Oblivion
by meggz0rz
Summary: ***WINNER, BEST DARK, FEUDAL CONNECTION AWARDS 2019!***Ancient Japan. A war to the death between youkai and humankind. Kagome, rebellious daughter of a noble family, takes her grandfather's place against the enemy, dressed as a boy and ready to fight to survive. But in love and war things are rarely as they seem, and there is a spy in the ranks who just might be her downfall...
1. Birthrights

_**Hello again, everyone! Yes, I do KNOW that I still owe you guys an epilogue for "The It Couple," and it's in the pipeline, I promise! I just had to get this one on paper before it started eating away at my brain. This is going to be VERY, VERY loosely based on Mulan. Emphasis on the VERY. Like, literally just that Kagome's in boy drag when she runs off to join the army to save a loved one. That's it.**_

 _ **This one's going to be quite a bit more mature in theme than "The It Couple," given the setting. I can definitely promise drama, though. I learned I'm pretty good at that part. :P**_

 _ **Wellp. Here we go again! Hope you guys enjoy it!**_

* * *

 **Oblivion**

 **Chapter One**

 **BIRTHRIGHTS**

* * *

 _Thunk._

The arrow hit its target straight on, embedding itself into the tree trunk and sending a small scatter of snow fluttering from the branches.

Kagome let out the rest of the breath she'd been slowly releasing, and let herself smile with satisfaction as she relaxed her shoulders and lowered her bow. A single bead of sweat dripped down her temple.

" _Every single time,_ " her little brother moaned from his perch beside her. He clutched his own bow and quiver to his chest and gave her a look that could only be exasperation.

Kagome just looked at him and smiled, reaching over to ruffle the top of his head. "Don't worry, Sota," she said with a quiet laugh, "You'll get there the same way I did. Practice, practice, practice."

A stray lock of hair had come untangled from her loose braid, and she brushed it behind her ear, shivering slightly at the chill in the air. Both her breath and Sota's were visible clouds hanging in the air between them, and even dressed as warmly as they were, in their heaviest kimonos and hand wraps, with heavy furs draped around their shoulders, Kagome knew they were both starting to feel the cold.

"Alright," she said, clapping Sota on the shoulder and stepping back to let him take his place in line with the tree, "Shoot one more time and then we'll get you inside."

Sota, already threatening to pass her in height despite the six years' difference in their ages, slid his feet forward and planted them in the snow, taking the proper stance and nocking another arrow into his bow. A small moment of silence as he pulled the bowstring taut, and then…

 _Thunk._

Not quite at the target, but in the tree trunk nonetheless.

Sota sighed and seemed to allow himself a hopeful smile of his own.

"See? Much better than even last _week,_ " Kagome said, throwing her arm around his shoulders and leading him back through the edge of the forest.

She could see their house just through the mass of thick trees ahead; that was one thing her grandfather and mother always insisted on when the two left the village protection without an armed escort.

There were bad things outside the village. Everyone knew that. And so the parents warned their children to stay together, to avoid being out after dark, to never speak to strangers.

 _Especially_ to never speak to strangers.

Sota started running ahead, leaving large, heavy tracks in the inches-deep snowfall, and Kagome smiled to herself as she hoisted her quiver and bow and slung them over her shoulder casually, twisting and turning occasionally to fit through the denser areas of overgrowth.

There was a sound like the snap of a twig behind her, and Kagome whirled, fumbling for her weapon as she scanned the dimming light of the wood.

Nothing. She stood there for a moment, breathing in and out slowly and silently, her heart pounding in her chest.

And then, behind her, a friendly voice made her nearly jump out of her skin.

"Kagome!"

"H-Hojo!" she stammered, turning around and smiling, with just one brief glance back at the woods before exiting the thicket of trees and walking toward the young man standing at the edge of the clearing. "What are you doing out here?"

Hojo smiled brightly at her. He was the son of the daimyo and thus the village's most prized resident, rarely seen as he was now, out in the village without the company of bodyguards. "Your grandfather and mother invited me to dinner," he said as she reached him, and he bent to take her hand and bowed low before it.

"Did they?" Kagome said as he accompanied her through the door of the house, suddenly aware of how disheveled she must look after hours of target practice and scuffling in the woods with Souta. She brushed a few stray strands of hair away from her forehead, sure that her face was pink.

It had long been discussed among the more gossip-prone of the village that Hojo was seeking a bride before long, as befitting his place in the village hierarchy. Kagome's mother had heard that and was obviously determined that Kagome, just recently seventeen years of age and therefore ready for marriage, should be the one to snap him up before any other eligible girls could get to him.

Even though it irked Kagome some to be pushed like this, at heart she understood her mother's eagerness. Kagome's grandfather, great warrior that he had been in his day, was getting on in years, and with her father's recent sudden death, there was some worry about even a noble family such as theirs being able to survive without Kagome's marrying into a good family and easing the financial burden some.

And Hojo was...likable enough. Not _interesting_ conversation, to be sure, but _friendly_ conversation. When she'd mentioned as such to her mother, she'd been answered with an exasperated sigh. Apparently proper young ladies didn't concern themselves with such matters as liking their husband-to-be. Liking, and in fact, _loving_ , was for _after_ marriage.

"Lord Hojo!" Kagome's mother appeared and bowed gracefully. "Such an honor. Please, come in, sit down. Kagome, for goodness' sake, go and pull yourself together." She smiled at Hojo apologetically and led him further into the dining room, sending an admonishing look Kagome's way as they passed the threshold.

Sota smirked at her, and she curled her lip and smacked him upside the head as she rushed to her bedroom to clean herself up.

* * *

"Unfortunately, the situation is growing worse," Hojo was saying gravely when Kagome entered the dining room in a fresh kimono and with her face scrubbed clean, "My father is almost sure that the shogun will call for more reinforcements before the month's end. The youkai are growing bolder, more organized. They're attacking more than just traveling armies now; I hear tell that they're laying waste to entire mountain villages and burning them to the ground."

Kagome's grandfather, seated at the head of the table, merely took this information in stern silence, staring into his cup of sake and swirling it around absently. "If the shogun calls for it," he said finally, his once-gruff voice more of a whisper these days, "Then I will answer the call."

Kagome spilled some sake on her sleeve and nearly knocked her cup over. "The youkai are coming _this way?_ " she exclaimed. "I thought they were bound to the outer lands. That truce has stood for - "

Her mother cleared her throat, and Kagome sat back sullenly, rubbing at the damp corner of her sleeve.

"You're right, Kagome. The truce has stood for nearly two decades. But it would seem your poor father's death was just the beginning, and they are doing what we should have expected from the first - breaking their word. My guess is they've eaten through all their resources and stripped their land bare, and now they want to do the same to our lands." Her grandfather leveled his gaze at her, unsmiling but obliging.

"What do they look like?" Sota asked eagerly.

"Souta, that's enough," their mother scolded, then said softly, "Surely the dinner table is no place for this sort of talk."

"They have a right to know," Grandfather said evenly, staring down into his sake again, more subdued than Kagome had seen him in ages, "Pretending it's not happening won't keep those monsters from our doorsteps."

 _Thank you, Grandfather._

"I heard they look like giant centipedes," Sota said through a mouthful of rice, "And they take young girls and make them have giant centipede babies!"

He looked straight at Kagome, who rolled her eyes.

"If I have a giant centipede baby," Kagome mumbled, "I'm sending it after _you_."

"Kagome!" Her mother glared at her, then worriedly glanced at Hojo.

Hojo wasn't smiling, just looked at Kagome solemnly. "I promise I'll never let that happen to you, Kagome. I would die to protect you."

Kagome swallowed and felt heat rush to her cheeks. She realized that for once, she had run out of things to say, and decided instead to fill her mouth with a large helping of food.

"You are too kind to us, Lord Hojo," Kagome's mother said, leaning over to refresh Hojo's cup of sake.

After a few moments of silence, Hojo spoke up again. "I suppose I should reveal the true meaning behind my acceptance of your dinner invitation tonight."

Kagome nearly choked on a mouthful of sake as she watched her mother gasp softly and place a hand over her heart.

"Kagome," Hojo said, looking at her so sincerely and so kindly from across the table, "you and I have known each other since childhood, and I'm sure you can have no doubt of the way my feelings for you have grown. I've come here tonight," and here he turned towards the rest of the family, looking at each of them in turn, "to ask your permission for Kagome's hand in marriage."

Kagome just blinked and stared, knowing she probably looked like a complete fool but unable to help it. _The way his feelings for me have grown? He barely says anything but a friendly hello to me in passing!_

Grandfather's expression remained unchanged as he gulped down the remainder of his drink. "If she'll have you," he said, refusing to look in Kagome's direction, "then I heartily give my blessing."

The rest of the company turned to Kagome expectantly. Her mother in particular looked to be nearly foaming at the mouth in anticipation.

"I - well," Kagome stammered, feeling her face burn with heat as she struggled to find words.

"O-Of course," Hojo interjected, seeming to sense her hesitation, "there'd be no need for us to marry right away. As tumultuous as these days are, I think it only proper to wait a while. The future's uncertain for all of us, but…" He trailed off, looking a bit flustered himself. "...but if you'll put your faith in me, Kagome, I promise to make you happy."

Kagome let herself exhale slowly, silently. _Why not?_ It wasn't like there were other options staring her in the face. Hojo was as good a choice as any, right?

 _Right?_

So she gave him a small smile and nodded. Hojo's smile in return was one of pure delight, and he opened his mouth to say something else -

"Lord Hojo!"

It was an urgent call from outside the house. Everyone turned to glance toward the window, where they could just see the glow of torchlight against the night sky outside. They all leapt to their feet, Hojo leading the way, and opened the front door to find a group of samurai and vassals all standing there, swords in hand, faces grim and frightened.

"Wh-what is it?" Hojo said, his face as white as a sheet, as he hurried down the steps toward the men. Kagome recognized some of them as the daimyo's most high-ranked of samurai, the ones most directly devoted to the safety of the entire ruling family.

"The shogun has summoned your father for aid. The youkai have finally crossed through the western borders and are heading this way. They've surprised us all, damn them. We must get you and your family to safety immediately."

Hojo looked about ready to collapse with fear. "What of the village?" he said haltingly.

The leader of the group of samurai grimaced and shook his head. "You are our priority right now, my lord. Your father is planning for an evacuation by dawn, but we have to get you out of here, to ensure the safety of the daimyo's house."

"Then it is happening," Kagome's grandfather said, looking more resigned and tired than afraid, "All the able-bodied men must fight."

The samurai nodded. "We're calling every man with any skill with a weapon to report to the training camp in the western woods. It will take the youkai army months to cross the territory to reach the shogun, but we must count on our enlisted men to push them back as far as possible."

"So they're bait," Kagome snapped, stepping in front of her grandfather protectively, "Cannon fodder to keep the youkai busy until they've had their fill to eat."

"They should be honored to - "

"To what? Die horribly to keep the rich men safe?" Kagome felt her voice break. "My grandfather has served his time. He owes the shogun no more of his blood."

"Kagome! Be silent," Grandfather said sharply.

Kagome just clenched her jaw and looked away, feeling a lump in her throat and a sick feeling in her stomach.

"Lord, perhaps you _would_ prefer to remain with your family," the man in front of the group said hesitantly to Kagome's grandfather, "Your years of loyal service - "

"Our household _will_ be represented in the coming war," Grandfather insisted through gritted teeth, "We are samurai, and to stay home and depend on others' sacrifices would be the deepest dishonor."

He turned to his daughter-in-law. "It'll be up to you to get the children to safety when it comes time for evacuation."

Kagome's mother just nodded, clutching at her throat, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'll take you three with me," Hojo said, seeming to just remember they were all standing behind him, "Kagome, we'll get you all to safety."

"There's no time," the samurai said gruffly, "We don't have the horses to spare. Lord Hojo, you can send for them later if you wish, but we must leave _now_."

Hojo's hand reached out and grabbed hold of Kagome's, and he gazed at her for one brief moment, his once hopeful eyes now dull and numb. "I'll see you soon, Kagome," he said softly, "I promise." And all at once, he released her hand and was whisked off down the street by the crowd of bodyguards.

Kagome felt about ready to collapse.

"How long until they get here?" Sota asked, his childish curiosity replaced with almost frantic alarm, "How long until the monsters are here to kill us?"

Kagome's mother gave a gentle sob and took her son in her arms, holding him tightly.

Grandfather simply ushered them back in the house and slid the door shut. "Kagome," he said softly, his eyes far away, "My helmet. My armor. Go retrieve them."

"No," Kagome said, feeling a cold vice around her heart. "I won't."

He glared at her, though the expression was more pained than truly angry. "I am bushi," he said, "Like my father before me. Like my son, your father. I will not die without our house spilling blood in this war."

Kagome held the furious gaze for what seemed like forever, until she felt herself crumple and the tears began spilling as she rushed out of the room.

* * *

Kagome sat in the dim light of the armory, carefully removing each individual piece of her grandfather's armor from the ornate chest it was housed in. Her vision was still clouded with angry tears.

She realized that right now she was feeling that loathing of youkai that always seemed so ingrained in the minds of the village elders. Youkai had never truly frightened her, not even as a child. They had intrigued her, if anything.

But now? She was certain of it, she _hated_ them. All of them. They were the reason her grandfather would die for nothing.

 _He probably won't even be able to hurt one before he's cut down,_ she thought bitterly, feeling simultaneously ashamed of herself and relieved at being able to think freely.

"Kagome, child."

She jumped. "Where's Mother? And Sota?"

"I sent them to bed. They were both hysterical."

 _No surprise there._ Kagome felt a little hysterical herself.

She felt an old, wrinkled hand settle on her shoulder just as her fingers reached into the chest and closed around two sword scabbards. One, she knew, was her grandfather's, and the other…

"Your father's," Grandfather supplied gently, using her for more than a little support as he grunted and struggled to kneel on the floor next to her. Kagome felt the lump in her throat swell up again. _You can barely even move,_ she thought with frustration, _you'll never stand a chance in battle against vicious monsters._

"He was a better warrior than I'd ever seen," her grandfather mused, reaching out to take the red-banded katana from her hands and looking it over wistfully, "I was a very proud father, I must say. The proudest moment? He once returned from an almost-certain suicide mission in the last youkai war, with every last man still alive and mostly unharmed. He cared more for his men than he did himself." The smile he gave was crooked and genuinely fond.

"So did you," Kagome said softly, pleadingly, "And now _we_ need you."

Grandfather just shook his head and chuckled. It frightened her, how at peace with his decision he looked. He should be _furious._ He should be at least _mournful._

"I may be old, Kagome," he said, "but I'll be glad to die knowing I helped the daimyo and the shogun defeat the oncoming evil."

 _You won't help defeat_ anything _. It'll just be a waste. A waste of a life. Another unmarked grave somewhere in the wilderness._ Kagome furrowed her brow and chewed on her lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Alright then," the old man said, handing the sword back to Kagome and turning away toward the chest of armor again, "Let's get all this sorted and get me on my way. The earlier I set out, the better."

Kagome wasn't sure what made her do it. What sort of devil had possessed her. But suddenly she felt like she was out of her own body, that she was moving and speaking but not of her own accord.

"You're right," she said, a little too cheerily, "I'll go get us some tea, and while I'm at it I'll pack you some supplies."

Her grandfather grunted in agreement as he blew a cloud of dust off of a leather breastplate and worked to rub it clean with the sleeve of his hakama. He didn't look up as Kagome tiptoed back out of the room and down the hall.

Not into the kitchen like she'd said.

But into Sota's room.

Her brother had chosen to sleep in their mother's chamber tonight, clearly out of fright. Kagome didn't blame him. She was scared out of her wits too.

But the fear didn't stop her from shakily gathering a handful of Sota's clothing and stuffing it into a travel pack.

Nor did it stop her from rushing to the stables and saddling the horse, careful not to make a sound as she led it to the front step and tied it in place.

Kagome returned to the kitchen, still completely stunned by what she was doing, and prepared the tea as promised, then returned to the armory with a tray as if nothing were amiss.

Grandfather smiled and took the cup eagerly and set her to work preparing the armor for travel, strapping it all together in one large bundle to attach to the saddle. When the work was done, he asked her kindly to go and ready the horse, and so she took the armor and the swords and rushed outside, knowing he'd be too slow to follow.

When she poked her head back inside the armory, she found him on the floor, still and silent. He'd be out for a good twenty-four hours, with the amount of sleeping herbs she'd given him. Tearfully, she placed a kiss to his wrinkled old forehead, said a small prayer to no god in particular, and rushed out of the house.

 _Grandfather...Mother...Sota...Hojo. Forgive me. Clearly I've gone insane._

Still in her silk dinner kimono, with her hair streaming wildly behind her, she jumped atop her grandfather's horse and took off at a full gallop, heading for the trail that could take her through the western woods.

* * *

"It's begun."

Inuyasha looked up in mild surprise at his older brother entering the tent. "What?"

Sesshomaru's face was expressionless, as usual. "Naraku's sent the wolf tribe to start the push into the western lands. Or do you not know why we're here in the first place?"

Inuyasha's ears, white and dog-like atop his head, twitched in annoyance. "I know _why_ ," he snapped, sitting up in his bedroll and shaking himself awake, "I'm not a _child_."

Sesshomaru sniffed, the closest Sesshomaru ever came to a laugh of derision.

"I just meant I didn't think he'd be moving them so soon," Inuyasha grumbled, stretching his arms over his head and cracking his back. "I was getting some much-needed sleep."

He felt a prickle on the back of his neck and growled. _Always staring at me like I'm a fool_ , he thought. "Something on your mind, Sesshomaru?"

"You seem a little hesitant to do your duty, little brother," Sesshomaru said, a hint of malice in his voice, "Could it be you feel the pull of the human half of your blood - "

"I know what I have to do," Inuyasha snapped, pulling on his haori and tying it in place, "And I'm _not_ hesitant about any of this. I want the same thing you do. I want our father's lands back. Just like we were promised. I want the humans _gone_."

He knew he sounded bitter. He was tired of defending himself to absolutely everyone. _Everyone_ was questioning him, _everyone_ was looking at him with either distrust or outright venom.

"Keep that in mind," Sesshomaru said mildly. "You know your part of the plan is vital to ensuring our continued success in this campaign. And your...heritage, unfortunate as it may be, is what makes it possible."

"I understand," Inuyasha ground out, wanting the subject of his birth to be permanently closed but knowing that was too much to ask. With an angry sigh, he stood from his bedroll and reached for his katana, ready to strap it to his waist.

"Wait," Sesshomaru said, stepping forward and holding out another sword, one much more ornate and well-made. "Take this one."

"Tetsusaiga?" Inuyasha stared down in disbelief.

"The battle sword of Inu no Taisho," Sesshomaru said evenly, "Perhaps it will serve as a reminder of our purpose here. The reason we are allied with others of our kind to retrieve the lands we lost so many decades ago."

"Our birthright," Inuyasha said softly, his hand closing around the scabbard and taking it from Sesshomaru's outstretched hand.

"Get it done," Sesshomaru said, turning to leave, but not before tossing a small leather pouch at him.

Inuyasha caught it in midair and stared down at the pouch for a moment.

His clawed hand clenched into a fist around it.

* * *

 _ **Soooo...what do you think? Please let me know! This is quite a different vibe for me, but it's fun to try something new once in a while. I'm looking forward to these new incarnations coming into their own! Hopefully you guys feel the same! Laters! -meggz0rz**_


	2. Fainting Spells

**Oblivion**

 **Chapte** **r** **Two**

 **FAINTING SPELLS**

* * *

 _I am the most impulsive, most foolish…_

Kagome shivered and pulled her fur cloak closer around her shoulders. There were tears slowly freezing on her cheeks, pulled almost forcefully from her eyes by the stinging wind and the speed of her horse's gallop. She was fairly sure her nose was running too, but kept tightly ahold of the reins and just spurred the horse forward through the snowfall.

She'd stopped once she'd lost sight of the house and dressed in the frosty dark, pulling on one of her brother's hakamas and slipping her grandfather's armor over her arms. It was heavy, and cumbersome, and she was almost certain she wasn't doing it right.

It was perfect. She looked just like any other frightened young boy, taking the armor of someone older and more capable and trying to become a man overnight in the face of horrific circumstances. With her hair tied into a low braid, with her face covered in dirt and mud and her figure hidden by tight bindings and bulky garments, surely no one would be the wiser.

And if they were…

 _Well, that's why I brought my arrows._ She once again wanted to laugh at herself, to _scream_ in laughter and burst into tears and let her mind just break. _What the hell am I doing,_ she wondered for the thousandth time.

There was a mild clopping of hoofbeats just ahead. In the darkness, by the slivers of moonlight through the trees, Kagome could just spot a man wearing a hooded cloak…

Riding the smallest, _oldest_ nag she had ever seen. The poor horse looked inches from death, and was simply stumbling along in the snow, seemingly unsure of where it was headed.

The hooded man turned to watch Kagome approach. He was about ten years older than she was, wearing monk's robes. He gave her a friendly smile and held up his hand in greeting as if he had not a care in the world.

"Evening," the monk said, "Another lamb to the slaughter, like me?"

Kagome frowned and said nothing, avoiding eye contact.

"Apologies," the monk said, pushing back his hood to look her square in the face. He still had that easygoing smile on his face, and the bluest eyes Kagome thought she'd ever seen. "I tend to make light in hard situations. Not everyone appreciates it."

"Your...horse…" Kagome said, lowering her voice just a little, but not enough where it sounded forced. She gave him a very inquisitive look.

The blue-eyed monk turned to gently pat the animal's neck. "Poor old fellow," he said, "This will likely be his last ride. He's carried members of my order for over two decades. Once he gets me to the camp, I'm letting him retire for good. He can spend his last days eating all the vegetables I can spare."

"I didn't think monks did much fighting," Kagome said.

"They don't," the young man laughed, placing his hood back over his head, "They send the new initiates to do it instead. I joined the order just a month ago, so I'm the one to join the regiments. Fate does love its trickery, doesn't it?"

Kagome just sighed and nodded, feeling the nerves and fear roil up in her guts again.

"What about you? You can't be more than fourteen or fifteen."

She was acutely aware that he was looking her up and down, and she hunched her shoulders a bit almost as a reflex.

"No older brothers to represent the family, huh?"

"N-no," she said, resolving to volunteer as little as possible.

The monk seemed to get the hint, but it didn't affect his calm smile. "Well, kid," he said after a moment's silence, "Not to worry. I'm a fair hand in a fight; don't let the religious trappings fool you. I'll keep an eye out for you if you need it."

Kagome gave him a small, uneasy smile. "Thanks," she said hesitantly.

"Miroku," he supplied, "What's _your_ name?"

 _Oh, dear._ She scrambled for a moment, kicking herself for not having thought of anything earlier. _Not that I've been doing_ much _thinking lately._

"S-Sota," she stammered. Familiar enough where she'd look up, at least, if it were called out. But now that she'd said it she was picturing her younger brother's smiling face and she felt like crying. Would she ever even see him again?

"Pleasure to meet you, Sota," Miroku said. This was the most congenial man she'd ever met, honestly. He could even give Hojo a run for his money; Hojo who in all the years she'd known him hadn't looked unhappy or afraid once…

 _At least, until earlier tonight._

She was shaken out of her miserable hole of uncertain emotions when Miroku pointed ahead and gently patted his old nag to continue straight onward.

"I see the camp lights," he said, his breath a foglike cloud, "Maybe we'll actually get a decent night's sleep before they start trying to whip us all into shape."

He had that smile still pasted on his face, but the tone of his voice was more sarcastic than optimistic.

Kagome just nodded, that familiar dizzy feeling of apprehension returning.

* * *

"New recruits, this way! Relinquish your horses inside the gates immediately!"

Miroku and Kagome dismounted and did as they were told, tying their animals off on some haphazard-looking posts and following the trickle of young men wandering toward the large campfire.

There were several officers standing around, easily spotted by their much nicer armor and their general dismissive looks toward the volunteers, who all appeared to be as out of sorts as Kagome was.

Kagome just did her best to keep her head down and fall in line, sliding into the crowd and following Miroku as he tried to shove his way a little closer to one of the campfires.

"Anything to eat?" he asked one of the officers, "We've been riding for the entire night."

The officer in question just scoffed and turned to walk away.

"Well then," Miroku said, taking a seat upon the snowy ground and holding out his hands to warm them by the firelight, "A little hunger is good for the morals, I suppose."

Kagome swallowed. Her throat was so dry. Would eating snow help? No, probably not.

The fire was so _hot,_ though. It was making her feel a little delirious.

"File in!" There was a shout from one of the other ranked men, and the crowd of recruits began to move a little faster as they shoved into a group around the fire, "Commanding officer present!"

A man wearing the ornate costume of a general stepped forward and began addressing the troops.

Kagome was barely listening to his ramblings about honor, about defeating the youkai menace, about cleansing the land of their filth and restoring order, about loyalty to the shogun. She was feeling extremely lightheaded.

A nudge at her right elbow, and she looked up through half-lidded eyes. Miroku was staring at her with clear concern. "You all right, kid? You look a little…"

His voice faded out. She felt herself slump forward as the snow before her turned grey, then black…

* * *

"Sota! Hey, Sota! Do we have a doctor present? A medic? _Anything?_ "

General Naito's droning speech was abruptly halted due to the sudden disruption in the crowd.

A small, skinny boy, wearing armor far too big and shivering with cold, had just passed out, and would surely have faceplanted in the snow if not for the monk next to him having decent reflexes.

Naito looked a little miffed at being interrupted, and immediately turned behind him.

"Okada," he said, "Take care of this, would you?"

Okada just scoffed, but nodded. He stepped forward to shove through the crowd of the enlisted men and reached the boy, who was propped up in the monk's arms and breathing very weakly.

"Something's wrong," the monk said, "I think he has a fever."

Okada rolled his eyes. "That's fairly obvious. Give him to me and be quiet. The general's not finished speaking."

The monk didn't look very sure, but finally he held out his arms and Okada was able to quite easily sling the boy's prone body over one shoulder and push back through the murmuring crowd toward the medical tent.

The boy moaned a little and started to slide down Okada's leather armor. With a hiss of frustration, Okada roughly readjusted his grip, tucking his arms beneath the kid's legs and shoulders, eager to just dump the little brat off on the healer and be done with it.

"H-Hojo?" The boy's eyes opened slightly, gazing up at him. They were almost sapphire blue in color, and thickly rimmed with long black lashes.

 _Hojo..._ Okada recognized the name. One of the higher-ranked families in the area. A young man primed and ready to succeed his father as daimyo when the time came.

And frankly, Okada knew, that time would probably be sooner rather than later. _This kid knows Hojo. Strangely well-connected for a scrawny brat in secondhand armor._

The boy in his arms looked up at him, curious and obviously confused. "No," the kid murmured softly, his voice still youthful and high, "You're...not him."

"Well spotted," Okada snapped.

"Where...are we?"

"You passed out," Okada said shortly, "Clearly you're going to be a great asset to the shogun's troops. Can't even last a day's ride."

The boy then looked very ashamed, and clenched his jaw. "Let me go," he said, wriggling free, "I can walk by myself."

"Fine," Okada said, unceremoniously dropping him to the snowy earth.

The boy glared up at him with such fire that it almost surprised him, and struggled to stand on trembling limbs.

* * *

Kagome's arms and legs felt shaky and strengthless, but she forced herself, through what could only be sheer blatant defiance, to get to her feet and remain as motionless as possible.

The man in officer's uniform standing in front of her was at least a foot taller than she was, and he was standing there in the darkness, framed only by the dim light of the moon and the distant glow of the campfires down the pathway, with his arms folded in obvious scorn.

"Medical tent's that way," he said, and she caught the glint of a sneer on his face, "Let's see you walk yourself, and maybe I _won't_ order a notice sent to all the villages asking if anyone's lost a child."

Kagome, as out of it as she was, felt a stab of anger. "I am no child," she said, almost forgetting to lower her voice due to the indignity she was experiencing, "I'm...I'm…"

 _Wait. Maybe I shouldn't claim my true age. I'm already short for a_ female _my age, and to claim to be a boy of seventeen would probably seem outrageous. Better to play it safe._

The officer chuckled, and it sounded harsh and cruel. "Come on, kid," he said, "Think a little faster on your feet. If you're going to lie, you need to be better at it."

Kagome felt fear seize around her heart as she thought about just to what extent she was lying _right now,_ and how if this man in front of her knew it, he probably wouldn't hesitate to order her exposed to everyone in the camp.

Or to order her killed on the spot.

She fell silent and turned away to trudge through the snow toward the tent the man had indicated.

The first step was fine.

The second was wobbly.

And on the third, she tumbled forward, landing roughly on her hands and knees, feeling the sting on her palms as she took a shaky breath in and out.

She heard footsteps approaching, and she was roughly yanked by the collar back to her feet. The bindings on her chest squeezed tighter, and she wanted to scream in pain but bit her tongue instead.

He was bodily _lifting_ her off the ground with a single hand. The strength this man had in a single fist was _incredible_. Kagome could do nothing but let out a whimper, preparing for a slap or a punch or worse.

Nothing came. She felt them start to move, and she blinked her eyes open, staring at the man who had her completely helpless.

"Determined little brat, aren't you?" He seemed almost amused as he continued walking, still holding her up inches off the snow as if he were simply carrying a load of unwashed laundry.

* * *

Why these fools insisted on sending mere _children_ to do their dirty work, Okada knew he would never understand, but he'd always just shrugged it off.

Most of the boys who came to the camp to be trained were clearly scared stiff of everything that moved. They were all looking for some excuse to fail out of training and get sent back home to their mothers.

And then there was this one. Sick, delirious with fever, barely able to stand, and still trying to fight to stay. And if he knew Hojo, he was from _nobility_ , no less. Very surprising. The kids from fancy families were usually the ones with the most excuses and pleadings for mercy.

The lamp glowing in the tent ahead began to cast further light on the kid's face as they approached.

 _Yes,_ definitely _from nobility._ There was no mistaking those delicate little features, that aristocratic face shape. The boy was as pretty as any girl.

And he was _blushing_. Okada wanted to mutter in disgust and let the kid drop, but instead he just flung open the tent flap, deposited the boy on a cot and muttered a few words of instruction to the healer.

* * *

As she was roughly shoved into a horizontal position on the threadbare cot, and just before a foul-tasting tonic was shoved at her, Kagome watched the young man in the armor of an officer disappear again out of the tent without another word.

"It's just a cold brought on by exhaustion. Let's get you out of those wet clothes," the healer, a balding man in his late forties, barked gruffly, and reached out to start yanking armor off of Kagome's body.

"NO!" Kagome sat up with a start, almost choking on the last of the disgusting medicine, "I'll be fine, it's nothing!"

The determination to not be unceremoniously groped and then murdered won out over how ill she was feeling, and the medic spluttered in surprise and protest as she flew out of the tent, tripping over her own feet once and catching herself as she sprinted back toward the camp.

She passed by the officer who'd helped her, who heard her approaching and turned with a look of absolute bewilderment on his face.

"What the hell?" he barked, "Get back in that tent!"

"Feeling much better now," she said quickly, trying to shove past him and instead colliding face-first into his shoulder, making him grunt, "Just a fainting spell. Family trait."

 _That's the best you can think of? Well done, Kagome._ She wanted to scream in frustration at herself.

"Oi." The taller man's voice was now properly irritated, and she felt herself wince a little as she looked up at him. His face was more visible now; he was probably only a few years older than she was, with black hair that even outdid her own in terms of length, and dark violet eyes that were narrowed dangerously. A very, very handsome face, she would have thought if her mind weren't currently occupied with trying to avoid getting punched in the face.

His hand clenched around the top of her breastplate and pulled her upward, his face mere inches from hers.

She did her best to look very sure of herself as she looked him straight in the eyes, clenching her jaw and keeping her mouth in a straight line.

"I personally don't give a damn if you live or die, but if you pass out again tomorrow in basic training," he said, and a humorless smirk began to cross his features, one that was rather terrifying to behold, "I will personally beat the ever-living hell out of you. In front of every last man here. Understood, soldier? There's no credit given here for a kid who tries as hard as possible to get himself killed, and I've been _itching_ to make an example of someone."

"I drank the medicine. I'll be fine. I promise," she said, unflinchingly, " _Sir._ "

His lip curled, and he released his hold and stepped out of her way, allowing her to pass him and return to the main camp, where she found Miroku looking very, very surprised at her sudden and incredible recovery.

"How on heaven or on earth - " he began, and she just sat back down next to him, eyes fluttering closed for just a moment before she forced them back open and gave him a friendly smile.

"Fainting spell," she said again, still feeling like a fool for that excuse, "Family trait."

And then her attention turned to the general, who was now seemingly discussing what would be expected of them when training began early the next morning.

Behind the general, she saw the tall, dark-haired officer slide back into line, arms folded. He was staring straight at her. And he looked suspicious as all hell.

Kagome averted her eyes.

* * *

 _ **Yeah, Kagome's disguise is paper-thin and super obvious, but hey, it's not like she had much time to plan, right? I'm sure she's well aware that it's probably just a matter of time til she's found out. Unless some sort of miracle happens.**_

 _ **MIROKU! YAY FOR MIROKU! (If you are new to my stories, Kagome and Miroku are the ultimate brOTP for me. This story will be no different.) This Miroku will be much closer to his canon counterpart, which has already confused the hell out of my poor boyfriend, who has not watched enough Inuyasha to know what these characters are actually like in canon. Hahaha, poor dear. Oh well.**_

 _ **If any of you guys are New Japan Pro Wrestling fans you will recognize a few of the names in this chapter. The names have NOTHING whatsoever to do with anything, but they sure were easy for me to remember! Hahahaha, oh author appeal, my favorite trope.**_

 _ **Curious to hear what you guys think. Too bad Inuyasha wasn't in this chapter, huh? Oh well. ;)**_

 _ **God, I can't help myself, can I? Lordy lord.**_

 _ **Love you guys! Please leave me a review and let me know how you're liking this so far. Thank you so much! -meggz0rz**_


	3. Playthings

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Three**

 **PLAYTHINGS**

* * *

The sound of a large brass gong accompanied by unintelligible shouts startled Kagome awake, and she gasped in surprise at the sight around her.

Dozens of men, all in various levels of undress, all grumbling awake around her. She'd slept in the far corner, curled into a ball and making herself as small as possible, with Miroku's back parallel to hers. The level of exhaustion and illness she'd been at last night had clearly clouded her mind, and she couldn't remember even having given the idea of sleeping in a tent full of men a second thought.

But now? She bit her tongue to distract herself and keep from blushing in utter shame as she sat up, surreptitiously checking her chest bindings and pulling her brother's hakama tighter around herself.

A man she'd never seen before poked his head into the tent, screaming for the grunts to all get up and be quick about it. Kagome fought back the squeak of surprise and forced herself to just grumble along with the rest of them as she grabbed her rolled-up bundle of armor and began to dress herself.

"Miroku," she whispered to the man laying on his side next to her, who hadn't stirred at any of the cacophony of noises outside.

He blinked awake with a grumpy, irritated look that relaxed into that calm, easygoing smile as he seemed to remember his own holy vows. "Morning," he said, sitting up brightly, "Time for breakfast, I suppose?"

Kagome's stomach growled audibly. "One can only hope," she muttered, tossing her braid over her shoulder and settling the breastplate in place.

There was indeed breakfast, though calling it something to hope for was a stretch. Flavorless soup, with an occasional scrap of meat or perhaps an entire onion, unsliced, just floating there, sad and waterlogged.

Miroku, for his part, didn't seem to mind, and he ate like he'd never had anything more delicious in his life. Kagome reminded herself to ask him just how awful the food had been at the monastery as she forced herself to eat every drop.

"How are you feeling, by the way?" he asked, looking her up and down with concern.

She smiled and just waved him off. "Much better," she said, and it was true.

Whatever had been in that horrible tonic seemed to have done the trick. As did having a night of sleep and a little bit of reflection on her own actions of the previous day. When she'd made the decision to run away and join the army, it had been on a whim, and every waking thought she'd had for the next twelve hours had involved fear of death, terror of the unknown, self-doubt, and brokenhearted sorrow. No wonder she had collapsed.

But now? All that Kagome was feeling was a sort of resignation. Not an entirely pessimistic resignation, either. Just the knowledge that her grandfather and the rest of the family were safe was enough. Enough to make this crazy scheme worth it in her mind.

She was going to keep her head down and try to stay alive. And maybe take a few youkai invaders down in the process.

 _Hey, it's a better legacy than just getting married and picking out flower arrangements all day, right?_

She couldn't help the pang in her heart at the thought, just for a moment.

 _Poor Hojo. I hope he's alright. He doesn't deserve to be stuck with someone like me anyway. He'll find someone better, in time. I'm not exactly the bridal type._

There was a smacking sound as a fist pounded the table in front of her, and she jumped in surprise.

A group of three burly, hairy men, each with varying levels of missing teeth and scars. "You're Sota, aren't you?" the man in the center, obviously the leader, said, "The little one who passed out last night."

Kagome frowned hesitantly, then nodded.

"Delicate as a flower, aren't you?" the leader said. "Good thing you made that spectacle of yourself in front of everyone, or we might have never noticed you. Hope you're feeling better this morning."

"He is," Miroku interjected, his face no longer smiling for once.

The three men glared at the monk. "We'd rather discuss it with the boy, if you don't mind, priest," the leader said, then returned his attention to Kagome. "If you need any help out there today, let us know. They say the training is hard on the newest recruits, especially the ones as soft and pretty as you are."

Kagome knew she was making a disgusted face as she inched backward without a word.

"Stick with us, kid. How about it?" The smiles the men were giving her were nothing but predatory.

"Leave him be," Miroku said, moving to stand up.

"Something else to say, monk?" The men all advanced not a little menacingly, leaning over the table.

Miroku's smile returned, and he shrugged, sitting back down. "I'm sure there are countless boys around here just clamoring for your, er, _special attentions,_ " he said charmingly, "but I'm fairly sure Sota here is not interested. Isn't that right, Sota?"

"That's right," Kagome mumbled.

"I don't give a damn who's interested or not." The leader leaned over the table even further, close enough that Kagome could smell the odor of rotting meat on his breath. "If he isn't claimed quickly, he's fair game for everyone, and we - " he glanced at his cohorts with a leering grin, " - don't share well with others."

Miroku, without missing a beat, looped an arm around Kagome's waist and pulled her close.

 _What on heaven and earth?_ She felt her face grow red hot and struggled a little in his grasp, but he held fast to her arm under the table.

"Unfortunately," he said, that smile of his now cold as ice, "this boy is already spoken for. I'd search elsewhere."

Kagome wanted to sink under the table and die of shame. _So now I'm some form of_ property _around here? Maybe exposure and death isn't the worst possible option after all._

The burly men looked about ready to challenge for said _property_ rights, and the leader opened his mouth to speak, when another voice made the three of them turn around.

"Is there a problem here?"

Kagome immediately recognized the voice.

 _Oh, great._

It was the officer from last night, the tall dark-haired one who'd been able to lift her entire weight in just one hand, the one who'd given her suspicious glances for the remainder of the troops' briefing, the one who'd made it very clear that if Kagome gave him any more trouble during training she'd be in a world of pain and suffering.

The three men straightened up and sprang to attention. "No, sir, Captain Okada," the leader said, "Just sharing our concerns with young Sota, here. But he seems to be well recovered from last night, thank the gods. Come on, you two. Let's get moving."

Okada, his name was, merely glared at the men as they departed, and then his gaze fell on Miroku's arm, which was still fastened around Kagome's waist.

Kagome immediately felt even _more_ embarrassed, for some reason, and she wriggled uncomfortably until Miroku released her and went back to his breakfast like nothing had happened.

Okada simply smirked. "Smarter than you look, kid. Maybe you'll last longer than a few days after all."

"I - that's not - " Kagome stammered, glancing at Miroku, then back at Okada. Miroku just looked quite amused at the whole thing. _Damn you, Miroku._

"If you're finished eating," Okada said, holding a hand up, "then get your scrawny ass out to that field. We're starting with sword training first."

He walked away without a backward glance.

Miroku burst into laughter.

"I'm glad you find this all very amusing," Kagome sniffed angrily, her cheeks still burning bright red, "Thanks to you, I'm now some sort of... _plaything_ …"

"Don't worry, Sota," Miroku said calmly, still chuckling, "I may have played a part to keep the wolves at bay, but your virtue is safe with me. I happen to entirely prefer the fairer sex. And they prefer _me._ "

 _I wouldn't count on it,_ Kagome griped inwardly, and without another word, she stood and went to retrieve her grandfather's sword from the tent.

"You're welcome!" Miroku called.

She ignored him.

* * *

The trainees were separated into groups by lower-ranking officers, based on what seemed to be educated guesses at each recruit's skill level in battle. Miroku was sent into one of the more obviously-capable groups, and Kagome, _of course_ , found herself at the end of it all, standing amongst old men, boys who looked even younger than she did, and one grizzled-looking veteran type who happened to be missing half of his right arm.

"Alright, you lot, there," one of the officers motioned to Miroku's group and a handful of others, "All of you, out to the outer fields to practice drills." Miroku turned to leave with his group, giving Kagome a little wave and a whisper of "Good luck, kid," as he went.

"So what are _we_ supposed to do?" Kagome grumbled under her breath.

That same voice that was haunting her every step, right in her ear. " _You_ ," Okada said, stepping around her into view and looking over each of them with a little distaste, "are with _me._ Lucky, huh?"

 _I am going to die._

He had a sword strapped to his hip, which he removed first and set gingerly on the grass before removing his haori top, revealing a well-sculpted chest and arms that Kagome knew were almost impossibly strong and firm to the touch. She made it a point to immediately look at the ground as he turned back to the motley crew of training rejects before him.

"Hold out your swords in your right hands," Okada said, hands behind his back expectantly, "Hold them up as high as you can."

Kagome's muscles screamed in protest as she struggled to lift her grandfather's katana to shoulder-level. Her hand and wrist shook with the effort. Around her, the others seemed to be doing a little better than she was. Even the one who was no older than _twelve_ was seeming to have way less trouble. She fought the urge to moan in frustration and grit her teeth, trying to hold her arm steady.

Okada stepped up to her, his dark indigo eyes searching her face. He wasn't smiling, but his tone of voice was filled with self-satisfaction. "Never held a sword in your life, have you?"

 _Of_ course _I haven't, I was never_ allowed _to -_

Kagome just squashed the angry thought, swallowed, and stared at the katana blade furiously, feeling a few beads of sweat start to break out on her temple.

Okada narrowed his eyes, clearly miffed that he hadn't provoked a reaction from her. "Drop your arm," he ordered, and she did so.

His hand latched around hers and he pried the blade's handle from her grip, tossing it aside. He held her hand in his, running his fingers across her palm.

Kagome was stunned, and strangely enough had to fight back a _shiver_ as he studied her hand for a moment, then looked back up at her with a smirk. She shrank backward, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks again, but he refused to release her hand.

"White and soft as a flower petal," Okada grinned, "These are the hands of a _woman_."

Kagome's breath caught in her throat, and then the rest of the company laughed as he finally let her arm drop back to her side.

He was making fun of her again.

She felt so out of place, so naive, so terrified, and he was making it worse. For no reason other than his own amusement.

She glared at him, and it only made him look more pleased with himself.

"Oooh, that's quite a look," he said, turning back to the other recruits, "Better go run a lap around the forest to calm yourself down, Rich Boy. See you in an hour."

* * *

Kagome's nose was pouring blood, her cheek was nursing a swelling bruise, and her arms and legs were covered in thick red welts by the end of the hours-long sword training. Every man in the group had practically _destroyed_ her, knowing exactly how to counter her every move and answering back with resounding whacks to her shins and wrists. _Surely those wooden swords should have broken by now,_ she thought with almost delirious frustration.

"Alright, everyone, I think that's enough for today," Okada said from his perch lounging in the tree above their heads. He was laying on his back with one arm behind his head, the other dangling lazily toward the ground, a half-eaten fruit in his hand. "A special congratulations to Rich Boy for not collapsing and dying. Yet."

The rest of the group just snickered as Kagome glared at them defiantly, then shot her fierce gaze up to the captain of their troop. "I feel just fine," she couldn't help but say.

"In that case," Okada said lazily, closing his eyes again, "You'll be happy to do another lap, right? The rest of you, dismissed."

Kagome, almost blind with fury, did something she'd never done before and actually _spat_ onto the ground (it was mostly blood, and a lot of it) before all but stomping off toward the treeline.

When she returned to the same spot an hour later, there was no one there. Exhausted, with every muscle in her body trembling, she made her way back to camp, where the recruits were all eating the exact same thing for dinner as they'd had for breakfast.

Miroku looked up at her in mild horror as she unceremoniously slumped onto the bench next to him. "Gods in heaven," he said softly, "You look like death itself."

Kagome furrowed her brow at the officer's table ahead, where Okada was sitting and chatting with the rest of the higher-ranked overlords that were all making life a living hell. He seemed to feel her gaze, and caught sight of her after a moment, sending her that _infuriating_ smirk as he returned his attention to the ongoing conversation.

* * *

There was no light in the forest at night. Not if you knew where to go to avoid it.

It helped, being able to see in the dark again. Having to work with dulled senses was irritating. It made him feel...less than. It always had.

Inuyasha caught his brother's scent as soon as he cleared the river, some fifteen miles from the campgrounds. He'd made the trip in no time at all, once he was able to run at full speed without drawing suspicion.

"Brother," he said, his voice a low growl, "It's me."

But the scent had been misleading. It wasn't Sesshomaru there, not in person. Instead, it was his brother's froglike lackey, Jaken.

"Prince Sesshomaru sends his apologies," Jaken said sneeringly, "but of course, there's _real_ fighting to be done right now, Prince Inuyasha. As you are well aware, no doubt."

Inuyasha's glare turned murderous, and he had to restrain himself from beating the little bastard into a green pulp.

"What news do you have?" Jaken demanded, "What progress have the humans made?"

"Very little," Inuyasha said, letting his fists unclench slightly, "They're untrained, unprepared, and ill-informed."

"Excellent," Jaken said dismissively, "Keep it that way."

"I don't take orders from the likes of _you_ ," Inuyasha snapped, his ears flattening against his head in anger.

"Hmph," Jaken said, "But you _will_ answer to Prince Sesshomaru, and Lord Naraku as his proxy. It's a question of hierarchy, of course, isn't it? You have no choice but to follow the greater masters, the ones with _untainted_ blood - "

The smaller demon's green beak suddenly squeaked in surprise as Inuyasha lashed out with lightning speed and closed a fist around his throat.

Inuyasha gave an inhuman snarl, baring fangs that seemed to be growing and sharpening with every growl, and squeezed, harder and harder…

 _Kill. Destroy. Murder. Show your worth. Prove your mettle._

Inuyasha shook himself slightly and let go of Jaken's throat. The imp dropped roughly to the earth, coughing and spluttering and cursing, fighting to get air back into his lungs.

"You...how dare you!" Jaken screeched, "I will be telling milord Sesshomaru you can't be trusted!" He seemed to want to get out of there quickly, however, and with a flick of his wrist, flung yet another small leather pouch in Inuyasha's direction before scampering off.

Inuyasha, still breathing heavily, stared at his own hand for a moment, then bent to pick up the bag and departed from the woods in the direction he'd come.

* * *

Surely two miles' walk was far enough away, Kagome reasoned as she crept through the woods, clutching her only spare male clothing under one arm and lugging a heavy bucket of water with the other. The katana was strapped to her hip. Just in case.

She was so covered in sweat and blood and dirt. She _reeked._ And there was no _way_ she was going to bathe amongst the men and try to answer the question as to why she wouldn't fully undress. Knowing the kinds of brutes she'd met thus far, they'd just take such a statement as a _challenge._ She shuddered and couldn't help glancing around fearfully before slipping out of her hakama and chest bindings, standing bare naked in the thawing snow.

The water had been lukewarm when she'd snuck out of camp, and now, as she grit her teeth and upended the bucket over her head all at once, it felt like knives of pure cold stabbing into her skin.

She couldn't help the shriek.

It was a shriek she would immediately regret.

* * *

Inuyasha was leaping through the trees, making hardly a sound, the leather pouch in his curled fist.

And then, he stopped short, his ears twitching, at the sound of a scream, about a mile ahead. Frowning, he leapt up higher in the tree branches, holding himself up with one clawed hand as he sniffed the air curiously.

Thanks to his temporarily-restored senses, he knew the scent to be unmistakably human.

Human female.

Inuyasha growled. Had some of the troops broken rank and tried to smuggle an unwilling woman into camp for nefarious reasons? But then again, he didn't smell anyone else close by…

Jumping from treetop to treetop, he followed his nose…

And stopped short, golden eyes wide with shock.

 _Whoa._

The pale, soaking-wet shape of a young woman in her late teens, gritting her teeth and scrubbing at herself for dear life, dancing from one foot to the other in obvious protest against the cold of the ground.

At her feet were a boy's hakama and a pile of burlap cloth strips.

She was rinsing blood from her nose.

Her body was covered in tiny raised welts. Inflicted by training swords.

Inuyasha felt himself swallow, but his mouth was dry and he nearly choked from it.

 _...Rich Boy?_

Before he could even comprehend what he was doing, his hand reached into the leather pouch and pulled out the small vial inside. Climbing down to a safe distance, he downed the vial's contents and instantly felt himself grow duller, weaker, less heightened.

More human.

* * *

"Well, isn't _this_ interesting."

Kagome froze at the voice behind her.

 _Why is it_ always _him,_ she thought, and would have laughed bitterly if she weren't rooted to the spot.

She turned to look over her shoulder just as he appeared from the trees, his black hair more disheveled than usual, his face somewhat amused, _just_ as usual.

Kagome grabbed her hakama and held it up to cover herself, then realized what an idiot she was and jumped for her sword.

He was there before her hand could touch the hilt. The blade of his katana tapped the tip of her chin, and she shrank back in absolute terror, her back slamming hard against a tree.

"C-Captain Okada," she said, crossing her arms in front of her to hold the hakama up, fighting to keep her voice steady, "I didn't realize you were - "

"Yeah, I'm fairly sure you didn't think _anyone_ was out here, right, Rich Boy?" He glared at her, and she swore for a second his eyes almost glowed amber in the moonlight.

"I just came out here to - " she began, but he cut her off, leaning in closer to her, his katana blade wavering near her shoulder dangerously.

"You realize you'll be beheaded for this, right?" He was furious. Absolutely furious. "Was it worth it, trying to play hero for a lost cause? Were you _bored_ , is that it?"

Kagome still continued to play dumb. Refuge in audacity. "What are you talking about?" she said, her voice shaking.

Okada narrowed his eyes, lowering the sword slowly. Kagome almost let herself breathe again.

But then he stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder, and then slowly, almost tantalizingly, he reached for the hakama she was holding up with both arms. She tried to duck away, but it was pointless in his strong grip.

"Please," she begged, squeezing her arms as tight as she could to prevent him from doing what she knew he was doing. Tears began to fill her eyes, and she screwed them shut. "Just kill me."

She felt his hand stop and release the hakama, heard him breathing softly, evenly. When she took a chance and opened her eyes again, he was just glaring down at her.

And now that this secret was out there, now that he _knew_ …

For some reason, it made the look they were sharing have a very different meaning. One that Kagome couldn't quite put into words. She only knew that her heart was pounding in her chest, and she hoped he couldn't hear it.

Confusion and uncertainty tended to make her defiant, and it was no different even now.

"Do it," she challenged him, setting her jaw forward and resolving to look him in the eye as he did what he had to do. "Kill me already."

The sword in his hand twitched, and she felt the fear but didn't move.

It was as if an hour passed. They just stared at each other, each with furious glares in their eyes.

"If someone else catches you," he hissed finally, turning his head to the side, "You're on your own. I'll deny any knowledge of it."

Kagome's fierce gaze faded into a look of bewilderment. "You mean - "

"I mean you should be smarter about this," he snapped, "You act like you've never been around any men in your life. The others are already picking up on it."

She gave an angry, frustrated sigh. "It's not like I _planned_ this," she muttered, "I'm making it up as I go along."

" _That_ much," he said with that smirk again that so irritated her, "is obvious. Who's Sota? An ex-lover? Your father's name?"

"M-My brother's," she stammered sheepishly, staring at the ground, "My name is Kagome."

He stared at her for a moment. "Well, _Kagome,_ " he said gravely, "You really should just leave tonight. Go back home to your family and never do a day's work again."

She felt the tears start up again as she glared up at him. "I _can't_ ," she insisted, "If I'm here…" She trailed off for a moment, then sighed and continued. "...then _he_ isn't."

Okada's eyebrows raised, and the smirk grew wider. "Ahhh," he said knowingly, "I see. Well, you're loyal, I'll give you that. Stupid, suicidal, but loyal. He's a lucky man, whoever he is."

Kagome drew her arms tighter around herself and avoided his eyes. A chill swept past, and she shivered, suddenly remembering that she was naked and that her brother's shirt, held in her arms, was the only reason she wasn't entirely exposed to this man in front of her.

Turning bright red, she deflected the conversation to make herself feel better. "What were you even _doing_ out here in the middle of the night?" she asked bitterly, staring at her bare feet in the thawing snow and realizing she was getting numb.

Okada blinked at the question, and fixed her with a dangerous glare for half a second, before he stepped toward her once more.

She squirmed a little, but didn't move, just stared at him, trembling, as he reached toward her face…

"Your lips," he said softly, his eyes trained on her mouth.

Kagome felt her knees start to grow weak again, and this time it wasn't from hunger, fear, or exhaustion. "Wh-What about them?"

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, stepping back and away. "They're blue, idiot. Get dressed and get back to camp. And get your hands and feet warm." He turned to continue on his path through the woods.

She felt a little thrown for a loop as she called after him, "So you're really not going to tell?"

"Ask me again," he dared her without turning around, "And I will."

* * *

 _ **Yeah it was probably totally obvious where I was going with some of this. But hey, now the juicy bits can start! I switched this story's rating to T last chapter, but really, honestly, I'm about to go switch it back after just where things went this chapter.**_

 _ **Inuyasha, thy name is hypocrite here. You can't get mad at Kagome for lying when you are also a lying liar who lies...**_

 _ **At least he's got a reason to keep quiet about her...he can't exactly explain why he was that far out in the woods EITHER...**_

 _ **Appreciate any thoughts about the new revelations this time around! Thanks in advance for any reviews. I laaaahve them. -meggz0rz**_


	4. Bulls-Eyes

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Four**

 **BULLS-EYES**

* * *

The next morning, Okada - _Inuyasha_ \- woke at dawn after a fitful and restless night. Sitting up groggily on his bedroll, he ran two hands through his long, black hair and heaved a great sigh.

The scrawny kid from the rich family, the one who'd shown spunk beyond what was to be expected of his age and his social class, was, in fact, a _girl._

And now that he thought about it, a nice-looking one, at that.

Kagome, she'd said. Her real name.

 _Alright, enough of_ that _train of thought._ He shook himself slightly, pulled on his haori, and got up for breakfast.

Being an officer had its perks, even in the human army where he was of _far_ lower rank. The watery stew served to the enlisted men was nowhere to be found at _their_ table. Instead he could gorge himself on a nice helping of fresh venison and as much fruit as he wanted.

As he busied himself with breakfast, Inuyasha found himself scanning the tables of recruits. Every time he realized what he was doing and who he was looking for, he would stop and resume stuffing his own face. But it seemed he just couldn't help himself.

 _Ah, there he -_ she _\- is._

She was sitting next to that monk again, looking very obviously tired but still in good spirits as they chatted about whatever they were chatting about. At one point, that trio of giant bruisers walked by again, and though Inuyasha couldn't see the looks the men were giving them, they must have been menacing, because the monk grew very serious for a moment and seemingly instinctively threw an arm around the girl's - Kagome's - shoulders.

Inuyasha quickly returned his attention to his food, ripping off another bite of meat with his teeth and wondering if the monk actually knew the truth, if he was just acting in defense of a friend, if he was truly _interested…_

He audibly scoffed in irritation at himself. _What am I, a boy of fifteen? The second a female,_ any _female, shows up, I turn into an obsessed fool?_

Besides, he reasoned, she was a mere human. The very thing they were trying to get rid of. The very thing they wanted to disappear forever from these lands. A human.

 _A human. Like your own mother was,_ the nagging thought reared its ugly head. He squashed it, as he was wont to do.

His mother had nothing to do with anything. She hadn't been around long enough to.

Steadily chewing, he looked up from the tabletop and met the girl's eyes from across the common area. She was sitting there, her spoon dipped into her bowl of stew, just staring at him. She had a swollen cheekbone on one side and a split lip, all collateral damage from the previous day's training, but she didn't seem to be in pain. In fact, her face was entirely unreadable.

 _How did I ever mistake her for a boy?_

Inuyasha casually looked away as if he hadn't noticed her.

* * *

"Morning, vermin," Okada said in his usual sneering manner as he looked over the ragtag band of dead-last recruits.

Kagome had noticed one of them was missing. "Where's the old man?" she asked, "The one-armed fellow?"

Okada didn't look at her, but answered all the same. "Sent him up a rank. His skill level was clearly a lot more than the first officers gave him credit for. So he gets to play with the real soldiers now."

The group grumbled as a whole.

Kagome didn't join in.

She couldn't take her eyes off of the man standing in front of her, who was clearly pretending that everything hadn't changed yesterday. That everything wasn't completely different. He wouldn't even _look_ at her.

But then, suddenly, he _did._ And the look was an irritated glare.

"You with us, Rich Boy?" Okada snapped, folding his arms.

Kagome swallowed, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks. "Y-Yes," she murmured. What on earth was this feeling? Fear and apprehension that he would change his mind and turn her in?

 _Yes, that has to be it._

"Since all of you are at least _passable_ with a sword, with one exception," and here he smiled cruelly at her while the rest of the company chuckled to themselves, "we'll take a break from swordplay today and try a little archery. Youkai are fast and they travel in great numbers. If you can pick them off from a distance, one by one, that's a good thing, right?"

She felt her anger at his disparaging remark gently dissipate and just smiled brightly and nodded eagerly.

He looked a little taken aback for a moment, then shook it off with a frown and ushered the group to follow him into the forest.

* * *

"Alright," Inuyasha said, leaning against a tree trunk and motioning to where the targets were, scattered in the trees, "We can start with the basics. Standing still and firing. Pick the farthest target you can do."

He groaned inwardly when a few of them looked absolutely clueless when it came to even _notching_ the bow. _I don't know what Naraku and my brother are so worried about. These humans, on average, are pretty pathetic._

The girl, _Kagome, her name is Kagome,_ was standing back, tying her hair into a high topknot and rolling up her sleeves while the rest of the group shot.

The arrows loosed through the trees. Inuyasha, from his perch against the tree trunk, could hear how bad it was.

 _Like I said. Pathetic._ He sighed. This was going to be a long, boring day.

"Give me that," he snapped at the young boy standing closest to him, snatching the bow from the lad's hands and nocking an arrow into place.

 _Thunk._ The farthest target. Now, was that so hard? He sighed and pointedly handed the bow back to the kid without a word.

"Not quite center."

Kagome had quite suddenly appeared over his shoulder and was peering thoughtfully into the trees ahead. She seemed to be talking to herself more than to him.

Inuyasha glared at her. "Something to say, Rich Boy?"

She shook her head, still staring straight ahead at the target.

"You miss this," he growled, "you get another lap." _There. Let her see that she's not getting any special treatment from me. Let her see that I couldn't_ give a damn _if she's a girl or a boy. Let her see that she doesn't belong here and let her run off home and get out of my life -_

"Fine," she said simply, looking more thoughtful than anything as she raised her bow and stepped into position.

She barely even held the string taut before letting it loose. It was as if she'd barely even tried to aim.

 _Thunk._

She squinted and leaned forward slightly, trying to check the result.

And then her face split into the most genuine, happy smile. A smile that left him strangely unsettled.

"Gods almighty," one of the other recruits exclaimed.

A perfect bulls-eye.

 _Now_ Inuyasha was mad.

* * *

It was sort of cute, the way he seemed so frustrated. He hid it well under brief nods of acknowledgment and minor, ground-out statements of praise, but Kagome could tell.

Okada hadn't expected her to be good at this.

 _Joke's on you, Captain, sir. I'm not only_ good, _I'm_ great.

The other recruits were eventually shoved to the side and ignored entirely as he spent the better part of the next hour or so trying to get her to miss. He made her run and shoot. He made her turn around and gave her less than a second to aim at whatever target he called out. He made her shoot ten arrows within that many seconds.

She was very obliging. Shooting always put her in a good mood. And it was nice to feel talented at something again.

Wiping a trickle of cool sweat from her cheek, she took a breather and looked at him.

He was staring at her like she had three heads. His mouth was hanging open slightly, and his eyes were locked on hers, like they were searching for something. She wanted to smile, but didn't dare.

"One more," she said finally, "And if I miss this, I'll run a lap."

Okada just slumped backward against the tree grumpily, folding his arms across his chest with a sigh as the rest of the recruits laughed amongst themselves, now in _her_ favor.

* * *

The girl was _incredible._ He'd heard that a select few wealthy human girls pursued archery, but he'd always assumed it was more as a gentle hobby, an appropriately feminine activity that could provide them with exercise without allowing them to run rough and tumble. Apparently not for Kagome. He never would have thought it.

She'd been utter rubbish with a sword. And now that he thought of it, _of course_ she had. Any self-respecting family of means would _never_ let a daughter pick up such a mannish, indelicate weapon as a sword. Women used arrows and naginata, and that was all.

Inuyasha felt the swelling of respect in his chest, but refused to acknowledge it for the time being as she readied her final shot of the day.

Before she loosed the arrow, she looked at him and met his eyes.

And _winked._ She actually _winked_ at him.

He felt himself clear his throat and stare off over her shoulder. _Idiot woman,_ he thought, _do you_ want _to get caught and beheaded, is that it?_

Kagome released the arrow.

Full miss.

 _What?_

"Whoops," she said mildly, rubbing at her shoulder with a resigned smile, "Guess I tired myself out. I suppose I owe you a lap, don't I?"

The rest of the group stared after her blankly as she unrolled the sleeves of her hakama (wincing a little as her fingers brushed the red welts on her forearms) and took off for the clearing at a full sprint.

"Are we...done for the day, then?" One of the old-timers raised a hand, looking at Inuyasha hesitantly.

Inuyasha just nodded, his narrowed eyes watching Kagome's hair loosen from the topknot and start streaming along behind her as she ran out of sight.

* * *

Kagome slowed to a halt, the harsh winter air escaping her lungs in gasping bursts. Her feet were killing her, and her stomach cramped with the effort, but she was finally done with the lap.

Now to just retrieve her bow and arrows and make her way to dinner, that is, if they were still even serving by the time she got there. _I might miss cabbage soup water, oh_ dear.

She smirked to herself as she wobbled back over the hill towards the archery training range. The snow had finally thawed, but that just left the ground covered in ice-cold mud, mud which she was now covered in up to her mid-shins, and some of which had splashed up onto her face and arms.

She sighed, though it was a heavier, louder sound than it probably should have been. _If only Mother could see me right now,_ she thought, _she'd have a conniption._

And then her chest felt a little tight, so she pushed that thought out of her head and just sent her thousand-and-fifth prayer to the heavens that wherever her family was, they were safe and sound.

She found her bow and arrows, right where she'd left them, and let herself slump onto the grass next to the range, propped up on her elbows, trying to properly catch her breath for more reasons than one.

An orange fruit dropped into her lap from the tree above, and Kagome squeaked in surprise, jerking her head upward.

"I'd watch the noises like that, if I were you."

She could see Okada's black hair hanging around him over the thick branch he was reclining on, his arms and legs dangling freely on either side. He held yet another satsuma in his right hand, which he motioned towards her, then let go. She caught it.

"...Thanks," she said quietly, feeling that treacherous dizzy feeling again and wondering if she really _did_ suffer from hereditary fainting spells. To distract herself, she set about peeling the fruit with her short fingernails.

"Why did you miss?"

"Hm?" She glanced upward. He hadn't moved, hadn't turned around.

"I'm asking you why you missed on purpose," he said, a little louder, folding his arms under the back of his head.

Kagome took a bite of satsuma and shrugged. "Maybe I needed a run," she said with her mouth full.

She heard him shift and suddenly, there he was, landing on bent knees on the grass right in front of her. His mouth was set in a petulant straight line as he regarded her with obvious suspicion, tilting his head almost like a curious dog would.

Kagome sighed. "I'm telling you the truth," she said, taking another bite of the juicy, ripe fruit, "I actually needed the run today. And every day."

* * *

"You've been here three days, and you already want _more_ work and training," Inuyasha muttered disbelievingly, folding his arms.

Kagome nodded, and her eyes looked very large and sincere. He wasn't sure what to make of this woman, once again, but what else was knew?

"Why?"

She hugged her knees, and suddenly she looked very far away. "So I can help end this war."

Inuyasha couldn't help the scoff of disbelief that escaped his lips. " _You_?" he said, "Going to end this war by yourself, then, are you?"

 _You can't end this war. There's only one way it ends. And that's with all of you gone._

"O-Of course not," she stammered, her cheeks growing pink, "I don't expect to live through this anyway."

He blinked at her in mild surprise. She noticed the look on his face.

"Oh, what, you think I'm a fool, just because I'm a _woman_ from a _wealthy family_? You think I can't look at things and see them for what they _really are?_ " Kagome's brow furrowed in frustration.

Inuyasha wasn't sure he liked the way this conversation was heading. He averted his eyes and simply shrugged noncommittally.

"I just meant," she said softly, absently picking at the end of her sleeve, "that I want to do my part. Go out in a blaze of glory and take as many youkai as possible down with me."

"I would think staying alive might mean more to your family," he found himself snapping. Why was he getting irritated with her?

She bristled at that. "Woman or not," she hissed, "I am bushi." Her eyes grew misty and faraway as she recited the next words as if from memory. "Like my father before me. Like my grandfather, now and forever. Like my - well, perhaps _not_ any children, but you understand." A small laugh followed this, her own private joke that he didn't find very funny.

"So run all the laps you want," Inuyasha said, turning away, "It has nothing to do with me."

"Teach me the sword."

"What?"

"Teach me the sword," she repeated, then coughed softly, "Please. Sir."

His lip curled in disgust, though he wasn't sure who it was aimed at, exactly. "Tried that already, haven't we? Keep paying attention during training and you might learn something."

Kagome's blue eyes lowered to her lap. She looked hurt, ashamed.

"I need extra help," she murmured, "Surely you noticed that."

"Not my problem." He stood up to leave.

"Please!" she cried, grabbing at his sleeve, "You're the only one who knows...well, _you_ know. I'm actually nervous to get too close to anyone else around here. I don't know who to trust. I'll do whatever you want. I'll run laps. I'll do push-ups. _Whatever you want._ "

Inuyasha opened his mouth to reply, forced it shut, and yanked his shirt out of her grasp, disappearing down the hill toward the main camp.

* * *

Kagome should have expected she was asking too much of him.

Of _course_ it was her luck that the one person in this godforsaken place that knew her secret happened to be an absolute _toad_ of a human being.

And he was right. Helping her learn the sword and keep herself alive long enough to kill some monsters was most assuredly _not_ his problem. She'd been a silly, naive fool to assume differently. The trust she'd given him with this most precious secret of hers was clearly not extendable to any other avenue of life out here. Aside from that, they didn't know each other from strangers on the street.

She had to remember what a young girl she really was, in the grand scheme of things. Seeing things that weren't there, making everyone into romanticized ideals...she'd been doing these things all her life.

Only now was she starting to feel real disappointment at being wrong.

"Evening, Sota," Miroku said, looking up from his book, when she entered the tent and began furiously putting away her bow and arrows in the corner near her tiny bedroll, "You look like you had a thrilling day."

Kagome just grunted noncomittally.

"I hear tell you're quite the hidden ace at archery," Miroku said, a sly smile on his face as he turned his page.

So the camp was all talking about her, then? _Wonderful. Just what I need. More scrutiny._

"I'm rubbish at swordfighting," she mumbled grumpily, flopping onto the uncomfortable bedroll and crossing her arms, "I can't even _lift_ the damn thing right."

"Oh, see," Miroku said sagely, "That's just a matter of strength training."

Kagome cut her eyes toward him and propped up on her elbows. "Strength training, you say?"

"Sure," the monk crossed his legs out in front of him and leaned back onto his meager, straw-stuffed pillow with a contented sigh, "Just find a tree and do pull-ups, forward and behind. It'll hurt like hell for a few weeks, but you'll start to notice the difference, believe you me."

She couldn't help but smile as she laid back down.

 _As soon as one person proves me wrong about trying to be optimistic, another one proves me right._

* * *

 _ **I gotta say, it's really fun writing this Kagome. A girl from a super sheltered background who's still a hopeless romantic at heart and trying to figure out the way life works, all while the world may be slowly ending around her? Super fun and cool, yo.**_

 _ **As for Inuyasha, the thirst is real, yo. He doesn't even realize it himself yet, though, does he? :D**_

 _ **ONCE AGAIN brOTP COMES TO THE RESCUE! Miroku is best boi. Best gud boi. I luv him. We all luv him. Hopefully Kagome gets moved up in rank sooner rather than later so they can hang out more, right? ;)**_

 _ **Man, I am just churning these suckers out. I had the day off today, so that certainly helps. Hope you guys enjoy it! See ya next chapter! - meggz0rz**_


	5. Stitches

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Five**

 **STITCHES**

* * *

The weeks went by slowly, steadily.

Whipping a bunch of farmers and schoolboys into fighting shape by day.

Whisking off into the forest to pass off information and refill his transformation vials by night.

Inuyasha did think to ask his brother, just once, if it wouldn't be easier to just take several vials at once so he could have them in case of emergency.

Sesshomaru had narrowed his eyes and suggested that surely it would be _wiser_ to retrieve them one at a time, in case his things were searched or lost. The question of what was _easier_ was not the important one. Not when their plans were at stake.

Inuyasha had, of course, acquiesced, but had just marked it down as yet another sign that they didn't trust him entirely. They had to ensure he'd always be ready and willing to bring more intel, because otherwise his cover would be blown.

Because, of course, despite his constantly professed loyalty to the cause, despite the fact that he had killed and bled for them countless times in the past, he was still just _the half-breed_ , wasn't he?

The low, simmering anger he felt didn't make this one human camp any more endearing, either. He looked like them, sure, and he lived amongst them. And all the while he watched them struggle, argue, and despair, as more and more news came in of catastrophic casualties on the northern fronts.

But he wasn't part of them, either. Not really. Especially considering most of them would likely be dead by the spring's end.

No doubt that included _her._

Inuyasha had rejected her plea for further training and left her there in the woods, half expecting her to show up the next morning with a feisty attitude and a snappy comeback for everything he had to say. And he had half expected her to simply double up on her efforts during the swordplay exercises - if he said one attack, perhaps she'd do two, if he had them lift their swords in downward strikes, perhaps she'd do them twice as high.

But instead she'd just shown up for basic training in her oversized armor with her hair in a topknot, and her face had been all business. Every single thing he'd said to her, no matter how biting or sarcastic, she'd answered with a small, distant smile and a simple, "Yes, sir, Captain Okada."

She never asked again about training, sword or otherwise. If he didn't give her laps to do, she did them anyway. If he cut short the day's training to allow the men early access to the dinner pot, she remained behind, alone in the setting sun, lifting herself into shaky handstands, falling down with painful grunts, and getting back up to do them again.

It was at the least unsettling, and at the most downright unnerving. She was suddenly acting like they had no connection whatsoever.

Which had been what he'd wanted.

So he was unsure why he felt so out of sorts because of it. It was foolish, he told himself constantly. _It's not like we were_ friends _to begin with; we barely knew each other._

For Kagome's part, she didn't seem to be lonely. Or even aware of his absence.

She spent her days training as usual, but now, she was always the first awake, always ready to begin as soon as the others arrived. Early in the mornings, she and that priest friend of hers would take a morning walk through the woods, talking easily the whole time.

Sheer morbid curiosity, and nothing else, led to him following them just once. Perhaps he was curious as to what on earth a poor little rich girl in disguise and a middling, unimportant priest could possibly have to talk about.

 _Or perhaps you were curious why they both seemed to come back from their stroll sweaty and panting and laughing,_ said a nagging thought deep in his head.

If he'd expected to catch them in the throes of some secret passion, imagine his surprise when he found them dangling by their arms from a low-hanging tree branch, _doing pull-ups._ He scoffed, rolled his eyes, and returned to camp unseen.

And then he started finding her doing them in her own spare time, even without the monk there. For half an hour at a time, her teeth grit, her muscles rippling and straining for _just one more_ , she kept saying aloud.

When she was finished, she'd always hop to the ground, dust off her hands, and let her long black hair fall free of its topknot or its braid, running her small, thin fingers through it. She would close her eyes, still breathing heavily, and let the breeze kiss her face for a moment before finally gathering her things and heading back to camp.

Inuyasha first noticed the effect the extra exercise was having on her when she ripped the sleeve of her hakama accidentally due to a slightly misstepped dodge movement. The sleeve fell open, revealing cut, wiry strength where before had been just slender, shapely arms and shoulders.

She was getting stronger.

He might have mentioned something, some form of encouragement or just some random statement to get her to look his way for more than a second, but the next day, she showed up in the hakama with its sleeve repaired, and he knew it was too late to say anything about it.

He further noticed her steady improvement the first day she did a successful parry with an added flourish, spinning once and flipping the blade once in her hands so as to prepare to attack again from behind. Her hair was in a braid that day, and it snapped around her in a circle like a whip as she executed the footwork. Her opponent had actually stopped midfight and complimented her, and the glowing smile she gave was marred only by a small trickle of blood from her lower lip.

The first thing Inuyasha said to her in weeks that wasn't simple training exercises or reprimands was when he asked her then if she knew that she was bleeding, and she simply nodded, keeping the smile on her face as she wiped the blood off with the back of her forearm.

* * *

"Want to learn a new one today?" Miroku said as they walked along. Kagome of course nodded eagerly, letting a yawn escape her mouth as she finished tying up her hair in its long braid and tossed the rope of hair over her shoulder nonchalantly.

"Alright," the priest said, and unceremoniously let himself fall backwards onto the grass with a sigh.

Kagome blinked. "Um...Miroku?" she said, scratching her head and rolling her shoulder absently, "Is this some sort of...fakeout technique? Playing dead?"

"No," Miroku said, his eyes closed against the rising sun on his face, "The technique is _this_ part."

And with a single exhalation of breath, he had swung both legs upward and jumped onto his feet, immediately, almost instinctively taking a battle stance.

Kagome raised her eyebrows and nodded in appreciation. "Oh," she said, "I see. Very impressive!"

Miroku smirked and folded his arms. "Especially impressive to the ladies. Once you master it, that is."

She rolled her eyes, knowing her cheeks were likely growing pink. "Why should _I_ care about that?" She dropped to the earth and started trying to swing her legs to kip up.

"Why _shouldn't_ you?" Miroku's tone of voice grew wistful as he stared off into the sky. "There's nothing more precious in this world than the love of a good woman."

Kagome almost wanted to smile, but she knew her friend enough by now to know that whatever he said next would ruin whatever adorable sentiment he'd just made.

"As long as the woman knows how to be _bad_ , as well."

And there it was. Kagome scoffed and tried to jump up again, only to land rather roughly on the flat of her back, feeling some of the wind rush out of her lungs in a painful sigh.

Miroku reached out to help her sit up. "You'll get it, kid," he said, "Just takes a few uncomfortable falls first.

You know, it might help if you practiced the motion underwater."

* * *

"Captain Okada!"

It was the middle of the night. Inuyasha instantly blinked awake and sat up just in time for the flap of his tent to fly open. It was General Naito.

"Sir?" Inuyasha said, his voice hoarse from sleep, "What's going on?"

"We're being ordered to move. This comes from the top. Straight from the shogun. Four wolf youkai have been spotted approaching the village of Taijiya, at the base of the mountains two days' journey from here. The village walls are fortified but I fear they won't last for long.

"I'm sending our elites out at full gallop, and I need you to follow with the enlisted men. Tell them to pack light, nothing but armor and weapons, and bring a supply wagon with just the bare essentials. Understood?"

"Y-Yes sir," Inuyasha said, jumping to his feet and scrambling to dress as Naito nodded a farewell and disappeared again.

Once he was dressed and his armor was on, Inuyasha barked at the nearest sentry to relay Naito's orders to all the sleeping men in the tents.

There was general pandemonium as the soldiers all began scrambling around in the dark, rushing from tent to tent getting their supplies together.

 _I have to get a message to my brother,_ Inuyasha thought, growling under his breath in frustration. They weren't due to meet again in their usual spot until tomorrow night. And even if they were, how was he going to find the excuse to run all the way to the river on human legs? He'd lose at least two hours there and back, and the troops were leaving near immediately.

"Sota? Sota!"

The voice of the monk over the din of the crowd, shouting out a very familiar name.

Inuyasha called the monk over. "Report," he said shortly.

The priest looked bewildered and not a little alarmed. "The boy," he said, "Sota. He wasn't in his bedroll, and he's not anywhere in the camp. I've looked everywhere."

 _Well, then._ Inuyasha now had his excuse to stay behind and leave a note for his brother. This was perfect.

"I'll get him," Inuyasha ground out, "You start moving out. I'll find him and bring him along with any other stragglers."

The monk hesitated, then followed orders.

Inuyasha turned on his heel and headed straight into the forest. He was pretty sure he knew in which direction he would find Kagome, if her nightly sneaking-out habits hadn't changed much.

First, he had more _pressing_ business to take care of, more pressing than finding some wayward girl who obviously liked giving him trouble even when she was ignoring him entirely.

But he found Kagome first, purely by accident, of course.

A small, isolated hot spring nestled among a grove of sakura trees. He was surprised he'd just happened across it; it was very well hidden, very shielded from the inexperienced tracker's view.

He saw the profile of her head, bobbing up and down in the steaming water, eyes closed, and he started to approach.

And then she flung her legs out from underneath the water and arched into the air, landing smoothly on her toes several feet beneath the water's surface. Her long hair streamed around her, landing over her bare shoulders and breasts, and making gentle slapping noises as it hit her skin. She gave a soft smile, clearly pleased with herself, and lay back to float atop the water's surface to try the motion again.

Inuyasha watched it again, dimly aware that he had stopped walking and was just staring at her from between the trees like an idiot.

After this one, she leaned her hair back into the water to rewet it, and it hung over her back like a long, dark curtain. A few stray cherry blossom petals were caught in the strands.

He mutely watched her hoist herself via toned, muscular arms up and out of the water, settling on a large smooth stone and beginning to squeeze her hair dry. There was a tightness in his lower stomach that he knew all too well, and part of him _hated_ her for it.

The other part of him…

He furrowed his brow and shook himself out of it.

"Oi," he called, taking care to make as much noise as possible as he rushed forward through the brush, like he'd been running the entire time.

* * *

Kagome shrieked and hurdled herself back into the water with just her arms, fumbling among the stones around the spring's border as she frantically scanned the darkness ahead.

She moaned in frustration when she saw who it was. "Why is it always _you_?"

Okada scoffed at her. "If you were any better, you'd know not to let anyone sneak up on you. Especially in _that_ state." He smirked.

Kagome narrowed her eyes and, quick as a flash, raised the bow she'd had concealed amongst the border stones, arrow nocked and ready.

The fact that he took even the tiniest step backward was infinitely pleasing to her, and she grinned.

"Nice view," Okada said, raising an eyebrow, mouth quirking in a half-smile.

She glanced down at herself for a split second to see if her chest was exposed. It wasn't.

The bow was knocked from her hands, the arrow sailing free in an arch into the distant treetops. "Hey!" she snapped, as his hand closed around her wrist and lifted her out of the pool (Gods, but he was _strong_. Probably the strongest man she'd ever encountered.)

He deposited her onto the bank and threw her hakama into her lap. She huddled under it, her face flushed with embarrassment, then realized he was pointedly looking in the opposite direction.

"Get dressed," he snapped.

"Turn around all the way, then," she protested, crossing her arms.

"The regiment's been called to the mountain valley. We have to go, _now._ "

Her eyes widened, and she immediately scrambled for her chest bindings. Modesty would have to be fretted about later, she supposed.

"What's happened?" she asked, quickly pulling her pants over her hips and setting immediately to tightly wrapping her painful chest bindings.

"Attack on a village," he said, turning to face her in profile, "Wolf youkai. We're the last line of defense. Elites are already on their way with General Naito, and the camp's being deserted as we speak."

Kagome gasped, almost dropping her strip of cloth in horror. "But - my armor! My grandfather's armor! I have to - "

"There's no time," he said evenly, "We have to get there as soon as possible. I'd be there already, except…" He trailed off, giving her a severe glance.

 _Except for me,_ she realized with horror.

"Hurry and finish up," he snapped, turning away again.

Kagome's fingers were trembling as she fought to fasten the chest bindings in place, then pull her hakama on, then her shirt, then her shoes.

"One good thing about you forgetting your armor," he said, striding up to her as she pulled her quiver over her shoulder and grabbed the bow with her other hand, "is that you'll be a lot faster when you run."

He took her free hand, intertwining their fingers. Kagome stared down at their hands for a brief second, then averted her gaze, wondering if he could feel her pulse pounding through her fingers and wrist. Probably not.

For a moment, Okada sighed and leaned to the right, reaching out and raking the tips of his fingers against a tree trunk hard enough that she could hear the wood chipping. It had to hurt. She was going to ask if he was okay, but then he simply laid a palm against the wood for about half a second as if to steady himself, and then he took off at a full clip through the woods, pulling her along behind him.

* * *

They were cutting through the rest of the thick woods to try and head the troops off at the mountain pass to rejoin them.

Hopefully the scent he'd left on the bark of the tree was strong enough for his brother to track; he'd made sure to draw blood from his own fingertips to strengthen it. When Sesshomaru found the scent, he'd find the small slip of folded paper tucked into a knothole, and the youkai would know what their next move should be.

He had done all of it, right in front of a girl who, if she had realized what he was up to, would consider it the ultimate betrayal. And she would be right.

Biting hard on his own tongue enough to taste iron, Inuyasha dodged and weaved quickly through the trees, maintaining a tight grip on Kagome's hand. She trailed behind him, keeping pace but just barely.

"How are you not getting winded?" she muttered in obvious irritation and jealousy.

Inuyasha could only smirk to himself and not answer aloud. _You think_ this _is something,_ he thought, _you should see me on a_ good _day._

But of course, she never could.

He found himself wondering just how Kagome would react if _she_ knew _his_ secret…

And quickly realized that it wasn't something worth puzzling out. It wouldn't end well. For either of them.

The thicket of trees grew denser, harder to maneuver, and they both found themselves turning sideways and squeezing through several times.

Inuyasha grumbled under his breath. If he'd been in his hanyou form, these trees would have been no trouble at all. Just a quick leap to the canopies and he'd bypass the whole thing.

But he had Kagome with him.

Kagome with her weak, frail, _human_ body. Who exercised it as much as she could, who trained day in and day out, and _still_ couldn't come close to the strength and endurance of even the weakest youkai.

He glanced back over his shoulder. She was clearly out of breath and in pain, but her face was screwed up with determination and pointed squarely at the earth in front of her feet, as if she were silently willing herself to keep going, to take the next step, then the other…

Something seemed to ache suddenly in the deepest center of his chest, and he grimaced, slowing to a stop. In her focus, she stepped forward and collided with his arm gently, then looked up at him curiously, her shoulders rising and falling slightly as she panted.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly, her blue eyes studying his.

"Are _you?_ " He raised a querical eyebrow.

Kagome nodded, pressing at what appeared to be a stitch in her side. "I'll be alright," she said, with a small, reassuring smile, "Let's keep going."

* * *

She started forward, only to feel Okada's hands catch her by the waist, holding her in place. Fighting back a shiver that had nothing to do with temperature, she glanced up at him hesitantly.

 _How can he be so cruel and dismissive at times, and then other times, he's…_

The thought in her head faded out as she took in the look on his face.

It was like he was studying her. Memorizing her, even. His violet eyes were narrowed in concentration, traveling over every inch…

She felt his hand slide up her waist slowly, pausing over where she'd been pressing her side just seconds ago. She felt the heat of his fingertips even through her clothing and chest bindings, and involuntarily, her eyelids fluttered once, then drifted closed.

 _Just when I resolved to ignore his existence for the rest of my life,_ she thought wryly, and allowed herself a soft smile as she slowly lifted her eyes back to his.

He looked... _stricken._ His brow was knit together, his mouth drawn in a small grimace.

There was no mistaking it. The expression was _regret._

Kagome immediately realized what she must have done, leaning into him like this and just _assuming_ his actions were anything but platonic concern for the stitch in her lungs. And she felt like sinking into a hole and disappearing forever.

Her face immediately flushed red with shame and she all but flung herself out of his arms. "I'm so sorry," she stammered out, holding her arms out in front of her to put as much distance as possible between them. She repeated the apology over and over in her own head. _I'm sorry I'm sorry I read too much into it I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm such a stupid fool I got carried away just by a simple touch I'm so, so SORRY…_

With a small whimper, she shoved ahead, arms wrapped tightly around herself, making sure to keep herself at least ten steps ahead of him as she increased the pace through the trees.

* * *

He immediately wanted to grab her and pull her back, to wrap her in his arms and wipe that ashamed look off her face…

 _But imagine if she knew who was_ really _holding her._

He kept silent and followed her, careful to keep his distance and scowling daggers into the underbrush beneath his feet. It was better this way. No one would get hurt.

But even as he thought it, Inuyasha knew in his soul that that wasn't true.

One way or another, they would all get hurt in the end.

* * *

 _ **OHHHHH THE ANGST. AND THE THIRST. SO MUCH THIRST. These poor crazy kids. Inuyasha's got no clue, Kagome's got SOME clue, and Miroku's just here to teach some 20th century wrestling moves in feudal Japan. C'est la vie.**_

 ** _Thanks for reading and for taking the time to review! I say this every time but it really does make a difference to know SOMEONE is reading this, hahaha. Love you guys! See you next time! - meggz0rz_**


	6. Wolves

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Six**

 **WOLVES**

* * *

All Kagome wanted was to be as far away from Okada as possible.

But that wasn't going to happen for several hours yet.

So, fool that she was, she decided after about an hour of complete awkward silence, that maybe some lighthearted conversation would lighten the mood.

 _Or at least distract from what I just did, or rather_ tried _to do._

Just at the thought her face burned with shame. She sighed and ran a hand through her wild and tangled hair, which had since dried in the cool night air.

"Have you - " she swallowed, refusing to turn around as she wove around a low-hanging branch, "Have you ever actually _seen_ a youkai?"

No answer for several seconds. Kagome's chest almost _throbbed_ with the humiliation. She had ruined everything. She had made any semblance of friendliness or camaraderie between them disappear with one fell swoop. By leaning into what she thought had been a romantic embrace, she had passed the point of no return.

And then he answered.

"Yeah."

She exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "What are they like?"

"You mean you've never seen a _single_ youkai before?" She heard the incredulity in his voice, and for some reason it comforted her. This was familiar. This was _normal._

* * *

She turned to face him, a sheepish grin on her face, and shrugged. "Sheltered childhood, remember?" she said.

Inuyasha wasn't sure how to respond. What could he tell her about youkai? That they were all he'd ever really known from as early as he could remember? That in addition to knowing _all_ about youkai, he was also one of them?

 _Yeah, that would go over well._ Yes, he was only a half-breed. Yes, he had a human parent as well. But without the aid of those vials Sesshomaru so generously provided...to her he'd look just the same as all the rest did, wouldn't he?

"What do you mean, what are they like?" he grumbled, feeling somewhat hollow.

"My brother said they all look like centipedes and kidnap human girls in the dead of night," Kagome said.

Inuyasha grimaced. "Your brother was sadly mistaken."

She gave a small laugh. "I supposed as much. I always imagined them looking much more regal than that."

"Regal?" he asked.

She seemed to think over her words for a moment as she swung herself bodily over a tree root and landed smartly on her feet. "Like humans," she said, seemingly trying to put her thoughts into words, "but just more...oh, I don't know, _otherworldly."_

Inuyasha stared down at his hand, his _human_ hand, clawless and speckled red with the dried blood from his fingertips.

"Some of them look more human than others," he said finally.

She turned around again, clearly intrigued, and opened her mouth to reply -

A snarling growl sounded from the thick brush to their right, and they both whirled around. Inuyasha drew his sword and Kagome her bow. They glanced at each other for the briefest moment as the bushes rustled ominously.

Out stepped a trio of wolves, dark brown in color, their fur matted with a dark, sticky substance that Inuyasha couldn't see clearly. It didn't matter. He knew it was blood.

Kagome took a small, halting step backward in alarm. She whispered, "Are those - "

"No," he said quickly, baring his teeth and unconsciously pushing her behind him. They weren't the wolf youkai. He knew what the wolf youkai looked like in their animal forms, and they would have been _radiating_ power.

But these wolves belonged to someone, and from the look of their fur he was pretty sure just who it was.

The wolves all looked ready to pounce, all their weight in their hind limbs.

"Stay back," Inuyasha hissed softly to Kagome, placing a hand out in front of her.

"Like _hell_ I will," he heard her snap, and an arrow whistled past his shoulder, straight into the eye of the wolf on the right. The wolf gave a squealing whine and immediately collapsed to the earth, thrashing about.

The remaining two wolves didn't seem to like that very much at all, and lunged.

The first wolf headbutted Inuyasha in the stomach, wrestling him backward to the ground and snapping wildly, trying to get its jaws over his throat. Its breath was hot and stinking, and its teeth clacked together with such speed that it was all he could do to squirm out of the way and use his father's heirloom sword as the only barrier between himself and those fangs.

The second went right past him, right for Kagome, and though he couldn't see her, Inuyasha heard her grunt in pain.

His vision went white as he cursed this frail human body of his and ordered it, _ordered it_ , to move.

With all the strength he could muster, he freed his right arm from under the giant animal's chest and plunged Tetsusaiga into its side. With a feral growl of his own, he twisted the blade, slicing the wolf's torso into ribbons of flesh and gore. Hot blood flooded down his arm, and he felt some splash his face.

The wolf keened in pain, shuddered, and collapsed heavily on top of him, arms and legs still twitching. Inuyasha shoved the body clear of himself and scrambled to his feet, ready to jump over to help Kagome.

She was whimpering in pain. The wolf had her by the hair and was tossing its head this way and that, no doubt trying to tire her out and perhaps break her neck. She had both hands tightly wrapped around the thick black mass of her hair, trying to pull herself free as she awkwardly and wildly tried to kick up at the animal's face.

Inuyasha thrust the sword down into the wolf's spine and it bucked upward with a snarl. Kagome screamed in anguish as she was bodily dragged about a foot closer to the beast's body, where its giant paws began clawing and scraping at her. She let go of her own hair and held up her hands in a meager sort of defense against the onslaught.

Inuyasha felt himself growing desperate and he actually _punched_ the wolf in the side of the head to try and distract it. _If only I had my claws,_ he thought for a bitter moment. He pulled Tetsusaiga out of the wolf and stabbed downward again and again, a man possessed.

Kagome for her part was now pressing the flat of her forearm into the wolf's throat, shoving it backward, trying to slide her hair out of its teeth. She was gritting her teeth and moaning in agony.

Finally, _finally,_ the wolf that didn't seem to want to die actually did so. And it was Kagome's turn to be pinned under a hundred-pound-plus animal that was bleeding all over her.

Inuyasha, with a roar, grabbed the wolf by the pelt with both hands and actually _threw_ it into the trunk of a tree a few feet away. He was on his knees instantly, his hands going to her shoulders.

She looked up at him, dazed, her hair a matted, bloody, ruined mess around her shoulders and arms. Her chest was heaving with sharp, panicked breaths, and the look she gave him was pure, unsettling adoration.

"Kagome," he said, voice harsh and hoarse, "Are you - "

She managed a weak smile through a busted lip. "Two for you," she whispered, "One for me. You're winning for now."

* * *

"We don't want you here," the bearded man dressed in the stately regalia of a village leader was saying, "Your war is _not_ our war."

From where he stood amongst the rank-and-file men, Miroku watched General Naito step forward angrily. "We are under orders from the shogun. _Direct_ orders. Youkai are headed this way, and you are to give us quarter here so that we may defend you and your people."

The village elder glared back. "We owe the shogun no loyalty. We are an independent tribe, and have been so for the last hundred years. If youkai attack, we will defend our own village. _Without_ your help."

Naito looked absolutely outraged. "How dare you! The shogun is responsible for keeping these lands safe from the monstrous invaders, and you disrespect him this way?"

The middle-aged man just raised an eyebrow and spoke calmly. "You say we are under threat of a youkai attack, very well, we will defend our borders. But the last time a shogun's army came into this place under guise of _protecting_ us, they didn't leave for generations. Taijiya is not to be your shogun's latest conquest, not by force or by friendship."

"I have my orders," Naito hissed, "and we _will_ follow them."

The sentries standing behind the village elder looked poised for a fight, and Miroku closed his fist around his weapon in anticipation.

"Father, wait." The voice of a young woman.

Miroku watched a beautiful girl elbow through the crowd of villagers standing at the gates and step forward to the bearded man, placing a hand on his shoulder. She had brown hair that hung long and straight to her lower back, and the dress she wore was lovely but practical and modest.

"Sango," the village leader admonished, "Get back inside the gates."

"Father," she said, her face a mask of concern, "You should _listen_ to them. Before this turns into a fight in the streets. If there really are youkai coming, we should take all the help we can get - "

Naito cut in. "These are no ordinary youkai, miss. They are organized. They are _dangerous._ And they won't stop until all of you are _dead._ Men, women, children. Youkai are animals without pity, without remorse, without thought of mercy. You have no resources to fight them off if they get inside the walls."

The girl, Sango, seemed to nod in agreement, and turned back to her father with a fierce look. "If you refuse help now, and it turns out you're _wrong_ , what then, Father?" Her hands balled into fists as she seemed to glance back at the huddled mass of frightened, uncertain villagers. "Will you let them all die to save your _pride?_ "

Miroku wasn't used to such an outspoken woman. Frankly, he wasn't very used to women who put up much of a fight about _anything_. Except perhaps the price for their affections. Tempted to drift off to fantasyland in his mind, he shook himself and returned his attention to the confrontation at hand.

The village leader grabbed his daughter by the wrist, hard enough to make her wince, and leaned in close to her face. "Inside," he hissed, " _Now._ "

The girl, Sango, just glared at him and yanked her arm free before turning back and shoving her way through the crowd of villagers.

Miroku watched her go, then looked at Naito, who was looking extremely furious as the village leader turned on his heel to follow his daughter. The heavy steel gates, the only way into the village unless you wanted to try and climb some thirty-foot walls, swung shut with a clang.

Miroku sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He had half an urge to just sit down cross-legged on the grass; his feet were _killing_ him after all that marching.

 _So what do we do now?_

* * *

The blood of the wolves had begun to dry, and Kagome realized it was getting harder and harder to move as she and Okada continued through the woods. It had soaked into her clothes, her chest wrap, _everything._ It coated her arms up to the elbow.

Okada, now walking alongside her again, had gotten it even _worse._ An entire side of his face was dark red, an ominous mask in the darkness, and what had been dark copper-colored armor was now a splotchy brown.

"So _sticky_ ," Kagome griped.

He didn't reply. He'd been completely silent since they'd started walking again. They'd won a battle against a trio of ravenous wolves and escaped with only minor injuries, and he was acting like that was a _bad_ thing.

Rolling her eyes, Kagome let her hand drift up to the ends of her hair. The wolf's bite had severed it to her shoulder blades on one side, and the side that wasn't cut off was so matted and tangled she couldn't get her fingers through it.

"Give me your sword," she said, holding out her hand.

She couldn't see his face in the darkness, but she just _knew_ the derisive look he was giving her. "No."

"Give it," she said, flexing her palm, "Please. _Sir._ "

Okada sighed, and handed it over.

It was so very dark in the thick woods, so she had to stop and lean against a tree to saw against the frayed ends of her hair and cut it to just above her shoulders. She felt the prickle on her neck and knew he was watching her do it. "Well," she said, a bitter smile on her face as she felt the sword slice through the last few strands, "At least now I'll look more like a boy, right?"

She handed the katana back over, and for a brief moment her fingers brushed his in the dark and she wanted to cry again.

"I mean," she resolved to just keep talking, because if she was talking she wasn't thinking about it, about _him_ , standing right in front of her, having _killed_ to protect her, "I know I should have cut it to begin with, but I, well, it was the _one_ thing I still had to remind me of who I _was_ , you know?"

She held the ruined mass of hair in one hand, feeling the frayed, sticky strands in her fingers, then slowly opened her palm and let it fall to the underbrush. Then she reached tentatively upward to feel her own head. Her hair, having lost two-thirds of its length and what felt like even _more_ of its weight, was now springy and wild, seemingly pointed _outward_ in some places rather than down. She let herself laugh about it, feeling a lump in her throat. "I guess this isn't the _greatest_ haircut, but it's the best I could do given the circumstances."

Kagome realized it was stupid, it was silly, it was just _hair._ The stinging tears forming in the corners of her eyes were _ridiculous_ and she knew it.

She felt a hand atop her head, fingers weaving through her shorn locks. "It doesn't look bad," Okada said softly, clearly trying to make her feel better, "It'll grow back."

"You're right," she said softly, grateful for the darkness that hid the blush on her face and the way she ever so slightly was leaning into his touch again. Would she ever _learn?_

"Come on," he said, ruffling her hair once, "We're losing time. At this rate, we'll be a day behind schedule. I wasn't expecting these woods to be this hard to navigate."

"We're...not lost, are we?"

"Of _course_ not," he snapped. "But after all that, we probably should get up a tree until morning. There's bound to be more wolves out here."

Kagome smirked. "Are you scared we can't take them, Captain, sir?" A part of her was almost eager to fight alongside him again. Eager to try and outdo him in the numbers game.

He cut her a glare. "No. But I'd rather we didn't get any more blood spilled on us tonight. There's only so much hair of yours we can cut off."

* * *

On General Naito's obstinate orders, the army set up camp just outside the village gates just as the sky was starting to turn from pitch black to a navy blue. Soon the sun would be peeking over the horizon.

Miroku was eager to just collapse onto his bedroll, perhaps read a little bit, and let himself drift off for a few hours of much-needed slumber.

Before he closed his eyes, he wondered if Captain Okada had found Sota. Surely the boy hadn't wandered _far._ That kid had the worst luck when it came to everything. Okada was probably giving him an earful and making him carry something heavy as punishment. And Sota was probably enjoying it immensely. A glutton for punishment, especially from Captain Okada, it seemed. There was probably a story there, Miroku supposed, but unless Sota wanted to volunteer it, he'd leave it alone and decline to bring it up.

Miroku supposed they'd be here in a few hours, unless something else bad had happened. He shrugged to himself. Being pessimistic and thinking dark thoughts was not the way to cope with situations. That was _one_ lesson he hadn't ignored at the monastery.

Of course, it felt like the second he got to sleep, the noise of the men outside was rousing him again. There was no extended rest time, not in the shogunate army. The other soldiers made sure they were all _equally_ miserable.

"Monk, get out here and help us! You've had long enough to sleep!"

 _Always happy to oblige._ He ran a hand through his hair and pinched the bridge of his nose as he stood from his bedroll.

It looked to be early evening again. _Did I really pass out for two sentry shifts? And no one_ noticed?

He asked the first man he saw, "Is Captain Okada back? Seems like you charming people are sitting around more than usual."

The man scoffed at him. " _You're_ one to talk, priest. And we're doing what we need to do. The officers have been busy in the map tent all day. No one's breathing down our necks for once, so we're taking our time."

"Clearly." Miroku smiled.

The smile wasn't returned. "Since you seem to have such an opinion, why not get your ass moving and help it along? We've still got five more tents to set up before we get a meal."

As he stood there, helping some other men drive the stakes for the mess tent into the ground, he heard a murmur of conversation swelling amongst the crowd. A few soldiers had stopped working and were pointing up at the wall. Miroku felt his stomach drop for just a second. _The youkai...are they here?_

But no, it was that same young girl from before. Sango. Climbing _over_ the wall to the outside.

 _How did she even get_ up _there?_ He stepped backward from the tent stakes (much to the grumbling of a few of the other men) and like a man possessed wandered forward to watch her more closely.

She had a large cloth bag slung over her shoulder and around her back. That dress of hers was gathered and tied at her hip, and underneath it she wore what looked like a black skintight pair of leggings, no doubt to try and protect her modesty as she swung over the wall by merely the tips of her fingers. Miroku smiled as he watched her. _She's clearly done this before, sneaking out to do goodness knows what._ She seemed to know exactly where to put her hands and feet to keep the best hold on her way down.

Sango landed smartly on her feet and dusted off her palms as she looked around the crowd of soldiers for perhaps someone of notable rank. Several of the men had now noticed her, and were elbowing each other and whispering; some were just staring like slack-jawed fools. She either didn't notice this attention or was willfully ignoring it.

Miroku had just so happened to position himself right in her line of sight, and, gripping the large bag, she approached him.

"I want to speak to General Naito," she said, head held high and confident. "Where is he?"

He gave her a polite, friendly smile. Kept it cordial. "I'm afraid he's in a meeting with all the officers. I don't know if he'd tolerate any interruptions right now."

She gripped the strap of her bag a little tighter. "He'll want to see me," she said, "I'm _sure_ of it."

Before Miroku could reply, one of the trio of men that had been hell-bent on giving Sota trouble in the camp had slid up behind Sango and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Monk," the man said, smiling and revealing brown, rotting teeth, "You can't take _all_ the attention around here. First the pretty little rich lad, now this stunning vision of loveliness?"

Sango blinked in surprise and tried to squirm away, but the man just ran his hands up and down her arms. "How about it, beautiful? While you're waiting for an audience with the general, we can keep you company. I have some sake in my tent, and you can tell me all about what life is like for mountain tribes like yours."

"I'm not interested," Sango said, clearly trying to hold in her temper.

"Leave the girl alone, Sanada," Miroku said, "Your technique hasn't improved, has it?"

Sanada's lip curled in a scowl.

"Come on, miss," Miroku said, offering her his hand, "I'll get you to the general."

"I wouldn't go with him, beautiful. He's made it a point to claim the prettiest faces in the camp. You'd be safer with _anyone_ but him."

"That's not true," Miroku said, glaring at Sanada. _This is what I get for trying to help a friend, isn't it?_

Sango narrowed her eyes. "I think I can find my own way," she said, "Thank you both just the same."

 _No! Don't lump me in with_ this _pervert!_ Miroku knew he probably looked incredulous.

"Let go of me, please," she said to Sanada patiently.

When Sanada didn't move, _she_ did, quick as a flash of lightning, grabbing hold of his right hand with her left and vice versa and pulling his arms across his body as she ducked out of reach. Sanada yowled in pain and surprise as she stepped away, brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Where's the general now?" she asked Miroku casually, distantly.

Miroku just pointed to the map tent. "I meant it when I said I'd help you," he protested, sounding like an insolent child. _Just because I find you stunningly beautiful doesn't mean I'm not a_ gentleman.

"I don't need anyone's help," she said testily, walking away, "I can take care of myself."

He watched her speak to the sentries outside the tent, who stepped aside after a moment and let her inside.

"The bitch broke my fingers!" Sanada growled, sending Miroku a look of pure venom as he stalked away in defeat once more.

" _I can take care of myself," she said._ Miroku didn't doubt it.

* * *

 ** _THIS CHAPTER IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY KAGOME'S IMPORTANT HAIRCUT (TM). Poor thing. I feel her pain, my hair's to my waist and it drives me nuts on the daily, but the thought of cutting it short, especially cutting it short with a SWORD BLADE and no mirror...that's the stuff of nightmares right there._**

 ** _Nah but for real this chapter was basically just an excuse for more thirsty flirting and for us to meet our fourth main. AND HERE SHE IS!_** ** _Welcome to the party, Sango! She don't take shit off nobody and I luv her._**

 ** _Sanada is the name of another Japanese pro wrestler. To whom I must vehemently apologize for attributing his name to such a human wart as this. Sorry bro._**

 ** _Poor Miroku's defense of Kagome is starting to bite him in the butt, isn't it? Now everyone thinks he's just this crazy bisexual nymphomaniac. Which I mean, he's not bisexual that we know of. The other two descriptors fit pretty well. At least in canon. :D_**

 ** _Also is it weird that I felt sorry for killing the wolves as brutally as I did? I love wolves. I mean, sure, these are SPECIAL wolves, like they're actually vicious and yucky and mean, but still... To be fair, when I read Stephen King's "Cujo" as a kid my main takeaway was how sorry I felt for the dog instead of the people he was eating alive. ._**

 ** _Love you guys! I've got the next chapter all outlined, so expect it in the next day or two! Please let me know what you think. Thank you! - meggz0rz_**


	7. Bloodstains

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Seven**

 **BLOODSTAINS**

* * *

"Thirty-one, thirty-two…"

Inuyasha blinked awake and for a brief moment of surprise wondered what on earth he was doing up in a tree. The events of the previous night flooded back all at once. The wolf attack. Kagome screaming in pain. Blood everywhere. And then her smile at the end of it all.

" _Two for you, one for me. You're winning for now."_

There was a thump in his chest and he cleared his throat, shaking himself more awake. Sleep made him foolish and delusional, obviously.

"...thirty-four…" The voice was coming from a few branches below him.

He leaned over, his long hair draping over his shoulders.

Kagome was gripping a branch with white-knuckled fingers, doing pull-ups. Her shoulders and arms were pink with heat, shining with a fresh sheen of sweat. Her chest, clad only in those meager strips of cloth she used as binders, was flushed as well.

She did another repetition and he watched her breath escape in a small cloud of steam in the cool morning air.

 _Gods save me,_ he thought for the briefest second before opening his mouth to speak.

"What the hell are you doing?" His voice was hoarse from sleep.

Kagome looked up with a small friendly smile, her newly-shorn hair sticking to her sweaty face. "Good morning," she said brightly, panting and out of breath, "Perfect timing! I'm just about finished."

One more pull-up, and then she grit her teeth and swung her leg up to catch the branch. It wobbled somewhat under her weight as she scrambled onto her stomach and let herself lay there, head turned to one side. "Whew," she said, looking so very, very satisfied and happy as she glanced upward again.

Inuyasha immediately sat back to avoid her gaze. "Let's get going," he said grumpily, rotating one shoulder and cracking his neck with a grunt, "We've lost valuable time. Why didn't you wake me up?" From between the trees he could see the afternoon sun getting lower and lower in the sky.

Two small hands appeared on the branch he was sitting on, and Kagome's face raised into view. She propped herself up by her elbows. "You were so tired," she said softly, the look in her eyes making him _very_ uncomfortable, "I thought we could make twice the speed if you were well-rested. We had quite the night last night."

Inuyasha gave her the best irritated look he could muster. "Why aren't you getting dressed, then?"

"Oh, right, sorry!"

She disappeared back onto the lower branch again, and there was the noise of rustling fabric below.

"You better hope you can keep up," he couldn't resist jabbing at her. The way she was looking right now, all half-dressed and sweaty and cheerful, had him feeling very out of sorts and unsure of himself. _Hell, I slept a whole day away just now with no thought of the mission. I'm losing my touch._

"I will!" he heard her call, seemingly unfazed by how nasty he was trying to be to her, "Don't worry about me."

He huffed under his breath.

 _Impossible woman._

* * *

"Sota!"

"Miroku!" Kagome fought the urge to race up and hug him. There were rumors _enough_ about the nature of their relationship; no need to make them worse. _Besides, I'm a boy, right? And boys don't squeal and run into their friends' arms._ "I'm glad to see you."

"You just _had_ to wander off the second the troops get their marching orders, didn't you?" His smile was genuine and friendly as he gently bopped her on top of the head. "Wait, what happened to your _hair?_ "

"Long story," she said, "Captain Okada - " She glanced over her shoulder, where Okada had been following after her. He was already disappearing into what looked like an officer's tent to report their return, without a backward glance her way. She sighed and turned back to Miroku. "Captain Okada found me pretty quickly."

Miroku was looking her up and down, seemingly just now taking in how horrific she must look. "You're covered in _blood._ Are you injured?"

"No," she said quickly, "None of it's mine. We ran into some wolves, that's all."

"Did you _slaughter them for meat?_ " Miroku wrinkled his nose incredulously. "You smell like death, kid. You should probably go get yourself cleaned up. There's a small spring in the woods that way."

Kagome grimaced. "I don't have any extra clothes," she mumbled, "I had to leave my pack behind, we were already rushing…"

Miroku had already turned around and was fishing through his own pack. "There's no way these will fit you, scrawny as you are," he said teasingly, "but they're yours to do with what you will. As long as I don't have to smell you any longer. I'm fairly sure you have _brains_ in your hair."

He tossed her a simple, clean-looking white shirt and hakama.

Kagome was surprisingly touched. They would definitely be too big, and she'd have to make some serious adjustments to them, but _still…_

She gave him a quiet smile and rushed off into the trees, listening for the sound of running water.

The entrance to the natural spring was about thigh-deep, so she waded in and quickly disrobed, tossing her blood-caked clothes onto a submerged rock a few inches under the water. With a gasp to hold her breath, she dunked her head beneath the water's surface, shivering at the chill. Running fingers through her hair, she found herself making a disgusted face as she combed out the stickiness and sliminess of what had to be that wolf's dried saliva and blood.

She gazed over at the clothes bobbing gently on the rock's surface, slowly releasing red trickles outward as the water penetrated the cloth.

Her brother's old hakama was no doubt ruined. The blood would never wash out. _Sorry, Sota. If I make it through this, I'll buy you another, I promise._ Her chest wraps were stained as well, but she reasoned that that didn't matter quite so much. It wasn't like she could ask around for replacements, right?

The water was quite frigid, but she realized it felt good on her tired, aching muscles and her bruises. With a small kick, she let herself float gently onto her back, closing her eyes and letting the slow current carry her along on its meandering way.

She felt the water on her back get colder still, and she opened her eyes to glance around, realizing that she'd reached a sort of small natural pool. It was twice as deep. All the better to swim in, right?

Before she could move, there was a gigantic splash about ten feet from her head. The sun was setting, so the darkness in the trees had given her no warning that she was about to reveal... _well, everything_...to whoever this was. Kagome quickly submerged herself up to her chin, eyes wide, trying not to be noticed or make a sound.

She failed at both.

"Well, ain't I the lucky one?" It was _him,_ the ringleader of that trio of perverts who'd been after her since day one. He leered at her like a cat who'd caught a mouse. "Little Sota, out here all by himself? Come to find me, huh? That monk starting to bore you?"

"Um," Kagome immediately began trying to back out of the pool so she could turn and run and scramble back upstream, "No, sorry, I didn't realize you were here. Sorry to disturb you! I have to go, it's getting cold, bye!"

"No, stay here," the man latched onto her wrist with a huge, meaty paw of a hand, "We got off on the wrong foot. You're a good lad, right? You want to be friends, right?"

Kagome pulled her arm out of his grasp, careful to keep herself submerged up to her mouth. "Leave me alone," she said, her words bubbling in the water, "I mean it."

The man's great, wide face crumpled into a glare. "What gives you the right to act like the prince of Japan, here? At the end of it all, you're just a cute little piece of - "

 _Splash._ A great unidentifiable object collided into the space between the two of them, seemingly knocking the perverted bastard over the head, and sending Kagome reeling backwards with the wave of water. Coughing and spluttering, but keeping her arms firmly crossed over her chest and her legs tucked beneath her as much as possible, she looked up.

"Wh-What the hell?"

The unidentified flying object emerged from the water's surface, tossing back a head of long, black hair. "Evening," it said dully.

Kagome felt her face turn crimson.

 _Oh, no. Not_ again.

"Sanada, isn't it?" Okada turned to the spluttering man, raising an eyebrow. "You're needed for sentry duty. Get going."

"I-I just got _off_ sentry duty, sir."

"Well, you get a second shift, because I want to bathe in peace and you're loud. Off with you." Okada pressed his back to the rock face at the edge of the pool, folding his muscular arms behind his head and closing his eyes. "You too, Rich Boy. Get out of here."

Sanada turned to Kagome with a brief look of utter contempt and turned to clamber out of the pool. Kagome pointedly turned her head away and moved to leave, head back downstream, just _get the hell out of there._

"Oi." Now it was _another_ hand grabbing hold of her wrist.

She stopped short. "Y-Yes sir?" she said, refusing to turn back around.

"Hold on a minute."

 _Oh gods._ Kagome felt her heart start to pound again as she hugged herself tighter under the water. She slowly reached with her other hand to cover his with it, but hesitated, knowing she was probably shaking...

There was a long moment of unbearable silence.

"Alright," she heard Okada say as he released her hand, "You're safe now. He's gone. Now finish washing up and get going."

Bewildered, she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and chanced a look over her shoulder.

Okada was submerged up to his shoulders, raking his hands through his hair just as she'd been doing a few minutes before. The dried blood on his face was starting to rinse off, making pinkish streaks across his neck and collarbone.

He opened one eye and looked at her, raising an eyebrow. She felt the urge to submerge herself again, because she just _knew_ what color her face must be right now.

"Here," he said, reaching out a hand. In his fist was a linen kerchief. "You're going to have to scrub. Bloodstains don't come out easily."

Kagome looked down at herself. Sure enough, though the blood itself had long since washed off, there were splotchy pink marks all over her. "Thanks," she said softly, tentatively reaching out and taking the cloth.

He clearly saw her hesitation, because he gave a small humorless laugh and continued to scrub at his hair. "Relax, woman," he said, "You've got nothing I haven't seen before, remember?"

"Yes," she said tartly, "I remember."

Her mind suddenly returned to the previous night, when about an hour before they'd joined in battle against the pack of wolves, she'd misinterpreted _everything_ and leaned in toward him, leaned her head up towards his, expected him to kiss her and _hoped_ he would...and she'd been completely and utterly and heartbreakingly wrong about the situation.

She snuck one more glance up at him, careful to be subtle about it.

 _Gods, but he's so handsome. A bit of a selfish jerk at times, sure. A bit temperamental as well. But he's beautiful and strong and honorable and so very kind, deep down. And I'm an absolute idiot who can't leave well enough alone._

Whatever it was that she was feeling, he was obviously of a different mind about it.

Wasn't he?

Kagome sighed, feeling like she wanted to cry for some reason, and began to rub at her skin in circular motions, trying to clear the signs of battle from her body and the terrible stinging ache from her mind.

"Hurry up with that cloth," he grumbled softly, "It shouldn't take you hours just to take a bath."

* * *

"Nice night," Kouga murmured, crouching and peering out over the village from his position.

His compatriots Ginta and Hakkaku grunted in agreement as they finished pulling on their armor with grim, focused looks on their faces.

"Nice night for a _hunt,_ right?" Ayame, the youngest and most inexperienced of their party, shuffled forward and took a place at Kouga's side. She was smiling with barely restrained glee. Eager for the kill. Just like he'd been at her age.

"Ayame," Kouga said severely, "Remember. We're after their weapons. That's the primary mission. There's no room for you to lose control again. It could get you killed."

Ayame, a beautiful young wolf youkai with bright red hair and green eyes, huffed in response, but nodded. "Am I not allowed to play even a _little,_ Kouga?" She nuzzled at his shoulder with a tiny pout.

Kouga pulled away from her. _Stupid pup. Acting like she's always in heat, and always at the strangest times._

"I'll make you a deal," he said to her with a smirk, "You set the fires just like I told you to, and you can have your fun until I order the retreat. But be _careful_ , alright? I promised I'd watch out for you."

Ayame gave him a dazzling smile. "Lord Kouga," she said softly, adoringly, "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah," he rolled his eyes, pushing her off of him, "So you've told me. Now get going."

* * *

"So what did she look like, then?" Sota, hair still damp around his shoulders, waggled his eyebrows teasingly as he took another bite of his stew. "Pretty, I suppose."

Miroku sniffed. " _Extremely,_ " he grumbled, "but she was also extremely _not interested._ "

"From what you've told me," the kid said, raising an eyebrow, "That's never stopped you before with women. It's just made them a _challenge._ "

Miroku glared at him, but couldn't seem to find the words to retort.

"I want to see this girl for myself," Sota said laughingly, "A girl who made _you_ behave yourself? She must be a sight to behold." He took another bite of stew, then his smile faded into a look of confusion as he stared past Miroku's shoulder, squinting slightly. "Wait. Is _that_ her?"

Miroku whirled in his seat.

It was indeed Sango, but she was stumbling through the gate she'd just forced open, looking dazed and faltering in her steps.

He was on his feet in a flash, dashing across the yard and reaching her just as she collapsed forward into his arms.

"Lady Sango!" he exclaimed, cradling her head in the crook of his elbow and shaking her ever so gently, "What's going on?"

"H-Help us," she whispered, "I told the general I'd open the gates and I did. Now _help us._ " She reached out an arm to clutch at his sleeve. An arm that was horrifically burned, the skin blistering and blackened.

Sota appeared, sliding on his knees. "What's happening? What's wrong with her?"

Miroku slowly looked up at the sky above the village rooftops.

It wasn't the setting sun, like they'd assumed.

"Fire!" he shouted.

 _They're here._

* * *

Kagome sprang to her feet and helped Miroku lift Sango off the ground just as the camp around them exploded into chaos and men began running every which way to don their armor and brandish their weapons.

She heard the voice of General Naito over the din. "Into the village, all of you! Defend the townspeople and kill every youkai you see!"

 _This is it, isn't it?_ Kagome felt a cold twinge of fearful sweat prickle on the back of her neck. "Get her to safety," she said to Miroku, "I've got to get my bow."

"You don't have any armor!" Miroku barked, holding the unconscious girl tucked under his chin.

"No time for arguing," Kagome said insistently, "I promise, I know what I'm doing."

Without a backward glance, she raced into the crowd of soldiers, most of whom were racing in the opposite direction toward the village gates. Her bow and arrows were just where she'd left them when she'd gone to bathe.

 _Okada. Is he already inside?_ She screwed her eyes shut and ordered herself to focus. There was no room for error or distraction right now.

Her quiver strapped to her back, she took a moment to tie her hair into a small topknot and then raced, unblinkingly, for the interior of the village.

There was someone waiting for all the incoming soldiers just inside the gates. Someone who looked like a young man, but his hair was two shades of grey and black. He was just _standing_ there, one hand on his hip, looking a little bored.

The soldiers were all brandishing their weapons, looking with uncertainty at each other, advancing little by little and screaming epithets.

Finally, the strange young man flicked his tail - _oh, gods, a tail, this man isn't_ -

And the huge, snarling wolves came out of nowhere.

The men started to scatter and run.

And then the screams started.

Feeling sick to her stomach, Kagome leaped forward and began firing arrows. The fire was starting to spread; she couldn't see it yet but she could _feel_ it, the heat beating on her face like a drum.

She put down two wolves. More just kept coming. She pulled one man to safety from a pouncing attack, and that was her mistake. A very familiar feeling of being tackled to the ground, of snarling jaws snapping at her face...

Kagome screwed her eyes shut, ready for sharp pain and then nothingness.

But all she heard was a thud and a whimper, and then she was bodily lifted from the ground and being carried over someone's shoulder. Someone running at breakneck speed.

"You _idiot!_ " Okada was shouting, "You come out here with no armor, right into their trap? Do you _want_ to die?"

"Put me down," she said, as he jumped over some burning debris and rounded a corner into a deserted, smoking alleyway. He did so, and she dropped to her feet roughly.

"Stay here," he hissed, "That's an _order._ "

"Wait a second!" she called, but he was already gone.

* * *

Inuyasha was cursing the day he'd ever met that girl.

 _What kind of death wish do you have to have to run headlong into an obvious trap with_ no armor? His teeth bared in a frustrated snarl as he continued running through the smoldering streets, shoving past screaming civilians and dodging flying pieces of flaming paper and wood ash.

A wolf lunged at him and he sliced at its throat with barely a backward glance. He had to just find Kouga, see what they needed, and then the wolves would be on their way and this massacre would be over. The village would be left alone.

Across the courtyard, he spotted a young man around his age, with a high black ponytail and a fluffy brown tail, standing there surveying the destruction with his arms folded.

His companion, another wolf demon, this one almost entirely bald but for a stripe of silvery hair down the center of his head, was holding the village leader; he had the man by the hair and was forcing him to kneel.

Inuyasha almost called out Kouga's name, then remembered himself, and instead approached at a run.

"We're just here for the weapons, old man," Kouga was saying, his voice deathly calm, almost _amused_. "We'll find them one way or another, so you may as well tell us and end this quicker."

The man at their mercy glared up at Kouga and spat on the ground. "M-Monsters," he roared, "Filth!"

Kouga seemed to actually get a little perturbed at this. "Hakkaku," he said simply, and his compatriot with a flick of his claws opened the man's throat like he was slicing through paper.

" _What_ weapons?" Inuyasha shouted.

Kouga and Hakkaku blinked and turned to him. "Are you volunteering to help us, human?"

Inuyasha couldn't help the triumphant smirk. "Idiot," he said, "Don't you recognize me?"

"'Fraid not," Kouga said, "Hakkaku, grab him."

Hakkaku's speed far outmatched Inuyasha's in this state, and so Inuyasha found himself prone with a foot on his spine that could easily snap it in two if he made any wrong moves.

"Get off me!" Inuyasha growled, his fingernails digging tunnels into the dirt. He watched Kouga approach.

"Where are the weapons?" Kouga asked mildly, "And don't call us names like your _friend_ there did."

Tell your friend to take his foot off me or I'll rip it off!"

Kouga stopped short and sank into a crouch, peering into Inuyasha's face. His frown slowly melted into a smirk. "Well, I'll be _damned,_ " he said, "Look, Hakkaku. Look who it is."

"Whaddaya mean look - " Hakkaku bent over, just into Inuyasha's line of sight. His eyes grew wide. "...Were his eyes that color a minute ago?"

 _Oh, wonderful._ Three days. That was all the potion gave him each time. And he'd been unable to see his brother to obtain a refill. Inuyasha held up a hand in front of his face. His nails were now claws. And the hair falling all around his face? Silvery-white.

He'd changed back. Right this instant.

"I didn't know you were undercover," Kouga said conversationally, seemingly unaware of the screams and roars all around them and electing to just catch up with an old friend, "Thought you'd turned tail and run. Thought your _human_ side might have been too much for you, given the _situation_."

"You thought wrong," Inuyasha spat, his mind going in a million directions at once, "Now tell him to let me up."

Kouga nodded to Hakkaku, who stepped backward.

"What weapons does Sesshomaru have you looking for?" Inuyasha said quickly.

"It's not really Sesshomaru who wants these," Kouga said with a smirk, "It's Lord Naraku. And he didn't give specifics. Just said they can kill demons."

"So you burnt the whole _village_ down?" Inuyasha felt himself getting angry and he wasn't really sure why. He'd always understood that in war you had to make tough, sometimes fatal decisions. But watching all these villagers screaming in pain and sorrow was no longer his idea of a good time. He'd figure that reasoning out later.

Kouga just shrugged. "We needed a distraction," he said, as if it were obvious, "Plus Ayame's been itching for a hunt."

Inuyasha growled, feeling his fangs bare for the first time in what had been _ages_. "Come on," he said, "I'll help you find the weapons so you can get out of here. And then I have to hide out. You have to tell Sesshomaru to bring me - "

An arrow struck Hakkaku in the back of the shoulder, and he stumbled forward, roaring in feral pain.

The three of them turned to see what looked like a very young teenage boy, in clothes far too big for him, with his hair in a topknot and a fierce, combative expression on his face.

Inuyasha felt like screaming in utter despair.

 _Kagome. No._

* * *

 ** _Uh-oh, Spaghettios. This could be baaaaaaad. Also, HI KOUGA, HI AYAME!_**

 ** _Demon-killing weapons, you say..._**

 ** _This chapter is brought to you by COVERING CHARACTERS IN BLOOD AND GOOP SO THEY CAN GET NAKED TOGETHER. Available at all your local retailers._**

 ** _Laters! - meggz0rz_**


	8. Burns

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Eight**

 **BURNS**

* * *

Sango woke up, hearing whimpers of pain and realizing they were coming from her own mouth. She tried to sit up, but a hand on her shoulder gently pushed her back.

"Shhh," a hazy voice said, "Just lay still. I'm sorry that it hurts, but I've got to get your arm cleaned up."

 _My arm?_

She glanced down through heavy-lidded eyes.

Her scream of horror was immediately muffled by a strong, firm chest pressed against her face. She smelled cedar wood and incense and smoke.

"Shhh," the voice said again, "I've got you. It's going to be okay, I promise."

The hands at her back were warm, and it was into them she fell backward again in a dead faint.

* * *

"All units, fall back!" There was urgent screaming and what sounded like a stampede outside.

Miroku gently laid Sango back down on the bedroll, brushing her hair, damp with sweat and blood, off of her face.

"Monk," a face appeared through the tent flap, one he didn't recognize, but the officer's uniform was apparent enough, "Have you seen Captain Okada?"

"I haven't," Miroku said, frowning, "I think he's still in the village."

There was a moment of silence. "Then he's probably dead by now. Everything's burning to the ground.

"Be prepared. We've had massive injuries and at least fifty casualties. Grab whatever uninjured men you can to assist you."

Miroku's heart sank. Where was Sota? He'd run headlong into the whole thing. With no armor.

"Very well," was all he could say, and the officer fled the tent. More shouting outside, more frantic scrambling.

He placed a hand to the side of Sango's face, and thought it over for only a second.

At some level, he felt responsible for protecting the kid. He was his _friend_ , and in this day and age those were hard to come by.

"Medic," he said, and the only other trained healer in the tent looked up from applying bandages to yet another wounded man, "Watch over her. I'll be back."

"You were ordered to stay here!"

"Yes, well," Miroku grabbed his staff and headed outside without a second glance backward, "They can flog me later if they wish."

* * *

"Huh," Kouga said, almost amused, staring at his friend who had doubled over in shock and pain, "This one's got spunk."

"Little bastard! I'll get him," Hakkaku growled, yanking the arrow out of his shoulder and rounding on Kagome. He prepared to pounce.

Kagome took a step back and readied another arrow, teeth bared aggressively.

"No!" Inuyasha cried, then catching himself at Kouga's questioning look. "You two, get out of here. I'll take care of this little brat. Find the weapons and get back to my brother."

Hakkaku looked positively deflated, but rank was rank, and he slunk backward, waiting for Kouga's signal.

Kouga raised an eyebrow and looked Inuyasha up and down for just a moment. "Fine," he said finally, "Take care of yourself, _Your Highness_."

Another arrow whizzed by their faces. "Go!" Inuyasha snapped, and Kouga and Hakkaku leapt over a rooftop and were gone from sight.

Inuyasha whirled to face Kagome and was barely able to dodge the next arrow, which had been aimed right at his chest.

Her beautiful face, so contorted with pure venom. Pure _hatred._

* * *

Kagome held her bow aloft, taking in the sight of the dead man laying in a pool of his own blood in front of her, and the white-haired youkai standing over him. This one, and the two who'd just made their escape...they'd obviously ganged up on the man, this man who'd been a leader and a paragon of the village, and slaughtered him like an animal in the street.

 _Why. Why are you killing us like this. Monsters._ She fought back a shiver and held her bowstring fast, clenching her jaw and trying to keep her breath steady.

The white-haired youkai just stared at her and slowly approached, his hands at his sides. She fired the arrow, and he knocked it aside. _So fast._ She quickly nocked another arrow and stumbled backwards.

In the length of time it took her to draw a breath, he was there, right in front of her, and - _oh gods I'm going to die_ \- his eyes were narrowed and his mouth was a thin, grim line.

He seized the bow and snatched it out of her hands, the arrow flying in a sad arc straight to the ground. Kagome scrambled backward and managed to draw her sword, holding it out toward his neck.

"Stay away from me!" she snarled, the cold grip of fear arresting her movements and making her voice shake.

 _Time to use what Miroku showed me,_ she thought, _No time like the present._

She sank into a low, crouching stance and thrust her sword forward, right at the youkai's stomach.

But he caught the blade in his bare hand and held it in place like it was nothing. Even as the blood began to drip from his hand onto the sandy ground, he seemed to barely even register it. He was just staring at _her._

With a frustrated grunt, she snatched her sword backwards and prepared to swipe at him again.

She never got the chance.

She felt his hand close around her wrist, the grip strong enough to make her drop the sword to the ground. His other hand went to the side of her face. She felt the prickle of claws gently slide along her cheek and if she weren't certain she were about to die she would have thought about what an odd sensation it was.

Kagome had instinctively screwed her eyes shut when she knew she'd been caught, but she decided in that instant that she would die fighting her attacker.

 _Okada, you'll be proud of me when you find out I've gone out this way._ At the thought of him her stomach seemed to drop and her chest burned with pain. The feelings that she'd normally have suppressed or been embarrassed about flooded through with no hesitation, no second guesses, no doubt at all in her mind.

 _Let my last thoughts be of him,_ she said to herself, opening her eyes and turning them fiercely to the demon that held her in his grasp.

 _Gold._ Golden eyes like the brightest treasure. Kagome thought, almost humorously, that she'd been right about what youkai looked like; they looked human, but more _regal_. More strangely beautiful. Dog ears and claws and eyes of gold and a face like an angel.

She lashed out with her free hand and slapped him across his face. He didn't even seem to wince, just seized her other hand and held it in a firm grip.

 _He's going to tear my throat out,_ she thought with a cold horror, as she fought to hold his gaze. If he did, he was going to have to do it looking her straight in the face. Not that that seemed to matter to youkai at all.

And then, suddenly, a small blow at the back of her neck, and she was sleepy. So very sleepy.

"Okada," she murmured almost as an afterthought as everything faded to black and she crumpled to the earth. She'd been right; her last conscious thoughts were of him.

* * *

As she collapsed into his chest, Inuyasha caught her under the arms. He felt frozen in place.

The last thing she'd said had been his name. His false name, sure, but she was thinking of _him_ nonetheless.

Her hair was still damp from her bath just an hour ago, and it was cold against his cheek as he pulled her body closer and lifted her in his arms. There was no way she was awake enough to do it consciously, but it did seem that the way her head settled just under his chin was a perfect fit.

With a small grunt of frustration, Inuyasha forgot himself for just a moment and let himself nuzzle at her temple, drinking in the scent, the essence of her.

He wasn't sure how long it would be until he could see her again. He had to disappear for a while, at least until he could get in contact with Sesshomaru...

 _I have to get her back to camp without waking her. Without her or anyone else noticing me._ It was a tall order, but he wouldn't be able to leave without at least a small chance that she'd be safe.

As he stood there, trying to frantically puzzle through what his next move was, he heard a male voice around the corner calling out.

"Sota! Sota, where are you?"

Inuyasha sighed, allowing himself once more to hug her close, pressing his cheek to her forehead. _Perfect timing, monk._

The monk rounded the corner and immediately charged, yelling Kagome's false name and looking murderous. "Let him go, demon!"

With a feral snarl in the monk's direction, Inuyasha gently knelt and laid Kagome on the ground, then leapt over the smoking rooftops and headed straight for the forest.

* * *

Miroku knelt at Sota's side, mentally preparing himself for the worst. "Sota!" he cried, grabbing the kid's shoulders and inspecting him for injuries.

Not a scratch on him. He was just laying there, breathing softly and evenly.

 _That youkai...didn't harm him?_

There was a sound above their heads, the splintering of wood, and Miroku looked up to see the rooftop above them starting to crumble in on itself.

 _Best to leave the questions for later,_ he thought, grabbing the kid and throwing him over his shoulder. _We have to get out of here before the whole village collapses on our heads._

* * *

Kagome jolted awake and sat up, disoriented. She was in the medical tent, right next to Sango, who was fast asleep, and probably mercifully so, since her left arm was shredded and black with burns.

"I gave her milk of the poppy," Miroku said when he saw Kagome was awake and staring at the girl next to her, "She'll be out for a while."

"What happened?" Kagome said, running a hand through her hair. She felt a little dizzy.

"I'll tell you what happened," Miroku turned to another soldier and quickly set about wrapping a slash wound on the man's arm, grinding the words out bitterly, "We walked straight into a trap. We weren't even _close_ to prepared. And that was just _four_ youkai."

Kagome frowned. "Five," she murmured, "There was another one. Not a wolf. Something else. It had - "

"White hair, yes," Miroku finished for her, "Honestly, Sota, I want a straight answer from you."

Kagome fought the urge to audibly gulp. "Wh-What do you mean?"

Miroku wiped a stream of sweat from his forehead with his sleeve and finished bandaging the wounded soldier, then turned to her. "Are you some sort of demon whisperer?"

She fought back the obvious sigh of relief, her hand at her collarbone as she leaned back slightly. "What?"

Miroku shrugged, shaking his head. "I have no idea why that white-haired youkai didn't hurt you," he said, "but you've got the gods on your side, kid."

Kagome stared at her hands, frowning. _Why_ didn't _he hurt me? I thought that was it, I thought I was dead._

Her eyes widened and her head snapped up. "Miroku," she whispered shakily, "Where's Captain Okada?"

Miroku stopped what he was doing and turned in his seat to face her.

His face was pained, as if he knew what her reaction would be. "No one's seen him since…" He trailed off, sending her a baleful look that just made her angry.

She couldn't help glaring at him. _What do you know,_ she thought, _He's fine. He's off killing all five demons at once and barely breaking a sweat. He's off winning this battle for us, because no one but him could do it._

"He's fine," she said again, her words no more than a whisper. "He's just running behind. He'll _be_ here."

She looked down at her hands again. They were clenched into fists in her lap.

* * *

Ayame sniffed, wrinkling her nose at the acrid smell of smoke. She dodged a sword swipe here, an arrow there, a wonderful, intricate, exhilarating dance.

 _Lord Kouga, are you watching? I grew up strong, just like you told me to. I'm no longer the child you found orphaned. I'm an equal, right?_

She seized one unlucky soul by the face and raked with her claws, the blood rocketing into the hazy air in spurts. Her pet wolves all ran in circles around her, lunging and snarling and eating to their hearts' content.

"Ayame." There was a hand on her shoulder. "Enough. We found the weapons, let's get out of here."

Sure enough, Ginta and Hakkaku jumped into view, carrying what looked like a large boomerang and several heirloom swords. So the mission had been a success. And Ayame had helped.

She felt her eyes flutter closed at Kouga's touch, and she turned to him with a bright smile. "Did I do well, Lord Kouga?"

He stood there, watching her wolves feast. His face was unreadable when he turned back to look at her. "We have to go," he said finally, and turned to leap over the village walls and make for the forest.

Ayame's hopeful smile faded, and she whistled to her pets and made to follow, her tail flicking in irritation.

Once they were over the treeline, they stopped to look over their bounty.

"Doesn't look like much," Ayame remarked, still feeling a little rejected and unappreciated. _I risked my neck for_ these _pieces of junk?_

Kouga sent her a scolding look. _Always acting like I'm a petulant child._ "That's the point," he said, "They're not meant to. But these are the legendary demon-slaying weapons of the Taijiya hunters."

"Well," Ginta said with a chuckle, grunting as he hoisted the large boomerang over his shoulder again, "From what I saw, the Taijiya hunters weren't much to worry about."

"They grew complacent and soft in the times of peace," Kouga smirked, "All the better for us. There are hardly any of them left after tonight." And he looked at Ayame. "Well done, pup."

The elation she felt at being praised by him was squashed immediately with the addition of the nickname. Ayame closed her hands around her upper arms and turned away without a word.

Then she smelled it on the air. "Dog?" she sniffed, frowning in confusion.

The other three didn't seem the least bit surprised when there was suddenly another sitting with them amongst the foliage.

Kouga just huffed in annoyance. "You killed three of my wolves yesterday," he grumbled.

"They attacked me!"

"They're trained to attack humans. What on earth were you doing in the woods, anyway?"

"That's none of your concern," the newcomer said, turning to Kouga with narrowed eyes, revealing a very aristocratic profile and a defiant sneer on his face.

Ayame blinked. "You're...you're Prince Inuyasha, aren't you?"

The white-haired, dog-eared young man just glared at her testily, like he was annoyed she was even asking the question.

"I have something for you," Ayame said quickly, nervously, as she yanked the small glass vial from its leather strap around her neck. She held it out. "I don't know what it is, but I was told that if we came across you, I should give you this immediately."

The irritated look on Inuyasha's face instantly changed to one of awe and relief. With a loud whoosh of breath, he snatched it from her outstretched hand and cradled it in his palm. "Apparently my brother thinks of everything," he said, a small, distant smile on his face.

Ayame cut her eyes to Kouga, who just gave a small, confused shrug that said to leave it alone. "And I have a message too," she said, "'This one will last a month instead of a few days.' Whatever _that_ means."

"Then I can go back. My cover's _not_ completely blown," Inuyasha said, looking truly elated as he closed a clawed fist around the vial, "I'll be seeing all of you soon, I'm sure. Tell Sesshomaru that the humans will probably start traveling again soon, most likely to the south again to regroup and decide what their next move should be."

"I still can't get over the fact that you've been undercover among humans all this time," Kouga said with a wry smile, "It has to be strange, staying among them, pretending to be one of them, all the while knowing what's coming. Of course, I understand why Sesshomaru picked _you_ for such a task - "

"Because it's you, Kouga," Inuyasha said, standing up to leave and sending him a glare that actually made Ayame shrink back slightly, "I'll tolerate a comment like that once. _Once._ "

With a stream of white hair flowing behind him, Inuyasha jumped down from the tree and sent the party one last humorless smirk before downing the contents of the vial and changing into a black-haired human before their eyes.

As he ran back through the thicket, back towards the flames of Taijiya village on the horizon, Ayame turned a confused and slightly concerned look towards Kouga. "What did he mean, 'because it's you,' Lord Kouga?"

Kouga was watching Inuyasha disappear through the trees, his arms folded across his chest and a bemused grin on his face. "Boyhood friends," he said simply, with another shrug.

Ayame felt her heart thump in her chest at the mild fondness his smile betrayed and swallowed before continuing. "Sh-Should I have mentioned that it was Lord Naraku and not Prince Sesshomaru who gave me the vial to give to him?"

Kouga just shook his head. "I can't see that it would matter. We all want the same thing, right?"

* * *

"Leave the tent for just a moment," Sota, who was applying a cool cloth to Sango's forehead, glanced up at Miroku. "I'm going to get her out of these clothes."

They had removed Sango from the main medical tent and instead placed her in Captain Okada's tent. _Since he probably won't be needing it anymore,_ Miroku had thought bleakly but didn't say.

Miroku looked up from where he was applying burn salve to his own forearm and gave her the most petulant, outraged look. "Wh-What? I'm the one trained in the healing arts, here. The gods have blessed me with a gift, and she'd be better off with _me_ \- "

"No," Sota said bluntly, "It's with _me_ she'll be a lot safer."

Miroku took in the sight of the boy. His eyes, usually shining and blue and full of life, looked almost dull grey, emotionless.

 _It's like the news that Captain Okada is missing has just..._ destroyed _him…_

Miroku felt his own eyes widen in realization. _Oh. No_ wonder _Sango's going to be so 'safe' with the kid. Ah, well, the gods made him the way he is for a reason. No need to judge, I suppose._

Knowing that Sota's emotional state at present left little room for argument, Miroku quashed his own rebuttal and with a sigh, exited the tent to stand just outside.

* * *

Sango felt herself being jostled slightly, and opened hazy eyes to see the young, fine features of a teenage boy looking resignedly down at her as he was pulling her outer robe off. Immediately, out of pure instinct, she tried to cry out and resist, to grab a weapon from within the folds of her outfit -

"What are these?" The boy held up the bag of metal elements that had been tied around Sango's waist, and they clinked and jingled together.

"Careful!" Sango cried, trying to swipe for them and falling back to the bedroll on her side, feeling sick to her stomach and dizzy. "Ugh," she moaned, "What did you _give_ me?"

"Milk of the poppy," the boy said, gently taking her by the shoulders and laying her down flat again, "For the pain."

 _Oh, right, my arm._ Sango winced and glanced down once more at her burned, blackened flesh. By the time she'd realized the attack was underway, her own house had already been on fire, and in order to reach under the floorboards she'd had to hold a cloth over her mouth and without a second thought plunge her hand down into the tower of flames to retrieve…

The boy was still looking at the bag very curiously. "What _are_ these?" he asked again. He had a youthful, clear voice despite the broken look in his eyes. She found herself strangely curious, strangely drawn to this person.

"W-Weapons," Sango said weakly, feeling herself starting to fade, "Weapons that can kill...even the most powerful...youkai…"

She closed her eyes, feeling like the weight of everything was starting to hit her. "My father…" she whispered, "Is my father alright?"

There was a prolonged silence as the boy kneeling at her side gently, oh so gently continued to remove her clothes. Sango grunted in slight protest, trying to push his hands away in her sleepy haze.

"It's all going to be fine." His voice was soft, like the coo of a morning songbird. "You're safe here with us. I'll help you."

 _Thank you, whatever your name is. You've stayed by my side this whole time, haven't you?_ Sango found her resistance ebbing away, and she was able to just slide back into the throes of deep, much-needed slumber.

* * *

"Alright, Miroku," Kagome poked her head back through the tent, "She's dressed again. You can come back inside."

He looked like he wanted to say something sarcastic as he returned inside, but he clearly saw the look in Kagome's eyes and thought better of it. _That's good,_ she thought, _because, right now, I don't know_ how _I would react to being challenged._

There was a sudden urge to cry that crawled its way from her lungs to her throat, and she swallowed with some difficulty.

"I'll be back in a moment," she said softly, "I need to get some fresh water from the spring. No doubt with the amount of wounded, we'll need it."

"Hurry back," Miroku said simply, gently, "I'm sure with the situation, we'll have to rely on your strength for a while yet. You're one of the few of us who escaped with hardly a scratch on you."

 _But why?_ It was one of the millions of questions and fears and harrowing thoughts whirling around in her brain.

She exited the tent, bucket in hand, and stopped several men outside, all of whom had that shellshocked, faraway look in their eyes, and asked them if Captain Okada had returned yet. The answers were all resounding negatives. Somehow she'd started to know they _would_ be.

She'd kept her defiance for the first several hours, refusing to entertain any doubts that he was just fine, only delayed somewhere.

And then the stream of wounded, broken men returning from the village massacre slowed to a trickle. And then stopped altogether. And still no word, no sign, no hint.

Crashing through the woods, feeling the underbrush scratching at her shins and forearms and not caring if it hurt one bit, she came to a stop at the spring. The spring where just earlier today she'd been so close to him, so overflowing with emotions at just his proximity to her. He'd given her a cloth to scrub the bloodstains from her body and had grumbled jokingly at her for taking too long.

"Okada," she felt herself whisper as she tumbled to her knees at the water's edge, the palms of her hands stinging when they slapped the rocks in front of her. She screwed her eyes shut and pictured his handsome face. Violet eyes, long black hair. Smirking at her when he knew she was looking, staring at her with unveiled pride when he thought she wasn't.

 _He can't be. He can't._

A sound emerged from her that sounded like a wheezing retch, and the pain of bitter realization came all at once. Her breath died in her throat, and she curled in on herself, her face pressed into the tops of her knees, struggling to find air, her fists grabbing wild handfuls of cool, damp grass in some vain effort to anchor herself to the earth.

"So, just a question," a voice grumbled behind her, "Are you actually physically incapable of following _one_ damn order when I give it, or do you just willfully ignore me?"

Kagome felt the air rush into her lungs in an obnoxious gasp, and she didn't think twice before shoving herself to her feet, whirling around, and throw her arms around him with an almost childlike wail.

* * *

 ** _Sniffle. Awwwwwwwwwwww._**

 ** _Sango seems to have a little crush on the wrong person, doesn't she? HA. Wait til she figures it out. It's gonna be great, guys. Also poor thing. She's just lost everything and that's going to really hit home in the next few chapters as she starts to recover a bit._**

 ** _Also poor Miroku. Getting cockblocked by someone completely unintentionally._**

 ** _I had fun writing Ayame in this chapter! She's so "NOTICE ME SENPAI" and I love it. Wonder if Kouga will ever get wise to how great she is? HA IT'S ME OF COURSE HE WILL BUT IT MIGHT TAKE A WHILE._**

 ** _First mention of Naraku in a long while...dun dun dun_**

 ** _This chapter is brought to you by "Oracle" by Timmy Trumpet because that's what I played on REPEAT when I was writing the village massacre scene._**

 ** _Love you guys! Review if you can. Some of you are already sharing theories and I'm loving it. Keep 'em coming! - meggz0rz_**


	9. Disappointments

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Nine**

 **DISAPPOINTMENTS**

* * *

Kagome just held him, pressed her face into his armored chest, her body shaking with sobs.

"I thought...I thought…" She couldn't even finish the sentence. Her arms linked around his neck, her fingers tangling in his dark hair.

After a moment, she felt strong hands gently take hold of her wrists and disentangle her from him.

 _Right. Here I go making a fool of myself again._ She felt the flush of shame overtake her face and stepped back. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Okada's handsome face was contorted into a look of obvious discomfort.

Kagome fought the urge to take another step backward. _Oh, gods, I'm so glad he's alright, but…_

She cleared her throat. "When you didn't come back," she said softly, trying to awkwardly wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks, "We all feared the worst."

"I was tracking the youkai after they turned tail and ran. _Someone_ had to," Okada spat, crossing his arms. "I still want you to answer my question. Why on earth should I keep you around and protect your secret if you're just going to disobey direct orders at every opportunity?"

"Did you see the white-haired one? The one that wasn't a wolf?" she asked, probably a little too eager to try and dodge his angry interrogation.

* * *

Inuyasha kept his face completely impassive, though it was a struggle. "White-haired one?" he said, feigning ignorance, "They all looked like wolf youkai to me. All dark-haired, except the female. She was a redhead."

"There was another one," she said softly, frowning at her hands, looking deep in thought for a moment before looking back up at him. "I fought him. Not for very long. He was _strong_ , Captain. Too strong. I don't know how we'll possibly stand a chance. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

Kagome furrowed her brow again, looking troubled and confused. "He _let_ me live," she said softly, "That's the only explanation. He could have cut my throat where I stood. But he didn't. And I have no idea why."

Her hand went to her wrist, which was coated with dried blood that he knew wasn't her own. She fingered the dark-red stains with a feather-light touch, the expression on her face both curious and terrified.

He flexed his own palm, long-since healed thanks to the demon within him, the demon that had been forcefully brought to the surface only hours before, the demon that now lay hidden within and dormant once more.

"I was right about one thing," she said, almost to herself, "About what youkai look like. Like _us,_ but just a little different."

Inuyasha knew that this conversation was getting a little too dangerous, so he decided to end it there and now. "They don't all look like that," he said shortly, "And no matter what they look like, no matter what you think you saw, the youkai will kill you as soon as look at you. Don't forget that."

 _Keep your mind on the business at hand. No more getting distracted in battle because you're worried about her. No more second-guessing the mission you've been trusted to do because you're scared of what will happen to her._

"And none of this would have even been an issue," he added with a growl, "If you'd listened to my orders and stayed _put._ "

Her distracted, almost dreamlike expression finally turned into one of shame, like he'd wanted from the beginning. _You idiot girl,_ he thought, finding the hurt in her expression both satisfying and irritating, _What would have happened if I'd been in my human form? If I hadn't changed back in time for Kouga to recognize me and defer to my orders? I would have had to stand there and watch you_ die.

"How did you even know…" she started to say, then at the look on his face, she immediately clammed up. She looked almost _scared_ of him.

 _Good. She_ should _be. And if she stays here much longer, if I can't keep myself under control, she_ will _be._ He just glared at her.

"Did you think I didn't _watch_ you run out of cover to pick a fight? Granted, I was busy fighting off a she-wolf, so if I'd stopped to watch you any longer than I _did_ , she'd have cleaved my head clean off." Of course it was a lie, but the sentiment behind it still stood. "Who ended up saving your ass?"

Kagome's reply was barely a whisper. "M-Miroku."

"Your monk friend, huh? Tell me something, what would you have done if _he'd_ been killed because you decided to play hero with no armor?"

The look on her face was heartbroken, like she was wondering why he was being like this. She'd looked so elated, so truly _relieved_ to see him, and here he was doing his level best to wipe that happy feeling out of her heart.

 _I will only ever hurt you. That's all I'm good for._ He swallowed and made himself continue, keeping the steely edge to his voice.

"I have absolutely no use for you if you're going to break rank and put yourself and others in danger," he said, his tone dead serious.

The stricken look on her face almost made him take it back. Almost.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, eyes shining with tears. She meant it, he knew. It didn't make him feel any better. "You're the last person I ever wanted...to disappoint…"

Inuyasha scoffed and turned his head away slightly to avoid her gaze, but couldn't resist watching out of the corner of his eye as she shakily wiped her face with her sleeve, clearly trying to appear strong in front of him.

And somehow, that little gesture set him off.

He strode forward and seized her in his arms, holding her so tightly he was probably hurting her.

* * *

Kagome inhaled sharply, with a small gasp, as his hand went beneath her chin, tilting her head backward. She felt his breath caress her cheek, and with an elated rush, she realized what was happening, and as if on instinct she clung to his sleeves and held him just as tightly as he was holding her.

 _So I wasn't wrong,_ her mind reeled, _There_ was _something there between us this whole time. I didn't misread at all, did I? What I've been...feeling...it wasn't just my crazy imagination. I wasn't wrong..._

It was as if they were on the precipice of something, something that had been building, a cauldron of water on the brink of boiling over. They stood there, clinging to each other almost helplessly, like each of them was holding the other upright and keeping them from collapsing to the ground.

Okada leaned in closer, his eyes dark in the moonlight, and he seemed to search her face for something. A cue, a hint.

She just gave him a small, hesitant smile.

* * *

" _Okada," she'd said. When she thought she was going to die, she thought of me. She was picturing_ my _face._

And then that familiar answer to such a statement as this, the one that kept rearing its ugly head and chilling his blood to think about.

 _It's not my face. It's not my face. It's not my face._

 _Let her go right now. Walk away._

But all it took was the sight of that weak, encouraging little smile, and Inuyasha knew he was going straight to hell. And probably not alone.

As if he wasn't consciously doing it, he watched his other arm slide up the back of her shoulders and come to rest at the base of her neck.

* * *

"Just once," Kagome thought she heard him whisper, but she couldn't be sure.

And then his lips crashed over hers, and her arms flew behind his head, yanking him closer as they both stumbled against the trunk of a tree.

She managed a small whimper, but that was the only sound she could get out as he growled low in his throat and lifted her a few inches off the ground to rest against his body. She felt his tongue teasing at the corners of her mouth and complied with the silent request, parting her lips to deepen the kiss.

It was as if Kagome's mind had gone completely blank, and all she saw was a white-hot light hovering behind her closed eyelids. She couldn't manage to think about how _relieved_ she felt at this whole new revelation, that he felt the same hunger she did when they looked at each other, that he'd likely been just as confused and unsure until this very moment. She couldn't even think about how the thought of losing him had nearly broken her, and that judging by his reaction to her disobedience of his order to stay out of the fray, he'd been just as frightened for _her._ All she could do was cling to him with sore, aching muscles and let him just hold her and make all the hurt go away. All she could do was _need_ him, and feel how much he seemed to need her.

It was enough to make her want to start crying again.

* * *

 _You fool. You damned, stupid fool. Stop right now. Let go of her and walk away and cool your head and try to forget this ever happened. Do her that favor._

Even as his own conscience screamed at him, Inuyasha resisted. _Just a moment longer,_ he argued back in his head, _One more kiss and then I'll let her go forever._

Finally, he physically had to drag his own head backward as he gently set Kagome back onto her feet.

 _Her face…_

She was smiling up at him so broadly, her eyes shining with affection as she stood on her tiptoes to nuzzle at his throat, planting a gentle kiss to his collarbone. He felt her cool panting breaths on his sweat-sheened skin and fought the urge to gather her back in his arms and start all over again.

"Wait," he managed to croak out, holding a hand up, struggling to catch his breath.

"I was right," she was saying with a satisfied grin, but not of arrogance or triumph, just pure happiness, "You - me - " She sighed, seemingly having as much trouble stringing a sentence together as he was, and moved to lay her head under his chin.

He stepped backward, ducking out of her reach gently. "We need to get back. They're looking for me, remember?" He kept his tone light; no need to let on that he felt like clawing his own eyes out for what he'd just allowed to happen, for what he'd just _done…_

Kagome blinked twice, a little surprised, maybe even a little confused, but she just smiled dreamily and nodded. "The men will be so happy to see you alive," she said.

 _Stop putting me on that pedestal, Kagome. Please, for both our sakes, stop it._

He allowed a small smile and a nod as he motioned for her to lead them out of the trees, back to the camp.

"We have a lot of wounded," she seemed to be saying over her shoulder, but he wasn't truly listening; his ears were ringing in his head and drowning out everything. He stared at the ground in front of him, his hands clenched into white-knuckled fists, as the true implications of what he'd just done hit him full-force.

 _Gods, I'm deceiving her in all of the worst ways. I have no right to even stand in_ front _of her, let alone…_

"Sir?" Kagome had stopped in front of him, and the look of concern she was giving him was clearly in reaction to whatever horrified face he was making to himself.

She looked almost nervous, like she thought _she herself_ could possibly be the reason for him looking so out of sorts. _Like I have any reason to regret what I just did besides the fact that I'm going to betray you and your entire kind and help destroy everything you care about. Besides the fact that you would never deign to even come_ near _me if you knew the truth._

"Listen," he said, running an awkward hand through his hair and still pointedly avoiding her gaze, "This, uh, this can't - what just happened, well…" He trailed off, knowing he sounded like an utter fool and hating himself all the more for it.

Kagome just shrugged. "Don't worry," she said brightly, absently picking at the hem of her oversized sleeve, "I'm not expecting special treatment or anything, if that's what you're worried about. I want you to treat me just like you always have. Otherwise, how will I ever get stronger?"

 _Stop talking like that. Stop acting like you have to live up to my expectations when you've already exceeded them and more, when my expectations should be the_ least _of your worries -_

Inuyasha just nodded with a quiet grunt and motioned for her to continue walking. She did so, flashing her beautiful smile at him before turning around.

He felt a clench in his abdomen and went right on hating himself for it.

 _This is not good. What have I done?_

* * *

Kagome fought to wipe the no doubt idiotic grin off her face as she re-entered the camp with Okada several paces behind. It was extremely difficult to do, especially as some of the men sitting around with despairing looks on their faces looked up and noticed them. Their hopelessness seemed to change into shock and relief all in unison as they stood and raced toward the approaching pair.

"Captain Okada! Gods, you're alright! We thought for sure you were done for!"

Okada took the attention in stride, greeting all the bedraggled and filthy soldiers with an affectionate smirk, clapping a few of them on the back and telling them they shouldn't have counted him out so easily.

Kagome fought the pounding of her heart and tried to keep her face still, tried to avoid clasping her hands to her chest and swooning like some silly child. She hadn't realized, even up until just a few moments ago, just what a foolish romantic idiot she became in Okada's presence. So many of the girls in her village had talked of love in such sweeping terms, and Kagome had never believed them. For her, it had never really been a notion; her class and family status had more or less determined from the first that it was _marriage_ that would come first, and then love. Nothing passionate or all-consuming, just a fine, steadfast affection that would carry her and her husband through life in relative happiness.

This, if it was indeed love, was entirely different. The sheer _want._ The _longing._ The desperation to be near him, and to make him proud of her, and to relish in the pride she had in him.

It was the stuff of fairy tales.

Kagome shook her head slightly, feeling her cheeks start to burn as she walked away from the gathering group of welcomers as casually as possible. She was surely getting carried away here. After all, she was only seventeen; perhaps wild flights of romantic fancy were just mandatory when you were this age?

"One thing," Okada called out, and she halted in her tracks, glancing over her shoulder at him expectantly, not sure how to keep from blushing bright pink once more.

Okada met her eyes only briefly before turning to the other men gathered around him. "Rich Boy here defied a direct order in the middle of battle. I think he needs a lesson in authority," he said sharply, "A day in isolation might do the trick."

Kagome opened her mouth to speak and found no words. She was almost immediately set upon by the group of men, seized by her arms and dragged backward toward the small, isolated tent at the back of the camp, reserved for when the officers wanted to set an example.

 _Wh-What?_

She sent Okada a fierce, outraged glare, and he simply sent her that infuriating smirk again.

"Let that be a lesson to all of you," he said loudly, "Anyone who disobeys orders gets a day to think over their poor decisions. No special treatment."

Kagome, struggling against the strength of the two men dragging her to her own private little prison for the day, sent him a look that she hoped would melt that grin right off his face.

No such luck.

 _You bastard. Why do I even like you, again?_

* * *

 ** _SHAZAM._**

 ** _I cannot begin to tell you how many times I wrote and rewrote that first kiss. It's very important for the rest of the story that I get it just right. For reasons. I had too many feels, too soon in the first few drafts._**

 ** _Poor Kagome. Anyone else remember being seventeen? When love was the OMG HOLY CRAP GREATEST THING EVER AND WOW I WILL NEVER EVER FEEL THIS STRONGLY ABOUT ANYTHING EVER AGAIN? Sighhh. The good old days. Now I just get my fix through writing wonderfully wish-fulfilling fanfics that would never ever happen this way in real life but it's fun to pretend that life being this dramatic and cray-cray would be a GOOD thing. Ya know. As you do._**

 ** _Inuyasha has it bad. And he feels just awful about it. AS YOU SHOULD, INUYASHA. YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD. THIS CAN ONLY END IN LOTS OF TEARS._**

 ** _Also way to throw her in the stocks, bro. That'll get the ladies loving you. Good job. Well done. Killin' it._**

 ** _Oh these two. What AM I going to do with them?_**

 ** _Well, you'll see! Tune in for the next chapter and find out!_**

 ** _As always, please review if you have the time. Thanks! - meggz0rz_**


	10. Punishments

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Ten**

 **PUNISHMENTS**

* * *

Sango sat up on the bedroll she'd been occupying for who-knew-how-long, hissing in pain as her arm was jostled slightly. She gave a tentative wiggle of her right fingers, and was nearly bowled over with pain, but she could move them. One less thing to worry about.

 _My father…_

She had to get up and see if he was alright. Surely he was among the wounded; he would have defended as many people as possible. At least until his loyal retainers, men Sango had known her entire life, had finally bodily dragged him out of the village. She felt the swelling of confident pride in her chest even as her scorched arm was making her want to pass out again.

Kicking the blanket off her lap, she tried to roll onto her knees to stand up, and nearly pitched forward onto her face. The milk of the poppy was still coursing through her system (and thank the gods for it; it was the only reason she wasn't screaming right now), that had to be it.

 _Also, having a completely dead and useless arm is probably throwing off my center of balance._ The thought was bitter and angry, and she closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm herself.

The tent flap opened. Sango looked up, expecting to see the boy about her age she'd been speaking to earlier, the one with such beautiful, kind eyes, but instead she was staring into the face of a man five to ten years older, with dark hair pulled into a low ponytail at the base of his skull. He wore tattered monk's robes, and the look he was giving her was half-bewildered, half-impressed.

"Who are you?" she muttered hazily, still struggling to get to her feet.

He just sighed, seemingly a little exasperated. "Of course you don't remember me," he said, with a humorless chuckle as he approached her, dropping to his knee in front of her so they were eye-level, "We _did_ meet, Lady Sango. Only briefly, but still."

Sango narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "I don't remember you," she said dismissively, struggling to summon strength into her thigh muscles so she could stand up, _just stand up._

"Of course you don't. I'm of next to no importance. But I do know one thing," the monk said, gently taking her by the shoulders and attempting to lay her back down, "You're in absolutely _no_ condition to try walking around right now."

Sango winced at the gentle pressure on her right shoulder and would have slapped at him if her arm had been willing to cooperate. "Let go of me!" she snarled, pushing at him with her left hand and trying to bat him backward, "How dare you _touch_ me!"

"As much as I'm enjoying this," the monk smirked, "I really do have other patients to tend to. Am I going to have to knock you out, or will you lay still and rest?"

Sango growled in outrage, but the gentle push downward was too much for her to overpower in this state she was in. "My father," she said finally, turning her head to stare at the canvas wall, "The village leader. Is he among the wounded?"

She heard him shift his weight behind her, and when she glanced back towards him he was standing again. "I can't say for sure," he said, his tone grave and respectful, "but if you promise to stay put, I'll ask around for you, alright?"

"Alright."

"I need your promise, Lady Sango."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. The monk gave her a distant, friendly smile and shrugged. "...I promise," she said, her voice a creaky whisper as she sank back into her pillow, ignoring the way her entire body seemed to cry out in thanks at the reclining position once more.

The monk nodded and turned to leave.

"Wait," Sango called, shoving herself upright on her good elbow, "Who changed my clothes?"

He halted, giving her a pained smile that threatened to make her turn bright red with embarrassment.

"Y-You?" she mumbled.

"No," he said with a smirk, "Not me. That would be Sota. You may remember him. That would be just my luck."

She wasn't quite sure what he meant by that, but her thoughts went to the young, clear-faced boy that had so gently cleaned her wounds and eased her pain these last several hours. _Sota,_ she thought.

Suddenly, the tent flap opened again, and in strode a tall, handsome man with long black hair. At the sight of him, the monk's jaw dropped open in alarm. "Captain Okada?" he stammered, "You're alive!"

"Of course I am," the newcomer grumbled, "Why is everyone so surprised at that fact?" He leveled his eyes on Sango and raised an irritated eyebrow. "And who the hell is _this_?"

The monk seemed to take a small, halting step between Sango and this Captain Okada, as if he were _protecting_ her from something. "This is Sango, Captain," the monk said quickly, "Daughter of the village leader. She was the one who opened the gates to even allow us to defend the village in the first place. All the survivors among the citizens owe their lives to her."

"Doesn't explain why she's in _my_ tent," Okada snapped, "I'm a little exhausted, if you must know."

"Sir," the monk stepped closer to the young captain, lowering his voice a little, as if Sango couldn't already hear everything that was going on, "With the men in the camp, you have to see the necessity of keeping a girl like this away from the rest of the unit. Especially people like that Sanada character."

"Put her with the other women and children." Okada folded his arms impatiently.

"None of them are wounded, sir. The surviving women and children, I mean. She'd have to go into the medical tent with the rest of the men."

Sango fancied herself a very perceptive girl, and she certainly didn't miss the way Okada seemed to flinch back at the idea of a lone, attractive female in the camp. Suddenly she was a little more grateful for how that Sota boy had seemed to ensure her wellbeing.

She jumped in surprise at the mention of the very name in her thoughts.

"Have you seen Sota?" The monk glanced warily over his shoulder at Sango, who felt herself blush slightly. "He'll be glad to know you're back. Poor kid was beside himself. Guess he hero-worships you."

"Sota's going to be a little busy for the next twenty-four hours," Okada growled, "A day in isolation. Punishment for defying a direct order."

"What?" The monk looked shocked and not a little outraged. Sango furrowed her brow.

"Any objections?" Okada seemed to be looking for a challenge. Sango knew this man's type well. Seemingly always spoiling for a fight. She gave a small, irritated sigh.

The monk hesitated, then shook his head, still looking stern. "No, sir."

"Good," Okada said dismissively, waving a hand at Sango, "Now take her wounded ass out of here. And get me a new bedroll."

"But sir," the monk started to protest, and Okada held up a hand to cut him off.

"If you're so worried about her chastity, _you_ take charge of her, monk. Tell the men to move supplies out of a corner of one of the storage tents. You can put her there and guard her to your heart's content."

* * *

"Can you guys loosen these up, just a _little?_ " Kagome knew she sounded whiny, but the bindings around her wrists were starting to cut off the blood flow to her hands. She sat tied around a post in the center of the isolation tent, arms behind her back, hair hanging wildly around her shoulders with nothing she could do about it.

"Quit your crying," a very unsympathetic voice sounded through the tent flap, "It won't hurt if you don't move. Or talk."

Kagome fell silent, clenching her jaw and staring into her own lap.

 _Guess I should be careful the way I word things from now on,_ she thought bitterly _, I asked him for no special treatment, didn't I? I just was foolish enough to think that meant that after kissing me in the woods, after holding me like he never wanted to let go, he might not actually just throw me into military prison to save face. Stupid me._

The kiss came flooding back into her mind all at once, and she leaned her head back against the post, closing her eyes. Were kisses always like that, she wondered, feeling her heart start to pound again at just the thought of it. Did they always make one want to just...collapse? To fall into the other person and forget all sense of self and just _melt_ into a single wild soul?

She gave a small, silent shiver. Her skin was already flushed, but now she was starting to burn up.

This was going to be a long twenty-four hours, wasn't it?

"I have to pee," she shouted petulantly through the tent flap.

There was no answer.

She sighed, rolling her eyes and leaning back again.

 _Damn you, Okada. You could have just given me more laps and been done with it._

* * *

Inuyasha was finally alone at last in his tent, free to basically _peel_ his armor off himself and revel in what little cool air there was on his skin. He unceremoniously collapsed backward onto his bedroll, his black hair sticking to his face and collarbone, and closed his eyes.

Kagome had been very surprised at his actions just a few moments ago, that was certain. And the _look_ she'd given him...she was angry. Very angry.

But what choice did he have? It was either raise suspicion by having her casting lovesick glances in his direction all the day long, or let her know in no uncertain terms that he'd meant what he'd said - that nothing had changed with that kiss in the woods.

 _Liar. Everything's changed and you know it._ _And it's all your fault._

Good, then. Let her hate him for this. Let her be so angry that she gave him a wide berth from now on. That would solve all the problems Inuyasha had just made for himself. For _both_ of them.

He sighed, covering his eyes with the back of his forearm, as he pictured her beautiful blue eyes, narrowed at him in hurt and confusion as she was taken away.

It was with this unsettling image in his mind that he finally let himself drift off to sleep.

* * *

"Sorry about all this," Miroku said sheepishly as he knelt to lay Sango back onto her bedroll. They were now safely in the storage tent, and he'd taken pains to ensure that she was hidden behind a large pile of blankets and storage chests. Better safe than sorry, especially if he couldn't always be there to protect her.

Sango only nodded mutely, sliding her good arm from around his shoulders so as to brace herself on the ground. Miroku fought back a pout. It had been nice to be once again embraced by a woman this beautiful, even under such dire circumstances. And she smelled wonderful, even though by all reasoning she _shouldn't_.

"I - I have to go now, Lady Sango," he found himself stuttering like a foolish boy, "Will you be alright for a few hours while I go help some of the men?"

"Will you look for my father?" she asked, finally looking him square in the face. Her eyes were large and brown and so very sincere, so very hopeful.

"Of course I will," he promised, though in the back of his mind he felt a nagging feeling of dread. Surely if the village leader had been among the wounded, he would have heard by now. This situation kept getting worse all the time.

"Thank you…" she said softly, wincing as she picked up her ruined right arm and physically set it atop her own body.

"Miroku," he said, "My name is Miroku, Lady Sango. Do you promise to remember me now?" His smile was kind, and it spoke of comfort she wasn't used to.

She gave a small, pained chuckle and nodded as her eyes closed again.

* * *

"Two hundred and five, two hundred and six…"

The tent flap opened after what must have been hours, and a nameless grunt hunched inside, holding a plate of that same old watery stew.

"Damn!" Kagome swore, sending him a fiery glare as he kicked up the blades of straw on the floor in front of her, "I lost count!" She would have to start all over, she thought glumly as she watched the straw settle to the earth again.

The man just rolled his eyes at her and slid the stew toward her lap.

"Um," Kagome raised an eyebrow, gesturing with her head toward her bound hands, "How am I supposed to - "

The man wordlessly loosened her bindings and left the tent, but not without a stern warning that if she tried anything _funny_ she'd get another day added to her sentence, no questions asked.

Sighing with relief as she flexed her freed wrists, Kagome picked up the stew and slurped it hungrily, straight from the dish. As used as she was to actual good food, with her oh-so-comfortable upbringing and all, she had realized over the last few months that hunger, true hunger, always won out over any finicky habits she might have had before. She felt the watery broth slop down her chin, and wiped it away with her sleeve as she finished the food off.

"Finished," she called out to no one in particular, sending the dish sliding back along the ground toward the tent opening.

The gruff soldier came back inside to collect the bowl, and she gave him her best friendly smile.

"Listen," she tried, holding her hands up in mock surrender, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm taking my punishment on the chin here. So can you give me a break on the whole bound-hands thing?"

Her answer was a backhanded slap to the face that made her vision go fuzzy for a moment. The soldier re-tied her arms, even _tighter_ this time. Her shoulders ached in protest.

As he exited the tent without a word, Kagome sent a fierce glare to his retreating back, sticking her lip out in a childish pout.

 _Well, it was worth a try, anyway._

She wiggled in her seated position to ease the pressure on her arms as much as possible, blew a lock of stray hair out of her face, and set her eyes to the straw-covered ground once more.

"One...two...three…"

* * *

"Captain," Naito acknowledged Inuyasha with a brief nod as he entered the map tent, "Glad to see you back amongst us."

"Glad to be back," Inuyasha said with a smirk.

Naito returned his attention to the rest of the officers as they all leaned over the large table, covered with a detailed map of the region.

"We have to take the Taijiya survivors somewhere they can be safe," Naito said, pointing to a small settlement further up the mountain pass. "I think here, yes?"

Inuyasha, as usual, was taking careful mental notes as he nodded. _Way up in high altitudes,_ he thought, _less air for the humans to breathe. Less energy to fight back._

Normally the news would have been exciting. But every time he blinked he kept seeing a flash of angry blue eyes, and it was ruining his good mood.

"We'll pause there," Naito continued, "and send word to the daimyo. He's been wanting to pay a visit to the troops, and after this travesty of a battle, they could use some reminders of what they're fighting for."

"Sir," another officer said, looking a little worried, "That could be weeks of us just waiting in that mountain village for him to arrive. What can we do to track the wolf youkai in the meantime?"

"I tried," Inuyasha muttered, "They were heading back east. Back to their stronghold, no doubt. I don't think following them would be worth it right now."

Naito gave Inuyasha a warm, grateful smile. "Thank you for trying, anyhow. I can always count on you to take on the dangerous tasks yourself. Don't think we all aren't grateful."

 _Please stop thanking me._ Inuyasha could only nod in acknowledgment and return his attention to the business at hand.

* * *

Ayame was delighted to be home.

Well, not that this was _exactly_ home. This wasn't her place of birth, wasn't where her clan had raised families for generations. _That_ place was one she'd dreamed of, that they'd all been promised would be returned to them at the end of all this.

But this was close enough for now. A cave in a mountainside, with warm fires, comfortable furs everywhere, and the company of the one man she'd go to hell and back for.

Almost as if he'd read her thoughts, Kouga reached out and ruffled her hair with a friendly smile. She fought the urge to grab hold of his arm and hug him close as she returned the grin.

"I'm _starving,_ " she said brightly, "Should I go hunt some dinner?"

"You go ahead," Kouga said, as Ginta and Hakkaku rushed past them into the cave entrance, no doubt seeking out their females for a happy reunion.

With a small disappointed huff of breath, Ayame continued into the cave, finding her bedroll just where she'd left it and leaving her weapons and travel gear on top of it in a heap. She'd made sure her place was right near where Kouga slept (it wasn't too difficult, since he'd taken charge of her in his early teens and so had always slept in the same room with him without much fuss or discussion), and so when she heard him moving behind her she wasn't surprised.

Glancing over her shoulder, she watched him toss his own pack down the same way she had. The muscles in his arms rippled as he heaved a great sigh and stretched before crouching to sort through all his belongings.

Ayame felt her heart swell with longing, and she bit her lip silently, knowing she was staring but unable to help it.

Someday, he would know. He would realize. And she'd be there, waiting.

 _Right?_

"Lord Kouga, you're back!" He was enveloped from behind with hugs to the sound of thrilled laughter.

Females. Older females, technically higher in the pecking order than she was. Ayame didn't care. She growled low in her throat and sank to a guarded crouch on her bedroll.

Kouga was clearly enjoying the attention. Of course he was. As pack leader, he was the prime target for the females, especially since it was rare for an alpha to stay unmated for long.

One of the females, a silvery-haired, curvaceous one, suddenly noticed Ayame, sitting there with her back against the stone cave wall and glaring daggers at all of them. Her mouth twisted in a cruel smile, and she leaned in to Kouga's ear and whispered, "How cute. Your little pup is _jealous_ , Lord Kouga."

At that, Kouga craned his head from between the attentive females and his eyes met Ayame's. For a second, his brow furrowed with what almost looked like concern, or pity, or something else, but then he just gave her a small shrug and that same familial smile he'd always given her.

Ayame felt her face start to burn with embarrassment as the trio of female wolf youkai tittered with laughter and settled themselves around Kouga's bedroll, all saying how eager they were to hear about his mission to the human village, and was he hurt, and how many humans had he killed…

 _I'm not a child anymore,_ Ayame thought bitterly, _I haven't been for a while. And you_ know _that, Kouga. Otherwise you wouldn't ask_ me _to come along on missions; you'd leave me with the old mothers like you did when I was little._

With a haughty sniff, she immediately stood from her crouch and turned to her pack, fishing out her spare furs. The ones she was wearing were smoke-tinged and bloodstained, and not at all suitable to start a hunt with, not if she wanted to catch anything off guard.

With a single, fierce glance back at Kouga sitting there with his stupid _harem_ of women, she stripped her old furs from her body right then and there. Humming to herself, she took her sweet time pulling on the new fur skirt and top, and without turning around, she knew they were all staring.

 _See you later, Kouga. I've got some hunting to do._

With her head held high and a mischievous smile on her face, she all but skipped back to the cave entrance.

And nearly collided with a male youkai about two feet taller than she was. She opened her mouth to apologize, but found that words were failing her. She sniffed. Not a wolf. Not a dog. Something unfamiliar. Dark hair, darker eyes, and a smile that she knew was probably intended to be friendly but just came off as terrifying.

"My apologies, miss," the stranger said, reaching out a hand to caress her cheek.

Immediately, all of her fears, all of her hesitation, washed away, and she felt herself lean into his touch, eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment.

"Is Lord Kouga here?" His voice was soft and comforting now, like the whispered stories Kouga had told her when they were both younger and he'd let her sleep beside him. Ayame just placed a clawed hand over the stranger's hand to hold it to her face and nodded dreamily.

At her actions, the strange youkai smiled again, almost lovingly.

"Will you tell him that Naraku is here to speak to him?"

* * *

 _ **UH OH. UH OH.**_

 _ **I just LOVE that all three couples (so far) have such different vibes going.**_

 _ **InuKag are like "Wahhhh I love you so much but we shouldn't OH YES WE SHOULD no we shouldn't OH GOD MY FEELINGS HALP".**_

 _ **MirSan are like "Hey, sup. I'm Miroku and I'm crushing on you but also you've just been through a crazy traumatic experience plus you also might kinda like my friend instead of me. Hmph".**_

 _ **And Ayame's just here to strip naked and strut around like a badass. YOU SHOW THOSE OTHER LADIES, AYAME. GETCHA BOI. There's a lot of wolf pack mentality written into their interactions, obviously. ;)**_

 _ **WELCOME TO THE STORY NARAKU YOU EVIL BASTARD. This version will be somewhat different than his manga/anime counterparts for story reasons, but I hope you guys enjoy him. He's kinda fun because I'm super twisted, like.**_

 _ **ALSO, my baby sister and I have compiled an Oblivion YouTube playlist if you guys are interested! I'll post the link in my profile if you wanna check it out. Expect angsty pop songs and moody instrumentals. I have a vibe to stick to, dammit! More songs will be added as we think of them. :)**_

 _ **Thanks again for reading all my randomness! Love you guys! - meggz0rz**_


	11. Decoys

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Eleven**

 **DECOYS**

* * *

"Rich Boy!"

Kagome grunted as she was kicked awake. Her neck and shoulders immediately tensed up in pain as she tilted her head up groggily. "Wha - "

The sentry who'd been her unwilling company this last day and night was roughly untying her hands once again and flinging her forward to catch herself. "Owww," she mumbled. Her arms were going to be sore for the next day and a half, at least. _Guess that means I'll have to skip training,_ again. The thought further angered and frustrated her.

 _Okada, you bastard,_ she cursed him silently for what must have been the thousandth time, _you didn't have to pick a punishment that would utterly cripple me._

But then again, maybe that had been the idea. Kagome knew herself well enough to know she'd just have treated extra laps or more training the way she always did - like a game, a challenge to herself to become stronger. By depriving her of her body's physical well-being, Okada was making his point better than she'd expected.

And she understood his point. She _had_ put people in danger by rushing into battle without armor, without any thought that there were at least two people in camp who cared enough about her to endanger themselves to save her. She had defied a direct order, and that was an enormous mistake in a situation like this.

So she understood. It didn't mean she had to _like_ it.

Part of her, some foolish portion of her hopeless romantic's brain, had almost expected Okada to be the one to free her. That he would want to do it personally, to reassure her that she was still on his mind even when he had to play the part of tough commanding officer.

She'd hoped for too much. As she _always, always_ did.

"Go get yourself cleaned up, brat," the soldier said as he turned to leave, "And get packed. Captain's orders, we're shipping out in the morning."

"Where are we going?"

But he was already gone.

Kagome scoffed and shakily stood up, rubbing at the raw skin on her wrists. "Why are men such _bastards?_ " she muttered to herself.

She wondered half-heartedly, as she stepped out into the darkness and campfire lights, if she should look for Okada first and ask him what was going on and where they all were going.

But then she decided that she really didn't feel like talking to him right now, and so it was off toward the medical tent she went.

* * *

"Miroku!"

Miroku looked up at the familiar voice and smiled, continuing with his work changing bandages on a random soldier's arm. "Back from disobedience jail, I see."

Sota grinned and nodded, retying his scraggly hair back into its typical topknot. "Guess I had it coming. Thanks for coming after me, by the way. I don't know if I ever said that."

"You didn't, but I felt your undying gratitude all the same," Miroku fastened the bandage in place and turned in his seat to face the younger boy, "Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't end up right there next to you. I defied orders to go back in and retrieve your scrawny ass."

Sota chuckled softly and picked up a strip of cloth, taking a seat near another soldier's bedside and starting to assist with bandage changes. "You didn't defy one of Captain _Okada's_ orders, though. Entirely different matter."

Miroku watched the boy's smile fade slowly into a clenched line. He wondered if he was pushing his luck asking the next question, but he decided to ask it anyway. Living safely was a nice thought, but only applied if one wasn't in the midst of a war that would likely end in a quick and painful death one way or another.

"I guess your reunion with our favorite captain didn't go the way you wanted, huh?"

Sota's head snapped up to glare at him. The boy's cheeks were flushing pink. "I don't know _what_ you're talking about," he said through gritted teeth.

"Neither do I," Miroku said with a smirk, "Ignore me, kid."

"I heard we're shipping out soon?" Sota seemed very eager to change the subject.

"Dropping the Taijiya survivors in a mountain village about a day's ride from here. Leaving tomorrow at dawn. That's all I know."

"What happened to the girl? Sango?"

Miroku felt his shoulders slump ever so slightly. "Had to move her to the storage tent. Keep her safe from unsavory characters amongst us."

Sota nodded sagely. "Probably smart. Of course, _you're_ still hanging around, so the poor girl's probably in just as much danger." He laughed under his breath and grabbed a new bandage, moving on to the next person in need.

 _Why does everyone keep saying that?_ Miroku frowned. Of course, he knew why; he'd told many a tale of his past conquests over the campfire, and most of them were even true. And then the whole protective-lover vibe he'd established to give Sota a helping hand had certainly come back to bite him. Among the camp now, he was nothing short of a sexual deviant.

Which, given his colored past, wasn't _that_ far off, but still!

Sango was singularly innocent, very sweet, and very broken. Normally that would have been like bait on a hook for him, something to seduce and conquer.

But for some irritating reason (maybe it was those large brown eyes and that defiant look she gave when insisting she could take care of herself), all he wanted to do with Sango was make her _like_ him.

Shaking his head slightly, Miroku tried to resume his focus on the task at hand, but not before glancing over at Sota, who was smiling at him in a very teasing manner that made him a little angry.

"You don't have to be here," Miroku snapped under his breath, "Go get some rest. You must be exhausted after spending the night in prison."

Sota tied off the bandage in his hands and stood up. "Alright," he said jovially, "I think I will. Can I use your bedroll? It's in the storage tent too, isn't it?"

"Go fuck yourself."

Sota laughed and exited the tent.

Miroku tried to continue applying medicinal herbs to more burns, and after a few moments he scowled and sat back, running a hand over his face.

 _On that note, I think I'm done for the day too._

Was that really true, or was he just wary about leaving Sota and Sango alone together?

He decided that line of questioning wasn't worth exploring. He'd had enough time for introspection and self-examination at the monastery. Enough to last him a lifetime.

"It's all yours," he called to the other medics, and he left without waiting for a reply.

* * *

"Lord Kouga?"

Ayame's voice. She'd come right back. Kouga sat up in his bedroll (having shooed all the persistent females away almost immediately after Ayame's little display distracted him beyond comprehension) and glanced over his shoulder in the direction of her voice.

She stood there, hands clasped in front of her, an easygoing, sweet smile on her face.

She wasn't alone.

"Lord Naraku is here to speak to you."

Kouga shot to his feet. "Lord Naraku," he said, bowing, "this is an unexpected pleasure."

Naraku smiled kindly from his position just behind Ayame's shoulder. "Likewise, Lord Kouga. It's good to see you all alive and well after such a grueling mission." He looked around the wolf cave with mild interest. "This is quite an interesting tribal set-up. You _must_ explain it to me sometime."

Kouga swallowed. "Are you here for the weapons, Lord Naraku?" He didn't feel like giving a grand tour. Especially with the way Ayame was gazing at Naraku with a dreamlike smile, fidgeting with her skirt and blushing.

"I am indeed."

Kouga called Ginta and Hakkaku, who dragged the weapons into the main chamber with gritted teeth, struggling under the weight once more.

Naraku almost _floated_ over to them, running a pale, clawed hand over the surface of a giant boomerang. There was awkward silence as Ginta and Hakkaku sent Kouga unsure looks, and he just shrugged and folded his arms. _Let him take them. It's not like we know what use they have._

Quick as a flash, Naraku bit the skin of his own thumb and allowed a drop of blood to splash onto the boomerang's surface. It landed and rolled off onto the ground.

With a quiet sigh, the soft smile still on his face, Naraku stepped backward, turning back to Kouga.

"These weapons are fakes."

Kouga frowned. "What?"

"You were tricked, it seems," Naraku said mildly, though his eyes were cold as ice, "I suppose you'll just have to go back and look a little harder."

"But sir," Hakkaku said hesitantly, "We burned the whole _village_ down. If there were any more weapons there, we'd have - "

Naraku rounded on the young wolf youkai, and suddenly Hakkaku seemed frozen stiff with speechless fear. Kouga fought a growl simmering in his chest and spoke quickly. "Lord Naraku," he said authoritatively, "You told us - a boomerang, a sword, a staff, and a bow. We found them in the temple, as you expected we would."

"Oh, you got the general shapes and sizes right," Naraku turned away from Hakkaku and gave Kouga another smile, "But the true weapons would be _radiating_ energy. I don't feel any from these, do you?"

Kouga had to admit he didn't. Ginta and Hakkaku looked incredibly frightened and guilty.

"Clever decoys," Naraku mused, "I suppose I underestimated human cleverness. Such resourceful vermin they can be."

"We'll go back," Kouga decided. "One of the village survivors likely has the real weapons hidden."

"I would think so, yes," Naraku said softly, turning to Ayame and stroking a gentle finger under her chin. Ayame just smiled, leaning into the touch and closing her eyes.

Kouga fought back another growl. The rumors of Naraku's poisonous touch were all that were in his mind, and he forced himself to remain motionless as he watched the dark-haired youkai's sharp claws gently tickling at Ayame's throat. She visibly shivered, though it didn't seem to be from fear, and Kouga felt a sharp pain in his chest.

"Such a beautiful girl," Naraku said, his eyes looming all over Ayame's face and body as he continued to graze his fingers over her throat, "Yours, Lord Kouga?"

 _Yes_ , Kouga had the impulse to say but didn't. "Her name is Ayame," he ground out through gritted teeth.

"Ayame," Naraku nodded agreeably, then leaned in closer to her, his face inches from hers. Ayame looked positively elated at his attentions, and Kouga wanted to punch a hole in the wall for reasons unknown. "Ayame, my darling girl, will you help Lord Kouga retrieve the true weapons this time? You look so capable. You'll know the right ones, won't you?"

Ayame gave a small, aroused whimper as she nodded, and Kouga felt his vision go white for a moment before he shook himself out of it.

"Excellent," Naraku said, releasing her with a final caress of her face and turning to leave again. "I suggest, Lord Kouga, that you contact Prince Inuyasha this time. Perhaps his time amongst the humans will have given him some hints as to the weapons' location."

Kouga scoffed, but nodded. Ayame stood there, facing him, her eyes full of a mixture of lust and unbridled terror as she seemed to react to Naraku's sudden absence from her vicinity. It was an awful sight.

"Give my best to Prince Sesshomaru, will you?" Kouga knew his tone was snappish but didn't much care.

Naraku, at the entrance to the cave, turned around just briefly with a smirk. "Of course I will. You know how proud he'll be when you actually complete your mission. Thank you for all your service."

And he was gone.

* * *

"You're Sota, right?"

Kagome looked up at the voice as she entered the storage tent. Sango was sitting up in her bedroll. She seemed to have rifled through Miroku's pack in her spare time, since she had one of his worn tomes of poetry open on her lap. The smile Sango was giving her was dazzling; she really was a very pretty girl.

"Yes," Kagome said, returning the smile and gingerly sitting down atop Miroku's bedroll, which she noted was a good six feet away from Sango's and blocked off with a pile of blankets and various piles of storage containers. _Hmm,_ she mused inwardly, _I guess a tiger_ can _change its stripes, once in a while._

"I remember you," Sango's voice was soft, "You were the one who helped me...after…"

"Not just me," Kagome corrected, "Miroku was there too."

"Yes," Sango said, "but it's _your_ face I remember. Thank you. Really."

Kagome swallowed awkwardly. "You're welcome. I'm glad to see you're feeling a bit better. How's your arm?"

Sango glanced downward, then quickly looked back at Kagome, like she really didn't want to look too closely. "I'll live," she said simply.

"You can still move it?"

A nod. "It hurts to do so, but I can move it."

"Good," Kagome said, "I think that's a sign you'll be back to normal soon enough." _Not that I know much about that sort of thing. I didn't get out much before all this craziness happened._

"Not soon enough," Sango's eyes took on a darker look as she gazed off at the tent wall, "Never soon enough."

 _This poor girl. Lost everything she's ever known in the matter of a day._ Kagome felt her own fury welling up at the monsters who'd done this. Hopefully she'd get to exact a little timely revenge soon enough. She laid back on the bedroll and stared at the tent ceiling, folding her arms behind her head.

"Evening," Miroku said, almost rushing into the tent, and Kagome suppressed a knowing smile, right before a heavy bedroll was flung into her stomach, making her grunt in surprise. "That's for you, Sota. You forgot yours."

Without a word, Kagome sat upright, curling her arms around the bedroll and resting her chin on it with a huge grin in his direction.

Miroku seemed to pointedly take no notice of her teasing and nudged her with his foot to scoot off his spot.

"Wait," Sango said, looking crestfallen, "Sota's not - _leaving_ , right?"

Kagome's grin faded into an awkward grimace. _This sounds a little like this girl is..._ interested _in me._ Flattering, she supposed, but _still._

Miroku sighed, giving Kagome a very pointed glare. "No," he ground out between his teeth, "He's not."

"I'm not?"

He gave her a dull look that told her to pipe down, and she felt a laugh start deep in her belly and nearly had to pinch herself to stop it.

"No," Miroku said, turning to Sango with a kind smile, "He's going to stay here with us, too. I know you'd probably like that, right?"

Sango blushed. Miroku looked crestfallen.

Kagome stood up. As amusing as it was, watching a ladies' man (like Miroku professed to be) turn all pouty when he wasn't getting attention from a woman, this whole situation was just getting _awkward_ for her. "I think I'm alright, thanks."

"Nonsense," Miroku said grumpily, "Sango _wants_ you here, kid. In fact, take my spot. I'll move to the far corner over here, where no one has to look at me."

 _So sulky._ Kagome fought the urge to roll her eyes at this dramatic statement.

"Wait," Sango said, holding up a hand to stop him and wincing from the effort, "Miroku."

The sheer elation on his face at the sound of his name from her lips. Kagome smiled behind the rolled-up bedroll.

"Did you find my father?"

Kagome felt her stomach drop. _Oh gods...she doesn't_ know? She felt herself slump back down into a seated position atop Miroku's bedroll, hugging the cloth in her hands over her face.

* * *

As always, Sango was perceptive.

And even as Miroku told her he hadn't been able to find anything out, with a very apologetic look on his face, Sango was watching Sota. Watching his eyes widen in shock and very apparent horror. Watching him crumble back to the ground and hide his face.

 _Oh gods, no. No. No. No. NO._

"S-Sota," she whispered, feeling her heartbeat increase as her extremities started to feel numb and shaky.

He turned to face her, his brow knit together as if in pain, his giant blue eyes shining with pity. He looked like he wanted to speak, but nothing was coming out.

Sango lunged forward from her seated position, grabbing onto the boy's wrist tightly. "Please," she said softly, "I need to hear it. You need to tell me."

Sota looked like he was fighting back tears (and what a wonderful, kind, sweet person he clearly was, to _feel_ so much on her account) as he swallowed, seeming to search for the proper words.

"You saw him," Sango said, barely able to speak the words, not wanting it to be _real._

"I saw him," Sota said finally, his voice a hoarse whisper, "They interrogated him. And he was brave to the very last."

"How did it happen?" Sango knew her tone was demanding and harsh, but Sota didn't seem to notice.

"It...it was quick," Sota said, "I don't think he felt any pain. He didn't suffer."

The tears came in harsh, hyperventilating gasps, and Sango doubled over, struggling for breath.

She felt two lithe, soft arms loop around her shoulders, and gratefully, she crashed her face into Sota's chest, crying into the folds of his shirt and clutching at him, trying to find an anchor, trying to hold herself upright.

"He gave them nothing," Sota said, his voice shaking, and she knew he was crying for her too, "He delayed the youkai, kept their attention off of the rest of your people. He protected you and your secret. He kept the weapons safe. He died a _hero_ , Sango."

Sango opened her eyes and stared wildly beyond Sota's shoulders. Miroku just stood there, looking stunned and mournful and unsure of what to do. She buried her face in the folds of Sota's shirt once more and let out a muted wail.

She had nothing now. No family, no _home._ Only these two sympathetic strangers and a burned, injured arm.

"When you ship out," she muttered to both of them and to no one all at the same time, "I'm coming with you."

Sota pulled away from her, looking surprised and a little hesitant, casting a questioning look at Miroku. "I don't know if…" he trailed off.

Miroku sank to his knees in front of Sango, and she felt him take her hand. His grip was warm.

"I'll ensure that it happens," he said, his face full of solemn determination. "You deserve all the retribution in the world."

Sango crumpled into tears again, and the three of them stayed there in place for a long while, in that dingy corner of the storage tent, in an awkward three-way hug. She felt both men's hands on her shoulders, stabilizing her as she let out what seemed to be every tear left in her body.

 _Thank you. Thank you both._

* * *

Dawn.

Inuyasha had been up for hours, of course. Trying to sleep and failing utterly.

Kagome had been released from solitary hours ago, but he hadn't seen her at all, even when he'd made a point to show up for dinner instead of ordering food brought to his tent. The monk hadn't shown up, either. _Obviously a little preoccupied with the cute village girl,_ he thought with a smirk.

So then where was Kagome the whole time? Probably right in there with them; the monk was her closest friend in camp, after all.

He'd half expected her to come charging in as soon as she was let out, angrily demanding to speak to him about his actions. He'd prepared an entire series of speeches to shoot her down. To make her leave him be. Life as a human was confusing enough without her pretty blue eyes muddling it all up.

And then she hadn't shown up.

She'd done this same thing to him before, when he'd refused to give her private sword lessons; when he pushed her away, she _respected_ it.

It made him angrier than if she'd defied him again.

With a scoff to himself, he dressed in his armor and threw his immediate necessities into his bedroll to carry with him. The lower-ranked soldiers would pack the remainder of his tent and set it up for him when he needed it. Yet another perk of being an officer.

"Are the men ready to go yet?" he barked at the first ranked man he saw. The soldier in question nodded emphatically, clearly a little wary of his obvious temper so early in the morning, and pointed toward the ridge, where his small regiment of dead-last recruits were all waiting on horseback, their tents and bedrolls packed onto their saddles.

Without a word, Inuyasha strode toward them and, after fastening his bedroll to his horse, jumped onto the white stallion's back and grabbed the reins.

 _Ah,_ there _she is._ Kagome was seated atop her own dapple grey steed, staring at her own hands holding the reins, looking very deep in thought indeed. She looked well and truly humbled, and for a moment Inuyasha felt that nagging stab of ferocious guilt before he shook it off and shouted the procession onward.

As they rode toward the snowy mountains in the distance, he found himself continuing to glance backward in her direction (under the guise of scanning the rest of the men, of course). Not once was she ever looking at him in return. Wait...had she been _crying?_

Inuyasha was possessed by the sudden, aching need to talk to her. Even if it made her hate him all the worse.

But he could only growl under his breath and endure the rest of the long ride. They had to reach the next town by nightfall. Naito's orders.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to take a turn walking?"

Miroku looked over his shoulder at Sango, sitting atop his ancient horse hesitantly, a pretty pink blush over her cheeks. Her eyes were red from all the tears she'd shed, but other than that, she looked just as put-together as she always had. Strength personified. "Positive. I'm practically superhuman; these long treks don't bother me one bit."

She looked at him with not a little skepticism, but her lips stretched into a weak smile nonetheless, the first one she'd made since the revelation of her father's death. Miroku could only ignore the warm feeling in his chest and return the smile as calmly as possible.

"We'll be stopping for a rest soon, I'd wager," he said, turning back around, ruffling the old nag's mane affectionately, "Poor old Oji will be grateful."

He was right; Okada held up a hand to signal a stop just a few minutes later, and most of the men dismounted, eager to stretch their legs.

Miroku immediately held out his arms for Sango to hop down, and she slid into his grip gingerly, giving a small, soft hiss of pain as her injured arm was jostled slightly.

"Sorry," he mumbled, feeling his face growing hot as he realized just how much he liked having her cradled in his embrace like this, and then hating himself for making such an innocent gesture so awkward and... _carnal-feeling._

He set her gently onto her feet and she gave him a courteous smile. "Thank you."

"Anytime," he said softly.

And then she immediately turned away from him to scan the crowd of soldiers and horses. "Where's Sota?"

 _Of course._ Miroku gave a resigned sigh, but not as loudly as he wished to.

"At the front, with his own regiment. He's one of Okada's boys." _Possibly in more ways than one,_ he thought but didn't say. It wasn't his place to. Even if it _might_ make Sango stop giving the kid adoring glances every five minutes.

"Oh, _there_ he is," Sango said mildly, nodding toward the young man, the only one in the group without any armor on, who was approaching the trees on the side of the path and slipping in between them. She immediately let go of where she'd been holding Miroku's sleeves to steady herself and set off after him.

Miroku watched her go, then with a pained grimace he rested his forehead on Oji's bony, aged spine, closing his eyes with yet another sigh.

* * *

Kagome's shoulders and arms were still aching, but that was no reason to forego _some_ sort of sword practice for the few minutes that everyone else was using to rest. She supposed she could just cycle through some of the forms Miroku had shown her and save the strength exercises for tomorrow. Best to let her arms heal up rather than risk further injury. If she put herself out of commission for days or even weeks at a time, she'd never forgive herself. And she'd never hear the end of it from Okada.

At the thought of him, she just heaved a sigh and frowned down at her feet. Thinking of him right now was just confusing. A kiss that had set her aflame, and then _nothing_ since, not even a word. Just a night in solitary to save his face and then not even a sign that he'd even asked after her.

Maybe it had all been a mistake. Maybe it shouldn't ever have happened.

 _Maybe I'd be better off if he'd just never kissed me at all._

The moment the thought popped into her head, she hated herself for even thinking it. She couldn't regret that kiss, no matter what happened. When Okada had kissed her, _oh gods,_ she'd felt _whole._ The part of herself that had always confounded her, had always confused her family and friends growing up, the part of herself that felt out of place and out of mind compared to the rest of her own little world…all of it suddenly made all the sense in the world. She'd been this way for a reason. Rebellious, unconventional, even a little scandalous. All so her actions would lead her to that moment in the trees, where she'd collapsed into his arms and felt his body flush with hers and felt his hands all over her…

Kagome frowned and drew her katana and began furiously going through forms at lightning speed. The faster she moved, she reasoned, the less time she had to introspect.

"Sota?"

Kagome paused and whirled around to see Sango, standing there tentatively.

"Sango," she said, a little surprised and caught-off-guard, "H-How are you holding up?"

Her answer was a mute shrug. Sango wasn't in the mood to talk about it, and Kagome didn't blame her.

"You're doing combat formations at a time like this?" Sango's tone was respectfully curious.

"I try to do them every spare second," Kagome said, resuming the twirling motions she was doing with the blade, "In case you hadn't noticed, the regiment I'm part of is what the others refer to as the dead-last recruits. Least skilled and most likely to die in battle."

Immediately she regretted the last part of that statement and wanted to slap herself upside the head, but Sango just nodded like she hadn't even noticed the gaffe.

"You're new to all this, aren't you?"

Kagome smirked. "What gave it away?"

Sango smiled softly. "Well, if it means anything, you're not that bad. You'd put some of the kids in my village to shame."

Kagome's heart ached for her once more; mentioning the village at all had to be difficult to stomach for Sango.

"How's your arm? The ride didn't hurt it too much, I hope."

Sango shook her head. "It's alright. Much better than yesterday, anyway." She paused, seeming to think something over in her head. "That reminds me," she said, reaching into the bag tucked into her obi, the one full of the tiny metal ornaments, "I should assess the _real_ damage while I'm able to."

Kagome was unsure what she meant, and could just watch transfixed as Sango pulled from the bag what looked like a tiny stone, irregular-shaped and off-white in color.

"What's - " Kagome started to say, but stopped mid-question when Sango suddenly reached for the aloft-held blade of her katana and swiped the pad of her index finger along its edge. "Whoa! Hey! It's _sharp_ , what are you - "

Sango squeezed a drop of blood from her finger onto the irregular-shaped stone object, and there was a flash and a puff of smoke, and suddenly held in Sango's outstretched arm there was the biggest boomerang Kagome had ever seen.

Kagome was certain her eyes were wide with shock, because Sango saw the expression on her face and almost chuckled. Almost.

"It's soul-bound to me," Sango said, by way of explanation, "Responds only to my blood. Good way to keep the things we wanted hidden, _hidden._ " She used her injured arm to try and lift the giant weapon. She managed to, but with obvious pain and a very shaky grip. "Right," she said once she had it slung over her back, "So I've got a ways to go before I'm ready to wield this again." After a pause, she gave Kagome a mischievous smile. "Want to try it?"

Kagome held up her free hand and waved her off. "Oh, no, that's okay. It looks heavy."

"It is. Here, try lifting it."

Kagome's curiosity, of course, got the better of her, so she sheathed her sword and with both aching arms tried to lift the boomerang. To her credit, she _did_ manage to lift it a few inches. "Wh-What is this thing _made_ of," she grunted, feeling sweat breaking out on her temples, "Solid _stone?_ "

"Better," Sango said, "Youkai bone. Cuts through them like a sickle through wheat."

This revelation was more exciting than Kagome might have expected. The thought of cleaving through a herd of those bloodthirsty, murdering _monsters…_

All at once, her strength gave out, and with a yelp, she stumbled backward and crashed to the ground, the boomerang pressing down on her and nearly crushing her under its weight. "Whoa!"

Sango immediately came to the rescue and lifted it off of her. "I sort of tricked you," she admitted, "Because it's bound to my blood, I can carry it like it's just another sword. I just wanted to see how you'd do!"

Kagome couldn't help it. She started to laugh under her breath as she propped herself up on her elbows. "It's only...because my arms are sore…" she said through intermittent chuckles and pants of breath, "Let me try again...in a few days!"

Sango pressed a hand to the weapon and it shrank back to its original minute size. offered Kagome her uninjured arm, and with the other girl's help she stood up.

"Well," Sango said, looking at her shyly with her large brown eyes, "I'll leave you to your practice. I just wanted to come over and say thank you again for all you've done."

"Please," Kagome said, "Don't mention it again. It's the _least_ I could do."

 _Oh wait, is she leaning in towards me…?_ Kagome felt a stab of panic and took a halting step backward -

"Am I interrupting something?"

Kagome, against all odds, was _glad_ to see him as she immediately stepped away from Sango's reach and acknowledged her approaching commanding officer. He was regarding Sango with a skeptical look, one she was returning.

"Captain Okada, sir," Kagome said automatically, "I was just showing Sango some sword forms. Nothing more."

Okada was still sending an irritated glare Sango's way. "If you don't mind, miss," he said, "We'd prefer the civilians to keep to the path where the men can keep a watchful eye. We can't track all of you through the woods."

Sango looked ready to open her mouth and argue, but Kagome just shook her head at her. With a shrug, the girl turned to leave, giving Kagome one last bashful smile and sending a fiery look at Okada's back as she went.

Once she was gone, Kagome's respectful deference to Okada faded away, and she just crossed her arms and walked away a few paces, then redrew her sword and began practicing again.

* * *

"Are you - " Inuyasha started to say, then clammed up. She gave no indication she'd heard him, just continued cycling through her sword forms with a determined, focused look on her face.

But after a few moments of awkward, cold-sweat-inducing silence, she answered. "I'm fine," she said softly, practicing a deep lunge, twisting the sharp end of the blade in midair, "Thanks for asking."

"You know why I had to do it," he said quickly, trying not to sound _too_ insistent, lest he seem desperate for forgiveness or something, "If the men suspect that there's something - _between_ \- you and me - "

"Oh for gods' sake, I _know_ that," she said grumpily, her eyes trained angrily ahead, "I broke the rules. I defied a direct order. I told you not to treat me any differently. And you didn't."

Inuyasha blinked in surprise, unsure of where to go from here.

"Then why are you so - "

"Because of that girl," Kagome snapped, "She's lost her home, her father, _everything_ because of the youkai. And I feel like killing something. Killing a lot of things. For her sake."

Inuyasha felt an unsettling chill wash over his arms and neck. There was more pure hatred in her eyes than he'd ever seen before.

 _What will happen someday when she turns that look of hatred towards me?_

He clenched his hands into fists. "Can you just stop for a second and talk to me?"

Kagome smirked. "Is that an _order?_ "

"Do I have to _make_ it one?" he growled. She could be so infuriating and so intoxicating at the same time.

She seemed to think for a moment, then sheathed her blade and turned to face him, arms crossed in front of her chest. She was slightly out of breath, her shoulders rising and falling with every inhale and exhale, as she gazed up at him expectantly.

"Listen," he said, with that horrible sensation of just making it up as he went along, "It was just a kiss, right? One single kiss. There's no reason to lose our heads over it. I think with my being your superior officer and all, maybe it's just best to - "

Her even expression slowly changed to one of anger. "Oh," she said, "I see. So it was _me_ initiating the kiss, was it?"

He swallowed. "I was...impulsive," he said, fighting to keep from stuttering, "I didn't think about...well, I just don't see this ending well, is all."

Kagome's shoulders seemed to slump a little, and he felt just horrible, but he remained still.

"You're still very young," he continued, "I know you have some sort of crush, here, but that will pass in time. It'll happen more and more as you get older. Don't worry." Here he gave her a weak smile, trying to send a reassuring aura.

"So I think from now on, we should just try to keep it professional," he kept going, feeling his guts churning in revulsion more every minute, "I wouldn't be any good for you, believe me."

Kagome let her arms fall to her sides, her hair hanging over her face. She said absolutely nothing.

"We should probably get moving," Inuyasha said quickly, knowing he'd be unable to help himself if she started to cry right here and now, "Come on."

He turned to leave.

There was the sound of running footsteps on the grass behind him, and before he could turn around to react, he heard Kagome's voice, snarling in rage.

"You absolute...fucking...coward!"

He was bodily tackled to the ground with a grunt of surprise.

* * *

 _ **Yeeep. This is probably the place to let you guys know that the rating is going back up in the next few chapters. For pretty obvious reasons hahaha. Nothing too crazy explicit, I promise, but I'd rather not tempt the censorship fates, if you know what I mean.**_

 _ **HOW CREEPY IS NARAKU. BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH.**_

 ** _Sango's part was hard to write. Sniffle._**

 ** _Let me know what you guys think! This one was nice and long; I had a lot to say this time around I guess hahaha. Please review! - meggz0rz_**


	12. Distractions

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twelve**

 **DISTRACTIONS**

* * *

Inuyasha managed to catch himself with his hands before completely face-planting into the muddy, frigid ground. "What the _hell -_ " he started to say, before he twisted around onto his back, holding up his arms against the sheer onslaught Kagome was giving him.

"You - _bastard,_ " she growled, swinging for his face with an open palm. He smacked her arm away out of sheer instinct, but it didn't dissuade her one bit as she just swung with the other hand, smacking him on the side of his shoulder.

"It's the _middle of the goddamned day,_ " Inuyasha ground out, "and the _troops_ are less than a few hundred yards out! They'll _hear_ you!"

She just fought at him harder, finally landing a blow on his cheek that made his eyes water.

With a snarl, he fought back, shoving against her collarbone and trying to scramble out of reach. She just glared at him, her blue eyes filling with tears of rage, as she lunged forward and grabbed a stronger hold around his waist.

He finally managed to get hold of both her wrists, and held her entire upper body aloft over him as she grunted and struggled to free herself.

"How _dare_ you," she hissed, "suggest that I'm reading too much into things. When I wasn't the one to start _any_ of it. I was _fine,_ until you made a move. If anyone's lying to themselves, it's _you._ "

"I'm not lying. You're delusional," he said, sending her the fiercest glare he could muster, "Now let go of me. I'm not going to fight you."

"Well, I'm going to fight _you!_ " With what seemed like the extent of her strength (which had _vastly_ improved, he found himself noticing), she shoved her wrists out of his grasp and collapsed forward onto his stomach and chest. He grunted as she knocked half the wind out of him.

"Stop it!" he snapped, grabbing for her wrists again and missing. His hands settled around her small waist instead, and he dug his fingers in to try and keep her still. It was important, with all her kicking and thrashing about, to just keep her _still._

 _Especially given where she's sitting right now._ Inuyasha swallowed quietly but kept the tough look on his face.

Kagome's hands went to his shoulders, and she shoved him backward onto the grass, leaning down with him to nuzzle her cheek alongside his.

It seemed to be sheer instinct, sheer involuntary motion, but he leaned into it, closing his eyes and inhaling the very essence of her.

Almost as if in a dreamlike state, he went in for a kiss, trying to grasp the back of her neck and draw her down to him, but she ducked out of the way with catlike reflexes. The catlike reflexes he'd helped her learn.

" _Now_ who's delusional?" she smirked into his ear. He fought back a groan. Of exasperation? Pleasure? Both?

Kagome seemed satisfied that she'd gotten his full attention, _finally,_ and sat back on her knees, straddling his hips. The motion was _tantalizing_ , whether done so intentionally or unintentionally, but Inuyasha refused to allow himself to think about it, and even bit his own tongue to restrain himself.

Her hair had come out of its topknot and the ends were sticking to her neck and cheek. Inuyasha fought the urge to brush the damp black strands away from her face.

"Don't act like it was nothing," she said softly, seriously, her banshee-like fury seeming to fade with every passing moment and being replaced with just a stern gaze, "because I won't believe it."

 _And here once again, she's calling my bluff._

He lay there motionless, stunned, as she stood up and loomed over him.

"Really, Captain, lying like that?" she said softly, examining him closely, a look of bewilderment on her face, "It doesn't suit the kind of man I know you are."

At this statement, he really wanted to die. Or at least disappear from the world.

 _She believes in me so completely. So utterly. It's never a question in her mind, is it?_

Inuyasha just stared up at her, this wild, tough, outspoken, and yet heartbreakingly vulnerable young woman above him. Her cheeks were flushed red from exertion, her clothes in disarray, her blue eyes shining in the light cast between the trees.

She'd never looked more stunningly beautiful than in this moment, as she gently adjusted her clothing and re-tied her hair into its boyish topknot.

 _Gods help me. Gods help us both._

"Captain!" A voice called, and there was the telltale sound of someone approaching through the brush. "We're ready to move out again."

Inuyasha sprang to his feet and the two of them flew apart, facing opposite directions. "Sounds good," he answered, just as the messenger appeared through the trees.

He ignored the man's questioning looks as they returned to the caravan.

* * *

The remainder of the journey to the mountain was uneventful, aside from the air growing ever colder. Kagome recovered from her flustered, panting state, and found herself once again wishing she'd had time to grab her belongings from the now-abandoned training camp; her fur cloak would have come in handy by now.

The town of Ryusei made the small, isolationist trappings of Taijiya village look even more provincial by comparison. Despite its location high in the snowy mountain range, it was bustling and exciting, with a large market square and large, sturdy buildings for lodging and business. It was what her grandfather would have referred to as a trading hub.

Was this what a _city_ looked like? Kagome had only ever read of sprawling metropolises in her books and had never had occasion to venture out of her own small village as a young girl. Her papa had once told her that the capital city was changing rapidly every day, growing ever more modern and busy, but it had seemed so far away and so different from what she was used to.

The soldiers were directed to a large series of stables to dismount and put away their horses, and that was where she met back up with Sango and Miroku. Sango was bundled up in Miroku's long cloak, the vast amount of fabric almost swallowing her up and hiding her arms and legs. She seemed just as entranced by the sprawling city as Kagome was, and she wandered forward through the light snowfall to crane her neck upward at the tall buildings.

"Miroku," Kagome teased when Sango was out of earshot, "Your lips are all blue."

He gently bopped her upside the head without a word.

Kagome cast a glance toward where the officers were all standing in a circle. They appeared to be conversing with some important men from the town, probably hashing out where the Taijiya survivors could be housed temporarily until a further plan for them was figured out. Okada seemed to be arguing a point, and Naito was listening attentively before he finally gave a small nod of acquiescence. The circle broke up, and the commanders all went towards their separate regiments with a loud call of, "Fall in!"

Kagome whispered a quick, "See you later," to Miroku and rejoined her own group, where Okada was approaching, arms folded against the wind chill.

"What are our orders, sir?" It was the old man speaking, leaning against a fence post for support.

Okada's eyes met Kagome's all-too-briefly before he addressed the troops. "The town council has agreed to take in the Taijiya survivors. They'll be staying in a few boarding houses on the edge of the city limits."

 _Good,_ Kagome thought, _At least we know they'll be cared for and safe._ There were so few of them, so many broken lives and homes, but at least now they had a place to regroup, to learn how to start over.

"Oh, one more thing," Okada said, a smirk crossing his handsome features, "General Naito has agreed to give you vermin a week's furlough. And lodgings at some of the inns in town for the duration."

There was a raucous cheer amongst the group. Everyone looked thrilled at the idea of sleeping indoors for the first time in who knew how long.

"You'll also be getting your back pay from the treasury chest," Okada said, "Don't spend it all at once. Or do. Like I give a shit."

 _I can actually buy some armor! And a cloak!_ Kagome wanted to sing a song of celebration as she shivered and clasped her arms around her own shoulders.

"Was that your idea, Captain?" she said knowingly, smiling up at him.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, avoiding her gaze.

 _It was._ Kagome couldn't imagine her heart feeling any fuller. This man, protest though he might, would clearly go to hell and back for all of them.

 _But especially me,_ she thought with a burst of pride, as her heart pounded in her chest. He seemed so determined to not look at her, after their little tumble in the forest earlier. But she knew. She was surprised at being so sure, but she was. He cared, no matter how much he might fight it.

There were worse men to fall for, right?

He passed out jingling bags of money to every man in the company, saving her for last. The rest of the men scattered in every which direction, eager to find lodgings and start spending their coin.

And they were alone, standing there outside the sprawling cityscape, with a few inches of snow all around them and no one to hear them but the nighttime air.

Kagome held out her open palm with a soft smile. "How's your face?"

Okada narrowed his eyes at her and ran a hand over the bruise she'd given him with that hellacious slap earlier in the day. "I could send you right back to isolation for that, you know."

"But you won't, right?" she said, taking the bag of coins and standing on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "Because then I wouldn't let you kiss me again."

"You little - " His face screwed up in anger and not a little embarrassment.

Kagome couldn't help the quiet laugh under her breath as she gave his ear a gentle, chaste peck, and quickly scurried away to spend her money in the marketplace.

* * *

"Wow," Sango said softly, her fingers tentatively sweeping over the bolt of cloth on the stall's counter in front of her, "How beautiful." It was a light pink in color, embellished with cherry blossoms and red birds. It felt like silk.

"I agree," Miroku said, turning the meager coins over in his hand and cursing himself for not having the money to buy this girl expensive, lavish gifts. _Not that she'd accept them anyway,_ he thought, _at least from me._

"Did you ever know a woman who wore finery like this?" She smiled up at him over her shoulder. "In all of your _adventures_?"

He allowed himself a small, resigned smile. "At least a few," he conceded, "but frankly, the ones who could afford these things were never all that interesting. Blushing violets who agreed with everything one said. I prefer the girls with spirit. Even if their clothes aren't as fancy."

Sango gave a gentle laugh and turned back to the counter just as Sota bounded up from out of nowhere and nearly collided with the counter.

"How much is the armor?" he asked, catching his breath as the shopkeeper stared at him dully.

Miroku and Sango exchanged a confused look. "How much money did you _get?_ " Miroku asked him.

Sota dumped his bag of coins into his palm and counted quickly. "Forty gold pieces," he said, "That's enough for armor, right?"

Sango looked at Miroku again, biting her lip to hold back laughter.

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

"...No," Miroku said finally, and Sango gave a small snort and seemed to try to disguise it with a cough, "That's not even _close_ to enough."

"Oh." Sota looked dejectedly at the coins in his hand. "I guess forty gold isn't a lot, then?"

"How rich _were_ you?" Miroku said with disbelief as poor Sango hid her smile behind her hand. "To not even know the spending value of money, my goodness."

Sota turned a brilliant shade of red. "I didn't get out much," he mumbled.

Sango laid a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder. "A few of those gold would probably buy you a cloak," she said softly, sympathetically, "You'll likely need one once it gets a little colder."

"So do you," Miroku interjected, staring at Sango.

Sango blinked in surprise, then gave him a weak smile as she shrugged. "I'll manage," she said.

 _She doesn't have any money, either._ Miroku turned the coins in his hand over again.

"Hold on," he said, turning to leave, "I'll be right back."

* * *

Kagome fought back the squeak of surprise as she and Sango were suddenly covered by great layers of fur. "What the - "

Miroku stood there, looking very pleased with himself indeed. A white fur cloak for Sango, and a brownish-black one for Kagome.

"Miroku!" Kagome admonished, turning bright red again and feeling a lump in her throat. "You didn't have to - "

He held up a hand. "I had a little spare coin. I may or may not have accepted a donation from my monastic order before leaving to join up with the army."

Sango, tentatively pulling the fur around her shoulders and snuggling it to her cheek, raised a playful eyebrow. "Don't tell me," she said, "You raided the temple coffers?"

Miroku smirked at her. "I don't know _what_ you're talking about. Accusing me of such a thing with no proof? Lady Sango, I'm surprised at you." He turned to Kagome. "And now, kid, you can do something I'm sure you've never had to do in your life - save your money up to afford armor."

Kagome gave him a sheepish grin and pulled on her new cloak, already revelling in the warmth it was providing.

"Where to next?" Miroku said casually, "I, personally, am _starving,_ and the idea of eating something besides watery cabbage soup is intriguing."

Kagome nodded vigorously in agreement, feeling her own stomach rumble.

"There," she said, pointing to a large, well-lit building, with several women standing outside, beckoning customers in. The scent of warm, roasted meats and succulent vegetables was overpowering and glorious.

"Looks good to me!" Sango slipped her arm around Kagome's and all but pulled her in that direction. "Come on, Miroku!"

"Uh, you two, wait a moment." Miroku hadn't moved. He was laughing silently to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose, looking very awkward indeed.

Kagome stopped in her tracks and dug her heels in to resist Sango's insistent tugging at her arm. "What's wrong?"

"That's not just a restaurant."

Kagome turned back to look at the establishment. The girls all standing outside, enticing customers to enter, were young and beautiful and wearing quite a bit of makeup. They were well-dressed, to be sure, but their kimonos were tied just a _little_ too loosely, their hair a _little_ too purposely unkempt…

 _It's a brothel!_ Kagome fought back the urge to exclaim out loud in scandalized surprise. Of course she'd heard of these places, but only in her old romance stories of kings and mistresses and secret rendezvouses in the dark…

A burning curiosity set upon her that should have made her feel ashamed. Her _mother_ would certainly have admonished her for even _asking_ about such dens of impropriety. But then again, she'd disappointed her mother over and over again, hadn't she?

The sobering thought was interrupted by Sango seeming to realize the place's true intentions as well, and reacting outwardly in a most unexpected way.

"Let's go!" Sango exclaimed excitedly, "I've never been in one of these!"

Kagome's eyes widened, and she silently looked to Miroku for help. But he just shrugged, a dopey smile on his face as he seemed to relish Sango's lifted spirits. _The girl's lost everything,_ his look to Kagome said, _Let's take her mind off it for a while._

Kagome would have agreed, but having to pretend to be a boy was hard enough without the possibility of...of….

With a sigh, she blew her bangs out of her face and let the other two all but drag her inside.

Miroku, for his part, just seemed amused at the whole thing, especially when a trio of giggling women descended upon Kagome and started squealing over just how _cute_ she was.

 _Kill. Me. Now._ Kagome resolved to plant her foot firmly up the monk's ass later. Once she got a chance.

The party of three were escorted into a private room, ornately decorated, and given their very own beautiful serving girl, who immediately started pouring glasses of -

"Sake!" Sango seemed genuinely thrilled and grateful as she all but seized her cup and downed it greedily.

Kagome bit the inside of her cheek and glumly took her own cup. She had been raised to sip her sake daintily, taking her time and savoring its flavor.

She tossed it back, feeling it gently burn down her throat. It was a day for further disappointing her mother from afar, it seemed.

* * *

Inuyasha was a complete distracted wreck. Not even checking into his lodgings and seeing the prospective comfort of a real bed had taken his mind off of Kagome. In fact, all he'd done was imagine her in it, lying naked in the sheets, her blue eyes half-closed as she awaited him…

He clapped a hand roughly over his eyes and groaned with frustration.

 _How am I ever going to get anything done around her anymore?_ The little minx knew exactly how she was affecting him, and had beat him at his own game handily. Any authority he'd had, any high ground he'd held, it was all for nothing, and they both knew it.

This was infuriating.

Surely it was because he'd gone so long without sex. That had to be it. A single female in the camp until recently, and with him the only one who knew about her? It was pure convenience, wasn't it? She was beautiful, yes, and she amused him, though he'd never admit as much to her.

Perhaps the answer was just letting out some of his physical frustration. And then they'd be back on equal footing. Or at best, he'd be completely unmoved by her, even when she dove at him like a raging tiger and forced him into compromising positions.

He'd be back to normal. Ready to complete his mission and leave them all to rot, just as the plan had been all along.

Inuyasha sat up in his bed with a growl, raking his hands through his hair, and then, decision made, he threw on a winter cloak and bounded out the door to his room.

The brothel was large, warm, and inviting. _Inticing,_ even. He kept his hood drawn up as he was escorted inside by smiling, lovely girls, all of whom were staring at him dreamily.

 _Of course they are, they're paid to, aren't they?_ He sniffed and asked the madam to look over her best girls, feeling a little repulsed at his own actions but knowing he _needed_ some sort of release or he'd go insane.

One girl in particular caught his eye. Long, black hair to her waist. Milky white skin. Sure, she was a bit too tall and her eyes too dark to be a perfect match, but this girl was stunning. Seductive and shy in a way Kagome never could be, he told himself.

Inuyasha approached her, and despite his mind reeling at hundreds of miles a second, his hand was steady as he gently touched her shoulder and introduced himself.

The young woman who looked so similar and yet so different to the girl who'd been plaguing his every thought and action smiled at the sight of him. As her hand slid into his and she started pulling him up the stairs toward the private rooms, he heard her whisper her own name.

"My name is Kikyou," she said, "but you can call me anything you like, Captain Okada."

* * *

"More sake, sirs? And milady, of course?"

Miroku, feeling that glorious warm haze of drunkenness, nodded in agreement as all three of them held out their cups for the serving girl to coquettishly refill before leaving the room.

"I feel so much better," Sango said, slurring her words slightly as she lolled her head over onto Sota's shoulder, staring at the boy's face fondly. She slid her arms up to try and cradle his neck.

Miroku felt the discomfort in his chest and downed half of his refill probably a little too quickly.

Sota, for his part, looked equally uncomfortable, and was gently, smilingly trying to scoot away from Sango's amorous attentions. He was pink in the face, though whether it was from the insane amounts of sake they'd all consumed or from embarrassment, Miroku couldn't tell.

"Do you have a sweetheart, Sota?"

Miroku nearly spat out the rest of his drink and began coughing. "Sango, leave the poor kid alone," he said quickly, defensively, _defiantly_ , even. "He's not used to attention from women, are you, Sota?"

Sota shook his head violently. "I'm not really interested," he said, scooting even further around the table, towards Miroku, as if _that_ would help.

Sango looked a little confused, and a little sad at the thought. Her bottom lip pouted as she gazed at Sota with half-lidded eyes. "You mean," she said, "You've never even _kissed_ a girl?"

"No!" Sota said, looking aghast at the thought.

Miroku fought back a laugh as he reached out to place a hand on Sango's shoulder. "Lady Sango," he said gently, "Our boy Sota here is of, shall we say, an _unusual_ persuasion."

 _There, kid, I helped you out. Now_ you _help me out._

Sango looked ready to cry. "You mean you're…?"

Miroku nodded sagely. "With Captain Okada," he said, "Aren't you, Sota?"

Sota, of course, could _not_ be counted on, and instead spluttered in disbelief. "What? No I'm - I mean, that is - "

"Of course you aren't!" Sango exclaimed happily, the forlorn look disappearing from her face almost immediately, "I knew it!"

Quick as a flash, she lunged across the table, grabbing Sota by the shoulders and planting a kiss to his lips.

 _Now you've done it, Miroku. All the romance in the world, and it will never involve you, will it?_

They remained stock still for a moment (Miroku had to fight to avoid squeezing his cup into smithereens), with Sango doing her level best to drunkenly crawl into Sota's lap and with Sota gripping Sango by her good arm and trying to shove her off of him.

"Wait," Sota said, looking ready to bolt right out of the room, "There's something I have to - "

"Oh, come onnnn," Sango said flirtatiously, "You can't be _that_ shy, can you?" She tried to dive in for another kiss, but Sota scrambled backwards on his hands and feet, colliding with Miroku's shoulder.

"I'm a _girl!_ " he said emphatically, then clapped both hands over his mouth, looking around to make sure no one else had overheard.

 _Wait a second._

The silence hung in the air as everyone stared at each other in turn, all wide-eyed and red-faced and half-drunk.

Sango spoke first, narrowing her eyes, her brow knit together. "You're a girl?"

Sota shushed her insistently, then clapped a hand over his face in mortification.

 _A girl?_

Miroku was fairly sure his brain had stopped working. He couldn't string a proper thought together, let alone speak.

So he did what he could, out of pure instinct.

Without a word, his brow furrowed in concentration and curiosity, he snaked his hand down over Sota's shoulder and over his chest.

And squeezed.

 _Oh. Gods above us. Even bound tightly, those are glorious._

"What the hell are you _doing?_ "

A stinging slap connected with his face, but he barely even registered it. His face was one of pure shock.

Sota drew his - _her_ \- hand back to slap Miroku again, then thought better of it, and instead stood to flee the room, drawing her shirt tightly around herself and flinging the sliding door open.

* * *

"You know I'm going to take such wonderful care of you," Kikyou purred into Inuyasha's ear as they reached the top of the steps, "And whoever it is that's on your mind, she'll be out of there and a distant memory soon enough. I promise." She slid her arm around his waist and gave a nibbling kiss to his collarbone.

He grunted in reply, keeping his focus on just getting it over with. For some reason, this felt so _wrong_. Even though he owed Kagome nothing, no matter _what_ she said. Even though she'd be so much better off without him.

There was a jarring slam as one of the doors to the private rooms to their left almost _banged_ open, rippling the air with its force. A small, raven-haired form tumbled to their hands and knees, scrambling out of the room. The air was thick with the smell of sake, and the person seemed a little deep in their cups as they struggled to slam the door behind them.

"Wait! Sota! Come back!" Inuyasha heard from the room.

The monk's voice.

 _Oh, shit._

Almost in slow-motion, Inuyasha trailed his gaze down to the face of the escaping patron, who was now staring at him with blue eyes as wide as dinner saucers.

 _Kagome?_

What in the hell was she _doing_ here?

* * *

 _ **SO MUCH AWKWARD. GAHHH.**_

 _ **Also yes, Kikyou is in this but only as a whore hahahahaha. It doesn't make sense for Inuyasha's backstory this time around to have had a human sweetheart in his past. So she's just a pale shadow of Kagome in this. (OH WAIT SHE WAS IN THE SHOW TOO *AIR HORNS* YEAH I WENT THERE)**_

 _ **This chapter was a bit more lighthearted, which was a nice break in the midst of all the ANGST all over the place. But never fear, drama-heads. Shit's gonna get real soon enough.**_

 ** _OH ONE MORE THING - I think on forms from now on where you have to mark sexual preference I'm just gonna write "Kagome asking 'How's your face?' after punching the shit out of them" because I think that's my fetish? Hahahaha (See "The It Couple" for more information)._**

 ** _Love you guys! Now off to the next chapter. See you soon! Read and review if you can kplzthx - meggz0rz_**


	13. Apologies

_**WARNING - SMUTTY GOODNESS IN THIS CHAPTER. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. IF IT RUSTLES YOUR JIMMIES TO READ ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES MAYBE JUST FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO OCCUPY YOUR TIME, THANKS GUYS!**_

* * *

 **Oblivion**

 **Chapter Thirteen**

 **APOLOGIES**

* * *

Kagome felt her heart stop for a second as she crouched there, looking up at him.

 _Okada? What is he doing here, in a brothel?_

Her eyes lit on the girl next to him, who had one arm looped around his waist and one encircling his shoulders. The girl didn't seem to be paying much attention to Kagome at all.

"Oh," Kagome said softly, feeling her stomach seem to drop away as she felt the air leave her lungs in a silent rush.

 _She looks a lot like_ me _, doesn't she?_

She felt her eyes narrow in a contemptuous stare, as he stood frozen to the spot, looking about ready to turn heel and run away.

"Sota," Miroku appeared behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Wait. Don't go. I'm sorry. Come back in here and tell us everything...oh, Captain Okada, sir. What are you..." Miroku looked from Okada's stricken silence to Kagome's furious glare and back again. "Oh."

Kagome felt her heart pounding in her ears as she shakily turned to Miroku. "I just wanted some more sake," she lied, "Let's just go back inside and I'll answer all the questions you want me to."

Miroku's concerned face was starting to irritate her, so she turned back away and pulled herself to her feet.

Her eyes met Okada's once more, and he had the same look of horror and regret that she'd seen once before, when she'd confused it for lack of reciprocation of her attraction to him. She knew better now, but clearly he was dead-set on ruining _everything_ , and he wasn't _allowed_ to look so guilty about it, not when it was all his fault.

"Have a good time, Captain," she said softly.

"Wait," he said, shrugging out of the whore's grasp and trying to grab her hand.

Kagome yanked away so hard she nearly fell backward. She felt dizzy, and not all of it was from the copious amounts of sake she'd drunk. Placing a hand on the crouching Miroku's shoulder to steady herself, she stepped backward into the room and slammed the sliding door in Okada's face.

With a small, quivering sigh, she closed her eyes, and with the other two in the room watching her warily, she returned to her seat at the table and sat, folding her legs underneath herself, hands on her lap. Just like a proper lady should.

"My name," she spoke calmly, though her mind was still reeling and her thoughts were all over the place, "is Kagome."

* * *

 _You got what you wanted, didn't you? She really and truly hates you now. Without a doubt._

Inuyasha stood motionless and expressionless in the center of Kikyou's room as she busied herself with slowly undressing, revealing a thin but beautiful body, with pure, unscarred skin and curves in all the right places. When she encircled his waist with her arms once more, he didn't respond, just stood there like a statue.

"You're a handsome one, aren't you?" Kikyou said appreciatively as she opened his shirt and ran her hands gently up and down his sculpted chest. "I'm a lucky girl tonight."

She leaned up to kiss him and he unconsciously turned away. Her reaction was slightly bemused. "Not the overly affectionate type, hmm?" She settled for planting a series of kisses down his neck instead. "That's alright."

Inuyasha remembered the way Kagome had nuzzled at his cheek so sweetly after their kiss, the way she'd looked so happy and thrilled to be in his embrace.

Kikyou worked him out of his shirt and gently massaged at his shoulders and arms, humming in appreciation and clear arousal.

He thought of Kagome's frustration and fury as she'd tackled him to the ground, trying to force him to admit that he had feelings for her and refusing to accept his denials.

Kikyou gently tugged at his hand and pulled him onto her bed, where he sat at the edge, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor as she planted feather-light kisses down his spine.

He pictured Kagome's own body, shorter than this girl, with more wiry muscle, but so very beautiful, even when her chest was bound tight and her clothes were ill-fitting. He closed his eyes and imagined her just as he'd first seen her in the trees that fateful night, when he'd realized the petulant, defiant boy in his charge was in fact a spirited and gorgeous young woman. Naked in the woods, covered in a bucket of ice cold water and scrubbing herself clean of dirt and grime and blood.

"Oh, _there_ you are. It's about time," Kikyou said, a seductive smile on her face as she reached for the waistband of his pants…

He caught her by the wrist as gently as possible. "No," he said quietly, "I think I'm good for tonight, after all."

Kikyou looked utterly confused and scandalized. "Did I do something wrong?"

Inuyasha sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. "No, nothing. It's me. I'm useless. I'll pay you for your time. Sorry."

So he did, and then once he was dressed he couldn't get out the door fast enough. As he headed down the stairs, he paused once at the door of the private room Kagome and her friends were in, hearing them speaking in animated whispers. He could see her through the outline of the paper screen, leaning against a wall and quietly talking as she tucked a lock of her wild dark hair behind her ear.

With a quiet, pained sigh, he continued down the stairs and out the door into the snowy night.

* * *

"Honestly," Miroku said quietly, "This explains _a lot._ Captain Okada hadn't really seemed the type, you know?"

Sango peeked from behind her hands to look at Kagome. She'd sat like this, utterly mortified at the idea of forcing a kiss on another girl, after apologizing to Kagome so profusely Miroku had thought she might burst into tears. Kagome had just smiled softly and waved her off, saying it was no big deal.

"So you and Captain Okada are - " Sango started to say, then swallowed as a wave of fresh embarrassment seemed to overtake her, "Oh, gods, I'm so _sorry!_ "

"We're not," Kagome said softly, her eyes on her hands resting on her lap. Her brow furrowed. "At least, I don't think...I don't know anymore. I don't know anything."

Miroku took a small sip of sake and remained silent. _That whore Okada was with...could have been Kagome's sister. This is messy. And complicated. I'm glad it's not happening to me._ All resentment he might have felt at dear old Sota had evaporated instantly with the revelation Kagome had given them just moments ago.

"So you're a samurai's daughter," Miroku said finally, changing the subject. Kagome was looking distracted and heartsick.

Kagome nodded mutely.

"And you did all _this_ \- " he gestured with his glass of sake at her boyish getup, " - to prevent your grandfather from having to serve."

Another nod.

Sango looked well and truly touched at the idea, but seemed to have nothing to say.

"Well," Miroku said, casting a meaningful glance at Sango, "I think I speak for the both of us when I say your secret's safe with us."

Sango nodded emphatically, her eyes trained on Kagome's face.

"Thanks," was all Kagome said, with a small, weak smile, "It does feel good for at least _someone_ else to know."

"More sake?" Miroku offered. He'd finally just told the serving girl to leave the serving pitcher.

Kagome shook her head. "I think I'll go for a walk," she said, looking forlornly out the window at the snowy night, "I need to clear my head a bit."

Miroku sent Sango a concerned look. "If you're sure," he said. _Poor kid,_ he thought, _That had to be a difficult thing for her to see just now._

"I'm sure," she said, standing up, clearly still a little hazy from the alcohol, "I'll meet up with you two later."

Sango watched her go, then stared at Miroku. "I still just _can't believe it,_ " she said.

"I can," Miroku said, leaning back against the wall and folding his arms, "You should have seen her at the beginning. Completely out of her element. But she's come so far. And she owes a lot of it to Captain Okada, honestly."

"She's got it bad, doesn't she?" She reached for the pitcher of sake to pour herself a bit more, took a swig, and let herself fall backward onto the floor cushions, staring at the ceiling morosely.

Miroku managed a small, distant smile. "I know the feeling."

* * *

Kagome folded her new fur cloak around her shoulders as she trudged through the snowfall toward the woods. Her steps were wobbly, trembling, as she fought the bile rising in her throat and spurred herself on. Her body didn't feel like her own right now. Even confiding all of the built-up secrets to her two friends hadn't brought her back to earth a bit.

The sound of her name, her _real name_ , was what did it. Her head snapped up and she turned to see Okada standing there, shivering in the snow, waiting there on the street corner for her.

"Kagome," he said again, "Please." With a glance left and right, he approached her, reached for her hand.

She shrank back, feeling the fresh waves of hurt and anger overtake her. "Don't touch me," she spat, fighting to keep her voice a harsh whisper, lest someone were listening, "You have no _right_. Not anymore."

She wasn't sure if she'd ever seen him this distressed, not even when they'd fought a trio of bloodthirsty wolves in the middle of a pitch-black wood. There'd always been that sense of power imbalance between them, even if it wasn't acknowledged. She'd known he was in charge, and had accepted it. He'd had a lot to teach her, after all, and she'd admired him so. Like a foolish, lovesick girl in her late teens would.

But now…

Okada looked about ready to drop to his knees in front of her if she didn't agree to a conversation. He looked _frantic,_ almost. Lost. Much younger than he'd looked before. Kagome found herself wondering for a brief moment how old he actually was; it _had_ to be a closer age to her own than she'd previously thought.

"You were right," he said, "I'm a bastard. I'm a coward. And I know I have no right. But _please_ , can I just explain?"

"Did you enjoy yourself, Captain?" The words were hard and bitter in her mouth as she said them. She drew her cloak tighter around herself, her breath escaping in bursts of steam.

Okada looked pained. "No," he said, "I left. I couldn't...I couldn't do it."

"I'm sorry," she said, "I hear it happens to everyone at times." _Not that I would know_ , she thought. She turned to leave, feeling the treacherous lump in her throat and knowing that she would just _die_ if she started weeping in front of him right now.

"I couldn't," he called after her, his voice rising in desperation, "because all I thought of was you."

Kagome stopped, eyes screwed shut. There went a tear. She cursed it, cursed herself. "I can't do this," she whispered, her voice trembling, "It's not my fault you're trying to prove something to yourself. I shouldn't have to suffer for it."

"You're right," he agreed, and she heard him approaching her, heard his footfalls in the snow, "I was fighting it, fighting all of it. Even with you trying to knock some sense into me, I kept fighting it. Making excuses, trying to chalk it all up to lust or deprivation. That's why I was there, at the brothel. I was trying to convince myself that it wasn't _real,_ the way I've been thinking about nothing but you for weeks. Months, even."

There was a touch at her shoulder, so soft she almost didn't feel it until he gently turned her back to face him.

His dark eyes were shining in the light of the street lanterns, his breath intermingling with hers in the chilled night air. "And I ruined it all," he said softly, looking utterly brokenhearted, "I just destroyed your idea of the man you thought I was, didn't I?"

Kagome felt yet another treacherous tear fall out of her eyes, but said nothing.

He seemed to take that as an answer and gave a pained, defeated sigh, pressing his forehead to hers for half a second before stepping away. "I'm so, so sorry," he said, turning away to stare at the white blanket of snow, avoiding her eyes, "I hope the next man you meet will be worthy of that faith you had in me. I hope he doesn't refuse it until it's too late like I did. You deserve to have that faith rewarded."

Kagome wasn't sure why she did what she did next, but it was as if on instinct. As he turned to leave, to walk back to his lodgings in shame and regret, she grabbed his arm and pulled him back, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. He hunched over slightly to accommodate her height, and flung his own arms around her, embracing her so tightly she felt her breath hitch in her lungs for a brief moment.

"I'm not a good man, Kagome," he murmured into her ear, and there was a mysterious, unexplainable sadness in those words that she couldn't quite understand, "But I wish I was. For you."

A quiet sob died in Kagome's throat as she just clung to him, there on that street corner, in full view of anyone who could pass by at any second. "Let's go inside," she whispered after a moment.

With a cold hand to her cheek, he let her go, taking her by the hand and leading her up the street to his room at one of the boarding houses.

* * *

"Mirokuuu," Sango muttered from her perch on his back, her warm breath tickling his ear something fierce, "Where's Sota?"

"Sota - _Kagome_ , Sango, remember? Sota's real name is Kagome. And _she_ went for a walk. You remember that, right?"

Sango laid her head heavily on Miroku's shoulder, clearly unable to hold it up any longer. She drew her arms a little tighter around his neck, making him swallow nervously. "Where are we going?"

"I told you," Miroku said with a patient smile as he continued trudging through the snowy streets, "We're going to the lodge and we're getting you tucked in bed." _Preferably with a basin next to you in case you need to be violently ill within the next few hours._

She blew her bangs out of her face with an unceremonious raspberry. "What about you?" she said, the words all slurred together as she snuggled her face back into his neck. Her eyelashes fluttered against his skin, and he fought the urge to groan in frustration.

 _Me? I'm going to drop you off and then go plunge myself face-first into the snow. What else would I do?_

* * *

"Captain Okada! Welcome back!" The lodge proprietor seemed very eager to give good service to such a high-ranking officer, as he immediately came from behind the counter to greet Inuyasha personally. He was either entirely nonplussed at what looked to be a young teenage boy at Inuyasha's side, or he'd operated a hotel long enough to learn to be outwardly discreet and accepting. Either way, Kagome shrunk back slightly with a little embarrassment, tucking herself a bit further behind his arm. He fought back a fond smile and squeezed her hand.

"I need a bath," Inuyasha said, "I'm half-frozen here. Is there a private one available?"

"Of course, sir," and the way was pointed.

 _Here we go_ , Inuyasha thought. _No going back after this._ He was shocked and appalled at his own naive actions, but he'd tried to stamp out his attraction to the girl beside him long enough. Even if it were just once, he had to hold her, to make her his. Maybe after that, he could die in peace.

Thoughts of his brother and his youkai friends never entered his mind as he allowed Kagome through the bathhouse room door and followed her inside. He was focused entirely on her.

Kagome looked a little nervous, but she was covering it up with a smile as she stood there shivering, trying to let herself adjust to the warmer indoor temperatures. The bath was steaming behind them, warm and inviting, and she had her eyes on it gratefully as she started to disrobe with shaking fingers.

Inuyasha caught her hands with his, looking down at her. "You know," he said haltingly, knowing he felt about to burst if he didn't take her in his arms but realizing she wasn't nearly as experienced as he was, "if you're not sure...if you'd rather just bathe alone and then go on your way to your own place to stay…"

The smile she gave him was so pure, so sweet, as she shook her head. "No," she said softly, a pink blush rising to her cheeks as she seemed to fumble for the words, "I've wanted this to happen. I knew I wanted it to happen the first time you held me. Remember? In the woods?"

He remembered. He'd been about to lose it then too.

"I was so embarrassed," she laughed, thinking back, "I thought I'd made an entirely wrong move!"

"You made all the _right_ moves," he said, smiling, "I was going _crazy_. It was just my own stubbornness."

Once again, he felt like kicking himself, and it must have shown on his face, because she raised her arms to drape them around his neck and pull him downward towards her. "We're here now," she said softly, and kissed him gently.

"My mother would be so disappointed in me," she said, pulling away with a mischievous smile when they parted, "This is not how a noble young lady behaves."

Inuyasha reminded himself to ask her later just how she'd managed to survive seventeen years of trying to arrange flowers and prepare formal tea services when there was all this restless fire inside of her.

They quietly shed their clothes. Inuyasha noticed Kagome's pointed avoidance of his eyes as she got into the water as quickly as possible and submerged herself. It was adorable.

* * *

Kagome ran her hands through her now-dripping hair, sighing in happiness at the heat of the water as she felt the circulation slowly return to her hands and feet. The water smelled sweet, and she wondered if they'd added scented oils to it, like the servants used to do for her back home.

It was a strange introspection that came over her, even as she heard Okada enter the water behind her. Never in a million years would she have dreamed that her life would take her down this path of a warrior. She was inexperienced but growing stronger and better every day, drinking and rolling in mud and nursing bloody noses, talking as she pleased, loving whom she pleased…

 _Loving whom I please._

Okada's strong arms gently circled around her shoulders, and she felt his chest at her bare back. Her eyelids fluttered closed and she brought her hands up to grip his wrists, leading her chin tuck down into the crook of his elbow.

"You nervous?" he said softly into her ear. His long, dark hair fell all around her shoulders as he planted a gentle kiss to her cheek.

"No," she answered, and was surprised to realize that it was true.

Slowly, she let herself turn around in his arms, her bare chest flush with his for the first time. The sensation was almost too much to bear, and she felt her footing waver ever so slightly as she wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned up for him to claim her lips again.

Even in the midst of a wild, needy kiss, he was tender with her, gently brushing her damp hair away from her eyes, his other hand massaging a gentle circle onto her spine with his thumb. She shivered and let out a soft moan, letting her hands wander blindly up and down his back. Her legs were getting weaker and weaker, and after a few moments she was basically clinging to him with all her strength.

"You alright?" he paused to ask, forehead pressed against hers. He was breathing as heavily as she was.

"Yes," she whispered, "Feels good."

And then he gave her that trademark Okada smirk and slipped one hand beneath the water's surface, and before she could give him a questioning look she felt his finger at the junction between her legs, gently grazing her, and it was as if her whole body went rigid with pleasure. She shot upright, her mouth open in a silent cry of surprise that finally ended in a small squeak.

"What about that?" he whispered in her ear, "Does _that_ feel good?"

That cocky look of his normally infuriated her, but she found she quite liked it when it came to doing things like this. She could only silently nod as she all but dragged that smart mouth of his back to hers for another kiss.

As close as they were, she could feel his erection pressing against her leg, and what normally would have either frightened or alarmed her was instead incredibly erotic. She pulled him even closer, almost grinding herself against it. The _hunger_ she felt, all emanating from her core, was just incredible.

He grunted a little, and it was with slightly shaky arms he pulled her by the shoulders to break the kiss. "You keep doing that," he muttered in mock frustration, "and this won't last _nearly_ as long as I want it to."

And then his mouth was at her throat, his tongue running over her pulse point, nipping, sucking, and she cried out softly and unceremoniously tumbled backward into the water. He lashed out and caught her behind the shoulders, but not before her whole head was submerged again, and she stood back up, coughing and spluttering in what had to be a most unappealing manner.

Okada just smirked at her, shaking his head with a quiet chuckle under his breath.

"Sorry," she mumbled, feeling a flush of shame and self-consciousness wash over her.

"You getting a little dizzy?" he asked, brushing her hair out of her face again.

Kagome nodded. The heat of the steamy bath, the heat of _him_...it all seemed to be overtaking her. As strong as she fancied herself at times, this was so much at once.

Without any seeming hesitation, he scooped both arms underneath her and lifted her from the water, as if she weighed no more than a small child. He was so strong, this man of hers. _That was the first thing I noticed about him,_ she thought with a small smile to herself as he carried her out of the tub and set her gently onto a small bench. He draped a white yukata over her shoulders and did the same for himself, and with trembling fingers she tied it shut.

"Come on," he said softly, picking her right back up and pausing for a moment to nibble at her ear, sending her into a moaning, writhing mess once again as they exited the bathhouse area and proceeded up the stairs towards his bedroom.

The cool air was refreshing, but it made Kagome reflexively cling tighter around his shoulders, pressing her face into his collarbone. Okada didn't seem to mind at all.

* * *

He was tempted to start wildly ravishing her the second he'd gently placed her onto the bed, but Inuyasha knew that with Kagome he should take his time. Savor the moment.

 _Who knows how many chances I'll have to see her like this,_ he thought briefly, and it almost sobered him right up, but then she propped herself on her elbows and stared up at him with those huge blue eyes so full of lust and want and all coherence left his head like a puff of smoke.

Almost bashfully, like they hadn't just held each other in a bathtub with nothing between them but a few drops of water, she slowly untied her yukata again, and he stepped in to peel it open, removing the silken fabric from her still-damp skin.

 _This body of hers...gods almighty._ Her shoulders and arms had that wiry muscle he'd gotten glimpses of before, but he _hadn't_ noticed or been able to appreciate the newly-defined abdominal muscles she'd acquired at some point. She had the body of a warrior now - strong, capable of defending herself, and yet there were still those curves, that vulnerability, that smooth skin, those small training scars…

Almost impatiently, Kagome reached up and untied his own yukata, and he shrugged out of it as he leaned down over her. She laced her fingers through his hair and arched up to kiss him again, her tongue gently running over his lips, a small moan sounding in her throat.

The poor girl was just _ravenous,_ wasn't she?

"I _knew_ you'd be like this," he laughed fondly, sliding his hand behind her head to support it as he trailed a hand up her stomach with a light, almost tickling touch, "You're exactly how I imagined."

* * *

At this, Kagome was so wonderfully touched and flattered, even as she blushed under his gaze. "Did you imagine... _this_...often?" she asked, smiling, then gasping as his hand found her right breast and gently followed its curves with a single finger.

Okada gave her that smirk again, which she was slowly learning meant danger in a bedroom context. His eyes never leaving hers, he leaned his head down and took her breast in his mouth, his tongue running deftly over her nipple and spurring it into hardness.

"O-Oh!" she cried out, latching both hands onto the back of his head and holding him in place as he gently nipped at her, then gave the same treatment to her other breast. She felt like her muscles weren't working anymore, like she was just _melting_ into the bed, boneless and weak.

He released her nipple with a small popping sound, laying his chin in the valley between her breasts as his hands found hers and their fingers linked together.

"Only every day," he said, his dark blue eyes hooded with lust, "Every day for as long as I can remember."

Kagome was overcome with a sudden urge to cry, but instead she shook herself out of it and simply brushed a lock of his dark hair out of his face. "Me too," she said softly.

She didn't even notice when he let go of her hands, but when she saw the smirk again, she knew, and then she felt his finger inside her and it was like white-hot lightning and she felt her mind go blank as her hips bucked upward into his hand.

Okada seemed too curious about this new development to lay still anymore, and he pushed himself upright with one hand and she watched him _watch_ what he was doing to her. Any self-consciousness she might have felt was washed away by the look on his face - pure enraptured fascination.

When his gaze returned to hers, she shakily reached out with both hands to caress his face. It was all she could do right now to keep from crying out in pure abandon.

And then he added another finger, and she sat straight up, head arched back to the ceiling, and she did, in fact, cry out. Loudly.

"Oh, _gods!_ " Her hands fisted in his hair as she felt herself buck upwards into his grip even more emphatically as the shockwave of pleasure rocked through her.

And then the shaking and violent aftershocks ended, all too soon, and his fingers left her. And before Kagome could even pout about it, Okada's mouth was over hers again, and he tasted like sweat and roses and pure heaven as he covered her body with his own. She whimpered into his mouth as she held him close.

He pulled away gently after a moment, much to her chagrin. "I don't know how much longer I can hold out," he said, burying his face into the crook of her neck and planting more wet kisses there, "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Kagome fought to catch her breath as she put a finger under his chin and drew him back up to kiss him again. "That's a stupid question, Captain," she said, offering him a smirk of her own.

Apparently, that was all he needed to hear, and a quick hand between them to adjust was all the warning she had before she felt him gently pushing inside her. He was clearly going as slow as possible, to give her time to adjust. But there was no pain, like she'd been told there would be, just a strange sensation of being...well, _full,_ where once she'd been empty.

His eyes never left hers. He was clearly watching her for a wince or a grimace, and when she gave none, he whispered gently, "Are you - "

"I'm fine," she said, stroking his hair out of his face again, "Keep going."

So he did, slowly, and then he built up speed, his eyes fluttering closed, and suddenly Kagome was aware of a delicious friction that kept building, up, up, up, and _oh gods_ she was chanting his name in her head over and over, unable to say it out loud, unable to make any sound other than moaning.

She threw her arms around his back and arched up into him, their bodies both slick with sweat. He bent low over her and kissed her once more, and she couldn't bear it anymore and felt her body almost explode around him as she fell backward and writhed uncontrollably with the ecstasy of it all. As she did so, she felt what must have been his own release, because he groaned her name and pressed his cheek to hers with a final, violent thrust, and then collapsed in a heap on top of her.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Inuyasha spoke after a moment, his voice hoarse and tremulous.

Kagome, still panting, smiled and nodded.

"Sorry," he mumbled, moving to roll off of her, "I'm probably crushing you, aren't I?"

He was stopped by her hand on his sweat-slicked shoulder. "Stay," she said softly, a dreamlike smile on her face, "It's strangely comfortable."

She slid her arm up around his waist and rubbed a slow, gentle circle on his lower back. Her hair was all around her on the pillow, damp with perspiration, and her cheeks were flushed red.

Inuyasha was suddenly overcome by this feeling in his chest, one of possession and lust and a longing far deeper than he'd ever imagined.

Kagome leaned upward to peck him on the lips, and there was a look shining in her crystal blue eyes that clued him in to what she might be about to say.

He couldn't let her say it. Not now. He'd figure out what to do about this, about the whole situation and the miserable world around it, sometime later.

So he just leaned down and kissed her deeply until he was sure her mind had gone blank.

* * *

 _ **WHEW THAT WAS THE MOST FUN AND EMBARRASSING THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN AND I'M ALL ABOUT IT Y'ALL.**_

 _ **Yep, they done did it now. Literally. *Phantom of the Opera voice* PAAAAAAST...THE POINT OF NO RETURN...NO GOING BACK NOW...**_

 ** _This chapter was basically pure smutfluff. But so many sad things are coming you guys. I hope your little hearts are ready cause I'm gonna put them in blenders. SORRY ABOUT IT I PROMISE THERE'S A HAPPY ENDING EVENTUALLY_**

 ** _This was my first time EVER writing a sex scene. I hope it was okay. I was both anticipating and dreading this from the moment the fic started hahaha. I'm so glad my mom doesn't read these stories. (But my sister does! HI BABY SISTER! REMEMBER DON'T HAVE SEX OR YOU'LL GET PREGNANT AND DIE OKAY?)_**

 ** _Let me know what you guys think, once again! Thanks for reading and reviewing! - meggz0rz_**


	14. Days

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

 **DAYS**

* * *

It was sheer force of habit that awoke Kagome so early the next morning.

She blinked her eyes open and yawned, stretching out her arms and legs as she stared, slightly bewildered, at an unfamiliar ceiling.

Her arm collided with the spanse of a warm, bare back.

"Ow," Okada muttered into his pillow.

Kagome's heart immediately began to pound as she realized where she was and who she was with and just _what_ she had done with him last night. With a huge smile spreading across her face, she immediately curled up around him, slipping her arm over his waist and pressing a small, delighted kiss to his shoulder.

He was laying on his stomach, his long dark hair hanging over the opposite shoulder, his hands fisted into the bedroll beneath his pillow, and he simply grunted in acknowledgment of her and remained still.

 _Not a morning person, then, Captain?_ Kagome suppressed a giggle as she stroked one leg over the backs of his own.

"Go back to sleep," he grumbled, as his hand reached up to gently bop her on top of the head.

"Nope," she said, "That's an order I won't obey today. I've skipped training for days in a row now and I can't let it happen again."

"Then get your ass out of here and let _me_ sleep," he griped, ruffling her hair before turning onto his side, arms folded, facing the opposite wall.

"Noted," she said brightly, sitting up and reaching for her clothes, which Okada had apparently flung in a heap against the wall when they'd entered his room last night. At least he hadn't left them downstairs; _that_ would have been an awkward, half-dressed walk to retrieve them.

It felt strange, after such a night of passion and abandon, to be putting on her boy outfit as if nothing had ever happened. As she tied her chest bindings in place, somehow it felt different, much more like a costume or disguise than it ever had before.

 _Probably has something to do with having let someone see everything and touch everything and know everything_ , she mused, her gaze traveling over her shoulder to rest on Okada's quietly sleeping form. Whatever it was, it was strangely comforting to know that there was yet another secret between them, one they held just for each other and that bound them even further together.

Once she was fully dressed, her sword and bow strapped on, her fur cloak draped across her shoulders, she tied her hair into its topknot and paused only to lean over him and plant a fleeting kiss to his cheek.

He actually _smirked_ in his sleep.

Kagome fought the urge to roll her eyes as she left to try and find some breakfast.

* * *

"Ugh," Sango groaned into her bowl of rice porridge, "I feel like death." She hung her head low, her eyes cast with dark shadows.

"That doesn't surprise me one bit," Miroku said congenially, patting her on the back gently, "You did have an awful lot of sake last night."

"Did we sleep in the same room?" She looked up at him grumpily as he took a bite of his own breakfast.

Miroku just nodded.

Sango pouted. "Why?"

"Is that so repulsive a thought?" He probably sounded more bitter than he'd intended, because she looked a little surprised, so he added quickly, "It was more out of concern for your health than anything. What if you'd choked on your own vomit in the middle of the night?"

At that, Sango looked a little green, and she dejectedly put down her soup spoon and pushed her bowl away.

Miroku fought back a laugh as he spied someone approaching. "Oh, good morning, Sota."

It was strange, seeing this person in front of him again, now that Miroku knew what he knew. Sota had been a very pretty boy, but he was an even prettier girl, even in clothes several sizes too big and with hair pulled back in a topknot.

"Morning," Kagome said with a tentative smile.

Everything that had happened the night before seemed to come flooding back to Sango all at once, and Miroku watched in real time as she slowly turned several shades of crimson and attempted to disappear behind her own hands once again.

"Feeling any better?" Miroku said, trying again not to laugh as he patted Sango's shoulder once more.

Kagome nodded, sitting down at their table with a satisfied smile. "Much," she said.

Miroku raised an eyebrow, asking her with his eyes, _Did something happen?_

She just gave him a mysterious smile and wrinkled her nose at him playfully, not saying a word as she started in on her own porridge. "Either of you care to join me for training this morning?" she asked through a muffled mouthful.

Miroku blinked and stared questioningly at Sango. "Training?"

Sango just nodded weakly in answer to Kagome's question and reached out to take another shaky bite of her porridge. Apparently, she was going to need her strength.

Miroku was wonderfully confused as to what Sango's training could possibly entail. Sure, the girl could scale thirty-foot walls like it was nothing, but surely her background was similar to what he now knew Kagome's to be - sheltered, sequestered, kept away from all sharp objects and stressful situations.

Then again, she _was_ the last remaining heir to leadership of a famed mountain tribe.

Color him intrigued.

And in about twenty minutes' time, he was to get all his questions answered.

* * *

"Ugh," Sango grunted, lowering her boomerang arm with a frustrated grimace. _Still not anywhere_ near _strong enough,_ she thought bitterly to herself. She was trying to be patient, but with an arm like this, she felt practically _crippled._ And if the next youkai strike came sooner rather than later, she'd be a sitting duck.

She wasn't used to being a sitting duck.

Miroku was still staring at her. She knew it. The second she'd bled on her weapon and it had sprung into full size, all he'd been able to say was, "That. Is the biggest boomerang. I've ever seen."

A typical reaction whenever outsiders laid eyes on her soulbound weapon, to be sure.

At her right, Sota - _Kagome_ , that name was going to take some getting used to - had found a low-hanging tree branch and was doing full sit-ups from an upside down position, her legs hooked around the branch and locked in tightly. The girl's ill-fitting shirt and hakama seemed to be more in the way than anything, and every time she went for another repetition, her shirtfront fell open, revealing those telltale chest wraps that seemed uncomfortably tight and restrictive.

"This might be a silly question," Sango called up into the tree as she transferred the boomerang to her off-hand and lifted it above her head with ease, "but why not just drop the charade and be a girl? Surely after they've seen how hard you've worked, how capable you are - "

"This is the shogunate army," Miroku interjected safely, "Not Taijiya. In our ranks it's all about _tradition_ and _propriety_." He said the words with a biting sarcasm.

From her upside-down perch, Kagome nodded, her hair already loosening from its updo and hanging straight down. "I could be court-martialed," she said, "or _worse._ Women around the troops are viewed as distractions at best, liabilities at worst."

Sango huffed in frustration at this idea, shaking her head slightly. Did this mean that any idea she'd had of firsthand revenge would be a moot point in the present company?

"Besides," Kagome said with a shrug as she grunted and pulled her body up once more, "there are _some_ benefits that at least alleviate the annoyances. No one looks twice at me here."

"Now, we _both_ know that's not true. You've distracted more than your share of folk around here," Miroku's tone was teasing, and Sango found herself wondering just what he meant by that. _Does he have a secret thing for Kagome, too?_

Kagome narrowed her eyes. "Shut up, Miroku," she said, with a slight flush to her cheeks. "What I meant was, I'm judged by skill and skill alone. I had a lot of catching up to do when I got here, and no one gave me any credit unless I improved. So I _had_ to get better."

That was fair enough, Sango supposed. "You should still get some proper-fitting clothes when you get the opportunity," she suggested, "It would make it a lot easier to get around, I'll bet."

Kagome smiled and finished her set of crunches, allowing herself to hang limply, arms dangling above her head. "It would," she agreed, "but new armor comes first. I have to be ready to charge in headfirst again, but preferably without putting poor, dear Miroku in danger again."

Sango turned to Miroku, who was grinning up into the tree and shaking his head.

"That reminds me," Kagome said, smirking, "I still owe you another slap for full-on _groping_ me last night!"

 _Thwack._ Sango, before she even realized her own actions, had reached out and kicked Miroku's legs out from under him. "I forgot you did that!" she exclaimed, standing over him angrily, arms folded.

Miroku coughed out a mouthful of snow, no doubt a little perturbed at having the wind knocked right out of him. "Hey! It was an impulse! I didn't mean it _sexually!_ "

"How in the hell do you not mean to squeeze a woman's breast _sexually?_ "

Miroku looked scandalized. "I was seeing if she was telling the truth!" He seemed to glance beyond Sango, looking to Kagome for some sort of help and finding none. "And anyway," he sat up, returning his glare to Sango, " _you're_ one to talk. Practically climbing all over her and kissing her!"

 _Oh, gods._ Sango felt her face flush red for the thousandth time. "That was different," she mumbled, not really believing it herself.

"Is it?" Miroku challenged. "Let's ask _her_ , shall we? Kagome, which is worse, one _tiny_ little squeeze of a breast for purely _academic_ reasons, or a full-on drunken kiss attack?"

They never got a definitive answer; Kagome, still hanging by her bent knees from the tree branch, was cackling with laughter.

* * *

"Captain Okada," Naito said as Inuyasha entered the tent, still shaking his head to try and wake himself up, "Good morning. We've sent word to the daimyo that he may start his journey immediately. That more than likely gives us a week until his arrival in Ryusei. I know your men are on furlough, but do your best to keep them in check in the meantime. We need everything above board and ready when the time comes. I want to inspire his full confidence that we're serving him well."

"Understood, sir," Inuyasha said. Truth be told, that week of time seemed like a blessing from the heavens. _A whole week,_ he thought, picturing Kagome's face in his mind's eye, _where we're not soldiers in an unwinnable war. Where she's Kagome and I'm...I'm…_

 _Okada. Not Inuyasha. Okada._

As Naito turned to address some of the other captains, he felt his hands squeeze into fists.

* * *

"Come on, Ayame," Kouga said, slinging his travel pack over his shoulder, "Time to go. We have to track the humans from Taijiya. Seems Inuyasha's hunch that the group would head south was sadly mistaken. There's been no sighting of them from any of our southern regiments."

 _Or any word from Inuyasha since,_ he thought bitterly. Sesshomaru's little lackey, that frog-like creature Jaken, had made sure to stop by and ask, no, _demand to know_ if Kouga had heard any word from His Highness the Prince. Apparently he'd been solidly out of contact with Sesshomaru for an entire week and that wasn't like him at all. Had he gone rogue, as Kouga had teased? Or had the humans discovered his ruse? Either way, it wasn't going to be pretty when they caught up and figured out what was going on.

On top of all that, there was Ayame. She'd been acting so _strangely_ ever since Naraku's visit. Tossing and turning with violent nightmares at night, to the point he'd had to get up and shake her into consciousness to stop her terrified cries. And sitting around forlornly during the day, looking wistfully out of the mouth of the cave and sighing, running her claws gently up and down her arms.

Kouga had found himself missing the bright, happy, eager side of her that he'd used to find so annoying. She'd always been his sidekick, from the time he'd rescued her from becoming another demon's lunch as a girl not even in her teens yet. He'd been a little older, a little less feral, a little more preoccupied with having to take leadership of their tribe earlier than expected, but she'd always been there, smiling and grabbing hold of his hand and nuzzling him affectionately even when she knew he'd rebuff her.

And now? Even as he spoke to her, she just looked up at him with vague disinterest as she pulled her own pack onto her back and wordlessly walked toward the cave entrance.

"Ayame," he said sharply, calling after her, "Where's your head at? You've been acting like an idiot lately. I need to know you're with me, here."

She paused mid-stride, and the look she sent over her shoulder was dismissive at best. "I'm fine," she said, "I've just been waiting until _you_ were ready to leave, Lord Kouga. Lord Naraku's waiting for word from us. We have a job to do."

Kouga sent a silent glare to her retreating back, and it was with very unsettling thoughts whirling in his brain that he eventually followed along behind.

* * *

Sango landed smartly on her feet, sending the other two a triumphant smile. "How's that?"

Kagome knew her eyes were wide with appreciation. Even with her exotic weapon safely stored out of sight again, Sango's skills were formidable. _A standing backflip,_ she thought with not a little jealousy, _and with only one working arm, no less._ She found herself once again wishing she'd been raised amongst the warrior women of Taijiya and not the meek, complacent feminine women of her own village.

But then again, as far as she knew, her own village still stood. So perhaps there was no reason to envy Sango. She was going through more than Kagome could possibly imagine, and staying surprisingly hardy and strong in the face of unspeakable, crippling tragedy.

Miroku, meanwhile, probably needed to be reminded to close his mouth as he stared at Sango. Apparently the revelation that Sango was more than just a spirited village girl had thrown him for a loop. He had a look of what could only be _longing_ on his face. Kagome suppressed a smile as Sango sprinted forward, using only her good arm to launch herself off the ground and into a fantastically graceful handspring.

"Not bad," a familiar voice sounded a few feet behind Kagome, and she fought back the excitement that immediately stirred up in her chest as she turned to see Okada, who'd apparently just come through the snowy trees in time to catch the end of Sango's flip.

"Oh, good afternoon, Captain," Miroku said cordially, but not before sending Kagome a meaningful smile that made her want to clobber him over the head.

Okada nodded to him in acknowledgment, then returned his attention to Sango, folding his arms across his chest. "How's the arm?" he asked her.

Sango seemed surprised that he was asking. "Getting better," she said, a tentative smile crossing her face, "Thanks for asking."

Kagome felt her heart swell at the exchange, but she outwardly kept her cool.

"And you, Sota?" Okada turned to her next, and there was no significance or hidden meaning in the look he was giving her, just a distant, expectant gaze. He was back to being her commanding officer in front of company.

Or maybe not. Miroku, it seems, could always be counted upon.

"You can call her Kagome in front of us, Captain," he said, a shit-eating grin crossing his face, "We already know the whole story."

At this, Okada's eyes widened slightly, and then he gave Kagome a slightly perturbed look. "I see," he said evenly.

Sango, clearly reading the situation far better than the monk was, crossed the snowy field towards Miroku and all but dragged him to his feet by his shoulder. "Well," she said casually, gritting her teeth as she turned to Miroku, "I suppose you and I should get going, Miroku. You promised to buy me soup for lunch, remember?"

"I did?"

Kagome watched Sango dig her fingers deeper into Miroku's shoulder until, with a wince, he exclaimed, "Oh, so I did! See you later, you two."

Sango all but dragged him out of the trees as he sent Kagome a playful wink over his shoulder.

 _I really do need to remember to kick his ass later._ Kagome gave a small, irritated kick to the gathered snow at her feet.

"You really think it was a good idea to let those two in on your deepest, darkest secret?" Okada looked scoldingly at her. "This isn't a game we're playing, here. There are consequences if you're exposed."

"I know," she said, "but I trust them both with my life. They're good people. The best people."

He scoffed and shook his head as he approached closer. "Always seeing the best in everyone," he said softly, "Hope they don't prove you wrong." At this statement, his eyes seemed to go far away for a second, and his smile faded briefly, before he blinked and gestured an arm at the field before them.

"Well, go ahead," he said, "Impress me. Show me what all that monk's special help has brought about."

Kagome immediately smiled eagerly. "I finally mastered the one I was practicing a few weeks ago! Here, I'll show you." She all but raced to the center of the field and then unceremoniously collapsed onto her back in the snow.

"Impressive," she heard him say in a dull, sarcastic tone.

She couldn't help but laugh. _That was my first reaction, too!_

And then she swung her legs out, propelled herself upward, and landed steadily on her feet, adding a sword flourish for good measure.

His face broke into that smile, that genuine, knowing smile that seemed so rare, that she loved so much. "Ahhh," he said, "I _do_ remember that one."

She grinned and returned to his side, and he almost immediately seized her around the waist and pulled her close. "I liked it better with your clothes gone, though," he whispered huskily in her ear, and she gave a small laugh before leaning in to kiss him.

 _Is this real life? Is this actually happening?_ It was like her wildest fantasies had all come true at once. It was hard to remember they were even at war right now; she felt like the same delirious, lovesick teenager she'd always been, only now he was here in front of her and kissing her back and all seemed right with the world.

It was almost second nature, even after just one night together, that seemed to draw her hands toward the folds of his shirt under his winter cloak. She slid her fingers between the fabric, feeling warm skin.

"Your hands are _freezing_ , not that you care," he grumbled, but his smile remained as his grip around her waist tightened further. Another kiss, more desperate and needy this time, and she moaned softly into his mouth, stepping ever closer, never quite flush enough with him for her liking.

She wanted him again. All the times she'd had him last night, to the point of mutual exhaustion, and she couldn't get enough. _Insatiable_ , he'd called her jokingly, kissing the top of her head as they had finally drifted off to sleep. And she supposed he was right.

"As much as I'm enjoying this," he said, his voice a little hoarse and strained with the effort, "if we go any further right now there's no way I'm getting back to town on my own two legs."

"Me neither," she said truthfully, smiling up at him.

"If it makes you feel any better," he said, planting a gentle kiss to her forehead, "I did arrange for you to have the room next door to mine. That way any accusations of favoritism or impropriety can be explained away easily."

"My own room?" She hadn't had a room to herself in what felt like ages, and the prospect of having a place of her own to keep all her things safe and sound was much more exciting than it should have been.

"You're welcome," he said pointedly, and she rolled her eyes and thanked him, but not without a playful punch to his shoulder.

* * *

The next few days passed in a dreamlike haze. Inuyasha had told himself that they had a week, only a week, and for that week he was resolved to ignore the coming storm and all the ways he didn't deserve to even be in her presence and just lose himself in her touches, her kisses, her loud, boisterous laughs…

He found himself staying scarce around the remaining officers and enlisted men, preferring instead to spend hours in his bed with her curled into the crook of his arm, just talking about nothing and revelling in this peace of mind, the peace of mind he'd never felt to this point in his life.

* * *

One night, after making love, when they were sitting upright in bed and she was cradled in his arms, Kagome asked him about his family, and the dark weight of reality almost came crashing down.

"Why do you ask?" he said, purposely keeping his tone light and casual.

"Why do you think, idiot?" She reached up with a smile and gently tweaked his nose. "I'm curious. Why does anyone ask anything?" In private, he'd noticed, she'd taken very happily to teasing him good-naturedly and acting utterly comfortable around him, even when she still had to put on her subservient face in public.

"Fair enough," he said with a roll of his eyes, but he didn't endeavor to answer her until she gave him a questioning glance with those huge blue eyes of hers.

"Mother, dead," he said, probably a little more tersely than he'd wanted to, "Father, dead. Older brother, whereabouts unknown." There, he hadn't _technically_ lied to her. He was tired of lying to her. Of course, being completely forthright would have meant adding that his older brother was, in fact, heir to the long-abandoned youkai throne, and then he was sure a whole _bushel_ of further questions would have arisen.

Kagome clearly saw the look on his face and sensed he didn't want to talk about it, so she attempted to ease the tension by volunteering information about her own family. She told him about her grandfather, and her eyes glowed with pride. She told him about her mother and looked more than a little guilty. She told him about her younger brother, the _actual_ Sota, and her eyes shone wistfully.

"Tell me this," he said, leaning his head over to rest on her shoulder and pulling her closer, "How on earth did you last as long as you did in that fancy household where you weren't allowed to curse or fight or get filthy dirty?"

That got a small chuckle out of her. "I got punished," she said simply, "A _lot._ My grandfather, and my papa before he died, both seemed to understand me a lot more than my mother did. Mama only wanted me to be a good bride."

The thought of Kagome as a bride, all done up in finery and daintily awaiting her husband-to-be at an altar, was equal parts charming and bewildering to him. "I think this life suits you much better," he said, leaning across to plant a kiss to the shell of her ear.

Her hand absently went up to ruffle through his hair. "I think so too," she said happily.

* * *

They spent only part of one night apart, and that was when Inuyasha openly answered General Naito's query in front of the entire company about who was ready to move to a more advanced division. He'd chosen four of the remaining eight in his dead-last trainees to move up, and he had to watch the anticipation and excitement fade instantly from her face when he didn't say her name.

When the assembly cleared and the soldiers scattered back off to different corners of the city, Kagome disappeared into the crowd, and it was only after scanning for several seconds that he spotted her, all but _stomping_ back to the lodge. His attempts to catch up were futile, and by the time he arrived, sprinting up the stairs after her, she'd already shut herself in her room and locked her door.

"Come on," he said, frustrated and not a little alarmed at this complete turnaround in her behavior toward him, "Let me in so I can explain." He rattled the door frame, which refused to budge. There was absolutely no answer.

He scoffed in indignation and retreated to his own room to pace back and forth, doing his level best to avoid destroying the room's furniture in his rage.

Finally, after what felt like hours, he could stand it no longer and went to knock at her door again.

"I'm ready," she hissed through the paper wall, and he realized with a little alarm that she was standing right behind the closed sliding panel. "You _know_ I'm ready. It's been months. I can beat any of those men in a fight, and you _know_ it."

Inuyasha sighed, letting his head hang low. "I know."

"Then why - "

"Would it offend you if I said it's because I want to keep an eye on you?"

He heard something break against a far wall.

 _That answers_ that _question._

"I work twice as hard to be just as good," she shouted, and he found himself self-consciously scanning his surroundings to make sure they weren't disturbing any nosy neighbors, "So when I get better, I want to be recognized for it. Sorry if that's selfish."

"It's not selfish," Inuyasha said dejectedly, "I'm the one who's being selfish in all this, and I know it. I just think…" He swallowed, feeling his face flush slightly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "...I think you and I are better when we fight alongside each other. That goes both ways."

The door slid open just a crack, and Kagome's face appeared, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Is that _really_ the reason," she said softly, sounding a little less hard-edged than before, "Or are you just saying that so I'll let you inside?"

"Can't it be both?" He leaned against the door frame, eyes silently begging her forgiveness yet again.

After a moment or two, she slid the door open the rest of the way and walked past him, arms folded, into his room right down the hall.

"I'm still pissed off," she mumbled, not meeting his eyes as he followed her inside and shut the door behind them.

"I know," he said quietly, "I should have spoken to you about it first. I didn't expect him to ask me that in front of everyone."

Her eyes still clearly showed the hurt and embarrassment, even as she allowed him to place a tender hand to her shoulder and squeeze gently.

"It's my fault," he whispered, "I'm sorry."

 _I just want you close to me, for as long as possible. Whatever way I can get it. No matter what happens, I want to make sure you're safe._

Wordlessly, she grabbed him by his shirtfront and pulled him down to her lips, kissing him hungrily, then she pushed him down onto his bed with much more force than usual. It seemed she was willing to forgive him if he let her take him down a notch first. Take it out of his hide.

Inuyasha knew he wasn't supposed to like the notion as much as he did, and as she climbed onto his lap, straddling him while violently shedding her shirt and chest wraps, he fought to keep from relishing in it too much.

* * *

General Naito called assembly again the next day, very early in the morning, and Kagome, confused but already awake, gently shook Okada awake. He grunted and grumbled as he always did when forced out of a deep sleep, but when she told him what was happening, he seemed to sober up immediately.

"What's this about?" she said softly, reaching for her chest bindings and starting to wrap them around herself.

"The daimyo's coming," he shrugged, "Must have made better time than we'd previously thought." Okada didn't sound the least bit happy about this prospect, and he heaved a great sigh and ran a hand through his long, dark hair, staring at the floor dejectedly.

Kagome felt herself freeze in place. "The daimyo?" she exclaimed, " _Here?_ "

Granted, she was certain Hojo's father wouldn't recognize her in this outfit, with her hair cut short and her face thinner and her body much more muscular, but it seemed dangerous nonetheless.

"You're from the daimyo's home village," Okada said, regarding her with an even look, "Aren't you? You worried he'll recognize you?"

"I don't _think_ he will," Kagome said hesitantly, "I've only met him once or twice, and I look a lot different than I used to."

He seemed to think it over for a moment as he pulled his pants over his waist. "Either way," he said finally, reaching for his shirt off the floor, "you have my full permission to linger near the back of the crowds. Better safe than sorry."

They left one at a time, as they'd grown accustomed to doing, with him leaving first and her sneaking out a few minutes later, making sure to open and shut her own bedroom door rather loudly in case anyone was bored enough to track their movements.

"Sota! Over here!" Miroku and Sango beckoned her to a seat near the front of the crowd, but when she silently shook her head and gestured further back, they got up and followed her.

"Long time no see, kid," Miroku said with a wink. "I take it you've been otherwise occupied the past few days? Poor Sango and I have been so lonely, with only each other for company." He seemed to gleefully ignore the venomous looks the other two gave him.

"Shut up, Miroku," Kagome said, scanning the crowd stressfully.

"What's going on?" Sango asked, brow furrowed with concern.

"The daimyo," Kagome said, her voice a hushed whisper to both of them, "He's from my home village, so I have to keep hidden, just in case."

She watched as in the center of the circle, General Naito stepped into view, followed closely by Okada and the other officers, all looking grim and all-business.

"Surprised the poor boy can still walk," Kagome heard Miroku whisper to Sango under his breath, and she sent a well-aimed elbow straight behind her into his ribs, relishing in his cry of pain.

General Naito raised his arms for quiet, and the noise of the crowd slowly died down.

"Our esteemed daimyo is here to inspect the troops," Naito said in a booming voice. "He's even expressed interest in funding a tournament while he's here, so if you've any interest in winning a cash purse with your exceptional skills, we'll discuss it in the morning."

"Good way to boost morale, I suppose," Miroku whispered glumly, "Considering how well things have been going thus far, maybe we need it."

"Please remain in your seats, and allow our capable leader to say a few words to all of you." Naito stepped aside and motioned a figure through the crowd.

Kagome's eyes widened as she saw that the elderly, stately-dressed daimyo wasn't alone. A young man was following solemnly and closely behind him. A young man with reddish-brown hair and a kind, open face.

Her gaze snapped across the crowd to Okada's, and she knew from his reaction that she must be pale as the snow around them. He stared at her, then at the young man, then back at her, and she knew from his frown that he understood.

It was _Hojo._

* * *

 _ **Sighhh. Well this is certainly a pickle, isn't it? He's BOUND to recognize her. Even with her boy cosplay.**_

 _ **This chapter was more of a fluffy interlude of adorable and I make no apologies for developing the cuteness further. Hahaha.**_

 ** _Kouga's new book, coming soon - "We Need to Talk About Ayame". He doin a concern, friends._**

 ** _I think I'm delaying dropping the hammer down on these characters because I just love them so much and they're my precious babies and should be PROTECC. Oh well. It's gotta happen sooner or later. Definitely sooner, unfortunately._**

 ** _Third chapter tonight! Gotta love my updating schedule. It's like nothing for a week or two and then BAM I'M A GODDAMN WRITING MACHINE AND YOU CAN'T STEM THE FLOW OF THIS FLOWWWW_**

 ** _Ahem. Anyways, you know the drill! Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks bbs I luv yews - meggz0rz_**


	15. Disappearances

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Fifteen**

 **DISAPPEARANCES**

* * *

The daimyo began to speak, but Kagome wasn't listening to any of it. Her eyes were on Hojo the entire time, watching him as he stood attentively at his father's right hand, observing the older man closely, dutifully. He was doing his best to learn, she knew.

It was like watching a scene from home, and she couldn't help the welling in her eyes or the lump in her throat.

If only she could just _talk_ to him. Ask him about their village, about her family, about how he was holding up with the war raging around him...he'd always been too kind, too _good_ for horrific realities such as this. He was likely having to grow up just as fast as she was.

But there was no way to ask him anything without revealing herself immediately, and the thought just about broke her heart all over again.

He had no idea. She'd just _disappeared_ on him, hadn't she? Without a word, without any clue. He'd probably been so hurt, so worried for her.

The gnawing, guilty feeling was almost too much to bear.

"Are you alright?" She felt Miroku gently prod at her shoulder blade and whisper under his breath.

Kagome answered with just a nod, not turning around.

Finally, the daimyo finished his speech, to applause from the entire assembly, and Kagome shook herself and joined in for a few claps and then, without a word to Miroku and Sango, slipped into the dissipating crowd and all but sprinted back to her room at the lodge.

She had to stay out of sight. That was all she could do. Even if it nearly killed her to do so.

* * *

"I must say," the daimyo said sagely as he watched the array of troops scatter every which direction, back to no doubt enjoy the last few hours of furlough they'd been given, "I'm impressed, General Naito. And I'm sure the shogun would be too, if he could see them."

Inuyasha watched Naito's grin widen with pride. "They're a good bunch," he said, "All thanks to my capable officers." He gestured at Inuyasha and the other officers, who were all standing in a semi-circle and looked mostly flattered at the compliment.

The young man who Inuyasha knew must be the famous Hojo spoke up. "I hope their strength is enough," he said solemnly, "The youkai are merciless, as they've shown time and time again."

"Hojo," the daimyo admonished gently, "We have to keep faith here. We must remain optimistic that we can defeat this evil, just as we did the last time." He turned back to the remainder of the group at large. "My apologies for my son's gloomy mood, gentlemen. He's lost a great deal to this war already."

Hojo turned red and stared at the snow at his feet.

Naito and the other officers all nodded and murmured vague words of understanding. Inuyasha did not. He remained still. There was something gnawing at the back of his mind, something he needed the answer to.

* * *

When the cityscape of Ryusei came into view, illuminated by the setting sun, Ayame looked ready to just charge right in. Kouga closed his hand over her wrist to pull her back, and the look of _pure venom_ she gave him briefly was staggering, even though it faded again almost instantly.

"Wait," he said, frowning and once again wondering what was wrong with her, "We can't just burst in there and light the place on fire like last time. The weapons are hidden well; we know that. So we watch, and we wait. Wait for some sort of clue. I have to find Inuyasha, one way or another."

Ayame sighed and huffily reclined back on the tree branch, crossing her long legs and folding her arms behind her head.

"Something to say?" Kouga asked testily, pointedly keeping his gaze away from her bare thighs.

She just narrowed her green eyes and shook her head, gently nudging at his knee with her shapely ankle. "You'd better get going, Lord Kouga."

"You'll stay here?" he asked, "Out of sight?"

Rolling her eyes, she nodded again. One of her hands slipped from behind her head and came to rest on her pale, flat stomach, her fingers drumming on her skin impatiently.

Kouga, feeling very out of sorts and very concerned at this shift in her behavior once again, opened his mouth to speak again but thought better of it. With a last confused look at the grumpy, bored expression on Ayame's face, he gave a springing leap into the next treetop, heading for the buildings in the distance.

* * *

"Do you think she's alright?" Sango said after yet another satisfying dinner, rubbing at the back of her neck as she and Miroku walked through the snowy courtyard. She was wearing her pink dress again, the one he'd first seen her in, and she looked absolutely lovely.

Miroku wasn't sure how to answer that. Kagome had never been in more danger of exposure until now, and it was no doubt terrifying. She'd been so pale, so silent as she'd watched the daimyo speak, and then she'd lit out of there as fast as her legs could carry her.

"We have to trust Kagome," he said finally, "She's stronger than she knows. She'll know how to get through this, and if she needs our help, we'll be there."

Sango looked up at him, a soft smile on her face. "Surprisingly heartfelt, coming from you," she teased.

Miroku frowned. "I _do_ have my positive traits, Lady Sango, I promise." Surely all this time they'd spent in each other's company over the past few days had told her _something_ about his character. Something not terrible. Even though most of it was, in fact, terrible, and that was why he'd been shipped off to a monastery in the first place.

At his protestations, she gave a quiet laugh, patting him once on the arm. And then she _nodded in agreement._ "I'm starting to see that."

Miroku cursed the pounding in his chest and tried to keep calm as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and continued down the path as if nothing had happened.

She had no clue, did she? It was _maddening._ He could only shake his head, cursing his own luck as she strolled along without a care in the world.

But then...

Sango stopped right in her tracks. It was as if the chill in the night air had suddenly gotten to her, and she was frozen in place.

"Sango?" Miroku placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

When she didn't answer her, he stepped around to study her face.

Her brown eyes were wide with terror. She was shaking.

"Sango," he said, confused, trying to assuage whatever was going on with her. He placed a hand atop her left one, and she immediately seized hold of it with her wounded right arm, wincing with the effort. Her fingers gripped his like a vice, enough to make him grimace.

Her voice, when she spoke, was barely above a whisper. "Oh gods."

It was sheer instinct that made his hand encircle her protectively. "What - "

And then he saw it, darting through the alleyway a few blocks in front of them, unseen by anyone who wasn't paying attention, and no one was.

A wolf.

Miroku immediately seized Sango by the shoulders. "We have to tell the others. We have to find Captain Okada."

She clearly wasn't listening. Despite her frightened, traumatized trembling, she'd already reached into the small bag at her waist, clenching her jaw in a wild rage.

"Sango!" he cried, shaking her, "Look at me. I'm coming with you. I'm with you to the end. But we have to _warn_ people."

He wasn't sure if it had registered for a moment, but she shakily removed her hand from her bag of weapons. A tear flooded her eye and dripped to her cheek as she hesitantly nodded.

* * *

"Would you care to share a meal with me, Captain Okada?" Hojo asked brightly. After an exhausting tour and explanation of the camp's goings-on and daily rituals, apparently the kid had taken a liking to him. Inuyasha had no idea why; it wasn't like he'd been _friendly._ There was something about meeting someone who might know more about Kagome than he did that was unnerving. Like a sort of _challenge._

Why he felt challenged by what could only be a childhood friend, he had no idea.

" _Hojo," she said. She said his name the very first time you met. When you were carrying her in your arms._

The thoughts were maddening, but they were ridiculous.

To stave them off, he defiantly accepted Hojo's invitation.

"There's a fairly good restaurant on the corner, there," Inuyasha indicated, "Or, if you want, the local brothel has the best roasted meat I've ever tasted."

He wasn't sure why he'd suggested it. Perhaps it was a test, just as he felt tested. A gauge of this pampered young man's true character, even though he wasn't sure why it mattered so much. There was something about Hojo that Inuyasha found unnerving.

The fact that Hojo's name had been the first word Inuyasha had ever heard spoken from Kagome's lips probably had at least _something_ to do with it.

At Inuyasha's statement, Hojo simply blushed deeply and shook his head. "Oh no," he said, "That wouldn't be fitting, Captain. To go into such an establishment."

Inuyasha smirked. "Loose women aren't your style?"

Hojo shook his head again, even more emphatically. His brow was furrowed, and his eyes were far away as he answered. "I...I have a fiancee."

"Oh?" Inuyasha's smile involuntarily widened. "Well, I'm sure she'll be pleased to know you're thinking of her even now."

At this, Hojo looked positively devastated. And Inuyasha's satisfaction died in his throat.

Before the young man even opened his mouth to speak again, Inuyasha knew exactly what he was going to say.

"She's...she's _missing._ We had to evacuate the village, and by the time someone told me she was gone…" Hojo paused to swallow, looking as if he were going to cry. "Her family was frantic. I've been searching ever since. Everywhere my father will allow me to accompany him, I've gone. I _have_ to find her. She must have been spirited away by the youkai, kidnapped for leverage….but wouldn't they have contacted us by now?"

In the midst of saying this, Hojo shook his head, as if he were fighting with himself. "No, she's not dead," he said softly, "She would fight. She's always been strong and beautiful and perfect. She wouldn't let them kill her so easily."

Inuyasha had no words to offer. He had the curious sensation of feeling as if he were outside his own body, his own mind. It was like someone else was speaking when he finally felt his lips moving, and sound coming out. "What was her name?"

"Her name _is_ Kagome," Hojo said promptly, snapping his gaze up to Inuyasha's, "She has long black hair, and deep blue eyes. She would have been wearing finery, something a lady would wear. Have you seen her?" The desperation he exuded was thoroughly unsettling.

" _Hojo?" she'd asked. As if that were the face she wanted to see._

Inuyasha felt utterly hollow, and once again, like his voice wasn't his own, he spoke. "I'm sorry," he said softly, "I haven't seen anyone like that."

Hojo seemed to be expecting this answer, and nodded quietly.

* * *

Kagome found she couldn't concentrate on anything. Not the book in her hands, not the stretches and handstands she'd tried to occupy herself with on the floor of her room, not even her own reflection in the mirror on the wall.

She'd tried to study her own face objectively, tried to see if there was _any_ way she could possibly show herself in public around Hojo without him instantly recognizing her. The hair was different, of course; where there had been long, silky tresses given the utmost care and attention there was now a wild, wavy mess that was just barely long enough to tie off her shoulders. The angles of her face had altered a bit with exercise and a leaner diet, and her cheekbones were slightly more prominent, her complexion rosier and more windblown. There were even a few _freckles_ on her cheeks and nose, freckles Kagome knew that her mother would have all but shrieked at while lecturing her to stay out of the sun, that well bred young ladies kept their skin dewy and lily-white…

But it was still undeniably _her._ Was it enough to fade into a crowd and avoid Hojo's notice? She certainly wasn't sure, and that uncertainty was dangerous.

 _If Hojo recognizes me_ …

She knew he'd run up to her, his eyes wide and no doubt filling with tears of joy, and he'd immediately try to take her into his arms. He might be hurt, might even be angry that she'd run away, that she'd lied to him and her entire family, but he'd of course push all that aside and just resolve to get her under his protection, get her back in her old clothes, get her back to the safety of wherever the village had fled to.

If Kagome had been as much of a failure at the soldier's life as she'd originally seemed to be, all those months ago, then this moment would have been the perfect time to admit that she'd made a mistake and just allow herself to be taken back to the family she missed so dearly with little to no consequences. Once the military leaders realized she was a member of one of the oldest and richest families in the shogunate, imprisonment and death for her deception and trickery would be off the table.

But now? She believed in the cause so strongly, believed in protecting and defending the lives of her fellow countrymen, and she genuinely knew her skills would be of help in the dark days to come. Woman or not, she was becoming a formidable fighter, a fact that excited her more each day, and the idea of giving her life in battle to save even one more human...Well, she understood now why her grandfather, arthritic and ancient as he was, had seemed so bound and determined to report even when he wasn't required to.

And then there was the matter of Okada.

Kagome didn't want to leave him. Even in the face of insurmountable odds, she knew her place was at his side, at his back, protecting him in the heat of battle and being protected by him in return. If this ordeal ended in her death, it would be okay, because she had met him and had tasted fire and lightning and blood and tears and it was all so glorious, so exhilarating.

Because she loved him so.

With a small smile to herself, she wrapped her arms around her own shoulders and closed her eyes.

No, there would be no fleeing back to Hojo's protection. She was in this, and she was in it to the end.

A knock at her door jarred her out of her introspection, and she haltingly called out, "Who is it?"

"Kagome, it's us." It was Miroku, and his voice was grave and muffled.

She flew to her feet and ran to unlock the door, to find both Miroku and Sango standing there. They both looked a shaken, but Sango in particular looked as if she'd seen a ghost. She was white as a sheet, trembling, her good arm gripping her injured one so tightly Kagome almost thought to ask if she'd hurt it again.

"What's wrong?"

" A wolf," Miroku said after a moment when it was clear Sango couldn't find the words, "Larger than usual. In one of the alleys in town. Could be nothing, but - "

"Have you told Okada? Or anyone else, for that matter?" Kagome had immediately turned on her heel and was rushing to tie her hair up and gather up her bow and quiver. There wasn't a moment to lose.

"We haven't told Okada," Miroku said, "We assumed he'd be with you. Do you know where - "

"I don't," Kagome said quickly, rolling her oversized sleeves back some to allow for greater movement and tying her obi tighter into place before slipping her sword into it, "I haven't seen him since this morning."

"It might be nothing, like I said," Miroku said, placing a hand on Sango's shoulder as the poor girl just stood there looking utterly traumatized, "but we thought maybe Okada would know best what to do."

Kagome closed her eyes for a moment and thought. There was no way they had time to search every possible nook and cranny for him; the sheer size of Ryusei made that impossible with time of the essence.

"Right," she said with determination, turning to the other two, "Miroku, you come with me and we'll try and track the wolf. Sango, go try to find Okada, and tell him what's happening."

At this, Sango's face sprang into life, and her brow furrowed in anger. "You can't just shove me to the sidelines," she cried, "Not if it _is_ the wolf youkai, back again - "

Kagome held up a hand, an apologetic look on her face. "You're right," she said quickly, "I'm sorry. Miroku, _you_ go find Okada. Sango and I will look for the wolf."

Now it was Miroku's turn to look outraged, but he seemed to take one look at Sango and decided against speaking out. He quickly turned to leave, but not before giving Kagome a severe look over his shoulder. "Watch out for each other," he said, and Kagome knew he was really telling _her_ to keep an eye on Sango in the girl's still-injured state, "Keep to the rooftops if you can. I'll find you as soon as possible. I promise."

Kagome just nodded, and he disappeared.

The two girls, one disguised as a young man, one wearing a pink kimono with her dark hair hanging long and loose around her shoulders, seemed to take one quick breath in unison and lit out down the stairs into the night.

* * *

"You okay?"

"Fine," Sango gritted out, pulling herself atop the slanted rooftop with all the strength in her left arm she could muster. She had to save the strength in her right for the perfect shot with her boomerang. It was likely she only had one good throw in her right now. Of all the terrible, shitty luck. "Do you see anything?"

Kagome, her oversized clothing whipping about in the chilly winter wind, just shook her head as she perched on the roof's edge and frantically scanned the surrounding alleyways. "Nothing," she whispered, "Let's keep moving."

They leapt across tiled roofs like wildcats, taking special care to land as lightly as possible.

No screams yet, no signs of disturbance.

Sango was beginning to think she and Miroku had seen a ghost, a phantom sent to torment them, to remind them of what they'd lost to the flames only weeks ago. But she kept her hand firmly around her leather bag, ready to grab for her bone boomerang at a moment's notice.

And finally, Kagome spotted it, narrowing her eyes and crouching low as she drew an arrow back with expert skill.

"There," she whispered, her voice barely audible, trailing the wolf's path with her nocked arrow. Sango craned her neck to see, and sure enough, there it was, keeping to the shadows and sniffing the ground almost obsessively.

Like it was _searching_ for something.

"What is it doing?" Sango whispered.

Kagome shook her head, like she had no idea.

Neither of them moved.

* * *

Inuyasha was well into his third cup of sake and only just starting to relax a little. Hojo, meanwhile, had seemed determined to keep up with him drink for drink, and was looking a little worse for wear.

 _Stupid, fancy little..._ Inuyasha sighed and shoved the anger back down again. It wasn't this kid's fault, not really. If anything, Inuyasha should _understand_ why he was so devoted. Why he would never give up on Kagome.

But the thought of this rich, sheltered _boy_ even _deigning_ to consider himself worthy of her...it boiled Inuyasha's blood just to imagine it.

 _As if_ you _even deserve to glance in her direction,_ his mind said immediately. _If we're comparing notes on who's worthy of her, you're last on the list._

His fist closed tighter around his cup and he drained it without another word.

It was his curse, he supposed, that by asking any questions at all he'd seemed to indicate to Hojo that he was some sort of shoulder to cry on, because the kid just _wouldn't shut up._

"Have you ever been in love, Captain?" Hojo said, his words slurring together as he glumly set his chin in his hand, forgetting any sense of decorum or table manners with every renewed drink.

Inuyasha snorted derisively and said nothing. He was too irritated right now, with anyone and everyone, to wax sentimental about the matter. Or to reflect on it too closely. His chest was hurting enough as it was.

"Well, _I_ have," Hojo declared, finishing off his own drink and spilling some down his ornate shirtfront in the process, "And I'm going to find her. I just know it. And I'll take her home and never let her out of my sight again. And I'll make her happy, and we'll have children, and…" He trailed off, looking quite blue again, and reached for the ever-lightening pitcher in the center of the table.

Inuyasha gave a slow, shaky breath to quell the need to snap out a furious outburst. _Take her home and never let her out of your sight again, huh? Worked so well the first time. If you think Kagome will_ ever _be happy just keeping a home and hosting dinner parties and playing housewife, you're an even bigger fool than you appear on first glance._

And then, somewhere else, swirling around with the self-doubt and the loathing and the petty, misplaced jealousy, there was another voice in his head, an angrier one, a more insistent one.

 _Mine. Mine. MINE._

"If you'll excuse me," Inuyasha said very quickly as he all but leapt to his feet and backed away, trying to keep from diving over the table and pounding the oblivious little ponce's face into a pulp. "I'd better get back."

Hojo looked a little disappointed, but nodded in understanding and thanked Inuyasha for all his kindness in showing him around.

"If you do see her," he said softly, his large eyes shining so openly, so full of hope, "You will let me know somehow, won't you?"

Inuyasha allowed him a single short nod and left as fast as his legs could carry him.

 _MINE. Let the kid know who's really in charge here. MINE. Kill. MINE. MINE. MINE._

Once he was outside the restaurant's walls and back into the frosty air, Inuyasha gave a shaky exhale and all but flung his back to the wall, trying to catch his breath. There was a burning sensation at the corners of his eyes, and his mouth was dry as his tongue ran over his dull canine teeth. He pounded a single closed fist into the wall, willing himself to calm down.

 _What the hell is wrong with me?_ He had been trying to see the whole thing with a clear mind, hell, the second he'd seen Kagome's eyes in the crowd that morning he'd had his suspicions in the back of his mind. And here he was, on the verge of losing it completely on someone who would have no idea it was coming or the reason for it.

The same blind rage he'd felt when Jaken had insulted his parentage all those months ago, when he'd lunged at the imp and gone for his throat -

"Captain Okada!"

With a growl, Inuyasha looked up toward the approaching voice.

It was Miroku, looking entirely out of breath and desperate.

"What do you want?"

The monk skidded to a stop. "We saw a wolf," he said, clearly trying to keep his voice low to avoid spooking anyone else around and causing a panic, "In the city. Running through the alleyways. I don't think it's attacked anyone yet, but - "

"What color was it?" Inuyasha demanded.

Miroku looked very surprised at this line of questioning, and Inuyasha inwardly cursed himself for being so stupidly obvious. "...Brown," Miroku said, "Sango and Kagome are tracking it now from the rooftops, but Kagome said I should come find you - "

Inuyasha had already started running past him.

"Alright, so that's fine," he heard the monk grumble behind him, trying to keep pace, "Just ignore me!"

* * *

"Enough of this," Sango hissed as they continued stalking the wolf from above, "Just kill it and let's be done with it!"

Kagome could tell that just the sight of the animal was unsettling to Sango, not that she could blame her, but she didn't fire. "It's behaving strangely," she said, "It's not attacking anyone."

"I don't care _what_ it's doing," Sango said angrily, starting to reach into her weapons bag.

"Wait," Kagome said suddenly, holding her bow stock still as she peered down into the alley below.

The wolf had stopped sniffing the ground and had pointed its gaze across the street.

Where Okada had just sprinted into view, with Miroku trailing along right behind.

Kagome watched the wolf stand motionless, staring both men down, and she prepared to fire. Surely it was going to lunge.

But instead, it just gave a small growl, then turned in a slow semicircle and sprinted off in the other direction, towards the outer border of the city and the woods beyond.

 _What in the world?_

As quickly as possible, Kagome climbed down from the roof and tried to help Sango do the same as best she could. Miroku and Okada came forward to assist, and it was into Miroku's waiting arms that Sango dropped. There was a brief moment of silence as he gingerly set her back onto her feet, and then Okada spoke as he drew his sword.

"You three stay here. I'll follow the wolf."

The entire remainder of the party erupted in protest, Kagome loudest of all.

"Shut up!" Okada snapped, and Miroku and Sango both exchanged a look and fell silent.

But Kagome wasn't about to take this lying down. She closed a white-knuckled fist around Okada's sleeve, forcing him to direct his angry glare at her.

"The last time you went off on your own after the wolf youkai," she said softly, her jaw clenched sternly even as she wanted to fall into his arms, "You almost didn't come back."

Okada's glance went to her hand on his sleeve, and she swore his defiant look softened a little as he replied. "This is _one_ wolf," he said, "I'll be alright."

"There's never just _one_ wolf," Sango said insistently, the tremor returning to her voice again.

Okada sighed. "You're right," he said, addressing Sango with a surprisingly gentle tone, "So you need to alert the others and make a perimeter. Protect the civilians and the refugees. Get everyone indoors."

Sango and Miroku moved to do as he said, taking off down the snow-covered street.

Kagome stepped forward. "I'm coming with you," she said stubbornly, her bow clenched in her right hand and his shirt sleeve in her left.

"No you aren't." He tried to pull away, but she held fast, stepping closer to him.

Kagome swallowed, feeling a lump in her throat. "Better together," she said softly, "Better when we fight alongside each other. That's what you told me. Were you lying?"

She watched his handsome features crumple in defeat, and he seemed to curse under his breath as he screwed his eyes shut and pressed his forehead to hers, his hand cradling the back of her head. "No," he said finally, looking very ill at ease, "I wasn't. Come on, let's get going."

* * *

Kouga knew when his wolf returned that it would only be a matter of time before Inuyasha arrived. "Good boy," he said, fondly scratching at the beast's ears, "You found him quickly."

Up higher in the tree, he heard Ayame move into a crouch, and he trained his eyes upward to see her leaning forward and peering into the distance. "And who's _this?_ " she whispered gleefully, hungrily, seemingly more to herself than to Kouga.

He followed her gaze to see Inuyasha, still in human disguise, making his way at a sprint through the trees.

And behind him…

 _Is that the boy who shot Hakkaku in the back?_

* * *

Inuyasha's mind was racing as he tried to figure out what to do. Kagome kept pace just behind him, ducking through trees and leaping over tangled underbrush, looking determined and not a bit scared.

 _If this_ is _Kouga, if this isn't just some random wolf…_

If it was Kouga, at least, they wouldn't be attacked. Kouga would listen to reason. Kouga might even play along.

That would likely prove to be easier than trying to persuade Kagome to stay behind and leave him to follow the wolf himself. Even if she agreed to it, he knew her well enough to know she never seemed to remember even his most insistent orders.

Inuyasha squinted in the darkness, hearing Kagome's pants of effort just behind him. Curse these useless human eyes. He saw two shapes in the branches of the huge tree just across the clearing, and several wolflike shapes at the tree's roots, but was unable to make out just who it was.

"Ow," Kagome hissed as a branch caught her cheek. She shoved herself out of the woods and went to stand beside him, and he couldn't help the instinctive arm he put in front of her protectively.

She scoffed a little. "What are you - "

 _She can't see them at all, can she?_

"Be quiet," he snapped under his breath, taking a tentative step forward, sword in hand.

* * *

 _Oh, isn't this precious? A human_ female.

Ayame blinked in surprise, then narrowed her eyes. "Are...are you _sure,_ my lord?" she whispered. It was _dressed_ as a boy. Small in stature, certainly, but wearing a boy's topknot and uniform, even if the clothes didn't exactly fit.

 _I can tell even from here._

"Who are you talking to?" Kouga appeared on the branch next to her, his brow furrowed as he kept his eyes toward the approaching human figures advancing at them in the pitch blackness.

 _Will you help me with something? I'm curious, and I'd like a question answered. Can you help me answer it?_

"Yes, my lord," she said, almost mouthing the words silently.

 _Ayame, my darling, isn't this going to be_ fun? _You can play all you wish. All you have to do is kill that girl. Right now._

Ayame bit her lower lip, feeling a flush to her chest and face, and gave a whimper of desire. "Mmmph."

Kouga's arm went to her shoulder, and she growled and shrank back.

 _Will you take care of this for me, Ayame? Will you make me proud?_

Ayame moaned softly, feeling that strange dizzy sensation again. "Yes," she said softly, eyes fluttering, "Yes, my lord."

Before Kouga could even move again, she leapt from the tree.

Straight for the human girl.

* * *

 _ **O shit.**_

 _ **Guess now we're a little closer to figuring out what's wrong with Ayame...**_

 _ **Also I feel kinda bad for poor Hojo. I mean, I usually do. He means so well. But in this case, if Kagome HADN'T run away, ohhh mannn hahaha she'd have run him ragged once she got bored. They're just not well suited for each other, are they? Not that he knows that. He pure sweet boi.**_

 _ **Inuyasha's temper seems to be worsening, doesn't it? Hmmmm**_

 _ **Love you guys! Please leave me a review. I love reviews. It's nice to know you guys generally seem to be enjoying this so far.**_

 _ **Laters! - meggz0rz**_


	16. Blood Trails

**_WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER. THIS IS WHERE SHIT STARTS TO GET REAL, FOLKS. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YA._**

* * *

 **Oblivion**

 **Chapter Sixteen**

 **BLOOD TRAILS**

* * *

Okada screaming her name was the only warning she got, and luckily her reflexes were spot on. It was a split second's notice Kagome had to stumble backward with her bow raised, and she fired into the female wolf youkai's shoulder, sending her spinning backward in midair and rolling to the snowy earth.

A snarling scream escaped the redhead's lips as she shook herself and glared at Kagome with brightly shining eyes the color of summer grass. The female stood, yanking the arrow out of her shoulder and tossing it to the ground, growling the entire time.

Kagome scrambled to nock another arrow as Okada tried to shove her behind him. But the she-wolf was twice as fast as they both were, and it was as if she blinked out of existence and then reappeared.

Right behind Kagome. Okada whirled around, his eyes wide and frantic, and Kagome felt the cold chill of anticipation at what she knew must be coming.

She dropped to her back on the ground, and watched long white claws swipe furiously at the air where the back of her neck had been.

And then she flung herself back to her feet and scrambled backward, keeping as low to the ground as possible, never taking her eyes off the female youkai in front of them.

Without seemingly any warning, Okada _lunged._

* * *

"Get away from her!" Inuyasha snarled as he tackled Ayame roughly to the snow-covered grass, entwining his hands in her hair and slamming her head to the ground a second time. Ayame just screamed with fury, using her considerable strength to shove him away. He felt her claws puncturing his skin as he was sent flying backwards; nothing deep, nothing to worry about.

He sat up on the ground, pushing himself onto his feet as he wiped at the back of his mouth with his forearm. "What the _hell?_ " he spat, feeling his arms trembling with sheer nerve. _Kouga's female, just attacking us like this without warning, without reason?_ He'd expected a skirmish, hell, there would _have_ to be one to save face and not blow his cover, but Ayame was using lethal force.

But not on _him._ She had immediately targeted Kagome.

"Okada!"

Without needing to even glance behind him, he immediately ducked his head to the side in anticipation. Kagome fired an arrow past his shoulder, and it hit Ayame dead-on in her bare stomach. Ayame flinched, grimacing in pain, and yanked the arrow out again before rounding on Kagome again.

He heard Kagome draw her sword from its sheath.

Ayame, breathing heavily, just gave a wicked smile and lunged forward, right past his shoulder.

"Kagome! Stay low!"

* * *

The redheaded girl was impossibly fast, and Kagome fought the urge to shrink back, anticipating the impact.

She held the point of her curved blade low, as she had been taught, and barely managed to raise it in time to glance off of the razor sharp claws that flew towards her face. The youkai female's attacks were frenzied, relying on sheer speed and power more than any technique, but it was all Kagome could do to block.

There sounded a banshee-like scream as claws once again raked downward at her face, and as Kagome ducked under the swing she could feel them just graze against her topknot, severing hairs where her temple had been a moment before. With a grunt of effort, she brought her sword level to parry, just as a slender leg with the strength of a boulder collided with the back of her calves and swept her own legs out from under her.

 _Joke's on you, you demonic bitch. I know how to fall down._

Unable to keep the satisfied smirk off her face, Kagome caught herself with one arm and sprang back upright, twirling her blade up and feeling it connect with flesh.

But unfortunately, the redhead leapt aside at the last second, and with another feral cry as she clutched her sliced-open arm, she unleashed another kick to Kagome's sternum.

Kagome flew back several feet, smashing into a tree trunk with a cry of surprise. Her chest and ribs suddenly burned with a searing pain, but she knew she couldn't sit there and try to gather her thoughts, because she was watching the redheaded youkai's muscles tense against the ground as she prepared to lunge again.

 _Where's my sword oh god I dropped it it's over there I dropped my fucking sword -_

"I said, get away from her, you _bitch!_ "

Out of nowhere, it seemed, an armored shin collided with the back of the youkai female's head with a crack like thunder. With a cry of pain, the girl stumbled forward onto her knees, hands clutching the back of her skull.

Okada looked more furious than Kagome had ever seen him as he leapt forward, past the girl's prone form, and pulled her roughly to her feet. His black hair hung wildly around his face, and his teeth were bared, almost looking sharper than usual. As Kagome stood, grasping his sleeve just briefly for balance, he met her eyes only once, and then returned his attention to the redhaired girl, covering Kagome's body with his own.

The youkai shook her head to get herself together, and the glare she fixed them both with was terrifying.

The girl prepared to leap again. Okada's voice rang out.

"Kagome, _UP!_ "

As if on instinct, Kagome jumped up and threw her arms around a low-hanging branch to swing herself upward and out of the way, as Okada, yelling with effort, caught the wolf girl's waist from the side, lifting her up over his head and throwing her down face-first into the snow with a sickening thud. He put his knee to the back of the girl's neck and glanced upward into the tree.

"Are you - "

Kagome started to say that yes, she was fine, and then suddenly yet another fast-moving shape appeared.

Right behind Okada.

"Behind you!" she screamed, and he turned around just in time to be punched squarely in the face and knocked into the very same tree trunk that Kagome had become so acquainted with earlier.

The newcomer was a young man, who looked to be about their age, with hair as dark as Okada's pulled up into a high ponytail at the back of his head. If it weren't for the slightly pointed ears, the tail, and the sheer otherworldly aura, Kagome might have thought him just another handsome human warrior.

But she knew better.

"Okada!" she screamed, letting go of the branch and falling roughly to her feet beside him. He was seated in the snow, propped up on only one hand while the other was pressed to his jaw. Blood poured from his mouth and trickled between his fingers.

When she reached towards him, trying to shield him from the male youkai standing over him with fists clenched, Okada shoved his hand out and pushed her backward wordlessly. "No," he said, his voice muffled slightly behind his hand, "Get back!"

She froze in her tracks, fearless and terrified all at once. She watched them stare each other down, the wolf youkai's ice blue glare fixed on Okada's indigo one.

It seemed despite all their training, all their rapport on the battlefield, neither she nor Okada was paying attention to where the redheaded wolf girl had gotten to, and maybe when she thought about it later, Kagome would laugh and shake her head at their foolishness.

She heard the noise first.

It reminded her of when she was a little girl, when she and her mother had sat in the garden and watched the sunset. Her mother had been heavily pregnant with Sota then, and had smiled so warmly and softly at a young Kagome as she gently cut into a piece of fruit with a tiny blade, handing over a delicious, juicy slice. The cherry blossoms had fallen all around them, and Kagome had leapt about trying to catch them in her open hands, the taste of ripe, sweet fruit on her tongue and sunshine in her heart.

Apparently, when human flesh was sliced and the environment was quiet enough to hear it, it was very similar to the sound of a fruit skin being punctured by her mother's small knife.

Slowly, Kagome cast her eyes downward to her own stomach.

 _Oh,_ there's _my sword,_ she thought dreamily.

She felt the blade retract back through her midsection, but felt no pain, though she was fairly sure the pain would come soon.

And for some reason, her first thought in reaction to the liquid gushing through her hands was that all this blood would no doubt ruin _these_ clothes too. Her life was certainly getting expensive, wasn't it?

The blood felt warm between her fingers, and as she sank to her knees and closed her eyes, she was suddenly back in a hot spring somewhere, wrapped in Okada's arms and kissing him softly, warm and safe and deliriously happy.

She opened her eyes just once more, as her cheek pressed gently into the cold snow, and there he was, in front of her, that proportional, fine-featured face of the man she loved so dearly.

No sound was reaching her ears anymore, and so her last coherent thought before everything faded to black was just how beautiful he looked, even when he looked to be screaming.

* * *

"Ayame!" Kouga looked at her, and then at Inuyasha, and then back to her. He seemed horrified. So surprised at her actions. What did he know? He knew _nothing_ about her, never had. Not like...

Ayame watched the human girl slump to the ground, then with a small huff of breath turned to the side and tossed the katana blade to the ground, flicking red blooms of color across the snow.

"I did it, my lord," she whispered, running her hands up and down her arms.

 _So you did, my darling girl._ She shivered again as his warmth ran through her, as if he were currently holding her closely in his arms from all those miles away. _Now look at Inuyasha for me._

She did as he asked, and when her eyes lit upon the prince, she heard Naraku start to chuckle in her head.

Inuyasha had scrambled through the snow toward the human girl's red-stained form and was cradling her in his arms, screaming what must be her name. He pressed his forehead to hers and laid his human hand to the side of her human face.

 _Ah_ , Naraku said, _Just as I suspected. This is just_ precious. _Prince Sesshomaru is going to be so surprised when I tell him. I hope the poor man doesn't lose his temper._

Ayame wasn't sure she understood, but she knew she took comfort that Naraku did. He seemed to understand everything, didn't he? His presence inside her was so calming, so reassuring, enough to make her ignore the fact that Kouga was shaking her wildly by the shoulders and shouting some sort of incoherent mess that she couldn't be bothered to make out.

She just kept her eyes toward Inuyasha, doing as she was told. Being the good girl Naraku knew she was.

It was only when Inuyasha's gaze snapped up to meet hers that she felt any pang of uncertainty.

 _Oh, dear._ Naraku didn't sound too concerned. _Seems the poor boy is out of his mind. Won't this be_ fun?

"M-My lord?" Ayame said hesitantly, feeling herself starting to shake as Inuyasha drew himself to his feet, clenching fists that were now covered to the wrist in the human girl's blood.

Kouga seemed to catch the fear in Ayame's eyes, but he barely had time to glance over his shoulder before they were both thrown apart by Inuyasha's animalistic lunge. Kouga rolled away, and out of Ayame's line of sight, and then Inuyasha upon her. His fist caught Ayame in the temple like a blacksmith's hammer, and as she toppled to the side he straddled her petite form and began raining blows into her young face, his armored knuckles crunching wetly against her hard demon skull. "You vicious - _evil_ \- "

Ayame flailed at him, trying and failing to beat him away from her, but each blow to the head was weakening her depth perception and strength.

 _Even as a human, he's winning. He must have loved that human bitch very much indeed._

"My lord," Ayame whimpered, feeling herself starting to choke on her own blood as Inuyasha snarled in feral rage and grabbed her by the throat, slamming her head backward onto the icy ground. She could just see through her clouding vision that there were tears in his eyes. "My lord, please... _help me…_ "

There was no answer, and Ayame felt a cold chill grip her heart as she realized she was about to die.

Suddenly, a fist swung out of nowhere, colliding with Inuyasha's face and knocking him several yards across the field.

Choking on the air that rushed back into her lungs, Ayame turned her head to try and glance upward. Her face was soaked with sweat and blood and tears and her own drool, and moving at all was a struggle.

Kouga crouched over her protectively, his face a mask of confusion and rage and betrayal and so many other emotions that Ayame didn't have the strength to try to identify. He merely laid a clawed hand atop her forehead to smooth her bangs off of her bruised, bloodied face, and then glared across the field to where Inuyasha was standing up again and drawing his sword.

"Stay still," he whispered, not looking at her, and his voice was gentler than she would have expected.

All she could do was give a small whimper through a throat that was no doubt swollen and purple.

* * *

"What's with the sword, Inuyasha?" Kouga growled, stalking toward him, eyes burning with fury, "Going to try to kill _me_ , too?"

"If I have to," Inuyasha said, his limbs shaking, his grip on the katana's handle slipping in his sweat-soaked hands.

 _No that's not sweat, that's blood...Ayame's and…_

A sudden nausea overtook him, and he fought it off as the sword slid from his grasp and fell silently into the snowbank beside him.

Kouga leapt forward in a single bound and was suddenly right in front of him, rearing back to strike.

Inuyasha's speed was no match for Kouga's in this human state, but still he found the wherewithal to strike first. His bloody fist smashed into Kouga's jaw with enough force to halt a full-grown stallion, and even seemed to make the demon falter momentarily. With a snarl, Kouga repaid the favor burying his own clenched fist into Inuyasha's stomach, knocking the wind from him.

Inuyasha sank to his knees with a harsh cough, bracing himself on his bloodstained hands. He was leaving pinkish patterns in the snow wherever he came in contact with it.

 _I leave blood trails wherever I go. Trails of_ her _blood._

When Kouga punched him again, he didn't even resist, and so it was that his own blood flew out of his mouth to speckle the snow alongside Kagome's.

"You'd have _killed_ Ayame," Kouga was growling as he shoved Inuyasha backward onto the ground, "And for what? To protect your cover in front of that human?"

"Your little bitch _murdered_ that girl," Inuyasha spat, feeling crushed under the weight of his own breastplate as Kouga planted a foot into his stomach to hold him still, "For _no_ reason."

 _Murdered._ It sounded so final, didn't it? There was no coming back from a wound that bled like that one. Inuyasha hadn't wanted to even acknowledge it in his mind, and there was a prickling behind his eyes as he realized they were filling with tears of rage and despair once again.

"Will you _listen_ to yourself?" Kouga's foot drove deeper downward as the wolf youkai bent lower towards Inuyasha's face. "This is _war,_ Inuyasha. Do you really think you're walking among the humans as anything but a _spy?_ Do you think that _any_ camaraderie you might feel will make them hesitate to kill you, to kill _all of us_ if given the chance?"

Inuyasha growled and sent a barehanded strike to the side of Kouga's shin to knock it away. "I don't care," he said, "Not anymore."

And it was true.

 _Without her in the world, what's the point?_ He'd never cared much for his brother's political machinations, the suspicious looks he got from the purebloods even as they deferred to his title and higher birth, the trappings of luxury and decorum that hid what animals they really were…

Kagome had been the first and only thing to happen to him in his life that had made any sort of sense.

And now, she was gone.

He laid there on his back in the snow with Kouga standing angrily over him, and he ran a hand over his face that was still covered in blood. His, Kagome's, Ayame's, Kouga's...all of it.

"Ayame will heal," Kouga said finally, "It's the one advantage we all share, isn't it? But one thing that _won't_ heal is the fact that you're attempting to be a traitor to your own kind, your own _blood._ "

 _Half of my blood, Kouga. Only half._

"So kill me," Inuyasha said quietly, glaring up at his oldest friend defiantly. "Kill me and you'll win this fight for sure. One less _blood traitor_ to worry about, right?"

Kouga looked outraged and bewildered, and for a moment he was silent. "I _should_ kill you," he allowed, "I don't even think your brother would be that grieved about it, once he finds out what you just tried to do." He seemed to glance over his shoulder in the direction where Inuyasha knew Ayame was laying on her back with her broken skull and her breath nearly choked out of her lungs.

Under any other circumstances Inuyasha might have been shocked, even frightened at his own actions. But now, he was just floating in a sea without an anchor. And he just didn't care anymore. About anything. Least of all his own life.

"But the information you've given us _has_ been valuable," Kouga turned back to him, and the look on his face was now more resigned pity than outrage. "And it's not my place to decide such things. I'm just here for my pack's territory, nothing more."

With that, Kouga turned to leave. "Enjoy your remaining time amongst your little human underlings, Inuyasha. I hope you've figured out what you're going to do when your transformation vial runs out again. Just a few more weeks, right? I wouldn't count on any more from the higher ups, not after all this. I hope you come to your senses and make the right decision."

Inuyasha just closed his eyes and didn't answer. He lacked the will or strength to argue or fight anymore.

When he opened his eyes again just a few seconds later, both Kouga and Ayame were gone, leaving just Kagome's still form, laying motionless in a red-stained pile of snow beneath that pine tree.

He struggled to his feet, his entire body screaming with effort. He was sure a few of his bones were broken after all that, and being human meant that his body wasn't yet mending itself with breakneck speed.

When he reached her, her skin was pale, starkly contrasted with the crimson snow around her.

 _Kagome._

He slid his arms underneath her body and picked her up to cradle her close. She'd always weighed close to nothing to him, so small, so delicate and fragile-seeming, and yet so fierce and determined and willing to fight past her natural disadvantages.

He'd been so thrilled at the way they'd fought together, the way they'd seemed to read each other's every move and anticipate and work off each other. Like two parts of a whole.

Inuyasha found he couldn't take the weight of it all and he all but crushed her to him, burying his face in her cold, wet hair with a desperate, keening moan.

And he felt it. Small, shallow, barely there, but he _felt_ it.

Her breath on his neck.

"Kagome," he said, pulling away and examining her face frantically. She was still motionless, still pale as a ghost. "Kagome, it's me. Can you hear me? Please wake up. Wake up!"

 _So much blood. Everywhere. There's no way._

"Kagome," he repeated, fighting against his own treacherous thoughts, "Please. I can't...I can't do this without you. Not anymore."

Her face didn't move.

Her hand did.

As if she were in some sort of trance, with her eyes still closed and her face lifeless, she raised her right arm and let it hover over her stomach, the place where he knew her wound was.

Before he could say anything or react at all, there was suddenly a sensation that closed through the chilled night air around them both. A gentle hum, like the cooing of a songbird or a mother's lullaby to a child. It was comforting and warm and reassuring, and even though Inuyasha's soul felt torn in two right now, he felt his shoulders start to relax slightly.

"I love you, Okada," Kagome whispered, as if she were sleeping and saying it in a dream. Her full lips curved into a soft smile.

Inuyasha's heart seemed to stop, then start again and kick into overdrive.

Kagome's hand...it was _glowing._

 _What in heaven or hell…_

Was he delirious? Was this warm feeling giving him some sort of fever dream? Some sort of comfort in the wake of Kagome's impending death?

No, he was sure of it. Her hand was glowing, a light pink light emitting from the tips of her fingertips.

He gripped her around the shoulders tightly, exhilarated and confused and hopeless and yet desperately praying to any god who was listening.

Then...after a few agonizing moments…

Her hand dropped, and she slumped back into his arms. The warmth in the air vanished, leaving a terrifying stillness in the freezing night air. Inuyasha fought to remain still, but his hands were trembling where they gripped her.

And then.

She sat up like a slingshot and gave an enormous, unladylike cough. Her blue, blue eyes shot open and she blinked them once, twice, three times.

"What in the world was _that?_ " she exclaimed, her voice strong and clear, as if she'd just forgotten to wake up on time in the morning, "Did I pass out or something? Where did the youkai go - oh, Okada, you're bleeding! Or is that me? Good gracious, I'm _covered!_ Whose blood is this - "

Any further exclamations were cut off as he pulled her to him and kissed her fiercely, knowing that the tears she would feel running down her cheeks weren't hers.

"You little idiot," he said when they parted, pressing his forehead to hers probably a little too roughly, "Don't you ever scare me like that again."

"What? What did I do?"

"What do you mean, what did you do? You got _stabbed_ , Kagome."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "I did?" She opened her shirtfront, clearly unconcerned with any decorum since he'd seen everything anyway, and peered downward to examine her stomach.

There it was, a blood-soaked hole in her chest bindings.

But the skin beneath it was whole and unblemished.

Inuyasha had a thousand questions, a thousand fears, a thousand elated screams of thanks to relieve himself of. But all he could do right now was bend down and kiss her again.

* * *

From the canopy of the trees, Kouga held Ayame close, cradling her head in his hands as carefully as he would a newborn babe. She was crying softly from the pain, and he fought the urge to press a reassuring kiss to her forehead, her forehead which was so battered and nigh unrecognizable right now. "Shhh," was all he could say, "I'm here, Ayame. I've got you."

She didn't seem to hear him, as per usual, but he ignored that as he turned again to watch Inuyasha from between the leaves.

Holding that human girl so closely, crying over her. It made him sick. It felt like a kick in the gut. Decades of friendship, thrown away for _this?_

And then, when her hand started to reach up, Kouga couldn't help but stop short, even though he knew he had to get himself and Ayame out of there as soon as possible.

 _What the hell?_

When she sat up, perfectly fine and healed from a fatal wound not thirty seconds later, Kouga felt as shocked as Inuyasha looked, all that distance away.

What sort of sorcery was _this?_

Kouga knew, as Ayame slumped backward in his arms once more in a dead faint, that he didn't have time to puzzle over it now.

Perhaps Prince Sesshomaru or Lord Naraku had the answer.

* * *

 _ **A thousand special thanks to my hubby for helping me to write those battle scenes. He's so good at them and I'm so...NOT. It was fun to have him give advice...and then have him look exasperated when I refused to take it for a few hours...and then have him smirk knowingly at me once I realized his ideas were better and that I'm an idiot who shoulda listened in the FIRST damn place... Thanks for your infinite patience, bubz. I owe you one. You are best gud boi 4ever.**_

 ** _So yeah. This got ROUGH, didn't it? And the fun is just beginning. ALSO AYAME WILL BE FINE. I felt very squicked out as I typed out the description of her broken skull, but remember that youkai heal super fast and super well. A broken skull ain't nothin but a thang. I mean, she'll be out of commission for a while I'm sure, but still. Also how fucking SPOOKY is Naraku, am I right? He got planzzzzzz y'all. He's weaving a spider web. See what I did there? :D_**

 _ **I love how so many of you asked if Kagome was going to have some form of miko powers in this. Now you have your answer! It will likely not quite be what you expect (since I am tweaking each and every character's powers and abilities as I see fit), but yay! She can do...whatever that just was! Wonder how it works? ;)**_

 _ **Inuyasha in human form basically turning into feral Inuyasha was crazy to write. Like, it's all the sort of brutality he'd be capable of in his full youkai form in the show, but with the limitations of human strength. Of course, remember, his bloodline is powerful as FUCK in this story, so let that ease your minds about how he was possibly able to overpower a full-blooded wolf youkai in any capacity. Even as a human he's a little...enhanced, shall we say?**_

 _ **Hope you guys like the chapter! Sorry it's so dark. I feel like I'll be saying that a lot from here on out...**_

 ** _Please review! Thanks so much! - meggz0rz_**


	17. Bruises

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Seventeen**

 **BRUISES**

* * *

When Inuyasha and Kagome returned through the gates of Ryusei, they were met with hundreds of questions, hundreds of frightened stares, from soldiers and civilians alike. General Naito, as fond of his officers as he was, took one look at Inuyasha's bruised, bloodied face and seemingly in one breath sent a whole garrison out to the woods to search for the wolf youkai and serve out some good old-fashioned revenge.

They wouldn't find a trace, Inuyasha knew. Kouga was good at covering his tracks, even with an injured Ayame slowing him down.

 _Kouga._

It was a hell of a way to treat a friendship he'd held dear since boyhood, wasn't it?

Inuyasha found that the mere thought of what he'd done was making him feel a bit ill, and so he returned his focus to the small young woman dressed as a boy that he cradled in his arms. When she'd done... _whatever that was,_ back there...it had obviously drained her of any remaining energy, and she'd collapsed into his arms in a dead faint even as he kissed her tearfully and gratefully.

And what the hell _had_ she done?

This was new territory for Inuyasha. Never in his life had he heard of such a thing. Healing powers this quick, this thorough, and coming from a _human girl_ , no less?

It seemed Kagome had no idea how they worked, either. Or even that she'd _had_ that capability.

 _Good,_ he thought, _because then no one else does either. No one needs to know about any of this._

It was a nice notion. It seemed the gods had other plans.

Miroku and Sango both rushed forward at the sight of Kagome, pale and bloody and passed out. They looked stricken, terrified.

"Give him some space," Inuyasha said, in his most authoritative voice for the rest of the crowd to hear, "He's alright. It's youkai blood. Poor kid took a blow to the stomach." Not his best lie. _But one of many._

Sango's hand tentatively reached out and gripped Inuyasha's sleeve, and he turned to look at her. She silently glanced down at Kagome's still form, then back at his face questioningly. She was looking for confirmation that everything was, in fact, alright.

He gave her an unsmiling nod. Yet another lie. _Nothing's alright. It's the farthest we, any of us, could be from alright._

"Is everything okay, Captain Okada?"

And there that voice was, just in time to make everything that much worse. Hojo gently pushed forward through the crowd, looking horrified at the amount of blood everywhere. He was followed close behind by his father the daimyo, who looked just as concerned and alarmed as his son.

Inuyasha felt himself involuntarily hug Kagome's body closer to him. "Everything's fine," he said quickly, "Just ran into the wolf youkai. Looked like a scouting party. General Naito's already sent some men to take care of it."

"Of course," Naito said, nodding in agreement, clearly wishing to reassure their distinguished guests of honor.

Miroku stepped forward and held out his arms to Inuyasha. "I'll take the kid," he said, "He looks like he could use a good, long rest. Sango, care to help?"

Sango nodded wordlessly, and Inuyasha tried to hand Kagome over to the monk as quickly but gently as possible.

But Kagome, clearly, wasn't having it. Even in her exhausted, sleepy delirium, she gave a small whimper of protest and clung tighter around Inuyasha's neck.

 _How can I want to kiss her and throttle her at the same time,_ Inuyasha thought with exasperation, glancing around at the crowd and hoping she hadn't just given her entire feminine identity away.

The only one who seemed to have noticed anything at all was the one person Inuyasha had been worried about.

"Let go of me, brat," he said loudly, snappishly, and finally Kagome was in Miroku's arms. The look Inuyasha gave the monk was read loud and clear, and both Miroku and Sango immediately started to shove back through the throng of people and get Kagome back to her room post haste.

Inuyasha sighed and turned to follow General Naito, and he chanced just one more look Hojo's way.

The boy was standing frozen to the spot, staring off into space, his brow knit with fear, concern, bewilderment… _recognition, maybe?_

Inuyasha fought not to grimace at the tight knot that seemed to be forming in his guts.

* * *

Kagome's eyes flew open as she felt a soft, warm bed at her back. "What - "

"Oh, welcome back," Miroku said with brief smile, "Trouble certainly seems to find you, doesn't it? And caught without your armor once again." He clucked his tongue reproachfully.

"Are you hurt?" Sango appeared over Miroku's shoulder, her brown eyes wide and frightful.

Kagome shook her head gently. "No," she said softly, furrowing her brow, "At least, I don't _think_ I am...Okada said I was stabbed, but I don't - "

"What?" Sango shoved Miroku out of the way so forcefully he nearly collided with the wall. "Miroku, get out of here! Kagome, take off your - "

The other girl's haste was halted by a perturbed Miroku's hand on her shoulder. "Who here," he said, still smiling but clearly a little irritated at Sango's recklessness, "is the trained medic?"

Kagome grit her teeth and slowly sat up. There was a dull ache in her stomach, like she'd pulled a muscle, but nothing much else other than sheer fatigue seemed to be plaguing her. "I think I'm okay," she said, pressing her fingers to her abdomen gingerly.

"Let me see," Miroku knelt at the side of the bed and carefully started to undo her yukata.

"Wait a second," Sango said in protest, her cheeks turning a little pink, "Kagome, would you rather I sent him out of here?"

Kagome was too tired to care that much. "It's alright," she said as she let Miroku peel back her shirt, revealing her bloodstained, ruined chest wrappings, "If he tries anything, you'll hit him for me, right?"

"Thank you so much for the vote of confidence," Miroku grumbled angrily, but his hands moved slowly and deliberately so as not to jostle her too much.

Laughing hurt right now, so Kagome bit her tongue and just gave him a reassuring, affectionate smile, which he returned with a cheeky smirk before turning his attention to her bound torso.

"I think these need to be retired now," he said, making a slightly disgusted face. Kagome agreed; they were now dark brown with blood that Okada had been so insistent was her own.

"Let me," Sango said quickly, throwing a protective arm around Kagome's shoulders and shielding her from Miroku's view as she drew a small tanto from her obi and sliced through the bindings.

"Thank you," Kagome said with a relieved sigh, feeling her ribcage relax like it always did when she took off the constrictive garments, "I guess I'll have to find some sort of replacement again. For the third time."

"You do tend to get disgustingly dirty around here, don't you?" Miroku said teasingly as Sango tossed a blanket over Kagome's shoulders in an attempt to at least partially preserve her modesty. "Sango, you're going to have to move aside and let me examine her eventually."

Sango looked like she would rather eat dirt, but then she sighed and gave a small smile, seemingly to try and put both herself and Kagome at ease, and scooted to the edge of the bed to let Miroku through.

Immediately, the monk's easygoing smile turned into an alarmed frown. "Gods in heaven," he muttered under his breath, "Sango, grab that lantern and bring it over here."

Sango did so, and Kagome swallowed nervously before peering down at her bare stomach.

There was a single line of stark white skin, lighter than her natural tone, but surrounding it was flesh that was mottled and purple. Veinlike lines, almost black in color, dotted the darkened skin like horrific strands of a spiderweb.

"This looks almost _necrotic,_ " Miroku said, his eyes wide with shock, "Like your flesh is _rotting away._ You said it doesn't hurt?"

Kagome's heart was pounding at the sight before her. "N-No," she insisted, "It just feels a little stiff, that's all. Oh, gods, what on earth - "

"I have no idea." Miroku sat back, running a hand through his hair, his eyes never leaving the angry wound. "You've never had this happen to you before?"

"Never," Kagome said urgently, running her fingers over it. The skin felt normal, smooth.

"What does this _mean?_ " Sango covered her mouth with the hand that wasn't holding up the lantern.

"If it _were_ actual necrosis," Miroku said, "You'd be feeling violently ill right now. You'd be throwing up, feverish, you name it. This is something else. Something way beyond my knowledge."

"So we can't do anything?" Sango said, sounding bitter, angry. "We just hope this clears up on its own?"

Kagome folded her arms around herself and closed her eyes. She felt _fine,_ just exhausted. There was nothing going on with her that could possibly explain why her skin had blackened and recoiled from that one spot.

The one spot where Okada had said she'd been stabbed.

 _What did he see? What did I forget?_

 _What did I do?_

"I think it will go away on its own," Kagome said, though she wasn't sure _what_ she thought.

Miroku fixed her with a serious gaze. "If you feel poorly at _all_ \- "

"I'll tell you immediately, I promise."

There was a knock at the door, and Sango went to let Okada in.

"Good," she said sharply, "Glad you're here. Maybe _you_ can give us some answers to all this."

Okada didn't seem to be listening, as he came forward straight to Kagome's side, sitting on the side of the bed (and shoving Miroku out of the way once again) and placing a hand to the side of her face. "Kagome," he said softly, brow knit with concern, "Do you feel - "

"I feel fine," she said, smiling and covering his hand with her own.

"Isn't this adorable," Miroku mumbled under his breath in Sango's direction as he stood and dusted off his knees. Okada sent him a pointed glare.

"Okada," Sango said impatiently, "have you _seen_ her wound?" She lifted the blanket to show him Kagome's stomach. "What the hell _happened_ out there?"

"Kagome said you told her she was stabbed," Miroku added.

"But there's no wound," Sango said, gesturing to Kagome's discolored but unpunctured skin, "So how do you explain _that?_ "

Okada's dark blue eyes went wide with sheer horror, and he looked at her stomach, then at her face, almost frantic at the sight. "I didn't see this earlier," he said, "Your chest wraps were still on - "

"It doesn't hurt," Kagome said, intertwining her fingers with his and squeezing his hand, "I promise. Just feels like a pulled muscle."

Something unreadable cycled through his features at that, and he looked far away for a brief moment before returning to earth and opening his mouth to speak to Miroku. "She _was_ stabbed," he said, "I saw it with my own eyes."

"Was the blade poisoned?" Miroku asked gravely.

Kagome felt her heart sink. She hadn't even thought of that. Some crazy, unholy youkai magic -

"No," Okada said, "She was stabbed with her own sword."

At this, she felt some semblance of memory return.

 _She got me from behind, didn't she? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh,_ there's _my sword. Well, done, Kagome, now_ these _clothes are ruined. Okada's going to be so disappointed in you. What a stupid way to die. Gods, he's beautiful. Why is he screaming?_

With a choked gasp, she hunched over, wrenching her hand free of Okada's grasp and clapping it over her stomach. "She - she - how am I _alive?_ I bled out, I bled _everywhere_ \- "

"Wait a minute," Miroku said, holding up Kagome's discarded yukata, which had been stark white only hours before and was now a dark crimson dulling to brown, "So this is all _your_ blood?"

 _It's getting colder now. I hope Okada's giving that youkai bitch the fight of her life. And the male, too. He could take on both of them with one arm tied behind his...I'm getting so tired. So tired. Okada, where are you? I want to say goodbye...Oh, thank the gods, he's here. Don't be sad, I'm not afraid. I got to fall in love with you, didn't I? That's a good life. No, Okada, don't cry, please. I could go if I knew you wouldn't be sad. Please stop saying all those wonderful things, you're making it harder to...Can I tell you a secret? I don't want to go, Okada. I don't. I can't go without telling you...I love you, Okada. I said that part out loud, didn't I? It's true, it's so true, I love you and I don't want to go...I can't...I_ won't _go. Not now. I refuse to go. Now it's time to wake up. Wake up, Kagome,_ wake up!

The tears began to spill out of Kagome's eyes as she lifted her hand from her bare stomach. Her hand was trembling. " _I_ did this," she said softly, looking up and meeting Okada's eyes, "I healed myself, didn't I?"

He didn't answer, but his face gave her the answer she needed.

* * *

"You did _what?_ " Miroku looked astonished. "How?"

Inuyasha watched Kagome inhale and exhale once as she stared down at her open palm. Her eyes were curious and not a little frightened as she lifted them back to meet his own. He had no words, no explanations to give her. He'd seen what he'd seen, but what he'd seen was dangerous.

Slowly, tentatively, her gaze shifted to the side of his face, her eyes running up and down, scanning him. When she placed her hand to his cheek, he fought back the wince of pain and realized Kouga's punch earlier had probably shattered his left cheekbone. He hadn't even noticed.

"Wait," he whispered, knowing what she was probably about to do, "Don't - "

Kagome screwed her eyes shut, clearly concentrating, and Inuyasha felt the air around them grow still again. He heard Sango and Miroku exclaiming in surprise but he couldn't understand them, as if they were trying to speak underwater.

And then out of the corner of his eye he saw the pink glow again, and it felt as if cool, fresh water were being flushed across his cheek, and then a pleasant warming sensation, and then, all too soon, nothing again.

Kagome slowly opened her eyes, her lids seemingly very heavy. She was panting a little with obvious fatigue as she examined his cheek again, fingers gently stroking down his jawline with a featherlight touch.

Inuyasha opened his mouth and closed it again, just to check. Where there had been a dull, constant ache was now complete mobility and relief.

Kagome smiled, seemingly very pleased with herself, and his arms immediately encircled her protectively. She looked quite wobbly again.

"Kagome," Sango said shakily, pointing, "Your _arm._ "

Inuyasha craned his neck around to see.

The same purplish bruising had appeared just below Kagome's right elbow. No angry-looking black veins this time, just the same sort of thing one would see if she'd banged her arm on something hard enough.

Miroku stepped forward and held her arm up to examine it. "What the _hell_ did you just do?"

Kagome's head slumped forward onto Inuyasha's shoulder. "I fixed him," she said, sounding as if she were dreaming, "I took it away."

Inuyasha, for the thousandth time that night, had no words, and could only bury his face into her hair and hold her close.

 _This is bad. This is too much. Too much power. Too many ways it could be exploited._

At least she was safe. And from what it seemed like, she might always be able to be. Physically, at least.

But at what cost?

He glanced downward at the bruise-like mark on her arm, feeling completely out of control and unable to know how to act. When he released his embrace slightly to look into her face again, he saw that she, too, had been examining the mark, more curiously than anything.

 _It doesn't hurt. She says it doesn't hurt. It will be fine. It will fade. Just a weird side effect, right?_

Her voice was soft and steady as she murmured, almost to herself, "Seems like something inside me...woke itself up, doesn't it?"

And then she snuggled herself into his chest and seemed to fall asleep almost instantaneously.

* * *

As he carefully laid Kagome back down onto her pillow, pausing only to brush her hair away from her face, Okada spoke, and Miroku knew it was directed at both him and Sango.

"This entire incident," he said, voice soft in volume but hard as iron in tone, "doesn't leave this room. Understood?"

"Oh, believe me, sir," Miroku said, placing a hand on Sango's shoulder to try and steady the girl. She was looking a little terrified at this development. "No one would believe us, anyway."

Okada gave a scoff that sounded almost like a laugh under his breath, like he thoroughly agreed on that count. He reached out and closed a hand over Kagome's, and she seemed to smile a little and snuggle up a little closer towards him on the bed.

"Come on, Miroku," Sango said, and when he looked at her she was smiling at both of them, her eyes glowing prettily in the lantern light, "They'll be alright without us crowding them."

Miroku felt a pang in his heart, and without thinking too much, he reached out to take Sango's hand and lead her out of the room.

She didn't pull away.

The surprise was almost too much to bear, and Miroku barely found the wherewithal to turn back once and lean through the doorway. "If there are any changes with that bruising," he almost stammered out, "Let us know and we'll come running."

Okada just nodded once, but didn't look up. He wasn't smiling, just watching Kagome sleep, his hand firmly in hers.

"I think you're right," Miroku whispered to Sango as they exited down the hallway, "I think they're just fine."

The smile Sango gave in response was almost one of _longing._ "Have you ever loved someone like that, Miroku?"

"Not yet," he said honestly. _But frankly, I might be getting there._

"Me neither," she said with a sigh. She tucked a stray lock of brown hair behind her ear. "I hope someday…" She trailed off, and her smile faded as she released his hand from her own and touched the brown bag around her waist, running her hands over the smooth leather surface and jingling the weapons inside. "But not now. After I've killed every last youkai I can get my hands on. After I don't need to fight anymore. After my village is avenged."

"Lady Sango," Miroku said, and she looked up at him, surprised at the formal address that he hadn't used much in the past few weeks, "As always, I'm with you to the end." Surprised at his own boldness, he took her hand again, ran his thumb across the back of it gently, and then lifted it to his lips for a brief kiss.

She turned pink and seemed to open her mouth to reply, but as they stepped outside into the snowy night, headed for their own lodgings, they were suddenly accosted by a figure stepping out of the alleyway and grabbing hold of Sango's sleeve.

With lightning-quick reflexes, her tanto was out and she had slammed the offender into the side of the building, blade at his throat.

"Who in the _hell_ \- " She stopped short, and with wide eyes, Sango immediately turned bright red and stepped back, bowing repeatedly and stammering apologies.

"Lord Hojo, isn't it? I'm so sorry, I didn't realize it was you!"

Hojo gave a large gulp and waved her off, straightening out his ornate clothing. "No, no, miss, it's entirely my fault. I should have made my presence known straight off. I merely wanted to ask you both a question. Your friend, the soldier who was wounded earlier tonight, how is he?"

"He'll recover. He's strong," Miroku said cooly, not wanting to say more than he should.

"And his name?" Hojo asked.

"S-Sota," Sango said, quirking an eyebrow at Miroku questioningly.

At this, Hojo's inquisitive face changed, and there was a look of almost heartbreaking sadness that slowly melted into a soft, introspective smile. "Ah," he said softly, _knowingly_ , "No. It isn't really, is it?"

Sango froze, and Miroku knew he didn't look much less guilty.

At the stunned silence, Hojo just waved them off again. "At ease, you two. Thank you for taking such good care of her. She's lucky to count you as her friends and companions."

"L-Lord Hojo - "

He held up a hand, the first demonstration of authority he'd shown thus far, and Miroku felt his protestations die in his throat.

"Please," Hojo said, "No need to keep up the pretense. I know you're trying to protect her, but there's no need. She won't need protection from me, I assure you."

Sango's frow seemed to furrow, as if she were realizing what was going on, and Miroku envied her. He was still playing catch-up, it seemed.

Hojo sighed, looking truly hurt but clearly trying to soldier through it. "I just want to understand," he said softly, "Please, when you next visit her, tell her that her fiance wishes to speak to her. Even if just for a moment."

* * *

"Your Royal Highness," Jaken rushed into the room, and Sesshomaru glanced up from where he stood at his study window, irritated at the interruption of his thoughts. "Lord Kouga is here, back from a mission in Ryusei. He's requesting an audience."

Before Sesshomaru could even open his mouth to reply, Kouga appeared just behind Jaken, looking roughed up and furious. In his arms was a young female wolf youkai, her face beaten beyond recognition, her limbs dangling limply and her eyes closed.

"You ruffian! How dare you barge in before I can announce you properly - "

"Jaken," Sesshomaru cut in, his voice cold as ice. "Leave us."

With a last indignant look at the wolf, Jaken backed out of the room and shut the door behind him.

"He has a point, there," Sesshomaru said, eyeing Kouga dully for a moment before returning his gaze out the window, "How we ever hope to live the civilized lives of our fathers before us when you can't observe basic protocol and etiquette is beyond me. What happened to your friend, there?"

He heard Kouga growl under his breath. "Your _brother_ did."

 _That_ made Sesshomaru turn around.

* * *

 _ **Awww the BFF vibes are strong in this chapter, aren't they? Everybody sing with me, "WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE, WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE, WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE, AND WE'LL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LEAVE EACH OTHER!"**_

 _ **Miroku and Sango are SLOWWWWWWBURNING IT UP over here.**_

 _ **Kagome's powers are not the happy sweet lovely things they are in the manga or anime. If this chapter didn't clue you in on that. Hahaha. There's something dark in that there magic.**_

 _ **Also, real quick shoutout to the two latest reviews I got, because they were just the loveliest, sweetest, kindest things I've ever read about my writing. To answer a specific question in the first review I'm talking about, which was posted anonymously, no, I have no current books published, but ask me again in a year or two! Hubby and I have one in the pipeline, but it's a long way away from being completed! (He writes the action and I write the romance and drama aka the MUSHY stuff aka the GOOD SHIT ;D) Thank you so much for that wonderful vote of confidence. Writing is my favorite thing to do, and if I go a day without putting at least a few words to paper (or computer screen, as it were) I feel incomplete! I'm so glad you enjoy this little yarn I'm spinning; I certainly love creating it!**_

 _ **As far as everyone else's questions go, I will say that a ton of you have very very wonderful and accurate theories about certain plot threads, but I can't acknowledge who's right and who's wrong! I'm glad this is making you into Oblivion conspiracy theorists because I would join that club in a heartbeat and I write the damn thing. :D**_

 ** _Hojo wants to talk to Kagome...this should be interesting!_**

 ** _ALSO HI SESSHOMARU WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?_**

 ** _Love you guys so very much! Please review. I live for the reviews. They really do make me update faster because I read reviews and then drink a cup of coffee at 8 pm to crank out a chapter cause I feel bad for leaving y'all in suspense. XD - meggz0rz_**


	18. Deceptions

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Eighteen**

 **DECEPTIONS**

* * *

"...I see." Sesshomaru's face hadn't changed, it rarely did, but Kouga knew from the steel-edged tone to the prince's voice that he was _seething_ with fury. "And he said those exact words to you? He told you to kill him, called himself a blood traitor?"

Kouga sighed, the pain of the betrayal still very fresh in his mind, as he reached out a hand to brush Ayame's bangs off her nigh-unrecognizable face. "He did."

Sesshomaru sat forward in his chair, staring at his own hands with narrowed eyes. "I should have known this would happen," he hissed under his breath, "Apparently my brother shares our father's proclivity for human females, as well as his seeming desire to betray his entire clan, his own honor as one of youkai blood, for the sake of one."

Kouga found himself remembering, much to his own dismay, a very particular conversation from when he and Inuyasha had been young boys.

" _So you're a prince," Kouga said, puzzling through it all as he rested his hands behind his head and stared at the open evening sky. He cut his eyes just for a moment to the slightly younger boy laying just a few feet away, the boy with the silver-white hair and dog ears who was so sullen and quiet and had spoken no more than three words to him since they'd been introduced earlier that day. "Like Sesshomaru, only you're not going to be king someday."_

 _He was surprised when Inuyasha actually answered. "I guess," he mumbled, glaring at his own clawed hands as he grabbed small fistfuls of grass blades and uprooted them over and over again._

" _But your mama was a human," Kouga said mildly, frowning, "It doesn't seem right for you to be - "_

" _Shut up," Inuyasha growled, pounding a clenched fist into the ground, "Don't talk about her."_

 _Kouga shrugged, and they were silent for a moment. "Is your mama dead?"_

" _I said, don't talk about her."_

"My _mama's dead," Kouga said softly, his eyes drifting upward to the stars once more, "Papa too. That makes me clan leader. But my uncle Gin is taking care of it until I'm bigger. He says we have to go into hiding because the humans broke their promise."_

 _Inuyasha just nodded. "That's what my big brother says too. He says the humans killed my papa and mama, so it's not safe for us at home anymore."_

" _When I get bigger," Kouga said, placing a blade of dry grass between his teeth and chewing it idly, "I'm gonna fight them all and get our home back. You want to come help?"_

" _Yeah." Inuyasha curled onto his side, facing away from Kouga, his voice slightly softer with the breeze blowing the opposite direction. "I hate all the humans, except for Mama."_

Kouga was thrown out of the memory as Ayame whimpered again, a fresh tear running out of one of her swollen eyes to trickle down her cheek. He gently reached out and wiped it away.

 _And yet you did_ this _to protect a human girl, Inuyasha._

Had they ever really been friends? Was all they'd been through that easily disposable, to the point that Inuyasha was ready to throw it all away just for…

"Your Royal Highness, Lord Naraku is here." Jaken reappeared in the doorway and snorted derisively just once more at Kouga's presence.

"Send him in," Sesshomaru said, still looking very deep in thought indeed.

Kouga noticed that Ayame was flinching, curling in on herself, making herself as small as possible. He crouched over her, propping her head up with his forearm and trying to hold her close, to reassure her. It seemed that, once again, she was too distracted to notice.

"Lord Kouga," Naraku said, bowing politely upon entry, "I see that my sending you to retrieve the weapons was once again a mistake. Tell me, have you ever successfully completed a mission given to you, or was I misled by the other generals in terms of your competence?"

Ayame immediately gave a cry like she had been struck in the face again, and though it clearly pained her immensely to move even a little, she gazed up at Naraku through tear-streaked eyes and reached her hand out, wordlessly begging.

Naraku glanced at her, then back at Kouga. His pale lips curled into a cruel smile.

Kouga growled under his breath and stepped forward, fists clenched, but he stopped when Sesshomaru held up a clawed hand.

"Enough, all of you."

Everyone stopped short and acquiesced. Sesshomaru was clearly in no mood for any more infighting right now. They had enough on their hands as it was.

"Naraku," the prince said after a moment, "I'm curious as to your reasoning for taking matters into your own hands regarding my brother." There was a cold anger to his voice that Kouga knew Naraku should probably be very, very afraid of. "You clearly provided him with the means to remain amongst the humans without contacting me regularly. Something I was expressly trying to avoid."

"But, Your Highness," Naraku said, looking utterly unfazed and folding his hands in front of himself, "I had no idea you were unaware. It was _Prince Inuyasha_ who contacted me and asked for the means to stay human longer. Naturally, I assumed you knew about it and had given your approval; otherwise, why would the boy ask me such a thing?"

"Wh-what?" Kouga couldn't help the outburst. It sounded utterly ridiculous to him.

"Silence," Sesshomaru gave Kouga a brief glare, then returned his attention to Naraku. "You say he came to you? What was his reasoning?"

"He wasn't specific," Naraku placed a single finger to his chin, seemingly trying to recall, "Something about having more time for... _something._ I was only too eager to assist, considering the faith that Your Highness had put into him to remain loyal to the cause. Was I incorrect? Has something happened?"

" _Apparently my brother thinks of everything," Inuyasha said, cradling the vial in his palm that Ayame had just handed over. His face was relieved, smiling, deep in thought._

"That's a lie," Kouga said. "Prince Sesshomaru, he's _lying._ "

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. "I will not address this again," he hissed, "Speak out of turn once more and it's coming out of your hide, Lord Kouga." The prince's gaze lifted back to Naraku once again. "My brother has taken a human girl as a lover. And it would seem he attacked Ayame when said girl was threatened."

As if on cue, Ayame tried to reach out for Naraku's sleeve again, but the dark-haired man stepped out of the way as if he hadn't noticed. Ayame choked back a small sob and curled back into the fetal position where she lay on the small couch.

Naraku smirked as Kouga could do nothing but glare. "Poor girl. She's been just _brutalized_. It would seem Prince Inuyasha has been deceptive to more than one of us, wouldn't it? I'm sorry, Lord Kouga. I know you were boyhood friends."

 _I don't need your sympathy or your apologies, you manipulative bastard._

"Naraku," Sesshomaru said sharply, "Take care how you speak. Whatever may have happened, Prince Inuyasha is still my brother. Still your prince." Kouga had never seen Sesshomaru look so... _defiant_ before. Like he was almost trying to convince himself as much as the others in the room. "He will remember where his loyalties lie. He's not completely gone."

Naraku gave a pointed glance at Ayame's cowering, bloodied form, but merely smiled agreeably. "As you say, Your Highness. But perhaps it would be best to retrieve him sooner rather than later?"

Sesshomaru didn't reply, just drummed his fingers against the arm of his chair.

"Please, Your Highness," Kouga stepped in, swallowing once before continuing. He was risking a flogging and he knew it, but something about this whole thing just didn't sit right. "Let me go back and get him. I think I can get him to listen to me."

"Brilliant idea, Kouga," Naraku cut in smoothly, "Your dealings with Inuyasha have worked _so well_ in the past, haven't they?"

Kouga growled under his breath and refused to glance in the other demon's direction, keeping his eyes on Sesshomaru, who seemed to be considering his options. The dog youkai, normally so stoic and impassive, looked well and truly troubled for once. Betrayed, even.

 _Welcome to the club, Your Highness._

"If this is the situation," Naraku said, folding his arms inside his great black robes, "I have a proposition. One that will bring the prince back into the fold easily."

Sesshomaru sat back in his chair. "What is it? Speak."

Naraku smirked. "It's simple. We eliminate his weakness. He'll thank us for it in the end."

"What, kill the girl?" Kouga scoffed. "It's not like Ayame didn't already _try_ that." He placed his hands on his hips.

"Interesting how she survived," Naraku said, glancing over his shoulder at Ayame with a dismissive scoff that boiled Kouga's blood, "I suppose Ayame wasn't as capable a killer as I expected."

"M-My lord," Ayame protested weakly, pausing to give a few quiet coughs before she could continue. Kouga, never taking his wary gaze off Naraku, immediately went to her side and helped her struggle to sit up. She leaned over the edge of her seat, knuckles white where she held herself upright. He threw an arm around her waist, not caring if she didn't want him to, not caring if such behavior was deemed untoward in such a formality-riddled setting, and held her steady. "I - I ran her through with her own _sword._ I twisted the blade. I don't know how she could have - "

"Nevertheless, she did," Naraku said, turning his back to her again. "And I find _that_ little fact very interesting indeed."

From the look on his face, so did Sesshomaru.

Kouga glared at the back of Naraku's head. "The human girl healed herself. Ayame struck a killing blow and the girl healed herself in the span of half a minute."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, but said nothing.

Naraku, however, gave a small, delighted chuckle under his breath. "That's _wonderful_ ," he said.

"I fail to see your reasoning, Lord Naraku," Sesshomaru curled his lip in distaste, "In what reality is a human girl with the powers of a _god_ something to be pleased about?"

"Your Highness, don't you see?" Naraku said, "It means our dear Inuyasha is not lost to us at all. He's found us a little secret weapon and he's been deep undercover, seducing her, swaying her affections his way. No _wonder_ he didn't want Ayame attacking her; the prince clearly means to bring her back with him!"

Kouga frowned, his fingers still pressing gently into Ayame's side. Inuyasha had looked as surprised as could be when the human girl had sat up, covered in her own blood, and spoken aloud clearly and brightly. There was no way he had known beforehand. Absolutely no way.

He opened his mouth to say so, when Sesshomaru spoke instead.

"If this is true," the prince said, "then he will be welcomed back into the fold with open arms. I hope your observations are as astute as you seem to think they are, Lord Naraku. It would pain me to have to make an example of my own kin when my bloodline's claim to the throne is already under such tension."

Kouga closed his mouth again and remained silent, leaning his head back to rest against the finely papered wall behind him.

"I must ask your favor, Your Highness," Naraku said almost excitedly, bowing deeply to the prince, "Allow me to go and retrieve Inuyasha personally. With my own soldiers."

Sesshomaru paused for a moment, then gave the slightest of nods. "You are to draw the battle away from the human settlements and leave the town of Ryusei untouched, however. I will not be king of a pile of ashes."

Naraku bowed even lower, then turned to leave with a wide, hungry-looking smile on his face. "Always so diplomatic, Your Highness. We shall be _lucky_ to see you as ruler of these lands."

As he passed, Ayame gave another heartbreaking moan and tried to reach out to touch his robes. He snatched them out of her reach and disappeared through the doorway.

Kouga gave a spiteful huff of breath and turned back to Sesshomaru. The prince merely sat there in his chair, lip curled in distaste, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Kouga wasn't sure who the suspicion was aimed at.

* * *

Inuyasha rose earlier than Kagome did for once.

He supposed it was to be expected, given what she'd been through last night. She remained still, her breathing even, her face calm, as he propped himself up one one elbow and gazed down at her.

A stray lock of her hair had found its way into the corner of her mouth, and he gently reached over to brush it off her face. With a small smile that he couldn't help, he silently leaned forward to place a chaste kiss to her forehead, so light he knew she probably wouldn't feel it.

 _I almost lost her forever last night._

With an ache in his chest, he gently undid the belt of her yukata to examine her stomach again.

Yet another surprise.

Her skin was completely clear, as even in color as it had always been, with nothing to hint at the horrific injury from the night before but a pale scar, white as snow. It was completely healed.

 _Kagome._ Inuyasha couldn't help but trace his fingers along her toned stomach, stopping at the line of her ribcage. She merely mumbled a little in her sleep and turned her head to the side, curling herself toward his bare chest.

 _I'm going to have to lose her again soon. Kouga's no doubt told my brother about what I did. We're going to have a lot of company in a few days._

The important thing was keeping her safe.

But how could he do that, when he was the one putting her in harm's way?

 _She's in danger every second I'm near her. She has been from the moment I kissed her in the forest._ It hadn't even been that long ago that he'd done it, just a matter of weeks, but that one small act had fanned the spark into a raging blaze. And fool that he was, he'd stepped right into the fire, arms aloft, and let himself burn. He'd delayed the inevitable, _ignored_ it, even, like a foolish boy, just for the sake of holding her in his arms, making her moan in lustful abandon...for the sake of feeling her tweak his nose playfully when she was teasing him and hearing her wild, unladylike laugh…

It was all an illusion, a dream, wasn't it? He'd been dishonest with her in the most fundamental way from the very beginning. Everything she thought he was was a lie. How on earth could they possibly survive the truth?

 _The only way you can. Tell her now. Tell her everything. Try to help her understand that you were a part of this plot, but now you don't want to be, because…_

Kagome's eyes slowly blinked open, and when she focused on him, her beautiful face broke into that wonderful smile he'd come to adore. "Good morning," she said, still very sleepy, looking as if she might drift off again. She reached up and wrapped a lock of his dark hair around her finger, like a kitten pawing at a toy, and then scooted toward him a bit more to press her cheek against his arm. With a soft hum of satisfaction, she seemed to let herself go back to sleep, that hint of a smile still on her face.

 _...Because you love her._

He would tell her. She deserved to know the truth, from his own mouth. And if she hated him afterward, she was well within her rights.

But for the present moment, he would let her sleep. And he would sit here, with his chin atop her head, and hold her close like it was the last time.

Because it very well could be.

* * *

A few hours later, Kagome opened her eyes to find herself alone in bed.

She wondered what time it was. How long she'd been out.

With a small grunt and a huge, satisfying stretch, she sat up under the covers, eyes immediately trailing down to her open yukata, her unblemished stomach. All she could do was smile, both at the fact that she looked completely healed and at her state of disheveled undress. _Naughty naughty, Okada._ She chuckled under her breath at her own private joke and retied her belt.

Where was he? Probably doing some important soldierly business. He'd no doubt neglected his duties last night; she'd felt him laying next to her the entire time, his fingers linked with her own.

A growl emanated from her stomach.

 _Gods, I'm famished. And of course, I have no chest bindings anymore so I can't go downstairs to seek out something to eat._

Almost as if on cue, like providence was looking out for her, there was a knock at the door and Sango came in with a huge bowl of hot soup.

"You are an angel," Kagome said eagerly by way of greeting, and Sango grinned in response as she handed the soup over.

"How are you feeling?"

Kagome shrugged, slurping up a mouthful of hot broth. "Completely fine. I don't know what that means, but I'm not about to overanalyze. I'm grateful to be here. That's it."

"How's your bruising?"

"Gone."

At this Sango's eyes widened, then narrowed again in unfiltered concern. "How is that - "

"I told you," Kagome said with a small, reassuring smile, her voice distorted by the mouthful, "I don't know. But I'm here, I'm alive, and I've apparently got healing powers now. Why are we so worried about it?" She swallowed. "Where's Miroku?"

"At the local temple," Sango said, her brow furrowed, "Researching. To see if we can find anything more about your...new condition."

Kagome read the look on her friend's face. "Sango," she said, "I promise, I'm _fine._ Stop worrying."

"Can't help it," Sango said with a smirk, "I'm fond of you, _Sota._ "

They dissolved into quiet giggles and then were quiet for a moment as Kagome continued to greedily slurp her soup down.

"There's something else you need to know," Sango said, running a hand through her hair and looking like she didn't quite know where to begin, "The daimyo's son, Lord Hojo - "

Kagome stopped her spoon in midair.

" - he wants to see you. Claims to be your fiance."

The spoon clattered into the bowl again, sending a few droplets of soup splashing into Kagome's face.

Sango raised an eyebrow. "I take it he's telling the truth then. You didn't mention you were engaged to someone who's in line to be practically _royalty._ "

"Does Okada know?" Kagome said quickly, "I want to explain to him properly. It wasn't a long-term engagement, I agreed to it briefly and then I ran away and forgot all about it."

Sango scoffed. "You _forgot_ you were engaged to the future daimyo."

"Maybe 'forgot' is the wrong word. I just...I couldn't…It didn't feel _real_ to me anymore."

Sango's response was a wince. "Well," she said, scratching absently at her temple, "Regardless of whether it was real or not, Hojo wants to talk to you. Poor boy looked absolutely desperate."

"I want to see him," Kagome admitted, setting her bowl down on the bedside table and hugging her knees, "But I don't want to give him the wrong impression. That I have any desire to return home right now. I'm with all of you, here, to the very bitter end. I couldn't just go back to living a quiet life in hiding, not after all that's happened."

"Well, _tell_ him that." Sango still looked a little confused, a little bewildered, but was clearly trying to take everything in stride and offer good advice.

"There's also the small matter that he could potentially expose me to Naito and all the others," Kagome moaned, running a hand over her face. "I guess being able to heal myself will be even more of a blessing if they decide to flog me in the streets. Don't know how much help it will be if they behead me, though."

"Kagome," Sango said, reaching across to take her hand, " _Talk_ to him. He didn't seem to be angry at all when he asked me about you last night. He just wants a conversation."

Kagome sighed. "You're right. I owe him that, at least." She stood from the bed and fumbled with the belt of her yukata, tying it around herself tighter, making herself more presentable. "Will you go get him for me? I can't exactly walk around town without, well, you know." She felt the nervousness bubbling in her stomach. She felt twitchy and awkward.

Sango just watched her fret, then nodded silently.

* * *

Inuyasha clutched the large, cloth-wrapped bundle to his chest, trying to still his fluttering heart as he trudged back through the snowy streets toward the hostel, toward Kagome.

 _Pathetic,_ he thought bitterly, _thinking that showering her with gifts, even gifts she desperately needs, will do anything to stop her from hating you when you tell her the truth._

Regardless, anything that could possibly keep her safe was worth the money. Worth the time and effort.

 _How do I even begin to explain myself?_ He couldn't fathom a world where she'd understand, especially at first, that he wasn't the manipulative bastard, the villain he seemed to be.

 _Maybe I am the villain. No matter what I do, I'm the bad guy in this situation. If she runs me through with her sword, I deserve it._

With halting steps, he climbed the stairs up to Kagome's room, and with a hand that was clearly trembling, he reached out to open the door.

But the sound of voices halted his hand in midair.

"Kagome," Hojo was saying, "I've missed you so. Every moment, every _second,_ I've been looking for you."

"I know," Kagome's voice said quietly, comfortingly, _intimately._ Her voice was muffled, like they were hugging each other close.

Inuyasha's hand clenched into a fist, and he took one, two steps backward and lowered his arm back to his side.

Maybe this would be for the best. Maybe if she simply chose Hojo, it would make the inevitable goodbye easier.

 _Maybe I should just leave. Now, tonight. She'll miss me. She'll mourn me. But I'll still be the hero in her eyes. And she'll have Hojo to help pick up the pieces._

It was selfish, wasn't it? All the betrayals he'd put her through, and his thoughts were preoccupied with not wanting her to curse his name.

And he knew Kagome. She'd always believed in him so utterly. She'd be just like Hojo was now, never resting, never stopping her search, determined to find him and bring him back home.

She deserved to hear it from his own mouth that he was a traitor. That every single bit of her affection for him was undeserved.

Stumbling through his adjacent bedroom door, he tossed the bundle onto the bed and let himself collapse next to it, staring at the ceiling and raking his fingers through his hair, teeth gritting and eyes wide with anguish and fear.

* * *

"You've been alive all this time," Hojo said, hands folded politely in his lap, sitting across the room from the bed. He was clearly concerned, even now, with propriety, and he'd blushed fifty shades of red at the sight of Kagome in a mere flimsy white yukata, sitting upright in bed with her hair unbound around her shoulders.

"Hojo." Kagome had given him a warm hug in greeting, but now felt strangely cold and halting in her actions. How could she even begin to help him understand? "Please. Know that I never wanted to hurt you, or my family, or anyone. It was all to protect my grandfather. It was done out of love. I know that's no excuse, but - "

"Have you been mistreated?" He suddenly looked defiant. Of course Hojo's primary concern would be for her girlish virtue and innocence in this situation. He'd always worried about her, whether or not it was warranted.

"Of course not," she said insistently, "I _belong_ here, Hojo. I know that seems stupid or foolish to you, but I can _fight._ Rather well."

Hojo frowned. "But surely, if you're so passionate about the cause, there's something _else_ you could be doing. You could be by my side, helping to inspire the troops, being a beacon of hope, a symbol of what we're fighting for - "

"Hojo, please," Kagome said, staring at her hands fumbling in her lap, "Please try to understand. I'm not who you thought I was. I'm not even who _I_ thought I was. I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that I was _meant_ to come here. To fight alongside the enlisted men. To taste blood on my blade. It's hard to explain, but if you ever cared for me, I hope you'll hear me out."

It was a cheapshot and she knew it, hated herself for it. Playing on his feelings to get what she wanted. She was the worst kind of woman.

Hojo looked ready to cry. "So you don't want to come back with me," he said, "You don't want to return to your family. They've missed you so, Kagome. If they knew you were alive - "

"I know," she said, not meeting his eyes. She had no argument there. "But they're...alright? All of them? Mama, Grandfather, Sota?"

"They are. They're with the rest of our people, in seclusion in the western mountains. They're safe. But, Kagome, you should be _with_ them."

"If you make me come with you now," Kagome said, gripping the edges of her sleeves with white knuckles but keeping her voice calm, "I'll run away again. I'll come right back here. A thousand times over. As many times as it takes. Please believe me, Hojo. This is what I was _meant_ to do."

He looked so hurt. So heartbroken.

Kagome swallowed, feeling a lump in her throat as she continued. "So if you wish, you can expose me to everyone. I'll take my punishment, whatever it may be. But there's no way this will end with me going willingly. I'm so, so sorry, Hojo. This isn't about you, or my family. Not anymore. I want to be a warrior. I _am_ a warrior. And there's nothing you can say or do that will change that now."

There was a prolonged silence. Kagome sat motionless, holding her breath, unsure of what would come next.

Hojo's rigid posture relaxed and he sank back in his seat, staring at the floor at his feet. "So I take it this is a retroactive rejection of my proposal of marriage, then?"

Kagome really wanted to cry then. "If I had known what was about to happen, what I was about to do, I never would have accepted in the first place, Hojo. You don't deserve that. And I don't deserve _you._ "

He gave a soft, humorless chuckle, his eyes still downcast. "I'll politely agree to disagree with you there, milady. You always _were_ full of surprises, even when we were kids."

A single tear fell from Kagome's eye as she watched him slowly gather himself to his feet, looking very downtrodden indeed.

"But not to worry," he said, clearly trying to give her a reassuring smile that he didn't feel, "You'll have no fear of exposure from me, just as I told your companions last night. Just know that you'll be in my thoughts and prayers, always."

He silently bent and took her hand. Kagome remained stock still as he raised it to his lips and pressed a kiss to the backs of her fingers.

"If you ever need help...if you ever, well, _change your mind…_ "

"I'll know where to find you," Kagome agreed, smiling through misty, stinging eyes.

Hojo sighed, seemingly trying to draw strength from somewhere, trying to center himself. "Take care of yourself, Lady Kagome. And, if I may, I wish you all the success in your battles to come."

Kagome couldn't help it. She sprang to her feet and threw her arms around his shoulders, planting a grateful kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, Hojo," she whispered.

Looking pained, he quietly left her there, in her room by herself. She sank back onto the side of the bed and buried her face in her hands.

She barely registered the sound of the door sliding open again after a few moments, and it was only Okada's voice that made her look up.

"What did your fiance have to say?"

* * *

 ** _TOOT TOOOOOOT HERE COME THE PAIN TRAIN AND IT AIN'T A-STOPPIN._**

 ** _Honestly the parallels between Kagome and Inuyasha's situations in this chapter were just too much fun to write. Lying to protect the ones you love. Tis a very noble cause that ALWAYS ENDS WELL RIGHT? RIGHT? HAHAHAHAHA (I'm slowly going mad here, don't mind me)._**

 ** _Ten points to whoever can guess what Inuyasha bought her! Hahaha it's pretty obvious I think._**

 ** _This conversation next chapter's gonna be a doozy, isn't it? Unless someone comes in and interrupts the whole thing. ._**

 ** _Also, I used to give chapter themes for certain characters when I posted installments of "The It Couple." I don't know if anyone ever looked at them or actually gave a shit but hey whatever, I like doing it. The songs are very much a part of my process. I choose lyrics that fit characters' situations and basically play them on repeat when writing scenes that center around said character._**

 ** _For example, this chapter's theme is "Foundation" by Years and Years. It's very Inuyasha-centric, and also the mood of the song is so somber and gloomy. It's perfection._**

 ** _Not that any of you care hahaha. Carry on!_**

 ** _Thanks for reading and reviewing. I have the next two days off so expect the typical meggz0rz-style mass updates. Love y'all! - meggz0rz_**

 ** _QUICK EDIT HERE: I normally get tons of reviews, most of them positive, and I tend to not dignify the more negative ones with a response, but I just HAVE to get this off my chest. I would DM this person but they left their review anonymously, so yeah. I'm sorry, whoever you are, that you feel that Kagome is a Mary Sue in this and that she should have "died and remained dead" but...um...the story would be hella anticlimactic if I did that, doncha think? I just...what? You seem to be a big fan of Ayame (and well done there, I love her too) but I don't understand how revealing Kagome's powers and letting her not drown in her own blood in the snow makes me a Mary Sue-writer who is "letting Kagome get away" with hurting all the wolves. I just...thank you for reading, I guess, and thanks for reviewing, even if I disagree, but maybe if you hate Kagome this story just isn't for you? There are reasons behind my giving her powers here, and the powers are not suddenly going to make her an invincible god. Any mention of such was done by Sesshomaru, and he was definitely exaggerating to make his own point... And sorry for making Ayame seem weak, mind rape tends to do that to even the strongest of characters. Ayame is going through some shit, and rather than play it off like it's nothing I'm choosing to explore the true ramifications of not being in control of yourself, of being violated in the basest way possible. I'm just not sure how you want me to respond here? *shrug*_**

 ** _Also, to the rest of you, don't take this as my dismissal of criticism in the least. I just can't please everyone, and I'm trying my best to make this story coherent and interesting. I love getting constructive criticism (Ember Reverie, you are a MASTER at this and I love you for it). It helps me see where I'm going wrong and where I could emphasize things further to help this mess of a story in my brain come out in the right order on the page. I appreciate every single review, even this one. I just had to respond because I literally don't know what this person wants here, or why it was necessary to come at me like that. I write for fun, and I love writing, and I love that you guys are reading this story. It's just a little discouraging to get stuff like that when I thought it was clear that most of the plot points I'm introducing, I'm introducing for a reason. Sorry for the mini-rant. Love you all._**


	19. Revelations

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Nineteen**

 **REVELATIONS**

* * *

Miroku's eyes were starting to hurt, and the dwindling light emitting from his lamp wasn't helping. He sat back at the table, surrounded by dusty scrolls that smelled of mildew, and ran a hand over his face.

 _Nothing here. No record of_ anything _like what I just saw Kagome do._

So was she some sort of anomaly? A freak of nature?

Or was something else at work, something beyond all their comprehension?

 _Maybe it's something the youkai know about and no one else? If so, Okada's instinct about keeping Kagome's powers under wraps was a very, very good one._

The thoughts swirling in his brain were making him feel drunk and stupid as he stood up from his chair and let himself stretch, his back making a few satisfying cracks.

Definitely stupid.

Maybe it was time to work on the drunk part.

Off to find Sango. She was probably watching the daimyo's tournament. Any excuse to sit beside her and snuggle for warmth, right?

* * *

"Okada," Kagome said, immediately springing to her feet and rushing toward him, "Listen, it's not what you - "

He caught her by the wrists, holding her back from embracing him. He had that familiar easygoing smirk on his face, but he wasn't meeting her eyes. "It's not surprising," he said, "A girl that looks like you do. Of _course_ the poor kid was falling all over himself, right?"

Kagome frowned. His grip on her wasn't tight, but he was so strong he was able to hold her in place at arms' length. "Okada, please," she begged, "The situation is more complicated than all that - "

Okada raised an eyebrow. "Sweetheart," he said, and she inwardly bristled at the sarcastic nickname, "It's none of my concern if you have a fiance. That's all on you. I have no right to act sore about it."

 _How in the hell is it none of your concern, you_ liar?

"I gave a brief nod in agreement to one question, never even said the word, 'yes,' and then _I ran away from home that same night to join the army._ What does that tell you?" Kagome could feel her heart pounding angrily in her chest as she yanked backward, out of his grasp. He released her, and his arms folded across his chest.

"And then, just now, I broke it off. Once and for all. Hojo understands. He respects my decision." Kagome knew her tone of voice was almost desperate, and that her eyes were filling with tears once again, but she didn't care.

Okada just stood there, staring at the floor at his feet, still avoiding her gaze. He gave a harsh, humorless chuckle under his breath. "That was a foolish decision, wasn't it? Marriage to a daimyo is a good move, even for a girl from a family as wealthy as yours. You'd probably be better off reconsidering his offer."

* * *

Inuyasha watched her flinch backward as if he'd struck her. Her eyes narrowed in fierce anger for a few moments, and he was half ready for her to launch herself at him and rain furious blows across his face again like she'd done in the woods on the way to Ryusei.

And then she stopped, stepped backward, sank onto the bed, her shoulders slumped, a single tear falling down her bewildered-looking face. "You're angry at me for not telling you earlier," she said softly, more to herself than anything, "And you have that right. That's why you'd say something like that to me. Because you're angry."

 _Never once believing that I'm actually cruel. That I'm capable of truly hurting her._ Even though this was probably the thousandth time she'd displayed her unwavering faith in him, it made him as ill at ease as ever.

"You know why I don't want to marry him, don't you?" Inuyasha wasn't looking at her, but he knew if he did, those large blue eyes would be staring straight back.

 _Don't, Kagome. Don't. Not when I have to tell you…_

"It doesn't matter. None of it matters, Kagome."

"What, because of the war?" She clenched her fists at her sides, almost shouting. "Do you think I don't _understand?_ I'm not asking anything of you. All I want, all I've ever wanted, is to fight by your side, to be with you until the bitter end - "

"Stop it!" he snapped, unable to hear anymore, and she flinched back again. It was the second time he'd made her do that today, and it surely wouldn't be the last. "You're such a child, Kagome. If you knew who I really am - _what I've done_ \- you'd turn away and never look back."

He glanced at her face briefly, and she looked disbelieving, confused. "What are you - "

"I'm not who you think I am," he said through half-gritted teeth, turning away from her again. It made it easier to spit the words out. "I told you once before, didn't I? I'm not a good man, Kagome."

Kagome sat there, completely still, looking at him like he'd grown a second head. "I don't _care_ who you were before you met me," she said softly, "I care who you are now. You can say whatever you want to me, it won't change the fact that I love you, Okada." Another solitary tear rolled down her cheek.

"You say that to me _now_ ," Inuyasha said, fighting the lump in his throat and the pain in his chest, "But, Kagome, what would you do if I told you my name isn't Okada at all?"

Her eyes widened, and she sat rigid, seemingly holding her breath and not daring to reply.

Ah, there it was. That twinge of fear in her expression.

He felt his throat going dry and he swallowed, silently willing himself to keep going, to get it all out, to _finish_ this.

"What if I told you that I'm here to make sure this war ends, but not the way _you_ want it to?" Inuyasha couldn't help but kneel in front of her, making sure she saw his face, understood that he was dead serious.

Kagome shook her head dismissively, placing an open palm on his chest. "That's not funny," she said defiantly. At his solemn silence, she shoved him away, teeth bared angrily as she scrambled backward on the bed. "Why are you doing this? It's not true and you're _lying_ to me again, trying to make me _hate_ you, why do you want me to - "

He opened his mouth to speak again, but she clearly wasn't about to let him.

"Shut up!" She was screaming now, her hands clapping over her ears. "You _liar!_ "

* * *

It wasn't true. It wasn't true. It _couldn't_ be true.

He was just trying to push her away again, just like he'd done that day in the forest when he'd told her he didn't mean anything behind their first kiss. It was that same old Okada coping mechanism that irked her so, and any second now he'd come to his senses once more and realize that he should stop trying to hide from her, that she _knew_ him so well, that it was pointless to tell her all these horrible things because she would _never, ever_ believe them.

 _Okada, you idiot, there's no way any of this could be true, not with the way you've inspired all the men, the way you've inspired_ me _, the way you've genuinely shown me that you care a thousand times over. None of it adds up. Think of a better lie next time!_

She was just about to say so when the world around them exploded.

There was a vague sensation of being bodily tackled, and she felt the air rush from her lungs, and she was plummeting down, down…

And then, nothing.

* * *

"Why didn't you enter the tournament?" Sango said, nudging gently at Miroku's shoulder, holding her bottle of sake aloft and sighing happily at the bracing night air. "You're a fair hand in a fight, aren't you? You could have gotten a whole purse of coins and we could have eaten like kings forever!"

Miroku, intently watching the action at hand, gave her a sidelong smirk. "What's this 'we' nonsense? I would have taken all the gold for myself and made you _watch_ me spend it."

She wrinkled her nose petulantly, though a smile was playing at the corners of her lips. "Hey, listen," she grumbled, "If I could have entered this ridiculous thing, I _would_ have. It's not my fault your society is incredibly backwards."

"And you'd have won," Miroku agreed, watching the lumbering, unskilled brawling in the ring in front of them.

Sango shrugged, casting her gaze up to the head table, which was elevated on a platform high above the grunts sitting on benches in the snow. The daimyo sat there on an ornate chair, looking a little glazed over and bored. Evidently it hadn't occurred to the man just how long a tournament with open entry would take. Next to him, General Naito and the other officers were watching a bit more keenly, but not by much.

She fought back the little burst of anger in her chest. Because of their stupid laws, she was supposed to just sit here in the audience and politely clap at these subpar fights, these apelike men who swung swords like clubs and had no thought for speed or finesse. _Oh, Father, if you could just see me now._

That brief statement in her mind was enough to make her slump her shoulders a little, brow furrowed in pain, but it was like Miroku read her dark thoughts instantly, and he laid a hand on her shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze.

Through the crowd appeared a shock of reddish-brown hair, and Hojo approached the platform to take the empty seat next to his father. He looked melancholy, defeated even. Sango wordlessly chewed at her bottom lip, then took a generous gulp of sake before passing the bottle to Miroku.

 _Poor guy. Looks like she broke his heart._

She turned to Miroku, who at the same time seemed to be turning to speak to her.

Stopping short, their faces just inches apart, they both turned a generous shade of pink that Sango was fairly sure had nothing to do with the alcohol they were imbibing. Her brown eyes were locked with his crystalline blue ones, and she was only able to speak after a moment of sitting there dumbly.

He gave her a small smile of unguarded, unfiltered affection. "Go ahead," he said softly, his voice close enough that he could whisper even despite the raucous conversations in the crowd around them, "What were you going to say?"

Sango shook herself slightly, her cheeks burning, and cleared her throat awkwardly.

"I was going to say, I wonder if Kagome - "

There was a deafening explosion in the distance, and a huge ball of fire erupted over the rooftops. Everyone sprang to their feet, exclaiming in fear and surprise.

Sango froze in place, rooted to the spot, as around them, there were further explosions and the forest's edge all around the clearing erupted into flames.

 _Fire. Fire. FIRE. Wolves. FIRE. Father. FIRE. RUN. OPEN THE GATES. SAVE THEM. FIRE._ She clutched at the sides of her head, ready to crumple to her knees, opening her mouth to scream in terror.

A strong pair of hands clutched her elbows, and she felt the bracing support of Miroku's firm chest. "Sango," she heard his voice, felt it at her back, "I'm here. I'll help you."

She screwed her eyes shut, stood there motionless for a second, then gave an emphatic nod and shook herself out of it, just in time to watch the daimyo, Hojo's father, slump forward in his chair. Behind him stood an insignificant-looking young man - no, a _youkai,_ he was changing before their eyes, his hair standing on end and markings spreading across his face - who smiled with satisfaction at the blood upon the clawlike blades attached to his hand.

"Father!" Hojo screamed, falling forward onto the daimyo's body and covering it with his own.

* * *

Suikotsu grinned with triumph. The daimyo, dead at his feet. Lord Naraku would be very pleased indeed.

And it had been so easy. How quickly these humans died. How fragile their tiny white throats were when confronted with a blade. Or four.

The young, fancily-dressed man who now covered the daimyo's corpse looked up at Suikotsu, his face with with fear, his hands covered with blood.

Suikotsu raised his arms to strike again, ready to cut the boy in half, just for a bit of sport.

 _Thwack._

There was the curious sensation of suddenly hugging the wall. Odd. What on earth had possessed him to do such a thing, right when he was about to -

Suikotsu looked down at himself, smiling in bewilderment.

He couldn't see his legs.

Very odd indeed.

Suddenly, whatever was holding him up was gone again, and he watched the giant boomerang sail through the air -

Right into the waiting arm of a young woman, dressed in black leather armor, her hair in a high ponytail.

 _A human girl?_ The very thought made him laugh, but when he laughed he tasted blood. As he slid down the wall onto the wooden platform, he realized why he hadn't been able to see his legs.

They were still standing up, a few feet away.

Suikotsu's last thoughts were just how _comical_ the whole thing was, and the last thing he saw before it all faded to grey, then black, was the hilarious sight of his own legs toppling over like a book on a shelf.

He wasn't conscious when his body shriveled into a husk and crumbled into dust.

* * *

Sango caught her boomerang, teeth set on edge.

"We have to get Hojo to safety," she said, looking up at Miroku, who nodded as he bit his own thumb and the Taijiya staff sprang into view in his hand. She unconsciously placed a hand over her thin belt, where the bag with the remaining two weapons was tied firmly.

"Agreed," he said, his tone all business, and sprang forward to sling the boy, now unconscious from sheer fright, no doubt, over his shoulder. "Come on."

They raced through the streets, which were eerily quiet apart from the one smoldering building a few blocks over. Sango, holding her boomerang tightly over her shoulder, couldn't help craning her neck to stare. _Why_ that _building? Just the one, in a sea of perfectly vulnerable targets?_

"Let's get him to the caves north of town," Miroku called over his shoulder, "It's the only place I can think of that might be safe."

Sango nodded in agreement, her eyes still squinting at the smoldering fireball on the horizon.

 _What part of town is that?_

"Oh, gods!" she cried, nearly tripping over her own feet as she skidded to a brief halt in the powdery snow, "Miroku, that's the hostel! The one where Kagome and Okada - "

"I know," he said, motioning her onward, "Come on, we have to hurry and go help them. If they're even still - "

"Don't say it," Sango snapped, offhandedly shrinking her boomerang and storing it away, then jumping ahead of Miroku and increasing her speed all the more. "Don't you dare say it."

They climbed up the steep cliffside to the mouth of the smallest, most insignificant cave entrance, with Sango leading the charge. Once she'd gotten her feet inside the opening, which was just big enough for the width of two men to fit inside, Sango flipped onto her stomach and held her arms out for Miroku to offer Hojo's body up to her.

"Got him?" Miroku grunted out, beads of sweat dripping down his temple. His new staff leaned against his body, the rings around it jingling in the wind.

"Yes," Sango said, curling her arms under Hojo's armpits and with a grunt of exertion lifting his dead weight up into the cave entrance.

"Lucky the kid's not exactly large, right?" Miroku said, with a weak smile, clearly trying to lighten the mood a little, "He _could_ have been, oh, I don't know, six-four, two hundred-fifty pounds - "

Sango set him just inside, out of the reach of the icy wind, sitting up with his back to the cave wall. "When he wakes up," she said, panting slightly, "He'll be able to get out. It's not that bad of a climb down." She poked her head outside and looked at the man waiting just below her as she slung her legs back over the opening and let herself jump down the five or so feet to the fluffy snowbank below.

There was another horrific explosion, and they both sharply turned their heads to look.

It was the fields on the edge of the forest. Where the entire army, as well as a generous helping of townspeople, had been watching the tournament. The flames that had sparked only minutes before were now a raging inferno, but the smoke rising...it was almost _blue_ in color.

"We have to help them," Miroku said, "Kagome and Okada will have to fend for themselves right now."

Sango hated it, but she knew he was right.

But fate seemed to have other plans, because they never reached the field with the strange blue smoke.

Instead, in the middle of their frantic sprint through the still hauntingly deserted city streets, they had to contend with being thrown like ragdolls by the sudden appearance of a gigantic crater beneath their feet.

Sango felt her head smack the side of a building, and with a groan, she shook herself and sat up. "Miroku?"

She felt him at her side and fought the audible sigh of relief, but it wasn't his voice she heard first.

"Human bitch. You killed Suikotsu. With a Taijiya weapon."

The being before her was _massive_ , the height of at least two full-grown men and twice as wide. It was smiling cruelly down at her with unfocused, feral eyes. In its right fist was the biggest, most terrifying-looking flail Sango had ever seen, and in its _left_ fist…

The half-chewed body of a small child, a little girl with hair still in pigtails. Her face and lips were a pale blue, like she'd suffocated.

 _Squeezed to death,_ Sango thought, _then eaten._ At least, she hoped for the child's sake it had been in that order.

Sango fought back the panicked gasps and forced herself to steady her own breathing as she stabbed into her arm and let her boomerang spring to life again. "Monster," she cursed, taking a forward stance as Miroku did the same beside her, his staff held aloft and ready.

"Those weapons," the giant youkai grinned, showing pointed, yellow teeth, "I'll be taking those from your dead bones. You'll be delicious."

It tossed the child's corpse away and raised the flail for emphasis, bringing it crashing back down with a deafening thud.

"You can _try,_ " Miroku said, his voice eerily calm in the face of this gigantic threat. "Sango?"

With a scream of fury, she let the boomerang loose, and the battle was on.

* * *

"Now, now, dear. Don't try to speak just yet. I'm sure you're in a world of pain, aren't you?"

Kagome didn't recognize the voice. It sounded muffled, like she still had her hands over her ears, but she didn't. From the splitting ache in her head and the low, constant ringing she heard, it was likely that one or both of her eardrums had ruptured in the blast.

With a low moan of effort, she tried to sit up, only to find that she couldn't under the weight of Okada's unconscious form. He was sprawled on his stomach, arms around her shoulders protectively, a stream of dark blood flowing from his mouth.

Kagome gave a gasp that came out more like a wheeze and tried to shake him awake. He didn't respond.

Feeling her chest start to rise and fall in panic, Kagome raised her open palm, reached out toward his face…

"No, no. That won't do." Kagome couldn't see where the voice was coming from, such was the ringing in her ears. "No need to waste your energy, little angel. Renkotsu, if you please."

A hand appeared from seemingly nowhere and grabbed Okada by the collar of his singed haori, dragging him backward. Okada's head fell forward, his eyes still closed, the blood spilling down his chin and splashing onto the splintered ruins of what had been their hostel, ruins that were now quietly smoldering on the ground.

"Don't _touch_ him!" Kagome tried to scream, but it came out as more of a croak. She realized her throat must be scorched from inhaling all the smoke as she doubled over with ferocious coughs.

"You're in no place to give orders here, dear." The voice was now right above her, and she looked up sharply.

A tall, dark-haired man, wearing a long, flowing cloak. He was smiling. "Now heal yourself."

 _How does he -_

Kagome fought to keep from trembling and tried to sit up again, tried to will her legs into movement. A strong kick collided with her temple and she crashed downward, feeling dagger-like splinters stab into her cheek and tasting blood in her own mouth.

"Heal yourself." It was said so _politely_ , like a pleasant request. "Or I'll just beat you to the point of death and watch your healing powers take over involuntarily again."

 _Again?_ She fought back a shiver of fright.

Unable to lift her head, Kagome could only motion vaguely in the direction of Okada. He was still being held aloft by the other unnamed newcomer, a man with strange red markings down his face. "P-Please," she said softly, "Let me heal _him_ first."

There was a pleased chuckle. "You really _are_ precious, aren't you? No wonder he's fallen all over himself for you. But no, sweet child. He will heal on his own. Can't say the same for you, though. Not with nails running straight through your face right now."

 _Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods…_ Her hands fumbled, felt the damage. She wanted to scream but couldn't.

* * *

The youkai was _deceptively_ fast. All youkai were. But Sango hadn't expected to find every blow she tried to deal out knocked away like it was nothing.

"I'm not Suikotsu," the youkai laughed jovially as with a stomp of its enormous foot it sent both her and Miroku careening back into the walls of yet another building, "I don't let my guard down, humans."

 _What do we do?_

The youkai gave them another gluttonous smile as Miroku slung an arm around Sango's waist to help her up, and they stood there, leaning on each other for a meager sort of support, both sweating and panting and utterly exhausted.

"I'll eat you first, little girl," the youkai taunted, "And I'll force feed him a handful of your flesh."

Seemingly tickled at its own private joke, it lowered both its arms.

Sango heard Miroku scream with rage, felt him leave her side as he darted forward, staff ready to stab at the beast's belly.

"Miroku, NO! It's a trap!"

The youkai grinned, kicked up another landslide of snow, and Sango flew head over heels backward for the seeming thousandth time.

With a splutter, she sat up, hand still clenched on the surface of her boomerang. "Miroku!" she screamed, feeling her throat crack as she sprang back up to her feet and clambered over the new hill of snow to where she could see them again.

Miroku was caught, struggling, in the youkai's giant hand, grunting and crying out in pain as its fingers visibly squeezed. The staff lay several feet away, at the bottom of the newly-carved-out trench that had cut through the city street like a sheet of paper.

"Miroku!" she screamed again, taking a step forward.

"Sango," Miroku said through clenched teeth, "Run."

"No," she said, shaking her head violently, boomerang ready to strike.

"Release that weapon," the youkai grinned, "And I'll pop his tiny spine before it ever comes close." For emphasis, it squeezed again, and Miroku cried out in agony. She heard the telltale sound of ribs snapping and gave a wordless, incoherent wail, as if it were happening to her as well.

"Or you can hand over the weapons and I'll kill him quickly."

Her trembling fingers went to the bag at her waist.

"Sango," Miroku said, his eyes locked with hers, his face contorted no doubt with the effort to stay conscious in the face of such torture, "Don't. Don't do it."

 _Oh, Miroku. You silly, crazy, perverted monk. What choice do I have, really? You're the one who...who makes me feel like a_ person _again._

A tear falling from her eye, she gave him a weak smile, and the boomerang shrank back into minute size at her will.

"Sango!" Miroku shook his head, eyes wide and frantic.

She slowly dropped the boomerang into the bag.

 _I'm sorry, Father, everyone. I can't lose him too._

She undid the ties that bound the bag to her waist belt, and held it aloft in front of her face, staring at it in a daze.

"Sango!" She was vaguely aware Miroku was still screaming her name, but all she could do was look up at him and give him another reassuring smile, even as her shoulders shook with silent sobs.

With a wild, unhinged cry, she threw the bag overhand, and it sailed over the rooftops. The youkai watched it fly, licking its lips with violent glee, and in its distraction relaxed its hold on Miroku enough to let him drop roughly to the snowy ground below.

Sango moved like a woman possessed, sliding forward through the melting slush and seizing him around the waist, dragging him out of the way.

The youkai's memory was not as short as she'd hoped, and they flew backward when its fist once again crashed into the ground, sending another avalanche of snow at them.

"Miroku," Sango whispered into his hair, pulling him to his feet, "We have to _run._ Just _run._ It wants the weapons. Not us. _Run._ "

* * *

"Lord Naraku!" Another voice, coming from behind her. Younger-sounding, and no less vicious.

"Bankotsu," the voice she now knew as Naraku's answered sagely. "I take it that you've done what I ordered, then?"

"We got the daimyo," Bankotsu's voice answered, "Jakotsu and Mukotsu are making short work of the rest of them as we speak."

 _No...no...no…_

"Any sign of the weapons?"

"That's what I was coming to tell you, sir. There's a girl fighting Kyokotsu with the biggest bone boomerang I've ever seen. She's got the uniform of the Taijiya slayers. Killed Suikotsu with one shot, from what I hear." The tone of the last sentence was bitter and angry, and she heard the sound of splintering wood, like someone was kicking something hard.

 _Sango. I have to move. I have to help._ Kagome gave a choked cough and tried to lift her face off of the spiked nails impaling it, only to feel another stab of horrific agony that made her vision go hazy.

"There's another one, too. A man with a staff. That's one of them, too, isn't it?"

 _Miroku._ Kagome planted both open palms onto the ground, feeling her skin burn where she touched smoldering wood and paper.

"Excellent," Naraku said, as if he had not a care in the world, "They likely hold all the weapons, or they at least know where the rest are. Retrieve the weapons, and then kill them both. Leave no trace."

"NO!" With what felt like the last of her strength, Kagome shoved herself back upright, feeling her flesh tear, feeling her face rip apart and her skin fall open as if in slow motion. There was another ferocious blow to the back of her head, and before she could even place her hands on the ground to brace herself, she felt a hand yank her up by the scalp.

"Should I kill this one for you, Lord Naraku?" It was Bankotsu's voice again. He sounded _excited_ at the prospect.

"No, no, Bankotsu, thank you. Little girl, you should probably do what I told you and heal yourself, else you choke on your own blood and die slowly."

With seemingly no other choice, with trembling hands, Kagome closed her eyes and concentrated, unsure of just what she was doing or how she was doing it but going through the motions nonetheless. The air grew still again, like it had before, and when the glowing pink light began to flow from her hands and seep soothingly into her own body there was a marked relief she felt despite herself. Her hearing became clearer, the ringing noise gone, and the cheek that she had ripped wide open was sealing back up again, the pain receding away.

"What the _hell?_ " she heard Bankotsu exclaim, and she opened her eyes. Okada and his captor were right in front of her, and as her vision grew clearer she saw that the man holding her lover's unconscious form aloft was also staring at her with shock and awe.

"I take it you've never seen a miko, then," Naraku chuckled, "Few have. They were thought to have been eliminated decades ago."

Kagome felt the fatigue again, the overwhelming urge to faint, but firmly bit her own tongue to stay awake. "Now let Okada go," she ground out.

"Okada?" Suddenly Naraku's gleeful smile was right in front of her face. She flinched backward and struggled against the firm hold Bankotsu had on her scalp. "Ohhh, I see. You're referring to _him_ , I take it?"

Naraku stepped backward a few paces, and Kagome felt another stab of fear as he turned to Okada's vulnerable form, dangling helplessly from the grasp of the other youkai - Renkotsu.

"Leave him alone!" Kagome batted at the hand that held her still, but Bankotsu seemed to take no notice as Naraku reached out for Okada…

And gave him a gentle nudge on the side of the head to wake him up.

"Your Highness?" Naraku murmured, almost cordially, as Okada stirred and looked up.

Kagome felt something else in the pit of her stomach. Something that wasn't fear. It was _dread._

" _...what if I told you my name isn't Okada at all?"_

"Renkotsu, release him. Let him catch his breath." Naraku placed a clawed hand on Okada's shoulder, as if to help steady him. Renkotsu did as ordered, and Okada slumped forward but caught himself and shakily made to stand back up, spitting a huge gob of blood onto the simmering ruins at his feet.

 _How on earth is he standing, how can he possibly not have needed -_

As if in slow motion, his eyes rose to meet Kagome's.

* * *

She was being held upright by her hair in Bankotsu's fist, and her eyes were frozen open in stunned shock. There were huge spirals of dark purple on one cheek, like a strange, ashen tattoo. She'd healed herself. She'd been hurt. They'd hurt her.

"Let her go," Inuyasha ground out, his chest rising and falling with every panicked breath.

"Of course, Your Highness," Bankotsu said with a smirk and an incline of his head, and Kagome tumbled forward, catching herself on her hands.

"Now leave us," he said, tasting bile in his mouth, his hands clenching into fists, "You've done what you came here to do."

"That's not quite true," Naraku said, the smile never leaving his face. "We're under orders to bring you back to your brother. He's a little... _upset_ with the way things have progressed. Consider your undercover mission terminated."

 _Of course they are. Of course it ends this way. How could I have been so stupid, so optimistic..._

Kagome didn't look up for a few moments, and Inuyasha knew that the other youkai standing around him were all enjoying his panicked expression immensely.

"Kagome," he said softly, and she looked up slowly, her fingers clawing into the rubble on the ground.

It was like she wasn't quite in the realm of reality, like she didn't really believe what she was seeing. "Wh-Why are they calling you that?" she stammered, her face breaking into a pained smile, like it was all some sort of joke and she was waiting for the punchline. "'Your Highness?' What planet are they from?" She dissolved into quiet giggles and raked her dirty hands over her face.

In a flash, he was on his knees before her, taking her by the shoulders and willing her to look him in the eye. "I tried to tell you," he said, "I - Kagome, please, I'll explain everything."

She stared up at him, squinting as if he were out of focus, like she were truly unable to see him clearly for the first time ever. "You - you're - "

Before she could finish whatever she was going to say, Naraku stepped in and placed a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder again. Out of pure instinct, he growled over his shoulder to tell the man to step back, and when he turned back to Kagome her face was white with fright and she was shrinking back in his arms.

"I'm very sorry, Your Highness," Naraku said, not sounding in the least sorry, "but we are on a bit of a tight schedule, so I'll need to help this whole thing along."

There was a sound like the snapping of fingers.

"Wait," Inuyasha said as the cold realization hit him, but that was all he could get out.

 _What wait I have at least two more weeks how did he just reverse it like that how did he do that WAIT PLEASE -_

He felt the change happening, and all he could do was scream in protest as he watched the claws extend from his fingertips where they held Kagome, watched his hair around his face turn white, felt his human ears slide upward on his head and change shape and form…

"No! No! NO! NOT LIKE THIS!" he screamed, inadvertently gripping Kagome even tighter as she watched it all happen. Her left hand clapped over her mouth in a silent, traumatized scream, and she tried to wiggle out of his grasp as if on instinct.

 _I was supposed to explain, I was supposed to help her understand, tell her on my own terms...NO NO NO NO NO, KAGOME -_

* * *

His eyes were the last thing to change.

As she was held in place by him, unable to move or get away, she watched that deep indigo she'd become so accustomed to, that she'd loved so much, bleed away into the edges of his irises…

Replaced with a bright, gleaming... _gold._ So bright and beautiful they almost shone.

 _He caught the blade in his bare hand and held it in place like it was nothing. Even as the blood began to drip from his hand onto the sandy ground, he seemed to barely even register it. He was just staring at_ her.

"No," she said, as his grip on her finally relaxed and his hands fell heavily to his sides as he knelt there in front of her looking utterly defeated and resigned, "That was - _you?_ "

A single tear fell from his golden eye, and he made no reply besides a pained, labored exhale.

Kagome gave a small, panicky sob from behind her hand.

" _What if I told you that I'm here to make sure this war ends, but not the way_ you _want it to?"_

* * *

Inuyasha knew the punch was coming, and he didn't move or flinch as Kagome grit her teeth wildly and reared back -

Only for her fist to collide with Bankotsu's outstretched arm, and with not a flinch, the other man shoved her backward. "Bad idea, human," he said simply, and Kagome curled her lip in a furious snarl.

"Well, _that_ was dramatic," Naraku said, "but really, Your Highness, we must be going."

Inuyasha watched Kagome's rage-filled glare flash to all of them in turn as tears spilled from her eyes.

Feeling as if he'd been stabbed through the chest, he rolled back onto his heels and stood up, staring down at her and wanting nothing more than to take it all back, to just go back in time and run away from it all.

"Kagome," he said, "I'm so, so sorry. I should have told you sooner - I never wanted - " He couldn't finish.

She said nothing, just stared up at him in exactly the manner he'd expected she would when she discovered the truth.

Pure, unfiltered _hatred._ Stained with dirt, blood, bruises, and tears.

"Come, Your Highness. It's time we got you back home. Bankotsu, Renkotsu, join your brothers and make sure we return with what _else_ we came for, yes?"

The two youkai nodded silently, pointedly ignoring Kagome's motionless form as they passed by her. She didn't seem to notice them, either. Her face was still trained right on Inuyasha's, her glare venomous, her lip trembling.

"One last thing," Naraku called, folding his arms beneath his cloak, and Bankotsu and Renkotsu turned to look over their shoulders. "Don't forget that one last weapon. The prince's tribute. I'm sure you know when the proper time to retrieve it is, don't you? Let Mukotsu know he mustn't fail me."

They both responded with a knowing smirk. "See you soon, Lord Naraku, Your Highness," Bankotsu said with a small bow, and they turned to continue on their way.

 _What the hell are they supposed to bring to Sesshomaru?_

Like he was sleepwalking, Inuyasha felt Naraku pull him backward, his eyes never leaving the form of the lonely, broken girl sprawled on the ground, in the ruins of the room where they'd made love the first time, surrounded by the shattered remnants of their time together. He didn't let himself turn back around until she was out of sight, the tears silently streaking his face.

Just when he thought they had to be out of earshot, he heard it. An anguished, furious, incoherent scream.

 _Kagome...I love you. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._

* * *

"Come on," Sango was whispering, seemingly as much to herself as to him, "Just a little farther. Just to the woods and you'll be safe, and we can hide, and it'll all be okay…"

Miroku felt his breaths getting shallower and shallower. It was likely that his splintered ribs had punctured a lung.

 _Sango,_ he thought, watching her struggle through the snow, sweat and tears falling freely down her face as she held his increasingly useless body upright, _You beautiful, brave girl. I'm sorry I did this to us. I'm sorry for all of it._ He gave a harsh cough and tasted blood in his mouth, and the wave of agonizing pain that swept over him sent him collapsing to his knees.

"No, no," Sango said, almost as mildly as if she were scolding a child who'd stolen a sweet, "You can't lay down here, silly. We're almost there, just a little farther."

"Sango," Miroku found that he could only whisper now as she forced her own body beneath his, hoisting his dead weight upon her back, "You can't carry me the whole way. Just leave me. I'll be alright."

"Shut up!" she said, her voice quivering with effort and not a little fear, "Don't talk like that. You'll be _fine_."

The air was getting warmer. Miroku's vision was growing fuzzy, but he could just make out a few telltale markers as they continued their slow, halted, limping journey through the snow. The restaurant Sango always preferred for a huge, hearty breakfast. The wooden stand, now deserted and covered with snow and ash, where he'd seen that bolt of pink silk cloth and first imagined how lovely she'd look in finery such as that…

 _Too bad I might never get to see it. Or see her naked. That will be my biggest regret._

She was more obviously stumbling under his weight now, her steps more awkward and side-to-side. "Keep going," she was whispering to herself, "Keep going."

 _Sango, it's alright. You can let go of me. I don't mind. You get to safety. You find Okada. Find Kagome._

"Kagome!"

At Sango's cry, Miroku's eyes snapped open again. There, on the street ahead, kneeling all alone amidst smoke and flame and ruin, was the small, isolated form of a girl in a white yukata with wild, shoulder-length black hair, sitting motionless and staring at the dark woods ahead of her.

Sango tripped and stumbled into what seemed to be the closest thing to a run she could approximate. Miroku felt his feet dragging in the snow behind them. _Sorry, Sango. This can't be making this any easier, can it? Poor, sweet Kagome. I hope she's okay. I hope she's able to run too. We're all supposed to run now. Everyone else is gone, aren't they?_

He felt himself drift off to sleep, wondering just what they were going to do for breakfast the next morning. Perhaps some miso soup would be just the ticket. That was Sango's favorite...

* * *

Sango felt Miroku's meager hold on her shoulders slip and felt his head loll forward onto her shoulder. With a last grunt of effort, she locked her arms through his and dragged him the last few steps until they had reached Kagome.

As Sango gently knelt to the snow and let Miroku slide down to the ground, taking special care to not jostle him too much, she called Kagome's name and was surprised at the hoarse croak that escaped her throat.

"Kagome."

Kagome didn't move, just kept staring straight ahead, her eyes wide with what looked like terror, her lips parted in a silent, shaky cry.

Sango ran a hand over Miroku's face just once. He didn't move.

And then she stood up and stumbled towards Kagome, dropping to her knees in front of her and grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Kagome," Sango said, creaking voice and all, as she gently shook the other girl. Kagome still didn't move, her hands still pressed firmly to her knees, as if she were a fine noblewoman at a formal tea ceremony.

Her hands were glowing.

 _Oh god why are her hands glowing -_

The sudden, sharp pain licking at Sango's knees immediately told her the answer.

The ground was still _burning hot._

"Kagome!" Sango sprang to her feet and yanked the other girl up from underneath her arms. Kagome still didn't look at her, didn't stray her look of catatonic horror from the distance over Sango's shoulder, even as Sango bodily dragged her out of the splintered wood and the ash and the flames and into the frigid relief of the snow just a few feet away.

Kagome's shins, her calves, her bare feet...they were covered in those same spiraling, hideous bruises, dark veins snaking up and down them like vines on a tree trunk.

She'd just sat there, in the fire, letting herself burn and unconsciously healing the damage all the while.

Sango gave a small, shuddering cry of alarm, falling again to her knees and Kagome with her.

"Kagome, wake up," she said, shaking a little more violently, a little more desperately. "We have to get out of here. I can't do it without you. Where's Okada?"

With a suddenness that made Sango jump in surprise, Kagome gave a harsh, shrill gasp and shoved out of Sango's arms, falling backward into the snow.

"Kagome!"

Kagome stared up at Sango, eyes as wide as they'd been before, but actually _seeing_ her now. Her breathing quickened into harsh bursts.

She was panicking.

"Kagome, no. Stay with me, just stay calm, you'll be alright." Sango reached out and grabbed her friend's hand, linking her fingers with hers and holding on tight.

And then, like a cord had snapped, Kagome was moving again, silently craning her neck around to light her gaze on Miroku's unconscious form.

"Oh, no," Kagome said softly, a single tear spilling from her eye and running down her cheek, "Hold on, I'll fix him. I'll take it away." Her breathing still ragged, she gently wriggled her fingers free of Sango's grasp and crawled on her bare hands and knees toward Miroku's body in the snow.

Without even looking or examining his injuries, Kagome tumbled in a heap next to him and held her hand aloft over his chest. The wind stopped, all the sounds around them became muffled, and Kagome's glowing pink hand was, Sango knew, repairing Miroku's broken ribs and his punctured lung and whatever else, like it was nothing, like it took no effort.

He sat up with a start and gave a strong, healthy cough, looking dizzy, out of it, but alive and unharmed, and Sango nearly fell over herself as she leapt forward those few steps and threw her arms around him with a grateful cry.

She felt his arms encircle her waist as she buried her face into his chest, and it would have been so wonderful, so peaceful, so _right,_ if they both weren't aware of the need to get the hell out of there, immediately.

Bedraggled, exhausted, and covered in dirt, ash, and blood, the three of them limped and struggled back in the direction Sango and Miroku had come from.

The streets were still so quiet. So empty. It made Sango's blood run cold.

 _Where are all the people?_

Kagome's obvious near-constant use of her healing powers had finally started to catch up with her, but it was with renewed strength that Miroku scooped her up in his arms as they completed the last of the journey out of the town limits and over the rocks into the cave formations.

They found a space, not far from the one where they'd stashed Hojo, and once again Sango and Miroku worked together to hoist another unconscious form inside, into the dark, where it was safe.

"Where's Okada?" Miroku whispered as Sango gently laid Kagome down so that her head rested on his lap. "Is he - "

Sango felt herself shiver, but not from the wind, as she let herself collapse into a seated position at his side. Her eyelids were so heavy. She was so tired.

"I don't know," she whispered, "I couldn't get a straight answer out of her."

She couldn't see in this darkness, but she felt him slide his hand around her waist and pull her closer. Any other time, any other circumstance, and she might have blushed, but right now she was so exhausted and he was so warm and comfortable and all she wanted to do was lay her head on his chest and go to sleep.

"We'll figure it out," he whispered, placing a chaste kiss to the top of her head, "Whatever it is, whatever's happened, we'll get each other through it, right?"

Sango was too tired to answer with anything but a silent nod as a tear, the last of the evening, fell from her eye.

* * *

 _ **THIS DAMN CHAPTER KICKED MY ASS DUDE. IT'S A FREAKING MONSTER (HAPPY EARLY HALLOWEEN)**_

 _ **I am aware that IRL (well not IRL, god Meg how deep in are you bro) the Shichinintai are NOT youkai, but are in fact resurrected humans. But I just liked the idea of them being a part of Naraku's spook-army so much that I couldn't resist. Trust me that they are not the ONLY ones in Naraku's pocket. But for the ones to be introduced at this point in the story they were a perfect fit.**_

 _ **This was such an emotional roller-coaster JEEZY CREEZY. SO MUCH HURTINESS. Poor babies. And the hurtiness will continue for a good long while, so be ready. ("MEG YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT" WELL I MEAN IT PEOPLE)**_

 ** _Themes for this chapter are "I Am" by James Arthur (which is the saddest, sweetest, most heartwrenching Inuyasha theme I've found thus far) and "Kingdom Come" by The Civil Wars ("RUN, RUN, RUN AND HIDE, SOMEWHERE NO ONE ELSE CAN FIND" I'm not crying you're crying shut up)_**

 ** _Trust me when I say that Naraku's torments are not done yet. It only gets worse from here._**

 ** _Thanks for reading, and thanks for all you guys' support! I can't wait to read your reactions to all the fucked-up shit I just wrote. Now I need a drink. - meggz0rz_**


	20. Aftermaths

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twenty**

 **AFTERMATHS**

* * *

 _ **THEMES:**_

 _ **"Life in the Vivid Dream" by Grimes (Very short song, but the sound and the lyrics just fit so well for poor, emotionally and physically exhausted Kagome)**_

 _ **"The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac (I'm sure most of you have heard this one before so it likely needs no explanation why it's perfect here)**_

* * *

 _She blinked her eyes open and stirred, only to feel an arm close over her and anchor her to the bed._

" _No," he murmured, a soft, sleepy smile on his face, "Not yet. You're too comfortable."_

" _You're the captain of the troops," she scolded with a soft laugh, "Aren't you supposed to be awake first?"_

" _I didn't sign up for any of that," he said softly, folding his arms around her and pressing his chin into her shoulder, "And I don't think that anyone could resist, given the company."_

" _Such a lazy bum," she laughed, "What will happen when I surpass you in strength because I have the sense to get up early and train?"_

" _That's fine," he said, and his voice sounded so young, so sweet, "I'm proud of you either way."_

Kagome blinked awake silently, in earnest this time, and was surprised to find that she was crying. Not audibly, no, but tears were streaking down her cheeks nonetheless.

She cast a sidelong glance to Miroku and Sango. They were sleeping halfway upright, and Sango was curled into Miroku's side with his arm around her protectively. Her fingers were curled into the fabric of his clothing, and they both breathed softly, as if there were nothing to fear, nothing to worry about.

Kagome sat up, wiped her face with the back of her sleeve, and gently shifted herself off of Miroku's lap to sit up and peer out the mouth of the cave.

The tops of the buildings were barely visible over the snowy hilltops. No sign that anything was amiss. But Kagome knew better, didn't she?

A shiver racked her whole body, and she had the somewhat delayed realization that she was wearing a ripped, bloodstained yukata and very little else, her hands and feet bare and freezing in the wind.

 _How on earth did I not notice -_

The spiraling black veins on her legs and arms told the story, and she immediately took it in stride and just closed her eyes and moved on.

Gently, as gently and silently as possible, she shuffled herself forward and dangled her bare legs over the cave mouth's edge.

" _...I think you and I are better when we fight alongside each other."_

She gave a choked, heaving cough, fighting back the bile rising in her throat, her hands shaking where they gripped the rocky edge. "You _liar,_ " she whispered, closing her eyes. The tears on her cheeks left small grey dots on the lap of her white yukata, and she doubled over for just a moment and let herself take one shaky, hesitant breath.

Then she jumped off the cliff face and let herself land several feet below in the snow, collapsing to her hands and knees and allowing herself one hiss of pain before silently rising to her feet and descending the hilltop toward the quiet city below.

Kagome reached the buildings, wandering barefoot through the snow. She took some sort of masochistic comfort in the biting cold attacking her hands and feet; at least it was some sign that she was alive, that she was present right here, right now. That last night's events hadn't robbed her of her sanity along with everything else.

But then why with every blink of her eyes did she see his face, what she now knew to be his _true_ face? Would all of her thoughts be haunted by that image forever, that picture of him screaming in protest as his human features turned demonic before her terrified gaze?

" _Kagome, I'm so, so sorry. I should have told you sooner - I never wanted - "_

 _LIAR._

She stopped to steady herself against the side of a building, raking her hands over her face, feeling her fingernails scratch at her skin. She was shaking again. She had to get it together. Just a little farther. Just a few more blocks.

"Kagome!"

She turned to see Sango and Miroku giving chase after her, both looking exhausted and disheveled but determined nonetheless. "You idiot," Sango said, folding her arms around Kagome's shoulders when they reached her, "What on earth possessed you to wander off by yourself like that? There could still be demons about!"

Kagome found that she didn't much care about that or what danger she was in, but thought better of stating such a thing out loud. So she just stood there silently, arms hanging at her sides.

"She's looking for Okada," Miroku said to Sango, as if Kagome wasn't right there, couldn't hear him. _Apparently I_ do _seem as crazy as I feel. He's treating me like a child._ "Maybe he's wounded or - "

Kagome shoved out of Sango's grasp and continued onward.

The buildings were starting to show signs of life, with villagers trickling out looking terrified and hesitant after having no doubt huddled motionless and silent all night, waiting for death, waiting for rescue, just waiting.

"Oh, thank the gods," she heard Sango murmur behind her.

 _Shellshocked, traumatized, perhaps, but unharmed. The majority of the village was spared._ Kagome knew she should be feeling grateful joy at this revelation, but any sigh of relief felt like a razor blade passing up her throat and she hated herself for it.

Finally, she was there. The place where she and Okada had come together for the first time, and the place where everything had been ripped apart. There, in the snow, on what had been the ground floor of the hostel, sat the open bathhouse rooms, the water inside since evaporated with the flames that had consumed them.

"Gods almighty," Miroku said, "The entire building went up. Kagome, did you see Okada anywhere after the blast? Maybe he - "

Kagome heard him speaking, but tuned him out as she trained a haze-filled eye up to where her window had been.

" _If it makes you feel any better, I did arrange for you to have the room next door to mine…"_

Her gaze shifted just to the right, to where the adjacent room had been.

" _Did you imagine this often?"_

 _His hands linked with hers. Warmth. Comfort. Sheer giddy happiness._

" _Only every day. Every day for as long as I can remember."_

 _Love. Oh gods, she loved him so much. So much that she couldn't remember what her life had been like before he showed up._

 _And then the hands holding hers grew claws and started to squeeze her hands harder, the grip vicelike, cold as death. The claws dug into her skin and drew blood, so much blood, washing red over her vision as his eyes glowed and his smile grew wider and hungrier and oh gods she was choking, she was dying…_

With a wail of agony, she tore herself from the waking nightmare and bent to grab any scrap of wood she could find, throwing shrapnel over and over into the empty, desolate space. Her cries were loud, gasping, and she couldn't catch her breath. But there was always one more thing to throw, one more rock or plank to launch at the emptiness that had once been the source of such happiness.

 _LIAR._

"Kagome!" Miroku exclaimed, jumping forward to try and restrain her. She screwed her eyes shut, felt Sango's hands on each side of her face, heard muffled voices trying to calm her down, and shoved herself away.

She fell roughly to her knees again, not feeling the cold anymore, knowing that the villagers around them were likely whispering and staring at her with concern, and not paying them any mind. Let them think she was just a crazy person. They wouldn't be that far off, would they?

So in love with him, so blindly trusting, and she'd never even known his real name.

"Gods, Kagome, what happened to you?" Sango looked about ready to cry as she fell to her knees and seized Kagome by the shoulders again, hugging her tightly, "Please. _Tell us._ Did Okada - "

Miroku strode forward, clearly scanning the snow for a body, or some sort of sign. He kicked at the rubble with his foot, then began pawing through the snow. "What's this?" he said, gritting his teeth and yanking a sizable lump of cloth out of the snow. "Kagome, is this yours?" He handed it out and she took it wordlessly.

A red-and-white bundle, secured with a small ribbon. It was heavy and cumbersome, and somehow relatively unharmed in the blast, though she couldn't say the same for much else around her. Okada had had it tucked under one arm when…

She set it onto her lap and with trembling fingers undid the knot to open it.

A simple set of black leather armor - breastplate, arm guards, shin guards. The leather was high quality, but it was decorated with just a simple stamped pattern on the breastplate, subtle and hard to see unless you were looking for it. It was sized just perfectly, not heavy and cumbersome like her grandfather's heavy armor had been. Sleek and light and ideal for her smaller stature.

 _No...he didn't…_

She felt another lump in her throat and closed her eyes painfully, almost able to picture the scene in her head as it might have played out if they'd gotten the chance.

" _Hope you didn't expect anything too ornate or fancy," he probably would have grumbled, face reddening as he avoided her eyes, "I chose function over form. Now stop taking sword wounds to the stomach, idiot."_

She fought the urge to scream again and let the armor drop to the snow in front of her. With her thin sleeve, she wiped her eyes and nose and sat back on her heels, trying to calm her breathing.

* * *

"We have to get to the battlefield," Sango said insistently, "We have to see if there's anything we can do to help - "

"Kagome." Miroku dropped to one knee next to Sango, taking Kagome by the chin and forcing her to meet his eyes. "What happened? We can't linger here. You have to tell us. Is Okada dead?"

Sango clearly winced a little at the thought spoken aloud.

"No," Kagome said softly.

Miroku scowled, feeling extremely frustrated at her lack of forthcomingness. "Kagome," he said slowly, "We're here for you. Both of us. But we can't help you if you don't _talk_ to us."

She still looked dazed, traumatized, as she turned her gaze back to the strange new armor on the ground.

He couldn't help it; he took her by the shoulders and shook her, perhaps a little violently. "Kagome!"

"He's gone," she said softly, "He went with the youkai."

"He was captured?" Sango said, leaning in closer, clearly trying as hard as Miroku was to get Kagome to focus.

"No," Kagome said, "He _is_ a youkai."

And then, inexplicably, she let out a small giggle under her breath, a giggle that as they both watched in horror turned into almost manic, crazed laughter. "He's a _liar,_ " she said, her blue eyes wide and full of tears, "Do you know what they called him? ' _Your Highness.'_ Isn't that the _funniest_ thing you've ever heard?" Kagome clapped both hands over her mouth and shook with frantic sobs.

Miroku heard Sango take a shuddering breath next to him, and his eyes met hers. Sango looked about ready to scream herself, and it was with the little fortitude Miroku had left in him that he was able to place a hand on her shoulder and squeeze reassuringly.

"And he _saved_ me," Kagome said, shaking her head, her hands raking through her wild black hair, "Remember, Miroku? In Taijiya?"

 _The white-haired youkai. The one with the dog ears._

Suddenly it all made sense.

Miroku felt himself collapse into a seated position on the snow, feeling very short of breath himself.

"You have to see the funny side, right?" Kagome began rocking back and forth a little in place as she clutched her arms around herself. "We were all such fools. Me most of all."

Sango gave a quiet sob and flung her arms around Kagome's neck. Kagome just gave a small smile, as if Sango were the one in need of comfort at this moment, and folded her hands over Sango's back, patting her reassuringly.

"Come on," Kagome whispered, "We have to go, right? That's what you said, right Miroku?"

Miroku could find no words to reply. He felt as if he'd just been punched in the gut, and if _he_ felt this way, he feared for Kagome's mental state right now. "Kagome," he said finally after several moments, "Are you _sure_? Okada is - gods almighty, are you _sure?_ "

"He changed back right in front of me," Kagome said, her smile fading a little as her eyes got that faraway look again, "I have the strangest taste in men, don't I?"

And then she burst into tears, and Miroku lunged forward and seized both women in his arms and they just held each other, all no doubt feeling that same hollow, empty, terrified feeling.

It was Kagome who broke the hold, who stood up first. "We have to go to the battlefield. We have to see what happened. See if we can help. That's all we can do right now, right? Our little problems don't amount to anything in the grand scheme of it all. We're being selfish."

It was Miroku and Sango who had to lean on each other for support in order to stand up and follow her toward the outskirts of town.

As they gently pushed through the confused crowd of civilians who were all staring at the three of them with horrified concern, Miroku didn't miss the bundle tucked tightly under Kagome's arm.

* * *

It was only when she bit her tongue and tasted her own blood that Kagome was able to steady her thoughts again, replacing the confusion, terror, and grief, at least temporarily, with that old familiar determination. Right now, she wasn't Kagome. She was a member of the shogunate army, and even though she was barefoot in the snow and barely dressed, she would do what she could to help.

She had prepared herself for a terrible sight when the three of them reached the clearing.

She wasn't disappointed.

Bodies. Bodies, _everywhere._ It looked like their entire regiment, and several others.

"Oh, _gods,_ " she heard Sango whisper shakily just behind her.

Bodies everywhere, and hardly any blood. Almost all the faces in the snow were a dark purple, their lips blue. Was it from the cold of the snow?

Or something else?

"Is there anyone alive out there?" Miroku called, his voice echoing in the silence.

No response for a moment. And then…

Just a few signs of life. A few stirrings among the bodies, a few groans of pain.

All three of them immediately parted ways and darted in different directions in response to the moans.

Kagome fell to her knees next to a young boy, probably younger than she was. He'd taken some sort of blade slash to the shoulder, and his lips were white with the loss of blood. "M-Miss," he whispered weakly, not recognizing her, and why would he, "Please, _help me._ "

"Shhh," Kagome felt herself going into a sort of automatic regimen as she placed her hand over his gaping wound and watched her hands grow pink with healing energy again. "Don't speak. I'll take it away."

With a glance over her shoulder, she watched Sango removing an ancient-looking old man from beneath two dead bodies; he'd clearly fallen and been pinned, unable to do anything as his comrades all died around him. He stood shakily, hunched over, looking haunted, frozen, and pale. As they all did.

Miroku had answered the call of none other than the man that had been the bane of her existence when she'd first arrived at training camp. Sanada, that was his name. Kagome found herself huffing in derision for a moment and wondering why the undeserving ones always seemed to survive, and then she was appalled at herself for thinking in such a way. _We should be grateful for every single one we find alive_ , she insisted to herself as she finished healing the boy at her side, the telltale stiffness afterward showing up in her thigh this time. She knew when she looked there would be another horrific bruise. But she didn't have time to look.

"Kagome!" Miroku called, pulling Sanada upright slightly, "Hurry. He's been stabbed in the leg; I think it missed his main artery but I'm unsure."

Kagome laid the boy's head back into the snow with a small reassuring smile and then darted over bodies, bodies, bodies to reach Miroku and Sanada.

Sanada coughed, a thin trickle of dark blood running from the corner of his mouth. "R-Rich Boy?"

 _Of course it would be_ this _one who makes the connection,_ she thought with a sigh as she settled herself next to him.

"You're - you're a _woman?_ "

"Shut up," Kagome snapped, "I need to concentrate." She hovered her hand over his leg, and the air grew still again and the wound closed up slowly.

A small stab of pain racked through her, just a brief one, enough to make her breath hitch in her chest for a moment. She felt herself sway a little before steadying herself.

Miroku noticed. "Kagome," he said quickly, "Don't overdo it. We still don't know - "

He was interrupted by Sanada, who with the renewed strength that came with her healing touch was able to scramble backwards, his eyes wide with fright. " _What are you?"_ he hissed through gritted teeth, "Some sort of _demon?_ A _witch?_ Stay away from me!"

Stiffness and soreness in her left arm now. Bruising spiraling from her wrist to her elbow. Kagome clutched at her limb, trying to get the dizziness to subside.

"She just saved your life," Miroku snapped at Sanada, "I'd be a little more grateful if I were you." He looked truly outraged on her behalf, and she might have smiled at him in thanks if she weren't so tired all of a sudden.

"I'm getting out of here," Sanada said, rising to his feet, testing out his healed leg, "It's all over. They killed the daimyo, they killed General Naito. We've lost. I'm done with all of this. Best to just run and get out of the demons' path."

"You're still a soldier of the shogunate army," Miroku said, the anger now fully apparent in his voice as he rounded on Sanada, his hand still on Kagome's shoulder protectively, "It's not over until the shogun - "

Sanada burst into crazed laughter. "You think the _shogun_ cares about _any_ of us? You think there's any chance we'll _win?_ You didn't see what I saw. A cloud of poison that choked the life out of everyone. A hundred blades whirling through the air cutting everyone to ribbons. Humans are done for. I'm going to take my chances on my own."

* * *

Miroku opened his mouth to retort, but it was Kagome who spoke first. She remained crouched on the ground, clearly still fighting to catch her breath and to steady herself, but her voice was strong and clear.

"Do you call yourself a man?"

Sanada just gaped at her, an outraged expression on his face.

"Have you no honor? No pride? No love for your own kind?" Kagome glared at him fiercely, even though she was trembling with pain and cold. "You'd abandon the cause just because you fear death?"

"That's rich," Sanada leered at her, "Coming from a cute little piece of ass like you. For all we know, you're a demon too. That's how you managed to ensnare everyone in camp, like that Captain Okada and the monk here." He pointed an accusing finger at Miroku.

"I promise you," Kagome said sternly, seemingly unwilling to take the bait, "I'm just as human as you are. Perhaps _more_ so, since I'm not going to run away and save my own skin and leave all our civilians, all our families, to meet a terrible fate at the hands of monsters." The final word seemed to give her pause for just a moment, and Miroku was sure only he caught the pained look on her face before she sighed and continued. "I would rather die fighting, knowing I did all I could to ensure our survival, than turn and run like a coward."

She stood up then, a little wobbly, with her brow furrowed angrily. "I may be a woman, Sanada," she said through gritted teeth, "But it seems I'm more of a man than _you_ are."

"Bitch," Sanada spat. "Once the shogun finds out that you're a woman, he'll have you beheaded."

"If you say one more thing," Miroku said, "I swear to you I will strike you down again. And this time, you won't get up."

Sanada's mouth closed into a thin line, but he didn't move or speak again.

Kagome didn't seem fazed by the threat, and she turned to Miroku. "Keep looking for survivors," she said softly, still rubbing at her left arm, "I'll heal whoever we find."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Miroku said, "You look about ready to collapse again."

She seemed, by the weak smile on her face, to agree with him a little, but she just nodded her head. "I _have_ to help," she said, "Otherwise I'd never forgive myself. We've lost enough already. We have to save who we can."

* * *

Twenty men.

Twenty men out of hundreds.

Kagome found herself wanting to cry again. Though Sanada was a coward and a fool, she'd be lying if she didn't admit that his words had rung true somewhat. How could an army of humans, fairly well-trained humans at that, be felled so quickly and have any more hope?

They had to retrieve Hojo and decide what their next move would be.

"Who's ranking officer here?" she asked weakly, leaning against Sango for support as she scanned the men, now all standing, looking frightened but alive. They glanced amongst themselves. It seemed all the ones of higher rank had been closer to the front. Of course they had.

"I think it's _me_ , actually," Miroku said softly in her ear.

"Alright, then," Kagome said firmly, "We're following your orders then."

Miroku gave her an affectionate smile and ruffled her hair. "But you were doing such a good job," he said, "I think it should be you."

"Very funny," Kagome said tartly, stumbling a little on her feet, her breathing growing labored, "I'm about to pass out and you're making jokes."

Miroku frowned, then shrugged. "Alright," he said, loudly enough for all the men to hear, "We have to retrieve the daimyo, and then we're evacuating Ryusei. I want envoys to knock on every door. Tell the civilians to pack only the essentials. We're traveling light, and we're traveling fast."

"Where are we going?" A voice sounded from the crowd.

"Wherever the daimyo orders," Miroku said. "Let's go get him."

 _Hojo._ Kagome felt a fresh round of pain in her chest, but knew it had nothing to do with her exhaustion or bruising from healing all those men. As Sango gathered her onto her back seemingly without a second thought, Kagome laid her head on the other girl's shoulder gratefully, letting her eyes flutter closed for just a moment.

" _You know why I don't want to marry him, don't you?"_

She was such a fool.

When he caught sight of her, Hojo turned white as a sheet. "Kagome!" He rushed forward, looking her up and down. "Who did this to her? What happened?"

Kagome gave a sleepy glance down at herself. She doubted there was much skin left on her that wasn't a mottled purple. This would take quite a bit of explaining, wouldn't it?

* * *

"Are you sure she's alright?" Hojo said frantically, as Miroku gently lifted Kagome off Sango's back so as to allow Sango to climb astride one of the few horses that remained before handing the smaller girl back up for Sango to hold her upright again.

"Honestly, my lord? I'm not sure if _any_ of us are," Miroku said, his voice a low murmur. "The youkai have the Taijiya weapons now."

"Then our next move should be to retrieve them," Hojo said, sounding so young and unsure of himself but clearly trying to stay strong in the face of this storm. "But we'll need time to form a plan."

The caravan of civilians was streaming out behind them, and the small remainder of the garrison looked to both Miroku and Hojo expectantly.

"It's your call, Lord Hojo," Sango said softly, holding Kagome's sleeping form in her arms, "Where do we go now?"

Hojo's eyes rose to look the two girls over, and he seemed to want to say something else, something much more personal and heartfelt, but he remembered himself at the last minute, remembered all the eyes watching him, and swallowed before answering her.

"We're going to the shogun's castle. He'll know best of anyone what to do next."

* * *

 _Ayame gave a soft gasp as she felt lips gently graze her collarbone, and it was with all her strength that she seized him around the back of the head and drew him closer. Her body was so hot, her need so great…_

" _That's my good girl," she heard a low voice whisper into her ear, and she moaned as her hands tangled into long black hair. She felt clawed hands take hold of both her breasts and felt as if she might melt._

" _P-Please," she felt herself beg, but unable to put anything else into words._

" _So responsive," the voice cooed, and she clung to him tighter._

" _Oh - oh gods,_ please," _she said again, feeling a silent tear trail down her cheek but knowing she was physically incapable of reaching up to wipe it away._

 _The only answer was a low chuckle that she felt rumbling through his chest into hers. She arched up into him further, her skin slick with sweat as she felt the hands roaming further and further down…_

" _Ah!" She cried out, hissing in pleasure as she felt an insistent, prickling touch between her thighs. Another tear escaped her eye._

" _My lord,_ please," _she heard herself whisper, unable to stop, her body moving without her, "Please let me_ go."

She shot straight up with a frightened cry and began clawing at herself, trying to remove the hands from her body and realizing there were none there.

"Ayame, what the hell?" She was suddenly pulled forward and felt her face gently collide with a firm bare chest, felt strong, tanned arms wrap around her and pull her even closer.

"N-NO!" she screamed, fighting the hold with all her might, "Don't touch me! Kouga! _Kouga!_ "

Hands gripped her wrists and held her fast. " _What?_ "

A confused, annoyed face. One she knew so well, like the back of her own hand.

"Kouga." She felt her limbs go weak as she slumped forward, her forehead colliding with his collarbone.

"Don't move too much," he said insistently, "You're still injured, idiot. You're going to hit your head again and then it's starting again from square one."

 _Kouga,_ she thought, feeling her consciousness slip away again as she slid forward in his arms, _help me. Help me! He's back!_

* * *

"Prince Sesshomaru." Jaken entered the room with a deferential bow as usual.

Sesshomaru looked up. He'd been trying to sleep, of course, but it seemed that was eluding him tonight. Too much to think about. Too much spinning around in his head.

"What is it, Jaken?"

"Lord Naraku has returned," Jaken said, looking very hesitantly for a reaction, "He's retrieved Prince Inuyasha and brought him back home."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes and slowly stood up from his bed, retrieving his robe and tying it with a pointed, exact touch.

"Bring my brother to me," he said, teeth grinding on edge, "Immediately. _Without_ Lord Naraku."

* * *

 ** _Ooof. This was such a hard head-space to get into, for all parties involved. Hence the longer wait for this chapter hahaha. Poor Kagome. Everything she believed in so utterly, just snuffed out in moments. And everyone's all scared of her now. Yayyyy. -_-_**

 ** _But hey, they're gonna go meet the shogun! This could be interesting. HAHAHAHAHA I KNOW WHY AND YOU DON'T NYA NYA NYA *ahem* Sorry._**

 ** _Ayame's scene was so hard to write too. Because ICK. TERRIFYING. UGH. Naraku, as many of you have stated in reviews, is absolutely the WORST. But like I said, he ain't even close to done. *shivers*_**

 ** _Hope you guys enjoy the chapter, and once again, sorry for the wait! I've started putting song recs at the beginning of the chapter, as per request, so if you guys want a soundtrack for your reading, there it will be. :)_**

 ** _ONE MORE THING, I know I mentioned that I made an Oblivion Youtube playlist, but I've also gone ahead and made a Spotify one as well, the link for which I will leave on my profile. Thought I'd make it easier to listen across platforms. :)_**

 ** _Love you all! Please let me know your theories and reactions. I love them so much. - meggz0rz_**


	21. Stakes

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twenty-One**

 **STAKES**

* * *

 **THEMES:**

 _ **"The One That Got Away" by The Civil Wars ("Oh, if I could go back in time, when you only held me in my mind, just a longing, gone without a trace...") *sniffle***_

 _ **"Without" by Years and Years (This one is all Inuyasha. I know I use Y &Y a TON but their songs are such angstbops I can't help it)**_

 _ **"Streamline" by System of a Down (INNER TURMOIL OVER UNWANTED GOODBYES PLUS KICKASS RHYTHMS AND SCREAMS YASSSS PLZ)**_

* * *

It really was something to marvel at, how much faster travel was when one had one's full demonic capabilities. A journey that would have taken the human army at least a week even at a full gallop, and they had arrived at the youkai stronghold in less than a day's run.

Being himself was going to take some getting used to again. He'd been so used to being Okada.

 _Being Okada. And being_ hers.

No. Thinking of her was too much right now. It would kill him.

All he could do was keep going, keep leaping through the trees, following closely behind Naraku. He could smell several of Naraku's Band of Seven behind them, probably just a few hours behind, but he couldn't tell exactly which members of the group they were. Luckily, barring a few attempts of Naraku to ascertain his state of mind that went unanswered and ignored, the journey had been mercifully silent, and Inuyasha could just concentrate on moving faster and faster away from the life he'd had for so many months. From the girl that had taken over his body and soul and who would no doubt hate him forevermore.

" _Don't act like it was nothing, because I won't believe it."_

" _I've wanted this to happen. I knew I wanted it to happen the first time you held me in the woods. Remember?"_

Inuyasha certainly remembered. He remembered all of it. All he could do was try to spend the rest of his life, however long it was, trying to forget her. And from the state of things now, it would be like crawling through hell on his hands and knees.

With a catch in his throat he remembered, foolishly, that he'd just resolved to not think of her. Surely the gods were laughing now, right? He closed his eyes and felt the pain in his chest and welcomed it. He deserved it. Every memory would bring him pain forever. He deserved nothing better than this.

 _Kagome._ She had stared at him with such hatred. There was no hope, no going back, no way of explaining it in any way that would pacify her. They were enemies again.

So, if he had to, he would be her enemy. If only in the hopes of seeing her again, even if just for a moment. Even if it meant dying by her arrow, feeling his own life slipping away as he stared into those blue eyes just one more time...

He had no hope for anything better than that. At least, if Sesshomaru didn't order his execution first. And that would be the story of him.

He shook his head and pressed himself onward, feeling Naraku's smiling gaze every moment and wanting to vomit.

Once they passed the barrier that Inuyasha knew was there but couldn't see, the dilapidated, rotting castle suddenly thundered into view. A shadow of the former greatness it had been long ago, when it had been the summer palace of his parents, since gutted by fire and age and neglect.

And still, there were signs of life.

Youkai children playing together in the courtyard, clearly unaware of their situation. That it never had to be this way, with the entire youkai population living in exile and under cover of darkness.

Older youkai, adults and elders, were bustling about, either peddling wares at small stalls or monitoring the small bonfire in the center of the square that kept them all warm and kept the area well-lit.

Once they noticed his presence, there was a collective whispering of pleased surprise and exclamations of "Oh, Your Highness! You've returned!" as the entire courtyard, minus some of the more unruly children who weren't paying any attention, sank into a deep, respectful bow in his direction.

 _Please don't,_ he thought, swallowing a lump in his throat, feeling more alone in the world than ever. _Please, please don't._

Most of the youkai refugees had always treated him differently, like an outsider, deferential but not overly affectionate. They knew the kind of blood that ran through his veins, royalty or not, and after what the humans had done to them, he supposed he couldn't blame them for their mistrust.

But apparently the knowledge that he'd gone undercover amongst the humans to try and give their kind an edge in the ongoing war, and the news of several successful campaigns against the enemy, had changed their tune a bit. It had been easy to forget the reason he'd gone to the human camp in the first place once he'd embraced his life as Okada with Kagome by his side. And now, looking at all the varied faces in the crowd, he realized what a coward he was, and how undeserving he was of any respect or thanks.

He was the worst thing to happen to both sides of the conflict. A prince in name only to one side who had been willing to give up all loyalty to his kingdom, and to the other side a general who'd been lying and betraying at every turn and had blood, so much _blood_ , on his hands.

 _Who in the hell am I, anyway?_

Inuyasha knew his hands were trembling, but he fought to keep them steady as he closed his eyes and returned a bow back to them, a bit shallower as his rank demanded, but a bow nonetheless. Some of them looked a little surprised at the gesture.

"Your Highness, really, there's no need for that," Naraku said, "They're clearly unaware of what you've done, but I'm sure they'll find out soon enough. Rumors like that never stay quiet for long. But you should maintain the dignity of your station for now. Bowing like that makes you look so _guilty._ " The words were syrupy and soft, said out of the corner of the other man's mouth through a deceptively kind smile.

Inuyasha stood back up, sighing and feeling utterly empty. "I don't care."

"As you say," Naraku said, stepping backwards and folding his hands into his cloak.

It would be over soon. And despite all their gratitude and respectful displays now, there was not a soul in this world that would mourn his absence if Sesshomaru did the obvious thing and had him killed.

"Lord Naraku!"

At Jaken's shrill voice calling out the greeting, Inuyasha turned with narrowed eyes, his hands hanging at his sides.

Jaken didn't greet him at all, didn't even acknowledge him.

 _Here we go._

"Jaken," Naraku said gleefully, "As you see, I've done as ordered. The prodigal prince returns."

"We thank you, Lord Naraku," Jaken said with a flourishing bow, still refusing to look at Inuyasha, "If you please, I'll take him to Prince Sesshomaru personally. His Highness wishes to meet with his treacherous brother alone, _for now._ "

Inuyasha's face screwed up in a venomous, defiant glare. Naraku looked ready to laugh with glee as he placed a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder.

"Such is the price of love, eh, Your Highness?"

"Take your hand off me," Inuyasha growled, feeling the hair on the back of his neck standing up, " _Now._ "

Naraku left his hand there for just a moment longer, his smile showing no trace of concern at Inuyasha's anger, before taking his leave. "I do hope he doesn't hurt you _too_ badly, Your Highness."

* * *

"Miss?"

Sango looked down from her perch on horseback to see a young woman, her hair wrapped in a kerchief, a sleeping toddler bundled up on her back. Her face was stricken with clear concern for the girl sleeping against Sango's shoulder.

"Your friend," the young woman said, as she walked alongside the caravan of horses keeping pace through the snowfall, "She looks wounded."

Sango gave her a weak smile. "She'll be alright," she said. _I think. I hope._ Though the toll taken on Kagome's psyche was likely more than they could handle right now. Her eyes had reminded Sango of her own, just after the raid on her village…

"She's a member of the army, right? And she healed those men, didn't she?" The young woman stared at Kagome with curiosity, maybe even a little apprehension. "That's what they're all saying. That she's got some sort of power."

Sango didn't answer, just gripped Kagome's arm a little tighter where she held the girl around her shoulders. The bundle of armor sat in Kagome's lap, and it seemed like she was using the only strength left in her body to grip it tightly to herself. It broke Sango's heart to see it. And it also made her furious.

At Sango's pronounced refusal to answer, the woman held up a dark bundle of rolled-up cloth. "So she won't freeze," she said quietly. She tossed it in the air, and Sango caught it, and then before any further words could be spoken, the woman fell back into the crowd and disappeared amongst the sea of people.

With one hand holding Kagome, Sango fumblingly set the bundle in the other girl's lap and used the hand holding her horse's reins to unroll the wrapped-up cloth.

A long-sleeved kimono. Not very thick, but protection enough. Frankly, for Kagome, Sango would take what they could get, with the wind chill growing by the hour. All her clothes destroyed in an explosion, and it was shaping up to be a frigid journey to the shogun's castle.

And it was black. Normally Sango would have thought the color a bit morbid, but it seemed fitting for the situation.

 _Black. All black. Like she's in mourning._

Very fitting indeed.

Feeling a lump in her throat again, Sango exhaled and looked up to the head of the caravan where she knew Miroku was leading the charge. He was speaking orders she couldn't hear to the remains of the bedraggled troops, clearly trying to keep them all moving and perhaps sending a scout out to seek a good location to camp for the night before the snowfall started up again. At the altitude they were currently at, there could be no productive travel in a winter storm, no matter how desperate they all were to reach the safety of the castle.

She wished he were riding back here with them. He no doubt would have volunteered to hold on to Kagome himself, and at Sango's adamant refusal he would have smiled warmly at her, like he was proud of her. But as it was, and as Kagome had said earlier, there were bigger issues at stake than comfort and camaraderie.

* * *

"You're certainly in for it now, _Your Highness_ ," Jaken hissed with no small amount of satisfaction as he opened the door to Sesshomaru's room. This was the first Jaken had even spoken to him; no doubt the imp had waited until they were practically in Sesshomaru's presence to avoid any bodily injury that might result from running his mouth. _Smart of you, you little bastard,_ Inuyasha thought with a low growl under his breath.

"Get out of my way," Inuyasha said quietly through gritted teeth. Apparently his expression was effectively murderous, because Jaken's green skin seemed to pale slightly even as the imp stood his ground and turned, clearing his throat to announce their presence.

"Prince Sesshomaru - " Jaken began, but from the darkened room a low voice, eerily calm, cut him off.

"Jaken, leave us. Now."

Jaken clammed right up and immediately stepped out of the way to let Inuyasha pass, and with a silent, fearful-looking bow he backed out of the room and slid the door shut.

The only light source in his older brother's room was a small, flickering lantern at the far end, but Inuyasha's eyes in this body, his _true_ body, were made of tougher stuff than his human ones had been, and he could see Sesshomaru sitting there at a small yet ornate table piled with scrolls and documents. Sesshomaru was writing something on one of them with delicate, precise movements and was clearly as unconcerned with the darkness as Inuyasha was.

Inuyasha fixed him with a stare, waiting for whatever was coming.

The silence was pronounced as Sesshomaru finished whatever he was writing, put down his ink brush, and transferred the paper further back on the table's surface. The only other sound was the halting footsteps of Jaken heading back down the hallway.

Sesshomaru seemed to wait for the footsteps to completely fade before he turned bodily in his seat to face Inuyasha.

Inuyasha felt himself tense up despite himself under that steady, narrowed gaze as golden as his own. It once again reminded him of being scolded as a child. Inuyasha had always expressed his own anger in screams of rage and perhaps a few well-aimed punches; he couldn't remember Sesshomaru even raising his voice once. Sesshomaru had never seemed to see the need, because a single look could reduce pretty much anyone to a quivering mess.

There were a few more tense moments of silence as Inuyasha stood there motionless. And then, Sesshomaru gave a small sigh and sat back slightly in his seat.

"Are you unharmed?" His brother's voice was low, calm, steady as always. "No ill effects?" With a clawed hand, he motioned toward the seat across from him, inviting Inuyasha to sit.

 _What the hell?_

" _That's_ what you have to say to me? After all this?" Inuyasha snapped his gaze up to meet his brothers, feeling his claws prick his own palms and wincing a little. Yet another thing about being himself that would take some getting used to again.

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow that said, _don't make me wait,_ and with bewildered outrage causing him to tremble, Inuyasha stumbled forward and collapsed into the chair.

"I thought it prudent to ask," Sesshomaru said testily, "After all, when you get a potion like that, there's no telling what you're really getting."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Did you seriously not question it when the vial was given to you?" Sesshomaru pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, as if there were an unpleasant noise giving him a headache and nothing much further wrong. "You simply took it as fact that I decided to change my mind about our entire plan, our entire _strategy_ , without speaking to you personally? You really are a foolish child, brother."

Inuyasha stared at him incredulously. "So it wasn't you who - "

"That should be fairly obvious at this point." Sesshomaru was staring at him as if he were an idiot child again. "What exactly did you think was going on? That I'd decided to just leave you amongst the humans for weeks at a time while getting no information back? Without any personal contact between the two of us at all?"

"I - I didn't think - "

"Exactly," and here Sesshomaru's tone of voice became a hiss, a sign that despite the strange course this conversation had taken, the elder prince was still very, _very_ angry with him, "You didn't _think._ Too busy burying yourself in some human girl to realize you were undermining everything we've been working for. You truly _are_ Father's son, aren't you?" There followed a knowing smirk.

Inuyasha slammed his open hands onto the table's surface, feeling his claws dig into the wood. He moved to stand up with a snarl, ready to strike out, ready to be struck at -

Sesshomaru merely held up a hand, eyes closed, as if this were the most boring conversation he'd ever had. "That's quite enough," he said, "Keep your voice down."

Inuyasha just stood there, hunched over the table, panting furiously. "Take it back," he ground out through gritted teeth.

"You don't order _me_ to do anything," Sesshomaru said with the closest thing to a venomous glare Inuyasha had ever seen him approximate. "Sit down."

With a growl, Inuyasha did, keeping his white-knuckled grip on the edge of the table.

Sesshomaru placed his elbows on the surface, locking his long fingers together and resting his chin against them. He looked simultaneously annoyed and deep in thought, and the brief silence that followed was maddening to Inuyasha.

"The question is," Sesshomaru mused finally, staring at the wall on the far end of the room, wheels clearly turning in that intelligent mind of his, "what Naraku's intentions were when he gave you that vial. What does he have to gain by keeping you out of contact? By letting you galavant off with your little false brotherhood and play human unimpeded and un-reminded of who you truly are?"

Inuyasha felt himself bristling again at the dismissive way Sesshomaru summarized it all, but he forced the rage downward as the curiosity and uncertainty won out. "That vial," he said, fighting to keep his voice down as ordered, "it was from _Naraku?_ Where did he learn to - "

"There are several things that Naraku is capable of that I'm sure none of us know," Sesshomaru said shortly. "But clearly your little infatuation with that human female dulled your judgment enough to play you right into his hands. I suppose I should never have trusted you to stay true to your mission, but then again, I didn't take into account that one single human female of breeding age, hiding amongst the ranks of the shogun's army and willing to let you rut inside her, might turn you against us. A foolish mistake that I won't be making again."

Once again, it was bait, and Inuyasha had to fight not to take it. Sesshomaru, despite his cold and unfeeling reputation, did seem to take pleasure in unsettling his younger brother, and always had, since Inuyasha had been just an orphaned child. It had always been a solid reminder of the human blood running through Inuyasha's veins, that hot temper and the chip on his shoulder, the quickness with which he angered.

"Tell me something, brother," Sesshomaru said, cutting his gaze back to Inuyasha's as he placed both open palms gently on the tabletop, "I'm merely curious. How did you _think_ this situation would end up? I take it your little human wasn't aware of your true identity, otherwise she wouldn't have come near you."

Inuyasha stared at his knuckles on the edge of the table, his heart racing. "No," he said finally, feeling that telltale pain in his chest again and grimacing at the feeling, "No, she didn't know. I was going to tell her, I was going to - "

"You were going to compromise your entire mission, endangering all our lives," Sesshomaru's voice was angry again, "And all for what, exactly?"

"You wouldn't understand," Inuyasha said, slumping back in his chair and feeling like his chest had lost all air, "You've never - "

"Please don't start spouting tales of true love," Sesshomaru spat, "I don't have any desire to hear whatever childish excuse you have. You could have been killed, and I would have been forced to retaliate even though you would have deserved it."

Inuyasha closed his mouth and sat there in sullen silence, knowing his brother had a very valid point. He hadn't been thinking.

He'd been so caught up in loving her, in feeling at home in her arms, that he'd foolishly thought love would win out and...and what? She would have immediately defected for him, betraying her family, her friends, her own _kind_ , just for his sake?

If she had, he knew now, it would have disappointed him, because then she wouldn't be the Kagome he knew she was.

And on the other side of the coin, how could he have possibly defected to the humans' side looking the way he did? One only had to look at the carnage the shogunate armies had left in the youkai civilian villages to know what the general consensus was amongst the humans. To them, the youkai were animals. And it had always been that way, hadn't it?

 _After all, when my mother married my father it was enough to spur on a massacre._

Inuyasha ran a hand over his face, cursing himself for being so stupid, for thinking there had been _any_ chance of himself and Kagome enduring through this conflict at each other's sides. He'd done this to himself. To both of them.

"Frankly," Sesshomaru's voice spurred him out of his chaotic thoughts, "I'm surprised Naraku didn't bring the girl back with you by force. He seemed extremely interested in her powers."

 _Her powers?_ Inuyasha felt his blood turn to ice in his veins. _How does Sesshomaru know - oh, of course, Kouga would have said something. Then that means Kagome -_

Inuyasha stood up so quickly that his chair crashed backward to the floor. "No," he said, clutching at his own head with both hands, "If he so much as _touches_ her, I _swear -_ "

"Well, that would certainly explain why he didn't just grab her right in front of you," Sesshomaru said drily, placing his elbows back on the table and returning to his contemplative pose, eyes narrowed in concentration. "Did he force her to demonstrate in front of him?"

"What the hell does that matter?" Inuyasha was ready to bolt for the door and fight his way back out, punishment or arrest be damned. He could track her easily in his true form; he'd be able to get to her in a matter of hours, before -

"At the risk of repeating myself ad nauseum," Sesshomaru growled, eyes closed in irritation, "Try for once to use your head and not your ridiculous sense of self-righteousness. Did he make her demonstrate her powers, yes or no?"

Inuyasha stopped short, feeling himself shaking with rage.

 _She was being held upright by her hair in Bankotsu's fist, and her eyes were frozen open in stunned shock. There were huge spirals of dark purple on one cheek, like a strange, ashen tattoo. She'd healed herself. She'd been hurt. They'd hurt her._

"Y-Yeah, he did."

"Do they work on demons?" Sesshomaru cut him a sideward glance.

"How the hell should I know?" Inuyasha felt his voice rising; he was growing more and more frustrated, more _enraged -_

He doubled over, raking his claws through his hair, feeling the panic in his chest and feeling the anger rise to meet it. _No. No. No. Hurt him before he hurts her. Kill him. Feed him his own heart. KILL. HIM. No. MINE._

"What I mean is," Sesshomaru continued, seemingly undisturbed by Inuyasha's distress, "Has she ever healed _you?_ "

The memory crashed back into his head almost forcefully, and Inuyasha felt his almost feral rage calm ever so slightly.

 _Kagome's head slumped forward onto Inuyasha's shoulder. "I fixed him," she said, sounding as if she were dreaming, "I took it away."_

He remembered how frightened he'd been at that moment, how scared he'd been of what she could do. Scared _for_ her.

 _This is bad. This is too much. Too much power. Too many ways it could be exploited._

"Yes," he said quietly, his voice scarcely above a whisper.

The pointed look Sesshomaru gave him was telling Inuyasha that none of his fears had been unfounded.

"I'm out of here," Inuyasha said, turning again to the door, "I have to get to her first - "

Quick as a flash, Sesshomaru was out of his chair and blocking the exit, a stern look on his face. "You're doing nothing of the sort, brother. You brought her into this and you regret it, very well. But this is a key opportunity to see where Naraku plays his hand next. I gave him leave to bring the human back, but it's what he wants _done_ with her that I'm interested in."

"You're not going to use Kagome as some sort of experiment," Inuyasha growled, feeling the hair stand up on the back of his neck, "I'll - "

"You'll what, exactly?" Sesshomaru's lip curled upward in a slight snarl. "You'll finish what you started the moment you buried yourself deep in her - "

Inuyasha swung. He missed, colliding with the wall behind where Sesshomaru had been standing a split second before. And then his brother's hand was at his collar, lifting him bodily off the ground.

There was red bleeding into the corner of Sesshomaru's eyes, and his fangs were bared in a true display of rage now. "If Naraku's goal with all this was to divide us," Sesshomaru spat, his face inches from Inuyasha's own, "then perhaps he succeeded more than I had hoped. I have cleaved men in half for less, and you know it."

"So kill me," Inuyasha snapped, struggling against his much stronger brother's grip, "That's the only way you'll stop me from saving her."

"Tempting, but not entirely necessary."

Sesshomaru flung him backward, and Inuyasha felt his back collide with the table, splintering it in half and leaving him in an unceremonious heap on the ground. As he gave a roar of rage and scrambled to stand again, Sesshomaru ended it all very quickly by striding forward and applying a very swift, vicious kick to the side of his head.

The world went gray and hazy, and Inuyasha could only clutch at the sides of his head as the doors were slid open to reveal palace guards filing in.

"You understand, brother," Sesshomaru said, looking slightly out of breath but otherwise calm and collected, "that I'm only doing what I must at this point. There are bigger matters at stake here."

Before the world faded to black, Inuyasha felt arms catch him and drag him upright, and he was pretty sure he heard his brother saying, "Dungeon."

* * *

Kagome awoke to find herself dressed in an unfamiliar black kimono, her head on a warm lap. As she grunted with the effort to sit up, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Hojo, looking bedraggled and exhausted but clearly trying to give her a cheerful smile.

"Don't strain yourself," he said softly, giving her a soft, reassuring pat before glancing in front of him to the crudely built fire, "Surely you're still exhausted."

Kagome returned the smile he was giving her as best she could, but sat up nonetheless. "Where are Miroku and Sango?" she asked.

Hojo nodded over his shoulder, and Kagome followed the gesture to see several other makeshift fires, around which huddled groups of people struggling to stay warm.

She spotted Miroku with one group, spooning out meager handfuls of white rice, sometimes straight into people's waiting hands if they lacked tableware. Sango was several yards behind him, but still in the same line of sight. She had a few drops of dark red blood on her cheek and an entire skinned deer carcass looped around her shoulders, which she promptly dropped in a heap next to the largest fire and clearly barked an order at the man tending the flames to start cooking more.

Kagome immediately knew she should help them, and she stood to make her way over, but was stopped momentarily by Hojo's hand catching hold of her own.

"Kagome," he said, his concern for her showing all over his boyish face, "You should stay here. Let them handle it."

She couldn't help the annoyed look on her face as she stared down at him. "I'm enlisted with this army, same as anyone else. I don't want any special treatment, Hojo. Let go of me."

Her eyes lit on the armor bundle sitting next to Hojo. The black armor that Okada, or whatever his name was, had clearly meant to give her. And as Hojo silently, sadly released her hand, she busied herself with putting it on, as if to accentuate her point.

 _It fits perfectly_. Just as she'd suspected it would. She had to pause for a moment at the stabbing pain deep in her chest as she ran her fingers over the smooth leather surface on her bracers.

She would wear it. If only as a reminder to never blindly trust again. To never let anyone that close, to never put herself in that position another time.

Dressed all in black with armor to match, she could surely fill the hole in her heart with hatred. It would certainly be better than feeling utterly empty.

Sango and Miroku caught sight of her as she approached them, and she didn't miss their exchanged look of hesitant concern, but she immediately changed the subject by grabbing a bucket of water and a ladle and starting to make the rounds amongst the civilians.

"Thank you, dear," said a ruddy-faced old man, taking the ladle full of water and slurping at it greedily, "Are you feeling better?"

"No," Kagome said, feeling the urge to be blunt and honest, "but I'm alive, and that's something, right?"

"It is," he replied, and smiled up at her kindly. She once again did her best to reciprocate it.

"Kagome," she heard Sango's whisper just behind her shoulder, "Are you sure you're ready to - to _wear_ that armor - "

"I don't see anything else around, do you?" Kagome snapped, then sighed and continued, softening her tone. "Honestly, it's fine. Don't worry about me. I'll be alright."

She felt Sango squeeze her arm just once in affection, but heard nothing further.

* * *

 ** _Awww now Sesshomaru needs a new table in his room._**

 ** _ANGST BUDDIES WHERE U AT._**

 ** _Most of you guessed correctly; Sesshomaru is NOT buying everything Naraku's selling, but it seems he's gonna play this smart. Naraku's power and band of loyal friendos have been sort of a necessary evil in this war for Sesshomaru, but it doesn't mean our dear Crown Prince doesn't smell something rotten in Denmark...er, Japan._**

 ** _TO THE DUNGEON WITH INUYASHA AND OOOH, WHY NOT GET HIM SHIRTLESS, LET'S GET HIM SHIRTLESS. (I may have been reading too many doujinshi lately, my apologies)_**

 ** _Kagome is going through her emo/goth phase right now I guess (Note - mine never went away, not sorry about it) She'll be okay though. Eventually. I hope. But she in DANGER, GURL. And she has no idea, does she? :(_**

 ** _Seems like some of the refugees are taking pity on her. Poor thing. PITY HER EVERYONE, SHE DAMAGED._**

 ** _Love you guys! As always, reviews are like oxygen and I thrive on them, so if you have time, please let me know what you guys think! See you next chapter! - meggz0rz_**


	22. Tortures

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twenty-Two**

 **TORTURES**

* * *

 _ **THEMES:**_

 _ **"Cold" by Crossfade (Poor, poor Inuyasha...also HEY WHAT'S UP MIDDLE SCHOOL THROWBACK JAM. This completely sums up how he feels about what he's done and how much he hates himself for it, poor baby)**_

 _ **"Oblivion" by Grimes (HEY WHAT'S UP, TITLE REFERENCE! This one's all for Kagome. It might sound like a dreamy pop song but the lyrics are, shall we say, a bit spookier than that. Like I said last chapter, U IN DANGER, GURL. But she still doesn't know it. Hence, ominous tonessssss)**_

* * *

"Wake up, Your Highness. You've got a long time to spend down here, and what fun would it be if you slept through it all?"

Inuyasha grimaced and slowly opened his eyes with a small shake of his still-aching head. There was a stiffness across his right temple, drifting to the side of his cheek, and from the scent of it it was his own darkened, dried blood. _Thanks for that, Sesshomaru._

Face screwed up in frustration and fury, he spat red onto the damp, cold stone floor and struggled to move his arms to no avail. He was strung up to the ceiling by both wrists by a force unseen, his hands hanging limply, his knees just barely touching the ground. Yanking at the invisible bindings just seemed to make them tighten, and his back and shoulders seared with sharp, protesting pain until he relaxed again.

 _Ah,_ he thought bitterly, as he stared at his wrists, seemingly strung up with nothing at all, _of course._ Apparently his dear older brother had called upon the right person to make damn certain there was no getting loose until Sesshomaru allowed it. How very ironic, considering who it was.

And she was standing there right in front of him, her crimson eyes hooded with what seemed to be a certain cruel satisfaction. That pale skin, those long limbs, that vicious look on her face that had been the source of so much of his torment as a younger boy.

Sesshomaru really did live to make his brother's life a living hell, didn't he?

" _You understand, brother, that I'm only doing what I must at this point. There are bigger matters at stake here."_

Bullshit. _Just say you want me tortured and punished for my betrayal._

Otherwise, why enlist the no-doubt eager help of _Yura_ , of all people?

At his hostile expression, she just smiled wider and giggled behind her hand. "And to think you once looked at me with such adoration, dearest prince."

She crossed the room toward him and ran a long-nailed finger down the side of his face, knowing that he couldn't move away and clearly proud of herself for making it so. "Of course," she said, her voice a lilting whisper, "from what I hear, your tastes have changed somewhat since you used to pine after me like a little lost _puppy_." She smiled sweetly and tweaked one of his snow-white ears with a feather-light pinch.

Inuyasha growled, his ears flattening to his skull.

Yura stepped back and gave a dramatic sigh, closing her eyes and placing a hand to her cheek fretfully. "And now I feel even _more_ tainted," she whined, "Absolutely revolting, Your Highness. You should have taken the advice I gave you years ago and just _made yourself disappear._ You'd be less of an embarrassment, a black mark on our entire proud race."

" _Who's that?" Inuyasha, just barely seventeen years of age, stopped short mid-swing of his staff, his golden eyes wide and gaping as he stared over his left shoulder._

 _Another staff swung from behind and whacked him on the back of the head, sending him stumbling a few steps through the grass. "Ow!" he grumbled, turning back to glare at Kouga, whose face was split in a mischievous grin. "Asshole."_

 _Kouga, just starting to grow his hair out long (a style he would keep from then on, it turned out), just followed Inuyasha's gaze across the courtyard, where a small group of girls a few years older stood, dressed in relative finery compared to some of the other refugees._

 _More and more of them were piling in every day; it seemed the various tribes' uncertainty at his brother's order to abandon their villages and seek shelter behind a barrier in one dark forest with all the rest of them had made many of them hesitate for years at a time. Perhaps they'd finally figured out that the human threat wasn't something to write off, not this time._

 _Youkai strength, speed, and skill alone weren't enough to stop the humans, physically weaker though they might be. Not when the shogun seemed to have given orders to target the children and females first. Not when combat on a battlefield, traditional warfare, seemed to have been abandoned by the humans in favor of explosions and volleys of arrows. Not when the human army spent what seemed to be any of its free time razing the youkai forests to the ground._

 _Inuyasha often wondered what hope they had in the end; Sesshomaru, when asked the question, would always assure him that their time would come, whatever_ that _meant. But what good was such an oath when their numbers were dwindled to so few?_

 _They had a number of legendary fighters amongst them, that was for sure. Hell, Inuyasha himself wasn't proving to be too much of a slouch, especially considering his blood was what some would have haughtily described as 'diluted.' And Kouga and his wolf tribe were insanely effective when they needed to be._

 _But that wouldn't be enough, Inuyasha knew. And he was pretty sure Sesshomaru knew that too._

" _You staring at the new girls?" Kouga elbowed him in the side teasingly, and Inuyasha scoffed at him, feeling his face start to turn a little red._

 _The girl in the center, with her chin-length black hair and those ruby red lips, seemed to sense his gaze, and stared back at him from across the square, her crimson eyes blinking curiously. Inuyasha felt himself swallow nervously._

" _Cute as they are," Kouga said, his smirk slipping slightly, looking more like a grimace now, "I'd steer clear if I were you. They're part of Lord Naraku's fold."_

He hadn't understood what Kouga had meant by that at the time. But now, staring into her hungry, cold eyes, vaguely remembering when she'd occupied his every obsessive thought, Inuyasha understood perfectly.

"So tell me something," Yura said, slipping into a crouch and gently cradling his chin in her open palm, an unsettling smile crossing her lovely face, "How does human cunt compare to mine?" She laughed then at his ferocious growl, and sat back on her heels with amusement. "Not that you'd know. But, hey, take a guess, Your Highness. What do you think?"

"Just do whatever the fuck you're going to do," Inuyasha said softly, his face screwed up in a glare of utter hatred, "I don't want to hear your mouth running any more."

She smirked and reached up to stroke his ear with a featherlight touch. "Awww," she said with a mockery of humility, "And I thought you might want to _talk,_ after all this time."

"Fuck you."

"Oh, no, darling," she said, standing up, her long fingernails weaving together something he couldn't see, something that promised agonizing pain and torture, "I don't think I'll change my mind about that anytime soon."

Before the anguish began, before his vision whited out with the torment, Inuyasha saw Naraku appear in the doorway behind Yura, arms folded.

He looked both proud and amused.

* * *

"Kagome," Miroku said, "Lord Hojo and I have to ride ahead and announce our presence to the shogun's guards. Can you take charge? You and Sango?"

"Of course," Kagome replied automatically, her hands gripping the reins of her horse with what was probably too much insistent strength.

He didn't seem to second-guess her, and she found herself supremely grateful for it as he took three of the remaining soldiers and galloped ahead toward the ornate, well-lit castle on the horizon.

The unfortunate thing about being on the road for hours and hours at a time was that it left little to do but that treacherous act called introspection. Nothing to do but to think about what a mess she was right now.

She was so tired. So _done._

And yet.

And yet she was ready to kill a thousand monsters. Ready to die a thousand deaths.

 _The best thing would be to kill him myself. For what he did to us. For what he did to_ me.

If she could manage a way, she would do it. She would. She absolutely would.

" _Your Highness," they called him...he's fucking demon_ royalty _. He was from the start. And he tricked me. He made me...believe…_

Her treacherous thoughts turned to the first time they'd had anything resembling an embrace. In the woods, on their way to Taijiya. When she'd leaned into him, and he'd made a face like he was in true pain, and she'd been so embarrassed by it.

 _Was that why? Because he knew what a traitor he was, and he was hesitating to take it to the next level?_

Immediately she quashed the thought. Because he certainly hadn't hesitated to take her to bed when he'd thought it prudent, right?

 _But he did._ You _did the pursuing. You stood there above him in the forest, with him looking at you helplessly, and told him not to lie to himself, didn't you?_

The idea made her cheeks redden with humiliation and fury. What a fool she'd been. The perfect target for his manipulation. She'd practically drawn a target on her own forehead and stood back to let him attack, hadn't she?

 _Stupid little girl, always believing in true love and fairytale endings. Believing in goodness and kindness and purity of heart over all else. And now the gods are laughing, wherever they are._

The anger welled up again within her core, and she relished in it, like a wanderer in a desert latching onto a source of water. The anger felt good. It felt _right._

But the nagging thoughts in the back of her head seemed to relish equally in tormenting her.

 _He was the white-haired youkai in Taijiya. I don't know how he changed then, or how he changed back afterward, but it was definitely him, wasn't it?_

Try as she might to furiously stamp out the memories, they forced themselves to the surface. His eyes, golden and glowing in the blaze of the village fire. They were narrowed as if in pain, but not from her blade cutting into his palm. His gaze was sad, tragic even, and even the feel of claws grazing her cheek hadn't been as terrifying as it should have been. It was gentle, halting, as if he were purposely trying to avoid harming her.

 _You LIAR._

It was so convincing, wasn't it? His whole act, the whole idea of his being attached to her. No doubt it was all a part of the whole scheme.

Right?

 _But why bother sparing me when he was in his true form? When it posed no danger of breaking his cover?_

 _STOP IT._ She shook herself almost frantically, a small frustrated whimper escaping her lips inadvertently. Of course, she immediately felt a prickling on the back of her neck that told her that Sango was probably staring at her with such concern, such pity. And it made her feel at once grateful for her friend's worry, and defiantly furious at it.

"Lady Kagome? Are you alright?"

Grateful for the distraction, she turned to her right to see the old man she'd helped a few hours ago, hobbling along on a cane, clearly forcing himself to stumble forward much quicker than was comfortable in order to try and catch up to her pace.

What was _wrong_ with her? An old man who could barely walk, who'd just been through a battle that he was truly physically unprepared for, and here she was taking up one of the valuable horses. Immediately, cursing her own selfishness, she pulled the horse out of the mass of travelers and off to the side of the road, then swung her legs over the side and hopped down, stumbling a moment to keep up pace before speaking.

"I'm so sorry," she said quickly, fighting to keep her voice from shaking, "Please, sir, allow my horse to carry you the rest of the way. My mind isn't - "

"Nonsense," the old man said with a toothless smile as he gently laid a knobbly hand atop one of her own, "You've been through more than any of us can imagine, haven't you? I know that look in your eyes."

Kagome was overcome with the need to cry again, this time for want of her own grandfather, who had always read her moods so well when her mother hadn't, who had always stepped out of the way and just let her _feel_ things when she wanted to, decorum be damned. This man was surely about the same age, and what she'd so feared for her grandfather all those months ago had proven true. Outmatched and underpowered, the old man deserved to rest all he could.

"P-Please," she stammered, closing her remaining hand over his, "Allow me."

The strength she'd gained under - under _his_ watchful leadership all these months was certainly doing her well, because she was able to hoist the small, bent figure up high enough to climb onto the horse's back, and just with her own two hands.

As the old man took the reins, he smiled down at her, and for a moment she let herself relax her tensed-up spine just a little.

"You really are as lovely as they said you were," he said in his raspy, aged voice. And the words were kind and should have brought comfort or at least a little egoistic pride.

But looking up at the old man's gaze, boring straight into hers, was suddenly, for the briefest of moments, unsettling, and Kagome found herself feeling exposed. _Naked,_ even.

"Th-Thank you," she said quickly, and without another word she rushed forward, ducking between members of the dense crowd and returning to where Sango still sat astride her own horse. The look Sango was giving her wasn't any less intrusive, and Kagome just avoided meeting the other girl's eyes as she fell into step beside the animal.

There was the sound of a resigned sigh, and a hand appeared in front of her face. A slender hand, long-fingered and feminine, delicate despite the calluses on the palm and fingertips.

Kagome looked up at Sango questioningly.

"If you don't want to talk about it," Sango said, looking straight ahead but keeping her hand firmly outstretched, "I understand. But I know you're hurting. So I'm going to keep my mouth shut and just watch your back and trust you to talk when you're ready. Like you and Miroku did for me."

Kagome bit her lip, swallowed, and took Sango's hand. The older girl lifted her up enough for her to scramble atop the horse, and Kagome swung her legs over and took a seat behind Sango.

She could find no words to reply. It was amazing how often that was happening lately. So she just closed her eyes and let her forehead rest on the back of Sango's shoulder, a silent display of exhausted gratitude. Gratitude and resentment and anger and despair and heartbreak and everything else.

 _I'm going to kill him myself,_ she thought again, and meant it. If only to strike him from her mind and heart forevermore.

* * *

"Thank you, Yura, my darling." Naraku's voice sounded muffled and hazy. "Let's give the poor boy a moment to recover. Run along now and go find your brothers; I'm sure they're anxious to see you after several days apart."

Inuyasha heard Yura give a small sniff of petulant disappointment, but she answered, "Yes, of course, my lord. Thank you. I'm sure they're all mourning our loss; I should be with them."

"My eternal respects to Suikotsu and his sacrifice," Naraku replied. Inuyasha wordlessly shifted himself to try and find a less painful position and found no respite. There were small rivers of blood running down his arms, down his chest, down his face…

"Oh, my lord," Yura whispered, sounding so enamoured and so grateful. Through the white curtain of hair hanging over his face, Inuyasha saw her slender legs drop into a deferential bow.

"Without him," Naraku said, his voice as gentle as a songbird's, "we might have had much more trouble finding the keeper of the Taijiya weapons. Take solace in that he likely felt no pain and died with honor."

Yura's legs disappeared from Inuyasha's view as she rose back to her feet and stepped closer to Naraku's robed form. "My lord," she said, her voice low in volume but high in pitch, needy and seductive and worshipful, "We truly don't deserve you."

"My beautiful girl." Naraku chuckled, and Inuyasha felt his stomach growing more and more unsettled as he glared at the stone floor in front of him until he heard Yura's footsteps disappear out the door and back down the dark hallway.

A hand shot out and lifted him up by the chin. Inuyasha growled and bared his fangs, trying to mask the surprise. He hadn't even heard Naraku take a step, and here the demon lord was, crouching in front of him with an affable-looking smile.

"She is quite the little terror, isn't she? How much she's grown in the past few years." Naraku looked away for a moment, as if he were reminiscing something vile and lustful and relishing in it. "Of course, that's just the opening round, Your Highness."

The fingers under Inuyasha's chin tightened their grip to the point of pain.

"Now then," Naraku said, "I'd like to discuss your little human girl, if you please."

Inuyasha lunged against the restraints he couldn't see, sending spatterings of blood forward onto the floor.

"What have you done to her?" he snapped, feeling his mind start to reel with the most gruesome images…

 _Black hair damp with sweat and blood, plastered to a face as pale as the moon; lips parted in a silent scream as tears trailed down her cheeks from those brilliant blue eyes, eyes that were glazed over in agony as the spiraling, dark bruises overtook her skin, her body's way of crying out in protest and pain, trying to fight off what was happening to her…_

"Relax, Your Highness," Naraku said, not even flinching as flecks of Inuyasha's blood continued to rain forward, spattering the hem of his robes. His smile was one of pure glee. "I haven't done a single thing to her, I promise."

"What the hell are you planning, you - "

The fingers on his chin gripped even harder, and Inuyasha felt himself wince despite himself.

"I just have a few questions," Naraku said lightly, as if he were merely discussing the weather. "I find her very intriguing, you see."

Inuyasha lunged at him again, then wrenched his head out of Naraku's hand with a tearing motion. With a feral yell, he yanked once more at the unseen bonds covering his wrists, and fresh blood started to trail down his arms again. Undeterred by the pain, he continued to pull on the restraints, washing himself in his own blood, feeling himself starting to slip on it in his crouched position as he tried to lash out at Naraku with awkward kicks, swipes with his claws, _anything_ that would possibly hurt the dark-haired youkai sitting just out of reach and clearly enjoying every moment of this.

"Such ferocity!" Naraku said, nodding his head admiringly, the smile never leaving his face. "You really do love that little slip of a thing, don't you? I'm so glad Prince Sesshomaru _didn't_ order your execution for treason. Who knows what might have become of your little human then?"

"I'm going to _TEAR YOUR THROAT OUT!_ " Inuyasha screamed, his throat growing raw, his words growing more and more raspy as he continued to fight to no avail. Yura's magic was strong, and if he'd been unable to break it at full strength hours ago, there was no way to get out of these bonds when he was on the verge of passing out from blood loss.

"Really, Your Highness, there's no need for such a _tantrum._ When all I'm trying to do is return her to your arms where she belongs. Wouldn't you like that?"

Inuyasha stopped struggling for a moment and glared at Naraku, fangs bared. "So help me, Naraku, if you harm a single hair on her head, I'll - "

"You'll _what,_ exactly? Your elder brother has given me full permission to retrieve her, and I am nothing if not a loyal subject."

Inuyasha lunged again, this time hard enough to actually make the heavy posts he was chained to _creak_ under the pressure. He was hyperventilating, his limbs all shaking with the adrenaline and rage coursing through his system.

There were a few tense moments of silence as Naraku waited patiently for Inuyasha to stop trying to swipe his head off again, still smiling that unsettling smile. Then the dark youkai spoke again.

"My dear Prince Inuyasha," Naraku said calmly, "She could be a great asset to us. I'm sure the fact that she's a human would soon be overlooked once everyone finds out what she can do. Even your dear brother will surely come around, and you'll both be allowed to live happily forevermore. Now are you going to tell me how and when her powers manifested, or will I have to ask _her_ about it?"

There was another silence and Naraku seemed to eagerly wait for his response.

"She doesn't belong with me," Inuyasha said, glaring up at Naraku defiantly.

 _She never did._

This didn't seem to be the answer Naraku had wanted, naturally. It gave Inuyasha a grim satisfaction for the briefest of moments, watching the smirk wipe itself off his smug face.

That is, until Naraku stood back up to his full height and folded his arms back into his cloak.

"I wonder," he said softly, and the tone of his voice was colder and more overtly hostile than Inuyasha had ever heard it before, "just what you think acting so stubbornly will gain you, Your Highness. Honestly, at this point perhaps I should just keep her for myself if we can't come to some sort of agreement here." At this, the smile returned, the white teeth gleaming in the lamplight.

"I said it already," Inuyasha growled, fighting to keep his breathing in check, to keep his blood-coated arms from trembling harder than they already were, "If you touch her, even _once,_ I'll find out. And I'll make you pay. I'll rip your heart out and force you to eat it. That's a _promise,_ Naraku."

"You're much further gone than Prince Sesshomaru thought, to consider betraying your kind even further," Naraku said, shaking his head as if in pity but clearly unable to keep the grin off his face, "No doubt that's why he ordered you sent down here.

"But not to worry, my dear prince," Naraku said, reaching out and laying a hand atop Inuyasha's head like a parent would to a small child, "I'll find out what I want to know, one way or another, and Prince Sesshomaru will be eternally grateful for it once he sees the results."

Inuyasha growled again and tried to duck out of reach, but it seemed that the exsanguination had finally, truly caught up to him, because his reflexes were slowing to a sluggish pace. The muscles of his neck seemed to give out, and he felt his chin slump downward, almost resting atop his collarbone. The ground below was growing fuzzy and hazy again, no matter how hard he was screaming inside his own head to wake up, _wake up,_ _he's going to hurt Kagome, he's going to hurt her you have to get free you have to kill him hurt him make him see his own INSIDES, KILL, make him hurt like he's going to hurt her he's GOING TO HURT HER...going to...hurt her...like I hurt her..._

"Time for a rest, Your Highness," Naraku said with a patronizing ruffle of Inuyasha's bloodstained hair, "You should use the time to reflect, I think. There's no reason for this hostility between us, and I hope to prove that to you soon enough.

"Perhaps when you see her again, you'll come around."

* * *

"Kagome," Hojo called from across the courtyard as she and Sango crossed the gates and entered the protection of the shogun's walls, "Come stand with me."

Kagome raised her head and glanced over Sango's shoulder to where he stood, surrounded by a small group of men who were no doubt some of the shogun's guards, assigned to protect him with breakneck speed.

She felt herself sigh and was about to figure out a way to demur, but Sango turned and gave her a pointed look.

"Kagome, go with him." Sango looked a little hesitant, a little nervous, as she gently inclined her head toward the gathered crowd of soldiers, servants, guards, and civilians, many of whom were staring up at the two armor-clad women on horseback with surprise and suspicion.

"What about you?" Kagome mumbled through half-sealed lips.

"I'll be alright," Sango said quietly, "Technically, I'm still just a refugee in this situation. You're the one who needs all the friends in high places she can get right now."

Kagome sighed again, running a hand through her hair, and let herself slide off the horse's rump and land on her feet atop the cold, tightly pressed earth.

Feeling that telltale numbness and exhaustion again, this time from the hours on horseback in unforgiving weather, she stumbled up to where Hojo was standing, staring at him through heavy-lidded eyes.

"Lord Daimyo," one of the guards said, eyeing her with hesitation, "This woman, is she the one they're talking about? The one who broke the law and disguised herself to infiltrate - "

"That's quite enough," Hojo said, and Kagome felt herself blink with surprise at the dignity and sternness of his tone. It was so unlike the unsure, quiet boy she'd grown up with, so unlike the timid young man who'd asked for her hand in marriage all those many, many months ago when the world wasn't yet full of monsters and the thing she wanted more than anything was adventure.

"This is Kagome," Hojo continued, stepping forward to take her hand pointedly, "And she's my future wife. Now let's get her inside and get her warm. She'll need some proper clothes as well; Our Lord Shogun is no doubt waiting for both of us."

Kagome opened her mouth in surprise, but Hojo's blue eyes were boring into her own, giving her a silent signal to play along.

Apparently the news of a woman hiding in the ranks of the shogunate army had spread like wildfire quicker than anyone had expected. And apparently it wasn't likely to go over well with the shogun himself unless a miracle happened.

 _Sango was right,_ Kagome thought hopelessly as Hojo slipped a protective arm around her waist and led her inside, flanked by guards, _I'm going to need all the friends in high places I can get._ She cast one last glance over her shoulder and saw Miroku and Sango standing in the crowd, their faces full of fear and trepidation.

* * *

 ** _Gotta say, really weird writing a Yura who's not a Rita Skeeter-esque poison pen tabloid journalist hahahaha (Once again, see "The It Couple" for reference)_**

 ** _SPOOKY BLOODY TORTURE AND AN EEEEEVIL WOMAN YESSSSS *checks off bucket list*_**

 ** _Yura's just the worst. You'll see what I mean in future chapters, I'm sure. Also, yayyy another of Naraku's creepy clan is revealed!_**

 ** _One quick note. I know Naraku called the Band of Seven her 'brothers' in this chapter, but I know I'm gonna get a ton of comments being like "WTF are you doing Meg are they ALL gonna be related" and NO, THEY'RE NOT ACTUALLY RELATED AS IN SAME MOM AND DAD. Just think of 'brothers' as a term for really close companionship. Same technically goes for the Shichinintai themselves, actually, now that I think about it. It's a weird, fucked-up family-ish situation. If that makes any sense._**

 ** _Poor Kagome having to reflect on everything even further. She's certainly starting to question some stuff in her mind, even though she doesn't want to admit anything that shifts the blame off of You-Know-Who right now (and no I'm not talking about Voldemort although that would be hilarious)._**

 ** _Also, side note - I genuinely love the supportive vibes Sango's giving out and I wish she could be my friend IRL when I'm going through some shit hahaha. She's been there and she knows that sometimes the best thing you can do for a friend is just be there, in whatever capacity, and be patient._**

 ** _Hojo steppin in and playing Adult Man Hojo (c 2018) once more! As much of a load and a burden he can be in combat situations, it IS handy to have him in their corner when it comes to playing politics, I suppose. Unless the shogun is in no mood to hear any explanations. *gulp*_ _  
_**

 ** _Hope you guys enjoyed this! As always, reviews are the greatest thing ever, so please let me know what you think! See y'all in the next one! - meggz0rz_**


	23. Psyches

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twenty-Three**

 **PSYCHES**

* * *

 _ **THEMES:**_

 _ **"Ship to Wreck" by Florence + The Machine (Kagome's feeling a bit defeated right now. As am I. Whew.)**_

 _ **"The Anchor" by Bastille (Can't say who this is for til we reach the end of the chapter! "You were the light that is blinding me, you're the anchor that I tie to my brain, cause when it feels when I'm lost at sea, you're the song I sing again and again...")**_

 _ **"Unintended" by Muse (Yet another one for - wellp, can't say yet. :D Also this song is BEAUTIFUL YOU GUYS. Just...BEAUTIFUL.)**_

* * *

"Wow," Hojo said, his eyes wide, his cheeks slightly pink. He had his hands folded into the sleeves of his robe, and she could see that his fingers were twitching awkwardly.

Kagome could do nothing but give him a weak smile. Upon exiting her room, adorned in full formal court attire, she had seemed to automatically fall into character, that of the well-brought-up young lady who belonged on the arm of a powerful man. Who did nothing but demur and smile and act as if matters of war and sacrifice were far beyond her understanding.

 _Just as Mother always wanted_ , she thought wryly as Hojo stepped forward and folded her hand into the crook of his own elbow.

"You look wonderful," Hojo whispered as they slowly made their way down the long, lantern-lit hallway, "Not that that's an appropriate thing to say right now. I'm sorry. Just please, Kagome, promise me that you'll just play along. I'm so sorry I had to say that we're still - well, betrothed - but regardless, I'll do my best to get you out of this, all right?"

"It's more than I deserve," she replied softly, and meant it, as she gently fingered the ornate style her hair had been woven into by the three maidservants she'd been assigned. They'd managed to make it look like she hadn't spent endless hours covered in mud and blood and ash, and for that she might as well call them miracle workers.

The bath they'd drawn for her had been warm and inviting and just the right temperature, with steam gently rolling off the surface. And Kagome had been unable to stay in for any good length of time because her brain wouldn't stop remembering a voice whispering sweet nothings, remembering long, dark hair that wasn't her own that surrounded her bare shoulders like a curtain as strong arms held her tightly.

She'd even given an unceremonious huff into the bathwater, glaring at the steamy surface and wondering inwardly if she'd ever be able to do _anything_ ever again without memories screwing it up, right before hurriedly scrubbing at her skin with furious abandon and then climbing back out of the bath as if it were ice-cold.

If they'd noticed her melancholy mood, the three young female attendants had politely avoided the subject, just as good servants would. They'd dressed her and done her hair (pausing only once for a sidelong glance to each other at the singed, hacked-off ends of what had once been beautiful long, dark tresses) and spoken as little as possible. It had been strange, going back to this. Seventeen years of living this way, with servants to supply whatever she wanted, and now that it was happening again, she felt like an impostor playing pretend, more so than ever.

"You really do look like _yourself_ again," Hojo said softly, his brown eyes glowing so sweetly and earnestly in the yellow light of the lamps.

She knew he meant it as a compliment, she _knew_ he did, but it just made her chest ache. So she didn't respond.

They reached a large ornate doorway flanked by sentries. Said sentries immediately seemed to recognize Hojo, because they bowed deeply and stepped aside to pull the doors open.

As they did so, she felt Hojo squeeze her hand just once before letting go.

They stepped inside, and Kagome was very surprised indeed. She'd been expecting a throne room, a huge expanse of formal pomp and circumstance with courtiers and noblemen all gathered to witness, scrutinize, and judge. Perhaps a long walkway for her to be paraded down, her own walk of shame, as whispers filled her ears that no doubt would have been eager talk of setting some sort of example by her. Showing women that their place was in the home and under protection of their men.

But it seemed to instead be a sort of open-air courtyard, surrounded by four high cherry-red walls and filled with lovely flowers and shrubs. There were large urns full of flames at each of the four corners, providing a semblance of summery warmth to the plants even in the chilly winter air. A small hand-dug waterway lined the garden, and the sound of its gurgling stream was pleasant and calming. An arrangement of tatami mats provided a walkway, and it was Hojo's gentle tug at her elbow that spurred her onward.

Kagome kept her eyes to the floor as they walked, as was custom for a lady of breeding to do (her mother had certainly _tried_ very hard to drill that into her, and so once again Kagome was finally acting as she _should_ , and the irony of such didn't miss her notice). She watched out of the corner of her eye, and when Hojo stopped and knelt to the ground, she did as well, keeping silent.

"Lord Shogun," Hojo said, and once again his voice was stronger and clearer than she was used to ever hearing, "My lady wife-to-be and I are honored to be admitted to your home in this time of strife. We thank you most graciously for your hospitality and your wisdom."

There was no immediate answer, and out of sheer curiosity and without inclining her head too much and making it obvious, Kagome glanced upward.

The shogun himself was standing there, about ten feet in front of them, dressed very comfortably and informally, as he painstakingly tended to a blooming spray of flowers. He hadn't turned around yet, but she could just see his profile as he calmly arranged a bloom that was slightly askew back to its rightful place in the arrangement.

He was a very distinguished looking old man, just as Kagome had expected. Black hair tied in a severe topknot, spattered with grey and white at the temples, and a neat, triangular beard peppered with the same coloring. A face that showed age, but not in the same way her grandfather's face had shown age. Here the age was in scars, scars and roughness and wrinkles just at the corners of the eyes and mouth.

"Lord Hojo," the shogun finally spoke, and his voice was very soft and unassuming, quite unexpected for a man who commanded armies of thousands and controlled lands beyond measure, "I was sorry to hear about your father's passing. He was a good man. A loyal daimyo. Our cause was all the stronger for his presence, and your mother and the rest of your clan are in my prayers tonight."

"Th-Thank you, my lord," Hojo said, seemingly a little caught-off-guard as well.

The shogun finally turned around, folding his arms into his sleeves and regarding the two of them with an air of mild curiosity. Kagome immediately forced her eyes back downward, staring at her own hands on the chilly ground and remembering Hojo's advice. _Just play along,_ she told herself, _don't be an idiot, don't reveal yourself as the improper wild child you really are. Right now, you're the wife-to-be of the daimyo, and he's standing by you. It's more than you deserve, and you know it._

"And you, young lady."

She felt Hojo tense up next to her, and they sat there stock still, waiting for the shogun to speak again. Kagome took a deep, silent breath and closed her eyes.

The shogun was obviously studying her just as she had been studying him, and the silence was almost unbearable.

"You are Kagome, of the clan Higurashi," he said.

Unsure if she was allowed to reply, Kagome glanced sidelong at Hojo, who gave her an almost imperceptible nod.

"I am, my lord," she said, just as quietly, keeping her hands folded in front of her.

She heard the shogun step forward, and then there was a weathered hand beneath her chin, gently forcing her to look upward at him. He had dark-blue eyes that immediately harnessed her gaze and held it in place.

"I've heard tell of you," the shogun said, his tone still scarcely above a murmur's volume, but edged with a hint of steel nonetheless. "You stole your grandfather's armor. Ran away to impersonate a soldier in my army."

Kagome furrowed her brow and felt her posture slump slightly, but she said nothing. The blue gaze that bored into her own narrowed slightly, just slightly, and she suppressed a small shiver as she felt all her inner courage turn to dust.

" _I always said you should be more careful about this shit."_

 _Get out of my head_ , she growled inwardly, pressing her teeth roughly into the tip of her tongue, forcing it to _hurt._

"Do you deny this?" The shogun raised a narrow, aristocratic eyebrow, his mouth drawn in a thin line. He held her chin gently, but such was the wiry strength in his arms that she knew there was no option to avert her eyes or look away, and to do so anyway would have been a sign of shame.

 _And thus a guilty verdict._

At the corner of her vision she could see Hojo staring at her, his face growing pale in a quiet fright, and she wondered if she looked the same. A frightened child, well out of their element. But somehow, somehow, she was able to remember herself, give a quiet exhale, and give the shogun an answer. "No, my lord Shogun. I can't deny it."

"I'm interested, then," the shogun said, finally releasing her chin and turning back to face the splendor of his private garden, hands on his hips, voice still eerily calm, "to hear why you deliberately ignored the laws my dynasty has had in place for centuries. Why you thought they didn't apply to you."

Another shudder threatened to rack her body, but Kagome forced herself to swallow and answered him. "Please believe me, my lord, it was only done out of love for my family. It was done to save a man's life, a man who has given the shogunate so much of his lifeblood already - "

"Enough." Without turning around, the shogun raised a hand to signal silence.

Kagome's mouth snapped shut, and her gaze fell back to her hands on the ground. She was pretty sure that next to her, Hojo was starting to tremble with fright.

 _So much for appealing to the man's forgiving nature_ , Kagome thought, feeling the dread and the resignation creeping through her very bones.

"My lord shogun," Hojo said, seemingly trying to keep his voice as steady and clear as it had been before, "If I may - "

"You may _not_ , Lord Hojo."

She felt Hojo shrink back next to her but kept her eyes cast downward.

There was a pronounced silence, and the air in the room grew thick with tension again. The shogun approached the flower blooms once again and was studying them with the air of a man who knew he could move at his own pace and act at his own will, and that everyone else would just await his notice before daring to act or speak. The air of a true man of absolute power.

"You did all this," the old man finally said, still not turning back around, "And you were well aware what the penalty would be."

"I - yes, my lord Shogun," Kagome whispered, and her eyes closed, stinging with unshed tears. Her hands were starting to tremble, but not from the chill in the night air.

 _I suppose this is it. Going out with a whimper, set to be stricken from the pages of history and forcibly forgotten by all but only a select few. Grandfather, Mama, Sota, Miroku, Sango, Hojo…_

Another name lingered on the edge of her thoughts but she refused to give him the satisfaction as her heart again seized with even greater pain.

And then the shogun gave a quiet chuckle, one that made Kagome's head jerk upward to stare at him. "You have conviction, Lady Kagome, that much is certain," he said. "And all I seem to keep hearing is how you took to the soldier's life like a fish to water. That you have given your own blood and sweat and tears to fight this demon menace and that not once have you complained or shied from your duties as an enlisted man."

Kagome cut her gaze sideways to Hojo, who was staring up at the shogun's back with his lips pressed together so hard they were starkly white in color.

"And so I face a difficult decision, both as a shogun who must uphold the law, and as a man who admires such fierce loyalty to the cause." At this, he craned his neck around to give Kagome a wry smile. His dark blue eyes, shining with unspoken mirth, sent her stomach into flips, and she was unsure whether to cry in fright or screw her face up in fury and scream frustrated epithets. But instead, she chose to pause, and think about the face of her grandfather.

"Wh-Whatever your decision is, my lord Shogun," Kagome said, furrowing her brow and snapping down hard on the flesh of her cheek to keep her voice steady, "As a subject of the shogunate, I accept it wholeheartedly." She leaned forward, wholly prostrated at the feet of her leader, forehead pressed hard enough into her hands to actually hurt. She closed her mouth and swallowed, and her mouth tasted the blood from the inside of her cheek. A sickly, metallic taste washing over her tongue and down her throat.

"You understand," the shogun said, "that there are reasons these laws are in place. And that to reward you for defying these laws would be tantamount to suggesting that my own place among the people is naught."

Kagome closed her eyes again. The taste of her own blood in her mouth was like iron, but she wasn't about to show discomfort or weakness. Not now. Not here.

"The penalty for a woman acting as a man and enlisting in my army is the same as it always has been - death."

The swallow Kagome gave was a difficult one, but she kept her teeth gritted and didn't give any indication of her fear and trepidation.

Next to her, she could almost hear Hojo audibly deflate, just collapse onto himself. Kagome remained still.

The shogun adjusted the placement of a flower stem and gave a quiet sigh. "Now what am I to do," he said softly, "about the countless people who've testified to me about your devotion to the cause, and your care for them?"

There was a long silence before Kagome realized it was a real question and not a rhetorical one. "I - I couldn't say, my lord Shogun."

He laughed there. A quiet, soft laugh that left everyone else in the room waited with bated breath.

"Nor could I, to be honest," he said, turning again and placing a willowy hand on Kagome's shoulder. "So I suppose I should just appease them and let you live, right?"

Once again, Kagome had no words to answer him with.

At her reticence, the shogun seemed even more amused. "Sweet child," he said, letting his hand trail from her shoulder to under her chin once more, "They've all been beating at my door, so to speak, ever since the caravan arrived. They are adamant. Adamant that you served more of a role in the last battle caring for them and getting them to safety than any of the other officers or enlisted men did."

Kagome remained motionless. _I could have perhaps saved more,_ she thought furiously, _if I hadn't been - distracted by -_

She felt the gentle caress of a finger upon her jawbone. The shogun looked down at her, and his face was nothing if not admiring. "A girl from a noble family," he said softly, "Pampered her entire life. And yet on a whim she's able to join the army and fool everyone she's in contact with and then, above all things, _distinguish_ herself as a fighter."

He once again released his hold on her chin, and Kagome just sat there and waited. She couldn't think of anything else to do in the moment.

"To me," the shogun said, "this is serious cause for me to speak to my generals. What sort of level are we operating at if a _woman_ can become top of her training class within a matter of months, without anyone noticing?"

And then he laughed. And Hojo laughed, seemingly eager for any sort of reason to relax. Kagome _wanted_ to laugh, because why not. If she was going to die anyway, why not laugh at anything and everything? But something kept her from moving, from betraying the slightest hint of complacency.

Still chuckling to himself, the shogun turned away again. "Lord Hojo, you have my leave to go. And take your blushing bride with you."

Hojo looked like a child who'd just been unexpectedly given a sweet. "M-My lord?"

"I need time to think on this. Normally the issue would be an easy one to solve," and here the shogun gave an incline of his head in Kagome's direction, "but Lady Kagome seems to have sway over the population and a charm all her own, and so one must tread carefully. I will call upon you both in the morning." He turned away again, and Kagome could just see the faint outlines of a smile on his face, though the profile of his gaze looked faraway and deep in thought. "I suppose it's morning already, isn't it? Nevertheless, go. Eat, rest and enjoy each other's company, and you'll be summoned in front of formal court this evening. I suggest you look and sound your very best, Lady Kagome; it will be your chance to defend yourself in front of the courtiers, and I must say, they can be quite the bloodthirsty vultures when the mood strikes them."

Kagome couldn't help herself and she opened her mouth to ask why, why he couldn't just tell her her fate now one way or another and just _be done with it,_ but then Hojo's hand found hers and squeezed tightly and she felt the questions and the retorts die in her throat. And it was as a lady of breeding she kept her mouth shut, bowed deeply, and left the courtyard with Hojo once more leading the way.

* * *

"Where is he?" Kouga demanded as he burst into Sesshomaru's private chambers. He'd of course run into the little sycophant known as Jaken in the hallway outside, screeching at him to leave immediately before Jaken had him thrown out. Kouga had resoundingly kicked him aside with one knee, briefly remembering how he and Inuyasha had so enjoyed getting their own small revenges on the imp when they were boys. Jaken had always been a right bastard to them, Inuyasha especially.

The prince sat facing away in his chair, robes draped around him and touching the floor. He didn't turn around at the clattering sounds as Kouga roughly shoved the door shut behind himself, just sat there, face turned toward the open window and the brilliant stars adorning the night sky.

"I must say," Sesshomaru said finally, his voice low and calm as ever, "Your presence indoors seems to be wreaking havoc on this ancient castle. Apparently you're not capable of treating any object with any sort of care. I should start tallying up all that you've broken or damaged and send your tribe the bill."

Kouga folded his arms across his chest and scoffed, fighting the urge to retort and instead getting to the business at hand. "Never mind all that," he grumbled, "Naraku's returned, hasn't he?"

"I should think that was obvious by the presence of the Band of Seven in the castle once more," Sesshomaru said, flexing a clawed hand that hung fairly limply at his side. He still hadn't turned around to even acknowledge Kouga's presence in the room. This guy was infuriating. Always had been, for as long as Kouga could remember. "Or, I suppose it's the Band of Six now. Not nearly as interesting to say, is it?"

"So if Naraku's back," Kouga barrelled onward, refusing to be riled up even though it was the prince's favorite thing to do to anyone at any time, "That means Inuyasha's back too, isn't he?"

At this, he could see Sesshomaru's expression, already cold and unsmiling, seemingly tighten even further by way of reply.

"Good," Kouga growled, hands clenching into fists at his sides, "I want a word with him. And possibly to kick his ass again."

"Is this about what he did to your little she-wolf?"

Kouga narrowed his eyes and scowled. "What do _you_ think?" Ayame was of course nearly healed by now, at least physically, but she was still having nightmares, still acting like she couldn't hear him when he tried to wake her. Which of course meant she was traumatized, but by Inuyasha's devastating attack on her or by some sort of mental illness, Kouga still wasn't sure. And he hated being unsure. He hated that he seemingly couldn't help her by punching or kicking something, or by telling her it was all going to be alright. It had always worked with Ayame before, and now it didn't, and it was infuriating.

"I think you should take care how you speak, and remember your place, Kouga of the Wolf Tribe."

The urge to say something akin to "Fuck off" was overwhelming, but Kouga held his tongue and sighed. "My apologies, Your Highness. It's been a hell of a few days."

"Well, as thrilled as I am about the prospect of your beating my foolish little brother into the next life," Sesshomaru said, still not turning to face him as he took a delicate sip of whatever was in the goblet he held in his right hand, "We won't be needing your help for that, Kouga. He's being punished."

There was a minute change in the prince's expression again. Kouga had learned long ago to look for these cues, because Sesshomaru was possibly the least outwardly expressive being ever born. And now, the slight crease between Sesshomaru's brows displayed anger, yes, but also…

"Wait," Kouga said, mouth hanging open in disbelief, "You turned him over to _Naraku_ , didn't you?"

No answer. And suddenly Kouga felt outraged on behalf of the person he'd up until a few seconds ago wanted to beat nearly to death himself.

"So you were full of shit when you said you didn't think he was completely gone," Kouga said, gritting his teeth as he glared at the floor at his feet, "You turned your own brother over to that - that - "

"I will _not,_ " and suddenly Sesshomaru had shot to his feet and was hissing the words straight to Kouga's face, "have my actions questioned by the likes of you. Inuyasha has betrayed us all, and thus must face consequences."

Kouga would be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little intimidated right now. But he was a wolf youkai, and even to their own detriment at times, wolf youkai didn't back down, not even in the most dire of circumstances.

"How long are you going to keep him there?"

"Until I decide otherwise," Sesshomaru said, his golden eyes narrowed dangerously, "Any other questions, Kouga?"

Kouga returned the glare, but took a few steps back. "No," he said, "Your Highness."

"Good. Now get out. And if you ever come in here before announcing yourself again, you'll join my traitorous brother in the dungeon, understood?"

Kouga turned on his heel and all but stomped out of the room, heading back down the hallway at full speed and pointedly ignoring the squeak of outrage Jaken was sending in his direction as he passed. A few twists and turns later, and he was back at the room he'd put Ayame in, the room where he'd been sitting sleeplessly next to her bedside for the last few nights, waiting for some miracle that might make her the old Ayame again.

" _Why are you crying, kid?" Kouga, about thirteen, dropped to a thudding crouch in front of the lonesome, tiny girl with red pigtails, who had been sobbing quietly into her hands and sitting beneath the great oak tree in whose branches he'd been lounging the day away. "You hiding from the elders, too?" He shot her a grin. "They keep trying to wrangle all of us kids into learning all the 'great traditions,' all the 'important ceremonies' so we can 'make our families and ancestors proud.' It's all a bunch of shit; if they really wanted us to grow into adults they'd let us hunt already, right?"_

 _The girl sniffled once and looked up, cheeks flushed from the tears. She was about seven or eight, all elbows and skinned knees, and seemed to instinctively shrink away at his discerning gaze. Without a word of reply, she reached up with trembling hands and drew the long, tawny-colored cloak she was wearing closer around her chin, seemingly trying to hide in all the fur at the collar. Now all he could see were brilliant green eyes peeking at him apprehensively under a fringe of hair the color of sunset._

" _Seriously," Kouga said, suddenly feeling a little awkward at the one-sided conversation, "You really don't need to cry. You gotta be a tough warrior someday, right? So if someone or something tries to make you cry, just kick its ass."_

 _The little girl still didn't say anything, but the expression in those green eyes had gone from melancholy to a cautious look of confusion. Kouga was used to getting looks like those, of course, but not so soon after meeting someone, and he gave a quiet sigh and ran a hand through his hair with a smirk._

" _So what happened? Some of these other kids tie your hair to a tree branch? That happened to my friend last week, and he was_ so _angry - " Kouga of course was going to leave out the revelation that_ he _had been that particular culprit, and that it had been extremely entertaining to watch poor Hakkaku squirm and try to work out the complicated knots Kouga and Ginta had tied, but the small redheaded girl finally spoke._

" _Nothing like that," she said, her voice muffled behind the fur cloak._

" _Oh, that's good," Kouga said, letting himself fall back into a cross-legged sitting position, knowing he was still probably smirking at the remembrance of his successful prank, "Because my friend had to cut all his hair off and now he looks like an idiot, and you're a girl so it would be even worse - "_

And she's crying again. Way to go, Kouga.

" _Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he cried, leaning forward, hands up in surrender, panicking, "I'm not saying it's gonna happen to you! I'll make sure it doesn't!"_

 _There was a silence only punctuated by the girl's choking sobs, and Kouga, normally the most confident one in the room no matter how ill-placed that confidence was, immediately wanted to shrink into a speck of dust and float away._ Kouga, you idiot. Always speaking before you think. _There, now_ he _was quoting the elders. Hell had frozen over._

 _Before he could say anything else, there was a barking voice that sounded exactly like the one he'd just quoted in his own head and he was being hoisted up by the collar of his vest, held aloft a foot above the ground._

" _Lord Kouga!" An aging wolf youkai with bright silver hair (Ginta's grandfather or great-uncle or one of those old-man relations) held him fast, glaring into his eyes. "You were expected half an hour ago at the mourning ceremony. Someone of your rank and birth skipping out on such an important event - "_

" _Aw, bite me," Kouga growled, kicking at the old man's shins and struggling to free himself, "I told you I don't give a shit about - "_

 _He couldn't finish the sentence, because he'd been overhand-thrown straight into the dirt, where he landed on his face with a thud that rang his ears. "I swear, old man," Kouga growled, spitting out clods of dried mud, "the second I take over this place, I'm gonna - "_

" _You'll do absolutely nothing, whelp," the old man hissed, placing his hand on his hips and prodding Kouga very roughly and pointedly with one foot, "Not until you grow up a little and get your head out of your ass."_

 _Kouga gave another growl, and then glanced at the redheaded girl. Her mouth and most of her face were still shielded by the fur cloak, but she'd stopped crying and was staring at the scene before her, seemingly too surprised to remember her sadness for the moment._

" _He loves me," Kouga said to her with a smirk, "He just doesn't know how to express it -_ OW!" _The old man's foot landed behind his head and smashed it into the ground once again. "That hurts, you asshole!" he said, feeling the grit of dirt all over his teeth and tongue and spluttering._

" _Good," the elder said, "Now you're going to the mourning ceremony and saying the words you're supposed to say to your people, and you're going to leave Ayame alone." He turned to the little girl and gave her an apologetic smile as he roughly hauled Kouga back to his feet. "My apologies, little miss. Lord Kouga will be a great leader someday if he learns the proper way to behave."_

 _The girl said nothing, just blinked at the spectacle before her, her hands still drawing the cloak tightly around her face._

" _I'm going, I'm going!" Kouga growled, trying to shove out of the ironclad grip that held him by the arms._ Inuyasha's lucky, _he thought bitterly,_ he's not the heir to anything. They steer clear and don't expect anything out of him. _It sounded blissful to Kouga, half-blood or not._

 _Before the old man could muscle him much further, he craned his head over his shoulder for a glance backward. The little girl with the red pigtails was still staring after them, looking utterly bewildered. But at least she wasn't crying anymore, right?_

 _He couldn't help himself and so he called back to her. "Later, kid," he said with another smirk, and received a rap on the back of the skull for his troubles. "Ow! What was_ that _for, you diseased, mangy old - "_

 _The elder man's strong grip forced his head back around so he was looking straight ahead as they continued their awkward half-walk, half-stumble back toward the cave formations. "Don't bother her. She's been through more than you can imagine. Let her mourn her lost family in her own way."_

Oh, shit. _Kouga once again felt quite embarrassed at his previous demeanor. "She's - she's the lone survivor you guys were talking about," he said, grimacing but not from the forceful hands at his shoulders. "So her - her whole family - "_

" _Yep," the old man grumbled, "So the last thing the poor child wants to do right now is talk to an ungrateful brat of a kid who can't even bother to show respect for the clan she's lost, wouldn't you say?"_

" _I'll walk on my own, Gramps. I promise." Kouga shrugged out of the elder's grasp, and was surprised when the old man actually let him go. They continued the last few steps of their trek back to the cavernous homesteads, the ones they'd salvaged as the only shelter they had left in the wild. The ones best hidden from the human scourge._

" _I'm not your Gramps."_

" _I know." Another beat of silence. "I should have read the mood a little better, huh," Kouga said, scratching absently at his left forearm, giving a humorless smile. Trying to cheer the kid up had probably just made her feel worse. And not to mention the fact that Kouga had made it plain, right in front of her, that he couldn't be arsed to even show up to a ceremony where they would commune the murdered spirits of her clan to final rest in the eternal hunting grounds._

 _The old man seemed to see the regretful expression on Kouga's face, because the next thing he said were words that Kouga would actually, finally take to heart, words he would remember for the rest of time, words he recalled as clear as day even long after their speaker had passed on._

" _Don't worry, kid. You'll learn."_

And he had. Slowly but surely, he had stopped lashing out, had stopped resisting any possible good advice, and had learned to be a leader, to put others before himself. And he could trace his rude awakening back to the moment he'd first laid eyes on that tiny girl swallowed by a fur cloak with the greenest eyes he'd ever seen. The girl who'd slowly become his little shadow over the next few months after that, who'd eventually learned to smile again, and then, to laugh.

To his surprise, she was awake when he entered, laying there on her side and staring absently at her hands, which were curled up together next to her face.

"Hey," he said, hesitantly, quietly, unsure of what her reaction to seeing his presence might be. She'd been so unpredictable, so back-and-forth lately. And he couldn't help feeling that a lot of it was his own fault. He'd taken her for granted, he'd reacted with annoyance and dismissal to her utter devotion to him in the past. So was it any surprise that she'd finally had enough and realized he wasn't worth it at all?

" _Lord Kouga!" Ayame, around thirteen or so, leapt_ completely over _the gathered crowd at the cave entrance and collided with him heavily, throwing her arms around his waist and nearly taking the wind out of him. "How was your journey? Did you fight anything? Was there danger? Were you happy to see your friend?"_

 _Kouga took in all the smirking faces of the rest of the tribe. Ginta and Hakkaku in particular were looking quite gleeful at the public display of unfiltered affection sent his way. Thank the gods Inuyasha wasn't here, because it would have been even_ worse.

" _That's too many questions," he replied, biting the inside of his cheek as Ayame attempted to cling to him even as he took a few steps backward._

 _At that he would have expected her to get the hint, but perhaps he'd rubbed off on her too much, because she didn't seem to give a damn about the staring eyes. She simply nodded and laughed and hugged him tighter. "I missed you so much," she said, her eyes shining with happy tears. He'd just stood there scowling like a fool as titters rang through the crowd._

" _Yeah, yeah," he said finally, shrugging out of her grasp. "Don't you have other things to do?"_

" _You're right!" This girl was too much. Any attempt to talk her down, to put her in her place, and she'd just turn it right back around on him. "I was going to get you something really delicious for the feast tonight but I didn't know you'd be here so soon. I'll be back in a little while! I still want to hear all about your visit to the castle!"_

 _She bounded past him and toward the sunset peeking through the rock faces, dipping briefly into a limber crouch and then leaping with marked skill into the treetops. And then she was gone._

 _The smirks were too much, and Kouga immediately for the sake of his audience rolled his eyes and acted relieved. "Serves me right," he said with a humorless chuckle, "I get saddled with the one female who can't seem to take a gentle hint."_

The stab of guilt was almost too much, and he ran a hand through his ponytailed hair, standing there awkwardly and waiting for her to tell him to get out and leave her alone.

But when she saw him, she slowly sat up, her large eyes glowing in the lamplight, all sincerity and openness. Just like the Ayame he'd known. "Lord Kouga," she said softly, her eyes still heavy-lidded from slumber.

And then she actually smiled at him, and he felt insane at how surprised it made him.

He could just see the few touches of bruising remaining at her temples and her cheekbones, but that was all the evidence that remained of her life-threatening encounter with the man that Kouga had been fool enough to call his best friend once upon a time. It made him angry nevertheless.

 _I once swore I'd never let anything happen to you. And look what good I was._

"Are you - " he started to say, and then fell silent. He felt the flush of heat rise to his face, and that made him even more frustrated.

When he looked back to her face, her eyes were filling with sparkling tears. "Whoa, wait a second - "

"Lord Kouga," she said, her voice cracking with emotion as she whispered, "I'm so sorry. So sorry…for what I've done…"

"Stop," he said, and crossed the room in two strides to sit beside her on the bedroll and throw his arms clumsily around her thin shoulders, "Enough of that shit. You don't need to apologize to anyone, least of all me."

The fact that she actually leaned into the embrace, that she looped her arms up over his shoulders and clung to him tightly, filled him with a strange elation that was utterly out of place in such a somber and raw moment. _I really am a piece of shit sometimes,_ he thought bitterly as she gave a few quiet sobs into his collarbone. But she finally wasn't growling and pushing him away, and that was such a source of relief that it almost knocked him backward.

"This might be a lot to ask," she said, her voice muffled, and he felt her tense up a little in anticipation of his refusal of whatever she was about to say.

"No it isn't," he said insistently, "What do you need, Ayame? What can I do?"

She pulled back slightly, her long red hair falling over her shoulders and down her back. Those beautiful eyes of hers blinked hesitantly up at him, emerald green and brilliant.

"I need to try," she said softly, and there was a twinge of fear in her eyes and a slight falter to her voice. "I just need to try."

Before he could ask her what the hell she was on about, she took a deep breath in and out, gently screwed her eyes shut, and leaned up to press her lips gingerly to his own.

Kouga sat there frozen, too taken aback to move an inch, but it seemed like she had expected this and was willing to do all the work here herself. She snaked her hands out from around him and slid them up to the sides of his face, her clawed fingers delicately tracing up the back of his neck and making him shiver.

" _Lord Kouga, I love you."_

" _Yeah, yeah, so you've told me…"_

* * *

Ayame was so frightened. So worried about what this action might elicit in her own head. Terrified of the consequences.

But here Kouga was, looking so confused and wanting so much to understand, trying to make her feel better as he always had. And the notion had come to her almost as easily as breathing.

 _I treated you so horribly,_ she thought, running her thumbs over the sides of his cheeks and feeling tears pricking at her eyes, _I couldn't fight it and I hurt you and everyone else. But it was_ him, _Kouga. He's still here. And I want him_ out.

She threw herself harder into the kiss, praying that Kouga wouldn't do the Kouga thing and pull away, asking her what was wrong with her and what the hell she was doing.

It was as she gently nipped at Kouga's lower lip that she heard it. She wasn't surprised to hear it, but it still made her heart clench in fear.

 _You're a resourceful little one, aren't you, my darling?_

 _Ignore him,_ she told herself as she pressed herself closer into Kouga's body, _just ignore him and think how much you love the man in front of you Kouga I love you so much I know you don't want me don't love me but please just let me love you now just now and maybe I can drive him out -_

Ayame made a conscious decision to let all the hesitation, all the doubt fade out of her mind. Just to concentrate on how much she loved Kouga and to perhaps pretend that he loved her back and everything was right with the world. If anyone could drive Naraku out of her brain, it was Kouga. Because she was pretty damn sure that when he put his mind to it, Kouga could do anything.

 _You precious thing,_ the voice said again, smooth as silk, _do you think he'll ever choose you? Do you expect him to take you into his bed, to make you feel the way_ I _made you feel -_

 _It wasn't real,_ she retorted, _You're a liar, you're in my head and I want you_ OUT.

 _Oh, my darling girl, I admire this resolve even if it is misguided. Perhaps a reminder of our brief times together would help mend this rift between us. I can't stand to see you unhappy, my beloved._

Ayame felt her body growing hotter, her breath growing shorter. She could feel hands gently palming her breasts though she knew if she looked there would be nothing there. She felt the hot, wet touch of a phantom tongue to her collarbone and fought back a terrified gasp.

She was faltering. This wasn't going to work. She had been a fool for thinking it would.

And why would she want Lord Naraku out of her head anyway? He was the only one who'd ever truly understood her, wasn't he? No, she wouldn't expel him from her mind. There was no reason to. Not when she had a chance to achieve greatness at his side, to scream in pleasure at his touch. What on earth had she ever wanted with this foolish _boy_ in front of her, anyway, when she had someone who truly loved her and would always take care of her…

* * *

Kouga remained utterly still, still blinking wildly in shock even as Ayame was kissing the utter daylights out of him. Here she sat, once a skinny undersized little slip of a thing that had haunted his steps like a little shadow from almost their first meeting, a lovestruck kid who'd embarrassed him in front of his tribe on more than one occasion with her cheery acceptance of whatever he said no matter how dismissive.

And now?

Kouga wasn't much for poetic words or turns of phrase, so all that was going through his head was the ferocious pull of lust, of desire, of wanting this woman - not this kid, he didn't think he'd _ever_ be able to think of her as a kid again - to belong to him and only him. To claim her.

But before he could even begin to puzzle through these thoughts, the kiss ended and Ayame pulled away.

The expression on her face was the one she'd been giving him for days on end - anger, dismissal, rejection.

 _No. Not again. Ayame, not again. Please._

* * *

She lowered her arms from around his neck and made to turn away without a word.

 _I'm sorry, my lord. You were right. I was just being silly. Please forgive me._

 _Of course, my darling girl. You're feeling very lost and alone right now. It's to be expected. But I promise you, I will -_

"Ayame," Kouga's voice crashed through the one in her head, and she closed her eyes and tried to stand up and leave him sitting there. But his hand caught her wrist and tugged her backward, and suddenly she was on top of Kouga again, all but straddling him on the bed.

"Please," he said softly, and the expression in his eyes was so uncharacteristically gentle.

 _Why is he saying that he's never begged me for anything what does he want he only just barely learned that polite ways to address people exist -_

He slid his arms tentatively up the sides of her hips, trailing his touch up to the sides of her face, and pulled her down to him.

Kissing her back.

 _He doesn't want you, he only pities you._

The kiss was demanding and intense and wild, and even when she resisted, held her body rigid, she was unable to pull away like she had before. And she felt her spine starting to relax and she felt herself lower down further to keep herself as flush with him as possible. Kissing Kouga was just as she'd imagined it would be.

She'd imagined countless times. She'd hoped for it. Prayed for it. Because she loved Kouga. And only Kouga. Forever.

"Kouga," she whimpered into his mouth, forcing herself to say the word out loud, to focus herself, to center on him and only him once more. There was a dangerous hammering behind her forehead, a warning, but she just kept repeating the name in her head over and over, a mantra to tune out the foreboding anger that was seeping seemingly out of nowhere and coursing through her veins and making everything hurt.

Kouga grunted in reply and brought a hand to the back of her head, turning it slightly to give him better access to her mouth, and she felt his tongue caress hers and gave a small, meek moan as he flipped them around with a single deft motion and laid her back on the bedroll.

"Ayame," he murmured into her cheek as they broke for a few deep, heaving breaths, "Ayame, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. I never should have - "

"Stop," she said, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him back into another kiss. _Not yet. Not yet. Please, Kouga. Don't overthink it yet. Don't regret it yet. Right now you have to love me, so just_ love me _._

Her arms looped around his neck again and she arched up into him, hearing his groan of satisfaction and realizing that she, Ayame, had done that, _she_ was the one giving him this reaction.

She could do this. With Kouga's help she could do anything she put her mind to. She'd known that from the first time she'd ever met him.

 _GET OUT OF MY HEAD._

And the voice that replied was no longer soothing, no longer something she longed to hear, but harsh and sharp as steel. Every word clanged around in her skull like a blacksmith's hammer, and she winced even as she drew Kouga closer down to her, so tightly that she heard his breath catch for the briefest moment.

 _I love you I love you I love you I will never ask you for anything again Kouga I won't bother you I won't annoy you just PLEASE HELP ME and let me show you how much I love you always you always you since we were kids always you -_

 _You little ungrateful bitch do you understand what you're trying to do_

 _Kouga I love you please just once love me and I'll be happy I'll live the rest of my life on this moment -_

 _What would he say if he knew how much I made you scream do you think he'd look at you the same way_

 _Kouga yes please tell me you love me if not with words just kiss me and make it go away -_

 _You think he can protect you no one can protect you from me you're DEAD you're DEAD do you HEAR ME you little SLUT when the time comes you'll be the first to die_

 _I SAID GET OUT OF MY HEAD!_

And then there was a horrible dizzying sensation, like she'd just been dropped from a great height and had landed safely on the bedroll, with Kouga's arms braced around her like shelter, the sweetest shelter.

Ayame broke the kiss and propped herself up on her elbows, taking several heaving breaths, her eyes closed. She poked around. She provoked. She _made certain._

When she had the courage and self-assurance to reopen her eyes, they met Kouga's own ice-blue gaze, and he was staring at her, looking half-mystified and half-entranced.

* * *

"Kagome!" Sango rushed forward the moment they crossed the threshold. She'd been pacing back and forth in the hallway, as close to the courtyard door as the guards would allow her to be, and it was with a sidelong glare at their stern faces that she caught her friend by the hands and held her tightly. "So what happened?"

Hojo had firm hold of Kagome's arm, and he seemed very reluctant to release her at all. "The shogun," he said softly, "wants a few hours more to consider Kagome's fate. There are many factors at play here, and he must take his time to make a decision." Spoken like a true nobleman. Parroting the man's words with great reverence and not a moment of questioning, even if he didn't see a favorable outcome. Hojo was truly growing into his gods-given position, wasn't he?

Sango frowned, crossing her arms tightly. "So he's going to make her wait around while he decides whether or not she lives or dies?"

Hojo winced at the statement, and motioned to Sango to keep her insolent tone quieter as he too glanced at the sentries stationed at the door. "I'm sure there are better locations to discuss this," he said, taking Kagome by the shoulders and attempting to usher her down the hallway.

"I'd rather just get a few hours of rest right now," Kagome said, gently ducking out of Hojo's grasp and giving them both a smile that she clearly meant to be reassuring. "I mean, we've been traveling for days, and I just - well, I have to make a good impression later, and I don't know if I can do that if I fall asleep in the middle of the throne room, right?"

"Right," Sango said quickly, before Hojo could have any time to answer, "Come on, Kagome. Let's get you to bed. Don't worry, Lord Hojo, I'll keep an eye on her."

When they were out of his sight and within the safety of the luxurious apartments Kagome had been assigned to, Kagome wordlessly gave Sango's hand a squeeze and unceremoniously collapsed onto the bed, still fully decked out in court dress with her hair ornately styled. Sango gave a small smile and wordlessly sat on the bed next to her.

"Thanks for that," Kagome mumbled into her pillow.

Sango just nodded. "Nice outfit, by the way. Weird to see you actually dressed as a girl. Miroku's jaw just about fell to the floor when we watched you pass by. He said it was a shame he had all these important officer duties to attend to, or he'd have tried to escort you around the palace himself." She grinned, shaking her head.

That got her a quiet chuckle, and Kagome turned onto her side to face Sango. "Well, you know _that's_ not true," she said softly, "Not when he's head-over-heels for someone else we know, right?"

Sango felt herself blush. "That's - that's not - " But Kagome raised her eyebrow and Sango found she couldn't bother to deny or confirm anything, and they both dissolved into quiet laughter.

After the giggles had subsided, there was a moment of silence as they just looked at each other, and then with a small smile, Kagome whispered, "If the shogun's verdict isn't what we hope it is - "

"Stop it," Sango said firmly, shaking her head, "Don't think like that. If you think like that, they'll all sense it, and then we've lost."

Kagome sighed. "You're right. Gotta stay positive. Gotta play the game." She gave a joking thump to the top of her own head as if to scold herself, and then the expression on her face changed again as she stared at her open palm, her mind clearly now a million miles away.

They said nothing further, and within a few minutes Kagome had closed her eyes and drifted off, and Sango resolved to let her rest, even if for an all-too-brief time. To have gone through so much betrayal and death and suffering only to be facing the prospect of oblivion at the end of it all…it was overwhelming.

Silently, Sango laid down and curled up facing her sleeping friend. "Whatever happens," she whispered, "We're with you, Kagome."

As the minutes turned into one hour, then two, Kagome never stirred.

Not even at the shrill noise that made Sango perk up like a cat, scanning the room and listening intently. It was coming from somewhere within the shogun's castle, and it sounded only once and then the silence returned. There was no commotion outside, no indication that anything was out of sorts, and so Sango hesitantly returned to her position of recline.

 _Maybe I'm losing it,_ she thought, reaching out to gently adjust the blanket she'd pulled over Kagome's sleeping form, _I'm hearing screams in my own head._

* * *

"Ayame," Kouga mumbled breathlessly, stumbling over the words and feeling very unsure of himself indeed as she lay there beneath him, looking dizzy and preoccupied and very out of sorts. "I just - are you - "

She looked up at him, and the smile she gave him was tearful and beautiful and _gods almighty what a complete idiot I've been -_

"Where's Prince Inuyasha?" she asked, sitting up with a start and nearly headbutting him in the goddamn face.

"…what."

Ayame wriggled out from underneath him (not an unpleasant sensation, honestly) and laid a hand on his shoulder. Was she utterly insane or had all that kissing actually affected her _that little?_ Kouga fought back a petulant grumble at the thought, feeling his face flush a bit red.

"Lord Kouga," she said reassuringly, the smile still plastered on her face, wide and genuine, "It's alright. I'll be alright now. But I need to see him. Immediately. It won't be safe much longer."

And so it was with a very bewildered and sulky expression that Kouga led her through the labyrinthine walls of the castle, keeping to cover of darkness on their way to the dungeon.

* * *

 _ **Sorry for the wait, my lovelies! The holiday season came and went and I had both a hectic work schedule AND family obligations to contend with. But HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU! Hope the extra length makes up for my leaving y'all hanging a bit. WOOP WOOP LONGEST CHAPTER YET THAT'S WHASSUP**_

 _ **So yes, the two unattributed themes were Kouga/Ayame centered, but I couldn't very well have announced that in the beginning without spoiling it! Hahaha. So now they're gonna try to sneak in to see Inuyasha. Poor baby, I hope he was okay this chapter. Probably not, but we'll see next time. :/**_

 _ **The shogun is a very interesting fellow to write. Powerful types always are. Any theories on what's gonna happen next chapter when Kagome gets fed to the wolves? (And these wolves are of course figurative; there are only so many times I can throw ACTUAL wolves at her before it gets sort of old hat, right? Hahaha)**_

 _ **Inuyasha and Miroku just hanging out in Not-Appearing-In-This-Chapter land...sorry boys! Next time, I swear!**_

 _ **See you guys soon! And I do mean soon; I finally have a writing day tomorrow and I'm getting up EARLY and mainlining coffee.**_

 _ **As always please review if you can! It does a body good. - meggz0rz**_


	24. Refusals

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twenty-Four**

 **REFUSALS**

* * *

 _ **THEMES:**_

 _ **"Coming Undone" by Korn (darkness falls across the land...mwahahahaha)**_

 _ **"The Descent" by Bastille (from the new 'Other People's Heartache' EP. THIS IS STRAIGHT FIRE, Y'ALL. And it's ultimate jaded/betrayed InuKag)**_

 _ **"Nothing Breaks Like a Heart" by Mark Ronson feat. Miley Cyrus (apparently this song came out a few months ago and I just now heard it? Way 2 go Meg u so current. Hello fellow kids. Anyways, this song conveys sheer hopelessness, and that's pretty much this entire chapter NOW ENJOY THE HEARTBREAK YOU LOVELY PEOPLE)**_

* * *

A knock sounded on the bedroom doorframe, and Sango's eyes flashed open and she sat bolt upright with the silent speed her years of training had afforded her.

She glanced to her right, and Kagome lay there, still unmoving, breathing deeply and evenly in that resplendent outfit. Her hair ornaments had fallen askew and were surely uncomfortable, but Kagome gave no inclination that she minded, or even noticed. _Poor thing hasn't really slept at all since…everything happened._ She had clearly reached her limit and her body was demanding its rest once and for all.

Lightly as a feather, Sango hopped into a standing position and tiptoed in her bare feet to the door, sliding it open a crack to peer into the hallway outside.

"Sango." Miroku was pleased to see her there, if the fond smile on his face was any indication.

Sango put a finger to her lips and slid through the open doorway, closing the door behind her. "Did you get settled in yet, _Captain?_ " She spoke the new rank aloud and forced a smile on her face, one that she didn't really feel. Something about seeing him standing there, dressed as a shogun's loyal warrior, was unsettling. It irritated her.

Miroku grimaced slightly at the title, as if it were a new article of clothing that hadn't quite been stretched to comfortable proportions yet. "The troops are all squared away," he said by way of an answer, running a hand through his hair. "What's left of them, anyway. I've been summoned to a war council meeting in the shogun's private quarters, but I thought I'd stop by first to check on Kagome."

"Still sleeping," Sango muttered softly, folding her arms and leaning against the wall. "She needs it if she's going to be required to beg for her life for everyone's amusement." She knew the expression on her face was bitter and unsettled, and Miroku was looking left and right to make sure none of the sentries or servants or other passersby had caught the sarcasm in her statement. _Let them hear,_ she thought defiantly. _Let them actually hear someone express their true opinion around here and not just kiss the robes of a man who holds all of our lives in an iron grip and clearly delights in it. Let them hear someone not quivering with fear at the mere mention of him._ The hard look on her face tightened further into a full-on glare.

"Sango," Miroku said, stepping closer to keep his voice as low as possible, "I know you're not used to all this - this ceremony, this deference. But you have to remember, we're not in your village anymore."

"You think I don't _know_ that?" Sango gave a harsh chuckle under her breath and shook her head, drawing her arms tighter about herself and avoiding his gaze, focusing instead on the brand-new armor tied across Miroku's chest. Armor that was heavy and ornate and bore the shogun's seal, right in the dead center of the breastplate. "You think I'm not _reminded_ of that fact every waking moment? When I'm forced into a dress because my attire wasn't _feminine_ enough for the royal court? When I'm not even allowed to speak in public defense of my friend who's about to be sentenced to _death,_ because women aren't even _allowed_ in the throne room without permission _-_ "

"Sango," Miroku laid a hand on her shoulder, and she fell into a sullen silence. "Please. I know how you feel, but you have to understand, we're going to have to toe the line for a while yet. Like it or not, the shogun didn't get to where he is by being a fool."

"No," Sango agreed, finally looking straight up to meet his eyes again, her brow furrowed in a defiant glare. "That much we agree on. He already knows what he's going to do with Kagome; he just wants to declare it _publicly_."

He said nothing, just took a small breath in and out, his expression slightly pained. "I promise," he said finally, "I'm going to do what I can." It was the second solemn promise he'd ever made to her, and she knew by the look in his darkened eyes that he meant it. Even if she wasn't sure of anything, she could at least try to believe in him, right?

"I know you will," Sango said, letting herself sigh as she batted her bangs out of her face in quiet frustration, screwing her eyes shut and feeling guilty for speaking so harshly. He was just trying to help. That was all he'd ever done, from the moment they'd met. And he wasn't the type to give up in the face of insurmountable odds. That was something he and Kagome had in common, and Sango admired them for it, envied them for it, and even felt a little jealous and out-of-sorts that she seemed to be the one shouldering all the fear and pessimism.

She felt a light touch and opened her eyes, and with a small gasp she inhaled his scent as she realized that Miroku was pressing his forehead to hers. His eyes were closed, his long black lashes alight on his high cheekbones. He said nothing, just stood there, seemingly drawing something - strength, comfort, she wasn't certain - from the touch. The hand that still sat on her shoulder was massaging a small circle, working out the tension that she knew he felt beneath her skin.

For just a moment, she would let herself have this. This moment of closeness, of solidarity, of unspoken words that they knew would be wrong to declare right now. She let her eyes flutter closed again, placed an open hand on his armored chest. They inhaled and exhaled together, moving as one, virtually clinging to each other in a dreamlike state for just a moment before stark reality forced them apart again.

"I have to go," he murmured finally, and he was so close she felt the breath escaping his lips, and it was with a slight shiver she nodded. He stepped back and offered her that same comforting smile, the smile that had been her first greeting when she'd awoken on a sickbed with an injured arm and her whole world shattered to bits. "I'll be back as soon as I can." His tone was clear that he was unsure when that would be. "Tell Kagome it'll be alright. That's your job for now, right?"

Wordlessly, fighting back a lump in her throat, Sango nodded.

A single caress to her cheek and a playful tweak of her nose, and he had turned and headed back down the hallway, brand new armor hindering his movement slightly. At the questioning look of a stationed guard at the end of the walkway, he muttered a quick, "What are _you_ looking at," and then he was gone around the corner.

Sango folded her arms around herself once more, feeling a little unsteady on her feet. It was a sensation that she wasn't used to, but she wanted more of it.

 _I love you_. She sent the sentiment toward the sound of his retreating steps, and then she sent a rare prayer to the heavens for strength. For him. For her. For everyone.

* * *

"Yura, darling!" Naraku said, looking up from where he sat on his luxurious chair, smiling a bright and friendly smile that as always didn't reach his eyes.

It was quite the abrupt change; Naraku for the past several minutes had been in _such_ a foul temper. Kagura could account for that by the searing heat blistering her skin as she sat there taking her punishment. She'd almost wondered for a while there if he was going to just poison her and be done with it.

From her seat on the ground crouched next to him, Kagura chanced a quick glance up at the girl entering the room, but she didn't dare move her head or neck. Every time she did, it would burn, the large iron shackle chafing against her pale white skin.

"Look who's here," Naraku said to Yura, reaching out to caress the side of Kagura's cheek. Kagura bit her tongue and fought back the urge to jump away. If she did, she knew he'd just tighten the chains, make the iron touching her skin glow like poisonous fire, relish in her whimpers of pain.

Yura, who was stretching her arms over her head, was nude from the waist up, her breasts and arms and neck awash with drying blood. Like she'd painted herself in it. She seemed to take no notice or care of her own nudity, but then again, Kagura thought bitterly, none of Naraku's harem of females had ever shown hesitation to bare it all at any time. None except her. _But then again,_ she thought without a hint of humor, _I always_ was _the odd one out, wasn't I?_

"Where did _she_ come from?" Yura muttered, her red lips drawing into a childish pout as she looked over Kagura's prone and imprisoned form with unfiltered distaste. She'd always hated Kagura, and Kagura had always taken pains to assure Yura that the feeling was completely mutual.

"Well," Naraku said, trailing a long pointed nail down the shell of Kagura's ear, "Would _you_ like to tell her the story, Kagura? It certainly amused _me._ "

Kagura bit the inside of her cheek and fixed Yura with a defiant glare. Yura just smirked at her obvious discomfort.

"Go ahead, Kagura," Naraku said, prodding her with his foot and sending her crouched form teetering off balance for a moment. Bound from head to toe, there was no way for Kagura to catch herself if she fell, and Yura especially looked disappointed when Kagura recovered and didn't fall straight onto the stone floor and perhaps crack her skull or break her nose. "Tell her."

"…I was sent by Lord Naraku," Kagura said softly through clenched teeth, refusing to wince at the pain of the burning hot iron restraints, "to try to recruit the panther tribe to his cause."

"And you _failed,_ didn't you?" Naraku said softly, his fingers trailing through the hair at the back of her head.

She shivered, but kept her voice calm. "Touran had… _conditions_ …for joining. Conditions I wasn't sure we could meet."

"You know what that means, don't you, Yura my darling?" Naraku laughed, removing his hand from Kagura's head and leaning back in his seat casually. Yura's bloodthirsty grin grew wider and she gave a girlish giggle into the palm of her hand. Kagura sent her a ferocious glare, but that only seemed to satisfy her more.

"Touran wanted - " Kagura swallowed and continued, " - She wanted something that wasn't ours to give."

"Kagura, you little minx," Yura said knowingly, folding her blood-soaked arms over her bare chest and shaking her head as if laughing at the antics of a small child. "You didn't even _ask_ Lord Naraku about it, did you? You just _refused!_ "

"Because I _knew_ we couldn't - " Kagura's sharp retort was cut off as searing pain soared through her body where the chains connected with her skin, and she bit down on an earsplitting cry and shuddered, trying to collect herself again.

Naraku patted her gently on the back. "There, there, my dearest," he said soothingly, "I do hate having to see you like this. It pains me deeply. But when you act this way, you leave me no choice, do you?"

Kagura glared at her lap, feeling a bead of sweat trailing down her temple. It tickled terribly and she couldn't scratch at it and it was driving her to distraction. She was breaking again. Just as she'd resolved to never let him break her again, she was faltering. She was out of control. What else was new? It was all she'd known for so long.

At least, until…

"I must say, Yura," Naraku turned away, ignoring Kagura completely for the moment and giving the other girl a decidedly hungry smile, "Red is most _certainly_ your color. But then again, it always _has_ been, hasn't it?"

Yura gave a delighted laugh and did a quick spin for him. "Thank you, my lord! It's been a very entertaining day." She ran her hands up her stomach, trailing them over her bare breasts and stopping at her own shoulders, sighing with eyes closed as if she were reminiscing. "He's wearing down, little by little. He actually _wept_ today. Like a child." Her sharp white teeth gleamed in a delighted smile. "I think by tomorrow, I'll have him where we want him."

Naraku chuckled to himself. "Has he begged yet?"

Yura's pout returned. "Not yet. He's called me all sorts of _awful_ names, though." She gave a small huff, passively examining the backs of her dark-red hands.

"Who the hell are you torturing _now_ , Yura?" Kagura growled, wincing again as another brief pulse of agony zapped through her body.

Yura smirked. "Don't worry," she said, her voice all syrup and song, "It's the _younger brother_ I'm dealing with, Kagura dear."

Kagura snapped a shocked gaze up to Naraku. "So it's starting, is it?" she demanded, fighting back the anger brewing in her stomach, "You're already trying to take power for yourself."

Naraku raised an eyebrow. That look meant danger and Kagura knew it well, but she kept her gaze steady.

This explained everything. Why Naraku had sent her away on a mission that one of the others would have been better suited for. A mission that, given her past, Naraku had surely _known_ she wouldn't complete as desired.

Kagura could see it all clearly. She had become a complication to his plans in the last few months, and despite all her effort to hide it from him, Naraku had seen right through her. He'd set her up to fail. So he could punish her.

"Yura, darling," Naraku said, keeping his gaze fixed on Kagura, "Will you excuse us?"

Yura nodded brightly, and bounded up to kneel dramatically at Naraku's feet, kissing the hem of his robe and then rubbing the fabric against her cheek gently and lovingly. "Anything you wish, my lord," she said, her voice a seductive purr, and he smiled warmly in response and let his hand trail outward to caress her face once without a word. Kagura wanted to vomit.

"Oh, Kagura," Naraku said when Yura had gone, his voice going dangerously low, the menace clear in his dark eyes, "What have I done to make you treat me so? Did I not rescue you from human slaughter? Did I not raise you as my own child, shelter you and protect you and help you grow strong?"

 _Yes,_ she thought, recoiling away from his outstretched hand as much as she possibly could, _and you broke me and used me and took advantage of me every chance you could along the way, and someday I'll stand over your corpse and smile -_

His hand fisted into her hair and dragged her forward, and she steeled herself for whatever else was coming.

But before Naraku could inflict whatever-it-was upon her, the door burst open again, and it was with an expression of irritation that Naraku regarded Jakotsu, who had bounded inside, face drawn in alarm. "What is it?" Naraku said testily.

"My Lord," Jakotsu gave a quick bow, panting and out of breath, "The wolf-girl, Ayame. She's gone, and Lord Kouga with her. She's not in her room."

At that revelation, Kagura watched as Naraku's cool facade dropped for just a few moments and pure, animalistic rage showed through. His face contorted into a waxen imitation of its normal self, and she felt herself inhale shakily and try to make herself as small as possible. The tough showing, the defiance she'd been trying in vain to display, these would do her no favors if Naraku were _this_ angry.

 _Just close your eyes and ride it out, girl. That's how you've survived this long._

Easier said than done. She was fighting not to tremble.

And then Naraku spoke. His face still spoke of death and suffering and _blood,_ blood that reflected in his crimson eyes, wide and mad. But his voice was terrifyingly controlled. "I want her found," he hissed, "Kill Lord Kouga if you have to, we'll find an excuse, but I want that little bitch _found_ and I want her _drawn and quartered._ And if you return here before that little task is completed, it will be _you_ that I'll cut into pieces, Jakotsu. I don't want to have to do that; you've always been a favorite of mine."

It seemed Jakotsu couldn't get out of there quickly enough.

"Now then," Naraku said, his voice still tinged with ice and steel as he turned back to Kagura, "What do you think a fitting punishment would be for a little girl who can't obey her father? Who lets her stupidity cloud her devotion to our cause?"

She didn't answer, just closed her eyes and searched for a happy memory, _any_ happy memory. Experience had taught her that it was the surest way to endure one of Naraku's punishment rituals.

It didn't take long to find one, so few and far between they were, and she clung to it for dear life, even as she felt the poison start to seep into her veins and seem to catch her entire being afire.

* * *

The sound of the guard posted outside the dungeon doors falling to the floor after a loud _thunk_ roused Inuyasha from the delirious beginnings of much-needed slumber, but he didn't react outwardly until the door opened and he heard a very familiar voice.

"Wow, I _heard_ Yura had fucked you up good, but _this_ is something else."

Inuyasha was only able to give a small whimper of pain as he forced his own head upward, tried to make his eyes focus. He was tired, so tired. The weeping cuts all over his body were slowing his mind as well as his body, and all he wanted was to go back to sleep. Sleep meant refuge in crystal blue eyes and loving smiles. It meant pretending he was once more in her embrace, feeling her chest rise and fall with every breath, smelling the scent of her hair.

Yura must have somehow known that in sleep, he was safe, he was with _her_ , and they were together and always would be. And that was why Yura had refused to let him sleep. Refused to let him rest as long as she was able, at least until she finally gave up and went to go rest herself.

But Kouga had never been one to let Inuyasha enjoy anything for too long, had he?

The wolf youkai in question was standing there in the doorway, trying to look casual and snippy as per usual, but only succeeding in looking more disturbed as he looked Inuyasha up and down. _I must look pretty good,_ Inuyasha thought hazily, wanting to laugh but unable to summon the energy.

"Go away," Inuyasha muttered, his voice scraping past his throat like razor blades. The last thing he needed was Kouga telling him the truth again - that he was a liar, a betrayer, a deceiver, that he belonged nowhere, that he belonged to no _one_ …

Kouga visibly swallowed. Inuyasha's appearance had clearly shaken him. It would have been funny to see him speechless at any other time.

 _Look at him, Kagome. He's stunned. I'll bet he never knew bodies can even_ hold _this much blood._

 _Of course he didn't, idiot! I didn't either, at least until -_

As if summoned, a small outline of red pigtails appeared behind Kouga's shoulder, and Ayame tentatively stepped forward, ducking under Kouga's outstretched arm that was blocking the doorway. The look on her face was hesitant, pitying even.

The exhaustion was temporarily nothing, and Inuyasha bared his teeth and growled, pulling at his invisible chains again. He could feel only one of his arms, the left one. The right was held aloft only by the bindings. The shoulder was probably popped out of socket, the muscles severed clear through. It was throwing him off balance as he tried to lunge. The wounds that had scabbed over opened again, but then again, Inuyasha was used to that sensation by now.

Yura had had a lot of fun today. Yura _always_ had fun.

" _Awww, your blood pressure is dropping. That's no fun. It's not_ spraying _like I want it to." Ruby red lips pursed into a frown. Hands outstretched as his blood pooled into them. Streaks of red, glowing in the firelight as she splayed her fingers all over her bare chest, wearing him like war paint. Those same red lips curling into a smile, displaying pointed white fangs._

"Wait," Ayame said, striding forward, keeping her voice low and urgent, "Please, Your Highness, don't exhaust yourself."

Inuyasha just growled harder, feeling the rage fuel him, feeling the prickling behind his eyes that would have been tears of fury if he'd had anything to drink in the last two days. He tried to spring forward again, knowing the bindings would hold him back but not giving a shit. _You tried to kill her. My Kagome. You stabbed her through. You're the reason they found out about us. You're the reason it all fell apart._

Ayame seemed to note his growing ferocity and hesitated for just a split second, worrying her lower lip with her teeth. Kouga, for his part, looked ready at any moment to spring between them and protect his little she-wolf. _Good,_ Inuyasha thought, _because if I can get ahold of her she'll_ need _protecting, Kouga._

But then the little wolf-girl did something that made him pause. She stood up straight, chin held high, and then fell into a deep, supplicating bow, falling to her knees and letting her forehead touch the stone floor that was spattered with dark brown bloodstains. "Your Highness," she said, voice muffled by her position, "I understand how you feel. If someone had done to me…what I did to you and your human girl…I'd want to kill them too."

Inuyasha just glared down at her. "So _now_ you're sorry," he spat, "After I break your skull into pieces, you're sorry."

Kouga snarled and took a step forward as if to interject, and Inuyasha steeled himself for it. But then, without lifting her head, Ayame held up a hand, and to Inuyasha's astonishment, Kouga immediately stood down.

"Lord Kouga, _please_ ," she said softly, eyes still downcast, "He's right." She swallowed, and then looked up at Inuyasha, her bright green eyes large and seemingly sincere. "But, Your Highness, I beg of you to listen to me. Just for a moment. And then I'll be gone. It's not safe here for me anymore. I have to leave."

"Why?" Inuyasha asked, despite himself. He stared down at her with narrowed eyes, struggling to hold his head upright, his vision starting to blur again.

Ayame drew herself up into a kneeling position, hands on her lap. She kept her eyes on him, and the blatant concern for him on her face was near infuriating.

"Say your piece and then leave me," Inuyasha snapped. _Yes, get out of here. I want to sleep. Sleep means Kagome, and no more pain. For a little while, at least._

He heard Kagome's voice in his head again, laughing sweetly, and tried to hide the look of anguish on his face.

"Lord Naraku wants your human girl," she said, "He wants her healing powers."

Inuyasha scoffed, tasting more blood in his mouth and spitting it onto the ground unceremoniously. Ayame, to her credit, didn't flinch, just kept staring at him with those wide green eyes.

"He already hinted as much," Inuyasha muttered, "I'd like to see him try it. Kagome's not as weak as you make her out to be. She certainly gave _you_ a fight, didn't she? At least, until _you_ stabbed her in the back." Another growl, to punctuate his point.

Kouga looked ready to intervene again, but he just stood there behind Ayame, scowling.

Ayame's eyes fluttered closed for a moment, clearly taking the insult in stride, before she continued. "You don't understand," she said softly, "Lord Naraku can make _you…_ do _anything._ " And for a moment, she shuddered, looking truly afraid again. "He can enter your head. Make your body move even though you're in there screaming to be set free. And he'll do it to her, if he can."

Inuyasha's mind flashed with images of Ayame's hungry, lustful smile as she attacked Kagome in that empty field in the dark of night. Of Kouga's apparent surprise and shock at the young girl's actions.

Ayame seemed to read those thoughts of his, and answered them with an assertive nod. "It wasn't me," she whispered, her voice starting to tremble, her hands starting to shake in her lap, "It was my body, but it wasn't _me,_ Your Highness."

Behind her, Kouga looked truly stunned, and then _murderously_ angry. "That was _Naraku?_ " he demanded, rushing forward towards Ayame, but once again faltering when she held her hand up to halt his progress.

"Lord Kouga, _please,_ " she said softly, tears welling in her eyes, as if she weren't quite ready to have the same conversation with him yet, "Let me finish this."

"How?" Inuyasha asked through a dry throat, trying to swallow and failing.

She understood what he was asking right away, and she shivered again, screwing her eyes shut as if in pain. "I don't know," she said, a tinge of frustrated desperation in her voice, "I don't remember what happened. But then he was inside me and he had me and all I could see, smell, taste, touch…" She trailed off, staring down at her hands, truly shaking now, looking broken and shellshocked.

 _She's_ traumatized, he thought. And against his will there was a stab of pity in his guts.

"I didn't get much of his thoughts," she murmured haltingly, as if she had a searing headache and it pained her to think, "but I got _enough,_ Your Highness. Lord Naraku is bringing in more of his loyalists day by day, right under the nose of your brother and under the guise of helping with the war effort."

"After Sesshomaru pardoned him and brought him out of exile?" Inuyasha was trying to convey disbelief but it probably was just coming off as exhaustion again. "I knew he was a sadistic anti-human bastard, but I never thought he'd have the stones to - "

"He thinks Prince Sesshomaru is wrong on the subject of the humans," Ayame said, folding her arms around herself, as if just recalling the poisonous thoughts was chilling her to the bone, "He cares nothing for your family's revenge on the shogun. He just wants death… _chaos…_ " Suddenly Ayame looked a bit faint and unsteady, and Kouga noticed it too, because he sprang forward and caught her to hold her up.

Inuyasha struggled to stand up a little taller, knowing he couldn't, that his leg muscles were nearly atrophied at this point, but trying nonetheless. "He made you attack Kagome," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, "He made you _kill_ her."

A look of regretful anguish overtook Ayame's young face and she nodded silently. "He said…" and here she concentrated hard again, clearly trying hard to recall, "…he said he was _curious._ That there was a question he had that he wanted answered."

His strength was starting to fail him, despite the ice overtaking his heart at the words, and Inuyasha slumped downward to hang from his deadened arms once again, ears flat against his skull. "That's why he gave me the extended transformation vial," he muttered softly, his words starting to slur with exhaustion, "Somehow…somehow he _knew_ about her powers. And he planted me there right in the middle of it, to draw her out and make her powers flourish."

 _It's because of me. Somehow, this is all because of me._ The world around him started to swim, as if it were patterns of oil submerged in river water.

"I don't know." He could hear Ayame answering him, clearly trying to bring comfort, but then there was a faint sound in the hallway outside and he heard both her and Kouga immediately, reflexively stand to attention. He heard her footsteps retreat across the stone floor, stop, turn, and then the footsteps were returning and growing louder and her face appeared below his, staring up at him with urgency in her eyes.

"Your Highness," she whispered, and there was another noise in the hallway that made her turn her head for a moment, "I have to leave now. I have to disappear. I don't know much else about what he's planning, and I don't know what the coming days will bring. But I know one thing - he hasn't won yet. And he won't." There was a fierce determination on her face behind the fear, and the look for some reason was very familiar.

 _Except the eyes should be blue, not green, right?_ He could almost hear the mirthful, teasing giggle in his head, clear as day while the rest of the world was a dull blur.

"Ayame," Kouga's muffled, garbled voice sounded out, "We have to go. _Now._ "

A final look up at him, and then Ayame's face had disappeared from view, and after a moment he heard the door slam shut again and he was alone with his wild, desperate thoughts.

 _Because of me it's all because of me somehow he KNEW he KNEW and he knew I'd die to defend her and she would me and how did he KNOW -_

With a painful grunt, his stomach tried to empty itself. There was nothing to empty out, and so he just gagged and choked in the desolate silence of his dungeon home.

And then, as it always did, her voice spoke up again in his head, and he clung to it desperately, pictured her beautiful face once more, imagined her encircling his waist with the wiry muscle of her lean arms, pressing her cheek into his collarbone as she'd often done in the aftermath of making love.

 _Shhh,_ the voice said, and his dry heaves calmed and his heartbeat slowed to a calmer pace, _they'll never get me. I'm far, far away by now, and I still hate you to my core. I'm far away, away from where they'll ever find me, and I'll marry another, and soon you'll be a distant memory of a time long past for me._

 _That's my girl,_ he thought, feeling more and more of his sanity draining as he imagined himself kissing the top of her head approvingly, _hate me and stay away. Stay safe and forget me._

The words brought a stinging comfort as he passed out, dead to the world once again, at least until Yura returned in the morning.

* * *

"And the man's name was Okada?" The shogun sipped his tea sagely.

Miroku nodded, then remembered himself. _Ceremony, Miroku, ceremony._ The very thing he'd been lecturing poor Sango about, and here he was acting like he was once again back in the training camp. "Yes, my lord Shogun. But we aren't sure what his true name was, only that he infiltrated us without anyone's knowledge or suspicion. That he was likely passing messages back and forth from the very start, sabotaging us at every turn."

"A youkai in disguise," the shogun mused, "spying on our troops. What _will_ Prince Sesshomaru think of next?" He lightly set the cup down onto the table, his expression alarmingly calm. Almost _unsurprised_ at the revelation. The rest of the ranked men sitting in a circle didn't seem rattled either.

So Miroku tried again, clearing his throat awkwardly and feeling very weighed down in this new armor of his. "My lord Shogun," he said, keeping his tone respectful but urgent, "Shouldn't we be more alarmed? More wary of spies in the ranks? If the youkai have done this once, who's to say they haven't planted double agents in human disguise all over our troops?"

"Youkai are deceptive, vicious animals, to be sure," the shogun said with a nod, "But we are smarter, and we are stronger. We are the ones the gods intended to inherit this land."

"But my lord," Miroku protested, "I was _there._ We were mowed down like blades of grass. All of the training, all of the manpower, and now there are entire garrisons dead. We're working with dwindled numbers and a complete lack of understanding of the enemy."

"The sacrifices made by General Naito and his men will forever be remembered. Loyal servants of the shogunate always are. Would you like some more tea, Captain?"

Miroku glanced down at the cup in his hands. He'd barely touched it. It was growing cold. "No thank you, my lord." He fumblingly brought it to his lips and took a quick sip, looking around at all the other faces with bewilderment. "My lord," he said quietly, feeling rather subdued and confused and unsettled, "They have the Taijiya weapons. The legendary demon-killing weapons…they're in the hands of the youkai now. Shouldn't we be more concerned here?" He was aware his sentiments were repeating themselves; he didn't care.

"Now that _is_ a shame," the shogun said, sitting back slightly with a slightly bitter smirk on his face, "They were so well-crafted. Ancient and powerful. I suppose Taijiya deserves the brunt of the blame for it. It seems they entrusted their location and safekeeping to the wrong person. Naito should have forcefully taken custody of them when he had the opportunity." He sipped his tea and cleared his throat. "Gods rest him, of course."

There was a flash of defiant anger that swelled up in Miroku's guts, so he took another gulp of lukewarm tea to hide it and remained silent.

" _Sango. Run."_

 _Her sad, defeated smile. Her eyes sparkling with tears. That look on her face, the one that told him things that would have made his heart soar with elation if he weren't about to die violently._

" _No."_

"We must of course delegate the task of the weapons' recovery," the shogun continued, speaking now to the other gathered officers, who murmured in agreement. "That can be decided upon later, however. We have more pressing things to discuss, don't we?"

Miroku was fighting not to look as stunned as he felt. _How can he be so calm about all this? At the revelation that there was a demon spy amongst us? The fact that we were_ that _outmatched in open combat with just a_ handful _of youkai -_

"General Ibushi," the shogun leveled his gaze at the man to Miroku's left, a large, muscle-bound man who looked almost squeezed into his shogunate armor, "I trust we are ready to proceed in our move against the kitsune encampments?"

 _Kitsune…fox youkai?_ Miroku kept silent. He hadn't even heard tell of kitsune involvement in the conflict at all. But then again, he was barely an officer, wasn't he? He couldn't expect to know everything about every front right away.

The smile Ibushi gave in response was more of a leer, and practically dripped with confidence. "Yes, my lord Shogun. We are ready at your earliest word."

The shogun gave a kind smile. "Very well. Now, I suppose, there's one last item on the agenda for discussion, and that's what's to be done with the Higurashi girl."

The resulting chuckles around the table both froze Miroku's blood and made it boil with rage again. The shogun seemed to take note of Miroku's grip tightening around the cup of tea, and so addressed him directly once more.

"Captain Miroku," the old man said, a kind smile on his face, "You fought alongside the girl. What are _your_ thoughts on the matter?"

 _My thoughts? Leave her alone and let her fight. She's got more courage in her little finger than half of these so-called officers._

"She was a capable warrior," Miroku said, fighting the urge to glare at the chuckles this statement evoked. "Not at first, no, but she worked hard. She was up at dawn every day, fighting past the natural disadvantages her female physique brought her."

"You're saying a _woman,_ " the one called Ibushi spoke up, baring yellowing teeth in a dismissive scowl, "a _woman_ who lived among men without any sort of supervision, who no doubt drove the men around her to distraction, disguise or not, should be _celebrated_ for such wanton behavior?"

"I'm saying," Miroku said evenly, giving the man a dull look, "that she showed fearless commitment to a cause that, frankly, most of the drafted men looked at with doubt and fear. If a man had showed such heroism in the face of a terrifying unknown, would you dismiss it so offhandedly, General Ibushi?"

Ibushi's brows drew together in an even more pronounced glare. "Apparently impudence is a common trait amongst that little rabble of boys and broken old men that you call a garrison," he sneered, "No wonder there's hardly any of you left. The better men are elsewhere, preparing for a higher form of warfare - "

"General Ibushi." The words from the shogun were sharper than any Miroku had heard from him thus far. "Cool your tongue, and remember to think before you speak."

"My apologies, my lord Shogun," Ibushi said quickly, then sent Miroku a brief, self-satisfied grin before continuing, "Gods rest all their poor souls, of course."

Miroku's teeth clamped down onto his tongue and he just barely kept himself together. It was all he could do to keep from turning purple with unfiltered rage. _We were just cattle, weren't we? The loss of so many…it affects things so little for these pompous bastards._

"It's clear that this subject is quite controversial, as I suspected it would be," the shogun said, the kindly demeanor back on his face as he took another delicate sip of his steaming tea, "But I'm of a mind to agree with Captain Miroku on this. Punishing such devotion may do more harm than good, General."

Ibushi looked a little subdued at this. _Serves you right, you piece of human excrement._ Miroku found himself wishing Kagome were here to defend herself; she'd have likely been chomping at the bit to show this man just how _impudent_ she could be.

"And," the shogun continued, a half-smile appearing on his aged yet handsome face, "perhaps this lovely young lady has even more to offer us in these times of conflict."

Another man at the table, a scrawny, ratlike man in his mid-forties or so, chose that moment to speak up as well. "I humbly agree, my lord Shogun," he said, in a high, nasal voice, "I think the Lady Kagome could become a symbol of hope and unity to the populace. I think she should be allowed to remain a warrior. Let the people see the value in our campaigns against the filthy demonic presence that has too long plagued our land."

The shogun smiled at this. "Perhaps," he said with a cryptic air. There was a pause that hung in the air, and then with a gentle sigh, the shogun stood from the table, and everyone else seated scrambled to follow. "Thank you all very much, gentlemen. You've given me much to consider tonight. I will see you all tonight when the court convenes. Until then, go and seek pleasure in food, drink and women. There are plenty about, many of them no doubt anxiously awaiting your returns home at this hour." He laughed a little under his breath, as did the rest of the room. Miroku did not join in. "Of course, there is at least one woman who would likely _not_ welcome such amorous intentions; Lady Kagome seems to be spoken for, and if Captain Miroku is to be believed, she's not a little dangerous, to boot. No need to go home to your wives with fingernail scratches all over your faces, right?"

The entire company laughed again. Miroku just clenched his fists at his sides, his teeth still set firmly on the edges of his tongue, biting until it hurt.

* * *

This time, when the knock sounded on the door, Kagome was awake enough to sit up.

"Don't you dare get up," said Sango with a smile, reaching out to squeeze Kagome's shoulder as she rolled off the bed and went to answer the call.

"Hello, all," said Miroku, wearing his typical easygoing smile as he slipped into the room. Kagome stifled one last yawn and gave him a very ungraceful wave.

"Nice hair," the former priest and now, it seemed, captain said with a pointed smirk at the top of her head. She fumbled up there and realized that whatever fancy, graceful hairdo those miracle-working maidservants had done was a thing of the past.

With a wrinkle of her nose and a mumbled, "Shut up," she began undoing all the combs and ornaments. "Should you even be _in_ here, Miroku? If someone sees you, they'll think Sango and I aren't proper ladies."

The lighthearted remark didn't get the reaction she expected; for a moment his handsome features darkened into a scowl before he seemed to remember himself and grin at her like nothing had happened.

"So what happened?" It seemed Sango wasn't willing to discuss propriety at all and wanted to cut right to the chase.

"I think we're alright," Miroku said, though it was clear he was trying to be hesitant about any celebrations or sighs of relief just yet.

At this, Sango looked about ready to throw caution to the wind and cry tears of joy, but seemed to hold herself back at Miroku's gentle prompting.

Kagome, for her part, couldn't resist the burst of air that rushed out of her lungs. "I wasn't sure," she murmured, "The shogun is a hard man to read."

"He still is," Miroku said warily, "but it seemed you may have won him to your side in the end, Kagome. Don't take it for granted, though. You still have to defend yourself publicly, in front of a crowd that may well want to devour you alive."

"Then," Sango said, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly, "maybe I should find those handmaidens again so they can redo your hair?"

 _Yeah, sure, put back on the disguise. It's not like you look ten types of awkward in all that noble finery, right?_

 _Shut up and leave me in peace. Haven't you done enough?_ Kagome closed her eyes and forced her mind to clear, forced the voice to fade to nothing before replying.

"No," she said, telling herself that she wasn't taking _his_ advice, not really, because he wasn't _there,_ not really, "If I'm going to speak for myself, I want to look like myself. Where's my armor?"

* * *

 _ **I SWEAR SOMEDAY I'LL GET THROUGH AT LEAST ONE CHAPTER INVOLVING INUYASHA WITHOUT BRINGING MYSELF TO WHIMPERY TEARS. SOMEDAY. *wails incoherently***_

 _ **Hi, Kagura! Welcome to the Pain Train, enjoy your trip! Her presence probably answers a few of y'all's questions...and raises dozens more, right? Hahaha. Don't worry. It will all be made plain soon enough. Probably.**_

 _ **So most of you really liked our dear old shogun last chapter, which made me cackle with weird glee. Unfortunately, he's still a man in an era where women are subservient and lesser-than. Maybe it'll take a little more for him to come around. We'll see, won't we?**_

 _ **At least things are looking to be in Kagome's favor, right? And bless both of their sweet lil hearts, hearing each other's voices like anchors in their heads at a time when they think all is lost...**_

 _ **Ayame and Kouga are going ON THE ROAD AGAIN, THEY JUST CAN'T WAIT TO GET ON THE ROAD AGAIN...you know, because otherwise Naraku will kill them both and make it look like an accident?**_

 _ **Please review! Thanks for your patience as usual. These last few chapters are, as I've mentioned in the past, much harder to crank out all at once because they require me to be in a very, VERY sad and mean headspace. Said headspace is hard to maintain when you've got a hubby and a cat-child and they're looking over their shoulders wondering why you're glaring at a computer screen with tears running down your face, right? Hahahaha.**_

 _ **ALSO, I HAVE A TUMBLR! Well, I've had one for a few months, but I'm actually, like USING it now. I'm posting fic progress updates there, as well as other random fic ideas and drabbles that are invading my brain when it's trying to escape the angst farm I've created here. :)**_

 _ **Easy to find. Same username. Come find me and say hi! Or ask me questions. I love getting questions, and I will answer them to the best of my ability while trying to remain spoiler-free.**_

 _ **Love you guys! - meggz0rz**_

 _ **EDIT: OH MY GOD I'M THE WORST. I forgot to thank the WONDERFUL, FABULOUS "that's just morbid" (or nony314 on Tumblr) for the ABSOLUTELY STUNNING FAN ART OF OUR POOR, SWEET KAGOME IN HER BLACK ARMOR. I'll post a link to it on my profile, or you can find it on either my page or nony's. It's seriously the most beautiful thing ever and it made me weep like a newborn babe. I'm so flattered and delighted to receive things like this, especially when they're so completely true to the image in my head. For reals guys, go take a look. It's like nony had a photo of the inside of my brain when I pictured Kagome.**_


	25. Voices

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twenty-Five**

 **VOICES**

* * *

 _ **SONG RECS:**_

 _ **"Bamboo" by Cirque du Soleil's Dralion (Play this during the battle scene. :D)**_

 _ **"Rebel Heart" by CFO$ (Kagome's theme song, yesIknowthissongisfromwrestlingfightme)**_

 _ **"Ghost" by House of SAY ("He doesn't leave me alone...he will come back in the night...")**_

* * *

They _ran_.

His hand gripped her wrist tightly enough for it to hurt, and he kept his eyes straight ahead, not looking back at her, clearly concentrating on using his greater strength and speed to get them both out of the castle, out of the stronghold, and outside the barrier.

Ayame had assumed they would keep going once they reached the cover of the forest, where they could bob and weave around to cover their tracks. Instead, Kouga just stopped short for a moment and stood there, scanning the treeline, his breathing only slightly labored even after running what had to have been miles.

"Lord Kouga?" Ayame whispered, approaching him from behind and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Finally, he turned. And the look on his _face_ …

He was so angry. He looked ready to tear someone apart with his bare hands. His teeth were bared and sharp, his eyes wide and glaring. His chest rose and fell with every breath he took, and the air rushed out of his mouth in quiet hisses as he stared at her.

"L-Lord Kouga," she stammered, snatching her hand back from his shoulder, ashamed to be touching him. "I - I'm so sorry to put you through this. I think I can go on alone now. You should get back before they start blaming you for my disappearance."

"That's not an option." The words were terse, his voice low.

"Of course it is!" she said insistently, holding her shoulders to avoid flinching away from his glowing gaze, "I'm not a child anymore. I can take care of myself. I don't want to put anyone else in danger."

They'd had this conversation so many times, hadn't they? But never under these circumstances. Never with him staring at her with fury in his eyes. It was unsettling. _Terrifying_ , even.

There was a silence and stillness in the air as Ayame struggled to find words to further explain herself. Kouga just glared at the ground below them.

"If you think," he said finally, his voice a gruff, harsh whisper, "I'm going to let a member of our pack go off alone to be hunted down…" He fixed her with a fierce glare, and she felt herself take a halting breath at the blue intensity of his eyes, glowing in the moonlight. "…Then you don't really know me at all."

"Kouga," she said, forgetting the title she usually used with him, forgetting everything but how much she felt like trembling. She moved her hand upward, ready to reach out for him, and then thought better of it and settled it across her stomach.

"Come on," he growled, "I can smell Jakotsu behind us, and he's not going to waste time saying hello. Naraku's already made his move."

Without a word, he slipped a hand around her waist, and she bit her lip to keep from shivering as he pushed her forward, spurring her to run in front of him.

* * *

"Are you ready?" Miroku whispered out of the corner of his mouth. He stood there next to her, fidgeting a little with the scabbard tied to his waist, looking more uncomfortable than ever in the ornate armor of a shogunate officer.

"No," Kagome said truthfully, "but better to find out the outcome _now_ than to wait another moment." She let herself inhale, exhale, and felt her eyes flutter shut for just a moment to collect herself.

At her response, Miroku did his best to smile before giving her shoulder a quick squeeze. Once he felt they were both well composed, he resumed his soldierly posture and nodded to the guard in front of them to open the doors to the throne room.

On the other side of the doors stood an anxious looking Hojo, His hands, which were stuffed into the folds of his regal-looking kimono, were visibly shaking. "Kagome," he said, stepping toward her and then stopping as he took in the black armor, the sword sheathed at her side. "Kagome, what on earth - why are you not dressed for - "

She silenced him by placing a hand on his shoulder and giving him her best hopeful smile. "Hojo, just trust me, alright?" _I know what I'm doing. I think. I hope._

He covered her hand with his own, staring back at her with clear longing and unfiltered worry. He looked very uncertain, but he said nothing further as the three of them proceeded to cross the throne room. Hojo and Miroku hung back a bit to allow Kagome to take the lead.

Kagome kept her head high and made sure to show no hesitation or shame of her masculine dress and short, unadorned hair. She kept her eyes forward as she, Miroku, and Hojo walked forward down the parted sea of courtiers who were staring and whispering amongst themselves.

There at the end of the room sat the shogun upon a throne-like wooden chair, just as Kagome had imagined when she'd rehearsed this moment in her head.

She _hadn't_ imagined the great, stark-white columns arranged in an arching pattern behind the throne. Her eyes wandered upward towards the ceiling and widened as she realized what the columns were made of.

 _Bones. Gigantic, oddly-shaped bones._

 _Youkai bones._

Before she had time to even process the sight, she heard the shogun's voice, raised slightly for the benefit of all in the crowded room.

"Lady Kagome," he said, with a gentle nod and a mischievous smirk, "I expected you to be dressed, shall we say, a bit more _formally_ for this occasion. And here you come in all black, wearing a sword. I told you to look your best, did I not?"

Kagome swallowed, kept her head up and took a breath. "This _is_ my best."

There were some titters of laughter in the all-male crowd.

 _Ignore it,_ she said to herself. _Look at the shogun. He's the one you have to convince here._

The man in question looked mildly surprised at the boldness of her answer, and then gave her that smile again, the one that knew he knew more than she did and was relishing in it.

 _Like the ones I used to give you, huh? You poor, naive kid._

 _Leave me. Just leave me be. This is_ important _and you're breaking my concentration._

"You never cease to surprise, Lady Kagome." The shogun sat up a little straighter in his throne, ready to get down to business. "Very well. Let's carry on." He gave a pointed glance to Miroku and Hojo, who immediately left Kagome's side and went to stand amongst the rest of the courtiers.

 _All alone now. Just me, having to argue my case._

 _Not alone, Kagome. Never alone._

 _GET OUT OF MY HEAD I DON'T NEED YOU -_

"You, Kagome of the Higurashi Clan, stand accused of impersonating a soldier in the shogunate army. How would you like to answer this charge?"

 _Here we go. Hope this works._ The voice in her head once again wasn't her own, but she drowned it out by clearing her throat to speak loudly and clearly.

"I did not impersonate a soldier, my lord Shogun. I _am_ a soldier."

The reaction in the crowd was what she expected. Angry grumblings, baleful looks, and one shout of "How dare you!" ringing above the din.

"A-A soldier of the shogunate," she continued, raising her voice even louder above the noise, "bound to serve in any way I can. It was for the love of my family that I joined the cause; it is for the love of our land, our _home_ , that I remain, even now." The sounds of the crowd were growing louder, more outraged, but she forced herself to stand tall despite her trembling legs.

 _Keep your eyes forward. Keep them on the shogun._

A man stepped forward from the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd, causing the grumbles to fall to a hushed silence. Kagome had never seen this man before, but he wore the ornate trappings and breastplate of a man of very high rank; the helmet under his arm was custom-made and had a very distinct design along the side of it.

 _A general, perhaps?_ Kagome felt her spine stiffen as the man looked her up and down dismissively. And then the shogun addressed the man and confirmed her guess.

"General Ibushi," the shogun said, "You have something to say, I trust?"

"I do, my lord Shogun."

Another mysterious smile appeared on the great man's face. "Then proceed freely, old friend."

General Ibushi's smile looked strangely hungry as he turned bodily to face Kagome again. She kept her spine straight.

 _Stare him right in the eye. Show him you're not afraid._

She fixed him with a proud, even stare, and the voice in her head gave a familiar, muted chuckle.

 _That's my girl._

 _Shut UP._

"You call yourself a soldier, my lady." The tone of his voice was calm and almost kindly, as if he were speaking to a young child who didn't know any better. "Very well. And who could dispute you, bearing arms in the presence of the shogun?"

The general stalked around her, scanning her up and down, a predatory cat circling prey, deciding how best to strike. "You walk like a soldier, you stand at attention like a soldier, and in that armor you even _smell_ like a soldier," he said, wrinkling his nose with exaggeration to gain some more laughs from the crowd. "All in all, very convincing. But soldiers, at the end of the day, are not pretty girls wearing uniforms. Soldiers are there for one thing - to _fight."_

His tone had been so calm that the blow to the side of Kagome's ribs came with no warning. She grunted in pain and stumbled forward, fists clenched at her side while Ibushi grinned with obvious self-satisfaction, twirling the still-sheathed blade at his side.

* * *

As General Ibushi struck Kagome with a thudding blow, Miroku took a step forward, feeling fury wash over him. _This is too much,_ he thought, _I should have known they'd use every excuse to try and humiliate her, to_ make an example _of her -_

"Stop it!" Hojo cried out, trying to rush out there as well, looking sick to his stomach. Miroku immediately forgot his own desire to intervene and focused instead on holding Hojo back.

"Ah, it seems we're hearing from the husband-to-be! My apologies, Lord Hojo. And also to you, my lady." Ibushi, still smiling, gave a deep bow. "I have never struck a woman before, and I hope to never do so again. It's an unbecoming act." He turned to the crowd, raising his voice to address them. "Almost as unbecoming as this - " he gestured toward Kagome's state of dress, a scowl on his lips, " - _masquerade_."

Kagome hadn't looked up at either Miroku or Hojo despite the outburst. Instead she simply stood there, staring down at the floor, rubbing absently at the new bruise that had to be forming beneath that black armor.

Then she spoke again, her volume soft but her diction clear as day.

"Try it again."

Ibushi stopped short and whirled around to face her. He seemed at a loss for words for just a moment but recovered quickly. "I beg your pardon, Lady Kagome. I thought you were trained as a _soldier_. Surely even _you_ know that you should never speak over a superior officer without permission?"

"I do, sir. I apologize for my impudence." Kagome stood up straight again, and even from his vantage point Miroku could see the fire blazing in those crystal-blue eyes of hers. "If you please, _sir_ , try it again. I wasn't aware you had doubts about my combat abilities. I'd be happy to demonstrate."

Her lips curled into a small smile, and she looked so wonderfully beautiful and strong and confident that Miroku found himself wishing Sango were here to witness it. _You tell him, kid. We're both so proud of you._

Ibushi, for his part, looked utterly disgusted. "You stand here and issue a challenge like that, in the presence of the shogun, and you expect this could in any way end _well_ for you?"

Kagome didn't answer him, just smiled as she drew her sword from her belt.

"You dare bare steel here, in the throne room?" The shout came from a man near Miroku in the crowd. Miroku, under the guise of adjusting his position among the throng of people, took great pleasure in grinding his foot upon the culprit's heel, sparking a yelp of surprise and pain from the man.

"I dare to defend myself and anything else from those who would do me harm," Kagome called out to the crowd in response. The smile was still on her face.

And then, before anyone else could say anything, Miroku had to fight back a triumphant outburst when the shogun smiled as well.

"Well, this could be interesting," the old man said, stroking his beard with a long, delicate finger, "Or at the very least, entertaining after a fashion. Ibushi, would you mind showing her the true strength of a soldier of the kingdom? A demonstration is in order."

Ibushi gave a quick nod, glowering at Kagome. "I fought alongside your grandfather," he hissed at her, "And your father. And now I'm going to help you restore the honor you stripped from their legacies. You'll thank me in the end, my lady."

Kagome visibly took a deep breath, steeling herself up, and took a defensive stance, readying herself for whatever was to come.

* * *

The first attack from Ibushi came in the form of a forward thrust, which she easily riposted, sending him into defensive mode instead. Ibushi's eyes flared for a moment and then he was smirking at her again, turning his back on her and walking to the edge of the scattered crowd.

"Let's see how well they train our conscripts these days," Ibushi mused, turning and handing his helmet to another soldier standing nearby, seemingly taking his time to adjust himself, "even if those conscripts have no right to even hold a sword."

She heard his blade unsheathe.

 _Here he comes,_ she heard the voice in her head say as the General stalked towards her. Bracing herself, Kagome scanned the man before her up and down. She took note of his gait, his stance, _anything_ that would give her the upper hand and clue her in on what her opponent might be strategizing. Once Ibushi was close, he spun around and launched himself at her. Flurrying overhead strikes at her head and shoulders, Kagome managed to block each one with the wide edge of her blade. However, at that moment Kagome realized that with both arms occupied fending off the blows, she'd left her body wide open. _Stupid, stupid, stupid…_

His knee came up then, and she leapt backward enough to turn a smashing strike that would have knocked the wind from her lungs into merely a glancing blow. Ibushi noticed Kagome's retreating steps backwards and grinned with satisfaction. "Sloppy, sloppy," he said scoldingly, leaning over her heavily, "No form at all. You _did_ go through training camp, did you not?"

She felt her teeth clench, and as he turned to the crowd to gloat, relieving the pressure on her blocking stance just enough, she aimed a sword slash up past his head, pulling to the right at the last second. As the tip of her sword flashed in front of Ibushi's nose, Kagome watched the smile die on his face as he turned to look at her with renewed anger.

 _He's underestimating you. He's an idiot._

 _Please go away don't you understand I can't concentrate when you're taking over my thoughts like this -_

"You're a bold one, aren't you?" Ibushi muttered, bringing Kagome out of her thoughts and back to reality. "You care to _prolong_ this? Very well, my lady, I'll oblige you. Never let it be said I don't give a woman what she - "

Kagome would _not_ let him finish. She took a lightning-quick step forward and snapped a side kick directly into Ibushi's hip. Now it was _his_ turn to stumble in surprise.

"Oblige me, then," she challenged, lowering the sword to her side, standing there completely open and unguarded. "Your move, General, sir."

She thought she heard Hojo's voice saying her name admonishingly, like he was shocked at her flippant tone. She ignored it.

Nearly purple with anger, Ibushi lunged again, with a series of swipes to the side this time. "You stand there and mock me," he spat, going for her arms, her legs, whatever he could reach, "You know _nothing_ of the ways of war, or what it means to be a trained soldier!"

" _Kagome, stay low!"_ She remembered a dark forest at night, slashing claws, feral growls, and _his_ eyes, so wide and terrified and -

Kagome dropped to her knees.

* * *

Miroku watched her crumple, heard Hojo cry out again, and felt his own heart drop for a split second.

Until he saw her smile again, peeking through the black strands of her hair.

He stood there wide-eyed and watched as Ibushi's legs suddenly seemed to give out completely, causing him to crash heavily to the floor with a thud.

* * *

Kagome lay there in her crablike position, her slender legs still entangled with Ibushi's ankles. She leaned into the hold, knowing Ibushi's joints were likely searing with pain.

"General," she grunted, feeling a bead of sweat drip from her temple from exertion, "I know much more than you think."

 _Learned from the best, didn't you?_

 _Shut UP._

"Wh-what is this?" Ibushi said, trying to claw and scramble his way out of the pin, "You think you can kill a youkai by _tripping it_? Is _this_ the combat skill you're so proud of - "

Funny how even the most blusterous men stop ranting when the sharp edge of a katana grazes the skin of their neck. Ibushi's silence was very telling.

"No, sir," she replied, balancing on the strength of just one arm, "But even youkai have trouble fighting back when their throats have been slit, right?" She dug her heels in, tightened the stranglehold her legs had on his, and let the blade nick his skin slightly.

"You little - " Ibushi roared with effort and finally managed to free himself from the trap she'd fashioned out of her own armored shins. He rolled to the side, raised up on all fours, and shakily returned to his feet. Kagome took the time to do the same, flicking her hair back from her face with a single confident toss of her head.

"I had to work twice as hard," she said, looking him square in the eye as she twirled her katana once in her hand, "And be twice as smart to even have a fighting chance. If that's not what a soldier does, then I suppose you're right about me, sir."

Ibushi's fingers went to the small cut under his chin, and he visibly snarled at the blood she'd drawn, then spat on the ground in front of her before charging her again. She got her guard up and felt his katana blade nick the back of her sword hand as she spun backward, trying to dodge. It stung and was already starting to bleed freely, but it wasn't deep. Nothing to worry about. She could still move. She'd have to be careful not to let her grip slip, though.

She felt a group of bodies at her back. She'd spun all the way into the edge of the gathered crowd.

"Kagome!" Hojo's face sprang into the edge of her field of vision. "Are you - oh, _gods,_ Kagome, _stop this!_ There has to be another way -"

Before she could reply, she felt two strong, familiar hands grip her shoulders gently.

"Don't heal yourself." It was Miroku's voice, purposely just above a whisper.

Kagome frowned, keeping her eyes straight ahead as she whispered back. "I wasn't going to - at least, not right _now_ \- "

"Just don't. Trust me." She felt his thumbs behind her shoulder blades, and he gave a gentle push to send her back upright. She took another step toward Ibushi, ready for more.

"Enough, both of you, before you stain the floor or dent it even further."

They both stopped short and immediately turned to face the throne again, both breathing a little hard. Hojo, who had likely been struggling against Miroku's much stronger grip the entire time, finally broke loose and rushed forward, taking Kagome's uninjured hand in both of his own and staring at her as if he'd never seen her before in his life. Ibushi, for his part, looked not a little humbled at his winded state, and deep within herself Kagome felt a sort of fierce glee that she didn't dare put on display.

The shogun actually looked pleased. _Satisfied._

"Your methods may be…unconventional, Lady Kagome," he said calmly, "but the fact remains that you are likely one of the first people to knock our dear general off his feet in a very, very long time." His dark blue eyes scanned the crowd. "Does anyone else have something to say before I pass judgment?"

Hojo opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off.

"I do, my lord Shogun," said a man elbowing through the crowd. Another officer, it seemed, but where Ibushi was solid and tall and muscular, this man was thin, almost underfed-looking, with teeth far too big for his mouth that gave him a very odd countenance to say the least.

Kagome gave Hojo a gentle push to the side, stood in front of him, and readied herself in case _this one_ wanted to try her out in combat as well, but the man merely stopped in front of her, cast a sidelong glance to the shogun, and gave her a deep and respectful bow.

 _Well, this is unexpected._

 _Go AWAY_.

"My lord Shogun," the man said, his voice raspy and high-pitched, "This girl shows devotion and loyalty and not a small amount of skill. What sort of men would we be if we turned down a capable warrior in these trying times, female or not?"

"A very astute argument, General Nakamura," the shogun said. "Lady Kagome, your skill in battle is…unrefined, to be certain, but there can be no denial of the results. You had General Ibushi at your mercy a few moments ago."

Next to her, Ibushi huffed with outrage but said nothing.

"You do credit to the skills of the officers who trained you." The shogun paused for a moment, then continued. "Gods rest all their souls."

 _Not all of them._ She heard him laugh again in her head.

 _You'll join them soon enough in the afterlife, don't you worry._

 _I can't wait._

Kagome chastised herself for continuing to talk to _him_ in her head; for having foolish, futile conversations with a man who didn't even _exist,_ at least not really; not the way _she'd_ known him. All while the entire throne room, and no doubt a crowd of others outside, were watching her like a hawk. Lucky for her that her current grip on sanity was already somewhat tenuous, because Kagome felt that this was enough to drive any sane person into a hysterical fit. In an effort to ground herself she bit down on her tongue hard enough to taste iron and stood there as the shogun continued.

"I don't wish to see this become a trend," the shogun went on, "It would be most inconvenient to see all the housewives and old mothers running off into battle at every given moment." A small round of chuckles from the crowd again. "However, for a case such as this, I believe an exception to our laws can be made."

Kagome tried not to make her sigh of relief obvious as Hojo's arms encircled her shoulders for a brief moment before he clearly remembered himself and stepped back, cheeks red.

"Lady Kagome," the great man said, raising his voice for all to hear, "We, the shogunate, thank you for all your dedicated service against the youkai menace. You will remain a part of this great army, this force for change and peace." He paused, looking down at the wound on her hand, which was trickling blood down the side of her leg. "Do you require medical attention, my lady? We can wait a moment if you do."

"Thank you, my lord Shogun, but I'll be alright." She flexed the injured fingers, feeling the blood running between them.

"Why don't you tell them what you _really_ are?" Another harsh voice rang out from the crowd.

Kagome recognized the guttural tone immediately, and her eyes locked on Miroku's for a brief instant. He stared back, and seemed to utter a quiet curse under his breath as Sanada shoved his way to the front of the group.

The shogun narrowed his eyes in annoyance at being interrupted. "Something to say, soldier?"

Sanada drew himself up to his full height and pointed a thick finger at Kagome. "She says she wants to help the cause, rid the world of demons, but she's a _demon_ herself!"

The crowd, so vocally against Kagome mere minutes before, seemed to have changed its tune as a result of the shogun's accepting words. So it came as a bit of a surprise to Kagome when they grumbled in confusion as Sanada stood there accusingly.

"How _dare_ you!" Hojo's hands once again went to Kagome's shoulders and he gripped her protectively. He looked _furious._ A first time for everything, she supposed.

The rat-faced general, the one named Nakamura, cut in, addressing Sanada as if Hojo hadn't spoken. "A demon you say, soldier? That's interesting. What gives you this insight, then?" He looked amused.

"Sh-She's got _powers,_ " Sanada bellowed, stabbing his finger toward her as a means of punctuating his statements, "I had a sword slash to the leg and she used her _demon magic_ to heal it! She healed a fatal wound like it was _nothing!_ "

Kagome didn't have to force the bewildered expression onto her face.

"Kagome, what is he - " Hojo whispered haltingly. She opened her mouth to answer, but the shogun beat her to it.

"Demon magic, you say. So it's your position that this young lady - " he inclined his head toward Kagome, " - is a youkai in disguise, here to undermine us all?"

Sanada hesitated, then nodded, sending Kagome a fierce glare. Kagome returned it forcefully.

"If I may," Miroku stepped forward, "I was there, my lord Shogun. All Lady Kagome did was apply gentle pressure and a clotting agent. Sanada, I'm sure the wound felt fatal to _you_ , but I can assure you it was not." He shook his head pityingly, a smirk on his lips.

The crowd laughed, causing Sanada to turn crimson and splutter with rage.

"You don't understand!" he cried insistently, "Her hands - they glowed with a pink light, and suddenly my wound was healed! No one has power like that except - except _witches,_ or _demons!_ "

Kagome felt a twinge of fear grip her heart, but Miroku just burst into obnoxious laughter and doubled over on himself. Everyone else turned to gape at him with bewildered expressions.

"As you can see, my lords," he said through gasping breaths when he stood upright again, "We also had to give poor Sanada here some milk of the poppy. Evidently it was _too_ much if he's seeing glowing lights and witches and demons everywhere." He looked at Kagome then, a playful grin on his face. "Lady Kagome, we'll have to work some more on proper medicinal dosage. Can't be too careful nowadays, right?"

"Right." Kagome let the sheepish smile slide over her face and put on her best humbled look. "I'm sorry, Sanada. That had to have been confusing."

Sanada looked ready to explode. "Th-That's not what happened!" he protested, scanning the crowd behind him and reaching into the sea of people to yank someone forward by the arm. "She did it to this boy, too! Tell them, lad. Tell them what this _witch_ did to you!"

It was the boy, the one on the bloodstained battlefield in Ryusei whose gaping shoulder wound she had closed. He still looked rather pale and worn out, but he was alive and standing at least. And now he was staring right at her, a blank expression on his face.

 _Some reward for saving a life, huh? He's gonna rat you out in front of everyone._

 _Shut UP._

The boy sent a quick glance down at his working shoulder, and then his eyes were on Kagome's once more.

There was a silence that couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but so help her it felt like _hours._

"What do you mean, Sanada?" the boy said finally, "We were wounded and near death, and she patched us all up. I never saw any powers."

Tears threatened to prickle at the corner of her eyelids, but she fought them off and held herself steady as she smiled. The boy smiled back.

"Pssh," Sanada all but flung the boy back into the crowd, "All of you are fools, taken in by a pretty face! Is there no one here who will tell the _truth_ about what she is? Ask her where she learned to use this demon magic, then! It was probably from her _demon lover, Okada -_ "

"That's enough," Hojo said sternly, stepping forward and blocking Kagome's view of Sanada. "You levy all these vicious, slanderous accusations against my _wife_ \- " he was so incensed he didn't even seem to notice the slip-up, " - with no proof and no one willing to support your story. My lord Shogun, if you please, I ask that you have this man removed immediately. He's insulting Kagome and by extension insulting your own judgment."

The shogun sat there motionless, his hands clasped in front of him thoughtfully. "Yes, indeed, Lord Hojo," he said finally, "Guards, please escort - Sanada, was it? - out of these chambers for the remainder of the evening. Thank you."

When Sanada had been dragged back through the doors and all was quiet again, Kagome found herself once again under the shogun's penetrating gaze. He wasn't smiling anymore, but his voice was just as calm as it had always been.

"Captain Miroku," the shogun said, "I trust you'll take extra care to measure your herbal doses from now on, yes? To avoid such unpleasant rumors on Lady Kagome's behalf."

"O-Of course, my lord Shogun." Miroku was clearly relieved that his little gamble had actually paid off, that they weren't all currently being dragged to the executioner's block en masse.

"Now then, where were we? Ah, right. Lady Kagome, I am promoting you to the rank of General."

"Wh-What?" It was Kagome's turn for an outburst, it seemed. The rest of the room, with just a few exceptions, looked just as floored as she felt.

"And you will command your own garrison of troops. Your task will be to patrol all the villages and towns and keep the order on the home front. Your presence amongst the people will come to be a sign of hope, and you will…"

She was _trying_ to listen, really she was, but the inside of her skull seemed to be humming with sheer elation and disbelief as millions of thoughts swarmed around in her mind for attention.

 _A general?_ Me? _I don't know anything about commanding troops, or strategy, or -_

 _You'll learn. If I could do it while lying and betraying everyone, you can do it too._

She didn't even bother telling the voice to go away again. Smiling despite herself, Kagome relished in the resounding cheers that reached her ears moments later. This was a moment she wouldn't soon forget.

* * *

Naraku was distracted. Preoccupied with the little wolf girl who had escaped his clutches.

This might be her only opportunity.

Luckily the bastard had unchained her before he'd left the room.

Rubbing at the raw marks on her neck, Kagura let out a hiss of pain and gathered the skirts of her tattered, singed kimono. She half-walked, half-stumbled down the pitch-black hallway.

 _Just have to pray I don't run into Yura or another one of those sadistic bastards. Just a little farther._

And then she'd have to pray that the one she sought was in his room.

The imp, Jaken, was stationed outside as always, ever ready to be summoned. At the sight of her approaching in her disheveled state, he spluttered in surprise.

"Wh-What are you doing here?" He fixed her with a very distrustful eye.

"Is he inside?" Kagura felt her eyelids flutter closed. She was starting to fade.

"His Highness is asleep!" Jaken hissed. "You can't just - "

She shoved past him, threw the door open, leaned against the doorframe.

Sesshomaru was indeed laying in bed, but he'd clearly already heard her voice, because he was half-upright, propped up by his elbows. There was no outward expression on his face as usual, but those golden eyes of his were immediately fixed on hers, holding steady.

The first time they'd met eyes in months.

"Hello, my dearest," Kagura said, taking only one step forward before she felt the last of her strength give out. She braced for the impact of the floor.

A strong arm caught her beneath the ribcage, and she felt her cheek press into the warmth of a bare, muscled chest just as the world faded to black.

* * *

 ** _A THOUSAND THANKS TO THE WONDERFUL KEICHANZ FOR HELPING ME PLAN THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS OUT, AND A THOUSAND MORE TO MY BELOVED HINEZUMI WHO VOLUNTEERED TO BETA THIS CHAPTER. I am unworthy of your greatness and I adore you both so much._**

 ** _Poor Jaken. No one ever waits to be announced, do they? Jaken like "y am i even here :sadface: "_**

 ** _YAY KAGOME! I'M SURE THIS NEW TITLE OF HERS DOESN'T COME WITH ANY STRINGS ATTACHED RIGHT? RIGHT? *cries*_**

 ** _Sorry for the delay once more, you guys. I am not abandoning this story, as was suggested. I would venture the thought that many authors take MUCH, MUCH longer to update things than I do, and I promise, even when there's no new chapter uploaded, I AM writing it. And rewriting it. Constantly._**

 ** _In fact, this chapter has been edited because the original draft had way too much going on. I've got a lot of threads going here and the large battle is keeping things coherent while also maintaining my own sanity. Thank you guys for your patience, and thank you so much for loving this story so much. I am not worthy. :)_**

 ** _If you guys are ever curious about the status of a chapter, feel free to drop me a line on Tumblr, or just check my blog because I post status updates (also prayers for my own mental wellbeing LUL) all the time. I would love to hear from you! I don't bite, I promise. :D_**

 ** _THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING. Please let me know what you think. Catch y'all on the flipside! - meggz0rz_**


	26. Questions

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twenty-Six**

 **QUESTIONS**

* * *

 ** _SONG RECS!_**

 ** _"Scary World" by Night Club (this one's for pretty much all the girls hahaha)_**

 ** _"Flux" by Ellie Goulding (poor Kagome)_**

 ** _"Hypnotised" by Years and Years (for a very, ahem, particular scene. y'all will figure it out lol)_**

 ** _"Would I Lie to You?" (Kouga and Ayame ftw)_**

* * *

 _Nearly there,_ Kouga told himself. He kept his eyes on Ayame's lithe form as she bobbed and weaved through the thick forest brush, her speed quickening as the landscape grew ever more familiar to both of them. _Almost home._

He was proud of her. She was keeping pace, nearly as fast as he was, and Kouga's speed had been peerless among all the others for as long as he could remember. And once again, he found himself hating that he'd never noticed how strong and capable she'd become under his very nose.

 _Once we're in the den, I can talk to her. I can tell her...everything I need to. When we're in the den, we're safe. Jakotsu wouldn't be stupid enough to take us all on, not if he wants to keep his skin on his body._

He could still smell their pursuer, which meant that Ayame's intuition had been right and Naraku was truly out for her blood. But the densely packed trees were muting Jakotsu's scent, sending it everywhere and nowhere all at once. He had no real clue how close behind them Jakotsu was, and there was no time to check.

 _I just have to get her into the den,_ he told himself again. _And then I can turn and fight and be sure that she's safe._

Ayame suddenly stopped short, and Kouga skidded over the rough underbrush before colliding into her roughly. "Don't stop!" he cried, taking her by the shoulders, trying to push her forward. "Keep going!"

She resisted, her hand clutching at his forearm. "Kouga!" she whispered, her voice trembling in fright, "I don't smell them. I don't smell _anyone._ "

He sniffed the air. _We're within half a mile,_ he thought, his blood chilling in his veins, _The pack isn't in the den anymore. We should at least be able to smell..._ something…

"The den is empty," Ayame said, "They must have been spooked by something and evacuated." Her green eyes bored into his, wide and shining.

 _There's no one there._

 _No one there._

"Ayame," Kouga said, giving her a shove toward the distance of the cave, "Go. Put your back to the cave wall and keep your guard up. I'll hold him off. Tire him out."

"No."

"Do as I say," he growled, scanning the trees in every possible direction.

"You just said you weren't going to leave a member of the pack to die alone," Ayame said softly, dropping into a defensive crouch and going through the same searching motions that he was, "What does it say about me if I do the same?"

"Y-You don't understand," he hissed, nearly spitting in frustration as he took a step backward to where she was, fumbling for her without looking so he could try to push her to run again, "You almost just - I - _we_ almost lost you forever. You have to - "

"I have to stay right here," she said, just as defiantly, "by your side, Lord Kouga. As I always should be."

He couldn't help it, he had to send a fleeting glance over his shoulder. And she sat there, balanced on all four long and slender limbs, fierce and loyal and honest. The Ayame he'd seen by his side for all these years, the one he'd taken for granted until...until…

 _Until I lost her to him._

But she was here now and her claws were out, ready, and she was his pride and joy, staring up at him with a reassuring but determined smile on her face.

Kouga found in that moment that words failed him, so he could only give her a nod that agitated the sudden tightness in his throat, and they both turned their full attention once more to the forest ahead.

Waiting.

They didn't have to wait long before the tree trunks splintered and exploded all around them, and then the world became a tornado and they did their best to dance in it together.

* * *

"Three cheers for the Lady Kagome, our maiden of war!"

Kagome gave a weak smile, fighting back the embarrassment once more as she emerged once again through the doorway of the great hall.

After her battle with Ibushi, she had quickly been ushered back to her rooms by Miroku and Hojo, who had left her there in Sango's capable hands. She'd stumbled into her friend's arms and let herself cry a few hollow sobs of relief before the trio of determined handmaidens had once again burst through the doors, babbling about a feast to be given by the shogun in her honor.

It had all been a hazy dream as the girls had fussed over her once more, styling her hair and wrapping her up tightly in a dress kimono the color of sunlight, with flowers woven with thread that looked to be made of actual gold. It was the grandest outfit she'd ever worn, and the handmaidens skillfully sized it to fit her as they wove her obi around her waist.

Sango, of course, had once again been a little put-out when she realized the outfit had been sent by the shogun. "Like I said," she had said with a sniff, "it certainly seems he knew exactly how this was going to turn out from the very beginning. And he still put us through...all that."

Kagome hadn't replied, but she was going to try and see the positives here, just as Miroku had suggested. Yes, the shogun's actions were a little... _unusual_ , but perhaps that was just a marker of a man who wielded such ultimate authority. It had to give one a few quirks, right?

 _And at least there's one other bonus now,_ she thought, glancing over her shoulder at the girl behind her, a girl who was tugging uncomfortably at her tightly-cinched belt and seemed a little bewildered at the length of her new sleeves. _As a general, I can invite whomever I please to this feast. Female or not._

Sango was dressed in a lovely pale pink (another gift for Kagome from the shogun, naturally) and clearly even more out of her comfort zone than even Kagome was. Clearly feeling her gaze, Sango offered Kagome a quick, pained smile and took her outstretched hand, clinging to it for dear life, it seemed.

 _All the battles and hunts in the world, and_ this _scares her more than any of it._ And Kagome heartily agreed with her.

They walked closely together toward the head table, where the shogun and all the generals and their advisors sat. _The place of honor._

Sitting down at the table with all the grace she could muster and gently holding Sango steady so she could do the same despite the tight confines of the kimono, Kagome caught a glance at Miroku's face and suppressed a snort of laughter.

* * *

"Hold still," Sesshomaru said, holding a damp cloth in his right hand and gently gripping Kagura's wrist with his left. "This will likely sting a bit."

Kagura closed her eyes and nodded, feeling the coolness of the fabric dab at the corner of her weeping, bloody lip. She tasted the sake, then felt the searing burn as it hit her open wound, and all she could do was give a quiet shudder and fight to remain motionless.

"He's - he's lost his hold on the wolf female," she whispered when she was sure he was done cleaning her mouth and chin, keeping her eyes firmly shut even as she fumbled to splay a hand against Sesshomaru's bare chest for balance and reassurance. "She and her alpha - Kouga, right? - have fled the stronghold, probably for their own territory. He sent Jakotsu after them. Ordered him to kill them on sight."

There was no answer, no movement for a moment. He seemed to be thinking in silence, as usual. And then she felt the wet cloth gently dabbing at the wound at her neck, felt the sting again despite his featherlight touch. With a small hiss through her teeth, Kagura held still.

"I missed you so much," she said softly, feeling a tear prickling in her eye, though she couldn't accurately determine whether it was from pain or from emotion. "I'm so sorry I couldn't have warned you earlier - couldn't get free even though you were just a few hallways away - "

She felt the gentle scrape of his claws as he brushed her bangs off of her sweat-soaked forehead, and her eyes flew open to stare into his, inches from her own.

"That's enough of that talk," he said, brow furrowed sternly, "You have risked everything, your own life, and you feel the need to apologize?"

Kagura's lips curled into a weak smile, and the tear finally dropped to her cheekbone, trailing down her face. "It's my fault. Naraku sent me as liaison to recruit the panther tribe, and Touran wanted your hand in marriage in exchange for their help."

Sesshomaru's mouth tightened into an even more pronounced frown. "I would have refused her."

She trailed her hand up from his chest to his collarbone, fingers resting lightly in the crook of his neck. "I know, my dearest," she said, "but I overplayed my hand. I let my jealousy become obvious, and Naraku picked up on it. As he always does when I let my guard down." She exhaled, a frustrated sound despite the smile that she kept plastered on her face. "And we were so _careful_."

His thumb gently pressed into her cheek, wiping the tear away. "You have done nothing wrong, Kagura." The glowing gold of his eyes was almost overwhelming, even as his expression remained neutral as ever. "You have done more for our people, for _me_ , than I have ever dared ask of anyone else."

"It's your fault," she said with a trembling smirk, "I was brought here by Naraku to keep you distracted. I just never expected you to be as charming as you are, underneath it all."

"You would have left him eventually, with or without me," Sesshomaru said stiffly, "Your spirit is not one to be kept chained forever. Naraku would have realized that too late."

"He still has me under thrall," she said softly, "That hasn't changed. But he can't read my thoughts anymore. It took years for me to even get to _that_ point. And who knows if there will ever be a day when he's not...in my head. Sending his poison through my veins and his darkness through my thoughts. He _owns_ me, and that might never change - "

She gasped in surprise at the cold touch of the wet cloth again, this time disinfecting the wound on her left wrist. Sesshomaru lifted her hand in his own, concentrating silently on wiping away the blood from the angry, singed flesh.

Biting her lip, Kagura relaxed her shoulders and let him continue in silence. His long white hair hung around his bare shoulders. His arms, so strong and muscled and capable of such ferocious strength in battle, were tensed in a clear effort to remain as gentle as possible as the alcohol did its stinging, antiseptic work. When the wound on her left wrist was sufficiently cleaned, he turned his attentions to the right one, turning her palm upward to examine it when finished.

"The marks will fade," he said quietly, and then his eyes cut upward to bore into hers once more, and she knew the deeper meaning immediately and felt her chest quiver once with a soblike tremor.

She wanted to throw herself into his arms, but she held herself still. "Your brother," she whispered hesitantly, "You gave him over to Naraku. Why?"

It was a subject she knew most others would never dare breach, but she wasn't them. Sesshomaru was a wonderful, beautiful puzzle to her, and she would never tire of exploring the depths of that mind of his. And the brilliant thing of it was, he _allowed_ her to ask.

He gave a slow, even blink and with a smooth motion reached forward and wrapped an arm around her waist, his hand giving a slow stroke to her scantily-clad buttocks as he pulled her onto his lap.

"A-Another thing," she said quickly, averting her eyes from his as her pulse began to quicken, "Naraku's loss of the wolf girl left him _unhinged._ He's distracted right now. That's the only reason I was able to get away."

"So I gathered," Sesshomaru said evenly. His concentration now turned to the tattered, burned excuse for a yukata she had on, and he gently parted the front of her clothing and pulled it back from her shoulders, baring her breasts. He scanned her body quickly, seemingly checking for more wounds.

"If you're going to make a move to protect yourself," Kagura said, trying to keep a clear mind even as she felt herself shivering under his gaze, "You should do it now, Sesshomaru. Before he kills your alliance with the wolf clan and leaves you completely vulnerable."

"You're right," Sesshomaru said, tracing a thumb over her nipple as if transfixed, "Jaken!"

The door slid open with a flash and there the little green imp stood. Kagura quickly reached up to draw her robe closed again, feeling her cheeks flush with mortification.

 _Are you_ kidding _me right now, Sesshomaru? You're not even gonna give me any_ warning?

The kappa looked just as stunned to see the position they were in, and he cleared his throat awkwardly before bowing. "Yes, Your Highness?"

Sesshomaru didn't turn to face his servant, just looked at Kagura. _That's the closest that mouth has ever gotten to a smile,_ she thought, bewildered and entranced despite the embarrassment.

"Tell my guards," he said, "I want my brother removed from the dungeon immediately. Have him cleaned up and bring him to me."

Jaken looked flabbergasted, the little bastard. "M-Milord, he is still in Lord Naraku's custody, being punished for his appalling betrayal of Your Highness' trust - "

All it took was for Sesshomaru to snap his gaze toward Jaken, and it was with a frightened sound that the imp scurried away to do as he'd been told.

"Thank you for that," Kagura grumbled with a scowl, gesturing with her chin down at her naked chest, "If they weren't all talking before, they certainly will be now."

"Why should it matter if they do?" His tone was a simple, murmured question.

 _Of course_ you _aren't worried about it, and why would you be, no one's ever dared to be insubordinate to you in your life -_

"Sesshomaru," Kagura said with a sigh. She reached up haltingly to take his face in her hands and turn him back to face her, furrowing her brow in confusion at his complete calm, "What's going on?"

"I didn't know he had you here," Sesshomaru said, "That he was hiding your presence from me. But now that I do, we can make our move."

With a hesitant nod, Kagura moved to stand up from the bed. "Just tell me what I need to do," she said, ready to follow him to hell and back as always. Naraku would be furious; he would lash out at her from afar, make her hurt, make _everything_ hurt. _But it will be alright. I'll get through it. Especially with this man at my side._

But before she could disentangle herself from him, Sesshomaru's grip around her waist had tightened. "You need to stay here, in my bed, with me."

"Very funny," she said, gripping his shoulders and trying to squirm out of his grasp, "This is going to be a fight. A bloody one. We need to be ready."

"Agreed," he said, parting her yukata again, "We don't have much time."

"...Exactly." _What is he thinking -_

The arm that wasn't wrapped around her waist suddenly snaked between their bodies, and she felt his fingers inside her and she clenched in surprise, her lips parting in a heated moan. "Sesshomaru, dearest, we can't - not right _now_ \- "

"I haven't seen your face in months," he said, leaning forward and pressing his forehead into her bare collarbone, "Consider this my apology for all the pain you've endured for my sake."

His hold on her loosened and she gently fell backward onto the futon, arching around the delight, the wonderful relief and respite of his fingers within her. _Gods, I missed you so much,_ she thought, feeling a lump rise in her throat even as the ecstasy flooded between her legs.

Through all the pain, all the torture, she'd pictured his face in her mind, like a beacon of light to lead her through the darkness. And here he was, with her again, gazing down at her with those beautiful golden eyes, eyes that reassured her of everything she'd known to be true even as his face remained impassive as ever.

"There will be more you have to struggle through," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper, "but if you will trust in me and stay with me, I swear to you - "

Kagura smiled and reached upward, ghosting her hand across his sharp cheekbone. "I know."

He turned his face and kissed the tips of her fingers, eyes still staring unblinkingly into her own. And then he lowered himself over her and their lips met for the first time in an eternity, and she felt his fingers plunge even deeper within her and she groaned into the kiss, eyes threatening to roll backward in her head.

When the kiss ended, his mouth went to her throat, and then her chest, down to her stomach, ever lower, as her breath quickened and her skin flushed with perspiration and need.

"I will make it so you will never hurt again," he said, his voice low but tinged with a quiet determination.

 _I believe you, my dearest._

And then his tongue was inside her alongside his fingers, and she gazed, wide-eyed, at the ornate ceiling as her spine curled and she gave out a shuddering, gasping moan. "Sess - Sessho - "

She couldn't even complete the name as he gave a low, satisfied growl that she felt reverberating deep within herself.

"Please," she said finally, through a choked, dry throat, " _Please -_ "

The warm, wet tongue ceased its movement, and his face reappeared, his long hair draping over her bare chest in a tickling, caressing sensation. "Please _what?_ " he said, that aroused edge still in his voice. His fingers had remained inside her, and almost as punctuation for his knowing question, he wiggled them ever so softly.

 _Oh, GODS_ -

Kagura's hands fisted into the futon and she used what felt like the last of her strength to shove herself up onto her elbows so she could fumblingly kiss him again.

"Please," she whimpered, feeling his tongue trace the corners of her mouth and nearly falling back again in a faint, " _I need you to -_ "

"Say it," he growled under his breath.

" _Fuck me."_

* * *

"Stop it," Sango growled under her breath, and Miroku felt her elbow jut painfully into his side.

"Ow!" he cried, "Stop _what?_ "

Kagome, from her seat on Sango's other side and clearly a few glasses of sake deep, leaned forward to give him a mischievous glance before returning her attention to the others at the table, all of whom seemed to be clamoring for her attention.

"You're _staring_ at me," Sango said testily, "And it's making me feel like a piece of meat in front of all these - "

"Never a piece of meat, Sango," Miroku said, unable to keep the sly smile off his face, "A vision of loveliness. I can't help it. I _knew_ pink was your color."

Sango seemed to have no reply and just drained the last of her drink, her face shining red.

Miroku had another smooth line ready to go when Kagome interrupted by standing up from the table and taking Hojo's outstretched hand.

"I'm off for a walk," Kagome said loudly enough for all to hear over the commotion of the feast, "Good idea, Hojo. I could use the fresh air."

The respectful bows she received from the throng of men as she made her way toward the door were clearly affecting Sango as much as they were him, because there were obvious tears of gratitude shining in those lovely brown eyes next to him.

Just before she disappeared around the corner, her arm entwined with the young daimyo's, Kagome turned and gave the briefest glance over her shoulder.

And the war goddess in yellow, now all but worshipped by men who had doubted and spited her at every turn, gave Miroku a dazzling smile.

 _Did she wink? She_ did. _Kagome, I swear, you little -_

But Sango hadn't noticed it. Too busy refilling her cup of sake. The long sleeves were still giving her trouble, poor darling. He didn't blame her; court dress for women was an ornate affair around here, wasn't it?

Miroku gave a small chuckle under his breath as Sango, clearly fed up, rolled the sleeves over her elbows and carried on with a defiant eyebrow raised.

* * *

"Thanks for your help, Hojo," Kagome whispered, turning her face up to the chilly night breeze and taking a deep breath. "They need a little nudge in the right direction, and what better time than now?"

Hojo smile was just visible by the outdoor lanterns. "It is _such_ a relief," he said, leading her through the frosty courtyard at a leisurely pace, "to know that you're safe now."

Kagome shrugged. "Well," she said, "perhaps for the moment. But now I have troops to lead into battle, don't I? Might as well enjoy this small respite as much as I can. I'm sure there'll be no rest once we leave in a few days."

She felt his grip on her elbow tighten, not severely, but enough to make her stop and look at him.

"In just a few days?" Hojo looked crestfallen. "Wh-Where are you going?"

"Wherever the shogun orders, of course. With my new hand-selected garrison by my side." She couldn't help the proud smile to herself.

 _Look at you. Already planning your next move. I_ told _you not to doubt yourself._

Kagome's smile faded to a thin line, but she cast a quick glance to Hojo and was sure he hadn't noticed the abrupt souring of her expression. With an almost inaudible exhale, she bit into the side of her cheek. _I thought I was done hearing your voice in my head._

 _Oh, Kagome, don't you get it? I'm a part of you now. And I will be until you kill me, remember?_

"Kagome?" Hojo's blue eyes were blinking once, twice in concern. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," she said, flashing him a reassuring smile and shakily moving to run a hand through her hair, then remembering that it was up in about two dozen ornaments and therefore immobile.

Hojo, for his part, looked just as out-of-sorts as she did, but it was only when he took one of her hands in both of his own that she realized it was for an entirely different reason.

 _Or the same, exact reason._

 _Leave me alone._

"I have to say it once," Hojo said, "Just once, and then I swear, if you wish it I'll never bother you again. But my feelings for you are the same as they've always been, and if your only reason for breaking our engagement was fearing the shogun's disapproval, I think that matter has been put to rest."

She could only stand still and swallow the lump in her throat and hope he didn't realize that she was starting to shake.

Hojo stared straight into her eyes then, and he looked so _sweet_ and so enamoured and a thousand other things. "If you'd consider it," he said, "I'd still be honored to call you my wife, Lady Kagome. In truth, for all to see."

Kagome felt her lower lip tremble just a bit. "I - I - "

 _I can't do that to him. He's not right for me, and I'm not for him -_

 _Or is it just that I've ruined you for everyone else?_

As if she weren't the one doing it, she felt her eyes narrow with resolve. "I can't give you an answer now, Hojo. There are some things I have left unfinished, and until then, I will be no man's wife."

Hojo looked as if he'd halfway expected this answer, and gave a small smile, not unlike the one he'd given when she'd broken their engagement in the first place. "I think," he said softly, "you're worth waiting for, milady. Because I love you."

 _Words you never heard from me. And you_ still _can't answer him, can you? Because I'm still the only one you ever -_

"Lady Kagome."

They both turned to see none other than the shogun, flanked by his normal cascade of bodyguards. He had a wry smile on his face and his hands folded within his cloak. "Am I interrupting?"

Hojo turned a dark shade of pink. "O-Of course not, my Lord Shogun. I said what I set out to say." With a quick kiss to the back of Kagome's hand, he bowed deeply (to _both_ of them, Kagome noticed, even though he still far outranked her in social status) and took his leave back to the well-lit dining hall, where from the sound of it the feast was starting to die down.

"A kind man, Lord Hojo," the shogun said, thoughtfully watching Hojo's retreat. "A bit too kind for this world."

Kagome didn't quite know how to reply to this, so she just waited for him to speak again.

"Will you allow this old man just one intrusive question?" He smiled warmly, his dark blue eyes shining in the lamplight.

She gave a hesitant nod, lacing her fingers together beneath the magnificent gold of her dress. "Of course, my Lord Shogun. Anything."

"I wish to ask you about...Captain Okada, was it? Your commanding officer."

* * *

 ** _O shit. I know I say that every time but... o shit._**

 ** _Thank you guys for your patience. For those of you who weren't aware or don't follow me on Tumblr, my other story, "The It Couple," got stolen about a month or so ago and PUT FOR SALE ON AMAZON. UNDER SOME RANDO'S NAME. And they changed just a few words in the summary and the rest was all my writing, apparently lifted right from this site somehow. This person stole my work and put it up FOR SALE. Which, first of all, fanfiction should NEVER be sold and it was never my intention to present this as a commercial product. Secondly, I don't think I can quite put into words how violating that whole experience was, especially since the story actually reached the BESTSELLER LIST in its category before a bunch of my homies were able to convince Amazon to remove the listing. Needless to say, it burned me out quite a bit, but after some soul-searching I decided that I love writing fanfiction too much to quit right in the middle of this story._**

 ** _The Amazon issue has since been resolved so don't be too concerned for me on that front. I'm getting over it, slowly but surely. Just please understand that my life is at an all-time stress level right now and be patient with me in terms of updates._**

 ** _I hope this chapter was worth the wait for you guys! Please please let me know what you think, and your theories on what is going to happen next! (A few of you are way off and I'm so excited to surprise you, but at least one of you has a pretty good theory ;*)_**

 ** _Love you guys! And I know I say that every time, but especially after such a hellacious few months, I mean it from the depths of my soul._**

 ** _Thank you all for the unrelenting support. I wouldn't be here without y'all. - meggz0rz_**


	27. Screams

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twenty-Seven**

 **SCREAMS**

* * *

 _ **SONGS!**_

 _ **"Worship" by Years and Years (*wink*)**_

 _ **"Mouth" by Bush (for our poor darlin Kagome)**_

 _ **"As I Lay Me Down" by Sophie B. Hawkins (this ain't as sweet as it sounds...take a deep breath y'all)**_

* * *

"Aw, it's all gone," Sango groaned, peering into the bottom of the pitcher glumly. "We drank it all."

"Correction," Miroku said, placing a hand on her shoulder and patting gently, " _You_ drank it all."

"That's a shame."

"Isn't it?"

Sango's eyes were now on the crowded room. She peered around at the loud, boisterous men with barely-filtered distaste. "Well, now I'm bored. What else is there to do but sit here and get stared at like I'm some sort of freak of nature?"

 _I can think of a million other things,_ Miroku thought, his gaze drifting down to where her ornate dress kimono had fallen open just slightly, the profile of a single perfect breast just visible from his vantage point…

 _I don't know whether to praise Kagome to the high heavens or give her a good kick in the -_

Sango was looking at him now. Her eyes were upon his first, but ever so gradually they trailed down to the opening in her gown and back to him again.

 _Shit. Here we go. I'm about to get smacked into oblivion, aren't I?_

"There _you_ go," she said softly, sitting terrifyingly still, her open palms still splayed on the tabletop, "Being the worst of the bunch."

"Lady Sango, I - "

The front of his robes were suddenly seized by two small but ironlike fists and he gave a grunt of surprise as he was pulled forward so swiftly that his chin struck her right shoulder.

He was already wincing in anticipation of what would no doubt be a knee to the groin, and before he could stammer out an apology, she did something that nearly knocked him over for several other reasons.

With a small mewling in her throat, she turned her face to his neck and placed a gentle, chaste kiss over his pulse point. And oh, he just about lost it right then and there.

"S-Sango," he whispered, feeling his hands immediately settle to the curves where her tiny waist met her muscled, well-rounded hips, as if they _belonged there,_ had always belonged there, "You - you've had _a lot_ to - "

"And?" She murmured into the crook of his collarbone, causing a tingling, hot vibration up his spine. He squeezed her hips tighter, screwing his eyes shut and trying to ignore the increasing pressure in his lower regions.

"And - and there are rules about that sort of thing," he groaned out, fighting the urge to bite into her shoulder, "And we're in full view of the entire assembly - "

"I didn't think you were such a _gentleman_ , Miroku." She leaned back to give a small laugh, her cheeks red with the effects of sake and what looked to be clear arousal. "Not from the stories you've told us, I mean."

Miroku managed a pained half-smile , staring down at her until his blue eyes met with her brown ones. "You're different," he rasped, "Don't you know that?"

The smirk on her face faded slightly, and at first Miroku feared he'd said the wrong thing. But then she leaned her head upward, her body language silently asking, hesitant and open and so unbelievably goddamn beautiful.

 _Fuck it._ He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers in the middle of the crowded room with no doubt in his mind dozens of pairs of eyes watching, the dozens of lascivious chuckling confirming his suspicions .

 _Fuck them all._

Sango's lips felt just as he'd imagined, and the kiss was surprisingly pure and sweet despite the palpable heat in the air. He felt her hand reach up to cradle the curve of his jaw, and he answered by pulling her just a little closer, interlocking his fingers around her waist and reveling in the moment.

 _Finally._

"If you think it's the sake," Sango said softly when they parted, her lips still close enough to brush along the corners of his mouth and his chin, "Then you haven't been paying attention, priest."

Miroku could manage only single-word statements at this point. "Where?" was all he could mutter out cutting right to the chase.

The way she smiled mischievously and tucked a thumb under her chin as if thinking it over.

 _Gods, this woman._ Had anyone ever affected him this much? Ever?

"The guardhouse," she said softly, breaking him from his momentary reverie. "Should be deserted right now."

 _You don't have to tell_ me _twice._

They stood, straightened out their clothes, and pointedly ignored the snickering of the crowd as they walked at a steady pace out the door, keeping a good distance apart. Miroku, of course, couldn't resist giving a small shrug at the whispers, and of course he couldn't keep the dumb grin off his face, but that was neither here nor there.

They left the banquet hall and continued down the covered outdoor hallway, still maintaining their physical separation all the while. Miroku watched her walk as she clearly tried to maintain a dignified pose. However, she still struggled with the volume of her skirts and her sleeves, and Miroku fought back a smile as he felt his heart swell in his chest.

Was this really happening? Was he actually going to get to - to do what he'd dreamt of for countless nights, ever since he'd seen that gorgeous, fierce young woman throwing herself over an impossibly tall village wall like it was nothing?

As if she knew where his thoughts lay, she turned and looked over her shoulder as she stopped walking. They were alone now, flanked by nothing but torchlight and the dark, silent night beyond the railings.

Miroku stopped as well once he reached her. It was with a tentative, slow movement when he reached out his hand and let his fingertips ghost over the side of her lovely face, trailing through the fall of her long dark hair. She visibly shivered, but didn't pull away. Instead, she stepped even closer, eyes heavy-lidded and full of longing.

It wasn't ten seconds further before they virtually _leapt_ into each other's embrace, hard enough for them to both grunt (or were those moans?) as a result. Now that the first kiss had taken place, it seemed that they needed to make up for lost time. Their mouths met once again in a fiery, desperate exchange, gasping for air. He felt one of her hands snake upward around the back of his neck as his own arms curved beneath her legs and lifted her up to hold her flush against him.

"I can feel you," she murmured, her tone excited as well as fascinated as she grinded herself into him. Her free arm, the one that wasn't holding herself up, slid between their bodies to deepen the physical connection. He felt her fingertips trail over him, felt a brief, blissful grip around his length.

"Sango," was all Miroku could choke out before wildly kissing her again, stumbling under the weight of both of their bodies as he dragged himself further down the corridor, toward the deserted, dark guard barracks. He gripped the back of her thighs, so firm and strong and capable of such deadly force as she broke their kiss to focus that beautiful mouth of hers on his neck and collarbone once more.

"W-Wait," he said, pressing his back to the door of the guardhouse and fumbling for the door, "I can't - hold on, I'm trying to - "

Devilish woman that she was, she just nibbled at his earlobe and gave a breathy moan. It was a miracle from the gods above that he finally managed to balance them properly so he could find the door and slide it open.

The room was pitch black and deserted, as they'd expected, and he supposed they could have fumbled around for a disused bedroll, but that notion quickly evaporated when he realized that Sango was already pulling him downward straight onto the floor.

 _This was not how I pictured our first night together,_ he thought, fighting back a bemused chuckle as he settled onto his knees above her prone form. He watched her with a sort of frantic speed as she unfastened his arm guards and tossed them behind her with a heavy clang. His shoulder pauldrons and breastplate followed shortly thereafter, and she was just starting to untie his ceremonial sword and all the rest of it when she stopped and sat back, looking very much out of breath.

"Are you alright?" he asked, taking her face in his hands and leaning in for a slower, more gentle kiss this time.

"Yes," she said, looking a bit flustered, "but will you - can you get me _out_ of this thing?" She held out her billowing sleeves and gestured with her chin at the tightly cinched obi.

He couldn't help it. He laughed, pressing his forehead into her shoulder as he moved his hands to do as she asked. Sango stood on clearly shaky legs and did a few awkward twirls to unwrap the long, silken belt before sighing with obvious relief as it fell to the floor.

"Thank you," she said with a warm smile as she fell back to her knees again in front of him, "You have no idea how tight that was - _oh._ "

Miroku being Miroku, of course, had immediately set about gently peeling her ornate dress kimono back from her shoulders, revealing yet another one just underneath. A lighter one, yes, but still something she'd have worn as a single layer anytime before.

"No _wonder_ you were so uncomfortable," he said, giving her his slyest grin.

"You have no idea," she mumbled, looking a little self-conscious, "I don't even think I ever _owned_ this many dresses at once, let alone wore them all at the same time…" She trailed off as she seemed to realize that he was making easy work of discarding the inner kimono as well, and with a quiet expulsion of breath he removed both of the heavy layers at once, tossing them into the quickly-growing pile behind them.

A thin white yukata was all that remained, and through it Miroku was delighted to find that he could see two pert, pink nipples showing through.

Sango clearly saw him looking, just as she had before, and she gave a small triumphant smirk as she flung the yukata open and let it drop to the floor.

Before he could do anything else, she had thrown herself once again into his arms, tangling her fingers in his hair.

He wanted to make this last, to savor the moment. He really did.

But as she shoved him to the floor with an animalistic growl and straddled those long, muscular legs around his hips, fumbling for him and starting to slide him inside of her, he could only lay back and let his mind go blank.

He was pretty sure the smile never left his face.

* * *

He heard the heavy door unbolt, heard footsteps lightly pattering across the stone floor.

But he couldn't move, couldn't see. His right arm was properly useless, his eyes crusted shut with blood and sweat and whatever else.

The footsteps stopped next to where he was, but he couldn't see the feet or even get a scent reading. _Too much blood_ , he thought, almost amused at the notion.

"I hope you've learned your lesson, half-breed."

 _Jaken. Of course._

Inuyasha growled and gave a half-hearted swipe in the direction of the voice with his working arm. The hair was still doing its job, so he didn't get anywhere close, and he heard the imp give a triumphant little scoff.

Suddenly, for the first time in what felt like forever, he felt the pressure on his arms and shoulders release. Soon after, a wave of numbness flooded through his previously restrained limbs and was followed just as swiftly by an insistent, searing pain..

There was no strength in his legs.

Falling to the floor, Inuyasha felt the crack of his skull against the polished rock floor, before mercifully going back to sleep.

* * *

Kagome froze for only a moment, but could tell from the knowing glint in the shogun's eyes that it was all over. That he knew. He knew _everything._

"Y-Yes, my Lord Shogun?" she stammered, trying to recover but _dammit my hands won't stop shaking -_

"Guards," the shogun said, his eyes never breaking contact from her face, "Leave us for a moment."

Immediately the men sprang to do his bidding and made themselves scarce.

"Shall we take a walk, Lady Kagome? Outside the gates and away from prying eyes?" The old man held out his arm in a delicate gesture, his long sleeve billowing slightly in the chilled breeze.

"My Lord," Kagome said hesitantly, once again completely caught off guard. "Are you sure that's wise, with all that's going on outside - "

"I assure you, my dear. I may be getting on in years, but I didn't attain this throne through quiet diplomacy. And besides, I have one of the greatest warriors our kingdom has ever seen to watch over me." He winked.

The bright golden thread in Kagome's sleeves shimmered as she slowly extended her arm to interlock with the old man's She forced herself to stare at her sleeve where it connected with the Shogun's. She needed to try and center herself. To focus. To remain calm.

Outside the gates, the night was just as quiet as it was within; the stillness of the snow-dusted trees made for a lovely picture in the growing darkness. It would be spring soon, Kagome thought, letting her mind drift for a blessed moment.

Four months. Was that really all it had been?

Four months since she'd run away from her family and her home in the dead of night to join a war she'd known almost nothing about? Four months since she'd been discovered almost immediately and unwittingly struck a devil's bargain with a man - _not a man,_ she corrected herself, _a monster -_ who she should have never come close to just to keep her secret safe?

" _If someone else catches you, you're on your own. I'll deny any knowledge of it."_

" _Going to end this war by yourself, then, are you?"_

" _Just once."_

" _I'm not a good man, Kagome. But I wish I was. For you."_

" _I think this life suits you much better."_

" _You little idiot. Don't you ever scare me like that again."_

" _What if I told you I'm here to make sure this war ends, but not the way_ you _want it to?"_

Four months, and she felt as if she'd lived three lifetimes since.

The shogun's voice jerked her out of her reverie, and she couldn't help the shuddering sob under her breath.

"Was I correct in my assumption," the great man said softly, keeping a gentle hold around her arm, "that you and this - Okada - were closer than, say, comrades in war?"

Kagome knew the fear had to be written all over her expression as she looked helplessly up into the shogun's high-cheekboned, aristocratic old face.

"He knew your true identity," the shogun continued, seemingly unconcerned with waiting for confirmation from her end at all. "And that no doubt fostered a deeper bond, I'm sure. Were you lovers?"

She flinched, feeling the tears prickling in the corners of her eyes.

"Does your fiance know?"

With a shaky breath, she shook her head slightly.

"Good. I wouldn't tell him. Revelations like that have a way of destroying one's reputation, even for a child as beloved as you."

"I - I don't - " What could she even say? Her breath came in tiny gasps, every exhale producing a tiny cloud in the freezing air.

"Your miko powers," the shogun said quickly, his tone growing a bit sterner, more urgent, "They manifested after you laid with him the first time, didn't they?"

"My - my _what -_ " Before she could finish the question, it all hit her with the force of a hammer blow.

"My dear girl," she could vaguely hear the shogun saying, but his voice sounded... _muted, distant_ , as if she'd dunked her head underwater, "Sanada's outburst was rude and uncalled for, but he described the powers of a miko most accurately, fool that he is."

 _After...it was after Okada and I...it was because he was a youkai the whole time...that's why I can do these..._ things _...why I can heal myself and others...it's because of him, isn't it? Because he wasn't human and I didn't know that and I stupidly so stupidly -_

"Those powers, they're killing you my child." The shogun's face was serious, and there was a hatred behind his eyes she'd never seen before. Somehow, though, she knew it wasn't hatred for _her,_ no, it was hatred for...for…

" _Killing_ me?" She knew her grip around his arm was tightening, but she was too terrified to stop, and for his part the shogun seemed to give no notice or care about it.

"What did you think those black marks were?"

Kagome felt her knees starting to buckle as the images flashed in her mind:

The spiraling vines of ebony bruises that appeared every time she healed.

The shock on the faces of everyone who witnessed them.

Miroku's voice, whispering and dark with worry.

" _This looks almost_ necrotic. _Like your flesh is_ rotting away."

"You're poisoned, Lady Kagome. It will sap your life force every time you use those unholy powers. A few days, a few weeks, a few months, who can say. All robbed from your lifespan each time."

She felt dizzy. Lightheaded.

"That's the price of fraternizing with a beast."

She felt the hot bile rising in her throat and was only just able to disentangle her arm from the shogun's in time to double over and send a sputtering flood of vomit onto the snowbank at her feet. She was choking, she realized, as she dropped heavily to her knees. She clawed helplessly at her throat until she was able to throw up again, and then she dug her bare fists into the icy grass and gripped tightly to keep herself from pitching forward in what would surely be a dead faint.

"How do you - " Kagome said hoarsely, staring with dazed eyes back up at the stately man next to her. He seemed quite unsurprised at the violence of her reaction. "How do you know this?"

The shogun pulled the hem of his court robes away from the spreading puddle of steaming vomit with a delicate tug. "Mikos were once quite numerous, my child. They called themselves healers, witches even, and there was a time when you could find one in every village." He paused, turning his gaze out to the treeline with those dark blue eyes of steel. "That was, until it was discovered just what they were and how they'd gotten their powers."

She felt her throat spasm again, but there was nothing left, nothing to expel. She gave a shuddering groan.

"I didn't know - " she stammered, swaying a little, her eyes fluttering closed just once, "Please believe me, my Lord Shogun, I didn't _know_ who he - what he was." The last word sent her into a coughing fit that seared her throat like flames.

"Raped by demons, all of them," the shogun continued, "Or coerced into being their filthy concubines. The circumstances varied. But the enchantments of youkai are strong. And when given the opportunity to relieve their curses, almost none of the women took the offer."

 _There's a way to relieve it. There's a way to end it. Whatever I have to do, what_ ever _I have to do, I'll do it. I'll do whatever it takes -_

"Which brings me to my next question." He turned again to face her, hands folded in his robes, expression deadly serious. "If I tell you how to lift your curse, will you do it?"

"Y-Yes, of course," she said pleadingly from her crouched position in the snow at his feet. "Of _course_ , my Lord Shogun. Please."

"You may find it difficult," he said softly, his mouth a thin line hiding that quiet rage that simmered around the edges of his voice like fiery embers, "You may even delude yourself into thinking that the powers are a worthy benefit despite the cost. But what you can do - what your powers _represent_ \- are not something I can tolerate. Not anymore."

* * *

"We should probably get dressed and make ourselves scarce," Miroku said, smiling dreamily up at Sango. His hands gently encircled her wrists. "The first stragglers back from the feast will probably stumble in here any minute."

Sango, from her position straddling his lap, smiled back at him and leaned down for a slow, erotic, sweat-drenched kiss. "You're probably right," she whispered against his lips, knowing how glum she likely sounded. She wanted to remain, to lay in his arms and savor the moment, to sing praises of love within her own heart and know that his thoughts were no doubt on the same lines. But they'd chosen the place for its immediate convenience, not its assistance in post-coital bliss.

With an exaggerated groan, she rolled off onto the floor next to Miroku, letting her head fall to rest in the crook of his shoulder for the briefest of moments and closing her eyes.

"I mean," he said, leaning over to kiss the crown of her head, " _I_ certainly don't mind giving them a fun little show, but now that I've finally seen you naked and it's just as perfect and awe-inspiring as I imagined, I kinda want to keep this lovely secret to myself for just a bit longer."

She felt the burn in her cheeks and reached across to slug him in his opposite shoulder. He grunted in response, but the dopey smile never left his face.

"Perhaps I can sneak you into Kagome's chambers." She turned to face him, curling her long bare leg over his and snuggling in closer to his side. "She practically threw us at each other earlier, didn't she? I'm sure she wouldn't care too much."

He let out a quiet laugh and slipped a hand around her bare waist, then trailed it down to give a generous squeeze to the junction between her bottom and the back of her thigh. "I appreciate Kagome's matchmaking," he said, staring up at the darkened ceiling tiles, "but that would be an _awful_ way to repay her, wouldn't it? If you and I went through all those... _other_ positions I'm always talking about, with poor, sweet Kagome trying to sleep just feet away - "

She slapped a hand over his mouth, effectively interrupting him before dissolving into a myriad of quiet giggles. "Point taken!"

It was with mutual sighs of resignation that they sat up together and began littering through the pile of their discarded clothes. They had both just fastened their inner robes in between smiling kisses when they heard it.

They stopped short, the smiles wiped from their mouths.

Sango had heard it once before; as she'd been watching over an exhausted Kagome and fighting off sleep herself.

 _A scream._ Of terror? Anguish? Abandon? She wasn't sure.

"Wh-What the - " Miroku turned his head toward the sound, stumbling slightly in the darkness.

"Shh!" Sango held up a hand, and they stood in silence, ears perked, just listening and waiting.

It sounded again, this time followed by a few gasps of laughter that didn't sound at all joyous, and Sango felt her blood ice over in her veins.

"It's coming from...just down the hall," she whispered, drawing her yukata tighter and bounding out the door before Miroku could say anything in reply.

* * *

"It's a curse from the gods, you see," the shogun said as he watched Kagome struggle back up to her feet. "A sign that we as humankind cannot expect to thrive with the blight of the demonic monsters lurking in the shadows. They hunt us down like dogs. They eat our children, and they rape and brutalize our women, poisoning their minds forever."

It was the most unhinged and horrifying the shogun had ever looked, his lip curled back to reveal his bared white teeth, as he seemed to struggle to compose himself.

 _A man who never loses face, and here he is, practically aflame with rage,_ Kagome thought, clutching at her own shoulders with frozen hands. She couldn't say anything, could only stand there, transfixed and more frightened than she'd ever been in her life.

"The gods know," he said, eyes wild and bright and almost black as he glared at her, no _,_ glared _through_ her, "They know it's an abomination. They know the time of the youkai is done, and that civility and peace is the way of the future."

Kagome gave a frantic nod, showing her agreement, showing that she was not an enemy, would _never_ be an enemy to her own kind.

 _I'm probably reassuring myself more than anything._

"That's why they don't produce children, these - _alliances_ ," the shogun growled, gesturing wildly at the emphasized word, "And if they do, the children don't live. Can't live. Can't thrive. Not for long."

Kagome's fingers dug further into her shoulders and she hugged her arms inward even tighter. There was a crick in her spine as he spoke, like the point of a knife, the tip of a sword. There was something wrong, something very very wrong.

 _And it's probably me._

 _Is it?_ Replied the inner voice that wasn't hers.

At the sound of it, she felt the urge to dry heave again but suppressed it, digging her chin down into her own collarbone instead and screwing her eyes shut with a trembling breath.

 _Poisoned, I'm_ poisoned, _he did this to me, he_ knew _it was wrong and he_ knew _who he was and he_ still -

There was the cold touch of long slender fingers suddenly under her chin, forcing her to look upward. The shogun stood there, more unkempt and more _fallible_ than he'd ever seemed before.

His aged eyes bored into her own; dark blue, almost black in the darkness.

* * *

"Sango, wait!"

She snuck along the darkened wall, felt Miroku's hand close over her wrist, but just pulled him along without looking back.

"I heard it yesterday," she muttered, unsure if she was talking to him or just puzzling it out for herself, "I thought I was imagining it, but - "

They heard footsteps coming from the hallway intersection, and they both stopped still, far enough from the torch sconces to not be immediately visible.

The steps came from an elderly maidservant, tall and distinguished, with a pinched, annoyed expression. She appeared in the middle corridor, but much to Sango's relief she took no notice of the shadows in the corner and just continued briskly down the right path, stopping at a door at the very end of the darkened hallway.

"Momoko!" the old bag said sharply. The door slid open to reveal a very disheveled younger woman wearing an identical uniform. "You were under strict instructions to give our Lady Princess her milk of the poppy at an hourly interval. Shall I inform our Lord Shogun that you are incapable of following such a simple task?"

The one named Momoko looked shaken and terrified as she stammered out a reply. "I - I'm so sorry, madam, I must have just missed her dose by a few minutes! I swear it won't happen again!"

"That's for certain," the older woman snarled, elbowing past Momoko into the room beyond.

Another scream, this one tinged with fear and rage.

Sango leaned forward to listen closer. There was the pattering, slapping noise of bare feet against the floor, a crash of what sounded like pottery shattering, and a collection of grunts and growls that indicated some sort of scuffle.

She felt Miroku's hand close over her shoulder, once again trying to pull her back and away from whatever it was. She resisted but covered his hand with hers, lacing her fingers between his larger ones and squeezing tightly.

There was one last scream, but it was more the sound of a keening animal than a human. And then, just as quickly as it had started, the noise died down and all was quiet. The elder maid reappeared through the door and bolted it shut behind her. She gave a dignified pat at her now-loosened hairstyle and gave Momoko a look of silent reproach as she took the poor, confused-looking girl firmly by the shoulders and herded her bodily down the hallway from whence she'd come.

The room was quiet and dark now, leaving the corridor deserted once again. As if nothing had ever happened.

Before she could think to stop herself, Sango had leapt forward, sprinting into the darkness with the practiced speed and silence of her Taijiya training before halting in front of the door.

"Sango, _no!_ " Miroku had remained at their original position, and he was wildly beckoning her back, shaking his head.

 _Whatever it is, I can handle it,_ Sango thought stubbornly, _but I have to know whose screams these are. Princess, the old biddy had said._ What _princess?_

WIth a firm bite down on her lower lip, she unbolted the lock and slid the door open just a crack as silently as possible.

There was a single lantern in the room, hanging high upon the ceiling and well out of reach. The light it gave was so meager that Sango had to blink a few times so that her eyes could adjust.

There was a soft and gentle humming suddenly, right on Sango's left near the wall, and she jumped back ever so slightly as she turned to face it, squinting to see what it was.

She was met with a tangled nest of black hair, hanging longer than Sango had ever seen hair grow before. It puddled at the ground near her feet, and she took another step back, feeling her breath catch in her throat.

The doorway was darkened again, but it was only Miroku. He'd first moved to pull Sango back out into the hallway, but stopped as he too caught sight of the horror she was witnessing.

The hair framed a white face, pale as a skull, that slowly raised its eyes to blink up at them with mild interest. The lips were red as blood - _oh, gods, that_ is _blood, she's bitten her tongue or something_ \- and never stopped humming as the corners of the mouth curled into a blissful-looking grin.

"S-Sorry." Miroku was the first to find his voice, and he seized Sango's arm with vicelike strength. It seemed it was more out of his own terror, though, than any act of perturbing Sango. "We should never have intruded, my lady. We - we were just concerned that you might be in distress. We'll be going now, immediately."

"Have you seen him?" The blood dripped from the mouth with every word.

They both froze, and cast a single wide-eyed glance to each other, too shocked to even dare reply.

"He's a king," the gaunt, naked woman said, drawing her hair around herself and running her hands up and down her arms, "And I'm his queen. And our son, oh our beloved baby son…"

She trailed off, smiling blankly up at the ceiling as she stood up, revealing an almost skeletal form. "Look," she said softly, pointing to her own stomach, indicating a jagged blue scar just above the black trail of her pubic hair, "That was our son. Our precious baby boy. He's a prince and I'm a queen. The queen of everything. That was what he promised me."

Feeling a little weak and a little sick, Sango took a step toward Miroku, found his hand in the darkness and squeezed it for comfort.

"Time for sleep now," the woman said, but not to the pair huddled by the doorframe, to someone else. The woman curled her hair around herself again and seated herself on the floor, hugging her legs to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. "I'll sing you a lullaby - "

* * *

The grip on her chin wasn't gentle, but Kagome knew it wasn't meant to be.

The shogun leaned in closer, so close that the clouds of his breath rose like steam into her face.

"I won't let what happened to my daughter happen to another soul."

* * *

" - my beloved little Inuyasha."

* * *

 _ ***sips tea* I uh...I...well *sips more tea, puts on sunglasses***_

 _ **LOVE Y'ALL!**_

 _ **Curious and frightened to hear your reactions!**_

 _ **Thanks as always to hi-nezumi-no-kawagoromo (hinezumi on tumblr), without whom this story would be a rambling mess of my own inner demons. IF ANY OF YOU NEED A BETA FOR YOUR WORK HIT HER UP, SHE'S ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC AND SHE TAKES SUCH SPECIAL CARE WITH THIS STORY AND EVERY ONE SHE TOUCHES. Love you Hine!**_

 _ **See y'all next chapter, my loves. - meggz0rz**_


	28. Blades

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twenty-Eight**

 **BLADES**

* * *

 **CONTENT WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER - GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND DESPAIR. SORRY NOT SORRY.**

* * *

 _ **SONGS!**_

 _ **"Never See the Light" by Devilskin (I usually think of this as a Sango theme, but this perfectly sums up Kagome's decision/actions in this chapter so hey whatevs)**_

 _ **"War?" by System of a Down (Had to rep my bois here. IS EVERYONE READY TO GET THEIR SHIT FUCKED UP YET)**_

 _ **"Hail the Apocalypse" by Avatar ("Time to die, hammer high, name your price, and KNEEEEEEL, HAIL THE APOCALYPSE!" Speaks for itself I think)**_

* * *

"Your - your - " Kagome stuttered, shock halting her speech. The shogun had yet to remove his ironlike grip from her chin. Feeling as if she was on the verge of tears, she stared wide-eyed at the shogun, her crystalline blue eyes meeting his aged indigo ones.

"Raped and enthralled. My daughter's mind and body were stolen completely, leaving her a shell. An empty and hollow shell." The shogun's face was drawn into a screwed-up grimace of fury. "We cured her ailment, of course. It took all my strength as a man, as a loving _father_ , to go through with the task. But even then, we were too late. She was never the same after that. A demon's seed is poison in the veins."

"Then is it too late?" Kagome whispered, forgetting any and all propriety as she reached up to clutch at the great man's ornate sleeves, her eyes pleading up at him as if she were a small child. "For me?"

"Who can say, my lady?" The shogun's tone was sympathetic, but the countenance, the thin line of his mouth, the drawn tightness of his cheekbones, was decidedly not. " If your heart is strong, if your love for your family and friends runs true, you may yet succeed."

The process he went on to describe was nearly exactly what Kagome had expected. But hearing the words, the actual words, out loud and frankly spoken, still caused her to flinch. Only for a moment, though. Even while her blood froze fearfully in her veins, there was a spark of rage and revenge that ignited somewhere behind her ribcage and spread its flame through her gut.

"You know you must leave tonight. From here, right at this moment. I will have one of my most loyal servants retrieve your horse, armor, and weapons, and bring them out here to you. The servant in question is mute, which brings me to my next order - you can tell no one of your mission or your goal. This is a very delicate matter. The men will not understand, no matter how strong their love and adoration for you."

"I can't - " Kagome's voice was scratchy, creaky, and she cleared her throat and struggled to continue, "I can't even say goodbye? To my - "

Those dark indigo eyes narrowed at her dispassionately, the lines around them suddenly seeming as hard as folded steel once again. "You will tell _no one_ , Lady Kagome. In fact, you will not gain re-entry to my castle until your task is complete. I cannot risk the safety of my people, whether physically or spiritually. You must understand."

"Y-Yes, my Lord Shogun. But I - I don't even know where to begin," Kagome said shakily, tears prickling in her eyes but not falling, "Which way to go."

"West, my lady. When searching for a monster, west is always the direction to begin with."

The great man gave her a gently sympathetic smile, as if to reassure her. The shogun traced his long fingers just once more along the curve of her tear-stained jawline before returning his arms to his sleeves. "Wait here for just a moment. My servant will be along shortly to bring you your horse and supplies."

Kagome closed her eyes and nodded, barely able to keep her balance as she bowed to him. She heard him turn toward the direction of the gate and take a few steps. But then the crunch of the snow stopped and the shogun spoke one last time.

"This will be the hardest mission of your life, my darling girl. You will be tempted to just accept your fate, to avoid the hard truth of your predicament. But you must go through with it. For the sake of your friends, for the honor of your family. You are _bushi_ , and with that code of honor must also come sacrifice. Take strength in yourself and know that you are doing the right thing."

Another silent nod was all she could manage as she watched the shogun's towering, dignified form shrink into the distance and disappear back through the open wall.

With only the glow of the moon and the distant winks of torches for company now, Kagome gave a shuddering cry and sank to her knees, her golden robes fanning out in a decadent bloom on the snowbank behind her. She buried her face in her hands, her body trembling with sobs. But no tears came forth. It seemed she had finally run out.

And once again, she heard that voice in her head.

" _See you soon."_

She raked the tips of her short fingernails down her cheeks. The pain was sharp but she relished it and used it to muffle the cacophony of responding sounds in her head: the snarls of feral rage, the wails of despair, the screams of fear, the whimpers of doubt...the small, indecipherable mewlings of soul-crushing grief. Grief not for what _had_ happened, but what _must_ happen.

That grief was traitorous, Kagome knew.

Luckily it was the smallest, meekest noise in her mind and the most easily drowned out. She felt a warm trickle down her cheek and knew it was blood, and the sob that came out of her throat next was nearly a laugh. Just a few hours ago she'd have healed it with nary a second thought.

 _Because I was_ stupid _, so_ stupid, _and in my stupidity I just accepted this horrific unnatural ability without having the sense to realize I'm a living abomination against the gods._ Humans weren't supposed to heal; they were supposed to bleed and bruise and live and die and marry and have children and -

Kagome brushed the back of her hand against her scratched cheek and stared down at the dark smear against the pale of her skin.

In the meager light of the cloud-covered moon, the blood appeared black. Corrupted. Tainted.

* * *

Ayame gave a constricted gasp for air as she kept to her crouching position on all fours. Scrambling all four of her limbs left, right, forward, back, she danced a desperate dance of evasion against Jakotsu's attacks. She was tired and getting dizzy. Her muscles screamed at the tension she held in all of them so acutely. But to relax, to stop moving and ducking and flinching back in a different direction every second, would be to accept a sharp, swift death.

A moment of rest wasn't worth saying a final farewell through a mouthful of gurgling blood.

 _At least not yet._ The grim thought snuck through the white-hot blur of her concentrating brain, echoed once, and left again. _We'll see how a few more minutes, a few more_ hours _of this goes. There's no sign Jakotsu will ever ease up._

Kouga had warned her Jakotsu as an opponent was not to be underestimated. And he was absolutely right.

The whirl of dozens upon dozens of blades flashing through the air all at once was deafening to her sensitive ears. It was all she could do to keep herself centered, to keep _concentrating_ on dodging each deadly sharp edge one by one and over and over again.

To her left, Kouga was doing the same thing. He was unable to move too far in any significant direction and was clearly trying to conserve motion and energy as much as he could. But behind that cold focus on his face, Ayame could read the fear and doubt in his icy-blue eyes. They couldn't keep this up forever, she was sure he was thinking. They would tire, slip up, leave just one opening, and it would all be over. They would be cut to ribbons and all the youkai healing speed in the world wouldn't be able to save them because Jakotsu's blades would just _keep going, keep going forever_ and there was no way out…

A peal of amused laughter rang from the splintered tree branches above their heads and without a second thought Ayame sent a glare towards the sound's source. Jakotsu was lounging casually against the tree trunk and taking great pains to smooth out the wrinkles in his silken kimono.

 _He's not even remotely concerned about us. Not out here in the open. I should have listened to Lord Kouga and retreated into the empty den; at least there I'd be able to try a different approach while Jakotsu was distracted. But no, I had to be stubborn and foolish as always and now Lord Kouga has to worry about me_ as well as _himself. I always do this I'm always a burden -_

"How the hell do you expect to get away with this, _Jakotsu?_ " Kouga snarled, breaking Ayame from her reverie. The minute wince of pain that crossed his features when a blade edge grazed his forearm, the way his voice broke slightly as he said their attacker's name...it was enough to make Ayame want to scream with anguish and rage. "Prince Sesshomaru will hear about this and he'll _kill you_. He'll kill you and Naraku and all the rest of your sick group of - "

"I wouldn't worry about us, handsome," Jakotsu said with a coquettish wiggle of his fingers. "Just between us friends, Prince Sesshomaru is about to have a very rude awakening. Naraku is going to teach that brat what the _true_ power of a youkai lord should be. A _true_ leader who knows all and who loves all. Doesn't it sound just... _tantalizing?_ "

"Naraku loves _nothing_ ," Ayame snarled, fighting to keep her voice heard over the metallic hurricane of swinging blades surrounding her. "He wants death. He wants chaos!"

"How you've misjudged our lord, little wolf-girl. Lord Naraku loved you with all the ferocity of a god, as only Lord Naraku can." Jakotsu shook his head in exaggerated sadness. "Lord Naraku's love is what binds us all together, what fuels us, makes us stronger. And you rejected him like a spoiled child who rejects a toy."

Ayame would have shivered in disgust if her body weren't completely otherwise occupied in trying to evade the blade strikes.

"He would have loved and adored you forevermore," Jakotsu continued with a wistful, sympathetic sigh, "He loves you even _now_ , wolf-girl. He mourns your loss. I hear him even now. I _know_ him the same way I know myself. Right now, _you_ are the center of his great and adoring thoughts. He was angry, but now, in the end, he is willing to forgive you."

Jakotsu placed his chin in his hand and looked through the tornado of sharp edges to gaze at Ayame with mild interest. A gleeful smile tugged at the corners of his painted lips. "You do know," he said to her, as if he were sharing secret gossip and as if Kouga were unable to hear him, "that it'll never get better than it was when you were his, don't you?"

"Shut up!" Ayame growled.

"You know it's true," Jakotsu said with a flirtatious wink as he reclined back further against the tree trunk and placed a hand gently over his own heart, "Every other feeling pales in comparison now, doesn't it?"

"ST-STOP IT!" Ayame screamed, her words ringing in anger before transforming into screams of pain as a razor-sharp edge caught her in the calf muscle and sliced deeply. It was all she could do to not recoil and try to leap away. Jumping back or reacting at all would put her right into the path of more incoming swords, right into Jakotsu's cheerful hands.

"Ayame!" Kouga's voice was muffled beneath the roar of wind and noise. Ayame couldn't even turn to look at him right now; there was a blade right where her neck would be if she did.

Forcing the searing pain from her mind as best she could, Ayame grit her teeth and kept on dodging from her prone stance. She was fighting to keep her nerve, to keep her guard up. Jakotsu was trying to distract her, to make her falter so the swords could do their bloody work.

"Lord Naraku's love is all-consuming," Jakotsu continued with a high, girlish chuckle, "No matter which or how many of those fumbling, boorish _boys_ you've allowed between those smooth thighs before, you've never experienced bliss until our Lord's fingers have caressed your skin." The hand over Jakotsu's heart began to absently trace a few light, tickling circles into his chest, and the gentle moan from the effeminately-dressed youkai was tinged with both cheerful reminiscence and dark, needful sexuality.

Kouga seemed to be fighting to reach her but the swords were too many and far too fast. He growled viciously at Jakotsu up in the tree. "Shut your fucking _mouth,_ you lying piece of - "

"You loved every second of being in his embrace didn't you, little one?" Jakotsu seemed to lean in her direction just slightly, clearly enjoying himself and ignoring Kouga's outburst completely.

"No," Ayame insisted, the black noose of shame and horror tightening her throat and making her want to choke, "It was _wrong,_ it wasn't my choice, he was - he was _inside_ _my head and I tried to tell him to stop and - "_

"And you never could, could you?" Jakotsu said dreamily. "It just felt so...perfect, didn't it?"

Ayame ducked a swirling blade, her face pressing into the damp, dirty ground, and she felt a fearful whimper escape her lips before she had to spring into another evasive action.

"Ayame," she heard Kouga again, but she couldn't see him. "Don't listen. He's a liar, he's trying to break you."

"I know," Ayame tried to call back. She tried to sound as confident as he did, but all she could manage was a hoarse croak while the words came out soundless.

"Lord Kouga!" Jakotsu gasped in mock outrage. "I would _never_ lie about something so _serious!_ Your little female knows the truth, even if she _is_ being silly and denying it. Once you've felt the touch, the _embrace_ of Lord Naraku, there's no smiling, no laughter, no joy possible that compares to his. She tried to sever their connection, but now she's beginning to realize: a bond of love like that can't be broken, not completely."

As Ayame's dizziness began to grow worse she grunted and chomped the tips of her fangs over her lower lip in an effort to stave off the pain. _Just keep fighting,_ she told herself. _Don't think about what he's saying. If you start thinking, if you start_ reflecting _on any of it you'll break you'll fall apart and you'll be dead and Kouga will have no one to help him and he'll surely die too -_

"He never _touched_ her," Kouga snarled through bared fangs. "She's been with me the entire time, and if he'd so much as laid a hand on her I'd have cut him in half."

 _Kouga don't. Please don't get angry remember that's what he_ wants _you to do -_

"Never touched her?" Jakotsu gave a raucous giggle behind his hand and sent Ayame a mischievous look. "Little wolf-girl, what lies _have_ you been telling this fool?"

Ayame would have curled in on herself in despair if such an action wouldn't mean instant impalement and death. "Stop it," she stammered, ducking and dodging all the while and feeling her limbs growing ever heavier.

Jakotsu was of course relishing in the obvious signs of wear they were both displaying. "He might never have been in the same room, wolf-girl, but you know as well as I do that Lord Naraku's touch, his love and affection for us, well...it's above and beyond all those earthly restraints."

"He forced his way into her head and made her a _slave!_ " Kouga roared. There was a stream of crimson in the air that told Ayame he'd likely been nicked or slashed again. "He thought she'd be easy to control, didn't he? But the real Ayame, _my_ Ayame, was still there. She was too strong for him, and that's what just _chaps his ass_ , isn't it?"

Even in the midst of fighting for his life Kouga seemed to be able to force out a laugh. It would have given Ayame some odd comfort if it weren't immediately followed by a grunt, a hiss of pain, and another ribbon of blood sailing through the air.

 _He's tiring._ I'm _tiring. And the more cuts we get, the more times the blades find their targets, the weaker we'll get. Little by little. Until it's all over._

The thought was too much to bear. Ayame had to stifle her urge to scream out Kouga's name; the last thing he needed was another distraction, _especially_ when he'd already been wounded several times.

" _Your_ Ayame?" Jakotsu's painted lips widened. "Well, that explains her little attempt to reject Lord Naraku's protection, I suppose. I mean, for a mangy wolf youkai, Lord Kouga, you're quite the sumptuous treat to look at. And I'm sure you're fun in the bedroom, too. A little bit unpracticed. Probably very little technique or creativity. But a good, rough time nonetheless. Did I guess correctly, little wolf girl?"

"Fuck you," Ayame growled in response as blood sprayed from a new cut across her cheek and she quickly had to lower her chin to avoid a slash across the skin of her throat.

Jakotsu seemed to be waiting patiently for a legitimate answer, as if the two of them were merely discussing the weather. Ayame was not about to give him the satisfaction, and in retaliation she increased the fury of her desperate evasive maneuvers while keeping her lips pressed tightly together.

Jakotsu's dark lips curled into the shape of an 'o,' and he clapped his hands delightedly at her unspoken answer. "Oh, little one," he said, almost _sweetly,_ as if he were a mother reassuring a child, "Was Lord Naraku your _first?_ " He made a big show of fanning at himself, as though the very idea sent him into misty-eyed daydreams. "What a _gift_ you were given. To know the peak of pleasure from the very _start?_ It makes me want to cry."

 _Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP -_

Another slice tore the back of her hand open, but the scream of pain died in her throat.

"Lord Kouga, you should be grateful for your slowly approaching death. How embarrassing it must be for you to know that any fuck, any _pleasure_ you could have ever thrown her way would be _pitiful_ by comparison! What a sad state of affairs, honestly. This right here?" Jakotsu gave a sweeping gesture at the storm of whirling blades. "This is _mercy._ "

"SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!"

Ayame couldn't look over at Kouga, couldn't afford to break her concentration. But she knew that tone; she knew he was growing blind with rage and that he was starting to slip his defenses even further.

 _Kouga don't please don't -_

If Kouga's cracking restraint wasn't clear from his voice, Ayame knew then that it _had_ to be written all over his face even more overtly. Up in the tree branches above Ayame saw the glint of Jakotsu's white teeth as he smiled with satisfaction and got to his feet atop the high branch. He had the air of an eager child winning a prize at a festival. His wild eyes scanned them both and watched them take more hits. He seemed to not know who would fall to the blades first. But it also seemed that part of the fun for him was in the guessing.

"Tell him, wolf-girl!" Jakotsu's cackle rang through the steel storm. "Tell him how wonderful it was, how you could _feel everything_. Tell him how your body responded so easily even at just the _touch_ of our lord's fingers! You cried, didn't you, because the pleasure was so great? We all cry at the touch of our Lord. All of us. For me it's been a hundred times and I _still_ end up a sobbing mess. It would be mortifying if Lord Naraku were a less-aware, less-patient lover, wouldn't it?"

Ayame refused to answer, refused to even think back. She was free. She had escaped him. So why did the mere _notion_ of Naraku's caress, the simple _image_ of him in her mind's eye, conjure up horror and disgust but also _regret and melancholic longing?_

"You're a filthy piece of shit."

Ayame could practically hear the defiant, bloodstained smirk on Kouga's face, conveyed by his strained voice that was laced with tension and effort.

"You and all of the rest of that fucked-up little _family_ you've assembled. Don't talk to Ayame as if she's one of you, because she's not. She knew she was being controlled and she fought her way out of it to get back to herself again."

There was another grunt of pain, this one louder, and a sudden silence that threatened to make Ayame's heart stop. But after a harrowing moment, listening intently over the metallic swoops and the clanging of steel blades, she heard Kouga inhale a gasping breath, as if he'd been underwater and out of air, before continuing with a faint wheeze. "Tell Naraku that next time he wants a new slave, he should stick to the usual mouth-breathing psychopaths. Much less trouble."

Ayame's lips formed the word silently.

"Kouga."

She hardened her concentrated glare and mouthed the name over and over again.

 _Once again, and as always, you are my prayer for strength. We have to stay strong, keep fighting. There's got to be a way to save you, even if I die trying -_

A sword speared through the back of her hand, pinning her in place. She shrieked as a stream of blood shot into her eye, but she couldn't recoil, couldn't flinch, couldn't even move to free herself just yet, not until she saw another brief opening.

The blood spattered freely to the snow around her, outlining her prone form in dots of steaming red.

* * *

"Begging your pardon, my lady."

Kagome jumped in surprise and sprang to her feet. She'd been in such a haunted daze, sitting there in the dark moonlit snow along the edge of the castle gates, that she hadn't even heard the gentle clop of approaching hoofbeats. How much time had gone by?

The one holding onto the reins of the horse was not the richly-dressed mute servant the shogun had promised, but rather the kindly old man she'd saved from the killing fields of Ryusei. He gave her a gentle, hunched bow, relying heavily upon his walking stick and clearly fighting back a shiver from the chill of the night wind.

"Oh, sir," Kagome exclaimed quickly, "Y-You shouldn't be out here alone. It's not safe."

"But you sit alone and unarmed?" The old man looked puzzled.

Kagome awkwardly fumbled for an answer that wouldn't land the old man in trouble with the higher-ups in the castle. "I'm - I'm waiting for something. Forgive me, I must ask you - "

"Waiting for this, yes?" His lips stretched into a cheeky smile as he held the reins aloft. "Don't worry, Lady Kagome. It's all there - your armor, your sword and bow, all of it."

"I - Thank you very much," Kagome said, mentally kicking herself for such rudeness as she sank into a respectful bow. "But how did you know - "

"I happened to overhear the shogun ordering a valet to retrieve your belongings and deliver them to you here. So I simply asked the valet as benignly as possible if I might be allowed to complete the task myself. You see, I didn't get a chance earlier, but I wanted to offer you my congratulations, Lady Kagome. Or I suppose it's Lady General now?" His eyes twinkled with mirth.

"Th-thank you, sir," Kagome said softly.

The little old man reached out to hand the reins to her, then paused with a wince, gripping the leather straps for balance until the cramp or spasm or whatever it was had passed. Kagome just stood there like a fool, wanting to offer help but then remembering the only way she knew how to help was to use the powers that had stained her so, that had shattered her burgeoning happiness just as the one who'd _given_ them to her had done - suddenly and without warning. Awkwardly stepping toward him, reaching to touch his shoulder and pulling back hesitantly at the last second - it seemed that was the best she could come up with on her own.

Finally, with a sigh, with his gnarled, spotted fist still curled around the reins, the old man pulled his bent, gnarled back upward with a grunt and leaned his chin atop his cane, giving her the kindest smile.

"As I was saying," he said in that aged creak of a voice, "You saved my life and those of countless others, and you will no doubt be the beacon of light for the human race that our Lord Shogun has said you are."

He gave a little grunt of recognition and immediately held out the reins in an outstretched palm, and she was immediately awash with relief that he didn't seem to be expecting any further reply.

The praise to her was double-edged, as it so often was, lifting her spirits and filling her with gratitude while simultaneously pounding into her skull like a hammer and echoing whispers only she could hear. Whispers of deception, of unworthiness, of taintedness and filth.

Keeping her composure and her smile, if only, just barely, she reached out to take the offered reins.

His other hand snapped over her wrist, and the grip was iron-strong and cold as ice, and when she glanced at his face questioningly…

The benign, friendly, harmless face was gone, as if erased with a wet cloth in a single swipe. The smile remained frozen in place, but this smile was wide and horrifying and hungry as he leered at her; the red circular markings all over his face where they hadn't been there just seconds before stretched and pulled with every quirk of his hideous face

"It will certainly be interesting to see what you look like when Lord Naraku is finished with you."

Kagome's dress kimono flashed through the air like a wall of gold thread as she snapped into action and plunged a ferocious kick straight into the center of the old man's - the _youkai's,_ the _demon's,_ the _monster's_ \- chest, using the force to propel herself back to collide with the powdery snowbank just as the tiny crystalline globe was dropped to shatter the ground where she'd just been standing. There was another globe already arcing toward her through the air, and from her prone position she swiped her voluminous gold sleeve just in time to catch and deflect it. It exploded into the snowbank just behind the youkai's toothy grin, and the air erupted into a dark purple fizz of miasma as in her mind she heard Sanada's bellowing voice.

" _You didn't see what I saw. A cloud of poison that choked the life out of everyone."_

* * *

A flash of icy-cold metal caught Ayame in the face and split the bridge of her nose. There was an eruption, a shower of red spraying her eyes, pouring down into her nostrils, and flooding her mouth with hot gurgling bubbles when she instinctively cried out in surprise and pain. Finally she had a chance to rip out the sword that pinned her hand. When she tried to clutch at her nose in a moment of weakness, she realized with a low moan that the entire of her nose, from top to bottom was cracked cleanly in two and dangling there limply. It was a flood of crimson down her face, though whether it was from her ruined nose or the gaping hole in her palm, Ayame wasn't sure. She choked and coughed and just barely regained her composure in time to dodge another missile, and it was back to the old game of dodge-and-pray.

"Ooh, that pretty little face," Jakotsu said, "All ruined now. Oh, Lord Kouga, you can't see her, can you? That's alright, I'll let you just imagine it. It's not like _you'll_ be leaving a good-looking corpse yourself, once it's all over. But be truthful here - it _has_ to sting you a bit, right? Knowing that Lord Naraku got to have her when she was pretty, and now she'll never be pretty again?"

"Ayame?" Kouga groaned out, sounding dazed and sluggish.

"I'm fine," she called quickly, even as a fountain of blood bubbled through her gritted teeth and dripped steadily from the sides of her face. It was a lie, but he had to know that, right?

Still more sword edges nicked and poked and sliced, and Jakotsu seemed to have grown bored of her trying not to choke on her own blood. Through the hazy red mist that dotted her vision and clung to her eyelashes like rainfall, she watched as he casually brushed a speck of dirt or dust from his sleeve and turned his smile back to Kouga.

"Lord Kouga. You really do fancy this little one, don't you? You don't have to say anything, I can tell by that look on your face. Ooh, now _there's_ a look! Careful that you don't slip, dear; you're in a position where a single mistake or miscalculation might bring the conversation to a close immediately. But while we're talking, just for a little bit longer…"

 _Kouga please don't listen don't let Jakotsu tell you what I did what HE did what HE DID TO ME AND I DID TO HIM -_

Jakotsu cupped a hand around his mouth and leaned down towards Kouga below, and when he spoke it was an exaggerated whisper through gleaming white teeth.

"...you can imagine how much he made her scream, can't you? I certainly can, from experience, but I want you to _really_ picture it in your head. You never even got a taste of that, not even a _sample_ , and Lord Naraku was taking his fill of her night after night, day after day. And the fun part? She was _begging_ for it. The entire time."

All Ayame could force from her throat was a thick, garbled, "No." _Kouga don't listen, don't let him tell you anything, I hated it, hated Naraku, wanted to die every time I felt that phantom touch sneaking up my thighs BUT I ALSO WANTED TO DIE EVERY TIME HE STOPPED Kouga Kouga KOUGA, DON'T LISTEN, DON'T HEAR -_

She heard a bloodcurdling, feral scream but she couldn't make out the words Kouga was shouting; there was a droning hum rising in her ears that was starting to drown out everything else, and the only time she'd ever heard that hum before had been when she'd laid there in the snow with her skull cracked into splinters and her face beaten to a pulp.

With a shuddering sigh, she caught a glimpse of her right hand as it flew across her face to evade another missile. It was coated completely, a slick red glove to her elbow. The jagged hole in her palm was smaller now, as the blood issuing forth had begun coagulating into brown sludge and clogging the wound. Her fingers on that hand could barely move now.

 _Is this how everyone knows they're about to die, or is it just me?_

Death had to be close, she reasoned hazily. She watched her arms dip and weave through the maelstrom, watched her speed and reaction time grow duller and duller every moment with the detachment of a bemused spectator. Every time she moved a limb, she felt the cold of the steel and knew another blade had made contact, but there was no pain anymore. _This isn't so bad,_ she thought, _maybe I should just take a small rest._ The thought made her smile with relief and she felt her movements lose their quickness and ferocity.

"Ayame! Don't you dare!" It was Kouga. She couldn't see him but she heard him, all right.

"What?" she asked hazily, with almost a perturbed edge to her hoarse croak. "I just need a little rest." _Why are you even looking at_ me _, Kouga? You need to concentrate on yourself. I just want a rest. Just a small one and then I can fight again in just a moment but I have to rest_ right now _-_

When Kouga suddenly appeared through the never-ending torrent of blades and launched his body into hers, knocking her to her back with a thud that she felt but couldn't really hear, she felt herself smile and surrender to the joy she'd always felt at the very sight of him, the joy she'd relished and treasured for the majority of her young life. His forehead pressed into hers as he closed his eyes and held onto her shoulders tightly, and she felt like laughing and squealing with delight but her throat was too dry to make any noise, so she just craned her neck up and pecked a tiny kiss to the corner of his mouth.

 _Hello, Kouga. Don't know how you got here in one piece but it's nice to see you at the end of it all, right? Now we can rest together. Just a small one, I swear. I promise, and then we'll be back at it. Honestly, how_ did _you get here? You found a pattern in the blades' movement, is that it? A little late for that, but better late than never. That's why you're Lord Kouga and I'm just Ayame, just Ayame who loves you._

But then she reached up to return the embrace, to pull him down closer to her, and her numb right hand closed around a blade hilt in his left shoulder. She recoiled as if it were burning-hot in her palm, and her knuckles collided with another hilt buried just below the first.

"This is just too precious," a voice said from above, and she knew it was Jakotsu admiring his gruesome handiwork but the hum in her ears made it sound nothing like him.

That strange euphoria of acceptance, that burning need to just lay down and sleep, evaporated from Ayame's being with the force of a slap to the face, and she felt her eyes grow wide with realization and terror.

Of _course_ Kouga hadn't found a strategic way out, a way to evade the maelstrom to get to her. It was _Kouga_ , wasn't it? He'd just run in without a second thought, and damn the pain and damn the consequences.

With a horrified gasp that caught in her throat and nearly choked her, Ayame tried to move from beneath him, maybe flip him onto his side and protect him with her own form, because _the blades are still moving they're still cutting and stabbing they're still moving and Kouga's NOT -_

As she jarred his heavy, unmoving form, she heard a sound like a bucket of pouring water. She felt hot, corrosive liquid spilling into her lap, and for a second she wondered what had happened until Jakotsu's triumphant giggle confirmed the worst.

"Sliced him nearly in half," Jakotsu said, his voice barely audible through the rush of the blades and the ringing in her own ears. "Wolf-girl, be a dear and help him hold in those internal organs, will you? This is ending far too quickly."

"Kouga, no," she whimpered as she wriggled her arm between them to put pressure on the gash that had torn him open from hip to hip. There were more swords every instant, soaring with breakneck speed and then coming to a jarring halt above her head. The blood speckled her face and she felt herself start to panic as she laid there helpless and watched the swords stab, slash, and chop into Kouga's shoulders, his back, his arms that still held her in that warm, close embrace.

"Kouga," she said again, louder, as she felt her breath quicken further and felt the sting of blood-tinged tears in her eyes, "No!"

Ayame grit her teeth, and continued to struggle against his hold, and only stopped when she felt his hands gently squeeze her shoulders.

There was a thick trickle of blood emerging from between Kouga's lips, and he seemed to be dimly aware of it even as his eyes refused to properly focus anymore, because when he curled those lips into a smile he leaned to the side as much as he appeared able and let the blood trail drop to the ground next to Ayame's right ear, avoiding her face.

"You know - what he said, you know it's all bullshit, right?" Kouga's words were slow and halting, as if his mouth were moving too slowly for his mind. "You're not ruined, and none of this was you. None of this was your fault."

"How can you possibly say that?" she wailed, holding up her arms around him in a wild and futile attempt to shield him as yet another sword whistled through the air and thudded into what seemed to be the small of Kouga's back. He grunted, but he didn't show any sign of pain except in those blue eyes of his. And the pain was for _her._ "None of this would have happened if I hadn't - you wouldn't be - oh, _gods_ , Kouga, please let me up and let me protect you, _PLEASE!_ "

Even at the very end he was strong and steadfast and said what he meant, even if the words brought pain.

"None of this would have happened," he said softly, barely letting himself breathe as he pushed the words out, "if I had just gotten my head outta my ass and taken you as my wife and mate a year ago." He coughed once, spattering the ground with red, and took a shaky gurgling breath, still forcing that reassuring smile onto his face even as another sword stabbed straight through his upper arm and pinned it to his side in a grotesque, lopsided pose.

Ayame couldn't take it anymore, and once his grip released on her left shoulder, she immediately rolled herself out from under him and scrambled into a low crouch atop his sword-riddled form. Her intentions were noble and pure, certainly, but her body was failing her just as much as it had been minutes before, if not more so. She tried to bat a sword out of the way with her already-useless right hand, and immediately the gaping hole in her palm was once again speared through. The pain this time was less, and some strange part of Ayame wanted to laugh at her terrible luck, but she focused on once again pulling out a blade speared through her palm. The hand bled anew, and the long glove of dark red became brilliant crimson once more.

Holding the sword aloft in her shaking left hand, she used her destroyed right to brace herself above Kouga's head, blocking him with her legs and body, ready to use the sword to try and deflect any incoming fatal blows.

 _Any_ more _incoming fatal blows,_ a traitorous part of her mind whispered.

"Ayame." She heard a faint protest from below, but Kouga, laying on his side with his face hidden from view, didn't - _couldn't?_ \- move to stop her. "It's over for me. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from - from - "

"Stop talking like that," she said, trying to bring a stern edge to her voice but realizing she was too tired and too short of blood to manage it. "You'll be alright. Nothing's killed you yet, and a hell of a lot of things have tried, right?"

There was a slight tremor deep in his chest; she could feel it through the skin of her thighs. He was laughing.

She waved the sword blade wildly and blindly in all directions, grunting with the effort of physical exertion, trying to stay awake, stay awake, _just stay awake Ayame, if you fall asleep who will protect him?_

Her balance was starting to waver, and each time she swung, each time one of her hands or feet scrambled for purchase in the dirt and snow around Kouga's motionless body, the ground below her seemed to grow ever more slippery. She didn't dare pause to inspect herself, but the scent of the air told her _exactly_ why her arms and legs felt slick and wet. _Same reason my face, chest and back do, right? And the same reason I can't get a grip on Kouga's body either._

It was a lot of blood to lose. More than anyone, human or youkai, could afford to lose.

Just acknowledging at the very back of her mind that their mutual fate was inevitable somehow made Ayame feel a bit better. It was as if the euphoric dream state was returning to her, and her clumsy attempts at defending grew ever clumsier as she braced her wounded hand on Kouga's shoulder to keep from keeling over.

* * *

Kagome sprang to her feet in a defensive stance. She kept a wary eye on the cloud of evaporating poison gas even as she leveled the fiercest, coldest glare she could muster into the cold, fishlike eyes of her opponent. " _You?_ "

"Me," the youkai said with a nod and a little mocking bow, "Thanks ever so much for your assistance at the battlefield, my lady. I had you right where I wanted you from that point on."

She kept her breaths shallow and light, backing away slightly from the smoky cloud. Her eyes were already beginning to sting.

"Lord Naraku requests an audience with the woman who ensnared the heart of our beloved prince," the old man said with a mocking little bow. "I'm to bring you back alive, of course, but I feel you'll be much easier to handle if I... _cripple_ you a little first." He held aloft another globe, playing it through his gnarled, stubby fingers, and gave a little wheezing giggle of delight.

Kagome stood there in her combat stance, feeling her lungs start to strain, knowing she would be unable to reach her sword in time if she darted to the horse. _And how can I be sure he even brought it here?_ "I'm sure the prince will be so thrilled to see the gift our lord is bringing him," the old man said.

"You're - you're bringing me to the - "

"Of course! The great Mukotsu always follows orders. Now stand still so I can put you to sleep, my lady. Or stand and fight. Either way, I'll be enjoying myself."

Her mind racing, her breath catching fearfully in her throat, Kagome heard the shogun's words echoing in her head.

" _When searching for a monster, west is always the direction to start in."_

Though it seemed to make every muscle in her body ache with the effort, she released her stance and stood up to her full height, hands folded expectantly in front of her. She was still shaking with fear and trepidation, but she forced her eyes closed and waited.

"I'll - I'll come quietly," she said, forcing the meek tone but not the tremor in her voice, "All I've wanted, since we were parted...was to see him again."

It was horrifying, what she was saying, and even more horrifying when she realized all she could see behind her closed eyelids was a duplicitous, mocking face, smiling at her with such cruelty, and those eyes, those golden eyes...

When she looked up at the hideous creature in front of her, he was eyeing her with confusion and suspicion.

"The heart of a human woman," he snickered finally, "How lovely. How delicious you must taste." He licked his prominent lips.

Kagome fought back the shudder and kept standing there, her spine rigid. She waited.

"Very well," he said, stepping forward and producing from his clothing a single bloom of a flower, the blossoms that same familiar dark purple, no, _not_ purple, _blue, blue like those eyes I used to love so much the eyes that aren't really blue not really -_

"Hold out your hand, _my lady._ " Now that Mukotsu's true identity had been revealed he seemed to have no cloak for his disdain of such a title. "And wrap those pretty pink lips of yours around _this_."

The urge to scream, to fight back, was overpowering, but Kagome let him drop the flower into her open palm. "I told you, I'll come quietly," she said softly.

"You will indeed," Mukotsu said with another hungry smile, "And you'll be much... _easier to handle_...when you're fast asleep. Not to worry, no permanent effects. I wouldn't do that to such a lovely creature." He trailed the tips of his grubby fingers down her forearm in a tickling motion and she fought the urge to scream and run.

 _He's got my weapons,_ she thought at a frantic pace, scanning the outline of her horse's saddlebags in fractions of a second. _He thinks I'm unarmed. But what if he searches me after I'm passed out? What if he finds the other - what if he just attacks me just hurts me and I won't be able to defend myself -_

She would have to worry about it when she woke up.

The curse upon her was disgusting, unholy, inhuman, but there was one advantage to it, heavy though the cost might be. She could heal. It took time off of her lifespan each time, but it would be worth it in the end, wouldn't it?

 _Miroku, Sango...Hojo, I'm so sorry. You're going to wonder where I am, but know this - whatever happens I'm going to fight and I'm going to end this once and for all._

With a single exhale, she popped the flower into her mouth, and before she could even chew or swallow, she was out cold.

* * *

"Oi." Kouga was still laying completely motionless on his left side, his right arm still speared into his torso, his legs slashed to bits and clearly useless, his entire back riddled with embedded blades. His voice was muffled into the ground slightly, and she crouched down to better hear him over that incessant death hum in her skull. "Come here."

"Wh-What?" she said shakily as the blades continued to fly at them. She deflected most with the wide edge of the one she'd salvaged, but there was a dull thud into her left shoulder as if she'd been punched, and suddenly her _left_ arm was useless as well. "Dammit," she said with bitter resignation, and with the last ounce of her strength, she leapt over Kouga's still form and dove to the blood-drenched ground to lay on her side facing him.

"Closer," he said, managing a half-smirk as soon as she entered his field of vision, "Get in close and cover yourself with my arm. I'd pull you in and hold you myself, only...well, you know."

"I'm not using you as a living shield," Ayame said tearfully, wincing as a sword nipped into her exposed hip, but wincing even more as another blade speared clean through one of Kouga's ankles and anchored it securely to the damp ground below.

"Alright. Just sit there and wait a few minutes and there'll be nothing 'living' about me," Kouga said, flashing her a grin of bloodstained teeth that faded after just a second or two. "Oh, no, that _face_ you're making. It doesn't hurt, I swear! I'm sorry. Bad joke. You know me, I always do and say the exact wrong thing. Especially with you, right?" He coughed again. Another fresh trickle of blood erupted from between his lips.

"You were just making me feel better earlier, or trying to, right?" Ayame stared straight ahead into those deep blue eyes, only dimly aware that the blades in the air had stopped their incessant whirl and were clattering to the crimson earth all around their heads. There was no real desire or care to investigate further, not when she could hear Jakotsu's feet landing in the thawing slush of muddy snow on the forest floor and knew he was coming to finish them off cleanly.

 _We only have seconds, just seconds left, and I want to be looking at him when it all ends._

"What do you - " Kouga was drifting in and out of consciousness but seemed to be fighting to keep focused on her in turn. "Oh, when I said I should have married you a year ago? No, that's the truth. I backed myself into a corner making excuses, spouting bullshit to myself and counting the reasons I should just leave you to forget that childhood crush and shack up with someone who's not an asshole."

He swallowed, and his eyes seemed to cloud over for a moment before he continued. "Like I said, I do a lot of things wrong, but with you I never did anything _right_ , and you _still_ liked me. And I wasted too much time. Almost lost you to Naraku, and now…" There was a glint of pain in his eyes, but Ayame knew it wasn't physical. "Seriously, can you come closer now? My vision's starting to go, and I want the last thing I see to be - "

She gave an awkward shove with her feet and was immediately there, her face inches from his, and she knew she must look horrific but when his eyes focused and he took in the sight of her, he smiled so broadly and with such open delight that all she could say was her old mantra, tried and true - "I love you, Kouga."

"Yeah, I know," he said with a sad smile. His eyelids fluttered shut, and then he seemed to force them back open with all of his strength. "I love you too."

His eyes closed and his forehead sank forward to collide gently with hers, and she knew that was probably it.

With quiet sobs racking her mortally wounded body, she leaned up to plant a kiss on his blood-smeared lips and awkwardly seized her entirely useless left arm with her useless right hand so she could at least pretend to hold him one last time.

Jakotsu's sadistic grin appeared, looming over the both of them, hard for Ayame to make out in the darkness even with her natural enhanced vision. "So sweet, honestly," he said, "And good for you, standing by a man who lies so easily to you."

Ayame knew it was nearly over for her as well; she could no longer muster the strength to lift her head, and she didn't even feel the wetness of that ocean of blood they were laying in. She just kept her gaze upon Kouga's still features, a tearful smile and a lump in her throat. Her arm wouldn't move on its own, but she still had some movement in a few of her fingers, and if she wiggled them just _so_ , she could trail them through the bloodsoaked hairline at his temple.

Jakotsu tried again, seemingly disappointed that she wasn't making things interesting for him. "Did you think he broke your bond with Lord Naraku, little wolf-girl? Because he didn't. I give you credit for trying, even with a man who made your heart so weak and starved for affection to begin with. But the love that Lord Naraku gives us only ends one way, dear. With - "

" - With death," Ayame whispered calmly, stroking the side of Kouga's face once more and taking in those devilish, handsome features one last time. "Go ahead. I'm ready."

"You are frightfully dull," Jakotsu said with a dramatic sigh. He raised the single sword blade in his hand aloft. "So I guess I'll just rip your corpse to shreds for a last bit of fun."

Ayame knew what that meant; the master blade was going to recall all its smaller brothers to reattach, and the blades would rip through flesh and bone just to find a clear path home. _It's fine_ , she thought, pressing her cheek to Kouga's and closing her eyes to wait.

 _Sshhh-THUNK._

Jakotsu stumbled backward just as Ayame's eyes blinked open again. He had an arrow sunk clean through his throat and out the back of his neck, and as he silently pawed at it, trying to get it out, his mouth opened in a terrified mute shriek.

She couldn't move even to look around, but she watched out of the corner of her eye as the arrow was finally removed and where there should have been blood spilling from the wound, there was instead a flickering glow and a white miasma of smoke, like paper burning in a fire. And like fire, the glow spread, outlining veins and arteries with shining halos as it traveled outward with steady speed. Jakotsu looked to be screaming in agony, his eyes wide and insane as he pawed frantically at himself, but no noise ever escaped his throat, and Ayame realized with mild, drowsy interest that the arrow had probably punctured his vocal chords.

As Jakotsu sank to his knees, clawing at his throat, his white face just a foot or so above her head, Ayame let herself smile with a small satisfaction as she pressed one final kiss into Kouga's lifeless cheek.

 _Hey Jakotsu, you will let me know, won't you? How it feels to be truly free of your master's 'love?'_

She knew she'd find out in a matter of minutes, seconds even, but it seemed the one who had killed Kouga, who had killed _her_ , would be finding out the great mystery of the next world just a little bit sooner.

There was no further motion from Jakotsu, who sat there on his knees in a frozen terror as his body physically flaked and crumbled into a billowing pile of ashen dust, and then the wind carried him off and there was no Jakotsu, not anymore.

It was quiet now. Just a dark canopy of moonlit treetops, the distant crunch of approaching footprints through the snow, and the slowing pulse of her own heartbeat in her ears to keep her company. Her arms had no strength left, but she did her best to cling tightly to Kouga's lifeless form, and she allowed herself a tearful smile up at the black sky.

 _Alright,_ Ayame thought, taking a last labored breath and closing her eyes, _Time to go. See you soon, Kouga._

And thus, she let herself die.

* * *

 _ ***sneaks in behind a literal fucking Roman shield* Uh, hey guys, what's happening? Did you, uh, enjoy the chapter? *dodges angry tomatoes* Well, okay, that's good, cause it's been a bitch and a half trying to edit this down and finally I gave up and cut the chapter in half, so expect another one posted tonight, hopefully! *dodges bullet* WAIT WHO CAME HERE ARMED WITH A GUN YOU GUYS I'M SORRY I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T SHOOT MEEEEEE**_

 _ **Thanks as always to the WONDERFUL AND MARVELOUS hi-nezumi-no-kawagoromo, who has been a saint and helped me sift through this monster of a chapter despite her own life being hectic as hell lately. I love and appreciate you so much, Hine. You ain't even KNOW, gurl.**_

 _ **ALSO, THIS GOOFY FIC OF MINE WON AN AWARD!**_

 _ **FeudalConnection on tumblr is a new Inuyasha fandom awards community, and it's so awesome how many fics and artworks are being shown recognition now because of them! Look them up and take a gander, cause honestly their list of winners and nominees is the QUINTESSENTIAL must-read list, as far as I've seen!**_

 _ **I am proud and flattered and humbled to announce that "Oblivion" was voted as "Best Dark Fanfiction" for their first quarterly awards! Thank you so much to anyone who voted for it, and equal congratulations to the other winners and nominees! I know Quarter Two will be just as amazing as the first!**_

 _ **I hope the length of this chapter made it worth the wait! I appreciate all of you so much. Please drop me a review if you can! I'd love to hear your thoughts, predictions, reactions, and/or threats of bodily harm if I don't stop torturing these poor sweet baby characters. See y'all soon! - meggz0rz**_


	29. Pulses

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Twenty-Nine**

 **PULSES**

* * *

 _ **SONGS!**_

 _ **"Opiate" by Tool (Naraku you asshole. ALSO THANK YOU TOOL FOR BLESSING THE OBLIVION SPOTIFY PLAYLIST BY LICENSING YOUR TUNAGE. I FEEL COMPLETE FINALLY)**_

 _ **"Him & I" by Halsey and G-Eazy (SessKagu ftw. Kindly ignore all modern references and just enjoy the viiiiiiiibe, man)**_

 _ **"The Widow" by Mars Volta (Ok now DO actually look at lyrics for this one. This is a very Naraku-tinged chapter even though he's not physically in it much)**_

* * *

Kagura was silently retying her obi from her perch on the edge of her lover's bed, her hair still unfastened and flowing freely about her shoulders, when she felt that old familiar spike of energy, that jolt of electric shock within the deepest part of her mind. She flinched back in surprise, feeling her breath catch in her throat as the chill of terror came and went.

She had grown so used to the quiet, so accustomed to the mastery of keeping _him -_ no, _them, all of them_ \- in a state where the only thoughts of hers they could see through that wretched mind-link were the ones she allowed them to see. Simple musings, a few rebellious grumbles mixed in here and there to avoid arousing the suspicion of the rest of the "family." _If they only saw loyal thoughts and adoration, they'd know something wasn't right and they'd probe deeper,_ she'd always told herself.

It was exhausting, keeping her thoughts guarded and benign even as she slept, even as she sought escape - real, true escape - with every breath she took.

Kagura kept her presence awake and alive in their sick, hivelike mindshare, but she hardly ever probed the other way. Always kept her distance.

 _Besides, the more I delve into the heads of the abominations that still call me "sister," the more I'd lose the small parts of myself I've recovered._

She'd risk opening herself up to further influence, risk returning to the horrific total control she'd silently screamed through from the very first day Naraku entered her life, control that had only loosened when she'd met…

" _You're one of Naraku's, aren't you?" Sesshomaru's tone was cold, dismissive, but Kagura found herself surprised that he'd even spoken to her. She gave a hesitant nod, raising her head just slightly but keeping the low cut of her kimono within his eyeline._

" _You can stop doing that," he said, leaning back in his seat upon the hand-carved throne and giving her a derisive sniff._

" _D-Doing what?" she said, feigning ignorance but already feeling the hot rush of shame at being discovered so quickly. Father -_ Naraku _\- would be furious again; he would make her pay once again, just like he did every time she failed him…_

" _He sent you to try and seduce me, didn't he?" He gave a quiet chuckle with no accompanying smile and shook his head, the cruel lack of sympathy never leaving his eyes. "He just offered you up as a gift to win my favor." Sesshomaru's raised eyebrow was the only hint of expression on his face. "I need his army's strength to win this war against the shogun. I don't need his friendship nor the sexual attentions of his mindless slave girls to enforce a decision I've already made."_

 _Anger flashed through her and before she could stop herself Kagura spoke. "I am no slave," she said defiantly, tugging her kimono closed and standing up from her kneeling position. "I serve my master, yes, my_ father _who takes care of me, takes care of all of us - "_

" _Your father, is he?" Sesshomaru said mildly._

" _Y-Yes. He took me in when no one wanted me, when I would have_ died _on my own - "_

" _And you're all one big happy family," Sesshomaru said with a dismissive wave of his hand to silence her. "I've heard this speech before. From the dozen or so other females he's tried to send my way since his arrival. You can leave now. Enjoy your life."_

 _And she left. Red with shame, she left. And Naraku had realized immediately what had happened and had cooed reassurances into her ear as he whipped her bloody._

And now, all these years later, here she was, in the warm embrace of a man who had rejected her so disdainfully that first time, who had shown no interest in any meager, rehearsed charms that she'd had on display; indeed, a man who seemed outwardly dismissive and disinterested in almost anyone he interacted with. And after Kagura's utter failure at her task, Lord Naraku had largely given up his efforts to supply the prince with a bride from amongst his throng of acolytes.

But Kagura could recall perfectly the expression she'd made when, just a few short weeks later, he had passed her in the hallway, flanked by his personal guard, Even as she fought to shrink against the wall and make herself invisible, he still stopped and voluntarily spoke to her. At the thought of it she felt a flush of heat rise to her cheeks and she smiled into his chest, closing her eyes.

 _That was the beginning of it all,_ she thought, and would have laughed if she weren't in the throes of despair at the moment, _even if all he said that first time was to pick up my feet and quit stomping around or else I'd ruin the varnish of the antique wooden floor._

The happy memory flashed past in a second's time, kept secret and safe through her strongest efforts, and when it was over, she cut a sideways glance toward her lover to see if he'd noticed her jump.

He had. _Of course_ he had.

He laid there on the bedroll with one arm curled lazily behind his head, completely relaxed and comfortable in his nakedness. His eyes were upon her face, and they were narrowed with a knowing concern. "Kagura," he whispered.

Kagura did her best to give him a reassuring smile, even as she hid her trembling hands in the folds of her dress. "It's alright," she said softly, "I'm alright. Just a pulse in the hivemind. Something must have happened."

Sesshomaru reached his free hand out for hers and she let her fingers intertwine with his larger ones. She knew that he could feel her shaking, that he could see the fear and doubt written all over her face. "Are you alright?"

"Yes…" she said, scared to look again but furrowing her brow in confusion despite herself, "...and no. It wasn't directed at me, so it wasn't loud enough to hurt, but - "

He squeezed her hand once without another word. He wouldn't pry further; he never did, because he knew what a risk it was to have her look closer. _He truly loves me so wonderfully and so entirely,_ she thought with a small fluttering breath.

"I imagine Naraku has been successful in his attempts to retrieve that human girl of my brother's," Sesshomaru said with a beleaguered sigh, sitting up further and releasing her hand to reach for his discarded inner robe.

Kagura could neither confirm or deny this, so guarded was her state of consciousness at the moment. She saw nothing, and thus _they_ saw nothing from her. "I...I don't know," she whispered, staring down into her lap.

"Kagura."

She looked up again and he was staring at her intently as he pulled the robe over his shoulders. "Don't look," he said, "Stay out."

The frustration washed over her in waves. Just a simple glance and she might be able to help, to give him warning of whatever was coming. But Naraku was always there, always ready to reach out with that spiderweb and grab hold at any given moment, and she was too _weak,_ too faltering, to say with confidence that she'd keep hold of herself.

She gave a hesitant nod, steeling her resolve despite the guilt.

And then there was another pulse.

A thunderclap in her head that nearly split her brain in two.

Kagura gave an anguished cry and launched forward into a pathetic heap on the floor, clutching at her temples with sharp-nailed hands and emitting a choked moan from the back of her throat.

Sesshomaru was at her side instantly, his large hands bracing both her shoulders, his curtain of white hair draping over her like a cloak. "Kagura!" It was more fearful than he ever sounded, and at that point he was no longer the stoic royal but a young man filled with desperation.

"Oh," Kagura said, tears spilling from her eyes and tracing rivers of salt down her face and hands, "Oh, _gods,_ Jakotsu is dead. He's not there, he's just gone, like - " She dissolved into sobs and crumpled in on herself as Sesshomaru held her as best he could.

The horrific part of it was that she wasn't even _sad_. Jakotsu was just as twisted and evil as all the rest of those "siblings" of hers. But her body was reacting on its own, forcing a display of grief and mourning that made Kagura want to throw up in disgust. _Naraku's gift to us,_ she thought, keeping the repulsion behind that stone wall she'd constructed in her brain, as she continued to wail in an obnoxious fashion into her beloved's bare chest.

Sesshomaru didn't question it, didn't call her an emotional fool. He simply tightened his arms around her and held her until the sobs began to subside.

"Ugh," she said finally, leaning back and wiping her eyes with her sleeve with a humorless chuckle, "Good riddance to the bastard."

"Agreed," Sesshomaru said, gently smoothing her hair away from her face with featherlight motions. "Apparently Kouga and his little female managed to stay one step ahead from Naraku's clutches after all."

 _But...Jakotsu's death...it was an arrow, not -_

Kagura must have made a doubtful expression, because Sesshomaru's finger was under her chin in an instant, forcing her to look up into those golden eyes once more.

"Kagura," he said softly, the only hint of concern on his face a slight line between those arched eyebrows of his, "Don't. Look."

The swell of overwhelming affection in her heart threatened to send her back into a fresh sobbing fit, but she held herself together and forced herself to say the unspoken thing she'd been dreading.

"I'll have to return to him soon. I'll be expected under the circumstances," she said in a trembling whisper as she clung to her beloved's loosened shirtfront, "but I have to say this out loud just once - I know deep down that Naraku _knows_. He may be playing coy, but he knows about us. He knew already of my regard for you, of course, but I'm certain - I'm _damn sure_ he's figured out that you...well...and he's _allowing_ me to do.. _this_...with you. Even when I think it's my own choice, that I'm rebelling against him and that my desire for freedom is what fuels me, I know deep inside that if Naraku didn't want me here with you, I'd be long dead by now. You know that too, don't you? You _have_ to."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, those glowing stones of amber-gold, and circled his arms around her just a bit tighter. "Then why do you keep coming back?" he said softly, the question's wording demanding but the tone soft as a caress, "If you're so certain he's allowing this, or even encouraging it, why do you return to my side time and time again? I would never demand anything from you that risks your safety; you know that. So why haven't you closed your heart to me and stayed away?"

Kagura couldn't help the choked sob before she spoke nor the prickling of fresh tears in the corners of her crimson eyes. "You know that, too."

There followed a whisper of a kiss across her lips, and she cursed herself for how much she craved it even when she was trying to talk some sense into both of them. "He's using this," she said, leaning forward to press her forehead into his collarbone and screwing her eyes shut, "Using...us. I don't know how, but he'll use me against you before the end."

"He'll _try._ " There was a tinge of a growl in that deep voice of his as he muttered the words into the crown of her head. "Of that I have no doubt. But I will cut him to ribbons before he lifts a finger against you. Against _us_."

Prince Regent of the Western Lands Sesshomaru certainly was composed, even imperial, but such statements like that betrayed just how very _young_ he was. A century or so older than her, yes, but young all the same. Young and self-assured and with a level of optimism that belied his stern and brilliant countenance.

When he said such things with so much _certainty_ , so much resolve…oh, gods, Kagura wanted so badly to put all of her faith in his spoken reassurances, and yet…

 _My dearest, don't you see? You are noble and strong and good, and I fear it will be your undoing, because you can't even begin to imagine what I've seen Naraku do, what I've heard him_ think _all those times, what he's capable of turning even the purest heart into -_

"He ordered the assassination of the wolf-girl, knowing it would mean openly defying your rule and plunging this castle into civil conflict," Kagura continued insistently, "He's clearly not very concerned with any retaliation. He's ready to take that power he's craved since he first came to serve your father, my dearest, and he's going to take it by force. You have to be cautious; Naraku works in shadows and plots and he'll have planned for your moves just as you've tried to plan for his."

The urgency with which she spoke, it seemed, barely made a dent in that solemn resolve of his. "Hence why I've finally ordered my brother freed. The less Naraku expects me to prepare for, the better, wouldn't you agree?"

She frowned. "Wh-what do you - "

There was a knock upon the doorframe and Kagura immediately tensed, curled herself inward to become as small as possible. "Sesshomaru," she whispered urgently, burying her face in his chest.

His arms never left her back, and it was with a calm and clear voice that he said, "Who is it?"

"It's Jaken, Your Highness. May I - "

"No," Sesshomaru said shortly, and Kagura felt the tension leave her shoulders just slightly, "Has my brother been returned to his rooms and taken care of?"

"That's - that's the problem, my lord. He's - he's out of his _head._ He won't let anyone near him. He's already taken swipes at - "

"Enter." Sesshomaru gave an impatient sigh.

The door slid open, and a very bedraggled Jaken stepped inside. The front of his stately court robes was nearly shredded, and he looked quite shaken indeed. If Jaken thought it an odd sight to see his sovereign kneeling on the bedroom floor barely dressed and holding tightly to a disheveled, tearstained mess of a woman, he was smart enough to not address it.

"You see, Your Highness," the imp said shakily, gesturing downward at himself, "None of the attendants were able to even _examine_ him without - "

"He did that to you unprovoked?" Sesshomaru asked impatiently.

His tone was sharp enough to make Kagura lean back slightly in his arms so as to study his expression. He looked _angry._ But at whom?

"O-Of course!" Jaken said, but his green pallor had gone just a shade lighter. "He's like an unhinged - "

" - Prince of the Western Lands, and owed every allegiance from all subjects in my kingdom, yes?" Sesshomaru said, eyes narrowed dangerously. "That _is_ what you were going to say, wasn't it, Jaken?"

The kappa spluttered just once and immediately nodded emphatically. "Absolutely, Your Highness. Absolutely."

"You're dismissed for now, Jaken." Sesshomaru returned his gaze down into Kagura's face, clearly showing that he considered the conversation over. "I will speak to my brother myself."

Jaken, it seemed, couldn't get himself out of there fast enough, and the bedroom door slid shut once again.

"Dearest," Kagura said with uncertainty, "I thought your brother betrayed - "

She was cut off by an intense, almost violent kiss, and she felt her spine go limp as she clutched wildly at the sides of his face and let out a deep, shuddering moan.

"Are you able to stand?" he asked softly when it was over, and she fought the urge to laugh despite herself. _After that kiss? Only you would ask such a question._ But she answered with a nod, and he helped her to her feet, still holding her in that warm embrace.

"Naraku likely has the human girl," Sesshomaru said, and she knew the wheels were turning in that brilliant mind of his as he spoke, "which means the time for action is drawing near. How long can you delay your return to his quarters before you're missed?"

"Not long,' she said truthfully, "Only minutes." The notion was like a bucket of ice-cold water dumped over her head.

"There are still a few questions I must have answered," he began, "Just a bit longer while I wait for that sadistic creature to spin the last threads of his web, and then we move to set it alight and turn it to ash. But until then, there is much I have to tell you."

She, in turn, was so desperate to hear it, but she pressed two fingers over his lips to halt his speech before he could continue.

"It's probably better that you don't," she said, not a little bitterly. _Just in case. It's better I know as little as possible, just in case that monster -_

She closed her eyes and gave a dry swallow that hurt her throat. _In case he does_ exactly _what I fear he will do, and goes through me to destroy the one I love._

Sesshomaru hesitated for just a moment, then nodded, seemingly understanding her meaning. "Very well. Just know this. I will break this chain around you, and you will never know fear or worry again for the rest of your days. Trust in me, and believe."

 _I'll try, my dearest. Oh, will I try. But..._

She once again tried to smile. "Of course I will, my love."

It was almost physically painful, disentangling herself from his hold, and she crossed to the door quickly, hesitant to even look back because the sight of him standing there, so beautiful and wonderful, would dissolve the last of the iron in her spine, send her running back to his embrace and damning the consequences, and bring disaster even sooner than she expected.

And oh, she expected it. One way or the other.

"The human girl," she said, pausing with a hand upon the doorframe, staring down at her own feet, "What does she - " _No, no, I can't know that. If Naraku hasn't made known to me, it means he already knows better than to trust me._ She shook her head and cleared her throat. "Just tell me if there's something I can do, something to help you - "

"All I want you to do," she heard from behind her, even and aristocratic in tone as always, "is stay safe. Keep out of focus, keep still and silent. Follow orders and don't arouse suspicion. And steer well clear of the human girl. We still don't know what she's fully capable of."

Kagura now _really_ wanted to ask questions, but she knew walking back into Naraku's fold with even a tiny piece of knowledge that her cursed "family" wouldn't expect her to know would truly spell the end. _For me, and maybe for him, and for the entire kingdom._

She once again forced herself to keep from looking back as she slid the door open, quickly checked to ensure she was unseen, and half-crept, half-limped back toward Naraku's palace apartments, where she knew that entire cursed clan would be gathering and plotting all manners of evil.

For her, the uncertainty was the most frightening part. The outcome of everything hinged on one party having outmaneuvered the other by likely just a single step. And when it came to the end of it all, there was no way of knowing just whose ashes would be the ones scattered on the wind and into oblivion.

When she reappeared through the doorway into the crowded room and scanned the anguished, bloodthirsty faces, she once again felt that influence probe into her mind and focused her thoughts on her grief at Jakotsu's death. All the rest went behind the stone wall, along with the quick prayer to the heavens and all the gods that said wall would hold together.

"Kagura, my darling," Naraku said, his voice seductively friendly but his eyes as hard as iron, "Where have you been?"

"I went to wash up," she said, holding up her cleaned cuts. She didn't address him by his title, didn't show any extraneous deference or love. It would have been far too suspicious.

Naraku's smile was wide and toothy and, it seemed, _knowing_ , as he motioned her with a single finger back into her place at his feet. She felt bile rising in her throat as she fought back the urge to panic. _Calm down, girl. You can't let him call your bluff and reveal it all anyway by accident. Keep the wall up. You're mourning Jakotsu, and you're curious about the human girl. Just a part of the family._

She knelt haltingly, realizing how bruised and battered she still was after a blissful few hours of forgetting, and stared quietly down at her hands in her lap.

Naraku cleared his throat, and she looked up to see him smiling hungrily down at that blasted chain curled at his feet. She gave a quick, wide-eyed glance around the room, and the faces around her were all curled into satisfied, sadistic grins as she lifted the bindings and restrained herself once again.

"That's my good girl," Naraku said, reaching out to fist a hand in her hair painfully before he released her just as quickly and turned his attention to addressing the others in the room.

* * *

"Where's the shogun at?" Sango demanded, seemingly more to herself than to Miroku, as they both stumblingly fled back down the pitch-black hallway, their faces both white as sheets, their eyes wide and unblinking. "He needs to answer for - "

"Sango, _stop!_ " Miroku tugged at her arm, with more force than he'd intended, and they both spun backwards into the wall. He gripped both of her wrists to hold her still, and from the way her brown eyes flashed into his with such outrage and fury at being manhandled thusly, he was well-prepared for her to bodily throw him off of her and maim him within an inch of his life. So he used what must be the last few seconds of his existence without at least two broken limbs to speak his piece.

"Sango, wait. Just wait. I know - I know we're both very confused and...and _unsettled_ , by what we just saw." He ran a shaking hand through his hair, knowing that they were both probably on the edge of physical collapse if they didn't find somewhere to sit down soon. "But we have to stop and think about this. About what it means - about what _she_ means, and what the best plan of action is now that we know - "

"She's his daughter," Sango said, her breath coming in quick bursts, her eyes cutting back down the hallway toward that locked door framed by darkness. Her face was white with shock and fear. "The maids called her their Lady Princess. She's his _daughter_. Why would he - what happened to her to make her like this? What is he doing, keeping her locked up and drugged like a _prisoner? His own_ daughter?"

"I know, Sango," Miroku said, fighting to be the calm one, wrestling with his own urge to throw up, to run, to scream incoherently into the night sky and let his sanity just _leave him_ , "I know. This is - we need to find Kagome, we need to show her. Before we do anything else, she needs to know, needs to _see -_ "

"We deserve answers." Sango was back to being furious again, her jaw set in a stony growl as she glanced back at the locked room, down at the floor, to her own shaking fists, and then finally back to Miroku. "She's his _daughter._ What does that - "

"If we just waltz up and ask him, do you think we'll get any answers?" Miroku reached up to smooth the matted, sweat-streaked hair from the side of her face, and she flinched, but he knew it wasn't for fear of _him,_ not Miroku, it was fear of _that woman, the princess, the shogun's daughter who is living in that room in utter darkness and screams in terror any time she's not drugged within an inch of her life -_

"No," Sango said, nearly hyperventilating and clinging to his sleeve, pressing her back into the wall in a clear bid to try and hold herself upright, "He'd probably just kill us. Kill anyone who questions him." The thought made her growl with clear frustration.

"So we find Kagome," Miroku said firmly, "She has the adoration of the people now, doesn't she? Even the shogun would know better than to have her punished or hurt for asking questions, right?"

Sango seemed to realize he didn't know the true answer to that any more than she did, but that Kagome needed to know what they'd witnessed as soon as possible, regardless of the next move. So after a moment of wild-looking thought, she nodded, taking one more moment to catch her breath before letting him lead her by the hand down the twisting corridors.

"She had a child," Sango muttered, and when Miroku glanced back at her face as they hurried down the dark halls, he knew she was reliving the horrific images in her head just as he couldn't stop doing. "There was a baby, and they took it out; that's the reason for the scar. But where did - what did they - could it be living in the palace too, kept separated from its mother since she's unwell?"

That seemed to Miroku to be the absolute best-case scenario, but he didn't have the heart to lie and get her hopes up. Honesty and realistic evaluations of what they'd just stumbled upon - those were the only ways he could see to keep both of them standing upright, keep their minds rational and calm.

"More likely it was a bastard," he said softly, staring at the floorboards disappearing under his feet. "She was clearly unwell, and it seems like she's fighting delusions and hallucinations. She said her husband was a king, remember?"

"And the one person who could possibly fit that description - "

" - is the emperor. Who is currently in his early teens and lives halfway across the continent. I suppose she could mean a shogun or a daimyo, but I hardly think our shogun could order the imprisonment of his own daughter and have her baby - well, let's just say _removed from sight and mind_ \- over an affair with a high-ranking official without anyone ever hearing about it or complaining." Miroku paused in his stride, raked the hand that wasn't clasped in Sango's through his hair, and took a few distracted paces in the opposite direction before shaking himself and spurring onward.

He was pushing and pulling Sango's limp form along with him as if she were a weightless ragdoll, but she didn't seem to notice or care. This was so much to think about all at once; he and Sango were going to have to try and do some serious spying to get any tangible answers.

 _We just need to talk to Kagome,_ he told himself again, his fingers firmly linked with Sango's even as they reached the great hall, where the last few drunken stragglers sat with flushed complexions and glazed-over eyes. _She's spoken to the shogun more than any of us, and he seems to like her, so maybe she can spark up a benign conversation and get some answers indirectly -_

When a few of the remaining partygoers looked up at their entrance with curious, glazed-over glances, Miroku deliberately slowed their pace to a casual stroll and pulled Sango's arm forward to link it through his, flashing her as mild and unconcerned a smile as he could muster. _It couldn't hurt to be seen by a few witnesses, just in case._ Even if said witnesses probably couldn't remember their _own_ names, let alone the random soldier and the beautiful girl in the voluminous dress kimono.

Suddenly, Sango stopped short, and he was jerked to a halt beside her. She held tight to the crook of his arm, hugging it to her chest for some strange imitation of security, and she stared down at the floor at her feet. Her brown eyes were wide and frightened, and her face as white as a sheet, _as white as that woman's skin had been, untouched by sunlight in how many years the gods only know…_

"Sango?" He cleared his throat, trying to spur her back into a casual demeanor. It didn't work.

"The name," she said, voice scarcely above a whisper. "The name of her baby."

He felt his own eyes grow wide as he clenched a fist over his mouth and stood there silently, letting it sink in, cursing himself for not catching it immediately.

 _Inuyasha._

 _Dog demon. She named her child…_

The haunting words, spoken in that high voice, echoed in his head and chilled him to the bone all over again.

" _He's a king. And I'm a queen. And our son, oh our beloved baby son…"_

He glanced at Sango to find her looking as stricken and shocked as he felt, and he reached a slightly tremorous hand to grasp her shoulder.

"Kagome, Sango," he whispered, "We have to find Kagome, and then we can all figure this out together, alright?"

* * *

Blood. Blood, _everywhere._

Splintered furniture, a shredded mattress, a single lantern dripping oil and flame onto the wooden floor.

He knelt alone, cold and naked in the nearly pitch-black room, staring blankly down at his bloodstained claws through the curtain of his matted hair. It was difficult to keep himself sitting upright after such violent movement just a few moments ago. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he'd reopened all of his wounds with such exertion, but what did that matter?

He felt utterly split in half. No, not half. Split into thirds. Fourths.

 _Why am I still alive?_ The words weren't spoken aloud, but they echoed through his skull, the mewling cry of a broken child. _Why won't they just let me die? Just that small mercy, and I'll take it gratefully without a fuss -_

These whining, desperate pleas for relief dueled with an unending series of feral screams and growls that made him twitch with pain as they fought to drown out all else in his head. _KILL, they tried to KILL you and they failed and now you must PAY THEM BACK, PAY THEM ALL BACK TENFOLD, COLLECT THEIR HEADS AND FEAST ON THEIR HEARTS AND RELISH THE POWER YOU WERE BORN TO HARNESS. LEAVE NO ONE ALIVE. DESTROY THEM ALL, END THEM and STAND LAUGHING UPON THEIR CORPSES -_

The softest member of this twisted chorus was what he imagined was the tiniest remainder of his rational mind. Yura and Naraku hadn't flayed it from him fully, but they'd certainly done their damnedest, and he struggled to even pick out the voice amongst the cacophony of noise. _You're out now, you're free, and Sesshomaru's no doubt on his way and soon it will be time to act -_

And of course, the gods laughed at him even now in his most pathetic, broken state, because the final voice he heard was not his own. Even now, he couldn't be rid of her, tormenting him and teasing him and breaking his heart over and over and over, and it likely wouldn't ever end. _You're the reason all this is happening to me, you know that, right? I'm being tortured and raped and violated and subjected to things worse than death, no doubt right at this very moment, and it's all because I was foolish enough to trust a vile thing such as you. You made me into a tool of war and then you sent me straight into the hands of those who would break me. Because you allowed me to love you, you_ let _that happen, and you didn't do a thing to stop it, not a_ single thing _, not a single action to protect me. I suppose I should have expected it, right? All of seventeen years old I was when I met you, and you've destroyed me you DESTROYED ME, I'M DESTROYED AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU -_

A shaky whimper escaped his throat as he collapsed forward, just barely able to brace himself and keep from faceplanting onto the floor as he held himself up with trembling arms that barely resembled flesh at this point.

He didn't hear the door open, or hear his older brother ordering the guards away; he didn't hear the door slide shut again or the approaching footsteps.

So when he felt a phantom hand reach down to gently touch his bare shoulder, he gave an animalistic snarl and swiped blindly with his claws. Sesshomaru easily dodged the blow and Inuyasha tumbled into a pathetic, twisted heap, unable to summon the strength to pull himself back upright again.

From his prone, defenseless position, his cheek pressed heavily into the polished wood floor of what had once upon a time been his own intact bedchambers, all Inuyasha could see was the hem of Sesshomaru's robes. He breathed in and out heavily and noisily, a low growl sounding with every quick exhale.

"I see that you attacked Jaken," he heard his brother say mildly, as if it were a dinner party and he was making polite conversation.

It was several seconds before Inuyasha could gather strength enough to answer, and when he did, the words were slurred and scratchy and unfamiliar-sounding. "H-Half-breed," he snarled, "Called me - called me - half…"

"I thought as much," Sesshomaru said. "Come on, you'll be less useless if you can rest in some comfort. You all but destroyed your bedroll, but for now, it'll be better than the floor."

He heard the words, and in some part of himself he comprehended them, but when Sesshomaru reached toward him as if to help him stand, he instinctively gave a hoarse scream and wildly lashed out once more.

His arm was firmly batted away, and he hissed at the sting of his wounds as suddenly two strong hands seized the sides of his face and held it still. Through the tangle of his bangs, he saw Sesshomaru's face appear, inches away, and his older brother's eyes were narrowed in what looked like impatience but might have been some smattering of concern. _Concern?_ Inuyasha laughed out loud at the notion, and bared his teeth.

"Show me your eyes," Sesshomaru said, and Inuyasha, knowing he lacked the strength to follow any orders right now, could only give a vicious, drooling chuckle. Sesshomaru's lips tightened into a thin line as he seemed to ignore such blatant disrespect and pried the blood- and sweat-stained mane of hair away from Inuyasha's face, scanning what he found beneath, pausing for a moment, and then letting out a quick exhale before releasing his hold on Inuyasha's head.

 _What about my eyes why is he -_

 _Please just let me die please please please -_

 _KILL HIM TOO HE LET THEM HAVE YOU LET THEM TORTURE YOU, HIS OWN FLESH AND BLOOD, TAKE YOUR VENGEANCE SHOW HIM WHAT YOU'RE WORTH -_

 _I'm going to die a thousand deaths and it's all your fault -_

"Now then," Sesshomaru said, staring him dead in the face with that unflappable expression once more, "are you going to calm down and stop acting like an infant pup, or am I going to have to knock you out to move you to your bed?"

Somehow, Inuyasha was able to react to that properly, and he felt his snarling breaths slow and quiet, though he begrudged his brother a spoken reply.

He was then lifted beneath both arms and carried easily to the bedroll, where Sesshomaru dropped him into a reclining position, and clearly didn't care to be too gentle about it either.

"Here," a cup was held out beneath Inuyasha's lips, "Water. Drink."

Inuyasha could feel his paranoid and guarded state, that survival instinct to defend himself against whomever, slowly starting to subside. Mercifully, the begging and fighting parts of that cursed choir in his mind began to grow muted, little by little, as he hungrily drained the cup. The water was cool as it ran down his chin, dribbling onto his blood-ribboned chest and bringing some strange, stinging relief. It was at least anchoring him back in reality, after so long in the purgatory of that dungeon.

With a cough that tasted of iron, Inuyasha dropped the cup into his lap and flopped backward onto the bedroll, his strength nearly completely drained now.

"You're a complete mess." Sesshomaru was looking over the remains of his shredded, mangled flesh.

When Inuyasha replied, the voice was finally starting to sound like his own, and there was a brief moment when he felt like laughing with relief at the notion. _I'm still here. I'm still me. Yura didn't strip me of that completely, that fucking bitch._ "W-Well spotted," he wheezed, closing his eyes and wincing in pain. "Y-you sure took y-your time once I was down there."

He felt a thin blanket slide up over his shoulders, and he hissed in pain once again, but didn't, _couldn't_ , open his eyes again.

"We had to make it appear genuine, brother. You know that. But now the time has come, and I need you ready to fight as soon as possible."

Inuyasha stared at the insides of his eyelids and could only give a humorless laugh. "Looks like you underestimated those - those freaks once again. Yura took away my sword arm." He felt his lips curl into a smile at the sheer hopelessness of it all. "Guess you're on your own. Can't say I f-feel too sorry about it, not anymore."

"Watch your tone," Sesshomaru hissed. "They tortured you, yes. Hurt you, yes. But they didn't break you."

 _Didn't_ break _me? What the hell does he consider_ broken, _then?_ Inuyasha fought the urge to laugh giddily again.

"The blood of Inu no Taisho runs in your veins," Sesshomaru said, his tone stern and certain, "The blood of the Western Lands."

"S-Slightly diluted."

"Are you going to start using that as an excuse _now?_ Then you really are pathetic and weak."

Inuyasha would have scoffed if he could have forced his eyes open. As it was, he just lay there silently, every bit the pathetic weakling, owning the part.

"I can almost _hear_ you feeling sorry for yourself," Sesshomaru said derisively. "So to spare the remainders of my patience from this ridiculous wallowing, you might start speaking of something useful and redeem yourself for all your countless past failures."

Inuyasha gave a shallow exhale. "Not even going to l-let me rest a minute, are you?"

"We don't have the luxury of time." Firm and unyielding. Classic Sesshomaru.

Inuyasha swallowed, took a deep breath, and spoke. "Th-They're trying to recruit the border tribes to their cause," he said, "Panther tribe was the big one."

"I'm already aware. What else?"

"H-How the hell are you already - "

"What. Else?"

"He s-sent an assassin after that wolf girl. Guess she broke out of his control and he didn't l-like it. So th-they know the wolf tribe will side with us and they're willing to fight them too."

"It seems the assassin was unsuccessful. Killed in action. So we may still be able to get word to Kouga and rally them back towards us for reinforcements."

"O-Once again, how the _hell_ do you know that?" Inuyasha felt the swelling of quiet relief in his chest. _Atta boy, Kouga. Hope you made that crazy fucker pay._

"No time. Not now. Continue."

"H-He controls them all, body and mind. Yura called it the s-sweetest pleasure you could ever hope for. Crazy whore."

"I know she said more than that," Sesshomaru said impatiently, "Yura's appetite for destruction is unmatched, but her discretion and common sense is nonexistent."

 _Can't argue with you there, brother mine._ "They're raiding human villages under o-our banners. The same way they sent the wolf tribe under false pretenses, w-with orders to leave none alive. But now Naraku's sending his loyalists. His _family_. The ones who can keep secrets." He couldn't help the return of that humorless smirk to his face as he sighed. "Guess that's why he left Yura to d-deal with me. Makes sense."

"So he's going to direct the human assault toward us and pick us off afterward." Sesshomaru's tone was reflective, musing. "Not a bad plan. It's what I would have done."

"He had spies in the h-human ranks from the beginning. He saw it all coming, brother. Yura mentioned weapons, but she didn't specify. And it w-would have been rude of me to ask, right?"

"You seem remarkably unconcerned," Sesshomaru replied coldly.

"I've been through h-hell," Inuyasha snapped back, "Worse than that. I w-won't bore you with details, but next time, you can give it a try and I'll s-sit in my room and plot."

"You know that there was an advantage in what I did," Sesshomaru said, "You're not as stupid as you act half the time - "

"Yeah, apology accepted. B-But the point is, there's not much that can happen to me now that won't seem quicker and easier than wh-what's already been done." Inuyasha swallowed, and his throat was dry again, but he didn't ask for more water, just continued, his voice even softer now. "Wh-What _I've_ done."

"So you're of the opinion," Sesshomaru said icily, "that he's won already, are you? That we, the sons and heirs of the great Inu no Taisho - "

"Cut the bullshit speech, will you?" Inuyasha felt himself growing angrier, more petulant, but he couldn't be happier about it. _It's still me. Still me._ "Naraku knew we wanted revenge against the shogun for the old man's d-death. My mother's death. So he made a deal with you, s-swore loyalty and penance for his past actions, the entire thing. Because nothing would m-make that evil bastard happier than wiping out the rest of our family l-line, except maybe having the humans finish the job they started years ago. It's like poetry, isn't it? And at some point, you gotta laugh."

There was no reply from Sesshomaru, and thus a stirring of mean-spirited satisfaction appeared in Inuyasha's chest and stomach.

"And now, you answer _my_ question. You o-owe me that much."

He knew Sesshomaru probably wanted to belt him across the face, but apparently his brother felt like showing restraint today. _Funny, that,_ he thought, _he doesn't normally._

"Speak." Sesshomaru all but spat the word out.

Inuyasha swallowed again, and all the humor, all the sarcasm disappeared, replaced by the cold, frostlike bite of dread and fear. When he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, barely a breath.

"D-Did he hurt her." It came out as more of a statement than a question. Asking meant holding out hope, and Inuyasha was well past that at this point, wasn't he?

"Not yet."

Inuyasha wanted to scream, wanted to leap to his feet and hurt something, anything. The growl in his mind grew louder once again, but he did his level best to ignore it and force the conversation forward. "Y-Yet." Once again, a statement and not a question.

"Apparently, she's been captured, and they're on their way here, if not here already."

There should have been relief at the revelation that Kagome was as yet unharmed, but Inuyasha couldn't feel anything but cold emptiness.

 _It's all your fault,_ a beautiful voice sang teasingly inside his head.

"And you're still going to do nothing." He felt the beginnings of a growl in his voice but knew there was nothing he could physically do about it.

"I never said I was going to do nothing, you idiot. But Naraku has the upper hand when it comes to her. She has powers that were long thought extinct. All the records, all the information, burned or otherwise destroyed. The last time I saw anything like they described…" Sesshomaru trailed off, and Inuyasha really wished he had the wherewithal to open his eyes and see if his brother looked as uncertain as he sounded. It would have been quite the rare sight. But the moment passed, and finally Sesshomaru continued.

"...It was the last time I saw your mother."

The shock and surprise caused an instinctive flinch, one that made Inuyasha fight back a groan of agonizing pain. "M-My _mother?_ " he cried, trying with all his might to sit up, to force his eyes open, to glare at Sesshomaru and demand answers, _answers, anything_ , _just tell me -_

"That's why I'm not making a move against Naraku right away," Sesshomaru said, "I have to confirm your little human girl has the same...gifts. And I have to figure out why Naraku wants her so badly. She can heal, yes, but to what extent? Does he want to keep her intact, force her into service for his army, or does he want to extract the power somehow, harness it…"

"No," Inuyasha snarled, "You go to him and you _demand_ \- "

"So now you think he will heed my commands?" He could practically hear the sneer in Sesshomaru's voice even as he knew it wasn't showing on his brother's face. "After you wasted all that breath waxing poetic about how he manipulated us from the start? You really do lose your sense whenever a woman is involved, don't you? Just like Father did."

"So you're going to do nothing," Inuyasha said again. "Big surprise, a heartless bastard like you. But you can't stop me from getting her out of there. The _second_ I can move, I - "

"If you wish for death that strongly, Inuyasha, I will gladly help you along." Now it was Sesshomaru's turn to snarl. "You can doubt my word all you want, but the girl _will_ leave here alive."

"Alive means _NOTHING,_ and you _KNOW IT!_ " The yell was strained and weak but it didn't matter.

He heard the rustling of fabric, heard Sesshomaru stand up and turn to leave. "Get some rest, little brother. You'll need your strength for the battles ahead."

Inuyasha tried to call after him, fought to will his limbs to move, but could only lay there trapped and motionless and scared to death.

 _Kagome…_

* * *

"Lord Hojo!" Sango cried out, nearly forgetting the honored title in her haste to dash across the courtyard toward him. She heard Miroku behind her, hissing at her to keep her decorum, but she ignored him as they both stopped in front of Hojo.

"Ah, Lady Sango. Captain Miroku." The young daimyo gave them a smile and respectful bow.

Fighting to catch her breath, Sango returned the smile as best she could. "Have you seen Lady Kagome?"

Hojo nodded, his eyes taking on that familiar look of quiet melancholy. "Yes." Sango waited as patiently as she could as he slowly raised a well-dressed arm and pointed toward the open gates. "The shogun wanted to speak to her in private."

Sango felt a frozen chill grip her heart as she cut a frightened glance toward Miroku, who urgently gripped her elbow and stood stock still. _Does he know we know? How could he possibly - And he's with Kagome alone, oh_ GODS _-_

As if it were a practical joke played by an amused universe, there appeared the shogun himself through the gate, his arms folded in his sleeves.

No one followed, and the gates slid shut.

Her vision whiting out with panic, Sango wriggled free of Miroku's grasp and took off toward him at a full clip, snow flying behind her. She didn't get within twenty feet before there were armed guards stepping to attention between them, holding her back and screeching her to a thudding halt. The shogun merely looked her up and down with mild distaste and curiosity.

"May I help you, my dear?"

The urge to scream all sorts of epithets and demand answers was nearly staggering, but she forced herself to keep calm as Miroku jogged up behind her, a friendly smile pasted on his face.

"Good evening, my Lord Shogun. You've met Lady Sango, yes? A member of the Taijiya clan, gods rest their souls. She's here under your exalted protection, for which we are all grateful."

The shogun gave a clipped nod of acknowledgment. "What has you in such a rush, Lady Sango?" he asked, "Or is running wildly in the snow a featured quirk of Taijiya tradition?"

"I was - I was looking for Kagome, m-my Lord Shogun. I thought she was with you?" She cast alert glances at the faces of the guards that surrounded her, prepared to dodge, to fight, to run -

Miroku took hold of her arm and firmly folded it through his own once more, holding her in place with more strength than it appeared.

"The Lady Kagome," the shogun said mildly, "has departed for home, to visit her family. I told her there was one last opportunity to do so before the real fighting begins, and so in honor of her appointment as shogunate general, she is taking some time for herself."

 _Without saying goodbye? To any of us?_ Sango's brow furrowed in hurt and confusion.

"I know what you're thinking, my dear," the shogun gave a kindly smile that was anything but comforting now that Sango knew what she knew, "She was hesitant to leave and let herself rest, so I gave her explicit orders and took no refusal. The Lady Kagome is a most beloved treasure of this kingdom, is she not? One mustn't allow a jewel to crack or lose its shine."

 _So says you, you who has kept your OWN DAUGHTER captive all these years -_

"Y-Yes, sir." Miroku stepped in quickly. "Thank you for telling us. We will eagerly await her return, and we will pray for her safe passage to the refugee villages." He bowed, and forced Sango to bow as well with a firm hand at the small of her back before she felt him ushering her away forcefully.

"I swear," he said, finally releasing her once they were safely back in Kagome's empty room and leaning against wall with a heavy, tired sigh, "You'll get yourself killed, and me right along with you, if you don't learn to think before you act."

"He's _lying,_ Miroku," Sango said angrily. "You know it, and I know it."

"He very well may be," Miroku said rigidly, "but I find it hard to see how we can possibly find Kagome with both of our heads spiked through the top of the gates."

"So we just wait here and hope she isn't dead in the woods outside, is that it?" she snapped, glaring up at him.

"Of course not," Miroku protested, "but drawing the ire of the shogun right now, when we've seen what the man is capable of, is probably a bad idea, wouldn't you agree?"

She wanted to scream with frustration, wanted to punch through the wall, punch _Miroku_ , even. "So we leave," she said through gritted teeth, "We leave tonight, and we find her, and we - "

"Great plan," Miroku said, "A captain of the shogunate army disappearing without proper clearance? They'll never suspect a thing."

Sango stood there for a few seconds, angrily staring up at him, her shoulders rising and falling with every furious breath. "Then I'll go myself," she said, and with that she began flinging the layers and layers of dress kimono from her body.

"Sango - "

"Where's my - there it is." She grabbed her Taijiya bodysuit from its place folded in the corner and batted away Miroku's hand when she felt it reach for her.

"Sango, please, stop for a second." His grip was suddenly there on both her shoulders, forcing her to turn and look at him. "I know you're worried, and damn it, so am I, but…" He trailed off, staring down at her.

His blue eyes were tinged with concern, and his brows drawn in worry. The sincerity and openness of such a gaze would perhaps have warmed her heart just an hour or so ago, but now it just frustrated her. Made her angrier.

"But _what?_ " she snapped, wrenching out of his hold and taking a step back as she shoved her legs through the pants of the bodysuit and pulled it up to do the same with her arms before fastening it shut. She moved to pull her hair into a high, tight ponytail and realized there were still stray golden ornaments and combs still tucked within her disheveled updo, and the only thing to do at that point was to grab hold of them roughly and toss them to the ground with punctuating metallic clinks. _Ridiculous, overly ornate nonsense, all of it. The people, the ceremony, the_ hairpins -

"There's no sense in you going out there and getting hurt or killed - "

"But it's fine if it happens to Kagome, is that it?"

"No, but you - she - what if the shogun _was_ telling the truth, and she really is going to see her family, and - "

Sango felt her lips purse into a cruel sneer. "So _now_ you want to believe him, do you? If it means staying here in wealth and comfort with that ridiculous expensive armor of yours and letting your friend die alone in the cold - "

"That's not fair!" Miroku bellowed. "I'm saying that running off into the night without a plan, without even a _direction_ to start in, is childish and stupid, and I'm not going to let you do it!"

"Not going to _let_ me, huh?" She couldn't help it; she bared her teeth in a wild snarl and shoved him back with all her might. He stumbled back with a grunt, looking outraged and not a little hurt at her outburst, and perhaps she'd regret it a thousand times for the rest of her life but none of that mattered right now, what mattered was _Kagome_ and _that ghost of a princess_ and _just how horrifyingly fucked up it all seemed to be._ "I've known how to survive and track in the worst conditions since I was a child. I'm going, and you're not stopping me, Miroku. Especially since this is all my fault."

"How on _earth_ is this your - "

"Because I could have been with her!" she screamed, "I could have at least known what happened if I hadn't been so focused on letting some lecherous _monk_ take his _perversions_ out on me!"

The barb was impulsive, and she didn't mean it to be that sharp, but its aim was true, and Miroku's expression quickly morphed from shock to pain to a frightening, even chill. "I see," was all he said, and she immediately wanted to apologize but her pride and her fury wouldn't allow it.

"S-So I'm going," she said, fighting to keep her iron expression from crumpling into regretful tears as she snatched a ceremonial sword from its display on the wall and checked it. _Sharp enough. It'll do._ "If you think staying here and letting them lie, cheat, and deceive you is worth it, you go right ahead. But Kagome probably won't thank you for it. If she's even still alive to thank you."

Seeing his handsome face devoid of any warmth of expression was unfamiliar and jarring, so Sango found an excuse to look away as she tied the blade to her belt and continued her tirade. "Even if she weren't the kindest, the sweetest, most admirable person I've ever known," she said, fumbling with the knot, "Even if that _wasn't_ the case, Kagome saved my _life,_ Miroku. She pulled me out of that burning building and took care of me, and without her, I might not have the use of this arm anymore." She gestured with the limb emphatically. "I owe her my life, and if that means giving up this borrowed time to save _hers_ , then so be it."

Miroku's stone-cold expression relaxed, only to be replaced with what appeared to be a crippling melancholy and resignation as he sighed. "Ah, yes," he said, closing his eyes briefly, "I had forgotten."

There was a terrible silence as Sango furrowed her brow and stared at him out of the corner of her eye. "I'll find her," she said, feeling a heavy weight in her chest and a painful tightness in her throat, "And I'll bring her back. You don't need to worry. They won't look for me; in fact, they'll probably be glad I'm gone." She tried to force a laugh and it came off terribly.

Miroku didn't react to her poorly-timed joke, just gave her a small formal bow and pulled the bedroom door open behind him. "May the gods guide your way and guard your steps. Safe journey, Lady Sango." He then turned and stepped into the hallway, and then the door snapped shut and she was alone.

A treacherous tear escaped her eye and she wiped it off with her black sleeve, allowing herself one quiet, strangled sob as she heard his footsteps retreat, then disappear.

And then she wrapped her fingers around the hilt of that clunky ceremonial sword and left the room herself, heading for the courtyard, and then beyond that, the border wall, where she'd wait for a gap in the sentries and then let herself disappear into the night.

* * *

 _ **Said this on Tumblr already but HASHTAG PRAY FOR KAGURA**_

 _ **Sango and Miroku like: Spooky Izayoi, big yike, what do**_

 _ **HI INUYASHA BEEN A WHILE. MY POOR PRECIOUS BABY I HURT YOU AND I'M SORRYYYYYYYYY**_

 _ **Sango why u so meeeeeannnnn but go help yo friend gurl we stan u**_

 _ **As always thank you to hi-nezumi-no-kawagoromo for her constant presence and influence and help on this giant monster of emotions that I decided to write for some reason. (Remember when this was just a loose Mulan AU? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Megg has forgotten)**_

 _ **Please leave me some feedback if you liked the chapter! Or even if you hated it. But tell me why, and cite your sources. I will be cross-referencing any hate mail with my own awkward rationalizations for this spiderweb of a plot. OH GOD DOES NARAKU HAVE ME IN HIS HIVEMIND TOO? NO ONE TOLD ME THAT WOULD BE A SIDE EFFECT -**_

 _ **LOVE Y'ALL - meggz0rz**_


	30. Reunions

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Thirty**

 **REUNIONS**

* * *

 ** _SONGS!_**

 ** _"Bruises" by Lewis Capaldi (btw if y'all don't follow this nonsense boi on Instagram get on it, he's ridiculous and I adore him)_**

 ** _"Karma" by Alicia Keys (TIME FOR SOME MUCH-DESIRED RETRIBUTION FOR OUR GURL, SURE HOPE SHE THINKS IT THROUGH THO)_**

 ** _"Dark All Day" by Gunship (there's some spooky shit a-blowin on the horizon for both Miroku and Sango, but like, not rn OOP SPOILERZ)_**

* * *

"Mukotsu has returned, my lord."

The news caused a rush of amongst the chamber's occupants, all of whom had been in the sobbing throes of mourning for the fallen Jakotsu. All heads immediately turned toward the chair at the head of the room, toward their father and leader.

Kagura, face stained with rivers of false tears, kept her head resting in Naraku's lap and resisted the urge to glance up at his face. She knew what she'd see anyway - a wide smile of terrifying satisfaction, a smile that never reached those cold eyes.

"Excellent, Bankotsu. Show him in."

Mukotsu's grotesque silhouette appeared in the doorway before long, and he had in his arms a great tumble of gold fabric that shone like the sun. Kagura could barely see it within the silken, luxurious folds of cloth - a crop of wild black hair framing a delicate, pale face. _So this is the human girl everyone's talking about._ A safe thought, merely an observation, so she rang it in her mind openly.

"She's unharmed, my lord," Mukotsu said quickly, holding her out at arms' length as if he were displaying a treasure he'd found. "I mentioned the prince just once and she was ready to do _anything_ to return to his side."

"Love is a wonderful thing, is it not?" Naraku chuckled, not sounding surprised in the least. "Especially for those with human hearts."

Snickers all around, framed by wicked, knowing smiles. Kagura kept still. Kept silent.

"No time to waste," Naraku said, reaching down and running icy fingers through Kagura's hair, "We must clean her up and make her presentable. No doubt her prince is aching for her just as she aches for him."

"My lord," Yura stood up eagerly, crimson eyes burning with delight, "Please allow me to prepare her. As someone who knows Prince Inuyasha so _intimately_ \- " Another round of snickers, to which Yura joined in. " - surely I can fix her up and make her irresistible on sight. As much as a human _can_ be, anyways."

"Yura, my darling girl," Naraku said kindly, "Always so ready to help me. But no, no, I think under the recent circumstances we want to keep your scent off this human child as much as possible."

Yura gave a small sigh of disappointment and resumed her seat.

"Kagura."

Kagura flinched but quickly covered it by craning her neck up to look at Naraku. "Yes, my lord?"

"Prepare the child. Give her a warm bath and ensure that she's relaxed and comfortable. Put her mind at ease; reassure her that she'll see her prince again very soon. In the meantime, I'll pay a visit to the throne room and inform Prince Sesshomaru of her arrival."

Sesshomaru's warning rang in Kagura's head again - " _Steer well clear of the human girl. We still don't know what she's fully capable of."_

She swallowed, cleared her mind, and nodded up at Naraku, waiting for his nonverbal consent to unclasp her chains again. Her aching muscles burned with fury as she stood up and crossed the room to take the human girl in her arms.

The girl didn't react with more than a slight grimace behind her closed eyelids, her nose wrinkling once and then relaxing back into her drugged stupor. Kagura quirked a curious eyebrow. It was her first time in such close proximity to a human, and all she could seem to do was marvel. _This is the girl Prince Inuyasha nearly defected for? This tiny, fragile_ child _who weighs next to nothing_? Frankly, she didn't see the attraction, but then again, the younger prince's little romantic interlude seemed to have caught all the others off guard as well.

"Kagura."

"I'm going!" she snapped, scampering out of the room and down the hall toward the steam rooms.

* * *

A red sun was rising above the treetops, and Sango paused against a tree trunk to catch her breath.

She swallowed through a dry, parched throat and cast a brief look upward.

It would be spring soon, and the snows would thaw and the earth would be green again. But for now, the trees remained as bare as ever, dipping their spindly white branches into the bloodstained sky like the bones of a thousand skeletal hands.

For just a moment, she felt the terror take hold, the fear of the unknown, the _regret, oh, the regret_ , but she gave a hissing exhale through her gritted teeth and pressed onward, scanning the snowbanks around her feet.

Thank the gods there had been no snowfall last night, because the tracks she soon spotted were clear and easy to read.

There was a set of horse's hoofprints and two, no, three distinct sets of human footprints.

 _And a clear sign of a fight._

Sango felt her breath catch in her throat at the tiniest set of footprints, tracing with her eyes where they deepened in the snowfall. _She was bracing herself. Taking a combat stance._

And the footprints she knew to be Kagome's abruptly stopped. As if she'd been spirited away in midair.

So who were the other two? One was certainly the shogun, but who was the -

She shook her head. It didn't matter who it was. All that mattered was the direction he or she had traveled in. So she tracked the prints, keeping low to the ground and navigating through the thickening forest, hand firmly on the hilt of her borrowed sword.

And after what seemed like forever but was likely no more than a few minutes, she came upon Kagome's beloved horse, slaughtered and abandoned in the blood-spattered snow. Kagome's armor and weapons were still attached to the saddle, and the single set of tracks vanished here. There was nothing else, no clue as to what had happened from this point, what Kagome had had to _endure_ -

Sango dropped limblessly to her knees.

* * *

Whatever that flower had been, whatever she had ingested, it had caused a peaceful, deathlike slumber, one that wasn't plagued by nightmares of claws and fangs and falsely loving embraces. It was as if only seconds had passed when Kagome stirred and opened her eyes, squinting in the sudden flow of bright lamplight.

She was in some sort of bathing chamber, with a warm, steaming pool just feet from her prone position on the floor. The room was ancient and ornate, and for the briefest of moments Kagome wondered if it had _all_ been a strange nightmare and if she wasn't still in the shogun's palace, or better yet…

 _Still in that hostel in Ryusei with -_

There was a gentle tugging and rustling at her enormous golden kimono, and Kagome turned her head to the right and found herself face-to-face with -

 _Red eyes._

She instinctively recoiled, and to her surprise, the owner of those eyes flinched back as well, showing clear hesitation.

It _appeared_ to be a young girl in her late teens, with ebony hair and a high-cheekboned face, and it _appeared_ to mean her no immediate harm. _But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that these creatures are deceptive to the core. Liars and killers, all of them._

"W-Welcome back," the youkai girl spoke after a moment, holding up her hands in a gesture of peace. Kagome noted the long clawlike fingernails and could barely keep from trembling in fear. "I was given orders to help get you cleaned up. You've had a long journey through the cold…" The girl trailed off, frozen in place, seemingly waiting for Kagome to act or speak.

The expression on the youkai girl's face was so openly nervous, so _humanlike_ , that Kagome nearly empathized. Nearly. _If I get out of this alive, I'm going to make it my life's mission to tell humankind that all the rumors of youkai appearance are untrue; they're monsters to the core, of course, but they can look so_ frustratingly _similar to us, can lie and deceive and play on our sympathies to catch us by surprise and kill us all -_

"So...are we good?" The youkai girl remained still, worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth. "If I'm not back with my family in half an hour or so, they'll send someone looking. Not that I'm threatening or anything, I'm just saying. I'm not a threat at all. At least - never mind."

 _Why is she acting so frightened of me?_ She's _the monster here, not me._ Kagome stared at her, blinked, and then inclined her head in a slow nod. "I can undress myself." She sat up, reclined on her elbows, and drew her hands over her obi in a protective stance.

The raven-haired youkai girl seemed all too eager to stand up and take a few steps back in retreat. "Knock yourself out," she said, then her crimson eyes widened and her cheeks flushed to match as she went right on stammering. "I mean, uh, you know. Go ahead. I'm sorry, I didn't mean - _gods,_ Kagura, way to step in it again - I'm gonna just sit right here and be quiet. Feel free to ignore me completely."

Frowning, Kagome carefully, _oh so carefully_ , unfastened her golden obi and laid it on the floor. The metallic clink as it touched ground was barely audible, but it was there despite her best efforts, and she fought the urge to wince.

Kagome wasn't the only one who flinched, _oh gods I forgot they hear everything don't they they're like animals that way -_ and she snapped her head around to face the youkai girl - _Kagura, she'd said_ \- once again, curling her fingers into the floor, ready to snap into action, ready to defend, to attack -

Kagura's face seemed to grow stark white with terror as Kagome rounded on her, and she once again held her hands up defensively. "It's alright," she whispered insistently, "None of the others noticed it. I'm not taking it from you."

Kagome's gaze cut to the folded obi once more. "You're...you're going to let me keep my weapon?" _In a youkai_ _stronghold?_

Kagura kept her hands - _her clawed hands_ \- aloft, and her face relaxed as she closed her eyes. "It's none of my business, trust me. I'm not even going to _think_ about it. The less I know, the better."

As she continued disrobing and finally slipped into the pool of steaming water, never turning her back or taking her eyes away from the room's other occupant, Kagome found herself wondering if all youkai were this strange and unpredictable. If so, she was in for a hell of a last stand, wasn't she?

* * *

"You're late, Captain. Apologize immediately!"

"Now, now, General Ibushi. No harm done. Captain Miroku," the shogun said with a warm smile, "I trust you're well?"

"Just fine, my Lord Shogun. I apologize for my late arrival." Miroku managed a deferential bow in that heavy armor as he stumbled into the council room, where all the other officers stood poised and waiting.

He was, in all honesty, still a bit drunk from last night. From the last three nights without Kagome, without -

 _Sango. Where are you? Did you - Are you -_

Miroku cleared his throat of bile, and his mind of the painful thoughts, as he waited for the shogun to address the group once more.

"General Ibushi, of course, will lead the way, and your own small garrisons will follow," the shogun said, turning to look each man in the face as he spoke. "The kitsune have harmed our villages with their ferocious ways for far too long, and like the cowardly beasts they are, have kept to the shadows. Tonight we will bring them the light of justice, of retribution. And then we will do it again, and again, until our exiled people are able to return and live in peace and harmony. Soon the youkai monsters will be naught but legend, and you will be the ones who made it possible."

The room broke into a fervent applause, and Miroku cursed himself for joining in as he kept a wary eye on the shogun's aged face.

" _She's his daughter...she's his_ daughter…" Sango's voice rang in his head for the twenty-seventh time that morning. _No, twenty-eighth_ , he corrected himself.

There was a cold trickle of sweat inching down the back of his neck, and the armor made it impossible to scratch at it. There was an intense, painful hollowing in his core. It probably had something to do with the fact that he'd barely consumed any solid food in a while (at least, any food that he hadn't ended up vomiting back out later), but Miroku knew himself enough to know that wasn't the sole explanation.

 _I had to stay,_ he once again rationalized to himself as the officers were dismissed and immediately filed down the hallway toward the stables, where their men would be waiting to leave. _She wanted to go, and she was right to go, and by staying I kept the heat off her back so she could do what she does best. I had to stay and play the part so as not to arouse suspicion._

Trusty old Oji was in the stableyard waiting for him, looking exhausted and worn-out as usual. Miroku gave him a gentle pat along his bony spine and thought, _You and me both, old friend._

He pulled his helmet on, grimacing at the added weight, as he remembered Sango's furious accusations. Those had been some of the final words she left him with.

" _If you think staying here and letting them cheat, lie, and deceive you is worth it, you go right ahead - "_

"Captain?"

"Hmm?" Miroku jumped a bit and turned to see a nervous-looking lad of about sixteen standing behind him. The kid wore armor far too big and carried a weapon that seemed far too heavy. It reminded him of the first time he'd seen…

" _\- But Kagome probably won't thank you for it. If she's even still alive to thank you."_

"Sir," the boy said, "Are we - are you alright?"

"Terrific," Miroku said shortly, hoisting himself into the saddle and taking the reins. "Move out."

* * *

Inuyasha still couldn't move, couldn't will his dead, wounded limbs to work. All he could do was lay there on his shredded mattress, staring up at the darkness of the ceiling and feel the blood thudding through his heart. His thoughts were no longer four disparate voices, not anymore, just a single frantic cry. His own. Whole again.

 _Mother my mother he said "mother" he said it and he wasn't lying not about that -_

 _Naraku is going to HURT her and Sesshomaru is going to let it happen and I can't do a thing not a single thing to help her and even if she hates me I have to figure out something -_

 _Please Kagome please be safe and stay strong and beautiful and fight if you can but not too much not too much don't make it worse -_

 _I have to get out of this bed._

"I have...to get out of this bed," he repeated, his voice a weak croak. He managed to twitch his left hand once, and his entire arm felt as if it were doused into an open flame. The right hand was still dead, and he realized with no real reaction that it would likely have to be amputated.

 _Keep going. Keep trying. Fight through it._

"I have to get out of this bed," he whispered again, and as he repeated the mantra, he kept flexing his three good limbs, biting back the whimpers of pain that threatened to split his mind into warring quarters all over again.

When he spoke again, it was a bit louder.

" _I have to get out of this bed."_

* * *

The water was the perfect temperature, the light in the room warm and welcoming, and yet Kagome huddled in the tub, curled in upon herself with every muscle in her body tensed to the point of near pain.

She kept a trained eye on the youkai female ( _Kagura she said her name was Kagura and she let you keep your weapon even though there was no reason to - no, don't listen don't let her trick you into thinking she's a good person she's not even a PERSON is she, she's a monster like all the rest of them)_ and refused to even lean back to wet her own hair in the water.

Doing so would expose the vulnerable swell of her throat.

Leave it open for a lightning-quick slice.

Leave Kagome to watch her own warm blood turn the bathwater a horrific shade of pink before the light faded from her eyes.

Kagura just sat there, completely still, and appeared to be keeping her eyes on Kagome just as warily. She hadn't spoken a single word or made a single sound since Kagome had entered the tub.

And so passed several minutes.

Until the door slid open and a robed figure stepped inside, and Kagome scrambled backward on her hands and feet, her bare back colliding painfully with the wooden border of the tub, her face stretched and stricken with terror. She wanted to scream but nothing came out of her throat, and her eyes cut once to her discarded robes a few feet away, to her carefully folded obi _right there_ but beyond reach unless she lunged -

"I see you remember me, little angel." The pale, ashen face gave her a wide smile, exposing white teeth. "My name is Naraku, and I'm here on behalf of Prince Sesshomaru."

 _Sesshomaru...is that...is that…_ Kagome's frantic mind was unable at this moment to even picture the face of the man she'd known as Okada, but that _had_ to be who this - this _Naraku_ \- was talking about, right?

"There's no need to be frightened, sweet child. I mean you no harm."

The man - the _creature_ \- that had kicked Kagome's face into a nest of barbed nails as she'd crouched there in the flaming ruins of her life and love and all she'd known and believed...was claiming to mean her no harm.

" _Heal yourself. Or I'll just beat you to the point of death and watch your healing powers take over involuntarily again..."_

She fought back the urge to spit at him, but she remained still, braced against the back of the tub. She curled her toes into the floor beneath the steaming water, trying to think, to plan, to _act -_

"I understand your hesitation, my dear little miko. Our last meeting was...unpleasant, wasn't it? But I swear to you, I am only here to serve you, as a guest of our beloved royal family."

" _Little girl, you should probably do what I told you and heal yourself, else you choke on your own blood..."_

"How is the bath? Sufficiently comfortable, I trust? And I do hope Kagura didn't frighten you. She's a beloved daughter to me, but she tends to act and speak before her brain catches up. Don't you, Kagura?"

Kagome gave a single sideways glance to Kagura, who sat there as she'd been for a while, staring right at Naraku with a neutral expression and rigid posture. She seemed as frightened of him as Kagome was.

"Yes, my lord," Kagura answered, seemingly automatically.

"I do hate to rush you, my lady, but Prince Sesshomaru will be wanting to greet you. Kagura."

" _I'm very sorry, Your Highness, but we are on a bit of a tight schedule, so I'll need to help this whole thing along..."_

There was a rustle of fabric as Kagura stood and stepped to the edge of the tub, holding out a white silken yukata. Kagome blinked up at her, but Kagura seemed to be pointedly staring at the floor.

"Wh-What?" was all Kagome could manage.

"Not to worry, my dear," Naraku continued, that smile never leaving his face, "You'll be back with your long-lost love soon enough. That was what you wanted, wasn't it?"

 _Think, Kagome, think think think you have to play along play along so you can get close enough, close enough to - you can't make them suspect anything yet not yet the fighting comes later -_

Kagome forced her shoulders downward, forced her horrified and defiant visage to relax, took a deep breath.

"...You're right," she said, and the shy smile was the hardest thing of all to force as she stood and exited the water. She took the robe from Kagura's hands, throwing it over her naked shoulders.

Naraku didn't politely turn away at the sight of her nudity, but she couldn't say she was surprised. If anything, the toothy grin framed by the long locks of dark hair grew even wider... _hungrier._

" _You really_ are _precious, aren't you? No wonder he's fallen all over himself for you..."_

The dark figure spoke again in that oily voice. "We're having clothes prepared for you, of course, clothes befitting your new status - "

 _New...status?_

" - but for now, you'll be a vision in gold for your fated reunion."

 _I'm in a den of monsters a hive of demons and they want to dress me up before they eat me alive -_

"Fine with me," Kagome said, fighting the trembling in her limbs as she tied the yukata shut.

Naraku kept his penetrating gaze upon her the entire time as she stood there dumbly and let Kagura help her back into her golden dress kimono. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her inner voice unable to do anything but scream in wordless terror.

Kagura seemed to be moving as quickly as possible, never once looking Kagome in the eyes again; in fact, it almost seemed as if Kagura were trying to keep her eyes _shut_. When the girl's clawed hands closed over the folded obi, Kagome was certain it was the end. But Kagura deftly moved to stand between Kagome and Naraku, hiding any glimpse of the golden dagger from sight.

 _Is she..._ helping _me?_

It wasn't possible. They were just outfitting her for torture, parading her through a sick ritual before she became the next course at an unholy feast.

"Isn't she lovely, Kagura?" Naraku crooned. "Even for a human."

"S-Sure," Kagura replied, keeping her eyes closed.

* * *

 _When in doubt, climb. Get a better perspective._

It was advice that had never failed Sango in the past.

But there was nothing. _Nothing._

She sat amongst the branches in the treetops with Kagome's abandoned bow and arrows strapped to her back, scanning the area below with growing hopelessness.

 _What do I do?_ She couldn't go back to the shogun's palace, not now, not with all that had happened. Defeat, surrender, apathy - none of these were options. Not after -

" _May the gods guide your journey and guard your steps. Safe journey, Lady Sango."_

Sango remembered his face, the anger that had turned to hurt that had turned to an ice-cold distance, and she gave a small, shuddering exhale as the tears nearly sprang forth once again.

She was about to just decide on a direction and go with it. Keep climbing trees to look around. Keep searching until she found some sign.

 _Or until the elements take me._

And then a familiar sound came from due north and made her flinch back and nearly lose her balance.

 _Howling._

 _Like wolves._

She channeled the instinctive terror into a determined rage, felt her brow furrow into a murderous glare as her hand went to the hilt of her sword.

North it was.

* * *

He was nearly sitting up now. That was good.

Never mind the wet trickles down his sides from what he knew to be his deepest wounds, now reopened.

He was hanyou, and it might take some time, but those wounds would heal again, turn into black and purple bruises, just as the shallower cuts had done already.

None of that mattered right now.

She was here, and he had to help her.

His muscles, his bones, his entire being boiled with agony. He grit his teeth, allowed himself another hiss of pain, and kept on willing himself to stand.

* * *

"Don't be nervous, sweet child," Naraku said, smiling down at her from her right.

They stood facing an ornate closed doorway, waiting for the hideous froglike monster to apparently announce their arrival.

The frog-creature reappeared then and said in his irritating squeal of a voice that they could enter now.

Naraku reached out to touch her shoulder, and Kagome did a lightning-quick sidestep, using all those reflexes she'd honed over the past several months.

"I'm not nervous," Kagome lied, keeping her hands folded demurely over the front of her obi, fingering the outline of her hidden weapon pinned in the fabric and clinging to the notion of its presence as her only solace. Her thoughts, so manic and wild and panicked before, were surprisingly blank. There was no way to speculate what awaited her through this door, except -

 _Except -_

 _His face, waiting there to see me._

But the face of the youkai sitting atop the throne at the back of the room was not the one she expected.

"Prince Sesshomaru," Naraku announced, and she could just _hear_ the satisfied smirk in his voice, "May I present the miko."

The throne's occupant sat there, reclined back casually, resting his chin in a long-fingered, claw-tipped hand. He had long silver-white hair, and the ornate robes of no less than royalty, and when he looked up and fixed Kagome with a narrow, dull gaze, she nearly cried out and took a step back.

 _Gold. Once again, gold._

The resemblance was there, to be sure. _But this isn't my - this isn't Oka - this isn't_ him.

"Approach," the youkai prince Sesshomaru said, his voice low and calm, almost _bored._

Rather than risk Naraku trying to touch her again to prod her along, Kagome immediately took hesitant steps forward, trying to force her chin upward and keeping her hand firmly over her obi.

Sesshomaru sat forward then and seemed to look her over, saying nothing. The entire room was silent, as if every youkai courtier in attendance was collectively holding their breath just as Kagome was.

 _This isn't him this is the wrong - I've been tricked and I'm going to die without - and it's all my fault -_

"Not what I expected." Sesshomaru sat back and resumed his dismissive posture as he turned to Naraku and ignored Kagome completely. "So I take it you're going to take custody of this human?"

 _No no no please no I have to fight I have to get out of here it's wrong it's all wrong and I'm going to die for_ NOTHING -

"Not at all!" Naraku said, and Kagome turned to see the sinister figure sweep into a deep formal bow. "I give her to you, Your Highness. As a token of our lasting friendship and alliance."

Kagome's eyes went back to Sesshomaru, whose face barely moved aside from a blink of those gold - _GOLD GOLD GOLD -_ eyes.

"You're giving her to me." It seemed a question phrased as a statement.

Kagome couldn't even swallow; her throat was dry and swelling.

"To do with what you wish," Naraku replied, "She wishes to see your brother again, but that's entirely up to you."

There was a smattering of hisses and growls in the demonic audience, and Kagome saw the pure hatred in their eyes as they grumbled.

Sesshomaru craned his neck to look at the crowd, and they immediately fell into a hushed silence once again.

When the youkai prince spoke again, it was measured and tranquil, even as his eyes fixed on Kagome once again and narrowed in suspicion. "She _does,_ does she?"

Kagome was learning quickly, it seemed, and she knew if she looked away now under the weight of that gaze, it would spell her doom. She realized after a moment that Sesshomaru was waiting for her to speak. "I-I do," she said, then added a quick "Y-Your Highness" that made her want to vomit and tear her own hair out.

"The power of true love," Naraku said, "In these times of war, we must cling to the spots of light in the darkness, must we not?"

The prince's stare narrowed even further as he kept his eyes locked with Kagome's. "Jaken," he said, and the frog-creature squeaked and snapped to attention beside him, "The courtiers are dismissed. Leave us."

* * *

It was dark, but it was warm and safe. She couldn't see a thing, but she felt his arms around her, smelled the earthy scent of his hair hanging around her shoulders.

"I love you so much," she said for the thousandth time, and she heard his chest rumble into her bare back as he chuckled and leaned over to place a kiss to her cheek.

She'd been right. It wasn't so bad like this, sitting here in the lull of the darkness and finding comfort in his embrace. There was nothing else here, no violating force in her mind, just _him,_ holding her close and loving her. She didn't know how long they'd been like this and she didn't care. They were making up for lost time, and it was perfect.

Until the pitch-black around them split open into a stark whiteness in the distance that made her shrink back and shield her eyes.

"What - " she said, moving her neck to look back at him questioningly, and he was _gone._ No arms held her, no sculpted chest warmed her naked back.

She cried out and scrambled about on her hands and knees, the glare of the light blinding her even worse than the peaceful darkness had, and she felt around and touched _nothing._

"No!" she screamed, "NO!"

The light _hurt,_ it hurt as if her entire body was ripped to shreds, and she felt her muscles atrophy the more she moved, the more she _searched._

"Please," she begged, falling heavily to a prone position on her stomach as the agony increased even more, "Please. No. No, bring him _back_ , leave me alone, _please_ \- "

"Oh no, little one, not yet!" The unfamiliar voice boomed and vibrated through her entire being, and she squinted and tried to roll to her side to see who it was.

"Shhhh," the voice went on, and in response she tried to scream and resist, but all that came out was a low groan that echoed through her isolated world at the same volume of the disembodied intruder.

"No, no, little one, don't. It's not time to wake up yet. Not nearly time. Nazuna, we need more…" The voice grew muffled as it went on, muffled by the ringing in her ears that was rattling her skull.

 _I don't want this I don't want this make it stop bring the darkness back bring HIM back -_

She wanted to vomit but there was nothing to bring up, nothing in her stomach, and all she could do was contort her face in a silent excruciating scream…

And then the white pain began to fade, relief washing over her in a wave, and she found her bearings enough to sit up and feel around.

"Wh-Where are you?" she begged, finding her voice again. The light was nearly gone by now, retreating into the endless distance and fading from view little by little.

There was no answer at first, and she felt a renewed stab of panic for the briefest instant before she felt a strong, calloused hand gently close over her wrist, and she was tugged forward into a passionate kiss.

" _I'm here."_ His whisper ghosted across her lips as she gave a huge elated horror and the pain and the confusion were all gone now, and as the moments passed even the memory of them crumbled away completely.

"Don't do that again," she giggled, pressing her cheek into his neck and inhaling his scent and letting him and the darkness hold her close once more.

* * *

"Now then," Sesshomaru said when the last of the room's occupants had cleared out, "Let's speak frankly. I tire of these games."

Kagome glanced at Naraku beside her. He kept his smile serene and deferential.

"You there. Human."

Kagome snapped back to attention under that penetrating golden stare. "Y-Yes?"

"Are you capable of healing just as they say you are?"

No point in lying, they already _knew_ , didn't they? "I am," she said shakily.

And then Sesshomaru's gaze was off of her and fixed onto Naraku instead. "And you, Lord Naraku," he said, raising an eyebrow, "You're just...giving her to me? As a present?"

"What else would I do with her, Your Highness?" Naraku's dark eyes gleamed nearly as brightly as the teeth in his grin. "I am a subject of your kingdom just as all others, and hoarding her would be hoarding power for myself to the detriment of our noble cause, don't you agree?"

"You intend her, of course, to be given back to my younger brother."

 _Younger brother. Younger brother. Younger brother. This is his -_

"I would never presume to - "

"But that's what you assumed would happen, correct?" Sesshomaru's lip curled into a slight imitation of a scowl.

"Only if you wish it, Your Highness. If you wish her destroyed instead, I will of course oblige."

Kagome fought the urge to jump away, to pull her weapon -

"Human." Sesshomaru was addressing her again, with an expression of thinly veiled distaste. "You came here of your own free will, without a fuss, I was told. Is that correct?"

Beside her, Kagome heard Naraku _chuckle_.

"Yes," she said, raising her head up and pushing all the confidence she could into her voice.

There was no sign in Sesshomaru's eyes that he believed her. "Lord Naraku, the kingdom thanks you for this tribute. You are dismissed."

"As always, Your Highness, it's a pleasure to serve you." Naraku bowed again without missing a beat and turned to leave.

"One more thing," Sesshomaru said, still staring daggers into Kagome but addressing Naraku all the same, "We've been unable to contact Kouga and the rest of the wolf tribe. Do you have any knowledge as to why?"

"Not at all, Your Highness. But allow me to send my own family to investigate. We'll get to the bottom of this immediately."

And with that, the door opened and shut again, leaving Kagome alone with this youkai who looked so strange and so familiar at the same time.

There was a pregnant pause broken only by the sound of footsteps retreating down the hall.

"You were enlisted in the shogunate army," Sesshomaru said finally, "Alongside my brother."

"Yes." If he was just going to kill her here, there was no way she'd be calling him such a disgusting thing as 'Your Highness.'

"As I understood it, the shogun doesn't allow women to be soldiers."

"He doesn't," she said, and when he said nothing more she realized he was waiting for her to elaborate. "I enlisted under the name of my younger brother."

"And yet, here you are, with your head still upon your shoulders." Sesshomaru reclined back in his seat once again, a hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth. "Do you have enough of a brain to see why that might give me pause?"

She fought the spark of defiant anger and kept silent.

"The shogun is a liar, and a murderer, but he's no idiot. A rare thing in your species, I'll grant, but nevertheless. I don't put it past him to send you here under orders with an objective."

"It's not true," Kagome said, but he put up a hand to silence her.

"Your _master_ , the shogun, has had a single goal for the last two decades - the annihilation of all youkai, the destruction of all you see here." The prince gestured to the aging but well-decorated surroundings. "And now, here you are, a proud _soldier_ of the shogunate, claiming that my foolish younger brother is motivation enough for you to side with your enemy."

"That's not it at all!" Kagome's words erupted forth, and her voice grew louder and louder with each sentence. "I'm not here to serve you, _Your Highness,_ and I'm not here to join your anti-human crusade. I just - I just - "

She paused, and wasn't sure whether the tears springing to her eyes were borne of anger or…

 _Or_ …

"I just...I want to see him again. What I felt...what I felt was _real,_ and I have to know if he felt the same way, or if he was just…"

Kagome trailed off and was unable to say anymore, so violent was the trembling of her body. She'd lied about the shogun, certainly, but now she was telling the truth. The complete and utter truth. The truth she'd not even dared to acknowledge in her own head.

And she wanted nothing more than to brandish that hidden dagger in her obi and slit her own throat right now.

The youkai prince gave no indication that he was moved by her tears, just regarded her in stony silence for a moment. "And if his feelings _were_ genuine? What then, human?"

 _They weren't they weren't there's no way they were that's just me lying to myself to try and rationalize this whole disgusting affair in my brain -_

"I don't know," she whispered, the honesty once again making her feel ill. _I don't know and I don't WANT to know because it'll be a lie no matter the answer it'll be another lie -_

Kagome quieted her mind by changing tactics. "Why would I agree to come here, then? Knowing you might kill me, like you want to kill _all_ of my kind?"

The prince chuckled then, though his eyes showed no humor or amusement. "Why, indeed, human. Especially if you believe us so eager for genocide."

"B-Because," she said, swallowing and taking a shaky breath, "Because I still love him, after all that's happened."

 _I still love him._

 _I still love him._

 _I still love him._

She could only whimper into the palms of her hands as she stood there, ready to fall to her knees.

Sesshomaru sat forward then, raising his clawed fingers to delicately massage his temples. "If you're telling the truth," he muttered, "then you and my foolish little brother are well-suited." His eyes flashed open and gave her another withering glare. " _If_ you're telling the truth."

She was. Oh, gods, she was.

Sesshomaru then stood from his throne and crossed towards her. She wanted to grab for the dagger but her hands wouldn't obey her -

"Come," the youkai prince said, shoving her in a half-circle turn with just the strength of a single finger and ushering her toward the door, "If you're truly sincere, I'm sure my brother won't be surprised by your demeanor, correct?"

* * *

He'd done it. He was standing.

Bracing against a bedside table with the waning strength of his one good arm, Inuyasha had just managed to struggle into a yukata and was nearly finished drawing the strings of his hakama when -

 _Sesshomaru?_

At the sight of his brother, Inuyasha's mind whirled with more questions, more demands, but the physical exertion was robbing him of mental clarity, and so he could only open his mouth over and over again like a comic fool.

And then Sesshomaru, standing in the doorway, gave Inuyasha a single narrow-eyed sniff and stepped to the right.

And all Inuyasha could do was stand there as his heart nearly stopped.

She was there. _Right there._ All five feet of her, dressed in a gold dress kimono and glowing like a star.

The moment of hesitation and silence felt like hours.

Behind Sesshomaru's shoulder, Kagome was staring at Inuyasha with that same terror, that same repulsion and utter betrayal, as she'd shown…

 _That night._ When her blue eyes had glowed with smoke and fire and tears and she'd been so afraid, _so afraid of him, and who could blame her -_

And Sesshomaru craned his neck to look back at her and suddenly Kagome's face broke into a teary-eyed, joyful _smile,_ and she gave a small cry and rushed forward and Inuyasha made to step back, to get out of the way, to run from this moment at all costs, but _I can't, not in this state_ and -

Her arms were wrapped around his waist again.

Her face was buried in his chest, tucked just below his chin like it fit perfectly there.

* * *

She'd said she still loved him and that was true but this wasn't _him_ was it, it was some sort of monster standing there with animal ears and claws sharp as razors that looked _nothing like him_ _but it does it does his face is still the same face but it's not - it's not - I'm -_

Kagome didn't dare look back at Sesshomaru standing there watching them. Doing so would look more suspicious than anything else she'd done so far.

So she just squeezed her arms around Oka - _his_ \- torso even harder. She felt his chest cave in a minute wince.

 _I hurt him. Good. Good let him hurt he deserves more than that he deserves to END for what he's done -_

She snuggled her face closer into his bare chest -

 _\- the same chest as always, same warmth, he even SMELLS the same but it's not him it's not him -_

\- and resisted the urge to scream and cry and tear at his hair, that _white_ hair hanging all around her shoulders -

 _\- you're not him you're not my Okada you never were, and I'll never let myself forget never let myself FORGIVE -_

\- as he stood there unmoving, seemingly rooted to the spot -

 _\- yeah I'd be surprised too you bastard you liar go ahead and tell him tell your brother the truth and I'll gladly welcome the end right here -_

"Kagome." His voice was a low, strained whisper.

And she froze in place, keeping her hands still.

 _The same voice the same voice the same voice -_

A clawed hand slowly rose to the side of her face, cupped her cheek and gently pulled her head back to look up at him. She didn't want to, she really, _really_ didn't want to, but…

Golden eyes stared down at her, hooded by thick dark lashes. The expression he had was sad, but accepting.

 _Knowing._

Kagome wasn't quite sure what to do in response.

"You reopened my wounds, idiot." He smiled then, no, not smiled, _smirked,_ and oh gods, there he was, there was Okada, she'd been wanting to see him for so long and now here he was but different, no matter how she fought it she knew now there was no deluding herself, this was _him_.

He leaned down then and pressed his forehead to hers in an all-too-familiar gesture, and when he pressed a chaste peck to her lips she didn't resist, not at all, and she wanted to scream and run away and die and kill all over again.

* * *

Inuyasha had known the truth before she'd forced the smile on her face.

He'd seen it in those crystalline eyes of hers, shining with fearful tears.

And he'd seen it in her trembling hands.

And despite it all, he'd shoved that fight-or-flight response back and stood there and took her in his arms and pretended it was months ago in a different place and they were different people.

Kissing her, just this once, probably the last time, was the one and only thing he could do. It made the pain disappear, even if just for a moment. He wanted to deepen the kiss, to taste her lips and tongue and really savor the moment, but he had no right. _No right to even touch her._

She let the kiss happen, but when he pulled back a half-second later, her eyes were iced over. Frozen.

"I take it you'll need some more bandages, then." Sesshomaru's voice made them both flinch just a bit, and Kagome's eyes grew terrified and full of life and energy once again. "I wondered where that _smell_ was coming from."

"Give me some credit here," Inuyasha said over Kagome's head, forcing a smile back onto his face. "I'm no medic, but I did my best."

Sesshomaru was still staring daggers into Kagome's back, arms folded over his chest. "Naraku just let me have her," he said, and Inuyasha felt his full implication behind the statement, "No fuss at all."

 _I don't care how she got here I don't care what Naraku wants not anymore I'm going to -_

"Brother," Inuyasha said, fighting to keep his voice, his _breath_ , from faltering, "Please, can we just - "

"I'll send Jaken in with some medicine. Watch yourself," Sesshomaru said, rolling his eyes and turning on his heel to disappear behind the slammed door.

 _Too late._

Now that they were no longer watched, Kagome's happy, in-love expression faded from her face, just as Inuyasha expected it would. Now there was fury and hatred and anguish, and all of it aimed at him. She loosened her tight hug around him, but kept her hands where they'd been the whole time, at the small of his back.

"If you really mean it," Inuyasha whispered, feeling himself starting to sink back into that old familiar haze, "you should twist the knife."

For a moment, she looked positively mournful, and he could almost watch the wheels turning in her head, and then her face hardened once again in a tight grimace and he knew it was coming.

She twisted it. He felt it crunch in his spine.

And as he crumpled to the floor like a sack of stones, all he could do was smile up at her.

"My name...is Inuyasha, and I love you...Kagome."

* * *

 _ **HIIIIIII!**_

 _ **So I had to chop this monster in half because keeping it going the way it was would have just MURDERED the pacing. Like, killed it stone dead.**_

 _ **...too soon? LOLOLOL**_

 _ **Yura's like I SEE NOTHING I HEAR NOTHING I'M JUST SITTING HERE KNITTING A SWEATER OK**_

 _ **Miroku's like *tattooing self* NO RAGRETS...WAIT BIG RAGRETS**_

 _ **Sango's like welcome to CSI Feudal Era Edition, also I'm sad**_

 _ **Naraku's like huehuehuehuehue (when ISN'T he like that tho)**_

 _ **Kagome and Inuyasha are just murder/suicidin' hot garbage**_

 _ **and**_

 _ **Sesshomaru is so over all this dramatic angsty bullshit (me too bro but I wrote myself into this what can I do)**_

 _ **Please leave me a review and let me know what your reactions and theories are, as always!**_

 _ **WHEEEEEEE now I'm gonna go finish the rest of this nonsense couple's therapy session so I can actually sleep properly BYEEEEEEE**_

 _ **\- meggz0rz**_


	31. Charades

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Thirty-One**

 **CHARADES**

* * *

 _ **SONGS!**_

 _ **"P.L.U.C.K." by System of a Down (this one's for poor Miroku...you'll see)**_

 _ **"World Wide Suicide" by Pearl Jam ("war is bad mkay" might as well be the moral of Oblivion at this point amirite)**_

 _ **"Good Grief" by Bastille (Kagome is about to mourn the dead all over again)**_

 _ **"I've Always Loved You" by Third Day (yes I know, Christian song and literally the only one I know lol, but think of it in terms of a parent to his - well, you'll see...)**_

* * *

"We're here," Miroku muttered to no one in particular as the caravan of horses and armor drew to a stop in the darkness.

"Officers, rendezvous with General Ibushi before we begin!" The order was given across the rows and rows of men via hushed whispers, and Miroku obligingly aimed his old nag toward the front of the garrisons.

Ibushi stood there at the edge of the cliff-face, hands on his hips, looking down at something beyond it, and when Miroku pulled up at his side, he grinned excitedly and pointed. "There it is," he said, and Miroku could just see the pinpricks of firelight and lantern glow a few hundred feet below, "The village of the kitsune monsters."

It looked...like any other village from up here. Miroku couldn't see any youkai, but he reasoned that was the darkness disguising their presence.

"Captain," Ibushi said, "you and your troops get the pleasure of seeing our shogun's true elite forces at work."

"Where do you want us?" Miroku asked automatically, ready to spare himself another blowhard speech.

"Oh, just hang back up here."

"S-Sir?"

Ibushi's yellow-toothed grin widened, illuminated by the torches all around them. "You heard me, Captain. We'll have need for your garrison once it's all over."

 _Once_ what _is all over?_

Before Miroku could open his mouth to ask, Ibushi interrupted him.

" _FIRE!"_

The blackness around them went stark white, and Miroku could barely find the wherewithal to shield his eyes and stumble back as the ground in the valley below them exploded in a cloud of smoke, ash, and flame.

With a cough, he waited for the ringing in his ears to subside…

And then the agonizing screams began.

* * *

Kagome stood there, rooted to the spot, holding the dagger in her blood-soaked hands. She kept her lips pressed together in a white line as she stared down at him, laying there in a heap at her feet.

 _I did it. I made it through a castle of monsters and talked my way inside this room, and I_ did _it. I get to die now without this poison in my veins. I can die having restored my honor as a warrior. My name will be remembered without shame by those who love me. This is a good ending for me, and this liar, this_ creature, _gets the painful end he deserves._

But why, then, did he look so accepting, so _forgiving_ , and why, gods, _why_ was he smiling up at her with such open adoration?

" _My name...is Inuyasha, and I love you...Kagome."_

Of all the things to say as a parting shot, he'd chosen to tell her his real name.

 _Don't say anything at all_ , she ordered herself. _Don't give him the satisfaction. He's manipulated you before; he's good at it. Just watch and wait and then you'll be free, just like the shogun said you would._

But...

" _My name...is Inuyasha, and I love you...Kagome."_

A thousand questions, a thousand pieces of her very being demanded answers, and she couldn't help herself.

"Y-You let me do it," she hissed, her breath coming in gentle gasps, "You didn't fight me at all." It was an accusation and a question all at once.

His - _Inu...yasha's?_ \- smile reddened and began to trickle as he balanced precariously on one trembling arm in a widening pool of his own blood, and kept his gaze locked with hers.

"Are you saying you _wanted_ me to fight back?"

His tone of voice was almost _teasing,_ and she hated it almost as much as she'd hated the previous words from his lips, and all she could think to do in reply was glare down at his vulnerable, dying form with renewed venom.

"I knew - " he went on, and here he coughed a mist of crimson onto the exposed planes of his chest beneath the open yukata, " - I knew you weren't here because you _missed_ me. I knew that was a load of shit. You're a bad liar, Kagome."

 _Well you would know wouldn't you it's all you did all you_ EVER _did -_

Kagome's swallow burned her dry throat. "You - you did this to me," she said, and there was a crack in her voice that made her wince. "You condemned me to death."

Inuyasha, _Inuyasha his name is Inuyasha Inuyasha Inuyasha, not Okada but Inuyasha,_ then took on the most sorrowful, pathetic face, his golden eyes shining with what looked like the beginnings of tears.

"I didn't know the shogun would - would go that far if he found out. Please believe me, Kagome, I never wanted - "

She flung the dagger to the floor with a loud clatter.

* * *

"Shut _UP!_ " Kagome cried, and her cold facade broke then, and she was no longer the collected shogunate assassin, but the young girl he'd met and fallen for all those months ago, hurt and confused and hysterical. "I don't want to hear anything more from you!" Her small hands curled into fists at her sides as tears began to flow from those crystal blue eyes.

Inuyasha gazed up at her helplessly, nearly losing his tenuous grip on the floor that kept him half-upright. He could feel his energy draining again with every beat of his heart, a sensation that he was all too familiar with by now.

"You came here to die," he said softly. "You don't care if you get out of here alive at all, do you?"

She gave a bitter scoff and wiped at her eyes with her sleeve. "It doesn't matter," she said, "Once you're dead, I'm free of you. However it goes after that, I don't care."

"You know they'll kill you," he pressed gently, taking a ragged breath, "When they come back and find me - find _us_ , like this - you're not leaving alive, Kagome."

"I'll be able to call myself bushi again." She said it firmly, even as the curve of her shoulders slumped downward just a bit. "I'll be remembered for the good I tried to do and not for - for - "

"Kagome." He tried again, knowing he sounded like a pathetic beggar, a coward pleading selfishly for his own life. But that wasn't what this was about. "You have to - Kagome, you have to heal me. For now. You _have_ to, or they'll - "

She just glared at him bitterly. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Just drain me to the point of death and - well, I'm dead already, aren't I? It's the mercy of my lord shogun that got me here in the first place, to break this _curse_ you put on me."

 _What is she -_

Kagome closed her eyes, and seemed to be trying to talk herself out of a panic attack as the volume of her voice grew louder and louder. "To think I thought of these powers as a blessing, and I just _used_ them, over and over again, without even thinking, because I had no idea _where they'd come from, that they were corrupt and wrong, just as you and me - together - it was corrupt and WRONG -_ "

Behind the sound of her frantic outburst, Inuyasha's ears pricked up at the sound of footfalls approaching the door.

 _Shit shit shit shit shit -_

"Kagome!" he snapped, and she paused mid-rant to glare at him questioningly.

The alarm showing in Inuyasha's eyes must have been contagious, and he saw her take a strangled, choked breath. All that resolve melted into pure fear, now that the moment of truth was upon them both, and she gave a frantic glance down at her hands, and then at his freely bleeding wound...

"Kagome," he whispered, "Please." _Not for me, not for me, please, please just do it for your own sake._

With just seconds to spare, she screwed her eyes shut again and lashed out with one hand, hovering it over his blood-soaked yukata -

But the door slid open once more with a deafening thud, making Kagome flinch back.

Sesshomaru stood there, calm as ever, taking in the whole bloody scene with his arms folded delicately across his chest. Both Kagome and Inuyasha sat in heaps on the blood-soaked floor, staring up at the imposing presence and unable to move for vastly different reasons.

"Don't let me stop you, human." Sesshomaru's eyes were glints of flame but his expression was neutral. "Fix the damage you've done."

Kagome didn't move.

"If he dies, you lose your powers, human. And then there's nothing stopping me from carving you into however many pieces I desire."

She still didn't move.

"Sh-She came here to die," Inuyasha explained for her in a quavering whisper. "She doesn't care."

"Then she's an even bigger fool than you are, little brother." Sesshomaru's smile was wide enough to actually bare his fangs a bit. This was a terrifying sign. "There's no glory in the death _I_ have planned for her, I'll guarantee that much. So make your choice, Kagome of the Higurashi clan. Do you want to die screaming and dishonor your father's memory?"

"Wh-What?" Kagome seemed completely bewildered. "M-My father - "

"I'll tell you _nothing,_ " Sesshomaru said firmly, "Until you heal him."

Kagome's hand was shaking wildly as she lowered it back over Inuyasha's midsection. Her face was white, eyes bulging with terror. Inuyasha tried to give her a reassuring smile, but she seemed determined to avoid his gaze as the pink glow appeared and stilled the air, sending cooling ministrations over his body that he knew were sealing his gaping knife wound.

After just a few seconds, she drew back as if scorched by fire, and sent Inuyasha a look that rivaled the coldest winter storm. The vines of black bruising were already appearing around her wrists and creeping up toward her elbows beneath the golden kimono sleeves.

"Is it done?" Sesshomaru asked simply.

Kagome's eyes fluttered closed once, and she hesitated, then nodded, looking disgusted with herself.

Behind her, Inuyasha saw Sesshomaru shift his stance.

"Sesshomaru," he choked, "Don't - "

Too late. His brother's hand was already wrapped around Kagome's throat, lifting her several feet off the ground.

"Poisonous wench," Sesshomaru hissed into Kagome's face, "I suspected, and now I know. You thought you were so _clever,_ didn't you, with those tears and proclamations of true love, and it was all so you could act as your shogun's puppet and finish the job that murderous bastard started _twenty years ago_ \- "

"Brother, _stop it! Let her go!_ " Inuyasha's spine was healed now, so he could spring to his feet and lunge, but his right arm still hung at his side like dead weight and threw off his balance, so when he reached Sesshomaru, all he could do was receive a rough backhand to the jaw and let himself get knocked back into the wall.

Sesshomaru, of course, wasn't bothered by this at all, and seemed to squeeze Kagome's throat tighter. Kagome, for her part, though she was whimpering and struggling, her legs kicking in a futile midair resistance, kept a ferocious look in her eyes that nearly matched the ire of the one who held her.

"No wonder Naraku turned her over so easily, brother," Sesshomaru went on, "Much easier to stage his coup with a single prince instead of two to deal with."

"Sessho - " Inuyasha threw all his weight off of his stabilizing arm and tried to lunge again, but he just collapsed in an awkward heap, bathing in a puddle of his own spilled blood.

All he could see from his vantage point now was Kagome's face, and when her eyes turned to him, the fury and defiance in her face contorted into undisguised alarm and terror. He tried to speak again, but his windpipe was blocked and all he could do was wheeze.

Sesshomaru had apparently noticed Kagome's stricken look as well, because the tone of his voice grew into an even harsher whisper. "You feign concern, now? Now that you've damn near _killed_ him? A little late for such a display, human."

 _No no no brother please leave her be don't hurt her I promised I promised myself she'd get out of here that she'd live I owe her that much -_

"Kagome," was all Inuyasha managed to slur out. He reached up one last possible time toward the both of them, silently begging, _pleading._

There was a terrifying pause, and then, suddenly, Sesshomaru released his grip and Kagome dropped unceremoniously to her feet, and she stumbled forward onto her hands and knees and suddenly Inuyasha was face-to-face with her once again, and in the swirl of frenzy, Inuyasha could only think one thing, over and over - _I love you, I love you, I love you…_

"Heal his right arm as well," Sesshomaru said from his towering height, as if he were merely conversing about the weather, "Watching him stumble about like this is just embarrassing."

Kagome's eyes flicked to Inuyasha's dead limb, and there was a flash of surprise over her face, as if she'd just now realized that -

"Kagome, no," Inuyasha said, his voice stronger and clearer now as his energy returned, "Brother, leave her, she's done what you asked, and besides, this arm is done for, the muscles are severed, it's no use - "

"Silence." Sesshomaru sent him an icy glare, then trained it again toward the back of Kagome's head. " _His arm._ "

Kagome did as she was told, and the black spirals crept from between the folds of her kimono across her collarbone, up her neck…

The torn muscles in Inuyasha's right arm were suddenly whole again, and he sprang fully upright, snarling at his older brother. "That's enough!" he snapped, leaning forward to cover her hand with his own, there on the floor, "She can't...it _hurts_ her, I'm fine, leave her be - "

Kagome, crouched there, at least looked a bit taken aback by this. Surprised, perhaps, that he was showing concern for her over himself?

 _I lied to you before Kagome, I won't do it again never again -_

As if Kagome had known exactly what he was thinking - _she'd always been pretty good at that hadn't she, even from the very start she could read me like a -_ she screwed her face up in renewed anger and outrage, then bent forward and held out her hand to a superficial scratch across Inuyasha's cheek.

The pink glow appeared, the air stilled, and the cool healing energy licked across his skin. He didn't touch the wound, he _couldn't_ , not without letting go of her hand, but he knew it was gone. Before he could say anything, she yanked her hand back out of reach.

With a spiteful curl of her lip, she peeled open the folds of her gilded kimono to show off the black bruises spreading across her sweat-sheened collarbone. She peered down at the bruises with clear revulsion and then aimed her fierce look back at him. "How many years do you think that was?" she snapped wildly, inclining her chin to indicate. "How much time did that one little cut of yours take from me? How much for your arm? Or your spine?"

"What are you - " Inuyasha frowned up at her, momentarily distracted from the dizziness of exsanguination.

"Years off my life, every time," she said, as if she had forgotten Sesshomaru was even there and was content to just scream at Inuyasha with that humorless grin corrupting her sweet face, "You had to have known that, right? That the moment we - _you_ \- "

 _Her healing powers...the bruises..._ Inuyasha suddenly realized what she was trying to say, and the horror of the revelation sent a chilling numbness through his body that seemed unrelated to Kagome's power coursing through his veins. "Years off your life?"

"The gods' punishment, wouldn't you say?" Kagome laughed harshly. "For me, laying with a - a - " She didn't finish, just washed her wild, terrified gaze over him, and he knew she was taking in the doglike ears, the claws...all of it.

 _Kagome…_

He _repulsed_ her. All of him was offensive. Disgusting.

"Let me guess," Sesshomaru cut in, and she jumped; she really _had_ forgotten he was there, hadn't she? "Your lord shogun told you this, did he not?"

"Yes," Kagome snapped, "He told me what happened to me and how to cure it." The look she sent Inuyasha was once again frozen and unfeeling. "'Slay the monster who gave you this curse, and your honor will be restored.'"

 _Monster._

 _Repulsive. Offensive. Disgusting._

Inuyasha was unable to say anything in response.

Sesshomaru, however, was having no such trouble. "That man dares speak of honor," he chuckled, "after all that he's done to so many innocents? Human self-delusion never ceases to amaze me."

" _Innocents?"_ Kagome exclaimed, rounding on Sesshomaru and speaking harshly. "The blood spilled is on _your_ hands, youkai."

"Is it, indeed?" Sesshomaru gave another laugh under his breath, completely unthreatened. "So it was _us_ who broke the truce of two decades, was it? It was _us_ who brought your father to his untimely end?"

 _Her father?_

Kagome recoiled as if she'd been slapped across the face. "Don't mention my father as if you _know_ him," she cried, "Don't pretend you - "

"Kazuchika of the Higurashi clan."

She'd been wavering on the spot, clearly exhausted from healing Inuyasha, but it seemed that those five words from Sesshomaru's lips were finally what it took to send her pitching forward in a dead faint.

Inuyasha acted on instinct, catching her around the waist and bracing her against his chest, ignoring the scent, the closeness, that threatened to break his soul into splinters again.

* * *

Kagome was only out for a few seconds, and awoke to the sensation of two strong and muscled arms, whole once more, holding her closely to a firm, bare chest. The familiar warmth and scent invaded her senses once again, and so she managed a weak cry of wordless protest and tried to wriggle away, but it seemed her strength was truly sapped now.

"Kagome." She heard her name spoken so low and gently, felt a warm hand close over her cheek, and she dared not open her eyes to break the illusion, not now, _just a little longer…_

Sesshomaru spoke from behind her. "Inuyasha, perhaps you should put her to bed right now. As it is currently, she's not in any state to listen, don't you agree?"

The arms wrapped around her tightened a bit, and she couldn't see Inuyasha's face but she could hear his response. "She's been through worse than this and come out fighting. She can handle whatever you throw at her." There was a tinge of pride, and the voice was strong and firm and declarative where just moments ago he'd been gasping out his final breaths.

She hadn't managed to kill him; she'd just ended up restoring him to his whole self instead.

And now both youkai princes were free to do with her just what they wished.

 _This is it. I've failed. I'll die here, still cursed, still tainted_ -

 _My father was killed by youkai, that's obvious, why did I even think - why did I even_ doubt _for a second -_

 _How did Sesshomaru know his_ name?

"Right, Kagome?"

Hearing her name over and over again in _that_ voice...gods, it was torture worse than any creative physical punishment Sesshomaru could have dreamt up, wasn't it?

All she could do was crumple her face into a defeated grimace and nod.

* * *

Sesshomaru stared down at both of them, not a shred of sympathy on his face. "She's a shogunate agent, and a pawn of Naraku besides, unwilling or not. If I hadn't intervened, she would have watched you bleed to death, and relished in it."

Inuyasha held Kagome's limp form and glared up at his brother. "She's completely justified to want me dead, after what I did to her."

"Martyrdom is quite the look on you, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said with a sneer, "So emotional. So _human_."

Inuyasha growled low in his chest, absently tightening his hold on Kagome's tiny waist and pulling her closer to better cover her with his own body. "Don't change the subject," he snapped, "She deserves the answers you promised her. And I deserve a few of my own, don't I? I'm sick and tired of you being a mysterious asshole and keeping everything to yourself."

To his surprise, Sesshomaru seemed a bit _pleased_ with this response, and so crossed to the one remaining chair in the room that Inuyasha hadn't splintered and took a relaxed seat. "Very well, then," he said calmly, "But perhaps you should start, Inuyasha."

"Me?"

"She's right there, sitting in your lap. Why don't you tell her exactly who you are? The grand tale of your...complicated heritage."

 _Oh, wait, she's probably uncomfortable being held like this, isn't she, I have no right to touch her so closely, do I -_

Inuyasha quickly stood, scooping her in his arms, and laid her on the ruined mattress, propping her in an upright position as best he could. Kagome said nothing, just looked pointedly away from him with a coldly neutral expression, as he maneuvered her clearly exhausted arms and legs into place. She didn't turn her head back to the center of the room until he had finished and retreated back several steps to kneel on the bloodstained, filthy floor, and even then she still refused to look him in the eye.

He knew the disgust and hatred in her face was completely justified, and yet it still threatened to break his spirit in two as he struggled to find the words to begin.

"Kagome," he said slowly, "My name is Inuyasha." _And I love you,_ he wanted to say again, but he couldn't, not now, not in this moment… "I'm the Second Crown Prince of the Western Lands. My father was the Inu no Taisho. My mother...my mother was Princess Izayoi."

Kagome showed no reaction, no recognition of the name, and Inuyasha found himself wondering just how much his mother's very existence had been wiped from the humans' history. He had to fight the instinctive anger over it so he could keep going.

"Izayoi, only daughter of Lord Oda Tanahashi. Princess of the Ashikaga Shogunate."

Kagome showed a reaction to _that._

* * *

 _What wouldn't I give for my bone boomerang right now,_ Sango thought wildly as she raced through the thicket with Kagome's weapons on her back and her borrowed sword colliding heavily with her hip.

The howls were getting louder now…

She was making sure to stay downwind as best she could. They'd smell her ahead of time, for certain, being animalistic beasts, but she could at least make it as difficult as possible.

When sensed that she was close enough, she once again scrambled up the trunk of a tree and climbed out on a limb to better assess the situation.

Balancing on the tips of her feet, she fumbled for Kagome's quiver. She was far better at hand-to-hand than archery, but she was still a fair enough shot to kill a few wolves before they traced her location, and thinning the numbers would be critical.

She nocked an arrow, but kept the bowstring slack as she scanned the snowy clearing below.

"Honestly, all of you! Sitting here howling and carrying on when there's still not even a body to mourn!"

The gruff voice made Sango frown in surprise, and she crept further out on the branch to get an even better look, taking care to keep herself shielded behind the dense foliage.

A squat elderly woman stood there in front of the mouth of a cave, her hands sternly on her hips. She was overlooking an absolutely _enormous_ pack of wolves, more than Sango had ever seen in one place before.

Sango felt that instinctive fear and terror threaten to take over, but she thought of Kagome and drew strength from it, keeping herself calm and steady-handed.

She drew the bowstring back...aimed it at a red-furred wolf near the center…

 _Fire._

* * *

"Wh-What?"

 _The_ shogun? _His...daughter...is -_

No. It wasn't true. Another lie to trick her with. She should have known. "The shogun's daughter was raped," she hissed, "Violated. By a _youkai_. The curse she carried was the same as mine, and it ended up destroying her mind and leaving her an empty shell. The shogun already told me everything."

"As much as the notion bewilders me to this day," Sesshomaru cut in smoothly, raising an eyebrow to accompany his pointed look in her direction, "I can assure you, there was no _rape_ involved. Our father fell in love with her, and she with him. They married. She got pregnant."

Kagome recoiled back into the pillows as if she'd been punched in the chest. "No," she said, "No human woman can birth a youkai child. We're different species entirely; the children can't survive - "

"Is that what he told you?" Sesshomaru said with a harsh chuckle, "If so, what he meant was that he wouldn't _allow_ them to survive."

At those words, Inuyasha clearly flinched, and Kagome's eyes automatically followed the motion. She took in the sight of him as if it were the very first time - the white hair, the clawed fingers, and those eyes of spun gold, so otherworldly and yet so full of emotion…

 _Human_ emotion.

 _No, no, no, no, NO -_

"I see you're beginning to understand, human. Lady Izayoi is dead, but not by any youkai hand. And if the shogun had had his way - "

" - my grandfather would have killed me too," Inuyasha finished, his brow furrowed in anger, his hands clenched into tight fists atop his knees.

 _Grandfather grandfather he's your_ grandfather _the shogun is your - and your mother was -_

Kagome was beginning to feel very faint again, but she managed to keep herself together, if only just. "No," she protested again weakly, "The shogun is a man of great honor, to be respected and revered, he thinks only of protecting our people - "

"Kagome." Inuyasha's whisper made her fall silent. He was looking at her with such clear sadness and sympathy, _sympathy,_ in the midst of all this, _sympathy_. "I'm so sorry."

She opened her mouth to speak again, shut it, opened it again, shut it again. _It can't be true, it just_ CAN'T -

"Don't apologize to her," Sesshomaru grumbled irritably, folding his arms across his chest and tossing his silver-white locks of hair over one shoulder. "She wanted the truth, didn't she? You said she could handle it, correct? Well, the truth is that the man she's spent her entire life worshipping, the man she serves so vigorously, is the sort of man who forces his own daughter to kill her youkai husband under the condition that he'll spare her unborn child. The sort of man who, in the next breath, orders the hanyou child cut from his daughter's womb and disposed of anyway."

Kagome's weakened muscles suddenly found strength enough to lurch her forward in her seat, and she dug her fists into the tatters of the mattress as she gagged and heaved. Her stomach was empty, so all she did was spasm and gasp, but it was getting harder and harder to get a breath of air in -

 _It's not true. It can't be true. It can't be. They're lying to me, they're youkai, it's what they do, isn't it?_

 _But that's exactly what the shogun would say._

"Sesshomaru, stop it." Inuyasha's voice once again rang through her racing thoughts, and she glanced up in the throes of her dry heaves to see him sitting up taller and sending his older brother a fierce glare. "That's too much."

"I-If he did that," Kagome murmured, grasping at anything and everything she could to protect herself, "he must have - "

No, she couldn't say it, she couldn't say that he must have _had a reason for it_ , there was no reason for it, not a reaction such as _that_ -

She doubled over again, collapsing into wild, throaty coughs, the sweat running down her temples and plastering her dark hair to her face.

"No," she tried again, this time staring right into Inuyasha's golden eyes and shaking her head vigorously, "If it happened, how did you - how are you even - "

Inuyasha seemed to understand, as he nodded and spoke gently.

"My grandfather gave me to one of his most trusted officers and told him to get rid of me outside the palace walls. He didn't want me seen by anyone else, I guess. Not with, well, you know." He shrugged a shoulder up at his doglike ears, held up a claw-tipped hand to illustrate. "Or maybe even _he_ had enough decency in him to not kill me in front of my mother. It would have been the last thing she'd ever seen alive."

He averted his gaze from hers then, a bitter smile curling his lips. "I'd like to think that last one is true, but…" He trailed off, staring down at his open palm on his lap.

Kagome's chest swelled with a sharp, stabbing pain. All she could do was stare at him with renewed horror, but now it had little to do with his inhuman appearance.

* * *

Inuyasha could only sit there helplessly and watch Kagome take in the revelations, watch her body shake violently, watch her face contort into spastic sobs that seemed unable to produce actual tears. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to go to her, to take her in his arms and comfort her and tell her it would all be alright.

 _But I don't have the right to,_ he told himself for what seemed the millionth time tonight. _And how can I tell her it will be alright when I've sworn never to lie to her again?_

No one spoke for several minutes. Sesshomaru sat there, reclined back comfortably in the only chair in the room, looking quite disinterested at how traumatic it all seemed to be for the small human girl, sitting there, wearing a blood-spattered gold kimono and cowering from the world she'd known exploding violently all around her.

Finally, the panicked gasps quieted somewhat, and Kagome seemed to find her voice again. "So the shogun's servant failed to k-kill you," she whispered, staring up at him with heavy-lidded eyes, as if her exhaustion had returned all at once and was getting the better of her.

"He refused to," Inuyasha said, and he couldn't help the small, fond smile as he related the story aloud. "He went straight to Sesshomaru and handed me over, and I was kept secret from the humans ever since."

"A human...allied with the _youkai?_ " Kagome looked stunned at the notion, as if it were unthinkable. "Over his own shogun?"

"Did no one ever teach you your own _family history_ , human?" Sesshomaru snapped.

Both Inuyasha and Kagome turned to stare at him, and Inuyasha saw out of the corner of his eye that Kagome looked just as confounded as he felt.

Sesshomaru's disdainful look was now aimed squarely at Inuyasha. He sneered. "You mean to tell me even _you_ haven't managed to put the pieces together yet? Am I really going to have to spell it out for you, fact by fact?"

"What the hell are you - " Inuyasha barked, but Sesshomaru held up a hand for silence with a heavy, exasperated sigh.

"The man who rescued you, brother. What was his name?"

Inuyasha frowned. "Kazu," he said promptly.

And then it hit him.

"Yes, Kazu." Sesshomaru swiveled in his seat to face Kagome now. "Or, rather, Kazuchika."

Kagome's eyes widened and her face blanched. "K-Kazuchika - "

"Ah, _there_ we go. Yes, human. Kazuchika of the clan Higurashi. The man who saved my infant half-brother, who saved countless lives, both human and youkai, from war for a full two decades. You didn't think the truce was negotiated by your _shogun,_ did you?"

* * *

The arrow hit its mark.

A thunk, a yelp, and then a cacophony of snarls and growls erupted, and the world below Sango turned into ferocious chaos.

Gritting her teeth, she reached for another arrow from the quiver, ready to pick off their numbers as much as she could before taking her assault to the forest floor -

"Enough!" The creaky, elderly voice spoke again, and everything fell silent, and Sango suddenly _couldn't move, not a bit._

She was frozen in place as if she'd been encased in ice, but the ice was pink, and it _glowed…_

Sango couldn't even scream as she was pulled from the tree by some unseen force, down towards the old woman…

Towards all those wolves, ready to _pounce_...

* * *

"...To protect Inuyasha, he and I both negotiated the truce without the shogun's knowledge. That's why we're here in the first place, beyond a spiritual barrier, beyond the knowledge and interest of any human settlements." Sesshomaru paused then, and when he continued, there was an uncharacteristic bitterness to his low voice. "We gave up our ancestral lands to live in peace, and in the end all that happened just delayed the inevitable. For us, and for Kazu."

Kagome had been unwilling or unable to cry throughout the duration of this entire fucked-up conversation, but now, with both her hands clapped over her gaping mouth hard enough to hurt, she suddenly felt the tears begin to prickle and stream.

 _Papa…_

Kagome had grieved him so fiercely when they'd been told the news by a solemn man in officer's armor who had arrived at their front door on a summer's day like any other. He'd had a letter of condolences, penned in black script by the shogun personally.

A sudden youkai ambush, they were told. Body burnt to a crisp, her father's handsome face unrecognizable and blackened.

The news had changed her from a child to a young woman in the span of a day. It had strengthened her fear of youkai into a repulsed hatred.

And now, learning the truth that her father had so carefully hidden...it was like losing him a second time, and then a third. Losing the idea of the father she thought she'd known so well. Losing all the chances she might have had to better understand him, if she'd only _known._

She remembered the last conversation she'd had with her grandfather, just before she'd made an impulsive decision that had both made her whole and shredded her to splinters.

They'd been talking about her father, dead for mere months at that point.

 _What had Grandfather said?_

" _He returned from an almost-certain suicide mission in the last youkai war, with every last man still alive and mostly unharmed. He cared more for his men than he did himself."_

It seemed that was truer than Grandfather had ever imagined.

And her father had never told a soul, never let on for a moment that he was responsible for the peace Kagome and Sota had known for the entirety of their lives…

Until a few months ago, that was.

When she looked up at Inuyasha, seemingly out of instinct rather than forethought, she saw that his eyes were brimming with tears as well.

"Now that I've cut through the foolishness…" Sesshomaru stood, apparently ready to take his leave. "Inuyasha, she's to remain in here with you. Naraku made it clear that that was his design, so once again, we'll make him think we're giving him just what he wants."

"Wh-Why does he want me to - " Kagome started, but Sesshomaru ignored her.

"What if he wanted her to kill me?" Inuyasha pointed out.

"If that was the case, we'll find out soon enough, won't we?" Sesshomaru placed a hand on the doorframe and stopped, turned back. "In any case, I'd keep any sharp objects out of reach for the time being, in case this little human decides that her so-called honor as a samurai still takes precedence over her father's legacy."

Kagome flinched, and next to her, Inuyasha seemed to bristle with anger, but Sesshomaru was gone and the door was shut before he could open his mouth to answer back.

* * *

Sango crumpled to the snowy ground, still held immobile by whatever dark magic was at work. All she could do was stare in horror at the old woman at whose feet she had landed.

The woman had her arms raised high above her short stature, and from her hands emanated that familiar pink glow - _no not just familiar, the_ same, _it's the same as Kagome's -_ around Sango, around all the wolves, including the one Sango had just struck down, holding everything still.

"That wasn't a wise decision, was it?" The old woman rolled her one good eye and shook her head at Sango with a disappointing air. "These children aren't doing a thing besides mourning their fallen masters. What gives you the right to try and harm them?"

Sango would have answered but found that she couldn't, and that seemed to suit the old woman just fine.

"It's alright, I'm taking care of it," the old bag grumbled, nodding at the wounded wolf in the midst of the pack. Sango watched in shocked silence as the arrow seemed to _back its way out_ of the wolf's hindquarters, and the hole it left behind closed over with skin and then fur as if nothing had ever happened. "But really, what a way for a young lady to behave! When I was your age, we thought before attacking. Such are the violent, misguided times we live in, I suppose."

A voice called out, likely from within the cave given the echo, but Sango couldn't see to confirm. "Lady Kaede, I heard a - is everything alright?"

"Everything's just fine, Nazuna. Keep your mind on your work. A task such as ours requires all the power we have to give." There was a marked pause as the old woman eyed Sango warily.

"I'm going to release my hold on you now," she said, "as well as my hold on them. They won't attack, and I expect you to do them the same courtesy. Or you'll see just how tough an opponent I can be, girl of Taijiya."

The rose-colored grip around her body eased enough for Sango to be able to give a weak nod.

* * *

The silence in the room was so horrific and oppressive that Inuyasha wanted to slice it in twain with a growl, a scream, _anything._ Kagome remained on the tattered mattress, curled in upon herself and trembling.

 _Kazu was your_ father, Inuyasha thought but didn't say aloud, the awe of it all churning and mixing with renewed heartbreak in his head. He sat back on his heels and ran his hands up his face, fisted them in the crown of his hair, drew them back down to press them over his eyes.

The one and only human he'd ever known to show him any mercy, the only human he'd ever spoken to before the start of that doomed undercover mission...was also the reason Kagome existed.

The man who'd saved him from the same fate as his parents, the man whose murder had finally spurred Sesshomaru to retaliate against the human attacks and break the truce...was the father of the woman Inuyasha loved with his entire being. The woman he'd _broken_ so horrifically with a betrayal of the worst kind.

He'd never known Kazu's family name. He'd never even bothered to ask.

 _The gods_ are _laughing at us. That has to be it, right?_

With a small growl of frustration, he batted the tears from his eyes and looked up to find his gaze matched by Kagome's large blue ones.

"He wasn't killed by youkai." Kagome suddenly spoke, her voice a soft murmur. "Was he." It was said flatly. Not a true question, at least not one she didn't seem to already know the answer to.

He spoke as gently as possible. "No."

"Do you know - " Kagome's eyes fluttered closed and she swallowed, appearing to steel herself up for whatever answer was coming, "Do you know - _how...why?_ "

"Only guesses," Inuyasha murmured, "He made it back to the shogun's palace safely; we would have smelled an ambush in the woods. So they must have found him out somehow and - " At her renewed tears, he stopped himself from continuing.

"- and executed him," Kagome finished, her voice muffled behind her hands.

"That's the part that still fucks with me, though," Inuyasha growled, glaring at the bloodstained floor at his feet and unable to keep from fidgeting with irritation and frustration. "He was always so _careful._ He kept it up for twenty years. Not even his wife - " he glanced up at Kagome again, and she looked stricken once more, " - your mother - even _she_ had no idea. What _changed?_ What _happened?_ "

Kagome stared down at her hands in her lap, still crying silently.

Inuyasha couldn't help himself; he reached for her from his kneeling position beside the ruined bed. "Kagome, I - "

She recoiled and shoved herself back a foot without even looking up. "Please," she said, and there was no revulsion in her voice now, just a defeated, exhausted sadness. "Please...don't touch me."

* * *

Kagura managed to catch Sesshomaru in the hallway, but as she was flanked by both Bankotsu and Mukotsu, all she could do was avert her eyes from his and bow out of his path.

He seemed calm. _So perhaps it all went according to...whatever plan he had in his head._

"Out of my way," Sesshomaru grumbled dismissively, and he seemed to be avoiding her in his line of vision just as she was doing to him, and then he was around the corner, and Bankotsu and Mukotsu felt free to snicker to themselves.

" _Kagura...come to my side."_

It thundered through her head and she fought back the instinctive shudder. " _I'm coming, Father,"_ she sent back quickly.

When she reentered Naraku's suite of rooms, she found him there, sitting in his chair and smiling at her almost...sadly?

The alarm bells were clanging in her mind, of course, and she was certain for a second there she visibly stiffened in place, but what more was there to do than act as normally as possible?

"My beautiful girl," Naraku said, holding out a white hand for her to take as she approached, "The youngest and brightest of our family. I have treasured you so."

Kagura mutely knelt beside him and placed her head upon his thigh, as she knew he liked. She felt delicate fingers combing through her hair, and audibly sighed to indicate contentment, also just as she knew he liked.

"It's a shame you're a treacherous little slut, isn't it?"

Kagura didn't even have time to scream before the hand was over her mouth, choking her. She flailed about, trying to twist out of his grasp, but it was no use, no use at all -

There was a joyous shriek of laughter that could only have been Yura, as the iron grip of Naraku's hand dragged Kagura's head up, up, up until her face was inches from his.

"You tried so hard to keep it from me, didn't you, my love? Your little _secret love affair._ But all for naught, I'm afraid. Sesshomaru betrayed you and gave you right up."

 _No, no he didn't, he WOULDN'T have, don't listen, Naraku lies he lies he ALWAYS lies -_

"It's been ages since you've had the honor of my embrace, hasn't it, my sweet girl?"

 _Gods please no just let me die let him kill me first before he -_

"I promised you it wouldn't be necessary anymore if you didn't wish it, so loyal and well-behaved you were. But I fear now is the time to break that promise, my love."

 _Sesshomaru PLEASE, PLEASE COME NOW, HE KNOWS AND HE'S ABOUT TO -_

As the paralysis of fear overtook her, Kagura remembered far too late that it wasn't _Sesshomaru's_ mind that could link with hers, not _his_ , but…

The knowing grins of the entire "family" gathered around her, wide and hungry.

And as Naraku pressed his hand to Kagura's temple and she gave her first forced, orgasmic cry, the smile never left his face.

* * *

 _ **Wellp. Now someone ELSE is in trouble YAYYYYYY**_

 _ **Miroku was previously unaware his fun cool spy mission involved weapons of mass destruction**_

 _ **Sango did a shoot first ask questions later and got a stern lecture from a magical grandma and now she has to like, pet the wolves and make friends I guess**_

 _ **Inuyasha can't figure out how to help Kagome or himself and has a sad about it**_

 _ **Kagome realizes her dad was just HONESTLY PAUSE CAN I GUSH ABOUT PAPA HIGURASHI AND WHAT A GOOD DUDE HE WAS AND I SWEAR TO GOD WRITING THIS MADE ME ALL TEARY AND I WANNA HUG MY DAD SO BAD RN WAAAAH but yeah her dad was super dope and not evil and when people aren't evil I think we should give them props so PROPS PAPA HIGS**_

 _ **Sesshomaru is SO DONE WITH THIS COUPLE'S THERAPY SESSION I SWEAR TO GOD LOL. "Just fucking GET OVER YOUR SHIT you IDIOTS" - Sesshomaru 2019**_

 _ **Kagura...well...let's not go there. DON'T EVEN PICTURE IT IN YOUR HEAD. DON'T. NO, I SAID DO NOT.**_

 _ **Please let me know theories/reactions as usual! Love y'all to bits!**_

 _ **-meggz0rz**_


	32. Confrontations

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Thirty-Two**

 **CONFRONTATIONS**

* * *

 _ **SONGS**_

 _ **"Soldier Side" by System of a Down (a LOT of their songs are about genocide so expect more of these in the future, anyway this one's for Miroku of course)**_

 _ **"Tokyo Ghoul" by Highly Suspect feat. Young Thug ("SO MANY PEOPLE JUDGE ME, BUT WOULD THEY FOLLOW ME TO MY GRAAVE" yep for Inuyasha you guessed it good job)**_

 _ **"Psychosuperlover" by Night Club ("Did I get what you think I deserve, do you feel pleasure baby when I get hurt" Learning the truth does NOT make Kagome's feelings about all this mess any less bitter or complicated sorryyyyyy)**_

 _ **"Another Place" by Bastille and Alessia Cara (InuKag duet basically. "In another place, in another time, what could we have been..." NO I'M NOT CRYING IT'S ALLERGIES)**_

* * *

Miroku could only cough and blink, so thick was the smoke in the air, so _loud_ were the screams.

 _What are they doing what have they done what WAS that -_

Gripping the handle of his sword, he went to step forward, to glimpse over the cliff's edge, but Ibushi held out a hand to stop him.

"I'd wait for just a moment," he said, and his casual tone was absolutely chilling. "The extermination fumes can be a bit much; take it from someone who's smelled a _good deal_ of roasted youkai flesh."

 _Roasted...flesh…_

Miroku swallowed so he wouldn't scream or throw up. _Gods above me, this was never what I -_

The screams and wails continued, but they were steadily growing quieter, and he knew if he thought too much about it he would likely lose hold of that tenuous grip on his sanity, and so he tried to think of Sango instead, tried to escape into a happy memory, and it didn't _work,_ he couldn't even picture her _face_ without the image _surrounded by flames, as she screamed in vain -_

"Hmmm," Ibushi said, placing his hands on his hips again and turning back to the next-in-command of his own garrison of troops, "I'd say that's another job well done, wouldn't you?"

Behind his back, Miroku heard some of the men _chuckling_.

"That's your cue, priest - oh, I mean, _Captain._ " Ibushi gave him another dark yellow grin. "Get your men down there and pick off the stragglers."

"How is this warfare?" Miroku bit the words out, his eyes fixed on the rising columns of acrid smoke. "How is this _honorable?_ How is this _possibly_ any form of _bushido?_ "

Ibushi's horrendous smile only slipped a fraction. "Oh, I'm sorry. Your ears are still ringing, aren't they? I gave you your orders and you apparently heard a call to be _insubordinate_ , did you?"

Now, _now_ Sango's face was the only thing he could see, but she was still crying in terror at the flames all around her; she was going to burn to death and she knew it, and _he_ knew it by her tearful expression -

"I'm sorry, sir," Miroku said quickly, stronger and clearer and more self-assured. "You're right, my apologies. I never should have questioned your wise decisions or your tactics. The shogun will be very proud."

"He will indeed, with or _without_ your assistance," Ibushi growled, "So I suggest you provide the assistance I ordered."

"Understood. Come on, men," Miroku said automatically, amazed at how calm he suddenly sounded, and they made their slow, perilous descent down the path toward the valley below.

* * *

Being more or less imprisoned in his bedroom with the only girl he'd ever loved, the only girl he knew he _would_ ever love, would have sounded irresistible to Inuyasha under any other circumstances.

From the moment Sesshomaru had left them there, he'd wanted nothing more than to look at Kagome, to speak to her, to further explain himself and help her understand.

But he knew that was the last thing she needed right now; _he_ was the last thing she needed right now.

Kagome seemed to be taking the revelations - the revelations that all she'd known had been a lie, that the truth was the opposite of what she'd believed or _wanted_ to believe - with a remarkable dignity. She hadn't broken down again or let herself scream, and he knew she wanted to.

But as it was, all _he_ had to contend with was even more crushing silence. They both seemed unwilling or unable to sleep yet, tired as he knew they were, and so all they could do was stare into space and completely ignore each other's presence.

Finally, after what felt like _hours_ but probably wasn't more than several successive minutes _,_ Inuyasha, who had never been known for patience anyway, could stand it no longer, and he slowly edged himself up onto the shredded mattress beside her.

"You were sent here to kill me," he said, knowing he sounded stupidly casual given the weight of the situation between them but unable to help himself. "By the shogun. So your powers would disappear. I didn't know that was how it worked, but I suppose that man would know better than anyone else."

Kagome's head snapped around in surprise, and her expression was a strange mix of bitterness and what suspiciously looked like _embarrassment._

"You _know_ I didn't know, right?" he barrelled on at full speed, feeling a strange sympathetic heat rise to his own cheeks, "That I was the source of your powers awakening. If I'd known, I never would have - "

"Only because you'd have been _caught_ ," she interrupted dismissively. "Because it would have compromised your cover the second we returned to the shogun's palace and my powers' existence was discovered. They'd have immediately asked me who my lover was, and there was no one but you."

"I would never have gone there as Okada," he muttered, trying to temper the growing rage in his mind. "Naraku's attack on Ryusei changed everything, and I was caught unaware, because I was blind and stupid. But if that hadn't happened, I still would have been long gone from my assignment by the time the troops were ordered back to the shogun's palace. Sesshomaru's no idiot; he knew I'd have blown my own cover just to get a shot at killing that man myself. He'd have ordered me home as soon as the news broke."

Kagome's lips thinned into a tight line. "And so, once again, you prove me right. You were only thinking of yourself, the entire time. You'd have just disappeared on me without a word, leaving me to mourn you or to try and search for you or gods know what else. Either way, my feelings were the _lowest_ of your priorities, weren't they?"

He already regretted impulsively raising the subject, he was hating himself all over again and with greater fervor, but Inuyasha owed her answers at the very least, didn't he?

And besides, Inuyasha found himself almost happy about the prospect of fighting like this. When she was fighting him, she was like the old Kagome, the one made of fire and ferocity and passion.

"I was trying to tell you the truth," he said, both baiting her into anger and genuinely voicing his own defense, "I was trying to do the right thing."

" _After_ you took me into your bed, of course. _After_ it was already too late." The steel in her voice, the sarcasm, the disparaging look in her eyes…

 _I did this to you. I made you like this, didn't I?_

"I never counted on meeting you," Inuyasha bit back, "I never expected to find myself in this situation."

"Well, that's _one_ thing we can agree on." She sat back up then, her spine a straight line. "I would think if _I_ were a spy, I'd at least have the moral fortitude to keep my hands off the enemy soldiers."

"I seem to remember trying to step away from you on more than one occasion." Now he was being truly defensive, but damn it, this needed to be said. "And you called me a coward and tried to physically fight me in the forest. Remember that? You weren't exactly willing to take 'no' for an answer."

It was a cheap shot, but it got the result he wanted; the pink returned to Kagome's cheeks, as did the inferno behind her blue eyes. "You - you - I - "

"So go ahead," he barrelled on, "Tell yourself that I just seduced you under false pretences for the fuck of it. To be the evil manipulative bastard that you see me as. But you have to know, deep down, that what we did, what happened to _both_ of us...it was _real._ "

"Real?" Kagome gave an exaggerated scoff. "How could any of it be real when you were lying to me from the beginning, about _EVERYTHING?_ That's not love, that's - "

"It's not what you expected when you thought about love as a kid, that's what you mean," he interrupted, knowing he was getting nastier, but _by all the gods she's actually talking to me she's fighting back she's still there she's still Kagome,_ "You thought I was perfect, that I could do no wrong. Well, guess what, Kagome? I can do wrong, and I did. And I'll never stop being sorry about it. You thought you were in love with Okada, and you got me instead."

At the false name, she flinched, and Inuyasha nearly faltered, nearly took it back. But then she sprang to her feet, seething with newly renewed rage, fists clenched, and he stood up to stare her right in the face. They remained motionless, standing there next to that shredded, bloody mattress.

"So," Inuyasha said finally, "I'll get you out of here, and you can live the rest of your days and never think of me again." _If that's really what you want,_ he almost added, but stopped himself.

"Fine," Kagome said, and from the look on her face that was _exactly_ what she wanted. He tried not to show any disappointment on his face; he'd expected to feel disappointment, after all.

A knock on the doorframe made them both jump and take a step backward, and Inuyasha realized just how closely together they'd been standing seconds before as he shook himself out of it and barked out, "Who is it?"

"It's Jaken, m-milord Inuyasha. Prince Sesshomaru sent me to - to bring you and your human - I mean, your _lady_ \- a tub of bathwater so you can both...clean yourselves up."

Inuyasha looked at Kagome. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "We have to - "

Kagome, still looking utterly furious, gave a tiny sigh and a brief nod to acknowledge that she understood what they were meant to do, how they were meant to behave.

As gently as he could, he held out his hand, and she seemed to let herself grimace just once to get it out of her system before she took it and let him pull her into an imitation of an amorous embrace.

"We're a little busy here," Inuyasha grumbled for effect, completing the illusion by lacing his fingers through the hair at the nape of Kagome's neck and leaning in close as if he were lavishing kisses to the side of her throat.

 _She smells the same, the exact fucking_ same _-_

"I-I understand, milord," Jaken called through the screen, sounding nervous and scandalized, "but Prince Sesshomaru gave me very strict orders, and - "

Kagome looped her free arm around Inuyasha's waist and stepped closer into the embrace, hiding her face in his shoulder.

 _Just as she'd done a dozen, no, a hundred times before, back when I was Okada and she thought I was worth it -_

"Alright, fine, get in here." Inuyasha was just able to keep his voice from sounding like a pathetic creak.

 _The gods really do have the cruelest sense of humor, don't they?_

He resumed the false kisses against her neck and made certain not to stop as he heard the imp's light footsteps sound across the floor.

"O- _Oh._ " It seemed Jaken had taken in the full extent of the bloody destruction around them. "Y-Your Highness, do you require - "

Inuyasha feigned irritation at being interrupted as he pulled back from Kagome just slightly and craned his neck to answer. "No, I don't need medical attention," he said, leaning in to nuzzle his forehead against Kagome's, "We just got a bit overexcited, that's all, and my wounds reopened. Lady Kagome's healing powers solved all of it."

He sent her a knowing smirk, and he knew she probably wanted to grind her heel into his foot, but she played along and smirked right back, playing the part of the sensual maiden even better than he'd expected.

"I was also told to bring in a new mattress for you, but I suppose I'll have to send someone along to clean the floor as well." Inuyasha knew Jaken's regard for him (or lack thereof) well enough to know that the imp was holding himself back from using a grumbling tone.

"Worry about the mattress for now," Inuyasha said, turning his voice into a low purr, "The floor can be dealt with later."

There was a brief hustle and bustle around them as a small group of servants rushed to remove the bloodstained, shredded bedroll and another group replaced it with a fresh new one.

Inuyasha kept his attention focused on appearing like a man so overwhelmed by love that he barely registered anything else around him. It was easy enough. And Kagome, for her part, allowed him to do it, though she apparently was still refusing to look up.

"Wh-Where would you like me to put the washtub, m-milord - "

"Leave it in the corner."

"Does...does your _lady_ need another change of clothes?"

Inuyasha swept his eyes over Kagome's ornate golden kimono; he knew it was caked with his blood from the waist to the hem. He felt Kagome nod emphatically into his chest.

"I'm sure she _will,_ " he muttered, flashing yet another lustful smile and playing the part as best he could, "but not for a _while,_ right, sweetheart?" He punctuated the question by leaning in as if to ravish her yet again.

Kagome, still hiding her face, reached up to grip around his upper arm. She was asking without words just what the hell he was doing, he knew, so he went on.

"You won't be needing clothes for a few hours yet, if I have my way."

He felt her spine stiffen beneath his touch for a moment, but then her grip around his arm loosened, and she forced herself to play along once more. This time it was with a hum of agreement that was so tinged with sensuality that he nearly forgot what they were both doing in the first place, and his legs nearly gave out beneath him before he caught himself. _This is getting far too realistic, but if it's convincing_ me, _I know it's convincing_ them...

Behind them, Jaken clearly couldn't suppress the squeak of indignant embarrassment as he beckoned two other servants into the room with the steaming tub and directed them to set it in place.

"Jaken," Inuyasha grumbled, pausing his demonstrative attentions on Kagome to fix the kappa with a stern eye, "Something to say?"

"O-Of course not, Y-Your Highness, I would _never_ presume to - "

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Now get out. We're busy."

Inuyasha knew that his physical retaliation on Jaken was fresh in the diminutive youkai's feeble mind, because Jaken left without any further protestations and seemed glad to be out of there.

Once the door was shut again, Kagome went slack in his arms, and the fierce look in her eyes returned. "You can let go of me now," she hissed.

The combative side of him felt the urge to keep his hold, to _actually_ apply those kisses to her neck and see how she felt then, but he knew that was wrong, and he'd already done enough wrong by her, hadn't he?

Without a word, he released her and stepped back as if nothing unusual had happened. "Sorry," he couldn't help but say, "Habit."

She narrowed her eyes. "Even if that last night in Ryusei had never happened, if Naraku _hadn't_ changed you back right in front of me...I was always going to end up like _this_ , wasn't I?"

The sudden shift in mood, the shift in _her,_ had him stumbling for an answer. "I - I didn't think, I didn't know - "

She reared back for the slap to his face, and he took it willingly, feeling it singe his cheek with pain. Kagome left her hand there, plastered against his jaw, and sat there, panting, _seething_ with anger, her teeth bared in fresh unfiltered hatred.

"All this time," she hissed, "I explained it to myself, to make it easier. I told myself that you used me on purpose, for your own selfish reasons, and that I was just a pawn from the beginning, someone you could manipulate into following you blindly and ease anyone else's doubts about your loyalties.

"But you're telling me now that everything... _everything to do with_ us...was just because you never _once_ stopped to _think_ about the consequences for _anyone but yourself?_ "

Inuyasha tried to gently take hold of her outstretched wrist, but she shoved his face back and struck him again, on the other cheek with her other hand. He winced and could only stammer out "I didn't know how to fix - " before she was screaming over him again.

"You didn't even _try_ to fix it!" There were furious tears in her eyes again, making the crystalline blue in her irises even more stunning.

"I wanted to tell you the truth so many times - "

Wrong thing to say, he already knew; again she shoved him roughly, this time with both hands, and again he let it happen, let himself stumble backward and nearly trip on the newly-replaced bedroll at their feet.

"I wanted to tell you, you have to believe me - " He tried again, but it was no use. Another shove, and he was standing on the bedroll now.

"Well, you _should_ have, before I went and fell for you and gave you _everything_ just so you could _take it all away eventually_ \- "

"If I'd told you that night, that _first night_ in Ryusei - "

"Don't even mention that night, don't you _dare!_ "

" - in the sauna room, or in my room afterward - "

" _STOP IT!_ "

Suddenly he was on his back, halfway off the opposite side of the bedroll, and his head crashed to the hard floor with a jarring _thunk._ She had both knees over his abdomen, pinning him in place forcefully, and she glared down at him wildly.

" - would you have listened, Kagome?" he grunted, "Would you have even _believed_ me?"

She pounded a fist onto his chest, and he winced in pain. "You fucking coward, don't turn this back around on me when you didn't even _try!_ "

"You're right. I was - I _am_ a coward," he panted, "I didn't want you to hate me when you found out the truth. I didn't want you to look at me the way you're looking at me right now."

Kagome halted for just a split second, and then her teeth were gritted again and she dealt him another slap across the face, knocking his head to the side. The tears were freely streaming down her crimson face now.

Inuyasha swallowed, and there was a lump in his throat. "I kept telling myself, 'Just another day, another hour where she doesn't think I'm a freakish monster. Just a little longer where I can be with her and love her and know that she loves me - '"

"It was all a lie! I didn't _know_ you, did I, so how could I have _possibly_ loved you?"

He felt the tear drop from his eye and sent her a weak smile. "You're right. You're completely right. I didn't want you to hate me, and now you hate me even more."

"Yes," she said with a furious nod, "I hate you so much that - that sometimes I think I might _die_ from it. It's like _poison_ in my blood."

"I know," he said gently. For some strange reason, one that he himself couldn't fathom, his eyes and his attention traveled to her wild mane of dark hair, and in this most heartbreaking of moments all he could do was silently marvel at how much longer it had grown - nearly brushing her collarbone. It was nearly an inch longer than the night she'd chopped it all off with his father's heirloom sword.

The night they'd fought the wolves.

The night he'd very nearly kissed her the first time but had stopped himself, only to lose all control and kiss her for real just a matter of days later.

And now it was months later, and she was years older.

Before he could stop himself, he reached up to brush a stray lock of her hair out of her face.

* * *

" _Don't touch me,"_ Kagome wanted to say, but her voice wouldn't work.

He used those clawed hands to tuck her hair behind her ear with the most careful, featherlight motion, and she sat there stupidly glaring down at him, just allowing it to happen, even _tilting her head downward to help him do it…_

"If I could go back," he said, with that stupid look in his eyes that was just so damn _vulnerable_ even though his physical strength had provably outmatched hers twofold, perhaps even _threefold_ , "I would have told you. There, in Ryusei, before we ever - "

"But you didn't," she snapped, digging into his chest a little more with her knees and hearing him grunt in pain again.

"I didn't," he agreed, "I never gave you the trust that you seemed to give me from day one. I didn't trust you to know me, the _real_ me, without being afraid of how I look...or where I come from."

She felt a single thump in her chest, cursed herself for it, and decided she needed to put some physical distance between them _immediately._ So she released her hold on him and retreated backward a few feet on the bedroll.

Inuyasha slowly sat up on his elbows, not looking at her, but at his own hand. _At his claws_ , Kagome realized.

He flexed his fingers once, and his baleful gaze took on a bitter sort of humor. "I'll always be sorry," he said.

 _About not telling me? Or about...the way he looks…?_

But rather than ask it out loud, Kagome just straightened back up and turned away, crossing the room with normal strides, straight for the tub, so she could wash the blood, sweat, and tears off her skin. _Wash_ him _off my skin._

* * *

"You had one thing wrong earlier," Kagome said as she reached the tub, not looking at him but speaking as casually as if she were discussing the weather, "I didn't _think_ I was in love with Okada, I _was_ in love with Okada. With my entire heart."

Inuyasha felt his heart seize in his chest and he froze on the spot, not daring to speak, not daring...to _hope_ …

"But you...you're _not_ Okada," she said, plunging her arms into the hot water and scrubbing roughly at her skin, "Are you?"

He swallowed back the hurt, angry growl. "You're right; I'm not. You should probably get out of that kimono. I'll give you something of mine to put on, since by my estimate Jaken won't be back until morning. Besides, putting you in one of my yukatas helps tell the story, doesn't it?"

Kagome gave him no response, nothing to bring him any sort of dim satisfaction; she just leaned down and splashed water onto her face and hair.

* * *

"Split up, everyone, and...well, you heard General Ibushi, didn't you?" Miroku was surprised his legs hadn't given out completely yet.

 _Search for stragglers,_ the order had been.

But there was no village left to search.

No movement except the flickering, the flame, emanating with near silence from the smoldering shells of buildings.

He wasn't sure how he was able to walk, but somehow he did, slowly, like he was asleep and in the throes of a terrible nightmare, a nightmare where his dream-self possessed only what limited power of movement the dream allowed.

There were dark lumps littering the ground, surrounded by small rivers of melted snow, as if each one had been traced by some gigantic unseen finger from on high, circled to highlight them even more starkly.

For the briefest moment, Miroku's mind registered the misshapen forms as shrapnel, ash, rocks.

Repeated in hideous, grotesque patterns, each pattern a sickening radius out from -

 _From where each bomb went off._

And then he looked again, and he _knew._

He knew from the similarity in shape, coupled with the variation of size.

Male.

Female.

 _Child._

He'd known they would be civilians, in the back of his mind he'd _known_ that. Seeing the evidence was quite a different story.

Simple linen clothing, no different from what human villagers would wear, decorated with muted floral patterns or minimal stripes. All of it singed and destroyed there in the snow, and most of it _blown right off the bodies._

Not a weapon in sight. Nothing more lethal than farming tools and brooms, scattered every which way, some of them stuck firmly in the ground at horrific angles like the spokes of broken cart wheels.

Foxlike paws - _hands, they might look different but they're hands_ \- reaching out to grasp those of others, holding tight even in death. A perfect portrait of terror, of desperation, of clinging tight to loved ones in the face of the bombs. _These,_ he thought as the cold stung his eyes and seemed to freeze them wide open, _these...these didn't die right away, they had a few seconds to realize what was happening, what was_ coming _for them, for their_ families and children -

"Sir?"

Miroku snapped his head around, and he knew the horror in his eyes had to be apparent, because the young kid standing there in too-large armor took a frightened step back from him before choking out his next words.

"Sir," the kid whispered, "I think I'm gonna - " And with that, he doubled over and vomited all over the ground at his feet.

 _Me too, kid. Me too._

But somehow, miraculously, Miroku held himself together.

"H-Have you found anyone alive?" he barked out shakily over his shoulder.

There was no answer from the rest of the troops except a few smattering calls of "None, sir."

Miroku gave a slow exhale, watching his breath escape in a cloud of steam. _Good, good, that means we're off the hook, that means there's no one still lying here somewhere suffering…_

"Here's one," a voice suddenly growled about fifteen yards from him, obscured by a thicket of broken tree stumps.

Miroku's steady breath halted, and without pausing to think or consider anything at all he bolted toward the voice.

 _Sanada, of_ course _it's fucking Sanada, how could I forget that he'd have been assigned to me because he's dull and he's mean and they can't trust him in any rank higher than grunt -_

The man in question stood over a pile of debris, pointing the blade of his sword down at...something. Miroku steeled himself, took a few more tentative steps forward.

"M-Mama…" a small voice whimpered.

 _Oh no, no,_ NO…

A kitsune pup, a kitsune _child_. Horrific flash burns, already starting to blister and sear, down the right side of the child's face, down the length of his right arm where his sleeve had been torn off. Ash and dirt and flame had covered him from head to toe, and his lungs were likely singed, because every breath he took was a shallow wheeze.

"Mama," the child cried again, dissolving into weak, high-pitched coughs as he seemed to ignore the humans' presence entirely. He inched forward, crawled with what looked to be the last of his minute strength, and with his tiny paws he grabbed hold of two larger ones, larger ones that were completely still, bloodied and missing several digits…

The still-smoldering body of the child's mother lay face down in the splintered pile of tree trunks and crossbeams. The entire side of her that had been facing the explosion...her head, her scalp, her unseen face, her arms and trunk and legs, _gods, all of it_ , was completely destroyed, leaking dark blood into the dirt below in the few places where the flames hadn't seared her flesh into an unrecognizable mass. She wore no clothing, and her body was bisected by a giant branch, thorned and splintered. There was no need to move her, Miroku's physician's brain said, because if they did she'd likely come apart in their hands, just _slice apart_ like a prepared cut of meat at a nobleman's table feast -

The small kitsune boy just gave another tiny cry and kept his weak hold on her lifeless hands, trying still to curl in closer, to take refuge with his forehead pressed to the crushed and ruined crown of what had been his mother's head. He still gave no indication that he'd noticed the enemy presence there, or if he had, he was purposely blocking them out. "Mama, _please_...wake up…"

Sanada raised his sword up higher and spit something dark and putrid onto the snow right beside the youkai child's curled-up form. He reared back with the weapon, aimed it straight down -

"Stop," Miroku said sharply, and it was like it was someone else speaking, someone else saying the words aloud. "Leave him."

Sanada paused and gave Miroku an incredulous glare that quickly spread into a sarcastic and condescending imitation of sympathy. "Amazing, isn't it, sir," he said with a foul grin, "How they pretend they have _feelings_ when they're cornered. Trying to garner sympathy."

"It's a child," Miroku said, reaching out to knock the sword away with the firmest look on his face that he could muster, "What threat is an orphaned _child?_ "

"Child, you say, but this beast is likely older than either of us. An unnatural creature."

"I said," Miroku ground out between his teeth, " _Leave him be._ No good will come from killing a defenseless creature such as this."

"Sir," Sanada said slowly, as if Miroku were the child and not this little crying kitsune, "General Ibushi's orders were very clear. If you lack the stomach for it, allow me - "

"Sanada!" Miroku's hand went to the hilt of his sword.

Sanada saw this action, and the condescending smile left his face, replaced by a glare of disgust. "You call yourself a _captain_ of this proud army, priest? You declare your loyalty to the shogun and then openly _threaten_ one of his proud warriors? For the sake of this _monster child?_ "

"This isn't what I agreed to serve." Miroku knew it was treason to even say the words aloud and yet he couldn't stop, _wouldn't_ stop, until it was declared. "I can't serve the gods and turn a blind eye to coldblooded _murder._ "

"They do it to us, don't they?" Sanada growled. "Or have you forgotten what happened in Ryusei, when a cloud of poison killed hundreds of men in one fell swoop?"

 _It doesn't matter,_ Miroku thought, almost surprised at how quick and clear his inner rebuttal was. _It doesn't matter if they've done similar atrocities; this is too far and it makes us just as bad as they are. The cause is the cause, but if it comes at the cost of our souls, of the very empathy and emotion that we humans claim to be so proud of, then at the end we'll be the monsters too._ "Lower your blade," he said quietly, tightening his grip around the hilt of his sword to fight the shaking in his hands. "Do it, Sanada."

Sanada's eyes flashed with bitter amusement, and the cruel smile returned to his lips. "You were a close follower of General Kagome's, and now I see why; you share the same disgusting love for creatures and beasts, don't you? What about that Taijiya girl, is she really enough for you, being _human_ and all, or is she a monster in disguise as well - "

" _Stand. Down._ "

Sanada still did no such thing. "Won't it be fun to see General Ibushi's reaction when I tell him of this? Won't the _shogun's_ reaction be something?" He gave a coarse laugh and turned his attention back to the vulnerable, cowering kitsune child -

Miroku's teeth bared in a feral cry, and he lunged forward.

* * *

Inuyasha brought her the yukata, one of his old white ones, and Kagome took it without a word or a glance in his direction.

She seemed determined to clean herself without actually disrobing and getting into the tub, instead using a washcloth to slough the red stains off her skin and then finally bending to dip the entirety of her hair in the steaming water, and he watched her do it and remembered a night that seemed so long ago now…

 _She leaned her hair back into the water to rewet it, and it hung over her back like a long, dark curtain. A few stray cherry blossom petals were caught in the strands._

Inuyasha ground the heels of his bloodstained palms into his eyes, hard enough to hurt, and then lowered his hands again to find that somehow Kagome had already discarded her golden kimono and was tying the white yukata shut. She was looking at him, her expression completely unreadable.

"So I have to stay in here, then." She spoke, and her voice was a raspy croak until she cleared her throat and it seemed to find its sound once more. "With you."

No fear or hatred in her blue eyes anymore. Just exhaustion and weariness. Resignation. Quiet acceptance.

Inuyasha almost wished she'd just go back to glaring at him. At least it would have meant she was feeling _something._

"Y-Yes," he stammered.

"As if our reunion was genuine," she said softly, "As if we actually - "

"Yes." He didn't want to hear her say it.

"...Alright." She finished tying the robe shut and sighed, closing her eyes. "Is there anyone in the castle who can be trusted?"

"Besides my brother? Not really. Naraku could have taken in any number of agents right under our noses. And even if they _are_ on our side, they won't know to keep anything secret. Sesshomaru's kept it that way. Better to not let Naraku know just how much we're onto him."

"I'm stuck here in this room," Kagome nodded again, her face still unmoving, "And whenever anyone comes in here, we have to act...well, act like we just did a few minutes ago."

"It's to keep you safe," Inuyasha said, but that didn't make him feel any better and he knew it wouldn't do a thing for her, "And it's only for the eyes of others. You and I will know the truth."

"Hm," she said, her mouth curling up in a bitter smirk.

* * *

Sanada's sword flew to the side, buried itself deeply in the snow.

Miroku held his blade in a guarded stance, launched a fierce kick to the man's soft belly, sent him stumbling backward.

There was no time for Sanada to even register surprise on that ugly face of his.

A quick vertical thrust was all it took, and a few spurts of blood shot forward and splattered the front of Miroku's ridiculously heavy ornamental armor.

Sanada's eyes slowly traveled down to the fountain of blood spurting from his thick throat, and the brutish man fell to his knees with a hissing groan before collapsing forward into the snow, in an eerie echo of the dead kitsune mother beside him.

Miroku refused to even give Sanada the dignity of a second look as he sheathed his sword and rounded on the spot to return his attention to the whimpering youkai child.

The tiny kitsune was still clinging so desperately to the corpse of his mother, sniffling in the refuge of her ravaged, scorched, and vivisected form.

Without allowing himself the luxury of hesitation, Miroku bent over him and reached for him. The kitsune's eyes snapped open, shining up at him with a stark blue glow even in the growing darkness, and the little face gave a halfhearted attempt at a ferocious snarl, a warning to stay back.

"It's alright," Miroku said thickly, still barely registering the fact that he'd just killed a man and made himself a wanted criminal and _what the hell am I going to do now, oh gods_ , "I-It's alright, I won't hurt you, but please, we have to get out of here, _now_ \- "

The child shrank back, shaking his head frantically and tightening his grip on his mother's mutilated hands.

"Please," Miroku whispered urgently, holding out his open palms to signify that he wasn't a threat, "There will be more coming. More like that man. I'll protect you, I'll get you somewhere safe."

The youkai boy's pained expression hinted that perhaps his determination to remain was faltering. "B-But," he whispered back, "M-Mama has to come too."

The instinctive way the boy altered his voice to match the volume of Miroku's was proof that no matter the actual years of life involved here, this was, in fact, a small child, inclined to imitate and play along with any willing adult, inclined to _trust_ so blindly even when common sense would dictate the opposite.

Miroku shot a frightened glance back over his shoulder and sank to one knee, getting himself as close to eye-level with the child as possible and keeping his tone of voice gentle and calming. "She saved you," he said, fighting the urge to speak too quickly, to betray his own terror and the need to escape, "Didn't she?"

The kitsune boy turned his face up to look at his mother's body. "Mmhmm," he said softly with a little nod. "She hugged me tight when - when the world went _boom_."

There was no horror or revulsion in his face despite the mangled state of her corpse, just love and devotion and attachment, as if he thought she were merely knocked out or sleeping. As if enough prodding would revive her and his entire reality would become whole again.

A coping mechanism, Miroku knew. The horror and revulsion were sure to come, but not for a while yet. _And then he'll be traumatized. Completely destroyed, and at such a vulnerable age…_

"She did," Miroku agreed quietly, feeling his throat tighten and his eyes prickle with chilled tears, "And so she wou - she _wants_ you to be safe, doesn't she?"

Another nod in response.

"So you have to come with me, little guy. We have to run and hide now. Have you ever played hide and seek?"

"All the time, with my brothers and sisters."

 _Oh gods, siblings, he had siblings and they're gone too -_

"W-Well, that's perfect," Miroku said shakily, "That's exactly what it'll be like. You and me. Your Uncle Miroku."

The child still looked a bit unsure. "We have to go hide?"

"Yes," Miroku said, fighting the impatient side of him that wanted to just forcibly grab the child and _run, run with all the strength I've got left_ , "It's dangerous here now, so we have to hide until it's not dangerous anymore. I'll carry you, don't worry."

Just a few last seconds of hesitant silence, and then two tiny paws detached themselves from the ruined corpse and reached up toward Miroku, who gave a sharp sigh of relief and scooped the child up in his arms, cradling his tiny form close.

"S-Sir?"

Miroku froze on the spot, slowly turned toward the voice.

It was that same kid again, the one who'd vomited at all the carnage. The kid stood there, in that armor that had likely been handed down by a departed relative, staring at him with complete white-faced shock.

It took several seconds for Miroku to find his voice, and the only way he found he could present himself was in a posture of defiance. "I'm leaving," he declared, reaching with his free hand to fumble for his sword grip again, "This child doesn't deserve to die any more than - " For the sake of the tiny boy in his arms he didn't finish.

The teenaged soldier said nothing for a second, and then his eyes drifted to Sanada's quickly-cooling corpse in the snow behind them.

"Do what you must," Miroku said sharply, "I'm taking a stand. I won't be a part of this any longer."

The kid's eyes darted back to his, and slowly, nervously, he swallowed and gave a quick affirmative nod. "Go," he whispered, "I'll cover for you. I'll send them in the wrong direction."

There wasn't even time to be touched or to utter a word of gratitude. "Right," Miroku said, and then he turned on his heel and headed straight into the thick woods, zigzagging to try and cover his path as best as he could.

"If we hide," he heard the kitsune boy wonder quietly, his voice muffled by the cover of his bushy red tail, "will Mama and Papa still be able to find us? When they wake up?"

Miroku increased his speed, his breath coming in choked gasps, and tried to keep his voice as soothing as before. "I think so," he lied, wanting to throw up more than ever before, "M-Maybe eventually."

* * *

"This isn't gonna work."

Kagome, seated on the bedroll once more, glanced up from squeezing the ends of her hair dry to see that he - Inuyasha - seemed to have given up on the cloth-and-washtub approach to get all the dried blood off.

He let out a frustrated hiss through his pointed teeth and stared balefully at the pink-stained ends of that long, white hair, the hair that still sent a surprised tremor through her every time she saw it because _that's what his hair really looks like, that's the real color_ …

"I'm gonna have to call for more water and actually get in this damn tub," he grumbled _._ "I'd go to the washrooms myself, but I can't exactly leave you here alone, not with whoever-the-fuck listening in and waiting and planning whatever it is."

"Would they really be that bold?" Kagome wondered aloud, still hating the fact that they had to make strategic small-talk like this when all she wanted was to be out of here as soon as possible, _left alone_ with her broken memories and without all this confusion, "They'd just...enter your room like that?"

"I don't know _for sure_ that they would," Inuyasha scoffed, whipping the now-crimson washcloth over the tub's edge for punctuation, "But I know that evil bastard Naraku is probably _dying_ to know what's happening in here."

"I thought you were their _prince_."

The smile he gave her was that same deprecating Okada smirk, and she quickly found an excuse to turn away and focus again on drying her hair. "A _hanyou_ prince," she heard him mutter in reply, "About as desirable to them as it was to my grandfather."

Kagome hoped he didn't see the brief shiver that overtook her.

 _Hanyou. Half youkai. Half human._

Through the dark curtain of her damp locks, she snuck another glance at him as he crossed behind her to the bedroom door and slid it open to lean out into the hallway and beckon an unseen servant.

"Oi, you, you can take that tub out of here, and bring me a fresh one."

"Y-Yes, Your Highness."

 _Same height. Same build. Same skin._ _Gods, even the_ profile of his face _is the exact same._ Were it not for the hair, the ears, the claw-tipped fingers…

She gave a small shake of her head. What a stupid, foolish train of thought to fall into. _I might actually have a way out of this mess and I'm doing_ this _to myself? Making it_ worse?

Inuyasha leaned back again and let whatever number of servants it was inside, and Kagome busied herself with fiddling with the knot on her newly-donated white yukata, _his_ white yukata, so she wouldn't risk accidentally catching the stare of those golden eyes yet again.

The servants behind her collected the tub and rushed back out of the room once more, stammering reassurances that they would return promptly, as ordered, and she heard Inuyasha close the door behind them.

"Of course," she heard him mutter after a moment, "no youkai, lowborn or highborn, ever had a damn thing to say to my old man when he married my mother. They respected him too much. All of them." He paused; she heard him heave a quiet sigh. "Well, all of them but _one_ , I guess. But he had Naraku exiled, and I guess he thought that was the end of it."

The prickle on the back of her neck meant that Inuyasha's eyes were upon her right now, and she tried to force her shoulders to relax. She continued to loosen the knot in the yukata's belt, then tighten it again, over and over again. A foolish pantomime of nonchalance.

"Not that you wanna hear any of this, anyway," he said quickly, "But yeah, that's why I don't feel like leaving you here alone and unarmed. And besides, it's something else that sells the story, isn't it? If it were true, if we really _were_ happily reuniting, makes sense that we'd just stay in bed for the first several days and tell the rest of the world to fuck off."

Kagome bit her tongue and stolidly maintained her silence and when Inuyasha suddenly appeared in her peripheral vision again and sat himself just feet away on the other side of the mattress, she nearly jumped.

He sat with his back to her, once again examining the stained ends of his hair with a grunt of clear distaste. "They'll be back with a new tub in a second, and I'll bathe in here. Don't worry, I'll still be back there, so you don't have to see anything." He jerked a clawed thumb over one shoulder towards the room's far corner.

 _Change the subject, change the subject, change the subject -_ "If Naraku's so evil and wants you both dead - you and your brother, I mean," Kagome said, her tone more forceful than she'd intended in her haste, "then what the hell is he doing here living in your castle?"

There was a pause, and then Inuyasha slowly craned his neck around to look at her. His expression was completely neutral, but _oh gods, those damned eyes_...they were so disarming. "Do you really want to know?"

Kagome frowned, blinked. "Wh - "

"Sesshomaru brought him out of exile when we heard of your father's murder."

 _Oh._ The chill in the pit of her stomach regained its full strength and gripped her wholly.

Inuyasha's dark eyebrows knit together as he continued on, and she wanted to scream at him _STOP FEELING SORRY FOR ME STOP IT_ -

"When Kazu...died...we both knew it was just a matter of time before the humans started going for the barrier. We knew it was going to be bad, and we didn't have any resources, not like we did when my old man was alive. Sesshomaru is respected, no doubt about that, but a lot of the older clans have still been hesitant about him. Because of the truce, and because of me.

"So Sesshomaru made the hard choice, and we both told ourselves we'd win the war against the humans first, save our people, and then deal with Naraku later if - no, _when_ he betrayed us."

"B-But you said Naraku has already been trying to - "

"It isn't the first time my brother and I have dealt with enemies," he cut in, "And we knew Naraku still had loyal followers here with us even while he was exiled for two decades. What we _weren't_ ready for was just how loyal those followers were. _Are_. Or the depths they're all willing to sink to, _all of them_." He curled his lip in disgust, and it seemed his eyes went far away for a second.

"So why not just have them all exiled again? Or killed?" Kagome asked incredulously.

"You know, I asked my brother that same damn question." Inuyasha scoffed quietly and leaned back on his hands, turning back to face the wall. His soiled, silver-white hair tumbled back over his shoulders, hanging nearly to his waist and obscuring most of him from her view.

"A-And?"

"...You met Sesshomaru. Do you think he gave me an answer? He's got a plan, but hell if he lets me in on it." One of those doglike ears atop his head gave a small flick, seemingly involuntary.

Kagome pressed on, determined not to just sit there gawking stupidly at his ears. "And you're just _fine_ with that?"

Once again, he craned his neck around to face her, and there was that stupid _smirk_ , that one that gave her the insane notion that any minute now he'd open his mouth and start barking her through combat drills all over again. "I had one mission during this whole war," he said softly, his voice barely above a murmur, "and I screwed it up completely."

 _There,_ she thought, feeling her jaw clench. _That was the reminder I needed that I still hate you. That whatever your motivations, you were still ready to destroy everything I was fighting for. Everything I believed in, all the people I love. All your excuses, all your justifications, all the debate over whether or not we humans_ deserved _it doesn't change that._

The renewed glare she aimed at him didn't seem to surprise him or hurt him one bit, because he just kept the sad smirk on his face and turned back around once more. "Completely," he said again. "So I guess I don't have much room for argument anymore."

Kagome opened her mouth, ready to hiss something venomous at him, ready to wipe that resigned, pitiful smile off his lips, but then there was another knock on the door.

The servant, returning with the refilled washtub.

Before she could even blink, there was a warm hand caressing the side of her cheek, another hand snaking gently around her waist and pulling her close.

 _No, no, not now, not when I've just gotten my common sense back -_

She stiffened and tried to duck out of the embrace, screwing her eyes shut.

"Don't." The word hummed against the shell of her ear, low-pitched and warm, and her nostrils filled with the familiar scent of him as soon as she inhaled.

The tone wasn't demanding, just a gentle request, but she chose to take it as the former because, dammit, that was easier to combat; hostility and forced captivity were such easier prospects than whatever this stupid facade had to offer -

"Let me go," she hissed, struggling even harder, and all he had to do in response was just make his grip on her ever-so-slightly firmer and she was powerless.

 _The first thing I ever noticed about him was his strength, wasn't it?_

Strength that, earlier, he had refused to use against her, even as she was slapping him across the face and screaming at him.

 _What does that matter, why am I making excuses to rationalize his actions?_

"Let. Me. _Go,_ " she repeated, louder this time, keeping her eyes shut tight so she couldn't look at him couldn't see his face see those _eyes_ -

"I will." Kagome felt the warmth of his breath across her mouth and _oh, gods, he's so close, is he going to_ \- "Just a bit longer, I promise."

And then as he turned his head to the side there was suddenly the taste of salty skin, the taste of pure _heat_ across her mouth, and she realized her lips were upon the curve of his neck, his long hair draping over both of them and tangling with her own, and still she kept her eyes shut painfully tight.

"Yeah, come in."

"Oh, e-excuse me, Your Highness, forgive me for - "

"Never mind that, just leave the tub in the back corner. We'll need it when we're done, won't we, sweetheart?" At that Inuyasha gently pinched the side of her hip between two warm fingers, not hard, not painfully, but enough to make her give a mortifying squeak in response.

What had she been _thinking_ , agreeing to this? Torture and death she'd been ready to accept upon arrival here, but _this, this_ threatened to destroy her very soul, because her memories and all her physical senses were betraying her utterly.

Kagome's mouth was still flush against the smooth firmness of his neck, and she made up her mind that she was going to bite the _absolute shit out of him_ , consequences be damned.

Of course, that wasn't what happened.

She opened her mouth a bit wider, grazed her front teeth down his skin, and she _would_ have chomped down hard enough to draw blood, she really would have.

But then he actually gave a _shudder_ in response, and she felt it through his arms and his chest where they held her so tightly; she heard the choked rush of breath in his lungs. And he leaned in _closer_ , not a lot, just a little, but _closer._

So for whatever reason - Kagome didn't know, she certainly couldn't deem herself able to _think things through_ right now - she let her head lilt just a bit to the side and she pressed her teeth into his neck again, this time a bit firmer. And the vicelike strength he held her in place with faltered for a fraction of a second.

The bedroom door slid shut again, and Kagome immediately pulled back again. _Okay good, that's over with now let me go let me go so I can have some peace and quiet and wonder just what's come over me._

But Inuyasha held her tightly still, as if he were the one frozen in place.

And finally, much as it pained her, Kagome had to open her eyes to look up at his face questioningly.

Those eyes of melted gold gazed down at her, eyelids heavier than before, and his mouth was slightly open, his chest rising and falling with every labored breath. His white ears were flat against his skull. There was a flush across those high cheekbones that she'd seen before. Too many times.

 _Oh gods no no no don't look at me like that don't you dare -_

"Let me go." She tried to harden her expression, tried to add weight to her command, and it came out, horrifically, like more of a plaintive _request._

At first he didn't seem like he'd heard her, and then all at once the arms holding Kagome in place were gone, and he had suddenly moved a foot back as if in retreat, still looking completely dazed and bewildered.

"What - " he whispered, "What was - Kagome, you - "

Kagome refused to let him finish, refused to hear one single further word. She folded her arms around her shoulders and forced herself to turn away.

"Next time you grab me like that without permission," she snapped, "I'll actually bite you, and then they can just carry me away to be executed."

It was unclear whether or not he believed her, but it ended up not mattering anyway, because he sprang up from his seat and went straight for the newly-arrived tub of fresh, steaming water.

* * *

Inuyasha's fingers were actually _shaking_ as he removed his ruined, bloodstained pants and all but tumbled into the water. He submerged himself completely, letting the heat of the water encircle him and drown out the ringing in his sensitive ears. He stayed below the surface until his lungs threatened to burst and then sat up slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible as he did so.

As he settled his chin on the gently lapping water, he couldn't help but glance over to the mattress across the room, where Kagome remained. He had to squint to even glimpse her through the steam; she was back to combing her fingers through her hair, her face out of view.

 _Why did she do that...why would she…_

None of Inuyasha's thoughts were coherent enough to complete themselves. Nothing except the notion of how painfully _hard_ he was now.

He had to fight not to moan as he allowed himself two short strokes of his length under the water and felt his body sing with an instant relief, relief that immediately returned to agony as he forced himself to _STOP STOP STOP IT, she doesn't want me not in this form not ME she said it herself didn't she and she couldn't have intended it to feel good she wants me to HURT not to -_

The outline of Kagome's form shifted in the distance, and through fogs literal and mental Inuyasha realized that she had her head slightly turned in his direction. Was he being too obvious?

"W-What?" he called out, lamenting how choked he felt, "Need something?"

The silhouette jumped as if startled and her head whipped back around. "No," he heard her snap. "Not from you. I'm going to sleep."

"Good for you," he grumbled under his breath bitterly; for him, sleep was now fucking impossible. He added, a bit louder, "You can have the bedroll; I'll take the floor."

"Fine." And without another word, she laid down and disappeared from his sight.

Inuyasha was still horrifically tempted to take hold of himself again and just get whatever small reprieve he could, just so he could sleep as well. As long as he kept quiet, she wouldn't even know, would she?

But no, he couldn't. He wouldn't. It felt too much like _using_ her, taking advantage without her knowledge, and he had already vowed never to do that again.

He busied himself with scrubbing clean for good this time, scouring his skin even rougher than he'd have normally done it.

He remained in that damned tub far longer than he needed to, until the water was lukewarm and approaching chilly, just to ensure that he was no longer completely out of his head.

One of the two lanterns in the room, long since unattended, had burned out, and one seemed to be on its last bit of fuel because it offered little more illumination than a single weak candle.

Inuyasha's eyes, of course, could function well enough without them, and he could see Kagome lying there motionless on her side, wearing that yukata that was twice her size, with a blanket pulled up to her waist.

He carefully approached, and she didn't stir, which was unusual from what he remembered; she'd always shown herself ready to awaken at the slightest disturbance, the slightest hint of trouble, just as a proud warrior should.

But now, she lay there, her chest rising and falling slowly and heavily with each quiet breath, her dark hair fanned out around her like a wild halo.

It seemed that Kagome had given into sleep just as freely as Inuyasha had nearly just given in to... _himself_ , and he couldn't blame her. She'd been through enough in this short time to break the spirit of anyone lesser.

 _But compared to her,_ everyone _is lesser, aren't they?_

There was a renewed constriction in his throat, but of an entirely different nature, and he forced it down, allowing himself just a few more seconds to take her in, before he carefully lowered himself to the floor next to the bedroll and forced his own eyelids shut.

Just as he'd expected, his slumber was fitful and unsatisfying.

* * *

 _ **WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW**_

 _ **I hope the length of this one makes up for the wait! Holidays and school and stuff, excuses excuses I know**_

 _ **No Sango this chapter but don't worry we'll catch up with her soon getting forced into get-along time out with some wolves**_

 _ **GO MIROKU MY BOY HAS SEEN THE LIGHT now hmmmm wonder who he'll encounter first now that he's a New Dad (tm) (**_ _ **EDIT: IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT MIROKU IS NOW THE FEUDAL-ERA VERSION OF THE MANDALORIAN WITH SHIPPO AS HIS BABY YODA AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER UNTIL JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO. Not that I'm mad about it, it amuses me greatly hahaha. Also I promise I had this plot twist in mind MONTHS before the series came out; I'm not just ripping shit off I swearrrrrr)**_

 _ **Inu: I'm sorry**_

 _ **Kag: Fuck u and ur sorry**_

 _ **Inu: U right but stop smelling so good**_

 _ **Kag: FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU**_

 _ **Inu: K**_

 _ **Kag: What**_

 _ **Inu: *shitshitshit* Nothing**_

 _ **Kag: *innermost thoughts* What a stupid sexy idiot wait did I say sexy I meant -**_

 _ **ANYWAYS Please review, I adore hearing from all of y'all. If you have any questions, btw, my Tumblr asks are a great place for them, or you can PM me here, either way is good! I ADORE ALL OF YOU MUCHLY**_

 _ **SEE Y'ALL IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! - meggz0rz**_


	33. Truces

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Thirty-Three**

 **TRUCES**

* * *

 _ **SONGS**_

 _ **"Blood / Water" by Grandson ("The price of your greed is your son and your daughter, what you gon' do when there's blood in the water?")**_

 _ **"So Cold" by Breaking Benjamin (Miroku is struggling with his newfound fatherhood I guess lol)**_

 _ **"Beware the Beast" by Carpenter Brut ("Beware of the beast inside your heart, when we're dancing in the dark..." THIS ONE'S A STRAIGHT JAM)**_

 _ **"Love on the Brain" by Rihanna (Yep it's InuKag, yes things are gonna just get steamier from this point on AND DON'T WE ALL DESERVE IT AFTER TEN THOUSAND YEARS OF TORTURE)**_

* * *

Though Sango had been free from the grip of the old woman's glowing magical vice for several minutes at this point, she kept her body as rigid and guarded as possible, to the point that her muscles and joints screamed with pain. She sat there on the cold ground and relied on thoughts of pure _hatred_ to keep herself still, as the enormous throng of wolves sat there calmly ignoring her presence.

So focused was she, that when a hand suddenly thrust a steaming bowl of stew under her chin, Sango was caught completely off-guard and shrank back with a painful twinge in her stiffened spine.

"Here. You look half-starved." The squat old woman gave the bowl a gentle shake for emphasis. "I can't claim it's delicious, not with my cooking skills, but it'll warm you up at least, and then you can tell me just what you're doing out here besides attacking these poor dears at their most vulnerable."

"Vulnerable?" Sango scoffed. "These _monsters?_ Don't make me laugh - "

"I'm not trying to make you laugh, dear," the old woman interjected dully. "I'm trying to make you eat."

Sango wrinkled her nose in a grimace and turned her face away from the stew.

With a heavy sigh, the elderly woman leaned her large frame down to set the bowl in front of Sango's lap. "It's there if you want it," she muttered, waddling over to sit atop a flat rock a few feet away. "Came from the shogun's castle, did you?"

 _How do you know that?_ Sango almost asked it aloud, and then her eyes fell upon the ornate, unwieldy katana tied to her belt. _Oh._

"Figures," the old woman sniffed, "If there's trouble to be had for us, it's from that direction, to be sure."

"The trouble is _them_ ," Sango snapped, inclining her head toward the pack of wolves. "You have no idea what they can _do_ to people - "

"Don't I?" The old woman's body shook with a chuckle. "Oh, sweet little slayer girl, you're the victim of _your own_ ignorance here. Once again, it's a sad sign of the times."

The defiant side of Sango (and honestly, that was _most_ of her, wasn't it) boiled in anger at being thus rebuffed. "Who are you to talk to me like - "

"Oh, my apologies. My name is Kaede, and I am a miko of the Western Lands. Chosen by the gods, chosen by love, to be one of the last keepers of common sense in this whole forsaken country."

Kaede must have seen Sango's bewildered face, because she sent her a smile that seemed to be trying to reassure. "Not to worry, young one," she said, and Sango was sure she'd have tried to pat her hand were they sitting any closer together, "It's not _your_ fault you were raised with such blind hatred. That fault lies with your clan, with those fools you call leaders and rulers."

"How _dare_ you talk about my family, about my _clan,_ as if - "

"As if I were once one of them?" Kaede asked softly.

 _Wh-What?_

The old woman sat back in her seat a little, staring down at her age-spotted hands with that faraway smile still on her face. "The bodysuit doesn't fit anymore, of course. Not that it ever fit me that well to begin with; I was a bit on the curvaceous side, even as a young girl."

Sango could only stare at her for the next few seconds.

* * *

" _Papa! You're home!"_

 _Kagome, nine or ten years old, tried to slow the breakneck speed of her run, but she'd clearly underestimated the distance, or lack thereof, and she ended up nearly tackling her father to the ground in her wild abandon._

 _Papa gave a grunt in response, but merely laughed and shook it off before taking hold of her underneath both arms and lifting her high in the air. She squealed with delight._

" _You were gone_ so long _," she cried, linking her small thin arms around his neck and peppering his face with kisses._

" _I know," he said gently, holding her so closely and tightly and nuzzling his face into hers, "A soldier's work is never done, it seems. I missed you like crazy, my little wildcat!"_

" _Missed you_ more _than crazy," Kagome insisted, "Missed you_ insane."

 _That statement made him laugh, and he gently lowered her back to earth._

" _Did you see any youkai, Papa?" she asked. She knew she always asked him this question when he came back from a long term of service to the shogun, and he always gave the same answer but he never seemed annoyed that she was curious._

" _No, of course not, my love. You remember the terms of the truce we settled before you were born; we stay in our land, and the youkai stay in theirs, and we don't bother each other."_

 _Kagome of course remembered, but it didn't hurt to ask, did it? The stories Papa told, that Grandfather told, about otherworldly creatures and battle, where honor and devotion and bravery defeated the monstrous enemy and drove them out of the land - they always sent a bolt of excited lightning down her spine, no matter how many times she'd heard the same ones over and over again._

" _Maybe one day they'll get hungry again," Kagome said with a mischievous grin, taking her father's hand as they sauntered back up the path toward the gate of the family estate, "and then maybe I'll get to_ see _one...a real, live_ monster!"

 _Papa smirked down at her, gave a gentle shake of his head. "I wouldn't wish that for you, my love. Not in a million years."_

" _A million,_ zillion _years?" Kagome gave an exaggerated pout. "But I could hit it with my arrows; I wouldn't be scared!"_

 _He laughed again, and she relished in the sound again after all the time spent in its absence. "No," he said, "I don't know that you_ would _be scared. Not my little wildcat."_

 _Kagome gave a delighted laugh of her own in response and squeezed her father's hand tighter, hurrying him even quicker along._

" _But," Papa added after a moment, just before they entered the gate and went in to Mama and Grandfather and baby Sota, "it's my job to keep you, and our family, safe, isn't it? So we'll never see another youkai war, not as long as I'm around to say anything about it."_

"Kagome."

At the feeling of being gently shaken, Kagome opened her eyes and sprang upright, ready to defend herself, ready to leave for battle at a moment's call -

The sight of _his_ face, framed by that otherworldly hair, housing those otherworldly eyes, nearly sent her into an instinctive panic, especially as he reached out a clawed hand for her -

She choked down a terrified scream and tried to shrink back, to _get away_ -

The memories of all that had surpassed in the last few days began to steadily flood back into her mind, as she supposed memories did whenever one awakened in an unfamiliar place in the company of someone who had been the source of so many bad dreams for so long.

She remembered Mukotsu and Naraku and Sesshomaru, and then she remembered her father, and then she remembered...

The claw-tipped hand gently braced against her shoulder with a featherlight touch, easing her back down to a horizontal posture. The face that was so familiar and yet so _new_ gazed down at her with quiet concern.

 _...Inuyasha._

"They'll be bringing breakfast soon," he said softly, almost looking sheepish to be waking her for such a reason.

"B-Breakfast?"

"It's past dawn. They usually come in and leave a tray for me because I'm never up early."

" _Such a lazy bum,"_ she heard herself laughing somewhere in her head, " _What will happen when I surpass you in strength because I have the sense to get up early and train?"_

" _That's fine, I'm proud of you either way."_ She heard his answer without him even moving his lips.

"O-Oh." Her words were back to being spoken aloud, in real time.

"I wanted to warn you before I - well, you know," Inuyasha sighed, flicking one of those dog ears in a display of discomfort, and then he deftly hoisted himself over her reclined form and plopped onto the mattress next to her. "They'll think it's weird if we're not in bed together."

Already she could feel the heat from his body at her back.

 _Oh gods oh gods oh gods -_

"You don't have to... _hold_ me yet, do you?" she grumbled, curling her body away from his as much as possible as she felt him slide beneath the blanket next to her. "We can just lay here and pretend to sleep, and that should be enough."

His reply was so quiet she nearly missed it. "No," he murmured, "I don't have to hold you."

"Good." She kept herself turned away, waited for the retort.

But it never came, much to her surprise and irritation.

When she could stand the silence no longer and finally whipped her head around to glare at him, she had to stop short.

He lay there on his bare stomach with his arms folded under his head, neck turned to one side, his eyes firmly closed and his face completely relaxed and serene beneath that curtain of long hair. It seemed he'd just gone right back to sleep. Like he was still exhausted.

 _He even sleeps the same way._

Kagome would allow herself one tiny, quiet sob as she looked at him. Just this once. Just this _one time,_ and then no more. _I'm tired of mourning ghosts of the past_ , she told herself as she angrily flicked the teardrop from her eye.

The tray with breakfast arrived a quarter of an hour later, just as he'd said, and just as he'd predicted, Inuyasha didn't stir.

But Kagome's promise to shed no more tears was broken immediately when she saw the bowl of fresh satsumas in the tray's rightmost corner.

 _She could see Okada's black hair hanging around him over the thick branch he was reclining on, his arms and legs dangling freely on either side. He held yet another satsuma in his right hand, which he motioned towards her, then let go. She caught it._

Inuyasha must have heard her whimper this time, because he blinked awake and lazily sat up.

"Are you alr - oh, breakfast, huh?"

He reached out over the bounty of meats and fruits and grabbed exactly what she'd thought - what she'd _known_ he would grab. He used the tip of a claw to slice it open, peeled it quickly, and offered her half without once meeting her eyes.

" _You're not Okada," I said to him._

 _And I was right, wasn't I?_

As she reached out to accept the offered fruit, Kagome saw that her hand was trembling.

To hide the look on her face, she had to turn away from him for the thousandth time.

If he noticed, he didn't say anything.

* * *

"Here," Miroku gasped out, dripping with sweat and barely able to stand on two legs he could hardly feel anymore.

Bracing with his free hand against a tree in the pitch-black darkness of the forest, he tried to remove the tiny youkai paws from where they clung to his shoulder and breastplate. The trembling child resisted with a terrified whimper, muffled beneath a fluffy foxlike tail that was singed and matted with blood.

"I'm not - I'm not going to leave you, I promise," Miroku panted, stumbling a bit where he stood. "I'm just going to get out of this armor so I can keep going faster."

There was a hesitant pause, and then the strength of the little boy's grip loosened. "W-We're not to the hiding place yet?" he asked in that soft, nervous voice.

"N-No," Miroku said, fighting to keep his tone light and soothing as he gently lowered the child to the tree roots and set him down. "We're not there yet. Probably not for a while yet."

As he discarded that stupid, heavy, ornate armor into the snow at his feet, Miroku snuck a glance at the woods behind him.

He didn't hear anything. There was no sign that any troops were in pursuit.

 _But we don't know that,_ he told himself resignedly, _We don't know that for sure._

And if he gave in to his exhaustion and trusted in fate right now, only to awaken to the points of eager swords and spears, to watch in horror as the youkai boy he'd traded all sense and security to save was run through before his eyes…

The last of his armor was off, and Miroku shivered at the chill of the icy wind on the sweat-soaked back of his yukata. Retying the sword tighter at his now considerably-smaller waist, he closed his eyes and allowed himself a few more deep breaths of sweet, cold air.

"Come on, kid," he whispered gently, bending down with his arms outstretched.

The boy climbed his arm much like a pet cat would, gripping with those pawlike hands and feet to secure himself. "We're going to the hiding place now?"

"Y-Yeah," Miroku said, curling his arm around the tiny body and gripping him closely. _Have to keep him warm. Don't I? I think so. Do youkai feel changes in temperature like we do?_

For the first time, now that adrenaline and impulse had worn off, it hit Miroku like a sack of bricks that he had no idea just what in the hell he was doing.

To stave off the fear and uncertainty, he just leaned into it. He reached up with his free hand and softly ruffled the kid's mop of unruly hair. "You know I'm your Uncle Miroku," he said with his best smile, "but what's _your_ name, little guy?"

As if it were instinct at this point, the youkai child snuggled the crown of his small head against Miroku's now unarmored chest, gripping the fabric of the damp, near-frozen yukata tightly. "Shippo," he said softly.

"Are you sleepy?"

The boy - _Shippo, Shippo, his name is Shippo and I'm going to save him even if it means I'm a dead man because at least then I can live whatever life I have left not wanting to slice myself open on my own swordpoint -_ blinked slowly and nodded.

"Go to sleep if you can," Miroku said. "It's late, and you've - " He stopped himself.

 _No. I'm not going to even say it. Let the kid forget, let him think it was just a bad dream, if just for a little while._

Shippo's eyes opened a bit wider and his grip on Miroku tightened with urgent concern. "You'll wake me up, right?" he asked. "When we get to the hiding place?"

"Of _course_ I will," Miroku said, starting forward again and feeling his knees knock painfully. He'd removed the heavy plate from his thighs and calves and _still_ it felt as if he were wearing training weights on them. "How else will you know you've won the game of hide and seek?"

* * *

"You're not from Taijiya," Sango accused, speaking loudly to drown out the sound of the blood pounding in her ears, "I know the name of every female Taijiya slayer going back a hundred years. I read their histories so much as a kid that I can recite them from memory."

"They struck me from the records, child. That's all they've ever done, for your whole life _and_ my own. When a girl from the legendary demonslaying village, the village that long provided the main warriors for the shogun, falls for a youkai and marries him, it's not something the elders want known. You really should eat that stew, dear; it'll get cold and then you have to actually focus on the taste."

Sango was unsure she'd be able to even swallow, but she wanted this old bag to keep talking, even if she was lying through her teeth. She clumsily grabbed the bowl and gave an exaggerated slurp, keeping her eyes locked with Kaede's the entire time.

"How is it?"

Sango wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her bodysuit. "Terrible," she growled.

Kaede chuckled again. "I told you, I'm no cook. Nazuna's a bit better, but she's busy helping with the ritual."

"What ritual?" Sango demanded, and despite herself she had to take another gulp of stew to ease the ache in her stomach. She felt the warm broth trickle down around her mouth and leaned forward over the frosty ground to avoid covering herself in it.

If Kaede heard her, she ignored the question. "I once felt as you did, young one," she said gravely, balancing her elbows on her knees and leaning forward in her seat. "I thought youkai were just monsters, just beasts to be slain. That's what we're told from birth, isn't it? That any youkai would as soon eat us as look at us. Taijiya taught me to be a vigilant, merciless hunter. Taught me that every youkai killed was another human saved."

Sango sent the old woman another defiant glare as she downed another throatful of stew.

"So you can imagine my surprise when I met my husband." Kaede's wrinkled mouth curled up in a fond smile once again.

"Let me guess," Sango said, "He was in human disguise to trick you." Her thoughts immediately went to poor Kagome, Kagome who had been so fooled, _Kagome who's out there facing gods know what all alone and here I am at this crazy old woman's mercy unable to do anything to help her..._

"Heavens, no!" Kaede gave another heaving laugh. "He wasn't even upright on two legs when I first saw him! Just another fish monster in the river where I'd stopped to drink on my way home from a mission, or so I thought.

"So I drew my weapon, ready to rid the world of another harmful creature, and I attacked. I tried to goad him into escaping the water, into taking his humanoid form for the attack so I could run him right through. But he wouldn't take the bait; he just kept dodging my slashes to the river's surface, all the while looking up at me with these strange blue eyes. He didn't seem afraid of me, but he didn't try to fight back, either. It was very confusing, to say the least." Kaede chuckled again.

Sango finished off the last of the stew, keeping firmly silent and keeping her brows drawn together tightly.

"I didn't even see the eel coming to attack until it was far too late. I'd disturbed the water, you see, and eel youkai are notoriously fond of human flesh; they're a more ancient form of the species and have yet to evolve past their animalistic roots."

 _What on earth is she spouting now? "Ancient form of the species," what absolute bullshit. All youkai crave human flesh; the_ animal _they resemble be damned._ Sango let out a scoff.

Kaede continued on as if she'd expected this doubtful reaction and was resolved to ignore it. "I managed to see it at the very last second, and stepped out of the way, tried to keep both the eel and the fish in sight, ready to fight on…but then I slipped and fell. My head struck a sharp rock."

With a gnarled finger, Kaede matter-of-factly indicated the black patch over her right eye. And despite herself, Sango waited with bated breath for her to continue the tale.

"Carved my eye clean out of my socket in a split second. I look back on it now and can only think it was fate; the fact that I was standing in the _exact_ right spot at that _exact_ river...well, I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?

"So there I lay, watching the water turn red with my blood with the one good eye I had left, and I must have been in shock, too stunned to move. I watched the eel youkai turn around and prepare to lunge for me once more. I didn't even have time to be _afraid_ ; it happened so quickly.

"But then it was like the river ceased flowing, and there was an enormous wall of water that rained down over us, and there was a _man_ there, in the water. A man with blue-green hair and skin I could nearly see straight through. Imagine my surprise when he leapt forward and tore the eel youkai to shreds with his hands and teeth. Tore it right in _two_ , right there in front of me.

"And then he knelt down beside me and reached for my face, and I saw the claws on his hands and realized just where my fish youkai opponent had disappeared to. I thought for sure I was about to be drifting down the river in pieces just like that eel was, but I still couldn't move - dear, would you like another bowl of stew?"

Sango blinked, felt the sting in her eyes, and realized she'd been forcibly holding them open for several long moments. "N-No," she said gruffly, then for some inconceivable reason she added, " _Thanks_."

Kaede gave another nonchalant shrug and nodded.

"So what happened?" Sango blurted.

 _Dammit. I shouldn't be even_ hearing _this, shouldn't be allowing this old bag to spin this obvious falsehood, but apparently I'm a little kid again, listening to all those stories of Taijiya warriors and dreaming of the day I'd be one of them._ Clearly fear and trauma had finally taken their toll, and here she was, insane and regressed and no use to anyone anymore.

"Oh. Sorry. Where was I, dear?"

"The fish youkai was in human form and reaching for your face." Sango adopted a sardonic tone to try and downplay that impulsive show of interest. "I think I know how this turns out. You immediately fell in love with him for saving you, and you threw away your pride as a human and as a warrior once he had you under his spell. How am I doing so far?"

Kaede's warm smile returned, but she wasn't aiming it at Sango; it wasn't a display of showboating or gloating at having an intrigued audience (however reluctantly so). It was a smile of _pity,_ and somehow that aroused Sango's anger even more.

"I can see how you would think so. I would have probably assumed the same if I were you. So young, and so sure, so _sure_ that the world is divided firmly into good and bad, and that you are the good and _they_ are the bad. As I said, I once felt just the same.

"But no, I was put under no intoxicating spell; I didn't fall in love with him instantly, or for a long while yet. In fact, the first words I ever spoke to him were to call him a hideous monster. Can you _imagine_ it? I laid there in the river shallows, paralyzed and bleeding, and called him _every single horrid thing I could think of_. Even as he looked upon me with such kind eyes, even as he gently lifted me from the water and braced me up on the riverbank to keep me from drowning, I cursed him and screamed and tried to will my limbs to move so I could fight him again.

"And he paid me no mind. He didn't even flinch when I spat right in his face. He just held his sleeve to my ruined eye and soaked up the blood to keep it from running into my nose and mouth.

"And then I suppose I fainted, because next thing I remembered was waking up there at the riverside with my wound fully cleaned and dressed with a cloth bandage. He even left me a bottle of poppy milk for the pain, which in my _infinite wisdom_ I poured out on the ground beside me. And so, it was a painful journey through the forest back to Taijiya for me."

Kaede shook her head and laughed again, and Sango felt her limbs and spine grow rigid and hunched again as she decided she didn't want to hear any more of this story.

It was repulsive; it was _blasphemous._

Youkai trickery was common knowledge. Sango herself had been warned about it from the age of understanding. This old woman might lie to _herself_ to rationalize her own indoctrination, but damned if she would keep lying to _Sango._

"We're sitting here with all these wolves around us," Sango hissed between gritted teeth, "Wolves that destroyed my entire village, _your_ village if you aren't lying to me about _that_ , and you want to tell me some bullshit love story that rationalizes your betrayal? They burned our houses to the ground, they brutally murdered my father, and you sit here petting and coddling them because _one youkai didn't kill you on sight and convinced you to marry him?_ "

Kaede fixed Sango with her one good eye, jaw set firmly. "I heard tell of Taijiya's destruction," she said finally, in a quiet, pensive voice, "but I thought it might have been propaganda. Shogun or Naraku, it makes little difference."

 _Who the hell is Naraku?_ Sango wanted to ask it but she refused to be tricked into changing the subject. "It wasn't propaganda. It happened. I was there. I got _this -_ " she violently shoved up her sleeve, revealing the burn-scarred flesh of her arm, " - from protecting the - "

She stopped short. _No way am I going to tell this traitor about the sacred weapons; she probably knew about their theft to begin with, since she's so closely allied with these_ creatures.

Suddenly Kaede was on her feet, marching forward, and Sango was sure she was about to have a fistfight with an aged old woman while hungry wolves looked on. But Kaede just stopped and knelt at Sango's side, taking hold of the burned arm and examining it carefully with her one eye.

"You poor thing," Kaede tutted, running a callused thumb over the scar tissue. Sango tried to jerk her arm back, but suddenly the dreaded pink glow was back, stilling the air flow around her and fixing her body in place.

"Don't - don't you - " Sango bit the words out through that rosy haze, fighting its call to soothe and comfort.

Kaede didn't look up, just laid her palm over the mottled skin, and the glow erupted from that wrinkled hand and there was such _relief,_ such _gentle coolness_ flooding over the healed burn, that Sango had to fight back a gasp.

"Someone dressed this wound well," Kaede observed softly, "You were under excellent care, weren't you? After it happened?"

 _Oh, no._

Kagome's face, in boyish disguise, popped into her mind first. Sweet, clear eyes and a kind smile _._

" _...I'm glad to see you're feeling a bit better. How's your arm?"_

And then another face.

" _My name is Miroku, Lady Sango. Do you promise to remember me now?"_

Rather than answer Kaede's question, Sango turned her face away to hide the rush of tears to her eyes.

"I can see you were," Kaede went on, "but lucky for you, my abilities go beyond healing herbs and bandage changes. There now, you see?"

All at once, the cool rush of sensation ceased. Sango felt Kaede gently release her arm, and it fell heavily into her lap.

Forcing the anguish of the past to the back of her mind with a hard swallow, Sango opened her eyes.

"What…?"

It was all she could whisper before her eyes were flooded with tears again. She blinked slowly - once, twice - and rotated the arm at the shoulder, unable to look away.

 _My scars. They're_ gone.

All the lingering ache, all the dullness of movement, all the disfiguring swirls of flesh. _Gone._

Sango's thoughts were consumed by the pink light, so familiar, _no, not familiar,_ exactly _like Kagome's._

"That must feel better, right?" Kaede stood back upright with a grunt, giving Sango yet another of those warm, confusing smiles.

Did this mean that Kagome could also physically levitate arrows out of bodies and remove scars that had long-since set in? _Surely not; we would have known that. Besides, every time Kagome used her powers it just about knocked her out, and here's this_ elderly woman _healing things twice as complicated and just sitting here_ talking _without a care in the world -_

"Your powers." Sango choked the words out, and once she began she couldn't stop. She _had_ to know, _had_ to have answers. "Where - how - "

"I told you, young one, I'm a miko. Chosen by the gods - "

"Yes, yes," Sango said impatiently, "You already said that, but - "

Kaede cleared her throat for silence. "Chosen by the gods, and chosen by _love._ "

It was with an arm that moved pain-free for the first time in ages that Sango clapped a hand over her mouth and fought back a choked sob. Her eyes stared wildly at the ground, and the tears dripped steadily from them, making tiny steaming pricks in the frostfall.

She felt a warm hand brace the center of her back. "You've seen powers like mine before," Kaede said softly, "Haven't you?"

Sango answered when she could speak again. "Yes, but Ka - her powers weren't nearly so strong, and they seemed to hurt her - no, _drain_ her every time she - "

Kaede clucked her tongue to indicate that she understood. "Ahhh. Friend of yours?"

Sango immediately realized that she had probably said too much, and looked away.

"Not to worry," Kaede said from her short height above Sango's head, "The gods created our bloodline for a reason, and even if things happen a little out of the norm, destiny can always be trusted to intervene and put things right."

 _Bloodline? What is she saying, that this_ youkai attraction _is something_ inherited? _Is Kagome actually predetermined to have all this happen to her, to go through such suffering, such_ agony -

Sango opened her mouth to demand what Kaede meant, but was interrupted by a young raven-haired girl, no more than a teenager, emerging from the mouth of the cave and sprinting toward them.

"Lady Kaede, Lady Kaede!" the girl cried, skidding to a stop. "You have to switch places _now;_ she's about to pass out and she can't hold the link anymore if she does - "

"Nazuna!" Kaede said sharply, and the girl snapped to attention. "Calm yourself. You won't be any use to us if you lose your head."

The girl named Nazuna took a deep breath and nodded reproachfully.

"I'll go now," Kaede said, and took a few hurried, waddling steps toward the cave before stopping once to look over her shoulder and fix Sango with that one age-lined eye.

"Girl of Taijiya," she called, "It will be a few days before we can speak again. I can sense that you're in a hurry, though, so if you must leave, allow yourself a few hours' time. By then, my companion will be recovered enough to answer any remaining questions you might have."

Sango was unsure what to say, and Kaede seemed to spot that ill-assuredness from her distant position.

"You have a friend in a precarious spot, dear. How better to help her than to listen to two women who've lived through it?"

"B-But she's been kidnapped!" Sango called desperately at Kaede's retreating back. "I have to go search for her - "

Kaede stopped walking again. "She has healing powers, doesn't she?" she barked without turning around.

"Y-Yes, but - "

"So she can't die. Not by any idle human nor youkai. Her body will heal her even without her knowledge. There's only one who can kill her in this half-miko state she's in, and that's obvious, isn't it?"

The old woman gave a casual gesture with one squat arm, and Sango understood.

She understood completely.

 _Then I absolutely_ have _to go,_ she thought with frantic speed, _If Okada - if that even_ was _his real name - has her, he might try to_ kill _her, or_ torture _her, or_ enslave _her and keep her at his side like the greedy dog he is._

Sango wasn't sure which option would be the worst.

It was as if Kaede had heard her thoughts, because for the third and final time the old woman stopped her hurried progress into the dark cave mouth.

"I don't know why I'm bothering with this," she grumbled, so low that Sango could barely make out the words. "You're like a younger me, through and through. Shoot first and ask questions later. No manners, no tact. _Nazuna!_ "

"Yes?" The dark-haired teenage girl had been standing there staring at Sango bewilderedly, but once again at the sound of her name she stood fully upright and rounded to face Kaede.

"Hold her there. At least until one of us has the strength to speak to her again."

Before Sango could react, Nazuna held up one hand, winced apologetically, and Sango cried out as her body contorted under the grip of barely-visible pink vines.

" _Gently,_ you stupid girl! Hold her _gently!_ "

Nazuna winced again, and as the rose-colored prison holding Sango in place grew looser but no less binding, she opened her mouth and whispered " _Sorry."_

* * *

"Alright, listen," Inuyasha said once they were finished eating what little they both seemed able to stomach, "My brother's sure to come by sometime this morning, so you can at least relax for now and be yourself. We'll see what he's found out and then we'll try and figure out a way to spring you out of here."

Kagome just nodded mutely. She looked so damned _miserable._

"But if we do have something we can act on," Inuyasha went on, feeling his nerves starting to get the best of him the more he spoke, "I...I don't want to say goodbye to you forever without giving you the answers I know you need. So you should ask me. Ask me anything, and you'll get the truth."

 _I promise,_ he nearly said, but caught himself in time. To her, his promises meant nothing at this point, and to pretend otherwise was delusional.

"Does it even matter?" Kagome replied after a moment with a broken imitation of a smirk. "Will it change anything that happens to me?"

 _Please don't talk like that, please Kagome -_

"I don't know." Complete honesty. Just as he'd sworn.

She sighed and ran a hand through that wild black mane on her head, and all over again he wanted to go _back,_ to undo what he'd done to her, to himself...

"Alright," Kagome said finally, jarring him out of his melancholy reverie. "Exactly what information did you send your brother about our troops?"

Inuyasha was in such a haste to reply that he had no time to dwell on the possessive she'd used. "It ended up just being the troops' movement patterns. I was told originally to keep an ear out for mentions of alternative weaponry; there were whispers of some tricks up the shogun's sleeve that would reduce any youkai advantages of strength or speed or durability, but at that point the only evidence we had was in the burnt-out shells of youkai villages. No survivors, no _corpses,_ even."

Kagome furrowed her brow in a pained grimace. "But we never saw anything like that."

"Like I said," he nodded solemnly, "I just ended up reporting travel plans."

He wondered if this sounded too much like a half-assed excuse to her, another plea for her to forgive him because _surely it wasn't all_ that _bad, what I did, right?_ The notion made him want to break down in wild laughter at himself; he still held such false hopes, didn't he?

"And," he added, barreling on as quickly as he could to cover his own ass, "I told Sesshomaru a bit about the recruits, and what little progress we were making with them. Just old men and boys, untrained and undisciplined. I wondered just why the hell he bothered letting me stay there, unless he was keeping me away from this place on purpose or - "

"'Old men and boys,'" Kagome repeated with a slow nod, drawing her lips tightly closed. "I see."

 _Shit._ Trying to assuage her with attempts at volunteering information was really working out well for him, wasn't it?

"I didn't mean _you_ ," he said quickly, "I meant - "

"You meant the rookie troops under _your_ command," she sniped coldly, "The men who trusted you, who adored you, who tried with all their strength and will to be just _like_ you."

"I - " He stopped and shut his mouth firmly. Once again, she was calling him out for being a horrendous bastard and once again, he had nothing to say in his own defense.

Kagome once again broke into that bitter, cynical smile and just shook her head, fixing him with narrowed eyes. "Just _one more_ thing that never even occurred to you, am I right? Your thoughts never went to what would _happen_ to all those 'old men and boys' if you actually gave your brother something _actionable_." She looked away from him, stared straight ahead, still smirking without an ounce of humor. "Well, _I_ saw what happened to them when your side decided to strike. I managed to save a few, of course, and I exposed my powers to some who wished harm upon me, but even then, it was too late for most of them."

"That was Naraku's doing, that was _his_ brutality," Inuyasha insisted, "My brother would _never_ \- "

"And _why_ was Naraku there?" Her eyes were back on his now, and the nihilistic smile on her lips was curled up even further in clear triumph. "Tell me that. Who _sent_ him?"

Inuyasha's brow furrowed and he shook his head. "That's not - "

Kagome seemed unsurprised at his less-than-direct reaction, because she shook her head with a scoff and looked away again, leaning forward in her seated position to rest her chin on her clasped hands.

He could do nothing but sigh and relent, even though he knew she already knew the answers he would give.

"Sesshomaru did. And it was because of _me._ Because I was too focused on borrowing more time for...for you and me, and I lost sight of what I was doing. On all fronts."

"I'm happy you can at least admit it," she said shortly, still aiming that bitter smile at the far wall.

 _I can, and willingly,_ he thought but didn't dare say, not now when she was still so disappointed in his shortsightedness, so unwilling to hear his meager excuses.

 _But Naraku's fingerprints are still all over this. If not for that extended-use vial he gave me that tricked me into false security, if not for his use of the wolf girl as a spy that let him learn of Kagome's powers...it might have ended with less bloodshed._

But no less heartbreak.

And that was the point she'd been making all along, wasn't it?

So much for giving her truthful answers that might satisfy.

So much for trying to salvage what little regard she'd ever had for him so they could say their final farewell without so much damned resentment.

This would happen every single time; that was just the stone cold truth. Inuyasha's actions had splintered their relationship, their _love,_ far too greatly. No amount of explaining or honesty after the fact could ever fix what he'd done.

There was nothing further he could say, and he knew it, and now they were probably back to that suffocating silence again.

But then, there was a knock at the door, and both of their heads snapped around to stare at each other frantically.

 _It's probably Sesshomaru,_ Inuyasha thought, trying to keep calm.

 _But if it isn't…?_

It was Kagome who seemed to relent first; she closed her eyes and gave a quick, annoyed huff before reaching her arms out and looping them around his neck.

Inuyasha responded by encircling her minute waist with his hands and pulling her onto his lap so she was straddling him. A brief second of thought later, he further dressed the scene by yanking one of the sleeves of her oversized yukata down to expose her bare shoulder.

Immediately, as soon as that shoulder appeared, as soon as that milky white skin was revealed, Inuyasha's agitated thoughts returned to the previous night, where in the midst of their charade Kagome had made the first move in a dangerous game.

And he remembered how coldly she'd dismissed her own actions afterward, how uncomfortable and miserable and wakeful his slumber had been as a result.

Since there was no winning with any words for him, surely there was no harm in winning the battle of _actions_ , right?

Before he thought too much and talked himself out of it, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kagome's exposed collarbone. He felt her squeak in surprise and tense up in his arms, but he pretended to take no notice and let the tip of his tongue trace a small, teasing circle just below the hollow of her throat.

And she moaned.

She actually _moaned,_ and he was instantly rock hard again.

He knew she was going to be furious with him later, when she had the freedom to be.

But as he took a deep inhale of her familiar scent, he felt himself growl lowly in his throat, and at that point he reckoned whatever wrath she'd unleash upon him would be worth it.

So, _so_ worth it.

It seemed at that moment that Kagome realized the challenging nature of his actions, and that competitive, defiant streak he so adored about her was not going to let her sit there and take it without giving a little of her own. He felt her hands grab rough fistfuls of his hair at the base of his neck, and she practically _lunged_ even closer.

The stakes were raising, and the danger was growing, and Inuyasha once again told himself to shut up, to relish the moment and deal with the consequences later. _Just this once,_ he rationalized. He'd told himself that once before, hadn't he?

The knock on the door sounded again.

Inuyasha felt the brush of her pubic bone against his lap; when he gave another involuntary growl of pleasure, she rotated her hips in one swift circle and _did it again._

And this time, his growl was harmonized by another moan. Hers.

Kagome hated him, that was a certainty, and why shouldn't she? But even though it was clear that she despised the mere _sight_ of him like this, in his true hanyou form, it seemed her body still _remembered_ him, and in a very different way.

She released her hold on his hair and placed both hands on his shoulders, urging him to sit lower, to lean back, and he complied, but not before gently nipping at the skin of her throat with his teeth.

At that, Kagome's eyes narrowed to thin slits and locked angrily with his own, and her lips tightened into a thin line as she dug her nails into his bare shoulders painfully.

Inuyasha couldn't help himself; he sent her his best sly smirk, which she promptly punished him for by rolling her hips once more, grinding even harder into him. The smirk all but fell off his face as he tried not to choke on his panting breaths of air.

 _How to pay her back for that,_ he dimly wondered, staring up into that beautiful face of hers, flushed in anger and clear arousal, those blue eyes blazing with ferocity.

He found the answer when he slid his hands from her waist down to her bare, muscled thighs, exposed from beneath the hiked-up yukata. He gripped her there tightly with the flesh of his fingers, careful not to scratch her with his claws, and let his hands firmly slide down toward her knees, then back up... _up..._ until they could travel up no more, and his fingers were splayed out against the fold of her lap, digging in once again.

She shivered; he felt it.

Feeling utterly triumphant at this point, Inuyasha slowly raised one thumb, hovered it over her most sensitive spot, prepared to gently press down and hear the shudder of delight from her beautiful mouth -

The knock on the door was loud enough this time to jolt them both back to reality, and Inuyasha lowered his thumb.

"Yeah, yeah, come _in_ already!" he snarled.

The door behind them slid open, and Kagome sent him a single disdainful look before she rolled herself off of him and curled herself into the crook of his left arm. It seemed she was still willing to play for an audience, but she'd realized, just as he had, where their actions were leading if they kept up with _that_ position. Careful to keep her eyes downcast, she simply laid her head on his shoulder and stroked gentle, affectionate circles over his chest with a single finger.

He paused, gave her one last lingering gaze, and then looked up, expecting to see his brother standing there looking utterly disgusted.

This time, the sound that rang forth from Inuyasha's throat was not a growl, but a vicious _snarl_ , and he felt Kagome jump in his arms and recoil backward at the suddenness of it.

The visitor wasn't Sesshomaru.

* * *

"So sorry to interrupt. I see you two are getting along _famously_."

Kagome couldn't see who it was at first, because Inuyasha's reaction to the intruder was so swift and violent and (there wasn't a better word for it) _feral._ It was such a change from the look he'd been sending her just seconds before.

She felt herself get thrown off balance as the shoulder she'd been resting her head on was suddenly not there anymore. Any thoughts of the past few moments evaporated in her mind, as well as any _response_ she'd been experiencing to them -

 _And I_ was _responding wasn't I; there's no lie I can tell myself to pretend -_

Inuyasha sat there in a crouch, his claws making small rips in the mattress as he braced himself on both arms and shielded Kagome with his body, looking ready to pounce at the slightest provocation.

Like a wild dog.

Like an _animal._

Kagome's initial instinct had been to fear his hanyou appearance, but now, just as she'd begun to adjust to it, to see the man _behind_ the strange features, she felt the terror rush back into her veins like ice water. And all she could do was sit there rooted to the spot.

"Awww, you're going to be like _that?_ " The voice was high and feminine, _flirtatious_ even, and Kagome stayed as still as possible and allowed herself a glance toward the door.

It looked to be a girl in her twenties, with hair cropped even shorter than Kagome's and a tall, curvaceous build. If not for the skin, so pale it was nearly translucent, or the eyes that burned a dark crimson, she could have passed for human.

But she wasn't. _She isn't._

And despite the girl's misleading appearance, there was something in her aura, in her casual red smile. Something menacing... _evil._

Inuyasha's extreme reaction to the girl's presence suddenly didn't seem so extreme after all, and Kagome could only sit there like a fool and gawk.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Inuyasha screamed raspily, remaining on guard, growling uncontrollably, edging himself even further in front of Kagome. "GET OUT!"

The newcomer didn't seem the least intimidated, but she _did_ look at Kagome's frightened reaction with marked amusement. "Relax, my love," she giggled, folding her arms over her large breasts. "I just came to bring your human some clothes. I heard a little whisper that she was needing a dress or two. Of course, we're not going to be the _exact_ same size; everything will be a bit looser around the _chest_ , but it'll do for now, won't it?"

"What makes you think we'll accept _anything_ from you?" Inuyasha snapped. "GET OUT!"

The girl gave an exaggerated wince, clapping her hands delicately over her ears. "Oh, _Your Highness_ , is the volume really _necessary?_ And here I thought you'd be grateful!"

She said ' _Your Highness'_ with such an air of sarcasm, of thinly veiled contempt, and Inuyasha snarled again. "You're lucky I don't _kill_ you right now," he hissed through gritted teeth. His expression was growing more and more wild, more _out of his mind_ with rage.

The girl gave a high, bell-like laugh. "That would be silly of you to try, wouldn't it?"

The closest projectile Inuyasha seemed to find was a piece of splintered wood on the floor by the bedroll, and he gave another feral scream and launched it at the girl's face. She raised a hand, undisturbed, and the sharp object just _halted_ in midair, as if she were a traveling illusionist performing a trick for wide-eyed village children.

Kagome took a harsh breath and stared as the wood cracked and exploded into hundreds of tinier shards, right there several feet above the floor. The shards just floated there, and Inuyasha sent Kagome further behind him with a shove that was hurried and rough.

The menacing visitor shot Inuyasha a bemused look at this, seemed to purposely hesitate a few harrowing seconds, and then tugged her hand backward. The razor-sharp splinters just clattered to the floor.

As she watched it happen from beneath Inuyasha's protective arm, Kagome realized she could _see_ them - tiny threads laced through the girl's long-nailed fingers, so thin that not even the light could catch them.

But the amount of light in the room was immaterial, Kagome realized. She could see the _power,_ the energy coursing through the threads. Power that was ready to do as its mistress bid - to grab, to throw, and _what else, gods, what else?_

Could Inuyasha see them as well? From the look on his face, he wasn't shocked that his attack was repelled. The action had been more of a statement than anything else, it seemed. But he _had_ been worried at the prospect of the girl launching the splinters right at them both. He'd seen her do this before. Perhaps _worse._

"Really, Your Highness," the girl curled her lips into a sneer and clicked her tongue against her teeth as if she wasn't mad, just _disappointed_ , "And after all you and I have been through, you treat me with so little _friendliness?_ "

Inuyasha seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating, of working himself up to the point of exhaustion. Before she could think better of it, Kagome reached forward and curled her hand firmly around his upper arm, and she might have been imagining it but she thought his breathing slowed just a fraction.

That action drew the mysterious visitor's attention, and Kagome found herself caught in the girl's smirking red gaze.

"Hello, we haven't been properly introduced. So rude of you, _darling_." The last part was sent with a sidelong glance at Inuyasha, who reacted by reaching with his opposite hand to protectively cover Kagome's with his own. "My name is Yura. I hope your journey here wasn't too difficult, and I hope you won't judge our dear Prince Inuyasha's rudeness _too_ harshly. He's always been a bit... _different._ "

Something about Yura's condescending tone hit Kagome like a slap in the face, and the only reaction she could find was outrage. _On his behalf._

"Oh, no," she replied smoothly, fighting to keep her fear under wraps, "Considering the circumstances, he's been perfectly fine. Until _you_ walked in here."

Kagome felt Inuyasha's hand squeeze hers even tighter. An attempt at reassurance, perhaps, or maybe even _gratitude_ that she was standing up for him when it was the last logical thing for her to do? She wasn't sure, and this wasn't the time to ponder.

Yura's red-lipped smile widened, and it could easily have been mistaken for good-natured friendliness, if not for the fact that there was _nothing_ behind her eyes. Nothing but a black hole of contempt. "Yes," she said with a demonstrative shrug of her shoulders, "I'm afraid you're witnessing a lot of history between us. But, of course, he's told you all about me, hasn't he?"

"No," Inuyasha snarled, "There's nothing to _tell_ her. You're nothing. Just a pawn of that man you call 'Father.'"

"You say such _mean_ things sometimes," Yura whined, sticking out her bottom lip, "I know you don't mean them, not really, but _still._ " She blinked, and the hungry smile returned, just as quickly as it had gone. "For you to pretend it's not _my_ face you see every night when you close your eyes? That _hurts_ , my love."

Inuyasha growled again, giving a minute flinch backward. It looked like he was going to lunge for Yura in response, but then he pressed his fingers even tighter over Kagome's and seemed to think better of it.

"Perhaps it's for the best you didn't tell her... _everything,_ " Yura went on, tapping a finger to her chin thoughtfully, "It might hurt your little human's feelings to know that she's not the _only_ girl in your life - oops! I've said too much, haven't I? Silly ol' me."

Kagome knew enough of this girl already to be certain that any reaction she gave to this statement would only make Yura more delighted, so she just remained still and kept the guarded look on her face.

"When Sesshomaru finds out you've been in here," Inuyasha bit out through bared fangs, "Not even Naraku will spare you from his wrath."

"I'm not too concerned," Yura said casually, "His Royal Highness is a bit busy at the moment. Matters of state, war strategy, personal problems, you know, all of that. _Booooring,_ am I right?"

"What the hell are you - " Inuyasha's muscles tensed under Kagome's grip.

"Anyway," Yura sang, raising her hand again and giving a single slow curl of her pointer finger, "I almost forgot what I came here to do! It was just too much fun to catch up; I'm sure you agree!"

From a neatly folded pile on the floor by the doorway rose two silken kimonos, both thin and delicate and - from what Kagome could see - quite _revealing._ The hairlike threads looped over Yura's fingers held the two garments aloft, showing them to Kagome like a merchant girl trying to make a sale. "Not bad, right?" Yura sent Kagome a wink. "Of course, he met you when you were disguised as a man, so perhaps that's his preference, but I'll leave _that_ up to the two of you. In _private._ "

Inuyasha's glare deepened, and so did Kagome's, right along with him.

Yura laughed again. "This is just _too cute_ ," she exclaimed, flicking the kimonos onto the mattress in front of Inuyasha. "You were so angry with him when you came here, weren't you? Because he lied to you about...well... _everything_ , didn't he? And now it's just a few days later and, well...I have to hand it to you, Your Highness, you haven't lost that charming streak of yours!"

"You should leave," Kagome said quickly, telling herself not to listen, not to take any of it in, _I can think about it later and hate myself again but right now -_

Yura's vicious grin widened, and the cold red abyss of her eyes grew sharper. "Giving orders already, huh? You'll be a _wonderful_ addition to the royal family!

"Won't she, Inuyasha?"

That seemed to be his breaking point, because suddenly the arm Kagome was holding onto wasn't there anymore, and he was running toward Yura with furious strides, rearing back with those sharp claws to strike -

And he halted in place, hand aloft, almost as if he'd changed his mind. But Kagome heard his choked gasp and she realized -

 _Don't you dare -_

Kagome was on her feet and she didn't care that he was in every way stronger than her, especially when it came to fighting hand-to-hand, she didn't _care,_ she wasn't going to just sit there and _watch this happen -_

She leapt forward, ready to punch where Inuyasha had tried to slash -

 _Don't you DARE -_

Yura grinned and flicked her hand once more, and the hair shot toward Kagome, ready to catch her and hold her at mercy as well -

 _Don't you DARE TOUCH HIM._

Kagome ducked backward, watched the threads shoot over her head with lightning speed -

She wasn't going to give Yura time to realize what had happened, there was _no way_ she was going to let that happen. So she twisted her legs to restore a stable footing and sent a ferocious punch with her right fist.

It was right on target, colliding with Yura's sharp cheekbone and sending the wicked woman stumbling backward with a surprised cry.

Immediately, Inuyasha's nearly-undetectable bindings went slack, and he was there, standing in front of Kagome. He grabbed both of Yura's hands, twisted her around to pin her arms behind her back, and then, seemingly unable to resist, he headbutted the back of her head, sending her face-first into the doorframe.

"Kagome!" he cried over Yura's pained shriek, " _Door!"_

Kagome didn't stop to wonder what he meant.

She didn't have to. Her body was moving on its own, and she flung the sliding door open and jumped out of the way to let Inuyasha shove Yura's body through the opening.

"Guards!" he bellowed, and Kagome could hear the rushing response. "Get this _bitch_ out of here, and double the sentries on duty. No one _in or out_ without clearance from my brother. Understood?"

"She - she told us she was here by your invitation, Your High - "

Inuyasha released Yura with a wild shove, and Kagome heard her collide with the far wall and then cry in protest at what must have been the guards dragging her off.

"No one in or out," Inuyasha hissed, " _No one._ Tell my brother I need to see him immediately."

The guards all stammered vague affirmations, and Inuyasha slapped the door closed again without another word. He stood there, resting his forehead against the frame (which, much to Kagome's dark satisfaction, now had a forehead-shaped dent in it from Yura getting her just retribution) and breathing heavily. His face was flushed and red, and his hands were shaking.

Slowly, though, he seemed to be expelling the feral rage from his system and returning to normal.

 _Normal normal normal he's normally so -_

Kagome was having trouble catching her breath herself, but it was less from physical exertion and more from - from - _I can't even find the word for it._

"You shouldn't have done that," Inuyasha mumbled finally, still facing away from her, his face obscured by that huge mane of white hair. His ears were flat against his skull.

"Wh-What?" Kagome had been dreading the heartfelt gaze, the expression of gratitude, but _this_ was unexpected. Unexpected, but not unwelcome.

 _Yes, good, let's just move on and not overthink this, alright? I'm tired of you looking at me so lovingly and trying to prove me wrong at every given moment -_

"That power of hers," he said softly, his face still unseen, "Those invisible threads - they're sharp as knives. She could have cut your head clean off, and she's stupid enough to do it without thinking about the consequences - "

"They _aren't_ invisible," Kagome protested. Defiance was a great retreat; anything to keep herself from getting introspective. "They _radiate_ with energy. They're hard to notice if you aren't looking for them, but they're not - "

He turned his head then, but kept his body facing the door, as if he was using it to hold himself upright until he trusted himself to do it on his own. "You can _see_ them," he said, and the surprise and wonder in his voice was obvious even with his hushed tone.

Kagome paused, and nodded.

 _So he_ can't. _That answers_ that _question, I guess._

A humorless smile came upon his face, and his eyes got that faraway look again as he turned his head back to face the door panel again. "When I watched you dodge, and come back up unscathed," he said, "I thought it was just the gods finally answering me. For the first time in my life."

 _What the hell do you mean by that -_

No, Kagome decided, she didn't want to think about it.

Here they both were, getting reflective again, and she couldn't ever escape it.

"This is bad, though," Inuyasha said, finally turning away from the doorframe and taking a few steps into the center of the room. His brow was deeply furrowed, and he ran a hand through his hair, and once again Kagome felt that treacherous thump in her chest in reaction to the gesture. "They're acting bolder than we expected. And where the hell is my _brother_ when this is happening right under his nose?"

"That girl - Yura - she said that - "

He gave a violent shake of his head. "Yura lies," he muttered. "Do you understand me, Kagome? Yura _lies._ For her it's as easy as breathing. She'll sprinkle in some small truth to try and hit where it hurts, but she always, always _lies._ "

The intense stare he was giving her prompted Kagome into a weak nod of acknowledgment. "A-Alright," she said softly. "So what was true and what was - "

Inuyasha shook his head again, but much more gently, and the dark smile was back on his face. "None of it," he said.

He was lying too, wasn't he? And that conclusion would have brought Kagome a cold sort of triumph just _moments_ ago, _moments_ before that girl with the vicious, seductive smile had walked through the bedroom door…

 _A liar he's a liar he's always been a liar -_

But now it just left her feeling hollow. Hollow and pitiful and _terrified._

Because he seemed to be lying now to protect her from the truth.

 _To protect me from the truth just like he's been trying to do in his own clumsy stupid way from the very beginning but can't you see it doesn't work like that it_ CAN'T _work like that -_

And so, once again, Kagome's thoughts were at war with each other, and she could only stand there like a fool.

As she stared at him, Inuyasha's eyes fell on the two kimonos Yura had brought, and he stepped forward and swiped them both up off the mattress with a single harsh motion. In a flash he was back at the door; he opened it up a crack and threw them both out into the dark hallway.

"Burn those," he snapped at whatever unseen guards were standing there. "And find out what the _hell_ is keeping my brother, will you?"

* * *

" _Please, my lord, please. Tell me. When can I serve you? When can I make you proud of me?"_

" _Soon, my dearest. Very soon. But for now...sleep. And dream of me."_

* * *

 _ **Ooooh, lookie there I did a mean stinger didn't I**_

 _ **MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA**_

 _ **Sango's first class at Kaede University of Why-Everything-You-Knew-Is-Probably-Wrong was...a modest success I spose**_

 _ **Miroku Ragrets, Ch33 Edition (tm): 1, why did I skip leg day; 2, why am I suddenly a dad oh well I will adore and protecc my boi**_

 _ **Inuyasha: Here Kagome ask me anything fr anything it's all out on the table**_

 _ **Kagome: *asks sensible question**_

 _ **Inuyasha: WAIT WAIT I WAS JOKING HAHAHAHAHA SHIT**_

 _ **Also I gotta say, writing the part where Inu CRONCHES Yura's face into that doorframe...mmmmmm...better than sex I tell ya. I almost wanted to just go all meta, stop the fic, rewind it, and play it again...and again...and AGAIN...**_

 _ **SEE Y'ALL NEXT TIME! AS ALWAYS THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING, MEANS A BUNCH! - meggz0rz**_


	34. Epiphanies

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Thirty-Four**

 **EPIPHANIES**

* * *

 _ **SONGS!**_

 _ **"People Like Us" by Kelly Clarkson (Sango's about to get schooled and I for one am ready for it)**_

 _ **"Liar" by Camila Cabello (INUKAG INUKAG INUKAG MWAHAHAHAHA)**_

 _ **"If You Could Only See" by Tonic (this is for Inuyasha because he is such a devoted wonderful boi and in this house we STAN)**_

 _ **"The Promise" by Tracy Chapman (FUCK IT ANOTHER INUKAG SONG YESSSSS)**_

* * *

The vicious, hateful look on Sango's face seemed to at least unnerve Nazuna, but even though the young girl shuffled from foot to foot and was clearly trying to avoid making eye contact, the magical vice that bound Sango's limbs so unyieldingly never once faltered.

After several minutes of tense silence, Sango changed tactics.

"So you've got powers, too," she growled, "I take it you got _yours_ from fornicating with a youkai monster as well?"

Nazuna's head snapped up to look at her, eyes wide and shocked.

That _got your attention, didn't it?_ Sango thought with a cruel satisfaction.

If she could slice deep enough with her words, maybe Nazuna would lose her concentration, and maybe it would be long enough for Sango to make her move…

"I - " Nazuna stammered, her eyes darting this way and that with clear discomfort. Her face was turning pink.

Still, the prison around Sango didn't waver.

"Do you think you were _chosen_ too? Do you think you're part of some holy bloodline, that your proclivity toward demons is a _gift from the gods?_ "

Nazuna kept her hands up, holding the glowing bonds in place, but she was starting to tremble. "Y-Yes," she whispered, looking like she was trying to convince _herself_ more than anyone else.

 _Good,_ Sango thought to herself, _She's getting distracted. She's faltering._

"That old witch spoke of true love, of being misunderstood by the world and overcoming all odds," she said with a cold smirk, "but if the love between a human and a youkai is so _pure_ and _natural_ , then why the hell are you out here hidden away in the forest, and where are your demon lovers to stand by your sides?"

"P-Please," Nazuna said, and her eyes had grown glassy with unshed tears, "Please... _stop_. I know you're confused and you're angry and you want me to let you go but - _but_ \- "

For a moment Sango felt ashamed of herself, ashamed of what she was doing, ashamed of who she was _becoming_ , but stubborn as always, she shook the sobering thoughts from her head and charged on. "If you're so unashamed, why can't you answer my question?"

Nazuna's face crumpled with distress and sorrow, but she bit her lip and emphatically braced her arms outward.

The near-invisible bindings around Sango's body pulsed and tightened to the point of discomfort, but Sango refused to display weakness a second time, refused to even wince.

"Y-You were raised in Lady Kaede's village," Nazuna said softly, casting her eyes downward as her face flushed even darker, "You're one of her people. S-So I understand why you hate youkai, but not all youkai are the monsters you say they are, I swear it, they have _feelings_ and _loved ones_ just like us, and - "

Sango gave a harsh scoff. "Really? Because all I've _ever_ seen from _any_ youkai is bloodlust, bloodlust and violence and _murder_."

Nazuna flinched a bit at this, but then timidly stuck out her chin. "H-How can you _see_ ," she said, and her voice was still wavering but less so, "if you never even thought to _look?_ "

 _What is this condescending bullshit?_

Outraged, Sango spat, "When you lose your entire family to a youkai attack, then I'll be glad to let you lecture me."

"She _did_."

The voice came from Sango's left side, and both she and Nazuna jumped, then turned to face the speaker.

 _How long has this woman been standing here?_

Sango wasn't sure; she'd been so focused on tearing this young girl to shreds.

Once again, there was a dark flash of shame within her, and for a fleeting moment Miroku's face popped into her mind, and all she could think was how glad she was he hadn't heard any of the venomous things she'd said. Miroku was no lover of youkai, but he would have drawn the line at tormenting and insulting someone who was so clearly vulnerable, no matter the circumstances.

 _Because he's kind and good above all else, and I can try to take the moral high ground all I want but I'm vengeful and cruel and -_

"Hello, slayer girl." The newly-arrived woman looked Sango up and down with a neutral expression. "I've been told you attacked these wolves earlier, and that you desperately need answers, whether you agree or not."

"L-Lady Midoriko!" Nazuna cried, smiling gratefully.

* * *

Now that Yura was gone and there was no common fury to unite them, Inuyasha had the sobering expectation that now he was going to have to answer for the seductive tug-of-war he'd started with Kagome just minutes before.

But when Kagome moved again, it wasn't to attack him, to give _him_ one of those punches to the face that she'd so fiercely given Yura.

She just approached at his side, curled a small hand into his sleeve, and tugged gently to make him turn and look down at her.

"When I arrived here yesterday," she said, her brows knit together in puzzlement, "You were injured. _Severely_."

 _What a mild way to say 'half-dead and out of my fucking mind.'_

"Yeah."

"Who - " she began, and then seemed to think better of it. Probably wary of showing anything he could misconstrue as concern.

He answered her anyway.

"Naraku brought me back... _that night_ , and I was here for all of five minutes before Sesshomaru had me thrown in the dungeon."

Kagome slowly turned to look him in the face again. "...You were _tortured?_ " The tone was dubious, and her expression was guarded.

 _No, no, I don't wanna talk about this, I don't wanna go_ back -

Back to that frozen, bloodstained room.

Back to that peal of sadistic, girlish laughter that he could still hear with perfect memory.

Back to that horrific sensation of his sanity and his spirit being cleaved into fractions, his full comprehension of it happening, his inability to do anything to stop it…

Inuyasha forced the wall back up in his mind. He felt himself shiver, and he knew Kagome saw it, and he looked up at her, ready to try and deflect, to change the subject so he wouldn't have to -

Her blue eyes were shining so brightly, and the furrow in her brow had only deepened. It was a look of horror, _but not at me, not at me this time…_

She was scared _for_ him.

He ran a hand over his face, realizing that there was no helping it, he'd have to at least tell her the bare minimum. _But not everything, this is one thing I can't tell the complete truth about, not to her, I can't bear the thought of her knowing - knowing -_

Before his thoughts ran away with themselves again, he gestured with his chin at the rumpled bedroll, fighting to keep his tone light and casual, to not betray the fact that his mind, his _soul_ , was screaming warnings that rattled his skull.

"Maybe we'd better sit back down."

* * *

The woman standing there before Sango and Nazuna was sweaty and pale with clear exhaustion, but her posture was upright and her mannerisms collected.

She stood there in an ornate formal kimono, similar to the ones Sango and Kagome had been all but forced into just days ago, with her hands clasped together delicately. She reminded Sango of some of the court ladies living at the shogun's palace - never a hair out of place, never a slip of the tongue or a hint of indecorous behavior.

Except this expensive kimono had tied-back sleeves and a dirty, bedraggled hem, and the woman's hands were stained brown with what looked like…

 _Blood._

But whose?

"Are you alright, milady?" Nazuna asked, and the look she gave the newcomer was nothing short of _worshipful_. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you outside; Lady Kaede told me to - "

"It's alright, little dove," the woman said softly, her red lips curving into a fond, serene smile, " _I'm_ alright. Just tired, of course."

Nazuna returned the smile, her eyes shining, and right then the magical ropes that bound Sango in place seemed to flicker out of existence.

Sango pounced at the chance, slamming both feet against the ground and flipping herself in a backwards somersault -

"Hmm, _no_." The woman's voice remained so casual, so _conversational_ , and Sango cursed under her breath as she was seized mid-maneuver and held immobile once more. "Not yet, slayer girl. As Kaede told you, there's more you should know. There's more we must tell you."

"I'm sorry, Lady Midoriko!" Nazuna said fretfully, abandoning her guarded posture and rushing to the regal woman's side. "I shouldn't have - I lost my head for a moment and I might have ruined _everything -_ "

"Don't apologize," Midoriko said gently, "You never have to apologize to me, Nazuna."

Nazuna had been holding Sango in place with both hands and had clearly required intense focus to do so, but Midoriko was now doing the same with _one hand_ , and she was conversing with her young companion as if Sango was _the very last thing on her mind_.

 _What kind of power is this?_ Sango wondered, a chill overtaking her limbs as she stared in terror and wonder.

"Let me see your arms, little dove." Midoriko laid her free hand on Nazuna's shoulder.

Nazuna's face reddened and her tone of voice grew flustered once more. "Oh, milady, please don't trouble yourself; I'll be just fine!"

"You've _never_ been any trouble to me," Midoriko said. The hand on Nazuna's shoulder now raised to cup the young girl's flushed cheek. "Never."

Nazuna visibly swallowed, and she held adoring eyes to Midoriko's face while gingerly pulling up the long sleeves of her plain kimono.

Sango nearly choked on a gasp.

Spiraling patterns of black bruises, curling all around Nazuna's arms, reaching all the way to her shoulders…

 _Like Kagome's._ Just _like Kagome's._

Still holding Sango's twisted body in place, Midoriko gave a sympathetic cluck of her tongue and gently waved her other hand over the mottled, darkened skin.

The vines of black faded and disappeared in the span of a blink, and Nazuna visibly sighed with relief, all signs of weariness gone from that youthful face.

* * *

"I think the dungeon was initially just to keep me from running back to find you, but yes, Naraku got involved, and soon I got a pretty good notion of what my brother's _actual_ plan for me was."

Inuyasha spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, but Kagome could see how far away his eyes had gone.

It seemed as if the emotional part of his brain had gone away, away to somewhere, and what was left over was automatic and distant. _To keep him from reliving the trauma,_ she realized, and once again there was an annoying pang in her heart despite her thousandth inner declaration that she was _done_ feeling any sympathy for him, _done_ letting his words or actions have any effect on her whatsoever...

"If Naraku assumed the obvious - that Sesshomaru was well and truly _done_ protecting my dumb ass, and that he wanted me punished for fucking everything up so royally - well, he'd have a barrel of laughs sending one of his sick followers to try and break me," he went on, "You can always count on an insane sadist to act like an insane sadist. And Naraku sure didn't disappoint."

Kagome took a shallow breath in, out, tried to erase the concern that she knew was etched all over her face. "Wh-What did he do?"

"Naraku?" Inuyasha blinked, then slowly smirked, his eyes still out of focus, still far away in some safe place. "Directly, not much, besides taunt me a bit about falling so hard for a human girl and insinuate he had some sort of sinister design on your new powers."

He'd mentioned this idea before, or maybe it had been Sesshomaru, but it didn't scare her any less to hear it.

"But then Naraku let the _real_ torture start and...well…" He trailed off, shaking his head no, as if he were telling himself not to go there, that it wasn't smart.

 _You were still freshly bleeding when I first saw you,_ she thought. _None of your wounds had been allowed to heal._

Inuyasha had been in that dungeon undergoing unspeakable things from the very night he'd parted from her.

Quickly, in her mind, she tried to think - how many days _had_ it been? How many weeks? Her own trauma was still painting a thick haze over the time since that night in Ryusei, skewing her perception of the timeline, but it had to be at least two weeks.

 _Two weeks. Fourteen days. Maybe a few more, maybe a few less._

Pinning it down like that made it sound like nothing, didn't it? But it seemed like _years_ had passed, and she knew Inuyasha would agree with her on that front.

"It was Yura," she said softly. "Doing the torturing, I mean."

His humorless smile didn't shift a bit, and he nodded.

That answer begot a thousand more questions in her mind, but something - instinct, caution, _compassion_ \- gave her pause.

"If Sesshomaru's motive has always been to protect you, from the beginning," Kagome whispered, trying to ignore the pricklings of outrage on Inuyasha's behalf that once again tickled the back of her neck and the fine hairs on her arms, "then how could he _allow_ \- "

"You've never been tortured," he interrupted, still with that distant smirk on his face, "And thank the gods for that; I was worried that was what Naraku wanted for you, and I couldn't get _out_ , couldn't do a _thing_ about it...heh, sorry, I was answering your question, wasn't I?

"When you're undergoing something like _that_ for a long time," he went on, raking a hand through that silver-white hair in that vulnerable, sheepish, all-too-familiar gesture, "they're trying to make _you_ talk, to give up information. But if you're lucky, they'll end up feeding _you_ information without even realizing it. Especially if they're someone like Yura - all bloodlust and no sense.

"So when my brother thought enough time had passed that he could be seen to relent without it looking suspicious, he got me out and I told him what I'd picked up on." He lowered his gaze to his hand on his knee, obscuring those hazy golden eyes. "Once I remembered my own name, anyways," he mumbled. The hand slowly curled into a loose fist.

Kagome could objectively understand it, she supposed, but putting herself in Sesshomaru's state of mind was an entirely impossible chore.

 _That's his_ brother, _how could anything so_ horrible _possibly be seen as_ worth it?

Without warning, Sota's face popped up in her head, smiling and carefree.

 _Gods, how long has it been since I thought of Sota, since I_ let myself _think of -_

Kagome realized that now her mind, too, was trying to travel to distant places to escape the horrors she was hearing, even places that she had been refusing to go for fear of breaking herself again.

Even thinking of her _family -_ of what they must be going through, of how they must be living in terror on her account _every single day that passed_ \- was less frightening than letting herself try to picture Inuyasha's time, _at least two weeks fourteen days gods above us_ , in that dungeon.

 _But what did she do to you what exactly did she_ do _-_

 _I've watched you grab the tip of a sword and slice your hand open and you didn't flinch didn't even_ flinch _so what could she possibly have done to make you so -_

 _Why was she so certain you can't sleep without seeing her face and why did you_ react _when she said so -_

Kagome held her tongue. She wasn't sure if she should ask anything further; he seemed so withdrawn already that pressing him further into that dark place might cause him more harm.

 _Why do I care if I cause him harm; I said it myself, didn't I, that he deserves all he's gotten and worse?_

But now, it would seem, that stubborn defiance she'd clung so tightly to regarding him recoiled back at her like a hard slap to the face, and she felt shame wash over her like a rush of icy water as she sat there and stared at him, took him in entirely.

 _All that happened...it left him just as broken as it left me,_ she thought, _if not_ more _so because he had to deal with the_ blame for it…

Here was another point where her rational mind would normally intervene, and reaffirm that all the fucked-up things she'd been through, all the trauma, all the death and destruction, were because of _him_ , and that she owed him nothing, least of all her compassion or her understanding.

And here, again, was silence from that dissenting voice, and Kagome felt herself take a shaky breath as she realized what that meant.

She opened her mouth to speak, unsure of what she would say, of what she _could_ say, but trusting herself to figure it out as she went.

 _I mean, why not, it's probably how I've managed to survive_ this _long. No forethought, no real plan, just_ winging it _, just barging ahead and hoping for the best. Gods, I'm just as bad as_ he _is, aren't I -_

For the first time, there was no self-questioning, no second-guessing, as she braced her arms into the mattress, supported her own weight, and slid herself closer to his side. She moved deliberately, _gently_ , so as not to startle him, because he still was so lost in his own dark thoughts and she could _tell_ by looking at him, just the way she'd always been able to tell what he was thinking, ever since the beginning, the _very beginning._

 _Even when we were apart, even when I swore to hate you, it was your voice inside my head, goading me, teasing me, encouraging me. I always knew exactly what you'd say to me no matter the situation, no matter how I tried to shut you up or drive you from my mind..._

Slowly, he raised his head to look over at her, and there was a hesitant confusion on his face.

The knot in Kagome's spine seemed to be gone, _just like that, it's gone,_ and the guarded hunch in her neck and shoulders had also disappeared. She stared up at Inuyasha - he was a good head taller than her even when they were sitting, _he always had been, hadn't he_ \- and let herself scan the depths of those amber-gold eyes openly, without any shame, for the very first time.

 _Beautiful,_ she thought, letting herself decide and declare it without wanting to mentally flog herself.

 _Like the brightest treasure._ That was what she'd thought the first time she saw them, wasn't it?

She'd long dismissed that flattering description as the terrified observations of someone who thought they were going to die. But she'd been lying. Delusion masked as rationality, and all in the aim of some ridiculous contrition.

 _I was so blind...so stubborn and_ foolish…

The dark brows above his beautiful eyes furrowed, and she dimly heard him speak, heard him ask if she was alright. He had to be wondering if she had gone insane.

Kagome's epiphany was too fresh, the sheer _relief_ too loud in her entire being, for her to trust herself to reply just yet. The words would have been gibberish.

All she could do was what felt natural.

Lowering her gaze, she reached out and gently took one of his hands in both of hers.

 _These calluses on his palm...just as I remember them_ , she thought, as she let herself trace them with a featherlight caress.

 _Same long fingers._ She laced her own there in the caverns between each digit - _it feels like home, doesn't it,_ she observed with quiet elation, _our hands always fit together so perfectly, they_ always _did -_ gave a single squeeze and released. Then, she singled out his pointer finger, encircling the base of it with three of her own much smaller ones, and delicately trailing her grip upward.

When she reached the claw, there on the tip of his finger, she touched it gingerly with the pad of one digit, and then adjusted her hold and used both her thumbnails to ghost over the smooth, pearlescent surface, feeling herself lean down to get a closer look, to savor the first interaction.

 _These...well,_ these _are new, I guess._

In her euphoric, relieved state, Kagome had to fight back a giggle.

What poor Inuyasha must think of her right now, she couldn't imagine.

When her almost scientific curiosity about his claws was satisfied (at least for the time being), she held his hand loosely in both of her upturned palms - _this hand that always touched me with such care and adoration, even though he knew who he was and who I was and how it would probably end he was always so gentle wasn't he -_ and raised her gaze slowly.

Not to his eyes again, no, but to the top of his head.

The urge to snatch her hand out and discover those as well was nearly setting her aflame there where she sat, but she made herself pause and glance at his face.

Inuyasha's brow was still knit tightly together; his expression was still completely bewildered.

Kagome wondered for a moment if perhaps she'd gone too far without verbally explaining herself first; such a display of curious affection had probably frightened him. If she herself was marveling at how sudden her entire mindset had shifted - not _changed,_ she knew, but _shifted_ , then _Inuyasha_ was no doubt thrown for a loop. He was probably frantically entertaining every possible explanation in his head - either she really _had_ completely cracked and lost her grip on sanity, or the care and adoration she was showing were just a way for her to torture him a little bit more - to hurt him as she'd been hurt.

The latter, certainly, had been up to this moment Kagome's entire strategy of interaction, her code of behavior to live by, a twisted and vengeful _bushido_ of her own invention, borne of a need to protect herself and keep him from getting past her walls.

 _Every lie he told, every betrayal...I tallied them all up and I was ready to take my vengeance, to shove a dagger into him and watch the life fade from his eyes, to feel his soul leave this world and take the remainder of my heart's pain and doubt with him..._

 _But it was all for nothing, wasn't it? No matter how I kicked and screamed and fought and tried to scare him away...I was always,_ always _going to let him back in eventually, wasn't I?_

 _Because we're just alike. Both of us impulsive, foolish, brazen. Both of us outsiders, protectors, and hopeless romantics. Both of us eager to play the martyr, too stubborn to tell ourselves the truth - the truth that despite everything, all the trauma and all the bullshit, despite him looking like_ this…

 _Gods above me..._

Still she was scared to speak, scared that if she tried to put into words just what was happening to her at this moment that she would sound manic and insane; and if she did, it would just raise _his_ guard up, make _him_ retreat out of self-preservation.

So all she could do was give him a smile. Not a _full_ smile, no; once again, that would be too much all at once for him. Just a small, close-lipped smile, and she had to trust the plaintive look in her eyes to do the rest.

* * *

It was as if Inuyasha had retreated into those black memories of torture and despair, and come back out into a world that was nowhere near reality.

 _Am I still trapped in my own twisted mind? Is this some sort of oddly specific fantasy that I'm just now confronting myself with?_

But then Kagome looked up from those careful, almost childlike explorations of his hand and the claws at the tips of his fingers, and she purposely met his eyes, _stared_ up at him without any guilt or regret lining her face for only the second time in as many minutes.

And her full lips curled into a soft, almost _reassuring_ smile. A smile he'd never ever thought he'd see again.

 _I don't understand, what is she - why is she suddenly -_

Her blue eyes broke contact to give a hesitant glance at the top of his head, then returned to his, and her smile gave a nervous twitch.

 _My...ears...she wants to -_

Inuyasha felt both of them flick involuntarily, and there was a tight pounding in his chest as he found his ability to move again; his ability to think, to _reason_ , was long since departed.

When he gently withdrew his hand from the cradle she'd made with her two smaller ones, Kagome blinked and glanced down, and then back up at his face. She looked _apologetic._

 _Gods, this can't be real, this is all another dream to torture myself again, isn't it -_

Quickly, and without a word, he closed his hand around her right wrist.

Slowly, oh so slowly, _to give her time to change her mind, to come to her senses and remember how much she hates me,_ he guided her hand upward while simultaneously pitching his head downward to give her an easier reach.

She didn't, in fact, change her mind; she didn't even resist his hold. When he felt her small, thin fingers first brush the back of his left ear, he couldn't help but close his eyes.

 _If she's fucking with me, if she's just trying to get my hopes up and dash them to pieces again, because gods, I know I deserve it...just let me live in delusion for the next few moments,_ he thought dimly.

He felt all five of her fingers ghost across his white fur, and his ear twitched again at the sensation. Then he felt her thumb and pointer finger gently grip the ear itself, and he had to fight back a pleasured groan; he couldn't make a sound right now because that would surely ruin it, would surely snap her back to her senses, wouldn't it?

But then he heard her posture shift beside him, and he opened his eyes questioningly.

Kagome had drawn herself up onto her knees and had inched even closer, so close that her chin was nearly resting on his left shoulder now, and she was looking up at his ears as she continued to run her fingers over and around them, and -

 _And -_

Her eyes were shining with _fascination._ Not fear, not revulsion, just a quiet, mild fascination. It was as if -

 _As if nothing horrible had ever happened. As if she'd met me as my true self and still liked me enough to…_

Inuyasha could stand it no longer. If this wasn't real, if _she_ wasn't real, he had to settle it before he really, truly went mad; he'd already come dangerously close so many times before and he wasn't in the mood to tempt the odds once again.

"Kagome," he whispered haltingly, reaching up to close his hand over the back of hers, to stop her exploratory caresses.

There was such openness in her face now; when she blinked those gorgeous blue eyes again and turned their gaze back to his own, he very nearly forgot what he was going to say, such was the marvel of this sight.

 _This right here,_ he thought, _this is the Kagome I knew. The first time she gave me that smile, flashed me those huge blue eyes, I knew that was it. I was hers. Completely and forever._

Which was why if this was some sort of fever dream, on _either_ of their parts, it was worse torture than any horror Yura's vicious mind could have ever devised.

"Please," he choked out, " _Please_ , if you're fucking with me right now - " Inuyasha didn't want to say it, but to keep whatever delicious spell had overtaken her...well, to keep it going would have surely killed him. " - you can stop. I get the message loud and clear."

Kagome gave a small frown, glanced this way and that, as if she were trying to puzzle through it herself.

 _Here we go,_ he thought, that sinking feeling returning to his stomach. This _is where she checks herself and realizes how she's acting and quickly turns away to save face -_

But the shove backward he was expecting never came. She just opened her mouth, took a breath, seemed ready to speak, thought better of it, closed her mouth again, looked up at him with utter helplessness…

And then Inuyasha felt her left hand, the one that wasn't still gently cupped around his left ear, slide up his bare chest, up the side of his neck, and when he inadvertently stiffened out of sheer fucking _shock_ , she drew her hand back for half an instant before gently, oh so gently, laying her palm against the side of his face.

"I said it last night," she whispered, and there that nervous smile was again to make Inuyasha's breath catch in his throat, "I said you're not Okada. And I was right."

He swallowed thickly, holding his body completely still.

Kagome blinked one more time, and there were suddenly tiny beads of tears in her thick, dark lashes, but her soft smile remained.

"Okada…" she leaned in, so close and so lovely, "...was always _you._ "

Inuyasha couldn't hold himself back a second longer. He threw his right arm around the small span of Kagome's shoulders and yanked her to him almost violently, and he buried his face in her wild black hair and let himself inhale and exhale through quiet, tremulous sobs.

"No," he muttered, his voice cracking and weak as he could do little more physically than shake his head back and forth with his eyes screwed shut, "No, Kagome, don't say that, I don't deserve - I can't let you - "

But then, quick as a flash, Kagome had snaked her arms around his waist and was holding onto _him_ just as tightly, if not more so, and even though Inuyasha's eyes were closed he could feel the smooth skin of her face - _that beautiful, sweet face_ \- pressed against his cheek, nuzzling gently.

The scent of her, the _warmth_ of her...the instant peace and reassurance of her embrace...

Inuyasha was too overwhelmed to do much more than give a powerless grunt and let himself cry, flooding the crown of her hair with streaks from his tears. And when he felt Kagome blink, felt the damp tickle of her lashes against the skin of his cheekbone, he knew she was weeping too.

"Kagome," he whispered, still fighting the elation, the happiness, because _I don't deserve it don't you see I wasn't trying to do this to win you back, I refused to even let myself_ hope _because it was selfish and I'm done being selfish Kagome I'm done being selfish -_

"I've - I've done nothing but hurt you - "

 _You deserve love Kagome love without pain without judgment and exile and threats, you can't stay here by my side you have to get back to your family your_ people _where you truly belong -_

He felt her arms embrace him even tighter as she adjusted her kneeling position. She let out a small whimper, and he felt it vibrate against the skin of his throat; she exhaled another silent sob, and the cool rush of her breath against his collarbone made him screw his eyes shut even tighter as he tried to put his protestations into coherent words.

"I - Kagome, no, no, it can't be me, not ever again, not after everything I've - "

 _Please Kagome let me do this the right way the honorable way let me get you out of here and get you far away from me -_

When Kagome's arms loosened their tight, desperate grip and seemed to slide away, he thought for a moment that maybe he'd gotten through to her.

But no. Her hands were just traveling up from his waist, trailing up his bare chest, sliding up the flushed skin of his shoulders and neck to once again rest on either side of his face. He kept his eyes shut, listening to her slightly quickened breaths as she gingerly made him lower his chin, and when the puffs of cool air were teasing at the skin of his lips he knew they were eye-to-eye and inches apart, _if that_ …

All his pleas for mercy were falling on deaf ears, weren't they?

 _Of course,_ he thought suddenly, _of_ course _they are._ And the notion seemed to muffle all the distress and fear and guilt.

 _She never listened to me when I was her_ commanding officer _, so why in the hell would she start now?_

The warmth crept up from his gut, spread through his chest and arms. It was elation, he knew, and relief despite himself, and, gods, just _love_.

The love that had caught him so unaware in the absolute worst time and place.

The love that had changed him so completely - _no, not changed,_ he reasoned, _just_ awakened _. Like I'd been asleep my whole damn life and here she was, the morning sun, to open my eyes._ _And for me the morning sun was a teenaged human girl dressed in ill-fitting men's armor, learning weapons she'd never touched before, trusting me so entirely to keep a secret because somehow, she looked at me and thought higher of me than I ever had of myself..._

He opened his eyes.

Kagome held his face in her hands, gently brushing the streaks of his tears away with her thumbs while her own tears dripped freely down her chin and neck. Her eyes seemed to be focused on his mouth, and when she slid her front teeth down over her lower lip in a last brief show of hesitation, Inuyasha knew he had to be at his limit.

But then...

"Inu...yasha."

That name, _his_ name, spoken so softly and so sweetly in _that_ voice with _those_ lips, with _those_ eyes staring up into his own, so stunning, threatening to rob him of all the air in his lungs…

"Inuyasha." She whispered it again, with more assurance this time, and one of her hands reached up to brush away a lock of his hair that had stuck to his sweat-sheened temple. The gesture was another familiar one between them, but the clarity, the _acceptance_ in her shining blue eyes as she ran her fingers through the silvery strands threatened to send him into a desperate fit of cracked sobs again.

He felt Kagome's hands tug gingerly at his face, pulling him down the last few inches toward her, and as she closed her eyes she stretched her mouth into a toothy grin that only lasted a fraction of a second, as if she just couldn't help herself. And once again Inuyasha told himself that he didn't deserve this woman, he would _never_ deserve her, but…

But…

Kagome was the daughter of the very man that Inuyasha owed his life to, a man whose entire singular goal had been protecting and caring for both of them, and from almost the second they each were born.

 _Whether this is the work of the gods, whether it's fate and destiny or pure chaotic happenstance…_ Inuyasha knew that he would trade anything, would change anything, change _himself_ , change the fucked-up world around them, die, kill, endure whatever came...and all of it out of gratitude. Gratitude that however it happened, predestination or coincidence, and whether or not it lasted, whether or not their story had a happy ending, they had found each other.

The brush of Kagome's lips over his was just a chaste peck, jarring him out of his swirling thoughts.

He remained motionless as the kiss was over in a matter of seconds and Kagome pulled back slightly.

For a moment neither of them seemed able to speak, but then blue eyes met golden ones once more.

"I - " Kagome whispered, her voice breaking, as she held their gaze without blinking. "That wasn't - "

"You're right," Inuyasha said, and the words came out low and rough-edged, "It wasn't _enough._ "

He curled a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her back to him, crashing his mouth against hers and feeling her gasp against him. As soon as his tongue stroked the seam of her lips she parted them without any hesitation. He _savored_ her, letting the memories of the past intermingle with the sensations of the present and enjoying the taste of her all the more for it.

And she did the same right back to him.

With _enthusiasm._

* * *

"Th-Thank you, milady." Nazuna's smile had returned.

"Are you still fatigued?" Midoriko asked, her lovely pale face drawn in concern, "If you are, you should rest for a few hours. It's been a long week, little dove." Once again she reached out to caress the side of the younger girl's face, and even from Sango's precarious, frozen position, it was possible to see Nazuna's eyes fluttering closed while she leaned into the touch.

"I'm fine," Nazuna said with a soft smile, opening her eyes again. "I can't sleep when you and Lady Kaede are working so hard. Not when we're so close. I should go help her."

There was a lingering stare between the two women before Nazuna gave a small, bright wave and dashed off toward the dark cave entrance.

Sango watched her go, and Midoriko did too.

"Poor girl," Midoriko said without turning her head back around. Her calm voice was tinged with genuine emotion. "Such a hard life for one so young, and still she presses onward with a smile."

Finally, it seemed, she decided Sango was worth her attention again, and she turned. But as she did, any lingering kindness in her expression disappeared as if it had been physically wiped from her face. "There was no need to say such things to her."

As remorseful as she felt, Sango was also defiant to a fault, and immediately she went into defensive mode, despite being clearly and completely at this woman's mercy. "All I did was ask questions," she said spitefully, "Wasn't that what you all _wanted_ me to do? Or did I not ask the ones anyone wanted to hear? I didn't realize asking about those demon lovers you seem to treasure so greatly was taboo around here."

Midoriko kept her face cold and unfazed. "You make a grave mistake, slayer girl, with your assumptions that all of us have the same story to tell."

"Oh, _do_ I?" Sango bit the words out, feeling her muscles aching from her awkward, mid-somersault position, trying to avoid thinking how foolish she must look right now. "If your whole excuse is that the gods made you how you are, that they _made_ you lust after vicious beasts, then surely - "

There was a hum in the pink barrier that held her captive, and Sango's mouth slammed shut; it was pure dumb luck that she didn't bite down on her tongue in the process.

"Either Kaede got a little too poetic with her storytelling, or you misinterpreted her entirely," Midoriko said in a clipped tone. "We are no more inclined to love youkai than any other human woman. Our inborn advantage only makes it safer to do so."

' _Inborn advantage'...she means the healing powers…?_

"You were born into a village of warriors and crusaders, in a time of division and endless conflict. You can't even _fathom_ the idea of letting a youkai live long enough to have a conversation, can you?"

Sango didn't - _couldn't_ \- answer, but even if her mouth wasn't held tightly shut, there was nothing she could really say in response, was there?

"So of course, the idea that we chose this path is offensive to you. But you were wrong to berate and insult Nazuna for making such a choice, because Nazuna is different. Nazuna never _had_ a choice."

 _What?_

Midoriko closed her eyes as if to gather her thoughts before she continued. "Nazuna's powers are not the result of a love-bond. In fact, what happened to her was the farthest thing from love you can possibly imagine."

The shock rattled through Sango's motionless body, and the shame followed, and it felt like she'd been backhanded in the face. She was suddenly _grateful_ that Midoriko's magic had robbed her of her ability to speak right now.

 _That girl was - she was - and I said those horrible things to her and made fun of her pain and oh gods she just stood there and took it and tried so hard to still treat me with kindness -_

"You saw those marks on her arms, right?" Midoriko's icy stare was suffocating, but Sango knew she deserved this and worse. "It's a tell-tale sign of corruption somewhere in the bonding process. Nazuna's powers are the weakest, and they take a physical toll on her every time she uses them. Unlike Kaede and myself, because we _did_ make our choices, and our bonds were freely forged and mutual."

A shadow crossed Midoriko's face then, darkening her already-stern expression for a moment before she resumed her dignified posture as if nothing had happened.

Suddenly Sango's jaw and throat were unrestrained again, and all she could do after a mortified swallow was mumble the obvious. "She was raped."

"Yes. And I'm sure you're pleased to hear that. Fits with your narrative, doesn't it?"

If she could have, Sango would have curled in on herself, would have physically demonstrated just how much she was hating herself right now. "N-No," she said softly, "I'm not pleased to hear it. Not at all."

"She copes with it, and amazingly so. There's a strength in that girl's spirit that we would all be lucky to have. As it is, I owe Nazuna everything, and I'm not ashamed to say so. She saved _me_ more than I ever could save her."

The beautiful miko's choice of words was puzzling to Sango, and a thousand more questions sprang up. _But do I even have the right to ask anymore? Do I even deserve these women's honesty after behaving the way I have?_

As if in response, Sango was lifted a foot or so above the ground, and her bindings loosened and stretched as she was lowered gently into a sitting position atop a flat rock.

"May I sit with you now?" Midoriko asked, so very politely. "It's time I told you everything. Kaede is a powerful miko and a wonderful woman, but she's not as direct as I am. You probably noticed."

* * *

 ** _This chapter's a bit shorter but dw the next one is gonna be another monster if my predictions are accurate (read: sometimes yes sometimes not at all) hahaha_**

 ** _YAY NEW CHARACTERSSSS_**

 ** _I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH ALREADY MY PRECIOUS BBS OMGGGG_**

 ** _Miroku is currently offscreen still running through a forest with his new son and probably feeling pretty tired at this point_**

 ** _Sango is SUFFERING FROM FOOT-IN-MOUTH SYNDROME AGAIN ISN'T SHE, NOW U FUCKED UP, U FUCKED UP, U HAVE FUCKED UP NAO_**

 ** _Kagome: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU - wait why am I doing this lol - NVM I THINK I'M...GOOD?_**

 ** _Inuyasha: I am...skeptical_**

 ** _Kagome: Yeah no I totally get that I'm surprised myself_**

 ** _Inuyasha: Wanna fuk_**

 ** _Kagome: ...mmmmperhaps_**

 ** _SEE Y'ALL SOON, I CAN'T WAIT TO READ YOUR REVIEWS! - meggz0rz_**


	35. Points of No Return

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Thirty-Five**

 **POINTS OF NO RETURN**

* * *

 _ **SONGS!**_

 _ **"Real Life" by Christopher (THE InuKag smut song for realsies "IS THIS WHAT HEAVEN FEELS LIKE, OH OH OHHHH, THIS JUST CAN'T BE REAL LIFE, OH OH OHHHHHHHH" I love it so much omg)**_

 _ **"Malamente" by Rosalia (it's in Spanish but it's for poor Sango and all this loredumping I'm subjecting her to SORRY SANGO HOPE YOU'RE TAKING NOTES CAUSE I SURE HAD TO AND I WROTE THE DAMN THING love youuuu)**_

 _ **"Human" by Rag'n'Bone Man (EYYY MIDORIKO GETS HER FIRST SONG CAUSE NOW IT'S NOT A SPOILER TO JUST MENTION HER NAME HALLELUJAH I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS)**_

* * *

" _Is it time now, my lord?"_

" _Yes, my darling. It's time. Go, and make me proud."_

* * *

The euphoria surrounded them both in an invisible mist, dulling out the sights and sounds of the surrounding world, and it held an eerie resemblance to the aura that appeared whenever Kagome used her healing powers.

Kagome managed to remember that eventually she'd have to break the kiss and come up for air, but, oh gods, the things he was doing, the things he was making her _feel_...she didn't want it to end.

What if they parted, and the illusion dispelled, and it was all revealed to be another one of those torturous dreams of him?

What if she awoke, alone and heartbroken and ostracized in the shogun's palace, hating herself for these fantasies that she always took refuge in?

Finally she could bear the suspense no longer and she pulled away; hell, she practically _tore_ herself away.

And all that fretting was overtaken by joyful reassurance when she realized he'd done the exact same thing at the exact same time - pulled away to check once and for all that this wasn't just some fever dream.

 _Just alike,_ she thought with a quiet giggle. _We're just alike._

They sat there wrapped in each other's arms, panting and flushed and smiling.

"This _is_ real, right?" Inuyasha murmured, leaning down to touch his forehead to hers and closing his eyes. "I could have sworn I made this all up, just to cope with - with everything."

"Me too," Kagome said simply, leaning up to claim his lips once more.

He let her do it, but he pulled back far too quickly, much to her confusion.

"Kagome," he whispered, and once again, his forehead was pressed against hers and he seemed to be in a renewed fight to catch his breath. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I never expected _any_ of...this. I was so _sure_ that you'd never...well...and now it's happening, and I'm scared I won't be able to control myself if we keep this up right now, and I don't want to ask anything more than you want to give, and - "

Kagome's heart was already pounding, but now the thumps in her chest, in her very bloodstream, became _deafening_. She took a good look at his red face, his helpless expression, and without a second thought she knew exactly what she wanted to give him.

 _My adoration,_ she thought but didn't say.

 _What do I want to do?_

 _I want to adore you._ All _of you._

She leaned up and kissed his cheek, then covered his mouth with hers once more, muffling the words into his lips.

"Are you saying you want me to tell you 'no?'"

"Y-Yeah, I mean, no, I - _well_ \- "

She paused to slick the tip of her tongue against the corner of his mouth, felt him shiver, and decided she had missed seeing that reaction, and now she wanted to see _more_.

"Inuyasha," she said softly, and in the back of her mind she was shocked at her own boldness as she slid her legs over his lap.

Inuyasha let out a groan that was surprising in its loudness, so hushed had been their spoken conversation. He screwed his eyes shut in clear embarrassment, biting back further sounds and hunching his posture slightly as Kagome got herself comfortable and curled her arms around his waist to resume the tight embrace.

"Kagome - _please_ \- "

"Inuyasha." She repeated the name again to test his reaction, and sure enough, there was a change in his expression. All that open vulnerability seemed to retreat; the furrows in his handsome features vanished, and the gold eyes went a few shades darker in tone beneath his long eyelashes.

There was one last moment of hesitation on his part, and then, before Kagome could blink, she was flat on her back in the middle of the mattress, and he was on top of her, propping himself up on clearly shaking arms and kissing her again.

And if he'd been holding back before, he certainly wasn't _now_ , because Kagome's mind had gone fuzzy and her entire body seemed to have lost its strength -

He broke the kiss again, and again, it was all too soon. Kagome craned her neck up to chase after him as he pulled away, and when it proved unsuccessful, she gave a frustrated moan high in her throat and let her head flop back onto the bedroll.

"What are you - " She stopped when she realized where his hands were now - gently untying the belt of her oversized yukata.

"Say it again," he muttered, and that sharp, demanding edge was back in his voice.

 _And, oh gods, I like it. I_ like _it._

"I-Inuyasha," she gasped, reaching up to grasp his face in her hands again, running her fingers through that silver-white hair -

He left no room for romantic ceremony when the yukata was untied; he practically _whipped_ both sides open, exposing the whole of her naked body in a single motion. Kagome flinched in surprise, and snapped her legs tightly shut out of instinct.

Now, it seemed, he had purposely slowed himself down; he trailed both hands down her abdomen, his clawed fingers grazing the curve of both her hips down to her upper thighs. Was the reduced speed and urgency a way to give her another out, or was he just trying to savor the moment?

Either way, he was _teasing_ her, and all she could do was shudder and moan.

When Inuyasha's hands reached her knees, they stopped once more, just once more.

"Kagome." He seemed to be choking the words out. "If you don't - if you want me to stop - "

All her verbal insistences seemed to be doing nothing to quell his doubts, so Kagome decided that, once again, she would let her actions do the talking.

With a shy smile, she leaned up on her shoulders and ghosted her fingers against the side of Inuyasha's face. When his eyes fluttered closed and he leaned his head into the touch, she shoved herself upright even further and kissed him again.

As she let herself drink him in again, as she heard him give a pleasured growl and return the kiss despite his professed indecision, Kagome trailed her _other_ hand downward. In between them.

And Inuyasha didn't take any notice of it until the moment she wrapped her hand around his length through his hakama.

This time he didn't break the kiss, but his shuddering, surprised moan into her mouth made Kagome want to giggle again, this time in _triumph_.

She inched her fingers upward, felt for what she knew was the tip, and caressed it with her fingers in a near-tickling motion. In response, he seized her roughly about the shoulders, and just when she was sure she'd gone too far and now would be shoved away, he pleasantly surprised her again by drawing her even closer.

She felt the tip of one of his sharp fangs nip at her bottom lip and gave a pleasured squeal, feeling her eyes roll backward briefly behind her closed eyelids. To pay him back for that she secured a firmer grip around him, feeling him freeze in response.

Fighting back a mischievous smile into his lips, she stroked him up and down.

 _Twice._

Before she could even _blink_ , the kiss had ended and Inuyasha was suddenly out of reach, and all Kagome could hear was the low growl rumbling from his throat as she caught herself on her elbows.

"Wha - "

He knelt there behind her curled-up legs, and before Kagome could say anything else he leaned down and trailed his hot tongue over the smooth, white skin of her knee, and then she _couldn't_ say anything even if she'd wanted to -

 _I thought I'd never feel this again and neither did he, neither did_ he _-_

Both his hands braced on her kneecaps, and when he pulled her legs apart she didn't resist, just tried to control the speed of her heart and the erratic pattern of her gasping breaths.

He leaned down again, even lower this time, and Kagome felt the white-hot spark of sensation before she realized just what he was doing with his tongue.

" _O-Ohhh,_ " she cried, clapping both hands over her mouth to muffle the volume, feeling her spine twist this way and that involuntarily.

And then she heard it. That low, self-satisfied chuckle.

"I missed you _so much_ , you know that?"

Kagome opened misty eyes to find him, poised above her warm center, _smirking_ at her.

It was like nothing had ever gone wrong, ever.

It was like nothing had changed.

 _Nothing except a few of his physical features, anyway._

 _S_ he felt his mouth close over her again, felt his tongue explore and tease and stroke, and she fell back into the moment as if pushed, giving a moan of utter abandonment. It kept her from weeping like a relieved child again, and for that, she supposed, she could be dimly grateful.

The heat of his tongue was all over her, _all over her_ , and all her motions became distant and unintentional, as if she herself were watching it unfold from a place near the room's ceiling and that was the extent to which she could control herself.

She _felt_ herself arch her pelvis upward, closer to him, letting him reach even deeper inside her.

She _felt_ herself fumble with her two hands until they tangled tightly in his hair, _felt_ herself stroke the softness of his pointed white ears again, and when he gave a shuddering grunt and drank her in with even more hungry fervor she _felt_ herself make a sound to match.

 _Gods, am I this close am I_ already _this close we just started and already I'm going to -_

"I-Inuyasha," she whispered. He had already shown how much he liked that name, his _real_ name, spoken from her mouth, and she intended it this time as a gift to spur him on and encourage him.

And so it was. Suddenly the delicious patterns traced by his lips and tongue were no longer slow and delicate and teasing; they were fervent and eager and desperate.

And Kagome realized that saying that name, _that name that name that name,_ had just as much of an erotic effect on _her_ as it did him, because her physical sensitivity, her _awareness_ of every motion he was undertaking, rose to near-pinpoint accuracy.

"Inuyasha," she said again, to test the theory, and then all she could do was gasp and thrash her legs about with no rhyme or reason as he gave a muffled grunt of acknowledgment that sent a hot puff of air over her core.

"I know." His lips formed the words against her and sent her reeling even further. "You're so - "

He cut off there and his tongue pressed down firmly and slid from bottom to top, then top to bottom, and she knew what he was trying to say anyway.

 _So close. Gods,_ so _close. Let yourself go, love, I've got you._

As the white-hot pressure deep in her core increased, she desperately tried to tighten her hands' grip in the hair on the crown of his head, but her fingers felt almost numb at this point, and the numbness was spreading downward toward her elbows with no sign of easing up.

"I - I'm gonna - _Inuyasha_ \- "

His hands were suddenly gripping either side of her waist, holding her in place, and his lips, those lips she'd never expected to feel again, closed over her clitoris with a tantalizing, gentle slowness.

A single roll of his lips, a single sucking motion, and that was it.

Kagome gave out a cry that sounded more like a sob. Every muscle in her body went painfully taut all at once, and then they all seemed to flinch, and the wave of the orgasm rolled over her like a crack of thunder.

"Kagome…"

With her eyes screwed shut and her face drawn in a silent scream, she couldn't see Inuyasha but she could still _feel_ him; his face was still fixed to her tightly and he seemed to be drinking in every twitch, every spasm, as if he'd been starving and she was his only sustenance.

It was the hardest she'd ever come in her life, and he'd gotten her there in less than a minute.

Had it been because of their long separation, the one they'd both assumed would be permanent? Had it been the still-lingering danger of not only their current situation, but also of their uncertain future? Had it been that this was, for certain, the first time she'd been able to make love to him in his true form without deception or pretense?

Or was it something even simpler - that Kagome, always the rebel, was getting off on the idea of tasting that forbidden youkai fruit now that she'd allowed herself to?

 _Probably a bit of all of those_ , Kagome thought, as her violent breaths slowly quieted.

"Thank you for that," he said with a mischievous, loving smile, as he laid his head sideways and pressed his warm cheek to her inner thigh.

 _You're thanking_ me? _I should be thanking_ you _if anything!_

She grinned back at him and reached down to stroke those soft white ears once again, relished his low, pleasured growl at her touch...

"Come here," she whispered, and he paused only to plant a small peck to the junction of her hip before he eagerly followed orders. The cloth of his hakama tickled at her center as he slid himself up over her naked body, and she lightly moaned again just as he was bracing himself over her once more, with one hand on either side of her head.

And then he was kissing her again, and she knew what that initial faint and unfamiliar taste was before it quickly faded; it was _her_ , she was tasting _herself_ on his mouth and it was - it was -

Breaking the kiss with a cheeky smile of her own, she reached up and took one of his hands in her own, guiding it back downward to her core and placing the padded tips of his first two fingers there.

His golden eyes blinked once in surprise, and he matched her smirk.

" _Already_ , huh?"

Kagome nodded, and her elated giggle was cut off and replaced with an excited whimper as those two fingers of his stroked once into the hot wetness of her, and then withdrew again.

"I guess we _do_ have to make up for lost time, right?" He chuckled under his breath, leaning down to nip once at her ear with his pointed teeth before kissing her again.

She threw both arms around his neck and pulled him down even closer, running her tongue over his and relishing the sensation of that long white hair cascading around her arms and shoulders.

"Please don't make me beg you," she panted into the curve of his jawline as he fell flush over her and she could only desperately fumble her hands over the spanse of his bare shoulders, the sweat-sheened hardness of his back, down further and further toward the lining of his hakama…

"Never," he whispered, and the sweetness and simplicity of it was enough to make her want to cry like a wanton child again, but such a poetic and overwhelming moment was short-lived, because he was now bracing his weight on one arm and reaching down toward his pants with the other.

"Let me," she said quickly, trying to wriggle her hands around to reach the ties of the hakama that was such a barrier. He gave a minute shrug of those muscled shoulders and his free hand returned to the side of her head, and his mouth was upon hers again as she cursed her still-numb hands and fumblingly untied the knot.

To make it easier for her, Inuyasha leaned back upright, and she sat up to follow him, sliding the cloth over his hips.

There was such a confident, lascivious look on his face as she did it, and it was maddening to Kagome.

So to get him back, she didn't even pause for a moment when his hakama was off and his erection was revealed; she sprang forward before he could even react. Around the base of his length she wrapped one hand, and around the tip she wrapped her lips, moistening him with her tongue and then sliding him into her mouth with no time to spare.

"Kagome!" His stunned cry sounded almost strangled, and she felt the palms of his hands close over both her naked shoulders with a gentle smack. She smiled to herself with satisfaction, and tasted him just as he'd tasted her.

As she ran her tongue up and down his length, applying pressure with the insides of her mouth, he gave a guttural, feral groan and his hands gripped her even tighter, as if he were trying to push her away but his body wouldn't allow him to.

"Y-You can't - " he protested weakly, his breaths rattling in his throat like a strange sort of purring, "Not when you're that _wet_ and _ready..._ ready for _me_...can't waste the _moment_ \- ah!"

As she encircled the head of his stiff length with a warm, wet kiss, Kagome let herself stare up at him, right into his eyes, and his complete helplessness under her power was so evident and so intoxicating that she _herself_ had to let out an aroused moan.

That one little glance up, that one little _sound_ …

...And his demeanor changed entirely.

Within a fraction of a second, the lost, powerless look was wiped from his handsome features. A darkness overtook those golden eyes. His mouth snapped shut, and his jaw set itself slightly forward.

Kagome knew she'd lost this teasing battle of wills even before Inuyasha took action.

And so, when he lunged for her, gripped her under the shoulders and pulled her up onto his lap like she weighed little more than a feather, parted her center with his fingers to allow his hard cock to slip inside with unfettered ease, buried himself all the way into her with a growl…

Well, she realized she had no reason to complain about losing.

With a keening wail, she arched into him, brushing her bare breasts against the heat of his muscular chest, thinking all the while that she could die right here and now with him inside of her like this and she'd leave the world with no regrets.

"Ohhh," she moaned, unable to do much more than shiver at the flood of delicious sensation.

"Y-You're so…" He attacked her neck with his mouth, licking and nipping and sucking. She could feel his whole body trembling just as hers was. "You're so... _fucking perfect_."

"I-I'm not," she replied, trying to raise and lower herself upon him, but realizing quickly that she couldn't handle that just yet, _not yet, not yet,_ "I'm so _stupid_ , because up until - up until - I was ready to _never do this again with you_ , and if that's not stupid I don't know wh-what is - _ohhh_ …"

Inuyasha had responded to her stuttered denials by gripping her around the buttocks and grinding himself up into her roughly. "Can you feel that?" he growled in a whispered tone.

Kagome, tears of ecstacy springing into her eyes, nodded, her mouth agape.

He did it again, the splay of his fingers across her skin like a direct conduit of heat that she could track perfectly with her mind's eye, and she nearly lost all the strength in her spine and fell over. "Tell me you feel it," he said, and that demanding edge was back in his voice and turning her to jelly.

"I feel it," she breathed, using the last of her strength to drape her arms over his shoulders to try and hold herself upright, placing her lips inches from his.

Inuyasha's eyes of spun gold seemed to be glowing from within as he kissed her softly, and when he leaned back again she could see that in the corners sat tears of his very own.

He smiled. "We fit together _perfectly_."

So many layered meanings in that one statement.

 _Will we ever get through making love again without shedding tears of joy?_ Kagome couldn't say for sure, but right now it seemed impossible.

"Yes," she cried, leaning forward to tenderly press her forehead to his and closing her eyes with a soft smile, "Yes, we do."

They shared yet another loving kiss, a kiss punctuated by mutual groans of pleasure as Inuyasha gently lifted her up by her rear end and lowered her again, then again, and again…

Kagome had to break the kiss to take a gulping breath of air, and she tried her best to keep her grip around Inuyasha's neck as he took the brunt of the hard work for both of them.

"Are you alright?" he panted into her ear.

"Y-Yes," she moaned, " _Gods_ , yes, I'm alright - you?"

"I-I don't know how to put it into words," he whispered, his breath warm against her damp skin, "Not without sounding like - "

"Same here," she said with a nod, " _Ohhh,_ Inuyasha, this is - "

"Again, Kagome," he grunted, his rhythm growing even faster, " _Please._ Say my name again."

"Inuyasha."

With barely a pause, he eased them downward so that she was face-up on the mattress, surrounded by their discarded clothing, and he was perched over her, still thrusting into her with a wondrous and delicious ease.

Kagome took his face in both her hands and arched up to kiss him again. "Inuyasha," she murmured again, "I'm so sorry I ever - "

"Shut up," he whispered sharply.

He ran his hands up from the curves of her hips, over her toned abdomen, up to the swell of her breasts, and onward to stroke the sides of her face in a loving caress of his own. "You - you _never_ have to tell me that, not _ever_. I don't want to _hear_ it, Kagome."

All she could do was nod silently, turning her face to kiss his fingers, and the speed of his thrusts increased and she was starting to lose herself entirely to _forget her own name even_ as their mutual cries grew louder and louder and the motions of their respective hands grew more fervent and intense…

"Inuyasha, I think I'm - _oh, Inuyasha, I'm about to - again -_ "

In response he drove harder and harder into her, and she felt herself contract around him as a shriek emanated from her mouth and she jerked up towards him once, twice, three times, even more than that -

"Kagome." His final word wasn't a cry of abandon like hers; it was just her name, barely above a whisper, as if he was still trying so hard to maintain control where she had lost hers long ago. And then he gave a final thrust with a shuddering moan, screwing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth, and she knew that he'd reached his own peak, just the same.

Shakily, he lowered himself down on top of her, and Kagome found herself remembering a long-destroyed room in a long-destroyed hostel in a long-destroyed mountain village. Their first night together had ended in the exact same way - with his body laying heavily atop hers, both of them struggling for breath and gently linking hands as they savored the moment.

Until Inuyasha gave a brief sniff of the air and raised himself up a few inches, his eyes trailing over the skin of her nude body. Before she could ask what was wrong, his dark brows furrowed and he sat up with a start, retreating from her in a rush of cold air.

"What's wrong? Come back, you're warm and I'm cold." She sent him a curious but reassuring smile.

He was staring at his hands, now removed from her skin, and looking utterly horrified at himself. "I - Kagome, I - I didn't mean to - it was an accident, I wasn't _thinking_ \- "

Kagome raised an eyebrow and looked down at herself questioningly.

 _Oh._

There were a few red scratches trailing up the sides of her stomach, each of them dotted them with beads of dark red. Kagome absently touched one with the pad of her pointer finger, and the blood smeared beneath it.

Inuyasha, meanwhile, was trying to slide away from her on the bed, his whole face curled in shame and anguish. "I can't believe I _forgot_ ," he ranted to himself darkly, staring down at his claws with clear disgust, "I forgot about _these_ and I actually hurt you because I'm a fucking _idiot_ \- "

"Shut up." Now it was _her_ turn to say it.

He paused mid-muttering and stared at her helplessly.

"It didn't hurt," Kagome said sternly. "It didn't hurt, Inuyasha. I didn't even notice. And it was an accident; you said it yourself."

"But - "

"Shut. Up." She held up her hand, the one with the small pinpricks of blood on the fingers, and closed her eyes. The air grew haltingly still and silent once more, and her hand glowed with warm energy, and with a single swiping motion across her torso she made the scratches disappear. "See? It's fine."

When she opened her eyes to look at him again, Inuyasha looked utterly bewildered, and it was like he'd never even seen her use the powers before.

"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Your powers," he murmured.

"Don't look so worried," she said with a minute shrug, flicking away the leftover blood droplets with the back of her hand, "I'm not worried about any side effects from a few _scratches_ , Inuyasha."

"No, it's not that," he said. "The light - the pink light - "

Kagome frowned.

"It was... _brighter._ Almost _blinding._ "

"What?" Now she regretted having closed her eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Here, look." Before she could say one word to stop him, Inuyasha took a single pointed claw and dug it in an arch along his forearm, drawing blood without even wincing. "Heal it." He held out his wrist urgently.

She did, and he was _right._

The pink of her healing powers had always been muted, with almost an undertone of gray. But now?

 _So pink, so bright...it almost hurts my eyes to look at it._

They sat there, silent and naked in his bed, staring at each other with confused eyes and wary expressions.

Something, just now, had changed.

But was it for better...or worse?

* * *

"You speak of the wolf youkai attacking Taijiya," Midoriko said softly, sitting there across from Sango with her hands folded neatly. "I'm sure that was a terrible thing for you to witness."

At this, Sango would normally have responded with biting sarcasm, bitterly lashing out at such a downplayed statement about _the single most traumatic moment in her life_.

But in her humbled state, Sango could only give a brief nod in agreement, feeling the tears budding in her eyes.

Midoriko's voice had become gentle again. "I will not defend their brutality," she said, "just as I will not defend the humans when they do the very same thing. But I will tell you that all is not as it seems to an outside witness like yourself."

 _What does that even mean?_ Sango swallowed; her throat was tight and dry.

"I'm sure you already know how deep and bitter the enmity runs between your people and those of the wolf tribes."

"They've been a threat to our village from the start," Sango whispered, again feeling that spark of righteous anger. "They were always front-and-center at every battle in the great youkai wars, and always the biggest threat to our warriors."

"The mutual hatred runs deep, and has done so from the first," Midoriko agreed, still speaking very softly. "But let me ask you something.

"If a human village were sending secretive garrisons of assassins to wipe out entire tribes of _your_ people, there while you slept; if they showed no mercy or hesitation at beheading parents in front of children, children in front of parents, if they did all this without being directly provoked...would you find some small justice in doing the same years later?"

"What are you _talking_ about?" Sango blurted, shaking her head. "Are you saying _my village_ \- "

"The wolf tribes have always dwelled in caves. Entire clans, all existing together as a family unit. Until about four decades ago, most of those clans lived just miles from where Taijiya stood."

"Until - "

"Until a young man named Suzuki became village leader, yes."

 _My father. Oh gods, my father._ She felt the chill course through her veins, but Sango remained silent. Scared to speak, scared to ask, scared to _know…_

Midoriko sat motionless, aiming that dignified look of sympathy straight into Sango's eyes. "You flinched back when I said his name," she said softly. "That tells me all I need to know. Your father, was he?"

Sango gave a brief wordless nod, averting her gaze from the miko's.

Midoriko sighed. "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this," she said, "I fear you won't want to hear it and that all my efforts will be for naught after all. But will you give me the courtesy of listening for just a bit longer, and then you are free to make your own decision? I will do my best to speak delicately."

Another nod, even though all Sango wanted was to drive her fingers into her ears and try to run again, to _get away from here because I don't want to hear this I don't want to hear it -_

"Suzuki was...well, the shogun's followers would praise him as a true believer."

 _I don't want to know I don't want to know I don't want to know -_

"The youkai wars raged long and hard for years, getting nowhere, until Suzuki took power, broke Taijiya's famed isolationist tradition, and sent his best warriors into the fray on the shogun's behalf. No one knows for sure what made him do so; Taijiya's anti-youkai stance was of course under no question, even then, but to that point your village had always stayed out of any direct conflict and kept to themselves and their own territory.

"The Taijiya warriors brought something new to the fight - ancient weapons, forged from youkai bone and essence, enchanted with long-lost dark magic so that they could kill with a single _touch_." There was a sageness in Midoriko's tone there, as if she was well aware that Sango already knew this part. "The Inu no Taisho, ruler and king of all youkai-kind, knew what a threat this weaponry posed, and so he and his armies retreated back, back into the territory they still occupy today, far from any human settlements.

"And that might have been the state of things until this very day, if not for Suzuki."

 _No no no I don't want to hear this please -_

A warm, smooth hand closed over Sango's own, and she looked up to see Midoriko staring her openly in the face, her perfectly arched brows furrowed with kind concern.

"I cannot speak delicately or with kindness about your father's actions, dear girl, but I can _objectively_ understand his point of view. A true believer for the shogun's cause would see youkai as mindless creatures and reject any attempts to treat them with any more dignity and care than, say, a farmer would for a fox in his chicken coop. He would not be content with mere stagnation of hostilities; he would want to exterminate the _entire den._

"And so, just as it seemed the lifetimes upon lifetimes of endless war would finally know peace, Suzuki reclaimed his warriors from the frontlines, cut ties with the shogunate, and took on a personal mission of his own. Taijiya would become isolationist once more, and would never again aid another man's wars, but only once Suzuki established that the whole of Taijiya territory was free of all youkai, once and for all."

"And that's where the wolves came in," Sango whispered, her mouth as dry as desert sand.

Midoriko gave her hand a gentle squeeze, as if to try and reassure her.

 _As if I could possibly be reassured right now._

"The wolves were always outliers of the main youkai forces, just as the Taijiya warriors were for the shogun's. From the time before we knew to record time itself, the wolf clans valued their independence and sustained themselves, while also showing up whenever their king called them forth to battle. And so when the Inu no Taisho ordered the retreat, the wolf clans remained in their ancestral homes, thinking the truce would hold and that their families would be safe. They were wrong on both counts."

Sango closed her eyes under lashes damp with unshed tears.

 _How many times have I heard these stories,_ she thought, _heard these 'tales of Taijiya heroism' and lapped them up like a cat with a dish of milk? Always, they took place in dark foreboding caves, and always,_ always, _they ended with triumph after bloody struggles against all odds._

 _But they never mentioned that the caves housed families..._ children _._

 _They never mentioned that the hostilities were unprovoked and defying all the rules of warlike engagement._

 _They only described gnashing teeth and deadly claws. Feral monsters with no desire but the kill._

Scary bedtime stories for budding child warriors. Stories to strengthen their resolve against an unseen enemy. Stories to make them work _that much harder_ in the next day's training, to make them _that much more determined_ to keep the youkai threat, a threat none of the children had ever seen face-to-face, away from their lonely village.

" _Sango, my child," her father said with a fond smile on his face. "You're nearly a full-grown woman now, and you have made your old father proud in so many immeasurable ways. You are the most capable of your entire generation, the strongest warrior, the smartest strategist."_

 _Sango, barely fourteen and still growing into her front teeth at that point, blushed and could think of nothing to say in the wake of such unusual praise from a man she knew to be so stern and cold most of the time._

" _One day, when I am gone, you will be the one to lead Taijiya, to protect our village against intrusion not only from the beasts who would slaughter us, but also from the soft-bellied humans who would see us under shogunate rule and exploit our people for their own gain."_

 _She felt a bit overwhelmed with the idea, but forced any uncertainty off her face as she nodded her acknowledgment; her father would have immediately seen the doubt in her expression and derided it - to her face - as youthful weakness, and all the confidence he was showing in her at this moment was so rarely given that she clung desperately to the promise of more._

" _There are only four of our sacred weapons left intact," Suzuki continued, "And until the time they are called for again, which I fear may be soon, it is our family's sacred duty - well, one of_ many _sacred duties - to keep them safe and hidden from the outside world. There are some who would take the news of these four weapons' continued survival as an excuse to try to seize their power for nefarious means, or worse yet, to destroy them in some sort of amoral crusade."_

 _Suzuki held out his open palm and dropped a tiny stonelike object into Sango's hand. "This was my own weapon," he said, as Sango delicately cradled it in her fingers and tried not to squeal with eager excitement when she realized what she was holding. "I bound my blood to it when I wasn't much older than you are now, and it served me well in glorious battle. Of all the weapons we still have, it is this one that has killed the greatest number of monsters._

 _But now, I am growing old, and my spine is less apt to twist and turn as it once was, and so I will take the katana instead, now that your uncle Yano has no more use for it, gods rest his soul."_

" _Gods rest his soul," Sango replied automatically, trying with her young mind to pay attention as best she could and not get ahead of herself._

 _The_ boomerang. _Her father was giving her the_ boomerang. _It had always been her favorite. An aggressive weapon, capable of distraction as well as precise lethality._

 _And now it was hers._

 _She knew what came next, and so when her father held out his other hand to her, a hand that held a simple handmade dagger, Sango knew exactly what to do._

 _Careful not to flinch under her father's watching eye, she used the dagger's point to slice a deep gash into her right palm - the hand that would wield this weapon - and coated the tiny ornament entirely with a coat of her fresh, warm blood._

" _Now from your heart."_

 _This was the part of the ritual that had always frightened her to hear about; her father had never been very generous with details anyway, but about this he had never elaborated further than "blood from the heart."_

 _Hesitantly, casting a quick glance at Suzuki to ascertain whether or not she was doing it correctly, Sango took the dagger point in her unbloodied hand and hovered it over where her heart pounded beneath her small, budding breast._

 _Determined to keep her courage, at least outwardly, she let out a sharp exhale and gave herself a shallow poke, and when she withdrew the knife, a small stream of red trickled forth, splattering the front of her simple linen kimono._

Did I do it right, _she wondered frantically, taken aback at the amount of blood pooling at the folds of her obi,_ did I stab too shallowly? Or too deeply? What if I did it wrong and I nicked the wrong spot and I'm going to die from blood loss here and now, and my father will just have to settle for the disappointment that his only child and heir was unfit to be a warrior after all?

 _To distract herself, she raised her wounded hand and held the tiny weapon under the stream of her heart's blood, covering with a second coat of bright, brilliant crimson._

" _Good. Now close your eyes, Sango."_

 _She did, clenching the miniaturized boomerang tightly in her dripping fist._

" _Now picture it. The triumph of battle. The swiftness and accuracy of the kill. Picture the fear in every beast's eye when it encounters you on the field of glory. Picture yourself extinguishing the light in each of those eyes as easily as you take a breath."_

 _She pictured it. And it was_ sublime.

 _Within her closed hand, the tiny bone boomerang began to expand in size, until it was too large for her hand, too large for her entire arm by itself, too large almost for the tent in which they stood._

 _At the end of it all, the boomerang was draped precariously over her shoulder, towering over her adolescent height, smeared with blood just as she herself now was._

" _By the time those wounds heal," her father said, offering her bandages to press against both her stinging, self-inflicted cuts, "That weapon will be an extension of your own arm. Make me proud."_

And that day, she'd been so determined to. She'd sworn that as long as she drew breath, she would never allow a youkai to do the same in her presence. Her family legacy demanded it. Her role as a Taijiya slayer demanded it.

But…

 _But..._

Kaede had placed a small seed of doubt in Sango's mind with her tale of being exiled and stricken from the records, stricken from mere _mention_. There was enough anecdotal familiarity in the old woman's tale to give her pause, however brief, and however easily dismissed from her stubborn mind.

And now, this woman Midoriko, who knew Sango's father's name without even asking, and who related the same tales of glorious victory that Sango had been raised on so eagerly but from the opposite, darker perspective, was enlarging that seed of doubt as if it were a sacred bone boomerang treated with blood of both hand and heart.

Midoriko squeezed her hand once more; she seemed to have noticed the slump in Sango's posture and acted accordingly. "I have more to tell you, but trust me when I say the hardest part is over, sweet girl. You will need time to adjust and to think, but indulge me just a few moments longer, and then you are free to make your decision. Whatever you choose, I will relate to Kaede and Nazuna, and we will not think any less of you if your choice is to set out on your own once more."

It seemed that once again, all Sango could do was nod like an idiot, as tears streaked down her windblown cheeks.

"When the Inu no Taisho discovered what Taijiya had done, he of course sent troops to fight back, to match blood for blood and wipe out the aggressors just as had been done to his subjects. For what did peaceful retreat achieve for youkai-kind except _this?_ Slaughter of non-combatants in their sleep as their families watched?

"The war resumed as if truce had never been on the table, and it was even fiercer and more violent than before, on both sides. Taijiya remained mostly unscathed in their isolation, but thousands of lives were lost elsewhere.

"And then, nearly two decades ago, the Inu no Taisho announced the cessation of warmaking on the part of all youkai, returning to his original aim of peaceful retreat far from human reach. And it happened, but not before the Inu no Taisho himself was murdered. His only son, Sesshomaru, took over as ruler. Sesshomaru is a strange one, I must say; he refuses to be crowned king while he lives in what he calls 'the ruins of his father's kingdom,' or so it's been related to me secondhand. But at the same time he never once moved against the humans, never once took offensive action, up until just a short while ago. And even then, he only gave orders against the shogunate army itself, and never once against civilians."

"But - "

"The youkai attacks you have witnessed - yes, even the one on your own village - are not the work of the true youkai leadership, but a pretender to the throne. The youkai that we ally ourselves with - we miko - are the ones who have done their best to keep the peace. That would be Prince Sesshomaru and those loyal to him."

Sango suddenly remembered a name that Kaede had spoken briefly. "Who is Naraku?"

The calm demeanor on Midoriko's face slipped for just an instant, just a split second, and if Sango hadn't been staring the older woman right in the face or been nearly as perceptive, she would have missed it.

"A sickness," the miko said, matter-of-factly. "A plague upon both youkai and humankind. There's no doubt in my mind that he's the one to blame for Taijiya, for Ryusei, for the half-dozen or so other human villages. Anywhere that you see catastrophe and anguish, take it to heart that _he_ had a hand in it. It's all that he wants, all that he _craves._ "

This was the most unsettled Midoriko had ever been, or at least the most unsettled that Sango had ever witnessed. Once again Sango wanted to ask more questions, and once again she held back.

"So you see," Midoriko went on, and suddenly she was as dignified and serene as she'd ever acted, "your war is not with youkai as a whole. The humans and Prince Sesshomaru share a common enemy, and it is our role as mikos, as representatives of the space between the species, to try to show you that. Until you eliminate _him_ , the one who sows the seeds of chaos and genocide, there will be no peace until all in this world are dead. Or worse."

 _Or worse? What does that mean?_ But once again, Sango was hesitant to ask the question, and when she finally summoned the courage to do so in the silence that followed Midoriko's final words, they were interrupted quite suddenly.

"Milady! Milady!" It was Nazuna, running at a full clip as she was wont to do more than most. "Please, if you can, come quickly!"

"Which one?" Midoriko rose so quickly from her seat that Sango shrank back in surprise.

"Th-The girl, the female," Nazuna said, "Kaede says it's time, but we have to keep her calm and my powers only go so far before I get - "

"It's alright, little dove," Midoriko said reassuringly to the frantic girl, then turned to Sango. "Come with me, girl of Taijiya. I know I told you much, too much to believe right away, but if this means what I think it does, then there will soon be someone else awake to back up our story."

Sango realized she was following along only once they reached the mouth of the cave, and, deciding it was too late to go back now, she proceeded into the darkness behind the other two women.

* * *

 _So tired...I'm so tired…_

 _Gotta keep going._

 _Gotta keep going for the kid's sake._

 _It's cold._

 _I'm hungry._

 _Gotta keep going._

 _Kid's asleep. Good for him._

 _Sleep sounds great right now._

 _Can't sleep._

 _Can't sleep._

 _Gotta keep going._

 _My legs are numb. Damn snow._

 _At least I tried, right?_

 _Gotta keep going._

 _Gotta keep going._

 _Can't keep going._

 _Can't._

 _Gotta sleep._

 _Find a shelter._

 _No shelter. Gotta sleep._

 _Kid, stop crying and go to sleep. It'll be fine. I'll be with you in a second, I promise._

 _I promise._

* * *

There was no way to find the answers they sought, not from their isolation here in this palace room where they were virtually imprisoned for their own safety, and they both knew that.

So they tried to push the questions from their mind and let themselves find solace in each other's post-lovemaking embrace.

They lay there beneath a thin blanket, and they were wrapped together so tightly that it was as if they both feared that it _had_ all been a dream after all, and that giving way to sleep or distance from each other would bring the cold rush of reality over them again.

To distract them both, Inuyasha tried to make small talk, but there was still so much to be said to her that said small talk quickly devolved into more deep, heartfelt confessions.

"When I left you - _that night_ ," he whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to the top of Kagome's head where it was nestled in the crook of his arm, "I told myself that was it, that was the end of you and me. And when I started to hear your voice in my head, when I couldn't spend a waking moment without seeing your face...I knew, I _knew_ that it was my punishment. Because I loved you so much, and because that love ended up nearly destroying you. Destroying both of us."

Kagome said nothing for a moment, and Inuyasha wondered for a moment if he'd gone too far with the callbacks to the world outside that hated them both, hated their union most of all.

But then she raised her arms to loop them around his neck, pulling herself even tighter against the hard muscles of his chest. "I thought _you_ were _my_ punishment," she said, scared to speak above a whisper for fear of dissolving back into tears, "I heard _your_ voice, saw _your_ face, and when the shogun told me I was cursed...I thought for sure that was why.

"But then when I tried to _end_ the curse," she went on, and there was no stopping the tears now as she buried her face in his shoulder, "When I drove that knife into your back and watched you fall...at that point I _knew_. I lied to myself even then, but I _knew._ "

"Knew what?" He was nervous about the answer. Nervous, but hopeful, and trying not to show too much of both sides.

Kagome swallowed and raised herself up slightly in his arms so that they were face-to-face.

"I knew," she murmured thickly, "that there's no peace for me...without _you_."

All he could do was pull her even closer and kiss her again. There were no words that would make an adequate response, especially not coming from him. _I never_ was _much of a poet, after all._

Before they could even taste their fill of each other again, however, Inuyasha's bedroom door burst open with a loud crack.

Both Inuyasha and Kagome scrambled into defensive stances, their mutual nudity a secondary concern if it was Yura coming back for revenge.

But it wasn't Yura standing there.

Kagome immediately gave a small squeak of embarrassment and dove for the blanket to cover them both as best as possible.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha said, furrowing his brow in confusion and backing down.

The elder youkai prince was actually _disheveled_ for once, his stately robes in disarray and his hair wild and somewhat tangled where it fell over the front of his shoulders.

As amusing as it was, it wasn't nearly as relevant - or, in fact, _disconcerting_ \- to Inuyasha as the expression on his older brother's _face._

For someone so markedly stoic, so cold and deadpan, it was possibly the most openly disturbed Sesshomaru had ever looked. He looked almost _traumatized_ , but that was a silly notion, wasn't it?

"What's wrong?" Inuyasha demanded.

"He's dead," Sesshomaru said, slamming the door shut behind him and starting to pace the room, " _Kouga_ is dead."

* * *

 _ **UH OHHHHH**_

 _ **UH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**_

 _ **I wonder what happened to Sesshomaru I hope we find out next chapter WINK WINK**_

 _ **InuKag like LET'S GET IT ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN (this started out way shorter so give a big thanks to fantastiqueparfait for making me not chicken out and actually, you know, GO THERE)**_

 _ **Sango like wow what think what do idk (idk either Sango sorry for doing this to you but here's hoping u get through it, big ups)**_

 _ **Miroku just deciding to die in the snow like that what a JERK amirite**_

 _ **Let me know what y'all think, and thanks for your patience! I had a birthday this month and so did my momma so it was a busy time hahaha. Drop me a review if you can; I love hearing the theories and the thoughts! LOVE Y'ALLLLLLLL - meggz0rz**_


	36. Awakenings

**Oblivion**

 **Chapter Thirty-Six**

 **AWAKENINGS**

* * *

 _ **SONGS!**_

 _ **"Hollow Crown" by Ellie Goulding ("You know you're fighting in a losing battle, making a noose out of your hollow crown, I'll hold a match up to your paper castle, I'll watch it all burn down, down down...")**_

 _ **"Wolf Totem" by The Hu (Title is the big hint hehehehehehe)**_

 _ **"Counterfeit Language" by Gatsbys American Dream (This one's for our boi Sess. "A hand-me-down false hope is hard to swallow, when the truth has been realized, they'll destroy you")**_

* * *

" _Kouga is dead."_

The words rang in Inuyasha's skull, echoing over and over like the thick metallic knell of a gong. _Like a funeral bell._

When he found his voice after several long seconds, all he could do was give a harsh, stubborn laugh under his breath and stammer out the words disbelievingly. "Wh-What? No, no, how do you know - there's no _way -_ "

"Never mind how I know," Sesshomaru snapped, running a hand through his unkempt hair with a bitter expression. "He's dead. Both him and his little female, the one Naraku wanted so badly."

"No," Inuyasha muttered, shaking his head. "No, you're wrong, you _have_ to be wrong. I just saw him, just a few days ago, I saw _both of them_ , and they were _fine_ \- "

"It was Jakotsu," Sesshomaru continued. "They killed him, from what I understand, but Naraku seems satisfied, so they must have died fighting."

* * *

Kagome wrapped herself tightly in the blanket to preserve her own modesty and sat up on the mattress, purposely keeping as silent as possible.

She had no clue who they were talking about, aside from Naraku, of course. She'd only been here for a matter of days, but she knew enough by now to understand that this news was more-or-less earth-shattering, even without knowing the details yet.

 _Who is -_ was _\- Kouga?_

"Inuyasha." Sesshomaru spoke sternly, insistently.

The weight in the mattress shifted slightly, and Kagome turned to watch as Inuyasha curled in upon himself, his face shielded by that mane of white hair. He raised a hand up at Sesshomaru almost pleadingly.

"I hear you," he muttered, "I _hear_ you. Just give me a minute, for _fuck's sake.._."

There was a tremor overtaking the curve of his bare shoulders, the arch of his hunched-over back.

Instinctively, Kagome reached out her hand to drape it over him, but something held her back - a sense that this conversation between brothers was best held without her interference in any way. She withdrew her hand and could only stare, helpless and dumb.

"You're certain," Inuyasha mumbled finally from between the hands clasped over his mouth.

"Yes."

Inuyasha hesitated for a long moment, then let his head bob in the slightest nod of acknowledgment, then raised his chin to stare directly at his elder brother. His eyes held such clear pain, but the rest of his face was a solemn mask as he spoke in a hoarse voice.

"Alright. So if Naraku ordered the assassination of the _leader of the wolf tribes,_ if he's _scattered_ _our few remaining allies to the winds_ , that means we can strike back. Hard."

"...Wolf tribes?" Kagome couldn't help the question; it _burst_ out of her despite her best efforts. And Inuyasha's golden eyes cut toward her then, and the look between them was pained, regretful…

And it all hit her at once.

Suddenly Kagome was back in a snowy forest, back in what seemed like a past lifetime, frantically trying to defend herself against a female youkai with bright red hair, fighting for her life, for _Okada's_ life - _no not Okada he isn't Okada remember -_

There had been a male wolf there too.

Long black hair and eyes the color of chips of ice.

He'd gone for Okada - _not Okada not Okada not Okada -_ and launched him into a tree trunk with a single punch to the face.

And Kagome had rushed to help, to defend the man she loved, and -

 _...Okada shoved his hand out and pushed her backward…_

" _No, get back!"_

And the wolf youkai and Okada - _Inuyasha_ \- had stared each other down wordlessly, neither of them making a move, just glaring right into each other's eyes.

 _Almost with familiarity._

And then Kagome had been run through from behind with her own sword by the female wolf.

And all had faded to black for a time, and then when Kagome's eyes had opened again so unexpectedly, it had only been Inuyasha there, holding her bloodied body and crying with relief.

She'd never even thought to ask where the wolf youkai had gone; there had been other things on her mind at the time, of course, but _now_ , looking back…?

 _It was right in front of me then, but I didn't see it, didn't question it at all. I guess I assumed he killed them both, but, gods above us, he and I were both outmatched even_ before _I took that stab wound and got put out of commision._

But there had been no youkai corpses there in the snowbound forest clearing.

And so, the two wolves must have fled of their own accord.

Without finishing the job. Without killing the man in shogunate armor just as they'd almost killed his companion.

 _They knew each other._

 _They absolutely knew each other._

Kagome had certainly experienced her fair share of moments in the last few days where she felt like an absolute blind idiot, and this was no different.

 _They were the same wolves at Taijiya, the ones standing with Inuyasha when I first saw him the_ real _him, the ones who killed Sango's father in such cold blood and he stood there and WATCHED IT HAPPEN -_

Kagome couldn't help it; she _shrieked_ under her breath, so sharp was her gasp. She clapped both hands over her face and shoved herself away from Inuyasha with all the might her legs could muster, putting as much distance between them as possible on the small bedroll.

Through her splayed fingers, she could see the knowing, agonized look that Inuyasha was fixing upon her. He opened his mouth, as if trying to say something to her, but then he seemed to rethink it and turned back to his older brother, back to the dire conversation at hand.

* * *

Kagome's horrified outburst, of course, didn't seem to faze Sesshomaru in the least; he didn't even spare her a single glance, just kept that cold, even stare fixated on Inuyasha.

Inuyasha kept his eyes to the front, unwilling to look at Kagome again, but that was because if he held the gaze of those terrified blue eyes any longer, he'd completely lose control. The guilt, the anger, the _grief_ \- all of it was sucking all the air from his lungs and crushing his shoulders, his spine, his arms and legs -

"Tell me." Inuyasha choked out the words, staring his brother down. "Tell me we're striking back." He knew his tone was pathetic, _begging_ even, but he didn't care.

 _Let something good come from this. From_ any _of it. Please. PLEASE._

Sesshomaru just looked at him, icy and unfeeling as always.

"H-He sent _Yura_ in here," Inuyasha continued his plea, "Just a few minutes ago. He sent her here to scope us both out. What is _that_ if not defying your authority, brother? He's boldly taking over this castle and our people and everything we care about, _right in front of us._ "

Still, Sesshomaru didn't answer.

"SAY SOMETHING!" Inuyasha let his composure erode away then, and he pounded both fists into the bedroll, fixing his brother with a fierce, desperate glare.

Naturally, the pompous bastard stretched the tense silence as long as possible before speaking. "What did Yura say?"

 _Once again, that ridiculous_ calm _in his voice. Doesn't he get it, doesn't he understand, doesn't he SEE -_

"She made it damn clear she wasn't worried about _you,_ " Inuyasha snarled. "Said you were too _busy_ to bother. I guess the crazy bitch had a point; you've been _busy as hell_ letting our allies - our _friends_ \- get slaughtered - "

Sesshomaru's lips thinned and his eyes grew colder. "Take care how you're speaking."

Inuyasha just kept on, his ears flattened against the crown of his head, his sharp teeth bared.

" _Busy as hell_ just sitting your ass on that stupid _throne_ you're so in love with while the kingdom you're supposed to be in charge of just _falls to fucking pieces, doesn't it_ \- "

"That's _enough_."

Again he rejected the warning, rejected it as he wished he could reject every stupid, misguided order his brother had ever thrown his way.

"You could have done something at _any_ point; you could have done _something_ , and you stood back and _watched_ and now _Kouga is dead and for WHAT?_ "

Inuyasha felt the jolt in the air as Sesshomaru flashed out of sight. He knew what was coming, and so he barely even flinched when once again, he was caught by the throat and at the mercy of his infuriated older sibling.

And as Sesshomaru lifted him up in that tried-and-true threatening manner, there was nothing he could think to do except give a laugh that was as scornful as it was strangled.

"Go ahead," Inuyasha taunted, grabbing around Sesshomaru's wrist with both hands and digging his claws in as hard as possible. It took more pressure than it would on a human, but rage and determination were on his side, and a victorious rush overtook him as he felt his nails puncture skin, felt the warm trickles of fresh blood envelop each of his fingertips. "Go ahead. You won't do it. You won't do a _damn_ thing, and we both know it. You do nothing but threaten and intimidate and then when it's time to _act_ you back down like the fucking _coward you are -_ "

The rest of his furious rant was cut off as Sesshomaru threw him overhand into the far wall, where he crashed through paper and wood with a deafening thud.

He dimly heard Kagome cry out in anguish and shock, but he didn't - _wouldn't_ \- look.

 _That's it,_ Inuyasha said, springing back upright and crouching on all fours, _Fight me._

 _I don't care anymore just fight me fight me FIGHT ME -_

 _You've treated me like a liability my entire life, treated me like I was weak, and maybe I am weak but maybe I'm BETTER than you Sesshomaru, maybe that pure youkai blood of yours isn't worth SHIT_ , _maybe it's_ you _who's the weak one, WEAK, SPINELESS -_

 _FIGHT ME so I can PROVE MY WORTH so I can KILL YOU and TAKE WHAT'S MINE FROM YOUR USELESS CORPSE -_

Sesshomaru stood there silently, glaring viciously from beneath his tightly knit brows.

From the looks of things, Inuyasha was about to get exactly what he wanted.

So he leapt forward with another ear-splitting snarl.

* * *

The reawakened trauma was sending Kagome into near paralysis. In her mind she heard a cacophony of feral, animalistic screams, a horrific buzz of agony and fear. There was a strange tingling in her stomach, almost like a twitch, right there in the dead center of her abdomen, where a scar _should_ have been and yet _wasn't_. She closed her eyes and could smell the pungent stench of blood, could _taste_ it in the back of her throat, even. And then she realized she was shivering from the cold of a frozen forest in the middle of the night, from bloodstained snowbanks all around her.

Opening her eyes again to try to anchor herself to reality, she watched Inuyasha's desperate anger towards his brother amp up in its ferocity. She couldn't quite hear through the hum in her skull to understand the words he was saying anymore, but the tone of his voice was growing louder and louder, angrier and angrier.

And still she couldn't move.

He was _this_ upset at losing someone whom Kagome had only ever known as an enemy, someone who had attacked them in the dead of night and nearly killed her and Inuyasha both…

Or had all that been a ruse as well?

 _If I hadn't been there, what would have happened?_

Kagome realized now that she had given in, let herself fall into the delirium of being with Okada - with _Inuyasha_ \- once more, and against all odds. Not once had she spared a thought for the world outside, still splintering at the seams and ready to provide the cold stab of reality at the first possible moment.

And reality's blade was cold indeed. Cold and razor-sharp.

There was still so much Inuyasha had to answer for - no, so much they _both_ had to answer for. To their respective people. To their enemies. To each other.

When Inuyasha lunged for Sesshomaru the first time and was caught by the throat, Kagome still couldn't move her frozen limbs. But she managed a small cry of alarm as the elder brother tossed the younger brother across the room and through the papered wall.

She would have kept still, possibly forever, lost in her own inner turmoil and unable to break free of it, but then she saw the look in Inuyasha's eyes as he got up and shook himself.

It was the same look he'd had when he'd been ready to tear Yura to pieces.

There were _seconds_ to act. _Seconds._

Kagome snapped her gaze from one brother to the next, and when Inuyasha lunged again, and Sesshomaru reared a hand back ready to deliver another powerful blow…

The blanket she was wrapped in caught her around the ankles, tripping her up, and so she kicked it off; exposing herself in front of Sesshomaru was solidly the _least_ of her problems -

Inuyasha would try to stop himself once he realized she was in the way.

She knew that much.

 _Unless he's too far gone in his rage to even notice me._

Sesshomaru was a different story. He might cleave Kagome in two with an errant strike and barely raise an eyebrow.

So she just had to hope that the element of surprise would throw him off guard. Throw _both_ of them off guard.

"STOP!"

She jumped forward and threw her arms up between both of them, desperate and foolish and waiting for the pain to come, _from one side or both who knows who knows_ -

And there was a flash of pink light and a crack like the boom of thunder, and she felt the pulses of power exit through the palms of her hands, and the next thing she knew both Inuyasha and Sesshomaru had been flung backward in opposite directions, landing in heaps on the bedroom floor.

 _What?_

Kagome stood there trembling, staring down at her hands, and for a stark moment of horror, she wondered if she'd killed them both.

But then they both moved to sit up, and on either side of her was a pair of bright golden eyes just as wide and taken-aback as her own.

 _I've never - what is -_

" _The light - the pink light...it was..._ brighter. _Almost_ blinding." She heard the echo of Inuyasha's bewildered voice in her mind.

 _Stronger,_ she thought. It was the only word that fit at this point.

She hadn't been sure at first, hadn't had much chance to test the theory, but now it was crystal clear, wasn't it?

Her powers were stronger _._

"Kagome?"

She flinched and looked up, looked at Inuyasha. He was sitting there on the floor, his dark brows drawn together in concern and trepidation.

"I - I didn't mean to - "

"Are you okay?"

 _You're asking_ me _that?_

She managed a nod in the affirmative, still frozen to the spot.

"I think you can lower your hands now, miko."

At Sesshomaru's low voice, she whirled her head around to see the elder prince already standing and brushing himself off, though the gaze he fixed her with was distrustful indeed.

Slowly, Kagome brought her hands down to her sides.

"Well done, brother," Sesshomaru said, turning his attention to Inuyasha, who immediately seemed to remember the tension from moments before and gave a standoffish growl in response, "It seems all she needed to grow her power exponentially was a bit of your...all-too-eager help. It's good to see you don't hold a grudge against a woman who tried to murder you in this very room just days ago."

Inuyasha opened his mouth, no doubt to give a sharp retort, but then he sent Kagome - or rather, Kagome's _hands_ \- a wary look, and fell silent.

 _Please don't do that please don't be afraid of me I can't bear it -_

She watched him gather himself to his feet and give his head a shake as he visibly regained his bearings. He didn't look up at her, just walked behind her and out of sight, and she remained completely still, closing her eyes and trying to steady her breathing once more.

 _He's afraid of me now, now that these powers aren't just to_ heal _but to_ attack _, he's afraid of me,_ truly _afraid…_

Even when Kagome had driven a dagger into the small of his back, he had never seemed afraid of her. Sad, yes, heartbroken, yes, but there had also been an aura of grim acceptance in that smile of his. He'd been willing to die for her, if it was what she wanted. He'd even seemed _glad to see her again_ in some small way.

And now, her augmented powers had displayed their true, awe-inspiring scope (however inadvertently), _and he was refusing to look her in the eye._

A single glance over at Sesshomaru snapped her brain back into focus, and she realized once more that she was completely naked and uncovered, in front of someone she barely knew enough to address in conversation.

But still, Kagome stood there, hands firmly at her sides, and bit her trembling lower lip. If she made a move for something to cover herself with, it might send both brothers - not just Sesshomaru, no, but _both_ of them - into defensive mode out of pure instinct. And since she clearly wasn't able to harness enough control over her powers to keep from _accidentally attacking_ , who was to say another tense situation wouldn't turn deadly on either side?

But then, after just a few seconds, warmth closed around her shoulders. And she was covered once more in that oversized white yukata, with the hands of the one who gave it to her curling around her waist from behind, helping her to tie it shut.

And all Kagome could do was give a soft hum of relieved gratitude and chastise herself for doubting Inuyasha's faith in her once again.

When the knots were tied and Inuyasha had stepped back again, Kagome resolved herself that the brutal truth of Kouga, of the wolf tribes, had to be pushed - no, _shoved_ , _shoved_ with all the strength she could manage - down into the back of her mind. The reveal of Inuyasha's connection, his _complicity_ , was still painful to stomach, yes, and there remained answers she desperately needed.

But right now, Kagome felt as if she were in the throes of actual battle, actual _combat_ , and she needed to keep her wits about her as much as possible. It was clear that no matter what she thought about the wolf youkai, their elimination at Naraku's hands meant that the tense atmosphere in this hidden castle was about to escalate to very immediate danger.

 _Luckily,_ she thought, craning her neck back once to look at Inuyasha, who was by now tying the strings of his hakama to cover his own nudity, _we - he and I - we've seen our fair share of danger in all sorts of ways, and we're still standing. Against all odds, we're still fighting._

"So," she cleared her throat and tried to keep her voice calm and steady, "what are we going to do now?"

Sesshomaru gave his wounded hand a flippant shake, scattering a few drops of blood to the floor. "You're both to report to the throne room in an hour. I'm summoning all the courtiers to an evening feast."

"You're _what?_ " Inuyasha cried out incredulously.

"I've said it before - our one advantage is that Naraku believes he holds all the advantages. We need to carry on as normal, even in the face of these disturbing circumstances."

Kagome felt Inuyasha approach behind her, and he seemed to be fighting to control his temper once again as he addressed Sesshomaru.

"'Disturbing...circumstances,' are they? You know, brother, I used to give you the benefit of the doubt. I would tell myself, no, he's not a heartless, selfish bastard deep down; he really does give half a _fuck_ about anyone other than himself and his _legacy_. And now you want us to dress up all fancy and eat a nice dinner while any youkai tribe outside of these palace walls faces genocide and death. You want us to act calm and 'carry on as normal' while behind our backs, Naraku keeps eliminating our true loyalists -"

Sesshomaru raised a hand to cut him off. "I want all of them," he said, "to see _her._ " He nodded in Kagome's direction. "I want them to see that we have a miko on our side now."

"Wait a second," Kagome said, and now it was her turn to feel the burning beginnings of anger. "I never said I was defecting to _your_ side. I've heard and seen a lot of things in the past few days and weeks, and from where I'm standing, _both_ sides have blood on their hands, and _both_ sides are summarily full of shit."

"We've all said it - Naraku seemed to _want_ us reunited," Inuyasha added, putting a protective hand over Kagome's shoulder. "What makes you think he'll be at all surprised that it _happened?_ He already sent Yura in here to spy on us, and no doubt she's told him how well Kagome and I seemed to be 'getting along famously,' as she put it. He's _counting_ on this, Sesshomaru. How can you not see that?"

"You're right." Sesshomaru took a single step back and crossed his arms thoughtfully. "He is. And I want to see what his next move is. I want to know why he wanted a powerful miko so close at hand, especially one who would never willingly aid him. When Naraku brought your human girl here, he knew she had her mind on revenge and might have killed you on sight; in fact, she _tried_ to. But he didn't intervene then, and so, I'm of the mind that Naraku was willing to let chance decide where it came to the two of you.

"One scenario ends with the younger son of the Inu no Taisho dead and gone; the other, where the star-crossed lovers reunite and thus the miko's powers multiply in strength, holds perhaps even greater potential for Naraku to exploit. But the reason, the _why_ , is unclear. And we have to know what we're up against before we can formulate a strategy to fight it."

"So I'm the bait," Kagome said, nodding in bitter acknowledgment, biting the inside of her cheek for her own private emphasis.

"Over my dead body you are!" Inuyasha cried. The hand on her shoulder squeezed tighter. "Sesshomaru, if Naraku wants her so badly, then let me _get her out of here_. I can get her to safety with her friends, out of the reach of both my grandfather _and_ Naraku."

"Kouga tried to do the very same thing for his female companion," Sesshomaru snapped, "And even with all that speed he was so renowned for, he couldn't escape Naraku, could he? Don't be foolish, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha flinched back as if he'd been slapped.

Automatically, Kagome raised her hand up, gently gripping the fingers that were draped over her shoulder. A meager attempt at reassurance, she knew, but when Inuyasha spoke again, he hadn't raised his voice, so perhaps it had worked just a little.

"If Naraku tries to hurt her," he said, and Kagome looked up to see his chin set in fierce determination, "I'll kill him. In front of the whole damned court if I have to."

"If only he could _be_ killed so easily," Sesshomaru replied drolly. "You forget, I fought in the old wars; I've seen Naraku _decapitated_ mid-battle, and he just pulled himself back together and went on as if nothing had happened. If our father was unable to finish him off, what makes you think _you_ could?"

Inuyasha just glared at his brother.

A thought had just popped into Kagome's mind, and she turned it over once or twice before she spoke up. "His followers," she said. "Are they completely loyal to him?"

"Worse than that," Inuyasha said, and she felt the growl in his chest where it pressed against the expanse of her back, "They're _possessed_ by him."

"Possessed?"

"Inuyasha oversimplifies, as usual," Sesshomaru butted in. "They call themselves a 'family,' linked to Naraku and to each other through their minds. They will stop at nothing to do his bidding. They can't be reasoned with, can't be turned."

Kagome let out a regretful sigh, and that might have been the end of it, but then another nagging thought presented itself.

"If...if they're linked through their _minds_ ," she puzzled aloud, "then it wouldn't be too outlandish to think that...well, that they're linked by their _life forces_ too, right?"

"They aren't." Sesshomaru's reply was swift and dismissive.

But behind her, Inuyasha seemed to have frozen where he stood. "Wait...that actually makes a ton of sense. Gods, why didn't we think of that before? It's so obvious!"

" _You_ might not have thought of it," Sesshomaru sniffed, "but rest assured, that possibility offered itself to me long ago, and - "

Inuyasha now seemed to be ignoring his brother, because he turned Kagome around in his arms and stared down at her, his golden eyes wide with excitement. "He's the parasite," he exclaimed, "and the followers - they're all hosts. He takes from them as needed - power, strength, health - and uses the hive-mind to keep them ready for harvesting."

"If you're finished," Sesshomaru said, "I'm afraid there's one large problem in your theory, Inuyasha. When Naraku fought alongside Father and I in the wars all those years ago, he had no followers in sight. And _still_ he could regenerate."

"Y-Yeah, but," Inuyasha craned his neck to look back at Sesshomaru, keeping his hands on Kagome's upper arms, "no followers in _sight_ doesn't mean _no followers at all._ You've said it yourself; we don't even know exactly how many Naraku has under thrall, because they might be hiding in plain sight - "

" - which shows why this line of strategy is such a fool's errand," the elder prince snapped. "Or would you like to go around killing our subjects indiscriminately on the off-chance that they _are_ Naraku's 'hosts,' as you call them?"

"I think we can start with the ones we know of," Inuyasha retorted, "And then, if there are more, they'll start to show themselves, and we can deal with that as it comes. Suikotsu died in Ryusei, and you said Kouga sent that bastard Jakotsu to hell, so that leaves Bankotsu, Renkotsu, Kyokotsu, Ginkotsu - "

" - Mukotsu," Kagome added, shuddering with distaste as she remembered that hideous visage, that poisonous mist...

" - and Yura." Now it was Inuyasha's turn to look revolted. "We know where to start, don't we?"

"It won't work," Sesshomaru said, "and you'll be killed."

"What's the harm in at least _trying?_ We've been sitting here like idiots and letting Naraku walk all over us!" Inuyasha's face had grown angry and frustrated again. "If we're going to end up dead at the end of this, I'd rather go out _fighting_."

 _Me too_ , Kagome thought. But it seemed there were so many _sides_ to this fight, and she still wasn't sure where she belonged, to whom she owed her loyalty.

"Human girl." The words snapped Kagome out of her emotional reverie, and she looked up.

"She has a name," Inuyasha snapped, "It's Kagome."

Sesshomaru pointedly ignored this and kept that icy gaze pointed in her direction. "Are you willing to show yourself to the court this evening, so that we might learn more about our common enemy? Or will you leave, as Inuyasha suggests, and live a life in exile, rejected by your human leaders, hated and feared by youkai...at least until Naraku inevitably catches up to you and uses you for his own purposes anyway?"

She was backed into a corner now, and she knew it, but still she hesitated to reply. Inuyasha looked down at her helplessly, his brow furrowed in clear frustration that he couldn't just _fix_ all of it.

Finally she answered.

"I...I don't have anything to wear."

There was a quirk at the edge of Sesshomaru's mouth, a hint of a satisfied smile on that stony face. "I'll have Jaken take care of it, and I'll expect you both in the throne room in an hour's time. Inuyasha, remember to be on your best behavior; remember, it won't be just _your_ life you're gambling with."

And he was gone before Inuyasha could growl again in response.

* * *

The cave was dark, nearly pitch black, and Sango struggled not to collide with the walls as she focused on the sounds of the footsteps ahead of her.

And then, just as her eyes were beginning to get accustomed to the darkness, they reached the tunnel's main chamber, and she had to blink and squint and adjust once more.

No torches or lanterns burned, but the room glowed nonetheless, a brilliant shade of rosy pink. Kaede knelt on the floor, eyes closed, her hands held aloft and empty. In front of her were two white shrouds of roughspun cloth, neatly arranged parallel to each other and merely a foot or so part. And beneath the shrouds were two bodies.

One of the bodies was completely covered from head to toe in the white cloth, so that all Sango could make out was a vague shape - broad shoulders, long, muscular legs, considerable height. It seemed to be a man, a young adult.

The other shroud was pulled back, drawn low around the body's bare shoulders to reveal a pale, motionless face. Beneath the intense bandages that encircled her head, that covered the spanse of her nose and cheekbones, the girl didn't look a day over seventeen years old. But Sango saw the points of the ears, the wild tangle of hair the color of autumn leaves, and she knew that the number of years this girl had lived was far greater than seventeen.

 _Youkai. Wolf youkai._

As Midoriko and Nazuna quickly arranged themselves on the cave floor, encircling the girl's battered body, Sango stood violently still, almost shocked at her own non-response. She heard no traumatized screams in her head; her heart wasn't pounding in fear. Had the mikos' words already gotten through to her so easily?

 _Or perhaps that doubt was_ always _there, even from the first time I wielded my weapon as a Taijiya slayer. Perhaps I knew, somewhere, deep down, that nothing was as simple as my father made it seem._

"Are we ready to start, then?" Midoriko said softly, giving a lingering look to both Kaede and Nazuna in turn.

"We have no choice," Kaede said. "This little one has a strong fighting spirit. We can't risk her trying to awaken of her own accord and undoing all our hard work."

Midoriko nodded in agreement. "Girl of Taijiya."

Sango jumped, startled.

"Make sure you stand back. A return to the mortal realm is not lightly or painlessly achieved."

 _A return to the mortal realm?_ Then this girl was -

"We're going to take care of her. But first, we have to wake her up." Midoriko raised her hands up, palms splayed out, and the other two mikos did the same.

"Begin."

The pink glow, the only illumination in the desolate cave, hummed and intensified.

And the corpse on the floor - _yes, a corpse, that youkai girl is DEAD_ \- began to twitch and shudder in response.

* * *

"This is bullshit." Inuyasha bit the words out through clenched teeth, crossing the room to the washtub and splashing the now-chilled water over his face and neck. "Once again, we're stuck here with our hands bound, and once again, what Sesshomaru says goes. I still think you and I should just run for it, while no one is expecting - "

He felt a hand grip his left bicep and turned to see Kagome standing there, her eyes upon the floor at her feet. She seemed to be in the throes of an internal debate; she was trying to decide if she should say whatever was on the tip of her tongue.

"What is it?" He forcibly made his tone of voice much gentler and moved to cover her hand with his own. "If you want to go, we can. Just say the word and I'll - "

"It's...not that," she said softly. She pulled her hand away, away from his touch, and suddenly there was alarm, a renewed fear brewing in the pit of his stomach.

"I don't know what's going to happen," she whispered, looking almost regretful that circumstances had come to this, "but I have to know. Before I can know what to do, I have to know everything."

Inuyasha could only stand there, rigid, and wait for her to continue.

"So you told...the wolves...that we were going to Taijiya?"

There it was. The fear and alarm reigned supreme now, and all he could do was stammer out excuses. _As usual._

"I told my _brother_ that we were going to Taijiya. But I don't think he got the message in time. The wolf tribes must have been sent beforehand; that's the only thing that explains how quick they got there after we did."

"But you don't know that," she said, and though her voice was still gentle, her eyes were the cold blue of ice now. "You're just guessing."

Inuyasha sighed. "I don't know that. I'm just guessing."

"Why did you let them - why did you let them do that to all those people? T-To _Sango?_ " The horrified look on her face was unbearable, and he fought the instinct to just take her in his arms and stammer a thousand words of apology until she forgot why she was asking.

He remained still and useless. She deserved the complete truth, and she deserved to know why. "The Taijiya people are demonslayers."

"How does that give you the _right_ to - "

"Kagome," he cut her off, "Taijiya used to be the shogun's favorite little assassin squad. Until they weren't. But they were the only ones with the weapons that could turn youkai flesh to dust with a single well-aimed strike."

Kagome's blue eyes widened, the tears brimming in her dark lashes. "S-Sango's boomerang."

"Yeah, that was one of them. One of however many they've had stashed away for generations. And when I asked the wolf youkai what they were doing there, how they'd gotten to Taijiya so fast, they said they were sent to steal the weapons and bring them back here for safekeeping."

"B-But Sango's father." Kagome's protests were growing louder in volume with each successive word. "I saw what they did, they - they killed him in cold blood! And you were standing right there _watching_ , you - you _let it happen -_ "

"You're right. I did. It was justice. All those wolf youkai - every single one you saw that night - they lost their parents to the Taijiya slayers. Hell, some of them are the last of their entire _clans_."

"No," she muttered, clapping her hands over her face and mumbling into them as her body racked with sobs, "No, no, no."

 _Here I am once again, taking what this poor girl thought she knew and dashing it to pieces right before her eyes._ Again he felt that urge, that call, to pull her close and comfort her. As if that would have brought comfort at all.

And so he just sat there uselessly and let Kagome weep softly. "I'm so sorry," was all he could find the wherewithal to say.

* * *

It was a matter of seconds before the whimpers began, and a matter of a few seconds more before the whimpers turned into hoarse moans.

The female youkai's head lashed back and forth. Her arms and legs shuddered with seemingly-involuntary twitches. It was as if the mikos had harnessed the destructive power of a bolt of lightning and were coursing its energy through the girl's body.

"Very good," Midoriko called out over the girl's keening, "Keep her mind steady. Don't let up."

"I can hear her screaming in my head," Nazuna cried, and Sango could tell from her vantage point that the youngest miko's straight posture was faltering. "How can we make her stop screaming?"

"We can't," Kaede said sternly, "Don't let her distract you. Keep your focus, Nazuna. It'll all be over soon."

"She's not ready to come back," Nazuna protested. "She's _in my head_ and she's _clawing and scratching me -_ "

"Nazuna!" Midoriko barked out a warning, and Nazuna's spine straightened a bit.

"She doesn't understand," Kaede said, furrowing her brow but keeping her one eye firmly shut, "She thinks she's in the afterlife and she doesn't want to leave. Gods, if we'd only had a bit more _time_ to acclimate her - "

"We have the time that we were given," Midoriko interrupted, "Debating the whys and hows is useless. Keep pushing. Keep pushing."

Nazuna was visibly shaking with the effort now; it seemed that her lesser powers were reaching their limit.

The female wolf youkai's body began to thrash about even more violently. Over and over again, her arms jerked upward and crashed heavily to the hard stone floor, and each time the claw-tipped hands swiped dangerously close to one of the meditating women.

The white shroud was kicked away then, revealing the girl's nude body, and Sango had to fight back a horrified gasp at the state of it. If the face had been brutalized, it was _nothing_ compared to what tortures the rest of her had undergone. Deep, slashing cuts over every inch of her skin. The blackness of bruising against the crimson stripes.

"Her muscles are fully responding now," Midoriko called out, and Sango briefly wondered if the miko was narrating for _her_ benefit. "That's a good sign; her body will sustain her once the soul is fully recalled."

But that air of hopefulness turned to stark terror when, suddenly, the wolf girl's spine contorted and shot upwards in an unnatural arch. The scream was agonizing, as if she'd been stabbed in the back with something white-hot. Still, the eyes above that mess of bandages didn't open.

The next attack of violent spasms came then, and Nazuna caught an elbow to the face, recoiling backward and breaking the circle. The pink hum faltered for a few seconds, and the youkai girl's screams became less pained and more _ferocious_ as she continued to twist her spine into horrific shapes this way and that, the head with its wild red hair thrashing about and smashing itself back down to the ground over and over again.

Nazuna scrambled to rejoin the circle, but was clearly shaken and having trouble regaining her composure, especially as the dangerous claws continued to swipe the air right in front of her face.

"We're losing her," Kaede said, her face pinched with clear concern.

"Don't let go," Midoriko said, even as she dodged a violent kick, "If we let go now, we might not ever get her back - "

Before she even realized it, Sango was running forward, and with all her strength she leaped onto the youkai girl's body and pinned her down. The girl's reaction was a snarl, baring sharp white teeth. She struggled beneath Sango's hold, but her eyes remained firmly shut.

"Hold her tightly, young one," Midoriko said with an emphatic nod, "Hold her so we can regain control."

It was easier said than done, but Sango supposed of all the people here, she'd be the one with the best chance of physically restraining an out-of-control youkai.

"Talk to her," Midoriko went on, "Let her hear your voice."

"Wh-What do I say?" Sango asked through gritted teeth as the girl beneath her screamed again.

"Tell her to wake up. Tell her it will be alright once she wakes up. Tell her it's a bad dream."

Sango awkwardly mumbled the words, taking the chance to reposition herself so that her hand was fixed to the girl's sternum, holding her down with all the strength she could muster. "Wake up," she whispered, and then, realizing that she was being drowned out by all the screaming, she raised her voice. "You have to wake up now," she yelled towards the girl's pointed ear, "It's time to wake up, and you'll be alright, but wake up!"

The brutality of the youkai girl's motions waned a bit, much to Sango's surprise, so she kept it up. Beneath the palm of her hand, she could feel the girl's heart, but it wasn't beating; no, it was _vibrating_ , as if the whole organ was spinning in place, turning itself about in her chest cavity, even as the skin over it remained ice-cold and corpse-like to the touch.

"It'll be alright," Sango went on, a little more gently this time, "I promise."

And within the tumultuous confines of her own mind, she recalled when a voice out of the darkness had said similar words to her.

" _Shhh, I've got you. It's going to be okay, I promise."_

Spurred on by the reemergence of this memory, Sango used the hand that wasn't pinning the youkai girl's body to the ground to softly stroke the side of the bandaged face. "Shhh," she said, "I've got you."

The tremors lessened a bit further, and then, shockingly, the girl _spoke in response._ Her face was still drawn into a feral grimace, but the voice was surprisingly meek, if not a bit hoarse from disuse. Still, the eyes remained closed.

"I...I can't go back."

Sango cast a shocked look at the three mikos behind her, who all nodded to encourage her onward. "S-Sure you can," she replied, "We're all waiting for you."

She was definitely winging it at this point, but hey, results were results, right?

"No...I can't go back because...he's gone. He's finally gone."

Sango frowned, pausing in her confusion to glance at the still-hidden second body, partially hidden from sight by Kaede's kneeling form. "Was he...your mate?"

She weakly shook her head. "No...I never _chose_ him, never _wanted_ …" She trailed off and seemed to lose the strength to hold her neck up as her skull cracked to the floor once again.

Sango was entirely unsure how to continue, and she crouched there wordlessly for several seconds until she heard Midoriko's voice behind her.

"Tell her she'll never be a slave again."

Sango glanced back over her shoulder. "You mean she was a - "

" _Tell her_." Midoriko's voice was stern and insistent, but the expression on her beautiful face was soft and sympathetic.

Sango leaned in and whispered the words. "You don't have to worry. You'll never be a slave again. We'll help you. You just have to wake up."

The girl gave a soft whimper; she was faltering but still very afraid. "He killed us," she murmured, "Didn't he?"

"He didn't kill _you_ ," Sango said, wondering where these words were coming from but trusting in her own instincts, "You're not dead, you're alive, and that's why you have to wake up. Now _wake up._ "

There wasn't enough time to react. The wolf girl gave a terrified shriek and sat upright; Sango felt herself flying backward several feet, just missing Nazuna to collide with the far wall.

The girl continued to scream, and it was bloodcurdling, as she pawed frantically at her own arms and torso, taking in the ravaged state of her body before scrambling backwards using her own two hands for balance.

Her eyes were wide open. And they were a brilliant shade of green.

* * *

 _How can I ever face Sango once she knows the truth about me, once she realizes that not only did I fall in love with a youkai, I then RETURNED TO HIS SIDE and ALLOWED MYSELF FOR ONE BRIEF MOMENT TO THINK THAT MAYBE I COULD - THAT WE COULD - oh gods -_

The hands Kagome held over her own face were a good defense mechanism, she realized, as her sobs went from violent to subdued. They kept her from having to look up at him and meet his eyes, and she could finally speak again.

"You were…" she mumbled nearly unintelligibly, "...you were _standing right there._ Like...like…"

"Like this," Inuyasha finished for her, and she knew he'd understood what she meant. "Yes. It was an accident."

"An _accident?_ "

"My transformation wore off. It was my pure dumb luck that it didn't happen an hour earlier or later."

"Oh gods," she cried, curling in upon herself, taking the implication and running rampant with it, "Pure dumb _luck?_ You could have changed then and I would have seen and then I would never - you and I would never have - pure dumb _luck?_ Pure dumb luck for _WHOM, EXACTLY -_ "

"Kagome."

She kept her hands up, shook her head violently. "No."

"Kagome." His voice was even gentler this time. " _Please._ Look at me."

She knew what he wanted her to _see._ "...I-I _can't -_ "

"Kagome. Look at me."

Finally, she let her hands slide down from her tear-streaked face, and she found that he'd moved closer so they were just about face-to-face.

His eyes were shining with unshed tears of his own, and he was staring at her with so much pity and so much clear adoration that she wanted to hide again _because this is exactly what happens when I look at him, I see that moment over and over again in my head -_

The very first time she'd witnessed his true form.

The memory she'd referenced over and over to convince herself that he'd never held any real feelings for her, that he would have killed her without hesitation, that that had been his intentions all along.

 _But it wasn't true, none of it, and I knew that even as I said it a thousand times over,_ she thought, her quivering sobs returning as she held his gaze.

"You s-saved me," she whimpered softly, and where she should have felt vindicated she instead felt dizzy and ill. The truth behind those golden eyes of his had once again come through, to dash her rationalizations to splinters and leave her raw and vulnerable. "They w-would have killed me because I wounded one of theirs. And you s-sent them the other way and you s-saved me."

Inuyasha didn't nod in agreement or show any self-satisfaction at her admission; he just slowly reached up to brush her hair away where it was matted by tears to her cheek.

Before she even realized it herself, she'd thrown her arms around his neck and mashed her lips against his, and she felt his hands trail up her back and anchor her in place as they kissed with what could only be called _ferocity_.

 _I love him,_ Kagome thought again for the thousandth time, but she still couldn't quite bring herself to say those dangerous words aloud again; there was a small foreboding in the back of her mind that if she said aloud those words that she'd thrown around so openly, when he was Okada and she was a trusting, naive child, there would be no more rational decision-making from that point forward. And in these times, in this situation, she _had_ to keep at least a fraction of her rationality. It was imperative.

 _I love him so much. So much._

 _And may the gods have mercy on us both._

Jaken came in at some point to give her a kimono to wear to the court assembly, but, wrapped in each other's arms and clinging to each other for dear life, they barely even noticed.

* * *

It was a journey of a mere minute back to his own quarters, and it was very fortuitous that it was, because Sesshomaru was in no mood to interact with any passersby. There was much to think about, and frankly, much to fear. And Sesshomaru was not a man used to fear.

Jaken was there at Sesshomaru's bedroom door, keeping it sealed shut just as he'd been ordered to. When the imp caught sight of his master approaching, he gave a nervous chirp, but seemed to regain his composure quickly.

"M-Milord, that was fast; you've only been gone for a half hour at the most!"

"My brother's human girl needs a kimono for the feast tonight. I'm sure you'll find something amongst my father's stored belongings; he kept the Lady Izayoi clothed in splendor during their time here."

"Y-You mean to say that Prince Inuyasha is bringing that - that _human woman_ to court tonight?"

"Open the door, Jaken. And tell the guards - no one in or out of here without my express order. On pain of death." _And keep your own mouth shut,_ added the reproachful look Sesshomaru had long-since perfected.

Jaken nodded in simpering agreement and unsealed the door, and Sesshomaru ducked inside and slammed it shut again.

He paused only for a moment to take a breath. He was having to gather his own composure, and it irked him; it seemed distasteful that he should display such flaws of character even in a situation like this, and yet there was no changing his immediate turmoil as he stared across his bedroom. Slowly, very slowly he walked forward toward his bed, reaching out his hand to touch a bare shoulder and shake gently.

Kagura gave a soft, gentle moan and opened her eyes sleepily, and Sesshomaru knew that were he a lesser being, an impulsive mess of fury and passion as Inuyasha was, the sight of her like this would have broken him and rendered him utterly useless.

 _Because it isn't her._

* * *

 _Sesshomaru sat in his room, slouching over his writing table with maps and papers at his hands and elbows. This was the only place in his entire godsforsaken castle where he could allow himself to display his ever-growing fatigue without dozens of eyes watching, combing over him for weakness or indecision._

 _Still no word of the wolves._

 _He'd of course tasked Naraku with locating Kouga and his female companion, but that had been mere play-acting once again - another ploy to keep the treacherous bastard smug and overconfident, to keep him believing he was three steps ahead and not the other way around._

 _And so, secretly, he'd sent orders to a small garrison of his own, made up of soldiers that had served his father and still held that loyalty close at heart. He'd sent them towards the northern caves, the closest ones from here, and if no trace was discovered, the garrison should then proceed to the deserted caves in the east, near the ruins of Taijiya._

 _But it had been nearly a day without any word one way or another, and so for the thousandth time in recent memory, Sesshomaru was once again stuck here empty-handed with hands tied behind his back._

 _He resented having to preserve his safety - no, not only his, but those he must protect at all costs - through court intrigue and secrecy. What would the great Inu no Taisho have said, seeing his eldest son, his_ heir _, crippled thusly?_

But my father would never have brought Naraku back from exile in the first place, _Sesshomaru thought bitterly._ Not even out of desperation.

 _He'd always fancied himself above the petty impulses and emotional actions that were so embodied by Inuyasha. The boy was predictable, easy to manipulate, and it had always been irksome._

 _And then Sesshomaru had brought the worst of all monstrous tyrants right into the fold, foolishly confident that Naraku could be managed until the shogun's acts of genocide were put to an end. A mad animal was bound to bite, but if Sesshomaru kept a tight hold on the chains that leashed it, it could be a useful and brutal tool of warfare, to defeat the shogun's empirical ambitions once and for all._

 _Running a hand through his hair with the quietest of exasperated groans, Sesshomaru turned his attention to yet another missive, sent from the military action currently happening near the western mountains, and began to read._

 _There was a knock at the door, and it slid open a crack to reveal Jaken's ever-present visage. "Your Highness, milord, there's - "_

" _I said I didn't want to be disturbed, Jaken."_

" _Y-Yes, milord." Jaken turned then and sent a smug smile over his shoulder. "You see? Now turn around and go back where you came from. His Highness is too busy for the likes of_ you."

 _Sesshomaru picked up the missive to start again, but as the door slid shut and locked once more, the voice he heard from the hallway behind Jaken gave him pause._

" _Very well, I'll come back later. Please tell him I was here."_

Kagura.

 _In an instant, Sesshomaru was at the door, yanking it open again and inadvertently knocking his impish manservant aside._

 _There she stood, wearing a yukata he'd never seen before (and, from what he could tell, very little otherwise). At the sight of him, she straightened up and smiled, looking brighter and less burdened than he could bring to recent memory._

" _Sorry to just show up like this," she said with a deep, formal bow, "I just wanted to see you, Your Highness. I_ had _to."_

 _They were affectionate words, and under any other circumstances he'd have been glad to hear them._

 _But affection so openly performed, in a hallway where_ anyone _could see at any given moment, was dangerous. So very dangerous._

 _With a stern glance to Jaken, Sesshomaru stepped forward and took her by the wrist, pulling her through the open door and slamming it shut behind them. "You're usually a_ bit _more careful," he said evenly, folding her into his embrace nonetheless. "That was reckless of you."_

 _He felt her stiffen in his arms for just a moment, but then her arms reached up to loop around his neck and she leaned up to kiss him passionately._

" _I'm sorry, milord," she said breathlessly when he pulled back after letting himself taste her for a long moment, "I really am. I'm just growing tired of having to pretend and pretend for everyone. I want to be able to tell Naraku, and the whole world, that I belong to you and you alone."_

 _It was the same sentiment that had been plaguing Sesshomaru just before she'd appeared, and so perhaps that was why he accepted it without further questions and let her pull him towards his bed._

" _Don't worry," he murmured between further kisses, untying the flimsy knots of her revealing yukata and gently easing her down onto the mattress, "Someday. Someday soon, I promise."_

 _Her smile returned, and her crimson eyes seemed misty as she caressed the sides of his face. Sesshomaru was just leaning down to claim her lips again when she spoke again and he halted in midair._

" _I met your brother's miko. Pretty enough, for a human. Did everything get sorted between them?"_

" _What?"_

 _Kagura took a lock of his white hair in one of her hands and absently wound it around her fingers. "That was your plan all along, wasn't it?" she asked softly, eyes lowered beneath her thick, dark eyelashes. "You wanted to bring them back together. For Inuyasha's sake."_

 _Remembering himself, Sesshomaru leaned down and began to press tender kisses to her neck and collarbone. "I wanted her where I could keep an eye on her," he said, "Nothing more."_

 _At that she gave a small giggle under her breath, raising both hands again to slip them inside the lining of his clothing and tracing his bare skin underneath with her pointed nails. "Lie all you want," she said, "Above all else, you did it out of love for your brother, didn't you?"_

 _The tone of the statement was so familiar and welcome to Sesshomaru that for a moment he wanted to curse himself for being so guarded. For letting himself be_ suspicious _, even for the briefest instant._

 _And then he saw the first tear pour from her eye and down her cheek._

 _He sat back then, staring down at her. "Kagura?"_

" _Hmm?" Kagura seemed confused. She withdrew one hand from inside his robes and touched her own cheek, and it seemed the second she felt the moisture her demeanor sobered, changed into a faraway, sad expression. "Oh, gods, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just overwhelmed. I'm so scared of what's coming. I'm scared of Naraku and of this war and everything else about it, and I'm also scared that…"_

 _She trailed off, lips pursed in a quivering pout, and averted her eyes._

 _Sesshomaru gently took her by the chin and turned her back to look up at him. "Tell me."_

 _She seemed nervous to say it, as if she were afraid he'd be offended. Yet another very unusual display from her._

" _...I'm scared," she finally said after he'd held her there in silence for several moments, "that when your brother finds out about_ me, _about where I come from, about_ us _...I'm scared he won't understand."_

" _I wouldn't worry about that," Sesshomaru said gently. If Inuyasha tried to show condemnation of a relationship that had to be kept secret, then his little brother was a hypocrite as well as a fool._

 _He bent to kiss her again, and she gave a small purr of pleasure, but when he drew back her face was still contorted in nervous worry, and it seemed she couldn't help but speak her thoughts once more._

" _Are you certain, milord? Are you_ certain _there's nothing to fear regarding your brother? He always_ did _have Kouga more on his side than yours, but even without him, and with a fully-powered miko at his side, Inuyasha has no need to answer to_ anyone _anymore, least of all_ you…"

 _Careful to keep his neutral expression from betraying the renewed chill of mistrust that was coursing down his spine, Sesshomaru remained motionless, staring down into her beautiful face. He searched her eyes, those deep crimson eyes that always contained that feisty spark, and to his silent horror he found no difference. No sign._

 _He'd always assumed that if Naraku somehow got his claws back into Kagura, pulled her back into that twisted web of mind rape and subjugation, that he, Sesshomaru, would be able to tell just by looking at her._

 _But she looked just the same as the last time he'd seen her._

" _I do not fear this miko," he said, reaching down to lace his fingers with hers to distract from the obvious bait he was laying out. "She's weak; her powers are limited. Perhaps it's because of my brother's mixed heritage. Naraku may fear this human girl who can heal wounds, but I see nothing that I can't handle if it comes to that."_

" _I don't see Naraku's actions as fear at all," Kagura said, and Sesshomaru felt the last of his optimism sink into the pit of his stomach when she said the name with no hint of revulsion or bitterness, "If he_ feared _the miko, why wouldn't he have just killed her when she was vulnerable and alone? Why bring her all the way here and allow her to reconnect with your brother when - "_

" _When what?" Sesshomaru kept the sharpness out of his tone of voice but only just, and he kept his hands upon her only to keep her talking. "I ordered the girl brought back, didn't I? Are you saying Naraku would have openly defied me then if he'd wished to?"_

 _It seemed that he had perhaps pressed too hard, because Kagura seemed to realize her own mistake and clammed up, and so Sesshomaru had to lean down and kiss her again and try not to let his own revulsion show because_ this isn't Kagura it's her body her voice but the one I'm talking to isn't Kagura -

 _He lowered himself to the bed beside her and took her up in his arms, cradling her form to his chest and ensuring he didn't have to look her in the eye more than was absolutely necessary. His mind was absolutely reeling, his soul in grieving tatters, and he had to_ think. _Had to formulate a plan, a way to stop what he knew was coming…_

 _She had her face hidden, pressed into his chest, so Sesshomaru could show the disgusted expression on his own face as he kissed the top of her head. She still smelled the same, and it stung him to his core and turned his stomach. How could she smell like_ his _Kagura when she_ wasn't _?_

" _Ow!" She flinched back in his arms, and he realized he'd inadvertently pricked her with his claws, enough to draw a thin but steady stream of blood down both of her arms. "Trying to play rough, are we?" She gave him a lascivious smile, leaning down with her tongue extended to lap at the wounds on her right arm. Her right hand reached over to cup the wounds on the left one, to keep the blood from dripping onto the bed linens. "I can play along, if you wish, milord."_

" _It was unintentional," Sesshomaru said, "My apologies. I've had a lot on my mind lately; you understand."_

" _Of_ course _I do," she purred, licking up the last of the trickle of blood and arching her neck back to press a red-stained kiss to the corner of his jaw. "We're living in uncertain times."_

 _He knew then that he'd have to kiss her again or it would look suspicious, so he did. She used her palm to smear the blood on her left arm into a vile-looking red blotch, one that would dry quickly in the air, and then used that same hand to trail up his chest and wrap her fingers around the hair at the base of his head, drawing him even closer. He pretended his disgusted groan was instead a moan of pleasure, and she didn't seem any the wiser, because she was trailing both hands over his chest, her long-nailed fingers trying to tickle and tease._

 _Sesshomaru could bear it no longer; he had to get out of here, to speak to Inuyasha and his human girl and set things in motion to reveal Naraku's master plan once and for all._

 _He'd been holding back thus far, been patient and tried to let Naraku make all the moves. All for Kagura's sake. And now, it seemed, Naraku was doing his best to turn Sesshomaru into the powerless leader that so many thought he was._

" _Kagura," he said, breaking the kiss and trying to keep the harsh edge of frustration out of his voice, "Do you want to stay here with me? In my room?"_

 _She blinked, then smiled through heavy-lidded eyes. "Do you know what you're asking?" She followed it with a curious giggle._

 _He was frozen in place, and his mind had to scream at his body to move as he forced a calm look back onto his face. "I know that I love you and I want you by my side."_

 _The real Kagura would have been touched by this sentiment, moved by the since-unspoken vow of love, but she would have declined; she would have given a sad smile and said that it was too dangerous, that she made him too vulnerable._

 _This Kagura responded with a gleeful, eager kiss, acting like a blushing new bride._

" _You'll have to stay in this room for the time being," Sesshomaru said, finding any excuse not to look into those eyes again. "I don't know what Naraku's response will be when he finds out, but above all else, I promised to keep you safe."_

 _He found some middling excuse to leave her there a few minutes later, promising to return soon. As he strode down the hallway towards his younger brother's room, replaying every single word Kagura -_ Naraku _\- had said to him, he cast an absent glance down at his bare chest, visible through the open front of his shirt._

 _He stopped short there in front of Inuyasha's bedroom door, and immediately rushed onward to find a nearby washtub, where he scrubbed at his own skin violently and thoroughly._

 _There on his chest, traced in blood with a shaky hand, were a handful of tiny characters._

HELP ME

 _He couldn't let anyone else see it._

* * *

 _ **OOOOOF**_

 _ **YEP, THAT HAPPENED**_

 _ **AND THAT HAPPENED**_

 _ **YEP ALL OF THAT HAPPENED**_

 _ **Shit's getting rough again and I have only myself to blaaaaaaaaaaaaaame**_

 _ **WELCOME BACK, AYAME! (DON[T LOOK TO YOUR LEFT RIGHT NOW, GIRL, JUST TRUST ME, DON'T DO IT)**_

 _ **Sesshomaru is difficult AF to write just so y'all know**_

 _ **HOPE THE LENGTH OF THIS MONSTER MAKES UP FOR THE WAIT**_

 _ **LOVE YOU GUYSSSSS, PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW IF YOU CANNNNNNNNNNN - meggz0rz**_


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